Toriel remained sitting beneath the tree for some time after Sans vanished, trying to understand what had just happened. GB was darting about the tree dome, whining loudly as he poked under every low hanging branch of willows leaves as if expecting Sans could somehow be found underneath them. Toriel was far too lost in her own thoughts at the moment to attempt to console the blaster, laying limply against the tree and staring down at Sans' phone in her paws.
Stars above, what had she done? Why had he reacted that way? There had to be a reason, surely what she'd said in and of itself should not have caused him such pain… Her own words repeated again and again in her mind, to the point they muted all the sounds around her.
It is not as though I am just suddenly going to forget everything you have told me, right?
What was it about this statement that had been so upsetting to him? It couldn't be that… he actually thought she would forget everything…? She may poke fun at her own old soul from time to time, but surely he didn't think her senile… No, that couldn't be it, he was too smart for that… he knew that her soul's age did not actually affect her mind or body in that way. And something like that would not have prompted such a harsh, devastating reaction.
Then what was it? As much as her mind raced on, she knew she would not find an answer, not without talking to him directly… and she had potentially just ruined the chances of that ever happening again. Even if it had been unintentional, that did not take away the damage she had done. She curled her claws tighter around Sans' phone and bit her lip, struggling not to succumb to despair. She had no right to stew in her own guilt. She had messed up and hurt her friend… and she had to do what she could to fix that.
But she needed to give it a little time. Chasing after him right that moment most likely would not solve things. He needed some time to recover and Grillby's might be the ideal place to do that, seeing as the eatery often seemed to serve as a place of respite for him. Perhaps he would at least get something to eat, she knew he had barely touched either of his meals that day. Although, there was a good chance given his current emotional state that he would be consuming something else there as well…
She laid her head in her paws, taking a few deep breaths and trying to force some resolve back into her soul. After all that had happened, she'd be lying if she claimed she wasn't craving a nice tall bottle of wine herself. But there was no way she'd be indulging in such a thing. She neither deserved it, nor could afford to deal with its effects given the current situation.
Instead, she simply drew in another breath and slowly made herself to her feet. She would go back to the house and find some way to occupy herself while she waited for him to return. She wanted nothing more at the moment than to go down to Grillby's herself and make things right with Sans, but pushing with this anymore could make the situation far worse than it already was. Though… perhaps she would at least text Grillby himself to ensure that Sans had made it there okay.
That would have to have to wait for the moment however, as Toriel had a more immediate matter to deal with.
"GB, come here, it is alright little one." She called out to the blaster, putting a stop to his frantic darting about.
GB whined again, giving another hesitant glance around before heeding her and floating over to her side. Toriel reached over to stroke the tip of the blaster's muzzle, willing him to meet her gaze.
"I know, I know… do not worry, he will come back…" She soothed, before pausing. She considered what she had just said before adding to it. "Well… depending on what happens I may have to go get him… regardless it will be alright, he will be okay GB."
GB really was a fretful little thing. Whenever Sans had him out the blaster followed his wielder about as if they were attached at the hip. If Sans got out of his sight, GB would search for him tirelessly, working himself into an uproar all the while. He seemed a touch overprotective too, sometimes growling at unfamiliar people or monsters who got too close to the skeleton. Oddly, he sometimes did this to Frisk and Flowey as well, occasionally seeming on edge around them in particular. Toriel could never make sense of that, but conceded after a while that it was probably best if GB only came out when the children were away.
Even if his behaviors were sometimes strange and a little concerning, right now Toriel could relate to GB's anxiety. At least she would not have to deal with her worries over Sans alone for the time being. She took a step forward, motioning for the blaster to follow her.
"Come now, let us return home for the moment. We need to give him a little time to calm down on his own terms… and then we will figure it out from there, okay?" Truthfully, the words were likely intended to soothe Toriel herself as well as GB.
GB was slow to respond, locking his eyelights on the spot where Sans had disappeared as he drifted alongside her. Sadly, it seemed no amount of willful staring could summon Sans back, no matter how much the blaster wished it. Grumbling softly, GB swept the whole dome with his eyelights one more time. He let out a soft yip of surprise when it seemed that he spotted something.
Toriel followed his gaze back to the tree trunk where they had been sitting as the blaster darted in that direction. She quickly realized what he had seen. Sans' faded pink slippers were still laying in the grass from when he'd taken them off. In his sudden departure, it seemed that he had forgotten them. That meant Sans was currently at Grillby's… with only his socks on. Perhaps she had no room to talk, as a monster who rarely if ever wore shoes, but something about that made her feel exasperated. Perhaps it was the knowledge that the sure to be filthy socks would inevitably end up on the floor somewhere in the house for her to find.
Truthfully though, she found it very difficult to be frustrated with him at all right now. She would happily accept him filling the house to the brim with dirty socks if it meant he would feel even a little better… If it meant that the horrible sting of her earlier words could be taken away.
She watched as GB hurriedly grabbed both slippers in his jaws, carefully carrying them by the heels as he whirled back towards Toriel. He darted back up in front of her and proudly displayed them, eyelights gleaming. She was not sure what he was so proud of, but she was happy to encourage him nonetheless.
"Well thank you so much GB." She said, forcing herself to flash him a smile. "Look how helpful you are, I had nearly missed those! Would you mind carrying them back to the house for me?"
GB gave her a quick nod and zipped up to the edge of the willow dome, looking back at her in a way that indicated he was waiting for her. It seemed that having a task to focus on momentarily helped distract the blaster from his earlier frantic worrying. Toriel grimaced a bit as she began following after him, not really sure how she felt about the fact that her own coping tactics were nearly identical to GB's. She quickly put her small smile back in place when the blaster shot her a confused look though, not wanting to snap him out of it.
