Toriel entered the house in silence, keeping a tight hold on the small skeleton in her arms. She freed a paw only to flick on the light and lock the door behind them. Afterwards, she found herself simply standing in place, not sure what to do and not wanting to let go of him. Sans seemed to mirror her feelings, keeping his grip on her and not saying a word either as he continued to lightly tremble. Eventually, something did demand both their attention though.
A soft warbling sound alerted Toriel to the sight of GB floating into the room. The blaster was hovering only a little off the ground, eyelights dim as he regarded them. His expression was happy as ever, but thoroughly exhausted, as though he was barely able to keep himself in the air. He let out another weak but joyful trill as he drifted over to them.
Toriel felt a pang of guilt, realizing how long she'd left poor GB alone in the house. His weakened state was worrying as well, as it seemed to go beyond simple tiredness. She reached out a paw to pull the blaster up close as he reached them, expression apologetic.
"Oh GB, I am so sorry… I took longer than I expected. Are you alright?" She asked, giving him a few pets across the top of his head.
Sans, reluctantly it seemed, loosened his grip enough to turn in Toriel's arms to look at his blaster. She could see a bit of his expression now, and he looked about as worn down as she had ever seen him. It seemed he was hardly attempting to keep up any sort of façade now, eyelights hardly a flicker in his sockets and faint grin devoid of any sincerity. Just as with her, guilt crossed his features at the sight of GB, and he reached out to pull the blaster closer to him.
"ah damn… sorrry bud… you've been out ffor hours now, huh?" He croaked, patting the side of GB's jaw. "you are probablly just about spent on magic at this point…"
GB let out a weary grumble in agreement, but then gave Sans an affectionate nuzzle, concern flaring in the weak lights of his eyes. His wielder's dire condition was clearly not lost on him, even in his own poor state. Sans attempted to give the blaster a reassuring grin, but couldn't keep it up for more than a few seconds.
"it's alright buddy, 'm okay… sorry for ditchin' ya like that… wasn't cooll of me. specially' after all ya did to help me out todayy." Sans murmured, pulling the blaster closer as much as he could in Toriel's arms.
GB purred deeply, a clear sign that Sans' apology had been accepted. Sans managed a tiny, brief smile again, expression softening as he let the blaster go.
"yer a reall pal GB… i'll find somme way to make it up to ya." He said genuinely, and Toriel could feel a bit of warmth flowing from his soul, tempering the fear and exhaustion for a bit.
Sans gave the blaster another pat, expression becoming a touch serious.
"but for now, back to the ppocket dimension with ya. you need to rest upp…"
GB's jaws parted in a huge yawn before he nodded in weary agreement. He glanced at Toriel and gave her a friendly nuzzle. Toriel smiled back at the blaster and brought him close with a paw for a goodnight kiss on the forehead.
"Goodnight friend, thank you again for everything. Rest well, and I am sure I will see you again soon." She said warmly, offering the strongest smile she could muster.
GB warbled in delight at her gesture, purring all the more. He then turned and glanced at Sans expectantly, lowering his muzzle and nudging Sans with the top of his skull. A faint spark of amusement flashed in Sans' eyelights and the smallest of chuckles escaped him.
"no bud, noo kisses from me. ya know I don't even have lipss…" He slurred, playfully swatting the blaster away.
GB grumbled with faint disappointment, but gave up in his efforts with a soft huff. He stayed still and closed his eye sockets as Sans placed a hand on top of him, the skeleton's phalanges faintly sparking with pale blue magic.
"night pal, see ya later…" Sans said softly, and with a quick flash of light and a bit of momentary spacial distortion, GB disappeared.
Sans let his hand drop with a shaky sigh, breaths becoming labored and sweat dotting his skull from the strain that even the small act of magic had caused him. Toriel tightened her grip on him in concern and he turned around back into her embrace, resting his skull against her shoulder. He slowly regained his grip on her, curling his phalanges into the fabric of the front of her dress. She readjusted her hold on him a bit as well and gave him a gentle squeeze.
"Are you alright?" She asked, pressing her cheek to the side of his skull, against the soft material of his hoodie.
Sans responded with a hoarse, wheezy chuckle that made his whole body rattle softly.
"wha' do ya think?" He rasped, the actual attempt at humor in his voice only somehow making the whole situation sadder to Toriel.
"Sorry, that was a foolish question…" She apologized, rubbing a circle into his back. "How about instead I ask… What can I do to help?"
Sans didn't answer her for a while, a stark silence settling over the two. The only sound came from the ticking clock hanging in the kitchen and the crickets faintly beginning their nightly chorus outside. But then he tightened his grip on her and pressed his face hard into her shoulder, the shivering that had gripped him earlier returning in earnest.
"just…" He managed eventually, voice shaking a bit. "just don't… don't leave…please…"
Toriel felt her soul clench up at that, nearly enough to bring tears to her eyes. She knew that he likely would not be so honest and vulnerable with his answer had he not been so heavily intoxicated, but hearing those words from him still broke her heart. No matter the reason for it or how much it hurt though, she was glad that he was letting himself open up and be truthful with her. Just a day ago, she would have scarcely thought it possible that she'd get this far with him.
"Of course, my friend, I shall not leave you. I promise." She replied firmly as she hugged him all the tighter, hoping it further communicated her intentions.
He didn't lessen his grip at all, but Toriel could feel the waves of magic from his soul calm a bit. Though strangely, a heavy feeling of sadness began to flow from it too, and his response reflected it.
