Adrien really struggled to keep the focus he needed for the remainder of the shoot. Several shots had to be retaken as his gaze was off, or he couldn't hold his position. What had once been an easy decision – whether to reveal identities – had become more complicated than he had ever expected.
He took the evening off and spent his Thursday morning at home to process. Excuses could be made for the lycée and he needed to be able to really stop and focus on the magnitude of this decision – something he hadn't counted on last weekend. His bodyguard seemed to appreciate that he needed some space after his encounter with Ladybug, despite not knowing what they had talked about, and made the necessary arrangements, including bringing his lunch to him in his room.
Adrien was acutely aware that tomorrow would be the day he met up with Ladybug for what was quite possibly the last time ever that he would be Cat Noir. For one last time he decided that he would need to see his Princess, and the idea that it could be the last time ever for that as well moved him more than he would have expected last weekend as well. He realized school was close to being finished and suited up, launching into the air with his baton.
…
Marinette had missed Adrien that day, her life was about to change dramatically and she really wanted the constancy of his presence in front of her to remain – even if they were close to finishing lycée and the changes that that meant too. Nino had told Alya that Adrien was staying at home that day, dealing with some 'sort of process?' (not quite what Adrien had explained, but never mind).
She left the school building the most distracted she had ever been in her life – her own impending change in identity, the revelations from her conversations with Cat, the absence of Adrien – and didn't notice a black clad figure leap off of the school roof.
"Princess," he said simply, grabbing her and leaping back into the air. The shock knocked the air out of her lungs so she couldn't even scream at the surprise. Back on the roof he put her down and carried on as if the conversation hadn't been interrupted by a vault into the sky, "I was hoping you might-"
"CAT!" she interrupted. "You can't do that! My gosh! That was terrifying!"
He stood very still, a look of fear on his face. "I-I'm…" he tried. "Sorry." He hadn't meant to scare her – the defeat of Hawkmoth meant there should be no fear of akuma attacks any more, but he supposed it had been a bit rash to just grab her like that.
"It's ok," she reassured him, "just give a girl some warning next time. How was I supposed to know you weren't someone trying to hurt me?"
"I'm… your right," he admitted, looking down at his feet, hand scratching the back of his neck. "Sorry, I wasn't thinking. I just…"
"Everyone at school is going to be asking me about this for weeks," she continued, more to herself than him. 'Was that what really concerned her about it?' he wondered – not really able to tell if he should take that to mean she didn't like being seen with him, or if she was just embarrassed to receive that kind of attention.
"Won't happen again," he said with a very serious look on his face as he turned and looked at the school grounds below and the people staring up trying to see them.
Marinette suddenly realized the truth in that statement and her heart shifted from the concern she had for herself to the concern she knew she should have, and did have, for Cat Noir. "Right, I suppose not," she acknowledged, and the change in the tone of her voice told him she would listen again.
"Can I take you somewhere other than here?" he enquired. "Would that make answering people's questions easier, or worse?" It was a genuine question and she knew him well enough to know that it wasn't in any way meant as a snide remark.
"We can go somewhere else if you'd like, I don't think it will make a difference." She wandered back over to him, and he smiled, the willingness to go with him in that simple movement reinforcing the usual mood present between them when they interacted. He lifted her into his arms and headed north. "Where are you wanting to go today?" she asked him, not sure exactly what direction he was taking her in.
"Well, since this is probably the last time we'll get to do something like this I want to take you somewhere nice with a good view. And no, we're not going to the Eiffel Tower." She had figured out that much since she knew which direction to go from the school to get there. As he jumped across streets with her she came to notice a familiar funicular train.
"Montmartre?" she asked him.
"La Basilique du Sacré-Cœur, to be precise," he informed her, taking the last few bounds to get up the hill. This church was a bit more difficult to walk around on top of as all the roofs sloped in one direction of another, but he came down in the center, a foot on the corresponding slopes of each side of the roof. He placed her down with him, close enough to the center of the church roof so as not to be easily seen by the crowds lining up in front, since it remained open into the night.
"I do get to see things from interesting spots with you don't I," she said looking around and taking in the landscape in front of her.
"Only the best for a Princess," he joked, sitting down and leaning against the central dome of the Basilica. "Besides, the view isn't exactly as interesting from inside the crypt…"
"Ha," she laughed. "See, you don't need puns to be funny, Cat." She sat down so that her legs were both on one side of the roof, careful to keep her center of gravity in the middle so as not to slide down (though she had every confidence Cat would catch her if anything went wrong).
"That reminds me!" He nearly shouted. "I thought as a baker's daughter you'd like to be up here so you could enjoy the pain-au-rama!" he stretched his arms out over the scene in front of them, a huge, beaming smile on his face, clearly very satisfied with his latest play on words.
