Chapter 4: Twenty-Five (Part One)
You found her when you were twenty-five years old.
"We're not going to make it." Rachel mumbles beside you and you turn to look at her before looking at your watch. The ceremony should be starting soon.
"We'll be fine, don't worry about it. There's a lot of bullshit in the beginning anyways." You pat Rachel on her leg to stop her nervous shaking and lean a little to look out the front window of the taxi. You hope you're right. The line of cars in front of you is long and seemingly endless. You'll never hear the end of it if you miss Quinn's graduation at UC Berkeley. You both flew up to San Francisco from Los Angeles just for it.
Your taxi moves another 10 feet before coming to a complete stop and Rachel sighs beside you. You feel bad. If you didn't insist on making an extra stop for some flowers, then you wouldn't be stuck in traffic. It's not your fault you didn't know that everyone and their mothers were going to this thing. You roll your eyes at yourself because, hello, this is exactly the kind of event that everyone and their mothers would go to. Who wouldn't want to see their friend or family member walk across that stage and receive their diploma?
"I can't miss this one, too. She's only walking again because I missed the last one. She's going to hate me." Rachel looks at you with a frown and you feel even worse.
"Rach, she loves you. She's not going to suddenly start hating you because we were stuck in traffic. She'll understand." You try to comfort her. You know she's on edge, you can feel it in the air and she doesn't need to say anything for you to know she's at least slightly upset with you.
Over the past two years, you've gotten a lot closer to her. When Mercedes went on tour as a backup singer and Tina moved back to Ohio to take care of her mom, you thought you'd be all alone in California. But then, Rachel called you out of the blue asking if she could stay with you for a few nights. She'd been pursuing acting and was asked to come to LA for a chemistry read with another cast member. When she eventually landed the part, you refused to help her go apartment hunting and instead asked her to be your roommate.
It's crazy to think you went from shoving wet paper towels into her locker to late nights of helping her run lines. You've come a long way. You both have.
"I'm really sorry, Rach." You tell her, and she offers you small smile before telling you it's not your fault. You push down your feelings of inadequacy and pray to the universe that you make it on time. Grabbing your phone from your purse, you shoot a quick text to Mercedes to make sure she still has seats saved for you both. She responds quickly that she does and you're at least glad that something is going right today.
Thankfully, you make it to the ceremony just as they start reading the names of the graduates. You easily find your group of friends sitting in the section off to the side, still close enough to the stage. You exhale in relief when you see Mercedes fighting off some strangers that are trying to take the two empty seats beside her.
Quickly, you pull Rachel with you towards your seats and shoot a pointed glare at the vultures, causing them to back away. As you both take your seats you turn slightly to wave silently at the rest of your ragtag group of friends from high school.
It's been a few years since you've all had the time to get together again. Especially since you're all mostly scattered in different states now. But once everyone got word that Quinn was graduating with her master's degree and at least four of you would be making the trip to SF for the ceremony, it was decided that the special occasion would turn into a reunion/little vacation for everyone.
You sit back and exhale, proud to have made it here. Not so much in the physical sense - although you're happy to have made it on time - but just overall where you are in life. This definitely isn't where you imagined you'd be when you were a teenager. Looking back, you wonder what your 14-year-old self would think of your life now.
"She's standing!" Rachel squeals beside you and you have to squint a little to see Quinn as she stands from her seat and shuffles along her row, making her way to the stage. She turns slightly in place and your entire group already has their phones out, trying to get photos of the blonde in her cap and gown. You laugh when you can see Quinn rolling her eyes and turning back to the front, embarrassed at how we're all acting. It makes you smile because you realize that Quinn's come a long way too. The two of you ruled the school back then and not in a good way. If it wasn't for Glee Club and forming these relationships, you would've never changed your ways. You both would probably still be bitter, in the closet, and hating your lives right now.
"Santana," Mercedes whispers to you on the other side of Rachel. "Santana isn't this…" She hands you her phone and you look at the blurry image. It's a zoomed in image of the photo she just took of Quinn as she's waiting in line.
"Yes, Mercedes, that is Quinn," You nod exaggeratedly, and laugh when she rolls her eyes at you.