"you… can't… promise that…" He murmured just above a whisper, voice thick with despair.
It was just like all that time ago when she'd hear him mutter such things to himself on the other side of the Ruins door. Things that seemed to make no sense and caused him clear pain. Now though, she knew that there was a reason for his strange words. And she'd likely know that reason in time, if his earlier restated commitment to revealing his past to her stayed true. So, she decided not to question his odd response for now.
"Well, I promise it regardless." She said, keeping her voice even. "Come now."
She didn't expect a response from him and indeed he kept quiet as she began to make her way to the living room. She decided to set him on the large, boss-monster sized couch in the center of the room, grabbing up one of her paw-sewn throw blankets from another chair on the way.
"Sit here for now." She said softly, leaning down to place him on the plush lavender cushions. "I am going to go to the kitchen to grab a few things and then we will figure out what to do from there."
There was a fleeting moment where she thought he was going to argue and refuse to let go, but he then seemed to remember himself and reluctantly pulled away. He settled back into the couch, keeping his head low but giving a small nod and a soft affirmative sound in response.
Toriel slid her purse off her shoulder and set it on the arm of the couch before spreading out the blanket between her paws. She gave it a shake and then threw it over him, instincts kicking in and moving her to tuck it in a bit around him. Her massive handiwork positively drowned the small skeleton in fabric, which in a less morose situation she would have found amusing. Now though, it only seemed to highlight how small he likely felt, inside and out.
"I will only be a few minutes." She assured him, grabbing the remote to the television and setting it on top of where she assumed his knee lied beneath the thick blanket. "You could watch something while you wait if you would like."
"mm-hmm…" was all he uttered in response, pulling the blanket a bit closer and continuing to avoid her gaze.
She lightly patted his leg before turning and heading back towards the kitchen. She really hated to step away after what had just happened, even just for a few minutes. But she knew her friend needed to get stabilized before anything else. She had suspicions that he hadn't really eaten a thing all day, and that was contributing to his fatigue just as much as the exhaustion was. On top of that, he needed to get some water into his system after drinking so much alcohol. She hoped that getting his magic levels more balanced would help him sleep better.
With that in mind, she set to work as quickly as she could once she stepped into the kitchen. She prepared them both plates of toast, thinking back to what she found she could stomach after a heavy night of drinking. She added a few dabs of ketchup on top of Sans' and a couple of snails to top her own. Just for a bit of a treat, she also cut half a slice of leftover butterscotch cinnamon pie to put on her own plate. It was enough to share if Sans felt up to having some, but not too much that she couldn't eat it all herself too. She then filled up a large water bottle with ice water for her friend and settled with a small glass for herself. Satisfied with her work, she gathered everything up and returned to the living room.
It looked to her that Sans hadn't moved at all since she left. The remote remained sitting in his lap in the exact place she had set it and he was still in the same position with his head hanging low. For a moment, she felt like she was experiencing their usual nighttime ritual, where she'd discover him somewhere in the house looking exhausted and consumed by his inner struggles after failing to get any sleep herself. This time though, she knew he would not pull his usual act when she approached. He had been slowly giving up on that, at least in regards to her, the longer he had talked with her. That fact was bittersweet, leaving her soul feeling deeply relieved and deeply pained all at once.
She made her way over to him and sat down beside him as she set the food and drinks in her arms on the table directly in front of them. She pulled part of the blanket over her own lap before turning to face him.
"How are you doing, my friend?" She asked, putting a paw on his shoulder.
Sans let out a soft "heh" and shook his head. The remote slid off his lap to the floor as he pressed closer and leaned against her side. Only then did he finally will himself to look up at her, a small, empty smile spreading across his face.
"kinda feel like garbaage… in a lota' ways…" he admitted, voice still sounding rather hoarse.
Toriel hummed thoughtfully in response, reaching over to pick up his plate and water bottle.
"Try to drink some water, it should help a little, and hopefully keep you from getting too hung over tomorrow." She advised, pushing the mentioned bottle into his hand until he took it. "I made you some toast as well. I know you haven't eaten much today… if at all. You should try to have at least a little. It will help replenish your magic levels, and that would definitely be good for you right now…"
Sans blinked at her request as she set the plate of toast in his lap. He did press the nozzle of the bottle against his teeth and take a few small sips, but he seemed reluctant to touch the offered food. Toriel noticed a touch of discomfort in his expression as he looked at it and she realized what the problem might be.
"Are you… feeling sick?" She asked, giving his arm a gentle rub. She shot a quick, anticipatory glance at the waste basket a few feet away from them. Sans grimaced slightly before pushing the plate back towards her and nodding.
"y-yah maybe a lil… probly' shouldn't risk it…" He croaked, and Toriel felt a faint shudder run through him.
Toriel worried her lip with her fangs, but ultimately decided he was probably right and set the plate back on the table. Perhaps he could have it later if he felt up to it. As for her though, she felt positively famished and picked up her own plate before giving him a sympathetic glance.
"You might want to look away for a second then." She said, a touch sheepishly. "I know most people do not find snails all that appetizing... especially in your condition"
Sans did not argue, facing away and taking another small sip from his water bottle. Toriel would have usually liked to eat with a bit more dignity, but not wanting upset Sans' condition, she ate the whole piece of toast in a single bite. It took a bit to chew, but she managed it, savoring the flavor of the snails as she did. Absolutely delectable, even when refrigerated rather than fresh. She would never understand why so many found her odd for enjoying them. She decided to save the pie for now, in case Sans felt well enough to eat some after a while. She took a sip from her glass to wash it down, glancing at Sans as she did so.