She did her best to suppress her laughter, but that one had actually been worthy of this baker's daughter. It burst out of her and she had to cover her mouth to try and stifle it. Still giggling, she looked up at him, "goodness, Cat, how do you come up with these?!"
"See, I knew you always loved the puns," he asserted.
"I wouldn't go that far, but I have to hand that one to you." He was thrilled to have evoked such a response from her and continued to look proud of himself. "Please tell me that you haven't brought me here to try and get through as many puns as possible before the weekend?" She brought him back to reality despite making a joke.
"I actually hadn't considered that," he responded, but before she could protest any further he carried on. "But no, I haven't." She closed her mouth back up, no longer needing to argue against torture by puns, and waited for him to explain. "Can I ask you something?"
"That's why we're here, I suppose," she told him, smiling as a way of giving her consent.
"Do you have feelings for anyone?" It was a more brunt question than she was anticipating. She and Cat had grown closer this week but that still seemed like quite a personal topic. Sensing her hesitancy he went to withdraw his query, "Sorry, you don't need to answer that."
Hearing his retraction Marinette found herself remembering saying something similar to Adrien after trying to talk with him, and ultimately how helpful him being willing to share with her had been. She really wanted to help her partner process through this whole dilemma just as Adrien had been able to help her, and so decided to be honest with him. The only real hesitancy she had was that he might think she had feelings for him.
"No, it's ok, I just wasn't expecting that to be your question." She pulled her legs closer to make her more comfortable, physically or emotionally she wasn't sure, and did her best to answer his request clearly. "Yes, I have feelings for someone. But don't go getting any ideas, it isn't you."
He laughed, "the thought hadn't crossed my mind!" he told her. It honestly hadn't, he'd been so focused on his infatuation with Ladybug that he had never really stopped to consider what it would be like if someone else had feelings for him. He figured he'd know what it would be like to be in Ladybug's shoes if that ever were the case, and wondered how he would have felt if he had inadvertently found out Marinette did harbor feelings for him. Another hypothetical situation, but one he didn't see the use in dwelling on given how much he actually did have to try and figure out before tomorrow afternoon. "I won't ask you who, either."
"So why do you ask, if you don't actually want to know about them?" she probed.
"I mean I can ask, if you'd like me to?" Cat said as a non-answer, remembering that she had alluded to having heart issues of her own to work through. He suddenly questioned whether her 'comfort evening' the other night wasn't more than that after all. He had already told her he'd be willing to listen if she wanted to talk things through and even though he knew he was running out of time he wasn't going to break such a promise.
"No, don't worry, another issue for another day, perhaps," she explained, wondering what it would be like to share such information with Cat. "You do know him though," she told him.
Adrien wondered how she knew who he did and didn't know, but figured it must be someone who she'd been with some time when he'd seen her before. They had a big enough class to keep him guessing just on those, let alone anyone that she might know outside of school. He'd noticed she seemed to get on well with Juleka's brother too, but he couldn't reveal such knowledge to her because he hadn't noticed it while he was Cat Noir. "Do I now?" he answered, stressing the intrigue he felt.
"Seriously, Cat, why did you ask me if you weren't planning to ask me who it was?" Asking a question a second time was a good way to hint at moving on from a topic and he took the cue.
"Well it leads in to another question, possibly a harder one."
"Ok…?" she looked at him, eye brows raised to show her continuing lack of understanding.
"What would you do if you found out he didn't return your feelings, and actually liked someone else."
Yep, that was a harder question. Marinette knew why he was asking it, of course, but having to think about it as though it were her situation instead painted it in a different light. She realized that she had never truly tried to put herself in Cat's shoes, and how that must feel. She took a deep breath and let it back out slowly, allowing herself to consider the possibility of that happening. How would she feel? And more importantly, at least for answering Cat's question, what would she do? "I, um, I'm not sure," she said honestly. "Let me think about it".
Cat Noir nodded and leaned back against the tower again, looking up into the sky and allowing her the time she needed. When he did glance at her he could see a couple of wet spots on her cheeks and that, although her attention was elsewhere and she didn't notice him observing her, her face was going through a number of emotions. He immediately felt guilty for putting her through such an ordeal, knowing that he had had hours thinking it through while she was getting only minutes.
Marinette was emotionally sensitive this week to the point that this had made her feel things more quickly than she expected. Actually thinking through Adrien saying to her the things she had said to Cat made her understand the weight he must have been carrying, and she had never been able to appreciate that before. She suddenly found a whole new type of respect for him knowing that he had continued faithfully at her side in spite of how hard that rejection must have been. As she considered further what it would be like to learn Adrien actually had feelings for someone else, she felt guilty for having placed that on Cat for so long. She could appreciate now the undying hope he clung on to that she might develop feelings for him some day, because she knew she wouldn't be able to let go of that same kind of hope about Adrien.
