Hours later, Toriel was the first to wake, but she remained still, eyes closed and lost in her thoughts for some time. Her dreams had been odd. Not unpleasant, but odd. Usually her sleep was dreamless, but this time there had been… something. It was already fading from the moment she'd stirred from sleep, but small flashes of it remained. She'd been a child again, sitting in a field of golden flowers beside her family's castle on the surface with three others. Asgore's younger self had been there, back then known to her as "Princey", pouting as she tried to coerce him into making flower crowns with her. One of the others in the group was a prince as well, but a very different sort. Prince Adean, prince of humans had been by her side as well.
They had been much more into the activity, weaving the golden flowers into rings far more adeptly than her. In the dream, they had stood up at one point to try and place one of the crowns on Asgore's head, resulting in a humorous scuffle. Back then, Asgore had been a much haughtier monster, leaving things like flower crowns to be scoffed at as undignified. Adean on the other hand, had been quiet yet mischievous, happily taking part in Toriel's pranks whenever they visited. An image from later in the dream stood out in her mind. The human prince standing with their back to her, poncho flapping lightly in the breeze as they gazed at the distant shape of Mt. Ebott.
The rest of it was mostly a haze, but beyond the images of her former friend, later turned traitor, there was one other element that stood out. The third person who'd been in the dream with her. Asgore and Adean were faces she knew well and recognized instantly, but this other, they were just… odd. In the dream, she had looked over at them, about to ask how their own flower crown was coming along, but had frozen up at the sight of them.
They were a monster surely, but she only could tell that from the feelings of their nearby soul. Looking upon them… yielded nothing. Perhaps she caught the slightest glimpse of a hand anxiously fumbling with the flowers, or the glint of the sun shining off a rounded white head. But even that was uncertain, because looking upon this monster was like looking into an abyss, every moment her eyes had lingered on them it felt as though all her senses were being pulled away. They were there… but also not. Something yet nothing.
In some way, Toriel had felt as though she knew them. Their presence had been familiar, but the strange wrongness of their being there had overpowered the majority of those thoughts. Somehow, a name had formed on her lips and she was about to speak it when the whole world seemed to fracture and stutter. It was this that had stirred her from sleep, leaving her soul feeling cold within her as she woke. Now she was left to ponder, how much of that dream had been a conjured-up fantasy and how much of it was part of a memory?
Toriel shook herself from her musing as more of the dream faded, deciding not to dwell on it any more. Focusing on the past could wait, right now she needed to address the present. Everything from the previous night was flooding back, almost making her want to curl up and go back to sleep if only to escape from it all. She couldn't do that though, with wakefulness came her worry and with her worry came wakefulness. Fretful thoughts and anxieties had already crept back in, forcing her mind back into full awareness.
She yawned before beginning to shift with the intent of sitting up, when something, or rather, someone stopped her. In all her absent rumination, she had nearly forgotten about that particular thing that had happened during the night's storm. Her eyes finally opened fully and she took in her current situation, feeling her face heating up beneath her fur.
Sans was still fast asleep, snuggled up against her chest and continually lightly gripping at the fabric of her nightgown. She couldn't see his face, but his soft, somewhat muffled snores floated up to her, vibrating faintly against her neck. Toriel's large arms were wrapped snugly around him, and at some point in her sleep, she had folded and pulled her legs up so that she was essentially curled around him. Her soul fluttered nervously within her, both from self-consciousness and that feeling returning in a rush. The conflicting emotions made her want to let go and pull away to save face, but she stayed still for the moment.
Her friend was sleeping so peacefully, far more so than he had when they had first returned home from Grillby's. His soul was calm and the pulses of magic from it felt stable. This brought warmth to her own soul, as well as a hopeful thought. Perhaps he hadn't been disturbed by nightmares again and had managed to rest the whole night… or the whole morning. She blinked, realizing just how bright the room was. They had fallen asleep again around dawn, meaning it was later in the day now, far later than she usually slept.
Perhaps this wasn't such an encouraging sign after all then, since Sans usually could sleep okay in short bursts once the sun was up. Still, after everything that had happened, she was incredibly relieved to see him getting some proper rest. She really didn't want to wake him, even though she knew she should be getting up and addressing the events of the night prior. She needed to check her phone to see if Frisk or Papyrus had left any messages, she needed to go clean up the mess they'd left in the living room, she needed to see if Asgore was still…
She suppressed a shudder. Well, perhaps she could wait a little longer to leave the room at least. Checking up on the others would be her priority for now. She lifted her head a bit and eyed her purse on the side table beside the bed. There was no way she could reach out and grab it in her current position, she'd have to move. Accepting that, she slowly and reluctantly tried to detach herself from her friend's embrace. As she pulled her arms away though, something must have registered in him even in sleep, because his grip on her tightened and he held firm. Toriel blinked in response, pausing uncertainly. Clearly her friend had no intention of letting go, even if it was only the will of his unconscious mind. His reaction somehow prompted the softest of chuckles from her, finding the situation a touch sad, somewhat amusing and, admittedly, a little cute.
Still, she had to get up and she didn't want to wake him or even potentially upset him by pulling away, so she'd just have to make do. Ever so carefully, she slipped an arm around him again, gently lifting him and beginning to ease herself into a slightly more upright position as she did so. She laid him on her stomach and rested his skull against her shoulder, keeping one arm securely looped around him. Thankfully, he did not stir, settling into the new position easily and loosening his grip again in contentment.
Toriel took a moment to take in and enjoy the warm feelings that came with being close to him. She was a naturally affectionate monster and she had not realized how much she had missed having someone to snuggle up with in this way. Frisk gave her no shortage of hugs and was cuddly as could be in general, but this was different and she knew it. The only other monster she'd ever held this way was potentially outside her room in the house right at that moment.