As she reached the edge of the dome and began to push the long strands of hanging leaves aside, she cast one last look back at the spot where she and Sans had been sitting. A dull ache of guilt gripped her and she had to force herself to turn away or risk letting her emotions get the best of her. She bid the old tree a silent farewell, as well as a thank you, vowing to come back sometime soon under better circumstances. The old willow's clusters of leaves swayed with a pleasant whooshing sound and Toriel could almost imagine it as a reply.
As they walked back to the house, Toriel busied herself by texting. She replied to a message she'd missed from Frisk first. Even though she knew her reply was not necessarily needed, she felt yet another pang of guilt that she had not remembered to respond in a timely manner. She carefully used the tip of a claw to type out her reply.
Dear Frisk,
I am dearly sorry that I took so long to get back to you. I have been rather distracted today. I am very happy to hear that you have arrived safely and are having a fun time. Please do thank Kid's parents for all their trouble. Do not get into any trouble now, my child. L-O-L, I am only kidding, I know you will not. ]: ) I hope Kid enjoys their gift! Do send me a picture of the two of you wearing the ponchos when you have a chance. Have a wonderful time, my child.
Sincerely, Toriel.
Satisfied, she sent the text with a tap of her claw. Not before adding a picture attachment below it though, a picture of a cheese grater and a wedge of cheese with smiling faces and the words "Have a Grate Time!" plastered below them.
She was still figuring out how to do more advanced texting techniques like properly sending pictures, but once she learned how she found it too much fun not to try as often as she could. The image gallery on her phone was filled with cutesy cartoons depicting puns of a similar caliber, alongside many pictures of her friends and family of course. She was grateful she had stockpiled a great deal of them, as she did not feel up to the task of coming up with her own jokes at the moment.
Once her phone chimed, indicating her reply had been sent, she wasted no time in beginning another message, this time to Grillby. She actually knew the fire elemental fairly well. He was an ancient soul like she and Asgore. Not quite immortal the same way they were, but very long lived. He had fought alongside them during the war with the humans and had been at least a casual acquaintance before then. After they had been sealed underground though, she had rarely seen him. There had apparently been efforts to recruit him into the royal guard, but he had refused, retreating into a quiet life far away from the bustle of New Home.
She had only really been re-introduced to him because of how much Sans frequented his bar. Upon seeing him again, he'd seemed the same as always. Stoic, composed and very rarely speaking a word. Communication had certainly never been the elemental's strong suit. Sans had given her his number, but she had never tried texting him before. Her paws itched to just press the call button, but that would force Grillby to speak aloud and she didn't want to pressure him out of his comfort zone. Texting was her best option, but what was the proper way to write to such a quiet individual? Should she use phrases that could be answered with a simple yes or no? She'd just have to try her best.
Dear Grillby,
Greetings, this is Toriel. It has been a while. I hope you are doing well. I was messaging to ask if Sans is there? He said he was heading there and he left his phone here. I just wanted to ensure he made it okay. I would greatly appreciate if you could let me know when you have the chance.
Thank you.
Sincerely,
Toriel.
She refrained from adding any puns to that particular message, even though she did have quite an impressive number of fire jokes she could pull from. After reading back over it a few times, she tapped the send button and lowered her phone to her side with a breathy sigh. It would have to do for now. She just hoped the elemental would reply quickly, otherwise she may not be able to resist going down to the restaurant and checking for herself.
Toriel was so caught up in her thoughts that she nearly ran right into her own front door. She only caught herself because GB let out a concerned yip at her side. She shot the blaster a bashful, but thankful grin before turning the door handle and stepping inside. Toriel immediately went over to the kitchen table, setting both phones she'd been carrying on it and leaning against it with a soft groan of frustration. She massaged her temple with a paw, trying to work out how she needed to handle the rest of the day. She had chores to do, yes, she could distract herself with those. There were dishes to finish washing, floors that could use mopping, curriculums for the upcoming school week to go over...
She glanced up when GB zipped up in front of her, still grinning proudly as he presented her with the slippers he was carrying. When she didn't immediately react though, he opened his jaws and dropped them right on the table. She shot him a flat look, too worn out to reprimand him properly. Well, that was one more thing she could do, this was a rare opportunity to wash those ratty slippers Sans always wore. She wasn't sure if the things had ever seen a washing machine. Settling on that idea, she reached over and picked them up, much to GB's apparent delight.
After giving the blaster a snack of leftover hot cats to sustain his magic level in Sans' absence, Toriel headed for the laundry room. The blaster followed, deciding to nap on a pile of towels as she prepped the machine for the first load. She let herself get lost in her work, diligently washing not only Sans' maligned slippers, but whatever else she could find in the house that she felt could use it. As one load finished drying, she took her time folding and organizing each item into neat piles. All the while, she kept her phone in her lap, making sure to listen for the notification of a reply from Grillby.
Thankfully, around an hour into her task, it did finally come. She set aside Frisk's striped sweater she'd be working the wrinkles out of and quickly brought the phone up to her face. She opened the message with a tap of a claw.
From: Grillby
Thank you for your message Toriel… Yes, Sans is here… He has been here for a little while now... Sorry for taking so long to reply… It has been rather busy here… The Friday rush you know… Sans seems a bit off to me though… has hardly said a word… just ordered some drinks… and a bottle of ketchup… that last part is not very strange…
It took her a bit to read the text, his odd tendency towards ellipsis causing her to read each line slower by instinct. When she did reach the end, Toriel sighed, the mention of Sans' drinking not surprising her, but disappointing her nonetheless. Though, perhaps that disappointment was a touch hypocritical, seeing as she had a tendency to indulge in alcohol herself when stress got to her. She liked to believe she was a little more responsible about it though. From what she knew of her friend's tendencies, Sans was likely not showing much restraint in the matter. She tapped out a response to Grillby in a hurried manner, hoping to keep up the conversation while he was still at his phone.
Dear Grillby,
Thank you for getting back to me. I am glad to hear he got there okay. I am afraid it has been a rather rough day for him. How bad is it? Do you think I should come pick him up?
Sincerely,
Toriel.