"Fine, give me my damn phone back, good luck figuring out if it's your hot blonde club girl from this far away." She reaches for her phone and you quickly move it out of reach.
"Wait, what did you just say?" You look at her, your voice slightly louder now. Rachel shushes you and you turn to look at Mercedes phone one more time. You move your fingers across the screen and zoom in until you see her.
She's about 5 or 6 people behind Quinn. You can't really see much because of the quality but you think it might actually be her. You look up to find her with your eyes and toss the phone back to Mercedes without looking. Actually, the phone hits Rachel but you ignore the way Rachel gasps and Mercedes swears at you.
You easily find Quinn standing near the stage and trace the line of graduates backwards to find blonde hair falling from a black cap and instinctually begin to lean forward. You can't tell. Not from this far. But then the person beside her must've made a joke because you watch as she laughs, head fully back, and she steps to the side a little to do a little spin.
You almost yell for her right then and there. It's her. It must be. It has to be.
"Give me a program," You say, eyes not leaving the front as your hands swat Rachel next to you. She mumbles something under her breathe but you don't care because once the program is in your hands, you thumb through it quickly until you find the list of graduates. When you find Quinn's name, you move down until you see it. You look up to count the amount of people between Quinn and her and smile in confirmation.
Brittany S. Pierce.
It's her. You found her. Your blonde-haired blue-eyed Brittany. Nearly twenty years later and you finally, finally know her last name.
"What's Santana doing?" You hear Tina ask and it wasn't until then that you realized you had moved to your feet. You quickly sit back down and mumble a quiet sorry to the people behind you.
"Santana, I love you, but please focus. They're gonna read Quinn's name soon." Rachel elbows you in your ribs and you wince. You pull yourself together in time to yell and shout with everyone as Quinn's name is read and she steps up to receive her Diploma. She looks utterly embarrassed as she walks back to her seat and your laughing because even though you're all technically adults, you'll never miss the opportunity to act like obnoxious children.
When you settle down, you shift your focus back to the front and find Brittany easily near the stage. When her name is read, you smile as she steps up, practically bouncing with joy. You can't believe it's really her. You remember how mad at yourself you were the morning you woke up to smudges on your arm. You remember yelling at Tina and Mercedes for not saving the number while it was still intact. You even went to the same club for months after in hopes of seeing her again, but you never did. And now, here she is. More than two thousand miles away from when you first found her, and more than three hundred away from when you last.
As Brittany walks back to her seat, her smile is wide and bright. She's glowing, and you feel so, so proud of her. You look at the program and see the words next to her name. A master's in Computer Science. And with honors no less. Your girl is a straight up genius.
The rest of the ceremony is long, and you understand why Quinn didn't want to walk this time. You watch as she fidgets in her seat, most likely cursing at the world for how long it's taking to read all the undergraduates' names. You chuckle to yourself when you look towards Brittany and you see the person next to her nudge her periodically throughout, probably waking her up from dozing off.
As soon as the commencement is done, you make your way outside with the rest of your group to wait for the graduates to come out. You're nervous. You know you are because the first thing you look for besides the letter 'F' is the letter 'P'. You don't want it to be weird. Brittany probably hates you for never calling. She probably gave up on whatever this was a long time ago.
Once a sea of caps and gowns start making their way out of the auditorium, it becomes pretty hectic quite quickly. When Quinn makes it to the 'F' section you give her a hug and congratulate her with the rest of your friends. You stand there awkwardly for a while, not knowing if you should be looking for Brittany or if you should be supporting your best friend. After about 10 minutes, you're standing off to the side when Rachel requests for a photo of you and Quinn.
"You can go, you know." Quinn whispers to you as you both pose for the photo. You look at her and she smiles softly. "Rachel told me you found her again." She looks at Rachel and winks before turning to you and hugging you. "Thank you for being here but you seriously need to stop standing there like you don't know what to do and go get your girl."
You don't need to be told twice. You kiss Quinn on the cheek and quickly make your way around the auditorium to the 'P' section. It doesn't take you long before you find Brittany. The crowds are bigger in this area and you can tell she's enjoying her time with who you think is her family and friends. You move to a nearby wall and lean against it as you wait.