He returned her gaze reluctantly, still looking rather queasy. He even set his water bottle down and pushed it away a bit with an uneasy look. That was enough to drive Toriel to take some… precautionary measures.
"Let me go grab something really quick…" She said, standing slowly to ensure he didn't fall over without her support.
He blinked in minor confusion but said nothing in retaliation, watching after her as she crossed the room and returned with the waste basket from the corner in her paw. She set it down in front of the couch, near enough that it was reachable if needed. She gave him an apologetic grin as she did so, noting the flat look he shot her way when he realized what she was doing.
"Just in case… you know?" She said, rubbing her paws together. "There is no shame if you need it… I have been there myself ehehe…"
Sans glanced down at it uncomfortably but then seemed to accept the truth of her words with a weary sigh. With that, Toriel settled back on the couch beside him, letting him snuggle up against her side once more. As she pulled him close and began idly running a paw up and down his back, she sincerely hoped she wouldn't have any reason to get up again. This sentiment was only furthered as she pulled the thick throw blanket snugly around the two of them, the comfort of it all wanting to send her straight to sleep after such a long day. Stars, it felt so much later than it really was… But she reminded herself that she very well may not be getting any sleep tonight as she looked back at the skeleton's haunted expression.
"So my friend…" She said softly, drawing his attention back to her. "Do you want to try to sleep? I will be right here with you if you do…"
Sans hesitated from responding, looking uncertain as his eyelights dimmed further.
"i… well… I do tori. trust me, i want more than anything to jusst… pass the helll out r'now… but…" he paused, a flash of guilt and perhaps even a little embarrassment shining in his eyes.
"m' not... safe to be around when i'm having nightmaress.." he slurred out finally, avoiding her gaze. "when they are really bad… sometimes i wake upp not knowin' up from down… where i amm… when i am…."
She felt him tense up as he said that in particular. It was another odd statement she didn't understand, but she continued listening, taking note of it for later.
"I tenda'… lash out at anyone who's there. i jusst can't figure out whas' real for a while… its like my body wakes upp but my mindd doesn't catch up right away… and even when it doess… it takes me a while befor' I can feel like m'self again... before i can trusst that i'm really here y'know?"
He trailed off after the question and kept his gaze away from her, but Toriel could feel him tighten his grip on her dress. She felt her soul ache in sympathy as she tried to imagine what her friend's tormented mind put him through during most nights. She usually only saw the aftermath of these situations. Hearing the specifics of what he endured was devastating to say the least. She reached out and gently cupped his cheekbone in her paw, encouraging him to look back at her. He seemed somewhat surprised by the touch and obliged, looking rather nervous as he did so.
"Oh Sans… is this why you lock your door at night? All this time you have been just... dealing with it all on your own?" She asked, emotion making her voice shake a bit.
Sans' eye sockets drooped, and his eyelights dulled to the point that they nearly went out entirely. The guilt she felt from him overpowered everything else as he nodded.
"i… i… hurt pap once…" He admitted with a small shudder. "it was pretty badd… he doesnn't remember it but… i won't risk it happen'n again… so i jus' handle it m'self… lay in bed until it all passess and then get up and wanderr around so i won' go back to sleep… flawless plann amiright?"
A bit of strained sarcasm crept into his voice as he asked the last part, and he met her eyes with a pained false grin.
"sorry t… this was stupidd of me… i shouldna' agreed to it. i can't put you in danger like thaat…" He stammered, beginning to pull away a bit despite how much he clearly did not want to.
Toriel wasted little time in getting to her knees and locking her eyes with his. She made her voice firm as she spoke again.
"No Sans, listen to me, I will be fine." She assured, impressed with how much strength she had managed to work into her voice. "I understand your fears my friend, but I will not allow you to suffer through this alone anymore. You need help. Even if you do lash out at me, you know your attacks would hardly damage me. I have handled such things before, even a bit earlier today remember? I am more than capable of defending myself if it comes to that."
She took a moment to make sure she did not let herself get too upset with him. She was well aware that her own exhaustion was probably shortening her temper, and letting that get out of hand would be the worst thing for the situation right now. She lowered her voice to a softer tone.
"I made a promise to you, my friend, and I fully intend to keep it. Now please, do not run from this anymore. I know you do not want to be alone right now. You said so yourself did you not?"
Her question hung in the air for a bit as Sans remained stiff and unmoving. After a moment though the alcohol seemed to get to him again and he swayed a bit, prompting Toriel to reach out and hold him upright. The momentary loss in composure seemed to snap him out of his panicked flight response and he appeared to deflate before her. Wordlessly, he shuffled back over into her waiting arms, huddling into her embrace as she closed it around him. Toriel sat back a bit, bringing him with her and returning to rubbing slow circles into his backbone. They sat like that for a while, and both let their troubled emotions settle within their souls.
"m' sorry…" he rasped after a minute or so, voice barely audible. "mm' sorry i keep… actin' up… i…" The weariest of chuckles escaped him. "i really don't know howta' deal with any of this, huh?"
"Do not worry about it." Toriel murmured in response. "You are exhausted, terribly drunk, and have been reliving in some way the horrible things that have happened to you… No is one going to be level-headed and agreeable dealing with all that."
Saying it all aloud made the true weight of the situation sink in through the haze of her own weariness. Guilt at her rather reactive behavior gripped her soul and she shut her eyes.