She purposely kept out the fact that she knew exactly why he was so unlike himself. She told herself it was because she had to keep Sans' secret, but the burning guilt within her told her it was due to her own shame. She hoped that none of her strained emotions were somehow evident through her written words. As she waited for his reply, she focused on pairing socks that had come out of the dryer. She found that the task no longer kept her mind occupied properly though, the majority of her focus remaining on the phone in her lap. She may have put one of her purple swirl pattern socks with one of her snail pattern socks in her absent-mindedness.
Luckily for her and her socks, Grillby's response came rather quickly.
From: Grillby
I see… Well, he seems a little affected perhaps but… The drinks he ordered are fairly light… and I have seen him much worse… I would not worry… In fact, he seems to be cheering up a bit… He is currently chatting with Dogamy and Dogaressa… Seems to be in fairly good spirits… From what I can tell…
Toriel wasn't sure how relieved she should feel at that, but some of the anxiety fell away regardless. She knew he was likely just buzzed enough to forget what he had been through and put up his routine act, but even that was good to hear at this point. She had a hard time picturing him acting as his usual self after how hollow he'd looked when he departed. Grillby had no reason to lie to her though, and his reassurance quieted a bit of her paranoia for the moment. She returned his message far more casually this time, no longer feeling the need to rush.
Dear Grillby,
Thank you again for taking the time to reply to me, I am relieved to hear all of this. I will let you get back to your work. Just, if you will, keep an eye on him for me when you can? If he seems like he would have trouble getting home, I would appreciate you letting me know. Papyrus is not here at the moment to take him back, so I will come in his place if need be.
Thanks again and have a lovely evening.
Sincerely,
Toriel.
She sent the text and was glad to find some level of relief from all her worrying. Even though she still hated Sans' tendency to force an act when he was clearly hurting, it seemed that her friend's "fake it until you make it" strategy at least let him bounce back quickly from even the most harrowing situations. Her words had obviously caused him pain, but it was nothing he couldn't recover from. Certainly, from all she had heard that day, the skeleton had been through worse… far worse.
She suppressed a shudder, deciding she was still not ready to fully go over everything he had revealed to her yet. It was a lot to digest, and if she hadn't ruined things for good, there could be even more to take in in the future. Even if it felt a little wrong, she forced herself to return her focus to the laundry for the time being. After all the shocking, disturbing and heart-breaking things she had endured that day, it was an irresistible comfort to return to something so normal.
She continued with it for well into an hour, ensuring every item of clothing in the piles she had gathered was spotless and free of wrinkles. She may have, admittedly, gone a bit overboard… but it still left her feeling a decent sense of fulfillment as she went about the house and hung up the clothing in everyone's respective closets. When she made her final return to the laundry room to finish up, she realized she had left just one thing sitting in the basket where she had stacked the dry clothing. Sans' pale pink slippers.
The sight broke her out of the temporary state of detachment she had managed to lull herself into, bringing back reality like a punch to the gut. Somewhat subconsciously, she strolled over and picked up the sad pair of slippers in one paw, running over the top of them with the other. The wash had done them good, bringing back a faint hint of softness to the fuzzy material and giving them a much more agreeable scent. Nothing could be done for their faded color or their general poor state from years of wear, however.
As she stood there holding the slippers close to her chest, worries over Sans returned in full force. How much of his apparent rebound from her damaging words was his usual farce, further bolstered by alcohol? How badly was he hurting right now? What level of anger or sense of betrayal did he feel towards her for what she had said? What was he planning to-
She tensed up as something suddenly occurred to her, something she had not considered before. What if Sans did not intend to return home at all? It certainly wasn't out of the question… He had a notable tendency to avoid his problems however he could. The idea of him disappearing off somewhere, even just for a while, because of something she had done made her soul feel numb.
Luckily for her, a rater timely tone from her phone alerted her that she had received another text, breaking her out of her panicked thoughts. She set the slippers on top of the washing machine and quickly moved to scoop it up, opening the message before even bringing it up to her face.
From: Grillby
Hello again, Toriel… as per your request earlier… I feel as though I must let you know… I stepped away for a while to prep some burgers in the back… and Sans took the opportunity to... take a bottle of spirits from behind the bar… he told me to "put it on his tab", which I have… but he and Dogamy have had quite a lot of it… He is no state now to get himself home… If it is no trouble… I think it would be best if you came to pick him up… before he tries to do anything himself…
Toriel wasted little time in tapping out a reply, already spinning on her heels and heading towards the front door. She didn't even bother writing out her usual eloquent greeting and sign off, she just settled for:
Thank you Grillby, I will be there in 10 minutes.
She grabbed her bag from its place hanging by the door and called over her shoulder to GB as he watched after her groggily from where he had been sleeping.
"GB, I will be right back, alright? Please be good and stay here okay? It will only be a little while." She assured him, trying not to let her voice betray her anxieties.
The blaster blinked sleepily at her before giving a slow nod and settling back on the pile of towels. Toriel was eternally grateful at the moment that the blaster seemed to share his wielder's lazy nature. She was already a bundle of nerves, dealing with a drunken and potentially unstable Sans anda blaster who tended to get antsy around strangers would have been too much.
She left the house in a hurry, locking up with fumbling paws before rushing down the driveway. Papyrus had taken his red sports car on his trip which left her with the large family van they had recently purchased. It was kind of oversized for just going to pick up one person, but it would have to do. She wasted little time getting in and pulling off towards the dirt road. She thanked the stars Grillby's bar was nearby, she was still getting used to driving as it was and operating gas pedals with her large paws did not make it any easier. She kept her wits about her though, quickly but carefully heading towards the paved street that led into Newer Home's main center. As she drove, the colors of evening started painting the sky and the sun began to slowly slip behind the towering shape of Mt. Ebbot.
Toriel had mixed feelings on Grillby's. A sentiment that was furthered as she hurriedly entered the establishment upon arriving. It wasn't the greasy food or the often drunken patrons that bothered her. In fact, compared to her old life of overly fanciful royal banquets and endless expected dining etiquette, she found the simple bar quite comforting and charming. No, it was the monsters who frequented the bar that often made her visits uneasy for her.