She abruptly broke from those thought, harshly reminding herself not to lose sight of the reality of the situation. They had only been driven to share her bed because of their mutual need for comfort after all that had happened. That was it. She needed to stop being so selfish with her thoughts, none of this was about her confused feelings, no matter how mutual they may or may not be. Now was not the time to worry about any of that.
Needing the distraction, she reached over and dug her phone from her purse. The first thing she checked was the time. 1:30pm. She grimaced a bit at that, she'd certainly be paying the price from this ruining of her sleep schedule come Monday. As she suspected, she was also greeted with a screen full of text messages and a few pictures she'd been sent as well. She thanked the stars once she confirmed none were urgent, letting out a sigh of relief and beginning to thumb through the pictures in a casual manner.
As requested, Frisk had sent her a picture of them and Kid happily posing together in their matching striped ponchos. Flowey was in the picture as well, his pot being held by Frisk as he scowled in irritation at the two other children. There was a message below it, prompting a gentle smile to form on her face.
From: Frisk -_-
Hi Mom! Kid opened their present from me today! They love it! :D They say thank you to you too for making them. We are going to wear them today and to school on Monday. Text you later, we are going to go swimming! Love you!
Toriel kept up the smile as she typed out a simple reply and sent it back, wishing them well and commenting on how adorable they both looked in their matching outfits. Then she looked through the pictures from Papyrus, of which there were quite a lot, sent to both hers and Sans' phone it seemed. One showed the skeleton sitting on an inflatable raft while Undyne swam underneath. The next displayed the outcome of the situation, with the fish monster bursting out from under the water and flinging the raft, and Papyrus, high into the air. Papyrus left no comment on these pictures but had added an irritated looking emoji face under it. (:/)
The next set showed some candid shots of Undyne and Alphys kissing and nuzzling one another while sitting on the boardwalk. The comment from Papyrus indicated he'd taken them in secret, complete with a winky face emoji. (;D) The rest were snapshots of the three doing various activities, like burying Papyrus in the sand, sunbathing with sunglasses on, eating smores by a campfire on the sand, posing in front of a big statue of a fish… only to have Undyne suplexing said statue in the next shot. It certainly seemed that they were having a good time.
The final thing he'd sent was just a normal text message, only an hour or so ago. She happily opened it, but felt her blush returning as her eyes ran over the words. She thanked the stars that it had only been sent to her.
From: Papyrus :D
THAT WAS A CRAZY STORM LAST NIGHT! WOWIE! HOPE YOU BOTH STILL SLEPT OKAY! THANKS AGAIN FOR LOOKING AFTER MY BROTHER, SORRY FOR HIS BEHAVIOR, I HOPE HE APOLOGIZED. THOUGH I FEEL FROM OUR CALL LAST NIGHT YOU TOOK MY ADVICE ON GIVING HIM LOTS OF HUGS! (AUDIBLE WINK) ;D I AM SORRY TO TELL YOU… HE CAN'T KISS YOU BACK. NYEH HEH HEH! HOPE HE IS FEELING BETTER TODAY! CALL YOU BOTH LATER!
Toriel blinked, blush intensifying until it turned the tips of her ears red. With her current situation and all the trouble she'd just gone to to stop thinking about that, she once again felt as though the heavens were looking down at her and laughing. Sans nuzzling a bit closer in his sleep in that moment only made it worse. It took a lot of willpower to get herself to focus again.
When she was able to finally gain control over her flustered reaction, she tapped out a reply with a claw. She thanked him for the pictures and noted that she hoped they all had fun, also reassuring him Sans was doing better, not wanting to lie completely… As for reacting to that last part, she only acknowledged it with an emoji that looked very much like Frisk's usual face. ( -_- ) What else could she say to that? Making a show of denial would only fuel the fire more. It was clear her little slip up last night wasn't going to be forgotten by Papyrus or the others anytime soon. She sent the reply with a defeated sigh, cheeks still feeling warm.
She was about to shut the phone off for a while, when she noticed she'd still left one message unread. It was from Undyne.
From: Undyne ( o3o)
Heard about what happened last night. Asgore called from your house phone, he tried to play it off but he sounded pretty upset. Y'know, it would mean a lot to him if you let him hang out at your place for the rest of the weekend. I wanted him to come with us but he didn't want to leave before his new fancy patch of dahlias bloomed… frickin softie. I know he's lonely though, I hate leaving him at the house by himself. I know you got liked… freaked out or something last night and I'm sorry about that. But just think about it, alright? It might be good for the both of you to talk things out for once.
The words made caused an uneasy chill to return to her soul. The fish monster's request was well meaning enough, but that didn't stop it from making her feel vaguely sick. No, she couldn't do that. She just couldn't. After last night, she wasn't sure she could stand to face him for a while. Having him stay the whole weekend in this situation would destroy her already fragile nerves. She just couldn't handle it, not now. Besides, she had other things that required her attention far more to deal with.
Despite her conviction, she still felt raw, painful guilt well up inside her, but she settled on her decision. If it came down to it, she could deal with the fish monster's inevitable anger later. She left the message with no reply, shutting off the phone for now and putting it back in her purse.
After letting her emotions settle back down for a while and Sans still showed no signs of waking up, she decided to spend some time adding to her page of notes in her diary. There were a fair few new things to add. The details he'd revealed about the experiment his nightmare had been about, the cracks in and poor state of his soul, the questions hinting at the terrible core reason for his despair that he had not gotten to speak about. With that part in particular, she purposely left a large space open below it for, saving it for when she finally learned the truth behind it. She was both glad and nervous that that would likely be happening very soon.