"And… I really should be considering that more… I apologize if I have been short with you, my friend. After all, I am the one who pushed you into this and I keep making a mess of things."
She felt Sans shake his head then pulled away from her a bit to speak more clearly.
"…nah. don't think like that. s'not your fault… like yah, this sucks and alll… but… i wasn't lyinn' before. i really do wantcha' to know, tori… and well, uh… i'm glad ya care so much. i mus' not make that eassy for ya, heh."
Her soul felt warm within her at his words and as much as she didn't like to hear his self-deprecation, she decided to reply with a bit of humor rather than worry. It had been far too long since either of them had made a pun and the mood could use a little lightening after all that.
"Nonsense." She practically purred, meeting his eyelights again. "You are the most pun-derful friend a monster could ever hope to have. A true bone-a-fied sweetheart."
Sans' fatigued expression softened at that, his grin growing far more believable. Though the color returning to his face made it clear her words had also left him quite flustered. He wheezed out a weak bout of laughter that devolved into a few coughs.
"aw geezz… come on, thass not fair." He croaked once he'd recovered. "how'm i supposed to make a good comeback r'now?"
He seemed to ponder it, narrowing his eyes and looking away for a second. Glancing at the dessert on her plate seemed to give him the inspiration he needed. He then turned back at her and poked her arm with a phalange as he spoke.
"you…" he began abruptly, swaying a bit. "are the… apple of my pie."
The immediate regret at the clumsiness of the joke and the implication of it was clear in his expression the moment it left him, blush spreading over his face all the more.
"uh-, I mean- d-damn it, that doessn' make any..." He stammered, clearly trying to figure out a way to save it, but too worn out to really do so.
Despite the joke's abject lack of focus, Toriel succumbed to a fit of laughter anyway. Her own weariness kept it from devolving into its usual raucousness, but it was noisy and joyful all the same. It felt good to laugh like that again, it had been far too long in her eyes.
Sans looked at her with defeated amusement, cheekbones still quite blue.
"alright.. alrighht.. geez... i know it was badd t, do you gotta rub it in?" He asked, grin widening a little as he did so.
Toriel covered her mouth with a paw, snorting as she tried to contain herself.
"I am sorry, Sans." She managed between giggles. "Forgive me, I just was not expecting you to-"
She was cut off as her words got swallowed up in another bout of laughter. Sans gave a soft, hoarse chuckle in response, expression looking suddenly rather warm as he regarded her.
"ah iss' ok. i shoulda expected it…" He said, tone carrying a soft fondness to it beneath the slurring. "even when my jokes ssuck…you'll always be the best audience i've ever hadd."
Those words and their surprising affectionate nature took Toriel off guard and she felt her heart skip a beat for a moment. Now it was her turn to feel flustered it seemed. She could feel her face heating up under her fur, and hoped desperately that the tips of her ears weren't turning red. Her laughter quickly died off, and she kept her paw over her mouth, unable to keep from blinking at him in surprise. Her mind raced to find something to stay back, but she found herself oddly speechless.
Unlike before, he didn't appear all that embarrassed by his honest words of endearment. It seemed that the alcohol and his own exhaustion had overwhelmed him once more, withering any realization he may have had regarding them. His eye sockets struggled to stay open and he wrapped a hand around his middle with a soft groan. He leaned into her arms again and she broke herself out of her minor shock to return the embrace.
Acting on a whim, she pulled him up into her lap and held him close. The faint magic response she felt from his soul only seemed to further the warmth enveloping her own. She reveled in just how… normal and right it felt. She rested her chin on the top of his hooded skull as she tried to parse the sudden thoughts fluttering through her mind.
There was no question that she and Sans had been dancing around the nature of their relationship for a quite a while. Nothing was ever explicitly said, but there were feelings there and they were clearly mutual on some level. Times like these convinced her of that. She knew that the idea was not lost on their friends or family either. She'd heard what they whispered to each other and seen the looks that they shot her way. Frisk tended to be especially non-subtle about this behavior, sometimes openly goading her with questions regarding Toriel's feelings towards the skeleton. Alphys had even declared to her once that Toriel had "ruined her ship" a statement that she still didn't quite get, but understood the basic implication behind.
She didn't know how much of the same treatment Sans had had to deal with, but she was sure he wasn't fortunate enough to escape it either. Not that she held any true ire towards her loved ones for their prodding, it was just so… difficult. It was so difficult to even consider the idea that she may in fact be feeling… that again for another monster. She had convinced herself she would never let it happen, for how could it when she had so thoroughly resigned herself to living out the rest of her years in exile, dedicated completely to her mission? And it wasn't only that… What happened with Asgore… even now, it still hurt. It still left her confused, enraged and sick to her soul.
The only relationship she'd ever been in had ended in perhaps in the worst possible way. Even those who lost their beloveds to death could at least look back at their memories together with warmth and find comfort. There are no words for the pain brought forth by watching the one you love become so consumed by both hatred and cowardice, that they become unrecognizable to you. Every happy memory you shared from then on is twisted to become something you desperately regret and wish to forget. You feel used and betrayed and broken in ways you can scarcely understand.
She suppressed a shudder, not wanting to disturb the skeleton in her arms. She turned her thoughts away from Asgore as much as she could and glanced down at Sans wearily. He still had not fallen asleep, but she could tell he was losing the fight at this point. If they stayed like this much longer, he'd surely be out before long. She felt her breath catch in her throat as he sleepily nuzzled closer, pressing his face against her neck. Her soul buzzed with emotion again and she could only pray he didn't pick up on it due to their close proximity. She swallowed hard and took a deep breath to steady herself.