You don't want to intrude on her celebration. You don't even know what you would say. You decide to take the time to think about it because you also don't want to come off as a creeper. When you glance up to look at her again, her eyes are already on you. Which scares you at first because she looks shocked to see you, but then her eyes soften, and her hand comes up to slowly wave.
Hi.
You read her lips as she says it and you give her a small smile in return, ducking your head to look away. You don't really know how to act. The last time you interacted you were both drunk but now, it's daytime and you're very, very sober. Do you flirt? Do you act like old friends? Do you ignore the fact that your heart beats out of your chest every time blue eyes find brown?
Your nerves take over and you stay where you are, trying to slowly build up the courage to walk up to her. She looks so happy laughing with her family and taking photos. You feel like you've known her all your life but really, you know nothing about her. You've barely scratched the surface of who she is and you're starting to doubt yourself. What if you're holding onto something that's not actually there anymore?
When the crowd dies down a little more, you look up and you're surprised to see Brittany already walking over to you. The image makes your chest hammer uncontrollably, but you also can't help the smile that forms on your lips. You take a steadying breath and stand up straight to greet her.
"Were you not going to come say hi?" Brittany speaks first once she reaches you. It comes off as teasing, but something tells you that she's nervous too. Maybe just as nervous as you are.
"I didn't want to interrupt your family time." You shrug, and she nods slowly in understanding. You fall into an awkward silence and you don't know what you're supposed to do. Brittany glances back to her group of friends and family and you get the chance to fully look at her in front of you. She's wearing heels, causing her to look a lot more taller than you. When she turns back you get the chance to examine her features again. Her bangs are back, but this time they fall straight over her forehead, not swept to the side like they were when you were both in high school. They frame her face nicely in a more mature way but with a hint of innocence.
Brittany clears her throat when the silence becomes unbearable.
"So-" "How-" You both try to speak at the same time, but she shakes her head, allowing you to go first.
"Sorry, for not calling you..." You tell her, and her eyes move across your face, trying to read you.
"I just thought," she looks down a little, "I thought, maybe, you weren't interested anymore."
You shake your head at her words. She looks sad and you hate yourself for it. You can't stand the idea that all these years she thought you rejected her. You duck your head to look her in the eyes, "Brittany, I swear to you, the ink smeared. You've gotta believe me when I say I called every number it could've possibly looked like. I tried all of them. Do you know how many people I yelled at for not being you?"
That makes her smile and you're glad. "Yeah, but then just now-" her smile falters and she sighs, "We just keep missing each other. Like, what if I left too early today and you didn't find me in time." She shakes her head, "Maybe this just isn't written for us." She tells you and you suddenly find the confidence to reach for her hands, holding them in front of you.
"Well, Ms. Pierce," you smile at the way her eyes brighten to the sound of her last name coming from your lips, "Call me crazy but I've already done a thorough search of social media and found all your accounts. I know how to find you." You wink.
She smiles at first but then frowns. "Did you cheat?" she asks sheepishly. You're not even fazed by her question, you already know what she's talking about. She's asking if you cheated fate. If you only found her by going against her wishes and going out of your way to look for her.
"No," You shake your head and grin knowingly, pointing toward Quinn's section, "I'm technically here for a friend. But then I saw you and I couldn't believe it." You hold up the ceremony program to her and point to her name, reading it out loud, "Brittany S. Pierce."
She blushes at that and smiles her full smile at you, making you melt, "Fate." She simply states and it's your turn to smile.
"Looks like it's meant to be after all." You tell her, and her blush deepens. You take a step closer, "Now, before you can run away again," you let go of her hands to grab your phone, "Can I maybe get that number one more time?" You smile, and she giggles as she grabs your phone from you happily. When she hands it back to you, you're practically beaming when you see the little red heart next to her name.
"I know you're probably busy today, but could I take you out to coffee or something sometime this week?" You ask after you quickly call her number so that she can have yours as well.
"Someone's eager." She teases, and you laugh.
"I'm only here for a few more days before I head back to LA." You explain, and she frowns, "And I'd like to think we deserve at least a proper date by now. The universe owes it to us."
Her frown disappears, replaced with another smile and you know you said the right thing. She seems to think about your words before she smirks down at you, making your heart skip a beat.
