Cat Noir had just about finished his drink at that point in the conversation and seemed to be holding himself more lightly than when he had arrived. Having folded his blanket and placed it on the chair, he had taken Marinette's hand and kissed it, expressing his gratitude once more for the evening, before grabbing the remaining half of his baguette and vaulting off into the night.
It was another restless night for Marinette as she tried to come to terms with another bomb dropped by her partner. She hadn't expected him to have any reservations at all about sharing who they were. It was funny in a way, she thought, to be taking a week in which they were supposed to be thinking things over for themselves, but to be unwittingly talking things through together like this.
As Tikki and Marinette talked things through in the early hours of the morning she decided that she wanted to talk to Adrien again and considered his schedule for the next day. From what she could gather he had been due to have one of his usual photoshoots that day, but she was uncertain as to whether that would be going ahead in light of everything with Gabriel.
During the school day that followed she was able to listen in as Adrien told Nino he wouldn't be available after school due to the photoshoot going ahead. It seemed Adrien had been in discussions with the other executive members of his father's company who wanted him to carry on his modelling – something about reframing the public discourse to put Adrien in a better light – a "diamond in the rough" kind of story that would help shelter the company's reputation. When Adrien had turned and caught her listening in he had smiled at her as she turned red, embarrassed at having been caught eavesdropping but grateful that he didn't seem at all upset. She put her lack of care that lead to be being caught down to the lack of sleep she had been experiencing, not impressed that she was this tired and it was only Wednesday, and decided that, assuming no Cats turned up that evening, she would get an early night. It was nice, at least, not having any patrols to worry about.
Having made a mental note at the time that the shoot would be in the Jardin du Luxembourg, she left school and headed in that direction.
…
Adrien had been picked up before the last class of the day had finished, so she knew he would already be there, probably in the middle of the afternoon's shooting schedule. Ducking into a nearby alley way she called on Tikki to transform her and headed into the gardens, taking to the roof of the Palais du Luxembourg. The shoot, as it happened, was right next to the Palais, on the grass between it and the fountain. Her appearance drew the attention of most of those closest to the Palais, it being hard to hide in a bright red outfit like hers.
Adrien was one of the last people to notice her, wondering why the photographer and crew all seemed distracted until he spotted (pun definitely intended) her for himself. That happened just after she had found him (not that he was difficult to find, being the subject of the shoot) and she was already leaping through the air towards the setup in the middle of the square.
It was only as she approached him that she realized this might not have been the best timing. He had said that his company was, of course, wanting to distance themselves from Hawkmoth and focus on Adrien instead, so having such a clear physical reminder of Hawkmoth such as herself turn up in the middle of this photoshoot might not have been very sensitive. But as she looked at the faces of those around her she didn't see any malice or annoyance. Perhaps having Adrien seen with her would actually aid in the publicity they needed. Maybe it was the best timing.
Adrien had approached her as she had gotten closer, having become aware that he seemed to be her target, but unsure as to why she was here and why now. Perhaps the whole Gabriel-being-Hawkmoth thing had made him extra vigilant, but Adrien's bodyguard walked over quickly as well before Ladybug got too close. Adrien waved him off politely to let him know that everything was ok. "Hey," he said to Ladybug.
"Hi," she answered. "Sorry to turn up unannounced like this," she apologized, hands held together in front of her.
"Do you have a way to announce yourself in advance?" he queried with a smile.
She laughed, "Ha, no not really," and decided to try and joke with him. Placing one hand on her hip and scratching her chin with the other, she looked at him and continued, "though I'm not sure if it's less creepy me turning up in your bedroom or watching you while you strike handsome poses…" The laugh he let out was deep and real and she reveled in having been able to elicit such a response from him, hoping that all of their conversations could carry on like this. She suddenly wondered why they weren't being accosted by anyone and looking around saw that the bodyguard had set the photography crew to work creating a perimeter of people so that she and Adrien wouldn't be interrupted. She should make sure someone thanked him for that.
"Is there something I might help you with?" Adrien asked her, turning her attention back to him and to why she had come to see him.
"Well," she started, "I was wondering if we could carry on our conversation from the other day?" She hadn't known how he might respond – he had seemed happy to have her visit, but she could only hope that the awkwardness in their previous interaction was all on her and not due to him being in anyway uncomfortable. Cat's insights had left her thinking about misunderstandings – what if it went the other way? If someone was uncomfortable around her and she didn't realize it?
"Yes, absolutely," he responded, taking away the apprehension she had felt and the fears that she had been concerned about – he seemed to be happy once again and there was no discernible discomfort in his response. "Do you have more questions or did you just want to talk a bit more about what you asked before?" His initiative in getting the conversation going helped her feel at ease and they moved to sit at one of the tables set up for the crew.
"Sort of both. It's still to do with helping someone see you as a person when they've only known you as a celebrity," she explained.
"Ok, so it's still to do with helping Cat Noir get to know you?" he clarified.
"Yes. It's just I have a more specific question this time, and I don't want to pry, so please feel free not to answer." That made him all the more curious as to what it was she could have to ask, but keenly aware of the turn the last conversation took he was hoping not to make this about him as much as possible.
"That's ok, though I really think you don't need to worry about him." He wanted to be reassuring but upon saying this out loud he realized he shouldn't try to get ahead of the conversation or he may be asked about what made him so certain, and then he'd be trapped.