Even if she was indeed feeling… that, she knew that part of her soul was heavily guarded, afraid of getting hurt like it had before. Surely, she couldn't commit herself to a relationship like that again… surely, she was too reserved now, too uncertain, too afraid… She had lost so much over the course of her life, and it all had left its mark on her soul. And what of him? Ever tormented by his past and struggling as he was? Would he even be able to mentally commit to something like a relationship? They were both such… broken monsters. In different but comparable ways. That would inevitably cause some problems down the line. The idea of them together in that way was just not realistic with everything considered…and yet…
And yet… she just could not deny that she'd hadn't been this happy in a long, long time. He'd been the one to bring happiness and laughter back to her life when she had been sure it was lost to her forever. If he hadn't knocked on her door back then and entered her life… she would not be the monster she was now. Every day she spent with him, he found some new way to banish her loneliness and make her happy. Even now… No… Especially now that she was finding out the true reasons for his ever-lingering despair and forging more and more trust between them, that feeling within her was growing ever stronger. And maybe it was because his soul was so close to her own at the moment, but something told her that it was very much the same for him. Perhaps… just perhaps, she could at least consider-
Her thoughts were abruptly halted as the sudden sound of musical ringing filled the air. She recognized the sound and turned her head to look where she knew it was coming from. Sure enough, her purse, where'd she had stored both their phones, was vibrating with each melodic tone. Papyrus was calling again, once again catching them at a rather… inopportune moment. She narrowed her eyes a bit in mild annoyance. She was definitely noticing a trend here. But there wasn't a soul alive that could stay mad at Papyrus for long. She shifted to reach over and began digging the phone out of the purse, while Sans stirred from his near-dozing with a low grumble.
She plucked the phone out and sure enough, the humorous picture of Papyrus from before was staring back at her. She looked down at Sans sympathetically.
"It is Papyrus calling again." She said softly as he shifted back a bit to meet her gaze. "Would you like me to take it?"
Sans rubbed at his eye sockets with a hand and shook his head.
"nah, i can handl' it…" He croaked, clearing his metaphorical throat. "i can't drop out on himm like before… worried as he is."
Toriel wanted to question if it was really a good idea for Sans to answer the phone drunk and nearly keeling over with exhaustion, but it would have taken too long. So, a touch reluctantly, she handed the phone over to him. He took it, turning around but still remaining in her lap. He hovered a phalange over the answer button as he worked to compose himself. It looked as though it were physically painful for him, but he forced a smile as best he could before giving the screen a tap.
"hey bro." He answered, in a jarringly relaxed tone.
To hear that feigned evenness in his voice again made Toriel realize just how fake it really was. She had grown used to his more genuine side over the day's events and hearing him switch back into his old manner of speaking was disconcerting to say the least. To Papyrus though, it was quite normal, as evident by his cheerful response to his brother's greeting.
"BROTHER! THANK GOODNESS YOU PICKED UP THIS TIME!" The younger skeleton exclaimed joyfully.
He quickly switched his tone to become more serious though, as serious as Papyrus could manage at least.
"IT WAS QUITE INCONSIDERATE OF YOU TO MAKE HANDLE IT FOR YOU BEFORE! I HOPE YOU HAVE LEARNED YOUR LESSON!"
Sans forced a chuckle that was almost believable, swaying a bit and catching himself before leaning back against Toriel's stomach. She carefully wrapped her arms around his middle in turn, ensuring his inebriated state didn't send him to the floor. He shot her a quick, thankful glance before looking back down towards the phone.
"yah sorry bro, that was pretty uncooll of me." He replied, a bit stiffly. "she told me evr'thing though… glad to hear you're havin' a good time."
Toriel could tell he was trying pretty hard to keep his slurring under control. Perhaps if he wasn't so tired he'd be more successful, but as it was, his performance was certainly not his best. Indeed, it seemed it was not enough to fool the ever-vigilant Papyrus.
"SANS, ARE YOU DRUNK?" Papyrus asked in a suspicious tone.
Sans flinched a bit and his strained grin turned a bit sheepish, he'd been caught.
"uh… maybe a liittle?"
"UGH! SANS! I LEAVE FOR ONE DAY AND YOU SPEND IT IN THAT GREASY NIGHTMARE OF A BAR, DRINKING?" Papyrus scolded him, and Toriel could picture the skeleton's disappointed expression.
Sans shrugged, even though Papyrus would not be able to see it.
"it wass a party bro." He replied, still with his light-hearted tone. "the dogi were celebrating the fact they are gonna have pupss, and invited mee out.".
Toriel frowned a bit at that, Sans' casual misleading of his brother not sitting well with her. She conceded that it wasn't a total lie though and explaining the truth of it all would not be wise at this point. Still, his ability to lie with a straight face was concerningly impressive.
"PUPS?! THE DOGI ARE HAVING PUPPIES?!" Papyrus shouted in excitement. "OH THAT'S FANTASTIC NEWS! WOWIE! I CAN'T WAIT TO MEET THEM! I MUST REMEMBER TO CONGRATULATE DOGAMY AND DOGA-"
The younger skeleton cut himself off and then loudly cleared his throat, or at least imitated the sound. When he spoke again it was in a far more collected manner.