"On one condition." She states and your eyebrows arch in response. She steps closer to you and, instinctively you step back slightly, your heel hitting the wall behind you. You flush immediately, thinking back to the last time she held you against a wall. "Kiss me."
Your eyes drop to her lips when you see her tongue dart out to wet them, and you instinctively mimic her action. She doesn't wait for you to make the first move as she brings her hand up to palm your cheek, her thumb tracing circles there. The movement grounds you and you lean forward, placing your hands on her waist before tipping your head up, and connecting your lips to hers softly.
She takes your breath away and you let her. It isn't a long kiss. In fact, it's over pretty quickly but you're not disappointed. Not even a little. Not when you've finally found her. Your girl. Your blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl. Your Brittany.
There's whistling going off in the distance and you turn your head to find your group of friends laughing and cheering in your direction. Brittany steps away from you in embarrassment and you throw a glare towards your friends.
"Please ignore my creeper friends." You tell Brittany, shaking your head.
She laughs at you and you watch as she and Quinn share a look before waving to each other. When Brittany turns back to you, your eyebrows are already knitted in confusion.
"You know Quinn?" You ask, and she nods, but before you can ask a follow up question, Quinn appears next to her.
"Wow isn't this a coincidence." Quinn laughs, and Brittany turns to her. You watch as a silent conversation takes place between the two blondes for about a minute before Brittany turns back to you with narrow eyes.
"So, you're the one that turned me down." Brittany cocks her head and your eyes dart between the two blondes. Quinn is almost mimicking her actions and you are so far beyond confused now.
"Santana," Quinn speaks, and you look to her for more clues, "remember about a year ago when I tried setting you up with someone and you refused to hear me out? Something about staying celibate forever and all vaginas are the devil."
You nod a little because yeah you remember but why is that important now?
Wait.
"Don't tell me-" You start to connect the pieces and Brittany's arms cross playfully in front of her, a smirk forming on her lips.
"I can't believe you got my number a second time and you still never called me." Brittany gasps but you can see the smile in her eyes. Quinn clicks her tongue at you and shakes her head in disappointment. You're completely speechless. You remember Quinn giving you the phone number of the girl, but you wouldn't take it. You didn't even let her tell you her name because you were swearing off dating completely.
"You should've told me her name was Brittany!" You find your voice, scolding Quinn. "How was I supposed to know?"
"I didn't know this Brittany, was the Brittany. Your Brittany." Quinn laughs with her hands up in defense and Brittany smiles at her words.
"Your Brittany?" Brittany repeats with a grin and you blush.
"A girl can only hope." You mumble, and her wide smile is back. That smile, you're sure, is one of the best sights you've ever seen. It makes you feel soft and warm. It makes you feel that pull. The same pull that no one else but Brittany could ever recreate.
"Alright lovebirds," Quinn steps forward and grabs your arm, "I hate to break this party up, but we have reservations to get to, and I'm pretty sure Britt has some celebrating to do with her family."
You look at Brittany and melt at the way she's looking at you. Like there's a whole other world in you that's yet be discovered. There's so much to catch up on and you don't want to leave but you have to.
Eventually, you congratulate her on her accomplishment and let her go back to her family and friends. Quinn pulls you away, and when you get back to your group, you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket.
Brittany: Tomorrow night, 7:30pm. Meet me at 18th and Mission.
You smile and quickly respond with, I'll be there.
You spend the night celebrating Quinn with your friends and attempting to get more information from her about Brittany. She refuses because she claims to have received a text from Brittany, something about not sharing any personal information.
As much as that frustrates you, you knowingly smile because of course Brittany would do something like that. It makes you even more anxious for your date. You'll finally get to sit and talk with the one person who has slipped from your hands throughout your life.
You can't wait.
It's late when you get back to Quinn's apartment and after you get ready for bed, you settle into the pullout couch, thinking about all the things you want to know about your girl. As you're making your mental checklist - because a physical one would be crazy - your phone vibrates beside you. You smile as you read Brittany's message.
Brittany: Is it weird that I'm nervous?
Santana: Only if I wasn't just as nervous, too.
Brittany: Okay, good. Sweet dreams, Santana.
Santana: Goodnight, Brittany.