Grillby's was a popular hangout, especially now with its move to the surface. It was practically never empty as far as she could tell. Unfortunately, that meant Toriel was almost certain to draw a fair amount of attention every time she visited. She understood it, it was natural monsters would be curious at the sight of their former queen in such a quaint little eatery. Especially now that everyone in the kingdom was well aware of who she was… used to be. But frankly she was tired of it, she was tired of all the gawking, uncomfortable silences and especially the questions that sometimes got fired her way. Questions that often came off as accusatory rather than genuinely interested.
On top of that, she was well aware that there were still monsters who held rather dire opinions of her. She had heard the things they whispered when they thought she wasn't listening. Calling her a deserter, an unstable recluse… even a downright traitor. Her ex-husband had always been the more popular one with their subjects, and that was only incredibly amplified now. In her days as queen, she would have been collected, articulate and confident in defending her honor from any who would speak against her like this. Now though, after spending nearly a century in solitude, her social and public speaking skills were not what they used to be. So it was that she often found herself overwhelmed in a public place like this, forced to endure all those questioning, occasionally bitter eyes trained upon her.
Toriel did her best to not dwell on the idea as she stepped inside, keeping herself focused on why she had come in the first place. Sure enough though, the place was packed and many eyes and various other methods of sight were turned her way. A small hush settled over the crowd, not quite dipping into silence but enough that it was still noticeable. The music from the jukebox felt painfully loud in the sudden quiet.
After a few moments, most of the regulars turned away, if only to be civil. A good number still stared though, a variety of reactions on their faces. Toriel purposely drew herself up and ignored them, pushing past a large tiger monster as politely as she could and heading towards the bar at the back of the restaurant. As she walked, the sound of chatter began to slowly start up again. But much of it still remained muted, as if they did not wish for her to hear them.
She felt a surge of relief when she spotted Grillby behind the bar, and Sans quickly after seated at his usual bar stool. Grillby seemed to mirror that relief, putting a flaming hand to his chest and letting out a small puff of clear smoke from his mouth as he appeared to sigh. Toriel hurried over to Sans' side, quickly taking in the scene before her.
Sans was leaning against the bar, laying his skull on one folded arm. His other hand was lazily wrapped around the neck of a bottle, thankfully only about a third of it emptied, and definitely the swiped spirits that Grillby had mentioned. A couple of empty glasses and an empty ketchup bottle sat on the bar around him as well, painting a clear picture of what had been taking place here over the past few hours. And sure enough, his slipper-less socked feet dangled off the chair, only adding to his disheveled appearance.
He swayed a bit where he sat and was staring over at Grillby with hazy eyelights. He was also sporting a wobbly grin that Toriel had come to associate with her friend in his drunken state. He didn't notice her approach, continuing to babble on to Grillby as he clearly had been for some time.
"grillbzzz… come on, 's not like you to give me the cold shoulderr…" He drawled, shooting the elemental a lazy wink.
Grillby made no comment, just giving Toriel a nod before collecting the empty glasses around Sans and carrying them to the sink. Dogamy, who was sitting on the stool beside Sans, howled with laughter though, pounding a paw on the table and wagging his tail furiously. The drunken dog monster's tongue lolled out of his mouth as he turned, probably to comment on Sans' joke, but he froze up when he saw Toriel.
"Your majessttyy?" Dogamy slurred questioningly, tilting his head to one side.
Toriel paid him no mind, giving Sans' shoulder a gentle shake and speaking his name in an effort to gain his attention.
"Sans... It is me, my friend. I have come to take you home." She said, keeping her voice somewhat low in an attempt to not attract any more unwarranted attention to herself.
Sans did finally look up at her at that, eyelights focusing just a bit at the sight of her. There was no trace of the horror or shock from before though. In fact, his expression did not change at all, he just shot her the same goofy smile he'd directed at Grillby before.
"toriii, when did you get heree?" He asked, chuckling to himself a bit.
He suddenly swung the bottle in his hand out towards her, causing some of it to slosh over his phalanges.
"you ssshould have some... sit with uss… we've been having a…" He shot a sideways glance at Dogamy again. "…doggone good time."
Dogamy succumbed to barks of laughter again, clearly more from the alcohol then from actually finding the joke funny. Toriel was sure just about anything said in a joking tone would be enough to get the dog monster laughing. Truly they were both absolutely hammered at this point.
"No, my friend." She replied simply, gently taking the bottle from him but setting it on the counter as far away from them as she could reach. "I appreciate the offer but… you have clearly had enough. Come now, we should get you home."
Sans blinked, mild confusion on his face. Without the bottle in his hand, he hung onto the bar instead, steadying himself as best he could while he faced her.
"what? not even a chuckle…? damnn I must reallyyy suck at everrything today… sorryy t." He replied, seeming to ignore her request in favor of commenting on the lack of her usual reaction to his puns.
She sighed, honestly wishing she was in a situation where she could laugh at his silly jokes like she usually did. But her sense of humor seemed to be out of commission at the moment, struck down by a choking feeling of guilt. Her expression saddened as she spoke again.
"Do not apologize my friend, it is not you… I am just… I am so sorry about what happened… I did not intend to upset you so badly before…" She responded softly, rubbing her paws together.
Her words seemed to spark a small flash of recognition in him, and his smile waned for a moment. But it returned rather quickly and he haphazardly waved a hand in a dismissive manner.
"oh… well like… don't be all sadd about that okayy? don't worry bout it… i was just being dumb… s'not like you couldaa known bout…"
Sans trailed off, eyelights dulling a bit and becoming quite hazy again. He put a hand to the side of his skull and swayed in his seat a bit.
"waitt… what were we talking bout again?" He asked, giving her a vaguely sheepish grin.