Once finished, she shut the diary and put it away, leaning back into the pillows behind her with another soft sigh. She remained like that, staring dully up at the ceiling fan and running a paw gently up and down Sans' back as she tried to sort through her thoughts. After a while of this though, Sans began to finally stir. He shifted slightly and lifted his skull, looking around in a confused, sleepy haze. He sat back a bit, probably in an attempt to figure out what, or in this case, who, he was sitting on. As he did, their gazes met and realization began to set in on his face.
His sockets widened and his breath caught with a quiet sound before, like a mirror for her own reaction, his cheekbones flushed a bright cyan color. He began to sweat a bit, looking terribly nervous as he appeared to try to find something to say, but his drowsy mind had clearly not caught up with him yet. Toriel giggled softly, deciding to spare him and break the silence herself.
"Good afternoon lazybones." She teased, adjusting a bit to a more comfortable position.
He blinked a few times and let out a yawn before responding back, managing to relax a bit.
"heh, a-afternoon tori… um…" He averted his droopy sockets, grin widening nervously. "forgot that i slept in here heh heh... no wonder i thought my bed was suspiciously cozy."
Despite his nerves, he made no move to get off of her and she had no mind to make him. She was glad to see he was getting comfortable with the idea of being close with her like this, even if it still left him quite flustered most of the time. It seemed that deep down, he really enjoyed it as much as she did, even if he would not be as quick to admit it. Her sleepy smile widened, and she raised a brow at him.
"Well your own bed might not be so uncomfortable if you didn't shove your dirty laundry beneath the mattress. Or actually properly put the sheets on it." She chided in a playful tone.
His grin turned sheepish and he shrugged a bit.
"eh, point taken i guess."
His expression sobered up a little after that as it seemed that the events from the previous night were coming back to him. His eyelights dulled slightly as he moved to try and put his hands in his pockets, but realized he wasn't wearing his hoodie. He settled for crossing his arms tightly in front of him with a soft sigh, suddenly looking a touch self-conscious. Toriel gently pulled him a little closer with a warm smile, encouraging him to lean against her. She sensed it was what he wanted, but did not have the nerve to ask for. That very much seemed to be a trend with them.
Sans never asked for the comfort she offered him. If she didn't move to invite him in, he would never ask no matter how much he may want it, or how much it would help. While she was quite the opposite, perhaps being too willing to give and accept physical comfort to remedy any situation. She supposed this would get better for him in time, he was already putting a lot of trust in her, perhaps he'd be ready to more openly ask her for reassurance once they got through this. Until then, she'd make an effort to be ready to offer it to him should he need it.
He settled against her gratefully, relaxing much more once she slipped her arms around him again. He was quiet for a bit before letting out a sleepy, humorless chuckle.
"so… last night was pretty intense huh?"
She frowned, then nodded weakly.
"Yes… it certainly was."
That was all she could say, finding the idea of recounting any of the specifics pointless at this point. She decided to change the subject for the moment, wanting to focus her attention back on her friend's wellbeing.
"How are you feeling Sans? Did you have any more nightmares?" She asked.
He tensed a bit, but then slowly conceded with a nod.
"i'm doing okay t, just a lil bit of a headache still. no biggee. and well… yah i kind of did. it wasn't anything terrible, didn't even really wake me up… it was just… disturbing and weird." He admitted, tapping his phalanges against her arm.
Toriel blinked, the few bits of her own dream she could recall flashing back to her.
"I actually had an odd dream as well." She replied, furrowing her brows. "Though I can scarcely remember any of it…"
He met her words with another soft, bitter laugh.
"heh, what i wouldn't give to forget my nightmares when i wake up. would sure make things a helluva lot easier." He said in a weary voice, though she didn't miss the bit of pain in it.
His words made her soul clench tightly with sympathy. Without thinking, she leaned down and gave his cheekbone a gentle nuzzle. He stiffened for a moment, but then allowed it, going a little blue in the face again. It did seem to ease some of the tension from him, so she did her best not to let her surprise at her own boldness overwhelm her.
"I am so sorry, my friend." She soothed, voice warm. "Do you wish to talk about it?"
She felt him clench and unclench his phalanges against her arm, eventually going on in a softer voice.
"it… it would be really hard to explain without me telling you about the… y'know…" He trailed off, clearly holding back a specific word in particular.
Toriel nodded with understanding, her grip on him tightening ever so slightly.
"I see, alright." She responded, before drawing in a deep breath to mentally prepare herself for what she planned to say next. "Are you… still ready to talk about… that?"
The tension in his body returned and Toriel felt his soul begin to give off subtle waves of fear. He stayed silent for a what felt like a very long time before he nodded.
"yah… i… i am." He answered softly, before straightening up a bit and flashing her a sheepish grin. His mood and tone abruptly shifted then back to his usual laid-back demeanor.
"but uh… before we do that. sorry but… i'm so freaking hungry. i could eat a skele-ton of burg right about now. wanna go to grillby's?"
She blinked, surprised by his sudden shift in tone, but managing a small smile back at him, sympathetic to his plight. Now that he mentioned it, she felt her own soul giving off hunger pangs. Seems that toast with snails she had had earlier had only sustained her so long. It would certainly do them little good to discuss something so weighty without properly restoring their magic levels first.
"Oh! that is right, you have not eaten since lunch yesterday and even then… gosh. I agree, we should both have a good meal before we go forward with this… But…"
She trailed off and wagged a finger disapprovingly.
"Not Grillby's, you were just there last night and I promised your brother I would get you to eat something besides greasy fast food."
Sans feigned disappointment, perhaps purposely overplayed a bit for comedic effect.
