A/N: I've had this thing 95% done in draft state for a week. Wanted to finish it up because I have something else coming down the pipe that I wasn't expecting. So this is finished. Thank you for all the reviews. Ya'll are the best. Until next time-PCGirl.
John sat at the bar he'd found in London deep in thought, he'd screwed up earlier-knew she needed to remain calm. But instead he'd pushed and put her and the baby at risk. Because it was both of them he was worried about-cared about-loved.
Seeing someone walk up and take the stool next to him he gave them a nod, "You are probably the only person in that house that doesn't hate me."
"No-because I know Liam doesn't hate you and I don't think Gigi does either," said Kelly quietly and then requested a glass of wine from the bartender.
"You heard about the fight?"
"Yeah-I told Joey I was going out for a bit. Figured I'd find you here. How much have you drank?"
John gave a half smile, "I'm not going down that road again-don't worry. So you want to give me some insight on this guy?"
"Works for BE in the London office. Seems like a good guy. Personally I think Natalie's in it for the distraction more than anything. Want to tell me what happened in Port Charles?"
John sighed, "I forgot you were a reporter. I-I just screwed up, Kelly. And then I couldn't face Natalie with the truth and lost them. What we need to do now is yell our frustrations out at each other, but we can't. So tell me what the hell do I do?"
Kelly swirled the wine glass for a few seconds before speaking, "Do you remember that night at the airport when you thought she'd left for London? Remember what I told you that night?"
John remembered all of that night-including running into Kelly at the airport, but shook his head at her exact words.
"I said you needed to go big. I think it's finally time to do that, John. She'll bite if you do."
He half laughed, "It's hard to do that when there are three Buchanan brothers ready to throw me in the Thames. Or the next plane back to Port Charles."
Kelly paid for her drink, and patted John on the shoulder, "You do your part-leave the brothers to me and Gigi."
John turned and watched her leave the bar and then paid his tab. If he was going to go big then he needed to get started. The quicker he did this then the quicker he could have his family back where they belonged.
Natalie stared out the window as Gigi drove her home from her appointment-everything was normal, her blood pressure seemed to be staying steady, and the baby showed no distress.
She should call John and tell him-let him know their little girl was alright. The past week he'd done like Kevin had asked-called either him or Rex before picking up Liam for a couple hours each day.
But when it came to her it was silence. Whether he was doing as Kevin requested or was still mad at her she wasn't sure-but she knew they needed to hash out what they could before the baby arrived.
Realizing they had made an unfamiliar turn she looked over to Gigi, "Where are we going?"
"Shane has a classmate whose mom has some premie girl clothes. Their apartment is right here by the hospital. Thought we could stop by real quick and pick them up. So we can have them ready-you know, just in case this little one makes her debut early," she stuttered at the end.
When Kelly had approached her about the idea she wasn't sure it was going to help. But she knew how Natalie and John were-knew that if they could talk for just a few minutes without any other influences around them then maybe they could get to the root of some of their problems that brought them to the present. She also knew that all three brothers were overprotective of Natalie-and wouldn't allow this conversation to happen unless it was done in secret and with them present. So in secret it was.
"Yeah, that's fine," she said as they pulled into the parking lot.
As they made it to the door Gigi suddenly stopped, "I forgot something in the car-I'll be right back. She said you can go in."
Natalie stared at her sister-in-law for a moment before going in, "Hello?" she called out and noticed the Christmas tree was standing in front of the window waiting to be decorated. It was freshly cut-the smell reminding her of Llanfair during Christmas time. She was already missing Llanview, and not being there for Christmas was making this all the worse.
There were other smells coming from the kitchen. At hearing footsteps she turned to see John standing there holding two bowls, "John."
"Hey," he said with a smile and walked towards her and sat them down on the coffee table. "Gigi's gone to do some shopping-she'll be back soon, I promise. Now sit. You are still on bedrest."
Natalie sighed, "I'm so tired of sitting. How did you-?" she stopped, wondering how quickly he put it all together.
"It's an efficiency apartment-fully furnished. Close to the hospital so in case anything happens I can be there quickly." Sitting down he rubbed the back of his neck, a habit he always did when he was nervous, "Kelly told me to go big-so I decided I'd remind you of our first Christmas. Well, Christmas season."