Toriel realized then what should have been obvious. Now was not the time for this. Sans was in no condition to be discussing what had happened between them. She would just have to be content for now that he didn't seem to hold any ill will towards her for it all. She shook her head and willed herself to smile back at him.
"Never mind it, we can discuss it later. Let us go home for now." She said, before she held out a paw to him.
He stared at her paw for a bit, looking as though he might want to protest, but he did eventually put his hand in hers. Before she could help him down though, Dogamy let out an overdramatic whimper and looked at the two of them with big, sad eyes.
"Do ya really gotta leave Sans? You'lll miss the rest of the celllebrating!" The dog monster said plaintively.
Sans gave him a shrug in reply, letting Toriel steady him as he hopped down from the barstool.
"sorry pupper… them's the brakes. you know that when pap showsss up here, it means i gotta go." He paused, looking between both of their confused faces before correcting himself. "oh right, yer not pap… heh heh heh.. he's off at that "beach training"… loada bs that is… sorry t, I know yer not my bro...heh"
Toriel couldn't help but feel a touch of amusement at his ramblings. As much as she was saddened to see what her careless words had driven him to, it didn't change the fact Sans was often quite entertaining when inebriated.
"I would certainly hope you know that." She indulged him in a teasing tone, grin growing a little more believable.
She hesitated to let go of his hand, not confident in his ability to keep himself upright at the moment.
"Do you think you can walk okay?" She asked uncertainly.
Sans waved her paw off, nodding with drunken confidence.
"sure i cannn, no problem at alll." He slurred, before attempting to take a few staggering steps.
As Toriel expected though, his addled sense of balance failed him and she had to grab his hand again to keep him from tumbling backwards. He grinned up at her, shrugging his free shoulder a bit.
"welp, maybe not… heh heh heh."
His momentary spill had attracted a fair few more of the patron's gazes in their direction and Toriel had to force herself to not acknowledge any of them. With what she knew she was going to have to do, she'd just have to accept being the center of attention for a while.
"Well then, my friend, it seems I have no choice." She said, and despite it all, there was a touch of humor in her tone.
He quirked a brow ridge at her and something in his expression told her he knew what she meant. He didn't seem to have a problem with it, so without further hesitation, she knelt down and scooped him up bridal style, lifting him easily into her arms. As before, it struck her as odd just how light he really was. If she really wanted to, she could easily hold him with just one paw. It took a moment of adjustment but the surprise at his lack of weight turned to appreciation for it, as it made the situation quite a deal easier for her. She met his gaze to gauge his reaction. This wasn't the first time she had carried him, but some part of her always worried that he would feel belittled or embarrassed when she did it.
Sans showed no signs of that though, just shooting her that same wobbly smile and settling into her arms as if it were the most natural thing in the world. He was back to rambling and making puns again in no time at all.
"gee tori, how'd ya know i needed a pick me up?" He quipped, giving her a lazy wink.
Okay, that one got her a little. She stifled a snort of amusement, not wanting to laugh her usual boisterous laugh in the middle of this nosy crowd. Stars, she would never hear the end of it if she let that happen. Sans brightened at her small reaction though, grin widening and eyelights shining with warmth.
"hehh, gotcha that time didnn' i?" He slurred, looking rather proud of himself.
Oh, how things always seemed to go the same way for them. She goes to him with the intention of helping him with his troubles and yet he always finds some way to cheer her up instead. Even after all she had put him through that day and with his soul swimming in alcohol, he was still worried more for her happiness over his own.
"Why do you never think of yourself, my friend?" She thought sadly, subconsciously holding him a little closer.
Toriel did allow herself to return his pun, if only to keep up his good mood. There was no telling how long his drunken state of bliss would last after all.
"I suppose you did." She replied warmly, somewhat forgetting to keep her voice low at this point. "in fact, in my opinion, when it comes to your jokes… tonight you have really… raised the bar."
It seemed that with the added effect of all the alcohol involved, her joke must have seemed like the best one he'd heard in years, because he was the one to succumb to laughter. He covered his face with his hands and giggled uncontrollably. His laughter was not loud like her own, more like a greatly amused wheezing, but she still somewhat regretted it as she felt the eyes of the crowd boring into her once more. Not only that, but she heard Dogamy start laughing again too as well as another voice from that direction.
She turned to see Dogaressa had appeared at her husband's side, snorting loudly into a paw as she helped Dogamy up from his stool. Both dog monsters continued their yips of amusement as Dogaressa looped her love's arm about her shoulders and got him to his feet. She met Toriel's eyes after composing herself and smiled playfully.
"That was very funny your highn- er… Toriel!" She complimented her, tail still wagging excitedly. "Usually it's just Sans telling all the puns here, I never thought anyone else shared his sense of humor!"
Toriel tried not to let her minor embarrassment turn her smile into a grimace. Sans was still recovering from his fit of laughter in her arms and his giddy wheezing made it even harder to keep a straight face.
"Well… um, thank you…" Toriel managed to reply.
In truth, she wasn't too keen on getting into a conversation with this monster she had never spoken to before. She wanted to just leave, get back home and get away from all these monsters and their staring eyes. But she couldn't be rude, so she forced herself to keep talking for a bit.
"You are not partaking in any drinks tonight?" She asked, noting the dog monster's clear sobriety in the crowd of inebriated monsters.
Dogaressa shook her head, long ears flopping. "Nope! But it's for a wonderful reason! The reason we are celebrating!" She yipped, nuzzling her husband's cheek affectionately. "Tell her dearest!"
Dogamy straightened up as best he could in his drunken state, eyes brightening with joy and his tail wagging so quickly it nearly became a blur.
"PUPPIES!" He shouted, nearly sending him and his wife to the floor with his declaration. "WE ARE HAVING PUPPIES! I AM GOING TO BE A FATHER!"
He then covered his wife's face with many loving licks, causing Dogaressa to giggle in delight.
"The doctor says I am carrying a litter of eight!" She managed to say between her husband's displays of affection. "They will be here near the start of July!"