"aww come on tori… i'm starving… and i didn't even eat anything last time i was there." he protested, though something in his voice told her he knew he wasn't going to convince her.
He tapped two phalanges together nervously as he went on.
"plus… i dunno. i thought we could go, like, together this time?"
There was an odd inflection behind those words, something that caused him to blush lightly once more and avert his eyelights a bit. Her expression must have given away her surprise because he quickly rushed to amend his statement, now sweating quite a lot.
"eh, uh, i-i mean y-y'know everyone there would r-really like to get to know ya! l-l-like the dogi yesterday! you haven't officially m-met most of the grillby's crew right? i-it might be fun… heh heh heh…"
Toriel did her best to suppress her laughter at his expense, covering her muzzle with a paw as she snorted into it. She knew it was a little mean to laugh, but she found she just couldn't help it. Quickly though, she composed herself and faced him again with a wide smile.
"It does sound fun, and another day, perhaps tomorrow, I would be happy to go with you." She assured him, scarlet eyes twinkling.
She projected a somewhat stern expression back on to her face though, not backing down from her earlier statement.
"But not today, alright? I will prepare us something. I have lots of ingredients here that I need to use while they are still fresh. Do you have any requests, my friend?"
He met her question with a weak smile of defeat, followed by one that was a bit more genuine as he considered her question.
"alright, you win. and well uh… gee, everything you make is great tori, you know that. and i'm not really picky about food. so why don't you just… surprise me?"
Toriel accepted with a nod and a pleased "Very well" before she began to move to get up. She abruptly paused though as her eyes fell on the door and she remembered just who might be out there waiting for her. A chill ran down her spine just at the thought of facing him again and her soul's magic churned with conflicting emotion. Sans clearly noticed her sudden tenseness and lightly touched her arm to get her attention.
"hey…uh want me to check and see if ol fluffybuns is still here?" He asked, tone still laid back but tinged with understanding.
Her throat tightened with embarrassment, hating that her unease was so plainly visible. But there was no point in denying it now. She met his gaze nervously.
"W-well… if… If you would not mind…" She said finally, eyes dulling a bit.
Sans flashed her a reassuring smile before reaching up and giving her a pat on the muzzle with his bony hand.
"no prob tori, i nose it'll make things easier for ya."
She scrunched her short snout a bit in response, puzzled but unable to keep the pun from drawing a smile to her face. A light giggle escaped her and she quietly thanked him before he promptly vanished in a bright flash. Once alone, her long ears twitched slightly as she listened for any sign of noise in the house outside her room. Instinctively, she anticipated hearing the low rumble of Asgore's voice, perhaps reacting to Sans' sudden appearance, but it never came. The only sounds she could hear were the whir of the fan above her and the soft twittering of birds outside.
About a minute or so later, Sans reappeared on the bed beside her, landing skillfully on his feet. She looked over at him, expectantly, but trying to keep the anxiety off of her face. The skeleton's relaxed expression made her feel a little better, but there was still a hint of something else in his eyelights that kept her on edge.
"the king's outta the castle." Sans announced with a grin, shooting her a wink.
When she looked at him in mild confusion, he cleared his metaphorical throat and clarified with a more apologetic smile.
"ah, i mean he's gone. he left. heh heh."
The hint of whatever she'd glimpse in the light of his eyes intensified then, revealing itself to be a touch of guilt, maybe even pity.
"he left a note on the table, lotsa apologizing and all, heh. it also looks like he kinda cleaned the whole place, especially the living room. and he put some fresh flowers in all the vases, took out the trash, even cleaned out the fireplace. Its looking… pretty nice out there."
Toriel groaned deeply in response to his words, putting her face in her paws. Exasperation, frustration and guilt pricked sharply at her soul. Of course, of course Asgore had went to such extremes to apologize for what had happened. Why would she expect anything less? He always acted this way. But his genuine attempts to make her feel better always just increased her guilt over everything. At least he was gone now and she didn't have worry about having to speak with him face to face for a while. She let out a sigh and dropped her paws back into her lap.
"You must think me such a bitter old thing." She said to Sans with a sad smile.
The skeleton shook his head, grin turning more into a grimace. He hesitantly laid a hand on her arm again, unable to reach up to place it on her shoulder without it looking gratuitous.
"nah, tori its not exactly a simple situation." He said sympathetically. "i don't think you really hate the guy or want things to be this rough between you two. i don't even think its really your fault… i think you have uh… well… d-don't take this the wrong way but… it seems to me you have like… ptsd? kinda?"
His tone was uncertain as he said that last part and Toriel couldn't help but blink at him with wide eyes. His words brought all kinds of feelings to her soul, threatening to bubble up and overwhelm her. But she managed to stay calm and keep her gaze locked with his, tilting her head a bit as she waited for him to go on.
"i'm no expert on this stuff by any means, of course." He continued, waving his hands a bit in a dismissive manner. "but… i know what it looks like from uh, well… personal experience, heh."
His expression shifted to become a touch serious and he tapped a phalange against the side of his skull in a deliberate manner.
"it seems like maybe your mind connects your… well… trauma about what happened to your kids to fluffybuns. for uh, understandable reasons of course… so like… even though things are better between you two now, even though you're trying to reconcile with it all… your mind uh… can't let go of what happened and that overpowers everything else when you are around him. that's what uh… i can gather at least."
She blinked again, slowly, as she attempted to digest his words. It… did make sense. She wasn't a fool, she knew she had problems… she knew she wasn't mentally healthy. She hadn't been for a long, long time. But still, hearing it laid out like that by someone else was… troubling. Still, almost subconsciously, she nodded.