Leaning forward slowly and placing a hand on her shoulder, he apologized. "I'm sorry, Princess, I didn't mean to upset you."
She dabbed at her cheeks and eyes with her sleeve and smiled at him. "No, it's ok. I'm not upset." The unbelieving look he gave her made her carry on. "It's probably good that I consider the possibility, and doing so has meant I think I can grasp some of what keeps you going at Ladybug's side." As she said it she suddenly recognized that that might reveal a knowledge she shouldn't have and wondered if she'd said too much.
"What do you mean?" Cat asked her, and her worry worsened.
Trying to cover her tracks she explained, "well it's no secret that you like Ladybug, but it doesn't seem like she feels the same for you." That much was public knowledge, based on things that had been said by the two of them on television and in interviews. "I'm guessing Ladybug told you she has feelings for someone else?" Cat's initial questions made this an obvious conclusion to come to, so she hoped he shouldn't be suspicious. "It's really good of you to be so supportive of her if this is what's been going on in your heart," she finished, feeling it for herself more truly than ever.
"Quite the little detective," he offered, "but isn't your Ladyblog friend the one who wants to be a journalist?" he joked. She looked at him in the way someone would look over the top of their glasses, as a wordless complaint at the condescension. "Thank you for your kind words, Princess," He said, shifting to a serious gratitude. "You're basically right though. So what would you do if you found that out about Mr. Whoever-he-is?"
"Cry for a long time," she answered. "But I guess I'd have to accept it. I want what's best for him, and if that isn't me I guess I'd have to accept that," she said and sighed, letting a judder out of her body, "otherwise I wouldn't be able to continue to have at least a friendship with him." She had more things to dwell on now, but knew she'd have to save thinking through her own problems for a little while longer.
"And if you knew who the other person was? Do you think you could handle seeing them together?" He was close to hearing all the answers he wanted to hear, hoping that they would help him process what would happen after the masks were off – assuming that happened.
"Cat, I don't know," she confessed. "That sounds horrible, to be honest, I don't think I'd want to be around it." A physical reminder like that would not be easily bearable she knew. "So how would a friendship continue?" she wondered aloud to herself, her eyes welling up a little again, before recognizing that Cat had heard her say it.
He always appreciated her honesty, but that wasn't what he was hoping to hear. His apprehension about what would happen tomorrow had risen. If Ladybug didn't want to reveal her identity then he might never see her again, but if they did tell each other who they were then would he really be able to spend time with her if she was in the arms of someone else? He wasn't sure he could handle either possibility. Oh how he wished it would be as simple as he had always imagined it being.
Marinette continued, though Cat had thought she'd reached the end. "I guess I'd learn to push through it, I couldn't let him out of my life, so I'd have to support him in it, no matter what it meant for me. I suppose our friendship would change, but he'd still be there at least, and I don't want to lose him no matter what."
That was a bit more positive, and hope revived in Cat's heart. It wasn't the bright shining happiness he dreamed of but it wasn't the worst possible thing it could be either. "I suppose you're right," he decided. "Thank you, Marinette."
"You're welcome Cat," she responded, "and thank you for talking to me about it, you've helped me too," she let him know. It lifted his spirit even further to know that this hadn't all been one-sided.
"Princess," he mused, "can we still meet up once I'm not Cat Noir?"
"What?" she asked him, surprised by the request.
"I've really enjoyed hanging out with you, and you've been an amazing friend," he informed her, "and it would be nice to keep doing this every so often. And I promise I won't grab you and jump on top of a building again!" She laughed at him. "In truth though, I don't really fancy never seeing you again either." It wasn't quite true, knowing he'd see her as Adrien, but it wouldn't be the same.
"Don't you have to keep your identity secret still, in case Paris does ever need you again?" she queried, trying to make sure her tone was a question and not a reminder. She knew, of course, that if he told Ladybug his identity then he would already have told her, but he didn't know that so she had to play along.
"Obviously if we don't end up sharing identities with each other then I guess we don't share them with anyone, and if we do share them then in general, yes we'll still keep them hidden. But if we do share then I reckon I'm allowed one exception," he reasoned. "I'll need to clear it with Ladybug of course, but she knows you and I think she trusts you too, so I reckon I can convince her it would be ok. I mean we know you're not Hawkmoth now…" he grinned.
"As if you ever thought I was," she said, backhanding him in the shin.
"Well?" he requested.
"Sure, but only if I get to come to your place in future, I don't want you eating through all the bakery's goods", she teased him in return.