Toriel couldn't control the sudden smile that spread across her face and she could practically feel her own eyes sparkling. Any hesitation towards the conversation disappeared.
"Congratulations! Oh, how wonderful…" She replied, voice genuine. She accidently squeezed her arms around Sans perhaps a little too tightly in her sudden rush of emotion.
No matter her mood, the subject of children or babies always made her soul feel warm within her. The idea that the Dogi's puppies would be among the first monsters born on the surface was enough to bring a tear to her eye. They had such a bright future ahead of them, so much more to look forward to compared to those born in the dark, claustrophobic world of the Underground. She could not wait to meet them one day, perhaps she would even get to teach them at her school!
Her spiral of joyful thoughts was cut off when Sans' spoke up from his place in her arms.
"toriii, yer crussshing mee." He slurred, sounding more amused than anything though.
Toriel quickly loosened her grip, shooting him an apologetic look.
"Oh! I am sorry my friend…"
She shook herself out of her thoughts, focusing back on the task at hand. She had come here to take him home, had she not? Sans kept talking though, addressing the dog couple this time.
"you guysss better bring those pups by the house sometimee once they arrive, else tori might explodeee…" He said, giving Toriel a poke as he talked.
She gave Sans a flat look, only to earn another playful poke to her muzzle. The dog monsters seemed oblivious to her reaction though, nodding enthusiastically in response to the request.
"Oh certainly!" Dogaressa piped up. "We will have them meet everyone! Oh, I am just so excited!"
She paused a moment and seemed to take in the way Toriel was holding Sans, tilting her head ever so slightly. Toriel froze up, realizing just how she might be interpreting the sight of them. Her mind began racing, trying to come up with some explanation she could give. But she barely had a moment to think anything through before the dog monster spoke again.
"That looks fun! Let's try it too, sweetheart!" She exclaimed before sweeping her husband in front of her and into her arms.
This proved to be a much more difficult task for her compared to Toriel, but she did not flinch from it. She lifted the drunken Dogamy up and managed to cradle him properly. Toriel was impressed, it seemed the dog monster was quite a bit stronger than she looked. Dogamy sputtered in surprise but managed to balance himself. The couple nuzzled their noses together again for a bit before looking back at them.
"Well, we must be off now! This was great fun but us soon-to be puppy parents need our rest!"
Dogaressa declared, giving Sans and Toriel a nod. "It was nice to see you two, especially you Toriel! Sans talks about you all the time when he comes here. It is great to see you in person. Don't be afraid to stop by more often! We'd love to get to know you better!"
Toriel nodded a bit hesitantly in response, quite grateful for the dog monster's sentiment but still not sure she could honor her request… not yet at least. The Dogi may accept her, but there was no telling what the bar's other regulars thought of her. Perhaps though, she would at least consider coming by again on a less crowded night. Sans would probably like that, and his friends did seem to be quite approachable. She decided that for now, she wouldn't dismiss the possibility.
The dog couple thanked Grillby and a few other nearby patrons before Dogaressa headed for the door, proudly carrying her husband all the while. Toriel was thankful for them taking the attention off of her for a bit. Perhaps she could slip out with Sans before they all directed their interest at her again.
Speaking of Sans, she noticed that he had gone quite stiff at Dogaressa's mention of how he apparently often talked about Toriel. She looked down at him to see he was staring after the dog monsters' retreating forms with a look of vague frustration. His cheekbones had taken on a now familiar cyan hue as well, seeming to indicate to her that the remark had left him quite flustered. Toriel knew she should be taking the opportunity of the moment to leave unnoticed, but she couldn't help but tease him just a little.
"You talk to them about me?" She asked, quirking an eyebrow and shooting him a wry grin.
Her question had the effect she thought it would, he flinched a bit and the color on his face increased considerably. He was suddenly quite sweaty as well, eyelights darting about nervously. Even in his inebriated state, the question prompted a sober-enough response.
"w-well s-sure… ya know…" He sputtered, flailing his hands a bit as he spoke. "I talk to themm bout everyone… not just youu. I may have mentioned you a few timess… 'so what? like why s'it a big deall? does it surprisse you that much?"
She giggled softly at his response and shook her head.
"No, my friend, I guess it does not surprise me… I hope it is good things you are saying about me though. Are you sure you are not simply complaining about the bossy lady you live with who worries too much?" She asked, playfully feigning a bit of a hurt tone.
Sans narrowed his eye sockets, looking slightly affronted.
"course not, you're the bessst tori, i said that beforee didn' i? i told them bout how funny you are and yer great baking ssskills and bout how yer such a cool teach now and- "
He cut himself off, realizing the extent of his rambling. He covered his face with his hands and let out a groan. Toriel had to try very hard not to laugh at his expense, biting her lip and stifling a snort of amusement.
"toriii… 's not fair to ask me this stuff r'now… 'm super drunk…" He drawled, freeing one hand to pull his hood up and then tugging on both drawstrings under it concealed nearly his whole face.
Toriel gave him a little squeeze, letting it basically function as an apologetic hug.
"I am dearly sorry my friend, do not be embarrassed." She said, voice warm and jovial. "You are just so funny like this. For what is worth, I am quite flattered. I tell my students about you sometimes as well."
He loosened his grip on the drawstrings slightly, allowing a bit of his eye sockets to be visible again.
"what d'ya tell em?" He asked, looking a bit suspicious.
"Very much the same, my friend, but if you want specifics, perhaps you could ask me the next time I have a little too much to drink."
She saw his eye sockets narrow again and he grumbled something unintelligible. Then he sighed and released both strings completely, leaving his hood up but letting his face be visible again. A light dusting of colored still showed on his cheekbones, but his wobbly smile was back in place.
"finne…" he conceded, shrugging his shoulders a bit. "point taken, I guesss."
Toriel let out another soft giggle at that, before reassessing the situation in the room around them. They had drawn quite a few eyes again, though most at this point were at least making an effort to hide their staring. It was best for them to get going before any of them were brave enough to come up to her and start asking questions. The encounter with the Dogi had been pleasant enough, but she was just about spent socially for the evening.