"NOW BROTHER, AS GREAT AS THAT IS TO HEAR I AM STILL QUITE CROSS WITH YOU. YOU CLEARLY HAVE NOT SHOWN PROPER RESTRAINT IN YOUR ALCOHOL CONSUMPTION. I KNOW HOW YOU GET WHEN YOU ARE DRUNK. YOU BETTER NOT CAUSE MS. TORIEL ANY TROUBLE! AND GOODNESS SANS, YOU'RE GOING TO BE MISERABLE TOMORROW! HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN HOW BAD YOUR HANGOVERS GET?"
Sans gave another low chuckle, but it sounded far wearier than before.
"yah yahh… I know pap, i'll be fine. dun' worry about it." He replied, in the same rehearsed lines Toriel had heard countless times herself.
Papyrus let out a long sigh, worry and exasperation clear in his voice.
"WHY DO YOU ALWAYS INSIST ON NEVER TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF?" He asked plaintively, and his tone suggested he knew he wouldn't get a straight answer.
Toriel could see Sans' grip on the phone tighten and his false smile faltered a bit. He took a while to reply, and when he did, he used his standard tactic for situations like this. Redirect with jokes.
"ah ya know me bro, I jusst don't got the guts for it." He quipped.
Papyrus groaned loudly, and Toriel could hear the sound of the skeleton's teeth grinding as he set his jaw.
"THAT WAS IMPRESSIVELY TERRIBLE SANS, EVEN FOR YOU." He grumbled in a flat tone.
Sans seemed to relax a bit at his brother's response, false smile returning to a convincing state.
"heh, what caan i say… i'm off my game t'night… yer not the first to mention itt…" He replied, rubbing his forehead as another wave of exhaustion appeared to wash over him.
Sans considered something for a few moments before continuing in a less sarcastic tone.
"listeen bro, you really don't gotta worry okayy? i know i'm messedd up r'now, but i'm in good hands… er paws." He began again, lightly patting one of Toriel's paws as he mentioned her.
Toriel blinked at that, not sure how to react to being brought into this conversation. She decided to remain silent, tilting her head a bit as she listened further.
"tori made sure to comme and get me beforee I went too crazy with the drinkss alright? and you know her, even if i tolld her she didn' have to a million tiimes, there's no way she'll let me sufferr through hangover hell tomorrow alone y'know?"
He trailed off, curling the phalanges of his free hand around her arm. Toriel understood the gesture, accepting it with a small smile. Papyrus seemed to be placated by Sans' response.
"TRUE, IT IS VERY GOOD TO HEAR MS. TORIEL IS KEEPING AN EYE ON YOU." Papyrus responded, relief evident in his voice. "I DEFINITELY HAVE NO IDEA WHERE'D SHE'D GET THE IDEA TO DO SUCH A THING, BUT IT IS VERY COOL AND GREAT OF HER NONETHELESS!"
Toriel had to bite her lip to keep any potential laughter at his statement at bay. Sans gave an open chuckle, though it was lost to a cough after a few seconds. He quickly replied before that could prompt Papyrus to return to fretting over him.
"enough bout' me pap… tell me how you guys are doin'. how wer the s'mores? you guys get a good hotell? those lovebirds been smoochin it up on the beach?" Sans rattled off a handful of questions, clearly hoping Papyrus would latch on to one and focus on it.
The tactic seemed to work, as the younger skeleton's usual enthusiasm returned in earnest. He was off on one of his excited rambles once more.
"THE S'MORES WERE EXCELLENT!" He exclaimed. "I ENDED UP MAKING ENOUGH FOR ALL THE NICE PEOPLE WE MET AT THE BEACH, AND EVEN THE NOT SO NICE PEOPLE! I ALSO I HAD TO MAKE UNDYNE'S FOR HER SINCE SHE KEPT BURNING THEM."
He said the last part a touch quieter, as if trying to ensure the mentioned fish monster did not hear him.
"AS FOR OUR HOTEL, IT IS RATHER COZY INDEED! MY COT IS PLUSH AND COMFORTABLE, PERFECT FOR A FULL 2 HOURS OF SLEEP! I INSISTED THAT UNDYNE AND ALPHYS SHARE THE BIG BED. AND YES, THEY DID KISS… A LOT. ALPHYS FACE TURNED SO RED THAT I FEARED SHE HAD BEEN "SUN-BURNED!" OH! AND THERE IS A POOL WITH A WATERSLIDE! A SLIDE FULL OF WATER! HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF SOMETHING LIKE THAT BROTHER? IT IS GREAT FUN!"
"mmhmm… soundss great pap…really cool." Sans drawled out hoarsely in response, struggling to keep his eye sockets open.
Toriel frowned down at him in sympathy. Clearly his exhaustion was winning the battle, despite his best efforts to fight it. Thankfully Papyrus noticed too, voice mellowing out in concern as he spoke again.
"HMM… BROTHER YOU DON'T SOUND TOO GOOD… ARE YOU SURE YOU ARE OKAY?"
Sans tensed and put his all into evening out his voice again. But his strength was just not there at this point. He could not keep the strain out of his voice no matter how hard he tried.
"yah t-totally bro, jusst a lil buzzed and pretty bone-tired, heh. m' fine"
Papyrus didn't reply for a few moments, but when he did, he used his more serious tone again.
"VERY WELL SANS, BUT! I HAVE DECIDED TO END THIS CONVERSATION FOR TONIGHT. I CANNOT BELIEVE I AM SAYING THIS BUT, I INSIST YOU GO GET SOME SLEEP BROTHER! DESPITE WHAT YOU HAVE SAID, I AM NOT CONVINCED YOU ARE WELL AT THE MOMENT. SLEEP OFF THE DRINKS AND REFLECT ON YOUR ACTIONS CAREFULLY! I WILL CALL AGAIN SOMETIME TOMORROW."