"You are probably right…" She sighed, rubbing her forehead anxiously. "And I suppose… you would understand that…"
Sans ducked his head a bit, eyelights averting from her anxiously. "yah…"
"Who is it for you?" She asked, before she could think about it.
He flinched a bit, taking a small step back. He steadied himself quickly though, dredging up a weak grin.
"wh-whaddya mean?" He stammered.
Toriel hesitated, sad to see his harsh reaction, but deciding she needed to press the question.
"You said you know from experience… so who is it that causes your um… PTSD to flare up?"
His eyelights flickered as if about to go out, but it seemed that he was able to keep them faintly lit through willpower. For a while, he stood eerily still, before slowly lifting a hand up and gripping at his shirt over his chest. There was a terrible amount of fear and even… guilt? shimmering in the lights of his eyes.
"i…" his voice came out as a croak, but he forced some strength back into it. "i d-don't think i can tell you that just yet… i… you'd be…"
He trailed off before something clicked and he seemed to become aware of his unconscious actions. He quickly dropped his hand back down to his side and managed a wider grin. The tension in his body waned as he waved a hand dismissively.
"we'll get to that later, heh. d-don't worry bout it. weren't we gonna go eat before we got into that again anyway?" He asked, not waiting for an answer as he hopped down from the bed.
"c-come on, i'll meet'cha in the kitchen." He said over his shoulder as he hurried to the door and left the room just as quickly.
Toriel stared after him for a few moments, expression empty. She knew. Her question before had been somewhat pointless, and his reaction only convinced her further of what she already had figured out. She knew who it was that triggered a similar panic for him, even if he did a far better job of hiding it. Or rather, she knew the two of them who did. She didn't understand why or how it could be the case. But she knew. The signs had been there all along, now they couldn't be ignored.
Doing her best to push back those thoughts and the feelings the came with them for the moment, she slowly rose from the bed and began to follow after Sans. Once they got to discussing whatever it was that caused the core of his own trauma, she'd perhaps get to understand the burning question of why in regard to this.
As she headed through the living room towards the kitchen, she saw that Sans had been right about Asgore cleaning up the place. It looked as though everything had been dusted, polished, swept, vacuumed or whatever was appropriate for each given item. The fireplace was indeed totally emptied of ash and thoroughly cleaned, the glass from the fallen cup was gone and the blanket from the couch was neatly folded on the armchair. The fresh scent of flowers also drew her attention to the vibrantly colored floral arrangements that he'd placed in every vase. It was all nearly excessively nice.
Even the waste basket that had been, well, used, was back in its original corner with a fresh trashbag inside. That in particular made her grimace a bit in vague sympathy for her ex-husband, wondering what thoughts had been going through his head when he'd discovered that. She prayed he didn't suspect it was her who had been sick, surely he'd worry himself into oblivion if that were the case. All this kindness from him made her soul twist with dread and guilt, even though she thoroughly wished it didn't.
She entered the kitchen to see it was the same case there, thoroughly cleaned to the point it looked like a room for an open house rather than a lived-in space. And sure enough, there was a note on the table beneath the vase in the center, a vase that was also positively brimming with colorful flowers of many sorts. She heaved out a sigh, deciding she was not quite ready to read it. Instead, she looked over at Sans who was by the window at the far end of the room. He was looking at something on the windowsill, a slightly perplexed look on his face.
"huh…" He murmured in a confused tone, just loud enough to hear.
"What is it?" She asked, walking over to stand behind him.
He flinched just a bit in surprise at her sudden question, before working up a smile again and pointing at the object sitting on the windowsill.
"fluffybuns even fed my pet rock…" He said, in amazed amusement. "how the hell did he know to do that?"
She looked and indeed, the small rock sitting atop a plate on the windowsill was covered in a fresh layer of sprinkles. It was usually something Papyrus took care of, as Sans, lazy as he was, was prone to neglect the task otherwise. She'd never seen the rock move or show any signs of life, but the sprinkles always vanished mysteriously whenever she wasn't looking. If it was a monster or another being of some sort, she didn't know. Asgore's apparent knowledge on the rock's needs was just as much a mystery to her.
She gave him a helpless shrug in response and they both stared at the rock in mild confusion until Sans turned back around to face her. His nervousness was still present in the soft light of his eyes, but his weak smile stayed in place. He rubbed the back as he skull as he addressed her again.
"so uh… want me to help with whatever it is you're making?" He asked. "i'd… feel kinda bad just sitting here while you did this on my behalf."
The words brought a small smile back to Toriel's face and a light giggle escaped her.
"You can help if you would like to my friend, but really, you know I do not mind." She replied as she walked over to the counter and fetched her apron off of the oven handle.
After putting it on, she went to the fridge and began pulling out a few things, already formulating a plan for what she had in mind.
"I love making meals for others, to me it is one of the greatest joys. Seeing someone smile and enjoy something you have created is a feeling like no other."
Sans approached hesitantly, watching her now with a softer, fonder expression.
"heh i getcha. it is pretty fun when we bake together. i never thought i'd ever be good at anything like that." He said, smile taking on a more genuine look.
The warmth in his tone prompted her to turn to him again with a stronger smile of her own, gathering all the ingredients she'd fetched from the fridge into her arms.
"You have done wonderfully with it Sans." She said, quick to praise him. "You have improved so much since your first attempt back in the Underground. It is so very nice to have a baking partner. I feel you and I could conquer any dessert together."
Sans blushed lightly at the compliment, beginning to become sweaty and looking as though he wished he had his hoodie on to retreat into. Flustered as he was, she could tell he was grateful for her words. The warmth in his eyelights grew and gave them a bit of a happy shimmer.