"Let us get going now, as fun as this has been, I am still worried about just how much you've had to drink tonight… Plus… You have had a very trying day today my friend, we both have… but you especially need some rest." She said, the somberness she'd entered the bar with returning to her voice.
"mmm… k tori…" was all Sans uttered in response, his eye sockets drooping a bit and his eyelights becoming rather hazy again.
That was more than enough of a cue for her to get going. She caught Grillby's attention and waved a paw as much as she could manage in a goodbye motion. The fire elemental gave her a simple nod in response, seemingly absorbed in his task of drying off the glass in his hand, but Toriel thought she could see the barest hint of a smile on his face.
She shifted Sans slightly in her arms into a more comfortable position and began towards the door, doing her best to keep near the walls and avoid wandering gazes. A few monsters did watch them the entire time, but at least had the decency to leave it at that. One very drunken rabbit monster in particular stared at them with an odd look of disappointment in her swirly eyes. Toriel didn't slow down, not wanting to present an opportunity for her or anyone else to potentially drag them into another conversation.
Finally, she reached the door and pushed it open with her shoulder, grateful to find it opened outwards. She felt a massive rush of relief as she stepped into the cool air of the evening, letting all the noise and gawking eyes vanish behind her as the door swung shut. She leaned her back against it for a moment, closing her eyes as she took a deep breath and let it out in a sigh. That had all gone better than expected, but it still left her feeling drained. She decided to take a moment to compose herself before she had to go to the car and drive them both home.
Her behavior was not lost on Sans, even in his inebriated state. She could feel his concerned gaze on her. She made herself open her eyes and look down at him again. He clearly had not sobered up much, if it all, but his speech seemed a bit more coherent and focused.
"hey… you 'lright tori?" He asked, expression looking vaguely guilty. "m'… reall sorry you had to come… get me like this. i shouldn' of… run off like that…"
Toriel shook her head in response, expression soft.
"It is alright my friend, do not blame yourself for being upset. Clearly, I said something I did not realize would hurt you. And after everything else, I cannot blame you for acting the way you did. Though yes, going off to get drunk may not have been the best way to handle it."
She said the last part with playful smile, hoping to keep the conversation as lighthearted as she could. There would be plenty of time for reflecting on the true weight of the situation later. The alcohol in his system had kept Sans quite giddy all evening at the bar, but she worried how it would affect him if the despair he'd experienced before began creeping back in again. Alcohol and such negative emotions did not mix well. It would be best if she could help keep up his good mood until he had sobered up.
Thankfully, her efforts seemed to work, as her remark made Sans' smile return to his face, even if it was weaker than before.
"heh, truee… I'm gonna be a friggn' mess tomorrow." he replied, grinning sheepishly. "guesss it serves me right…" He paused for a moment, alcohol addled thoughts clearly taking longer than usual for him to process.
"oh, uh, also… don't worry about what'cha said beforee… it'll make sense whyy i… y'know… we'll uuh… we'll get to that part eventually… heh."
Toriel blinked, feeling a twinge of surprise at that. She was sure he'd become fed up with the whole idea of talking to her about everything at this point. She couldn't be positive it wasn't just the alcohol talking, but she was glad to hear that some part of him was still on board nonetheless. She'd see what he had to say regarding it tomorrow, but she let the reassurance melt away some of the tension in her soul for now.
Feeling fairly restored, she pushed away from the door and began making her way towards where she had parked the van. It was a fair ways away, due to the parking lot being so crowded when she'd arrived. Now that some patrons had begun to leave though, the car almost looked lonely as it sat alone near the back of the lot. As she started towards it, she glanced down at Sans once more.
"Very well, my friend, I will keep that in mind. And I thank you for your continuing trust." She responded softly, holding him a bit closer to her as she did so.
Sans only replied with a nod and a soft sound of affirmation, seeming to be lost in thought again. After a moment though, he blinked and his eyelights shimmered mischievously.
"hey, ya know t, you caan't be too mad at me for deciiding to drink my problemss away." He slurred as Toriel walked, grin stretching back across his face.
"Have you forgottenn the day afterr those humans triedd to deny you your license to teach? Youu had like three glassess of wine? a bunch of lil' pizzas were thrown at mee?"
Toriel frowned hard and furrowed her eyebrows at him.
"I thought we agreed not to discuss that again." She said, tone vaguely irritated. "I can drop you and make you walk to the car yourself, you know."
Sans chuckled weakly and held his hands up in surrender. "ok… ok… heh heh heh."
She let out a "hmph" and kept walking, keeping her gaze locked on the car for the rest of the way there. He had a point, but she wasn't about to admit that. That incident had been rather embarrassing for a number of reasons and she didn't need him bringing it up when she was so worn out. She supposed she'd forgive him though, the teasing was probably only fair after everything that had happened. And it seemed to be keeping him in a good mood at least.
They reached the car and Toriel rounded it to the passenger's side. She unlocked the door and pulled it open, carefully letting Sans down as she did so. He still swayed a bit as he crawled up onto the seat, but managed it eventually. She remained beside him until she was sure he was stable, reminding him to buckle his seatbelt before shutting the door. He obliged, with much amusement shining in his eyelights.
As she climbed into the driver's seat, she saw he was staring down at his socked feet with a confused look on his face.
"whaa? did i… lleave my slippers in there?" He asked, glancing towards the bar again.
Toriel gave a light chuckle, pulling her own seatbelt across her front.
"No Sans, you left them behind when you went to Grillby's." She explained, prompting him to look back over at her. "They are back at the house, I took the opportunity to wash them for you."
Sans blinked slowly, processing what she was implying.
"so… i have been aat grillby's… without myy slippers… this whole time?" He asked, speaking each part with notable pauses in between.