Sans set his jaw as if he were preparing to argue or defend himself, but in the end just couldn't will himself to do it. He sighed quietly and brought the phone closer.
"alright bro, i'll hit the sack for tonigh'. sorry bout' all this. hope you guys have funn tomorrow. say hi to al and undiess for me." He rasped, still putting what little laid back tone he could muster into his words.
Papyrus grumbled at his brother's crass nicknames for his friends, but softened his voice quickly after.
"I WILL BE SURE TO…" He affirmed in a gentle tone. "GOODNIGHT SANS, I LOVE YOU. AND I HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER SOON…"
Sans' false grin softened at the edges, a genuine fondness shimmering in the pale light of his eyes before he eased his sockets shut.
"yah… love ya too paps… sleeep good, k? talk to ya later bro."
Sans was about to hit the button to end the call, when Papyrus spoke up again quite suddenly.
"OH, AND GOODNIGHT TO YOU TOO MS. TORIEL~." He said, with a bit of a suspect tone.
"Goodnight Papyrus." Toriel replied before she could think about what she was doing.
Realization set in immediately and she clamped a paw over her mouth with a squeak, eyes wide. Sans went totally stiff as well. Papyrus responded with a noisy cackle of laughter, sounding rather triumphant.
"NYEH HEH HEH HEH! I KNEW IT! WOWIE! I WIN, UNDYNE! OKAY, BYE FOR NOW!"
There were a few more seconds of Papyrus' clipped laughter before the call ended with a soft musical tone. Both of them sat in stunned silence after that, staring down at the phone with bewildered expressions. Toriel was the first to speak again, lowering her paw from her mouth.
"H-how… How did he know that I was…?" She stammered, feeling her face heat up beneath her fur.
Sans tugged down on his hood a bit, likely to hide the blue color covering his own face again.
"no damn clue…" He grumbled. "sometimess i swear that the integrity that wass put into his soul made him a daamn psychic… but taking betss for something like that? thas' not cool bro."
Toriel, despite her own embarrassment, managed a quiet laugh at that. She gave him a pat on the arm, letting it be a bit of a comforting gesture.
"Oh never mind it." She soothed, carefully taking the phone from his hand and returning it to the purse behind her. "They are only teasing, my friend."
Sans dropped his hands back down with a soft huff of irritation, but finally relaxed back against her again.
"yah yah… whateverr." He mumbled before his raspy voice trailed off into another quiet groan.
Toriel's eyes shimmered with concern, the awkwardness of the moment before forgotten. She leant over him and sought his gaze, gently adjusting her grip on him to get his attention. He blinked in momentary surprise, but looked up at her, those utterly exhausted eyelights of his seeming to be little more than hazy flickers at this point.
"Sans…" She murmured. "I… I must agree with your brother and insist you try to sleep now."
The skeleton's expression tightened, the full level of his fatigue evident on his face. There was a spark of fear there too, the clear reason Sans was fighting so hard to stay awake. It hurt her terribly to see, but she couldn't let it make her back down from this. Though Sans' reply tested her resolve even further.
"tori…i…" He ducked his head and looked away from her, heaving out a sigh. "i jusst… don't know if i can, alright? its… its going to badd. real bad. and…"
He seemed to sink lower, kneading the fabric of her sleeve between his phalanges. She could feel him beginning to shiver, now lacking any strength to repress it.
"i… i don't wan' you to see me liike that…"
His words brought another stab of pain to her soul and she felt a lump forming in her throat. Her own weary state was making it much harder to keep her emotions at bay. She shifted her arms around him in a more realized hug, pressing her cheek against the side of his skull.
"I understand, my friend." She replied softly, once she trusted her voice again. "But you must know I would never think less of you for something like this. It is not your fault. Your wellbeing is what matters most here, and right now you need to rest."
When Sans offered no words in return, she kept on talking, paying attention to the weak pulses of magic emanating from his soul.
"I promise, I shall stay with you no matter what happens. If you do have nightmares, I will be here to help you. I know a thing or two about dealing with them myself."
He still did not respond, but his shivering did relent a bit. After a moment, she felt him shift in her arms and turn back around to return the hug properly. He was so tired at this point that his light grip on her hardly registered as he huddled against her once more. It seemed to Toriel that any fight remaining in him melted away then, her words being the final reassurance that he needed.
A melancholy smile appeared on her face as she grabbed a pillow from beside her and set it against the arm of the couch. She leaned back a bit into it, letting Sans adjust as he wished before pulling the blanket over them once more. Sans settled for pillowing his skull on her shoulder, curled so that his face was hidden against her neck. He pulled in his limbs close to himself but continued to cling to her dress weakly with one hand, even if there was practically no strength behind it. Toriel rubbed at his back in a gentle, rhythmic motion.
"Just try to relax, think of pleasant things, things that bring you peace." Toriel soothed, casting her gaze out the window across the room. "Like the stars on a clear night, the colors of a brilliant sunrise or sunset, the feeling of raindrops falling down on you…"
She paused a moment, considering her next words before she let them leave her.
"All of us here that love you…"
Sans briefly tensed up and she thought he was going to say something. But whatever he potentially intended to say was quickly lost as his exhaustion finally claimed him. He stilled and his breaths evened out, eventually giving way to quiet snoring. His soul's magic calmed as well, the fear she had previously detected disappearing for now. In just a few moments, he had fallen fast asleep.