Ladybug looked at him, curious as to what the conversation with Cat Adrien had reported having must have been like for him to speak with such confidence about her partner.
"Right, well, you don't have to tell me anything, but…" she glanced around quickly to see how far away everyone else was, "have you ever had someone say they love you while only knowing you as a celebrity?" Immediately Adrien understood the reason behind the question. Her head was turned down but her eyes looked up at him, as though halfway between embarrassment at having asked such a question and determination to find out what the answer might be.
"I, err," he started, trying to push down the implications of the question for Cat Noir to be able to think back to any situations in his life that might actually answer her question. This was difficult. "I guess I have lots of people say that sort of thing in crowds, and people in the industry who try and get close to you to advance their own agenda, but I guess that's not quite what you mean."
"Not exactly, no. Though I suppose there could be a parallel there?" she suggested. "I guess what I mean is, kind of like I was saying the other day, someone who thinks they love you when they know you as the celebrity, but then that love seems to fade or leave when they know the real you…"
"Well as far as romantic love goes I've never really dated anyone, so in that sense I can't help you too much. I've kind of had the opposite though." When he saw her raise an eye he elaborated, "I had a friend at collège who I grew up with so in a way she'd always known the real me, but then she only seemed interested in me because I'm a celebrity." Ladybug knew exactly who he was referring to but couldn't say anything so merely nodded in understanding. "But that doesn't really help here," he pointed out. There seemed to Adrien to be promise in the line of questioning Ladybug had started with though, and he figured he had an avenue to ask questions without suspicion. "So, if I have the right understanding of the situation, Cat Noir says he loves you, but you're worried he might stop loving you when he knows who you really are?"
Suddenly embarrassed at the personal nature of the conversation having heard it put so succinctly, her cheeks started to pink. "Not quite." She told him. "Cat Noir has feelings for me, but he knows I don't return the feelings. I'm actually worried that when he hears that from me as me, not just as Ladybug, that he'll be disappointed and it will change things between us."
That wasn't the answer Adrien had hoped for, but he could appreciate the care she was showing for him – well, the other him. It wasn't a completely devastating answer either, as he still held on to the belief that she could develop feelings for him in time, and learning who each other was would quite possibly open up more opportunities for that to happen. He wanted to reassure her as Cat, but right now he was Adrien, and knew he needed to answer her in a somewhat more detached way. "It sounds like your concern is to do with his feelings for you, or rather, that you don't return those feelings, and that knowing who each other is will intensify that difference between you. I don't think that's really to do with your celebrity status at all."
She thought over what he was saying and supposed he was right. The downside of that would be that she had now lost her excuse to use him as her sounding board. "I guess that makes sense," she agreed. "Thank you."
"No problem," he smiled. "But," he dared to ask, "how do you know your feelings for him won't change after you find out who each other is?"
She looked at him, debating whether to answer that question, given who he was. "Well," she offered," I have feelings for someone else."
Adrien had heard this before, but needed to respond as though he hadn't. "Oh, I see," he tried. "So, if you learn who each other is then Cat Noir will likely learn who this other guy is," he expounded, realizing the implications of that for himself as Ladybug was considering the same. "I guess that could get complicated," he admitted. Neither of them knew what would happen if Cat Noir came face to face with the object of Ladybug's affections. It was hard to imagine a scenario in which that didn't have an impact on their partnership. 'Be more detached' he told himself. "But if Cat really cares about you then he'll want you to be happy. He should support you in this." He was telling himself this as much as he was telling her. "And I think he would," he offered, using all his might to push down the emotional processing he was going to have to go through to deal with that line of thinking.
Ladybug wasn't sure what to think. Adrien had brought some clarity to what she was finding difficult about it all, but it still all ended in uncertainty. How would Cat react to learning it? Would it lead to a falling out whereby she was constantly having to defend herself for liking someone else, or would it actually be ok, with Cat being supportive of her despite the conflict of interest? She was impressed by Adrien's assessment of Cat though, and thought she owed it to him to believe the best of her partner as well, after all he had always been there for her. "Do you think you'd be able to do that for someone you cared about?" she posed to him. How was she to know what she was asking him? That this was the very Cat she was wondering about?
He swallowed, hoping she didn't notice, to keep his feelings in check and try and answer as abstractly as possible. "I'd want what's best for you," he said, quickly correcting, "for whoever that person might be."
She sensed some tension there and realized she may be crossing a line with personal questions. "Thank you Adrien, this has been really helpful to me."
"Yeah," he replied, his body relaxing to be able to move on from thinking about this, "no problem."
"I better let you get back to work," she decided out loud, standing up. That hint of tension made her feel a risk of making things uncomfortable if she stayed any longer, and since this conversation had been really beneficial she thought it would be good to leave whilst everything was positive. Besides, what they had discussed was probably enough for her to think on. "See you around?"
"Ok, sure, that would be nice," he said, rising with her. The invitation in his voice made her regret her decision to leave – perhaps it would have been ok to stay longer after all. But she thought it best not to act indecisive and committed to going. But she'd test the comfort he had around her one more time as she did.
"Bye, Handsome Boy," she called and watched him smile at her as she left the gardens the way she had come in, smiling to herself as well.