"gee tori… i'm still nowhere near your level, but thanks heh." He replied, scratching idly at his cheekbone with a phalange. "ya know a week or so ago when everyone tried that cobbler i made and thought for sure it was one of yours? that uh, was pretty cool. or rather, pretty sweet."
The pun caused a quiet peal of laughter to escape her as she set everything from the fridge on the counter. She responded once she managed to compose herself again, grabbing the rest of the essentials for her work from the other cabinets as she did so.
"It was berry delicious indeed my friend, and I am glad you had fun making it." She quipped. "Working on meals like this might be a bit different, but I am sure you would still enjoy it if you wish to learn."
The skeleton seemed to consider that for a moment, then stepped over to stand at her side, grabbing his own apron off the oven handle.
"sure, why not?" He said, slipping it on and tying the string behind his back. "what are we making t?"
She felt her smile grow even wider, and her soul warmed within her. In that moment, she was able to forget all the stress of the day before, as well as the new worries weighing on her soul.
"It should not be too out of your comfort zone." She said, reaching up to grab one last thing from a shelf above, a pie tin.
"We are going to make an old family recipe, something my father liked to make me during the cold months or whenever I just needed some comfort food. It is our take on chicken pot pie, or as he liked to call it, dinner pie."
For the next hour or so, the two worked together to create the dish, amiably chatting and joking with each other all the while. It was a welcome return to a usual shared pastime that they both sorely needed. Toriel showed him how to properly boil the meat and vegetables, then simmer the spices, butter and onions in a saucepan. He became adept with it quickly, as she expected he would, making the task go by much smoother than if she was doing it all herself. They also both worked in tandem to create the crust, something the two of them had made many times before. Overall, it felt like they had finished preparing, got it into the oven and had set their finished work on the table in record time.
It had turned out beautifully, the smell and visual appearance just as she remembered. Golden brown with wisps of steam seeping through the holes in the covering layer of crust. The few minutes it took for it to cool felt far longer than all the time they'd spent making it. When they finally each got a slice on their plates and sat at the table, she found herself forgoing digging in, despite her insistent hunger. She watched her friend take his first bite instead, anxious to see what he thought.
He eagerly bit into a large forkful and chewed it thoughtfully. His eyelights brightened in response and, for a moment, she swore they almost took on a star-like shape.
"wow this is… really great tori." He mumbled around his mouthful of food.
He was quick to stab some more onto his utensil for an even bigger bite, only pausing to add some ketchup on top beforehand.
Toriel chuckled at the sight, gathering a much more reasonable portion on her own fork.
"I am so happy you like it, my friend. We will surely have make it more often." She said with a smile, before taking a bite of the pie herself.
Sans was right, it had turned out just perfect. She savored the nostalgic taste on her tongue until it dissipated into magic. Her soul responded warmly, and she quickly began to feel a lot better. She eyed her friend again as he polished off the rest of the slice on his plate and promptly cut himself another.
"Goodness, it isn't going anywhere you know. You eat like a greedy little goblin." She teased, making a bit of a show of taking another small, neat bite for herself.
His grin widened at the comment as he took another large bite, chewing a bit before responding.
"what can i say?" He replied with a shrug. "I just can't help goblin up your food."
She had to fight hard not to laugh with her mouth full, covering her snout with a paw and snorting.
"Oh stop, y-you are going to make me choke or something." She said through giggles once she could manage it.
The two of them both succumbed to laughter after that and they enjoyed the rest of the meal maintaining that same jovial atmosphere. It was just so nice, so natural and it made her feel so happy. She had not felt this happy and free of her worries in a long time. Which only made it harder for her when her eyes fell upon the note under the vase again, after the two of them had eaten their fill. Her fretful mind made her want to just ignore it further, or even tear it up and throw it away. But she couldn't, for better or worse, she just wasn't that type of monster.
As she reluctantly reached over and picked up the note, Sans leaned back in his chair and lazily picked at a piece of celery stuck between his teeth with his fork. He paused though when he saw what she was doing, and she could feel his concerned gaze on her as she began to read. It was elegantly written and very, very long. The contents were about what she expected. Endless apologies, touches of self-loathing, deep and sincere reassurances and of course, the insistence that the cleaning of the house was the least he could do to make up for his actions. The final part however stood out to her and made her paws tremble a bit as her eyes went over the words.
Please know Toriel, for what it's worth, I understand. The only thing I wish is to see you happy again. You deserve it. And from what I've seen, I think you may have found that happiness indeed. If you ever wish to talk though, about any of it… anything. I will always be here for you. Thank you again for your hospitality. Please take care and I hope you both get to feeling better soon.
Asgore
Her claws curled slightly into the paper as confused emotions gripped her. It wasn't until Sans spoke up again that she was able to snap herself back into reality.
"pretty heavy stuff, huh?" The skeleton asked, cautiously.
She blinked, shaking herself out of her stupor and setting the note down again, face down. She cleared her throat before replying, willing strength into her voice.
"Yes… Though that is not much of a surprise… especially with him." She murmured.
Facing him again, she managed a small smile.
"Never mind it, I will… try and call later to rectify things…"
Whether she'd stay true to that statement or not was up in the air. For the moment though, the emotions brought forth by the note had reminded her of what the two of them still needed to do. She slowly stood from her chair and gathered the leftovers of their meal to take to the fridge. Oddly without prompting, Sans carried the dishes and silverware to the sink alongside her. He made no effort to wash them of course, simply set them inside, but it was still notably thoughtful in his case.
Afterward, he looked up her with a weak grin, rubbing his arm a little nervously.
"so… um… thanks for that tori, it was real nice, it's always cool to cook with ya…" He trailed off, eyelights dulling a bit.