A shaky sigh of relief left her once she was sure he was out. She thanked the stars he could fall asleep so quickly, unlike her who could very well lie awake for hours if not the whole night before any sleep came. She listened to his soft snores in silence as she found herself alone with her thoughts. It was a strange feeling after everything that had happened that day, to return to something like her nightly musing with so much new weight on her soul. All of his words began flowing back to her, all of the horrors he had relayed flashing through her mind in disjointed fragments.
Gaster, experiments, Asgore, the human souls, human traits, karmic retribution, gaster blasters, shattered souls across space and time… prototypes and final weapons.
Toriel had to remind herself to breathe as she went over it all, the sheer magnitude of it shaking her to her core. And they had only just scratched the surface, her friend's earlier devastating reaction to her words stood as testament to that. What would he tell her next? Would it all be this horrible? This shocking? She could only guess based off her current knowledge, and her imagination painted a bleak and haunting picture indeed.
A subtle movement from Sans brought her attention back to him, a small spark of worry flaring up in her soul. Surely he wasn't having a nightmare already? Thankfully he went still again and Toriel relaxed, running a paw down the length of his back again.
The action brought back the memory of her own heedless statement, the one that had sent him into a despair worthy of drowning in alcohol over.
It is not as though I am just suddenly going to forget everything you have told me, right?
Even now, her mind scrambled to try and find what is was about it that had hurt him so badly. She had never seen him look so broken as he had when she had said those dreaded words. He had assured her they'd get to the part of his story that explained his behavior eventually, but that didn't stop her from fretting over it regardless. After all, there was no telling if he'd stay true to that vow once he sobered up. For now, she only had her own theories to go off of.
The only sense she could make of it was that, for some reason, he believed she would forget everything he'd told her. This was backed up by how determined he had seemed to get through the whole of his story in one day, perhaps fearing she would forget parts in between. It didn't seem to be a belief born out of a negative outlook towards her ability to retain what she'd heard. Indeed, most people would find something as shocking of all this near impossible to forget. No, Sans' fears seemed directed towards something else… something beyond either of their control.
Despite still not coming up with any solid explanations, an idea did spring to her mind then. Slowly and ever-so carefully as to not disturb her friend, she reached into her purse beside her and dug out her diary and a snail patterned pencil. Still making sure he was secure in her arms, she propped open the notepad with one paw and began writing with the other. If he truly had some reason to fear she would forget, then she would take the steps she could to keep that from happening.
Instead of filling the page with puns or accounts of the day's events as she usually would, she covered it margin to margin in notes on her friend's account of his past so far. She wrote down every detail she could think of, drawing arrows to show the flow of events and even small, albeit very mediocre, drawings where she found them useful. Now, even if she somehow did forget everything, it was all here in her diary for her to look over again. The worn nature of the notebook showed how often she thumbed through it, there was no way she'd miss this sudden incredibly word dense page.
As a final measure, she wrote a single phrase with larger strokes in a spot at the top of the page she'd left intentionally blank.
"Do Not Forget"
She took out her red marker and circled the phrase a few times, only furthering its eye-catching nature. She laid her pencil and red marker against the spiral spine on that page as well. Satisfied, she gently closed the diary and put it back in her purse, returning her focus to the skeleton in her arms.
He was still sleeping soundly, giving no signs of any dark dreams disturbing his slumber. It gave her a faint glimmer of hope that he may sleep peacefully through the night after all. Her jaws parted in a large yawn, a sign of her own exhaustion weighing down on her. She had intended to stay awake as long as she could to watch over him, but that was proving more and more difficult by the moment.
She usually struggled to sleep because of the endless worrying night allowed, with no distractions to keep her mind occupied. Now though, the sound of Sans' snoring was making it harder and harder to keep her eyes open. She hadn't slept so close to another monster in nearly a century… letting the sound of the other's breathing soothe her as well as any lullaby. Feeling the gentle pulses of magic from the other's nearby soul comfortingly mix with her own...
She shook herself out of those thoughts, the memories that had been associated with them making her feel vaguely ill. Her soul felt as though it tightened within her at the sudden harsh mix of emotions. No, she did not want to think about Asgore or any of those times before. That part of her life now felt as though it existed in a dark haze within her mind. Remembering how happy she'd been then, before the incident and then the years and years of isolation, was just too painful. She tightened her grip on Sans, closing her eyes as she tried to banish it all back to the shadowy corners of her mind.
She had to question though, why did she keep thinking about Asgore when thinking about Sans? Her soul told her she knew the reason, but she couldn't face it, not now. It was too much to handle on top of everything else. Besides, focusing on that feeling right now was selfish. Her friend was suffering and needed her help, that was what was important. If he weren't in such a harrowing situation at the moment, none of this would be happening. She couldn't lose sight of that.
Despite all her internal warring with herself, her soul still warmed inside her at the comforting closeness between them. That warmth was what let her own weariness finally overcome her and send her drifting off to sleep as well. She unknowingly rested her head against his hooded skull as she did, eyes falling shut. Her last thought before succumbing completely was a silent prayer that Sans would be able to rest peacefully as long as he needed.
But if she had picked up on anything during her friend's story, it was that Sans had led a terribly unfair life. The universe clearly had little will to show him much kindness, and it seemed that that was to remain true no matter her wishes. It was as though her friend's past was looming over them like some dark shadowy beast, casually waiting to strike at its own leisure.
And strike it did, for some time later, deep into the dead of night, Toriel was awoken by a chilling, muffled scream.