Toriel nodded, grin widening as she turned the key to start the van. "You certainly have, I am surprised you never noticed… I would have expected someone to have told you at least."
Sans just stared blankly forward for a few more moments before looking back down at his feet with a soft "huh".
Silence stretched between the pair for a while after that, as Toriel pulled the car out to the road again. There was a fair bit of traffic as many monsters were leaving the city center to head home for the night. The colors of the evening sky faded as the sun finally slipped beyond the horizon, enveloping the world below in the darkness of night. The lights of Newer Home glowed all around them as they got stuck in a small traffic jam on the main road funneling out of the city.
Toriel glanced at Sans as they waited for the next group of cars to move ahead of them. He was listing against the window, eye sockets drooping. Stars, he looked so exhausted… It seemed to her everything that had happened that day was really catching up with him. He should be out like a light at this point, yet she could tell he was fighting it, shaking himself awake whenever he would begin to nod off. Concern swirled through her soul as she gripped the wheel tighter in her paws. She turned her gaze back to the road, but watched him as best she could out of the corner of her eye.
"You can sleep, my friend." She said gently, finally breaking the silence.
Sans jumped slightly and turned to look at her, blurry eyelights attempting to focus.
"I know you are tired…" She went on before he could retort. "It is fine. I do not mind carrying you inside when we get there. It is no trouble. Besides… I do not think you are sober enough to walk properly anyway."
She said the last part with a touch of humor again, hoping to cheer him up as she had before. But it did not seem to work this time, as his smile remained weak and the exhaustion on his features did not soften at all. He kept silent as the traffic ahead finally cleared a bit, allowing them through. Toriel had to focus on her driving for the next few minutes, trying not to let the worry that gripped her get the better of her. As they got on to the dirt road heading towards their neighborhood, she was able to slow down and drive at a more relaxing pace.
It was then, as they left the lights of the city behind them, Sans did finally reply.
"can't sleep… not tonight…" He mumbled, the fatigue in his voice showing that his soul clearly thought otherwise.
Toriel gave him another glance, trying not to show just how much his statement worried her.
"Why ever not?" She asked, though part of her felt she already knew the answer, it pushed her to add to the question. "Is it because of… your nightmares?"
The skeleton chuckled humorlessly, seeming to draw deeper into his hoodie as he rubbed at his eye sockets.
"…yah…" He admitted, voice somewhat hoarse. "y'know with all thaat stuff we talked aboutt… with the doc and all… its all kindaa… in my head again… i haven't thought about it in a lonng time… plus i'm drunk as helll… heh. i'm not about to deall with what my sub-consciouss is looking to cook up forr me with those variables…"
She could see out of the corner of her eye as he leaned back in the chair and shrugged his shoulders.
"also… like… didn' pap say he was gonna calll? can't snooze through thaat "again" right?" He added, making lazy air quotes as he said the word.
Toriel didn't respond right away. They were pulling up at the house now, and she waited until she parked the car to finally turn and face him again. She tried to look somewhat stern for what she said next, but she felt like she most likely just looked sad more than anything.
"Sans, you know you cannot do that to yourself… There is no way you will last until morning in the state you are in… Even if you could, it is not good for you, my friend..." She said, subconsciously laying a paw against her chest as she spoke.
Sans met her words with another dismissive shrug, there was a touch of defensiveness to it too.
"heh, don't worry bou' it… i've done this plenny a times… it's no big deall." He retorted, his slurring seeming to get a little worse.
Toriel stayed firm, hardening her expression further.
"And have any of the times you have done this helped you with this problem in the long run?" She asked, tone shifting to become serious.
Sans flinched slightly at the question, stiffening up and looking away. He didn't seem to have an answer to that. A soft rattling sound alerted her to the fact he'd started trembling a bit.
Toriel let her frustration escape her with a sigh, willing her voice to take on a gentle tone again.
"Sans… you were willing to open up to me about your past in an effort to let me help you. So please… let me help you with this too. I am sure there is something that can be done so that you can get some sleep tonight."
She unbuckled her seat belt and scooted a little closer, reaching out to lay a paw softly on his shoulder. She prepared herself to pull it away if he shied from it, but he didn't move, so she left it and rubbed the spot gently.
"I am more than happy to stay up with you until we can figure this out. We are in this together from now on, are we not? Even if we do not make much progress tonight, I know that, like with everything else, taking a step will make a difference. I just need you to be willing to try, my friend… can you do that for me?"
The skeleton kept his gaze away from her, but did not jump to argue. She could feel the tension in his body under her paw. It remained that way long enough that she began to think of something else to say, but then she felt him relax, the tension fading from him. He turned his head back towards her. He didn't meet her eyes but he nodded slightly, looking more exhausted than ever.
"…alright…" He conceded, voice low. Leaving it at that.
Toriel gave his shoulder a squeeze, a familiar warmth mixing with the icy worry in her soul. She smiled gratefully down at him, more for herself than him though, it seemed.
"Thank you, my friend..." She replied simply, wanting to say more, but also feeling the terrible weight of exhaustion settling on her own shoulders.
She pulled away for a moment to slip out of the car and round it over to the passenger's side. She opened it and leaned down with the intention of picking him up again. This time though, as she slid an arm around his middle he suddenly leaned up and wrapped his own arms around her neck. The surprise of that gave her momentary pause, but she quickly adjusted in order to accommodate him, more than happy to allow it.
She could feel him shuddering as she closed her arms around him, and it made her soul ache terribly for him. Worse than that though, was now with his soul so close to her own, she could once again feel the emotions flowing from it firsthand. They were somewhat muted, perhaps from all the alcohol's effect on his magic, but they were certainly detectable nonetheless. Right at that moment, more than anything else, he was deeply afraid. Toriel swallowed against a lump in her throat, hoping she could indeed make good on her word and find some way to ease the fear that was gripping him. And, by the stars above, help her poor friend get some sleep.
But as she shut and locked the van door, then began towards the house, something in Toriel's soul told her it was going to be a long night for the both of them.