Toriel responded to his thanks with a nod, sensing he had more to say and waiting for him to continue. He took a deep breath before he did so, curling his phalanges through the open space between his ulna and radius in a tight grip. Beyond the uncertainty in the lights of eyes, a bit of somber resolve shone there too.
"guess we should uh… go talk now, huh?" He asked quietly. "that okay with you?"
She nodded again, scarlet eyes heavy with emotion. As she had before, she began to mentally prepare herself for the weight of what was to come. She had to be ready… for anything.
"Yes, of course… How would you like to do this, my friend?"
His grin tightened, and a weak chuckle escaped him.
"you're… gonna want to be comfortable for this…" He said stiffly, eyelights wavering. "and its probably a bit of a shame to go mess up the living room again after all of ol fluffybun's trouble so… might be best if we just go back to your room. i'd suggest mine but… it's a disaster, heh."
She wanted to offer a smile at his small attempt at humor, even a forced one, but it just didn't seem right. But something else did occur to her then that she could do to be supportive in this situation. With how he had reacted to it before, it didn't seem like it'd be too bold of her.
"Very well then…" She replied gently, before holding out a paw and offering it to him.
He stared at it in minor surprise for a moment, but then took it gratefully, relaxing just a little. Neither of them said anything more as they returned to her room. Just like the previous day, Toriel could feel through the ever-tightening grip he had on her paw that his anxiety was building within his soul by the moment. There wasn't the same near-panicky hesitance as he had had back then, but still, there was no way to make sharing whatever terrible secret he carried an easy process for him. This was going to hurt, for both of them. Now more than ever.
There was a silver lining though, if they could get through this part, she was sure the rest would be far easier to endure. And she would finally, finally understand the true nature of her friend's pain. Then, just maybe, she would know how to help him start to properly heal. To do that though, she was going to need to keep a level head no matter what. No more harsh reactions to every little detail, no more stupid, potentially hurtful questions. She was going to be strong for him. And no matter what terrible things she was sure to hear, she wouldn't let it destroy the close relationship they had. Today would not be the last good day they shared together.
Lost in all her thoughts, she hardly even registered the fact they had reentered the room and climbed back up onto the bed. They ended up sitting against the pillows and headboard, side by side, hand in paw as before. She re-focused and gave him her full attention, but Sans did not speak right away, small body quite rigid beside her. More than content to wait however long he needed, she just tenderly stroked his hand between the pads of her thumb and forefinger. Eventually though, he did draw a shallow breath and clutch her paw tight before his voice broke the silence.
"i warned ya before, this is gonna be… a lot to handle." He began, seemingly doing his best to keep his voice tight and controlled. "it's probably better that i didn't tell you last night… as uh, unstable as i was, heh."
She hummed thoughtfully in response to that, briefly feeling a dull ache in her soul as she remembered the site of him in tears. Another thought occurred to her then and she tilted her head a bit as she voiced it as a question.
"Will GB be joining us again this time?" She asked, knowing that the blaster's comforting presence would likely be even more helpful now than before.
But Sans shook his head, forced smile becoming shaky.
"nah, i would but… this stuff, it could be real traumatizing to the lil guy. more so than before… i don't want him to have to re-live it too." He explained.
It was a sentiment that certainly did not help either of their nerves. But she found no reason to argue with him. Thought It meant she alone would have to serve as her friend's support through this. She accepted that with another gentle squeeze to his hand, and it seemed to her that he understood. His eyelights sharpened with focus then, and the next words came in a slow, deliberate manner.
"i'm gonna have to give you some context before we fully get into it… i'll… do my best to make it brief as i can." He breathed, drumming his phalanges lightly against his patella.
"when i was fourteen or so, gaster and the others stopped using me for their experiments. by then, pap had been taken out of the development chamber and was proving to be much more competent and much more cooperative."
His jaw tightened slightly with some flare of emotion, but he was so quick to compose himself again that she was not sure what emotion it was.
"one of the scientists wanted to just… dispose of me. he thought i was too much of a liability to keep alive and that i didn't serve much of a purpose now that they had my bro. but… believe it or not… ol g was the one who took pity on me."
Toriel's eyes widened a bit, now that was a surprise. Everything she'd heard about the past royal scientist made him out to be exceedingly cruel. She twitched her long ears forward a bit, listening intently as her friend continued.
"i know right?" He said in response to her reaction. "trust me, i was pretty damn shocked too. but as terrible as the doc could be… he wasn't just… evil."
The skeleton's eyelights dulled a bit and she could practically see the warring feelings twisting through his soul.
"he… really thought he was uh, doing something bad for the sake of good. he tried to explain it to me that if only a few monsters had to suffer for everyone to be free one day, then it was worth it. he wasn't some sicko who enjoyed experimenting on kids, but he sacrificed his morals for what he saw as the greater good. and he surrounded himself with company who were equally willing to do the same."
He paused, then narrowed his sockets slightly, perhaps trying to refocus his thoughts. Toriel felt her soul swell with anger on his behalf again, but she kept it under control. She would have to ensure later on that he understood that none of this justified the cruelty and abuse that he had endured. She didn't want to interrupt him though, so she stayed silent and listened.
"anyway, he saw that despite how worthless i was in regard to my intended purpose, i was pretty uh… book smart? i picked up on things quickly and he seemed surprised at how much i actually knew just from listening to them all talk and reading the reports they sometimes stuck to the walls. so he… decided to give me a chance to utilize that skill instead of being dusted."
His smile held the faintest hint of… something she couldn't recognize for a moment, but it disappeared as quickly as it came.