Natalie smiled as she looked to see it was macaroni and cheese in the bowls, "John," she said softly as she picked hers up and began to eat.
"I want to try and keep this calm-I don't want to yell. And I'm sorry about before-I have no say to who you are seeing. I screwed up, that's all on me. I-I have you a present-two really. Do you want them?" he asked as he got up and pulled the first one from behind the tree.
Natalie was confused-there were no gifts given that year. But as she saw the shape she remembered one that was given to her, but not by John. Opening it she was careful, not wanting to rip what she felt was beneath. Seeing that she was right about it being a painting of some sort she flipped it over and felt the tears start to come-it was a painting of her and Liam. She remembered John taking the picture one day will she sat on the bed after nursing Liam and just watching him sleep. Looking down at the corner she ran her fingers over the artist name. "Cris? Cris painted this?"
John nodded, "As soon as I knew I wanted to recreate all of this I called him. I remember the painting he had done of you sleeping-you opened it at Rodi's on Christmas Eve. So I sent him the picture of you and Liam and asked him if he'd do this for me. For you. He finished it yesterday and overnighted it last night. Told me any other person he'd say no to-but he could never say no to you."
Natalie beamed as she placed it to the side, "I love it. Thank you-I'll have to call him later."
"Here's the other thing," he said as he held out the small velvet box and saw her eyebrows shoot up in surprise. "It's not what you think-I promise."
Natalie gave him a look as she opened the box and saw the saint's medallion, "St Gerard," she said as she looked onto the inscription.
"Patron saint of expectant mothers. I-uhm-figured you could use all the help you could get. St Jude helped me out more than I could count-maybe this one will do the same for you."
"Thank you. Again," she said as she took it out of the box and tucked it into her pocket. Hearing the running of feet she saw Liam come out of the bedroom area and over to her, "Hey sweetie-were you sleeping?"
"Yeah," he said and then pointed to the tree.
"You want to decorate it, huh?" she said as she looked over to John for support.
"I told him when he woke up from his nap Mommy would be here and we'd decorate it together," he said as he walked out of the room and came back with two cups of eggnog and a plate of fruitcake. "Obviously no rum this year-but I still got the expensive eggnog," he said with a grin, proud of himself for remembering all the things that occured that season.
Natalie took a smell of the eggnog and shook her head, "That smell-uhm, no eggnog for me this year. Rum or no rum."
John laughed as he watched Liam begin to pull out some handmade ornaments that he'd done earlier in the week.
Despite her hardest efforts Natalie felt the tears falling as she watched the two of them begin to decorate the tree with homemade ornaments and then began to laugh as John pulled out a pink boa. "How appropriate."
"You know the looks that I was given for buying this thing?" he teased and found a spot to drape it on.
Natalie took a deep breath, "John, why are you doing all this?"
He stopped from messing with the boa and came over to her, pulling a chair in front of her, "That first Christmas season wasn't just about helping you begin to heal over losing Cristian-or realizing that we could maybe, some how, be friends.
"It was about two people who had been thrown into each others universe for some unknown reason. And we're still there. I know the kids will connect us forever-that we can never be truly separate again, but you are still the biggest thing in my life. Just because there's an ocean between us the past few months doesn't change how I feel."
Natalie tried to stay calm, knew she needed to, but now with him face to face she had to get her feelings out that she'd been holding in, "You are mine too. Which is why it hurt so bad when I found out about that kiss. And then for you to not tell me and have me believe it meant nothing."
John wiped the tears that had started to trail down her face, "Please stay calm, Natalie. I can't lose you."
She nodded, "I will. I am."
"That first night-after the non-wedding and I slept with Kelly. You were ready to forgive me and us move on. Can we do that? Can we keep making memories like the ones we already have?"
Natalie swallowed hard, when he put his heart out there like this she always felt the biggest wave of emotion, "Yes. I want that too."
"Good," he smiled and kissed her softly. "Because where I belong is here with you, Liam, and our little girl. Always."
"Always," she smiled back and knew wherever John and the kids were-that was home.