"i was just so happy to be accepted by him, even if it was only a little. and things were actually pretty… okay for a while after that... in a manner of speaking. he assigned me to work with a group of young interns who he oversaw at the upper labs. specifically, he had me be the assistant to the head intern… and you know her already. everyone's favorite otaku lizard herself."
Alphys, now there was someone Toriel somewhat expected to hear come up in this story eventually, but perhaps not in this way. Questions burned at the end of her tongue like hot embers, but she kept her mouth firmly shut. Sans phalanges stopped tapping for the moment and he let his hand lay flat.
"al and the others were all about the same age as me at the time, they were my first real friends. even though i had the social skills of a rock, they were always kind to me. and in time we were able to not just be good lab partners, but close friends. course uh, they never knew the truth about where i came from. ol g told them i was his nephew and i didn't dare try and correct him. i was more than happy so long as i got to see everyone and do something worthwhile."
His eyelights wavered then, the faint happiness that had been there fading into a dull emptiness. His free hand closed into a fist.
"they were… really good people…"
Were. She didn't miss that. The implications were clear and her soul panged harshly at the realization. She could see he was already shaking himself out of his momentary musing in an attempt to move on again, but she felt she still needed to acknowledge his words somehow. She shifted a little closer, giving his small hand another light squeeze. His weary, now faintly grief-stricken gaze met hers for a moment and something in her eyes seemed to help him relax a bit again. He looked back down at his clenched hand, and went on.
"anyway… despite how young we were, we showed great promise and produced some impressive results in the tasks we were given. the doc decided to choose me and al specifically to help him with a project he'd been conceptualizing. he talked it up as his primary idea for possibly escaping the underground, but i knew that was a lie. he went back to work downstairs with his real magnum opus, pap, at the end of every session with us."
A faint shudder ran through him at that. Regret and guilt were detectable in the magic flowing from him, but he kept himself talking, seemingly frustrated with himself for his own reaction.
"his idea was this… machine. a machine that could see into alternate timelines, other worlds even. he even thought, with enough power, that it could be used to open portals to these other timelines. maybe to an instance of our world that monsters were never sealed at all or one where the barrier was already destroyed."
He paused, looking back up at her and smiling nervously in response to what must have been a bewildered expression on her face. She did her best to compose herself again, giving him a nod to show she was still listening. The skeleton didn't look away though.
"y-you still with me tori? you've been awfully quiet. i know this is a lot… back then i probably had the same look on my face when he was explaining it to us."
A bit apologetically, she finally broke her own trend of silence, meeting his gaze without hesitation.
"Sorry my friend, I just did not want to interrupt you. I will admit this is hard for me to understand. But do not worry. I feel I… grasp the concept at least." She assured him.
Truthfully, she only faintly understood the idea. What had that previous royal scientist been drinking to think such a thing possible? Surely the idea of seeing other "timelines" was not something achievable in the realms of reality. And travelling to them through a portal was only more preposterous… right? But her friend's grim expression showed no sign of any sarcasm on the matter, nor had his tone been that of someone recounting a scientist's mad ravings. He had treated the subject with seriousness, nothing more. She swallowed hard, unsure what to think.
"it's okay." He replied after a moment. "i know it sounds crazy just… try to keep an open mind and stay with me with what i'm going to say next. because well, long story short, we got the machine to work. in part anyway."
Well, there it was. Her mind whirled as she tried to make his statement make sense in her mind. She was no scientist by any stretch of the imagination but… how? How could something like that be true? But she had promised to believe him, and indeed, her friend would certainly not lie to her now. Unbeknownst to her though, her internal questions of "How?" had been escaping her verbally as well, prompting her friend to answer.
"to be honest it was mostly the doc, so i'm still not 100% sure how. me and al only really worked on the conceptual and construction phase, as well as handled the reports and readings it gave out. He kept the specifics from the two of us for some reason. i never fully figured out how he did it.… trust me, i tried, for a long, long time…"
A deep sadness was visible in his eyelights again at that, though it faded quickly as he kept talking.
"somehow the machine was able to detect and give a visible summation of our current timeline as well the ones that ran concurrent to ours. it was with the machine we figured out the something was uh…off with the timelines."
Toriel watched, somewhat entranced as he lifted a phalange and drew an invisible line through the air with it.
"they were jumping left and right…" He said, accenting his words by jerking his phalange in said directions at random points along his imaginary line.
"stopping… then starting." He abruptly paused in his motions and then began them again.
"until suddenly… everything ends." His phalange froze in place and then he slowly pulled it back into a fist, before lowering the hand into his lap again.
She didn't know what to say, she didn't really understand… even with the attempted visual. But the concept clicked within her mind enough that she could at least imagine the implications.
"So… something was… causing these uh, timelines to be… disrupted?" She asked, figuring at this point she needed to get as much clarification as she could. Though her words felt embarrassingly clumsy in comparison to his.
The skeleton seemed unbothered by the awkward nature of her question, replying with an absent nod.
"yah, something alright." His grin became strained and bitter, and he had to pause a moment before he could continue.
"we didn't figure out what it was back then, specifically at least. but i found the answer myself in time. what we managed to conclude was that something must have had the ability to end timelines, change their path, leave "checkpoints" like freezes in time that could be returned to… and of course…"
His eyelights winked out, and his voice took on a cold, distant tone.
"…reset them."
That word. It was the one he had almost managed to say the night before. The word he kept holding back. In it was a weight so terrible that Toriel could feel some of her friend's strength leave his soul upon speaking it. The air seemed to thicken and the atmosphere grew heavy. Neither moved or made a sound.
It would be a while before he spoke again, but with that word they had clearly crossed a threshold of some sort. Toriel's soul could only grow colder with poorly restrained fear, wondering what could lie beyond it.
