Toriel did her best to work up a smile as the other staff, many of them part of her extended family, began to enter the room. Some had been chatting while still out in the hall, but most fell into silence at the sight of her. She soon found herself pinned by the gazes of Papyrus, Undyne, Alphys, Bonnie the purple rabbit monster, Danny the tan cat monster, and Xena the human new hire. All of them looked at her with varying levels of concern, with Papyrus being the first to speak.
"MS. TORIEL? ARE YOU ALRIGHT?" He asked with a frown.
She blinked, and realized there were still tears in her eyes. Hot embarrassment flared up in her soul and she was quick to wipe them away, trying to make the action look as casual as possible, as though she were only adjusting her glasses.
"Y-yes I am fine, I was just... um... " She glanced briefly at Flowey, who was still facing away, curled up in his usual resting position.
"I was just thinking about something... and you know me, I can be such a silly old thing. Do not worry, I am fine. Do come in everyone." She finished, facing them all again with a smile that honestly hurt to force.
None looked all that convinced, and a few of them exchanged uneasy glances, but then they all continued filing into the room anyway. They pulled a few desks up around hers and sat in a somewhat misshapen semi-circle. It made her smile feel just a bit less fake. They didn't always get to eat together like this every school day, but the times where they could manage it were such a joy. Everyone began setting their lunches on the table, and she was surprised when Papyrus set the bag he'd been carrying in front of her.
"I COULDN'T HELP BUT NOTICE YOU FORGOT TO PACK YOURSELF A LUNCH MS. TORIEL." He said, standing at her side. "UNLESS OF COURSE YOU SOMEHOW STORED IT IN YOUR RATHER SMALL PURSE, WHICH IS HIGHLY IMPROBABLE. SO I TOOK IT UPON MYSELF TO PREPARE YOU SOMETHING IN THE SCHOOL KITCHENS."
It took her a second to realize he was right, she had forgotten to pack a lunch. That wasn't like her at all. She tried not to dwell on it too much as she shot the skeleton a thankful smile.
"Oh dear, I suppose I did forget… Thank you Papyrus, that was very thoughtful of you." She said, reaching to pick up the paper bag and pull out the contents.
What she found was a water bottle, a few plastic utensils, and of course, a plastic container full of spaghetti. She cringed a bit internally, but did not let it show on her face. With Papyrus watching her like this, she couldn't afford to hesitate without potentially hurting his feelings. Steeling herself as best she could, she opened the container, twirled some of the pasta on her fork and took a bite.
Now Papyrus had been improving with his cooking lately, but he still had trouble learning to distance himself from Undyne's… questionable spaghetti cooking practices. So it inevitably still tasted pretty bad, and was dreadfully cold, she strained to keep a smile on her face as she chewed it. The skeleton watched with practically sparkling sockets and she wasn't about to stomp on his enthusiasm.
"Its um… l-lovely, my friend. Thank you." She managed, swallowing the first bite with a small shudder.
Papyrus beamed, while the others in the room shot sympathetic glances her way, many having experienced this exact thing themselves. Everyone began eating after that, a comfortable level of amiable chatter beginning to fill the room. Papyrus went to sit at the desk beside hers, pulling out a sandwich from his own bag and taking a few, neat bites. He kept sending glances her way, so she kept eating the unsavory noodles, despite her soul's protests. I went on that way until Alphys, surprisingly, spoke up.
"U-um, Toriel. N-not to pry o-or anything, but you seem k-kinda… well... a-are you sure everything's okay?" The lizard monster stuttered, dipping her chopsticks into a cup of ramen.
Toriel noticed her cast an uneasy look at Flowey as she spoke. The flower monster turned slightly to glare sharply at her and Alphys looked away again abruptly. Toriel wasn't sure why, but the lizard monster looked slightly pale in that moment, and something like guilt shown in her eyes.
"Yah, you aren't looking so hot." Undyne chipped in from beside her girlfriend.
She no longer appeared quite as irritated with Toriel as before, probably more out of pity for her poor state than truly getting over her frustrations with her. Toriel wasn't foolish enough to think the fish monster wouldn't eventually drag her into an argument over Asgore at some point, but she was glad that it seemed postponed for the moment. She chewed and swallowed another bite of cold pasta before answering, feeling anxiety well up in her soul again.
"Do not worry about me, I just have been having some trouble sleeping lately... I am fine, really, just a bit tired." She lied, feeling a bit small under all their scrutinizing gazes.
She really wished all of them would stop looking at her that way. At least Asgore had to go back to his duties at the capitol building. If he were here drilling her with the same worried look she was getting from the others, she wasn't sure she'd be able to handle it.
Xena, the only human in the room, was the one to reply next. She was a short young woman with long black hair and a somewhat narrow eye shape like Frisk's. Toriel had only hired her a few months ago to work a couple odd jobs around the school. She was quite the blunt and stoic type, but had a soft spot for children that could honestly rival Toriel's. So it was fair to say the she and her got along well.
"You look like my sister after a night of partying, Miss." She said, a bit of a playful grin working its way on her face. "You sure you weren't out drinking with Mr. Bones or something last night?"
Toriel blinked at that, taking a second to remember that that was her nickname for Sans. Then she laughed lightly and shook her head.
"No, no. Nothing like that. I would certainly not drink the night before a school day, Xena. And besides, I told you, Sans is sick. That is why I asked you to cover his duties today." She said.
As she was talking, Bonnie slid a small paper bag over onto her desk, one the smelled quite delightful. She glanced down at it once she had finished speaking then back at the rabbit monster. The former shopkeeper, now head of cooking staff, gave her a wink then turned back to talk with Danny. Toriel picked up the small parcel and opened it to find a freshly baked cinnamon bunny. Its adorable pastry ears, chocolate chip eyes and icing topping and tail made it almost too cute to eat.
But she shot the rabbit monster a thankful smile and bit into the treat regardless. Needless to say, it was much easier on her taste buds than the spaghetti. She appreciated both shows of thoughtfulness on their behalf though, and felt a rush of warmth flow through her soul, so very grateful for the friends she'd found here on the surface. Their unflinching kindness towards her made the act of lying to them like this hurt even worse. Burying that thought, she turned her attention back to Xena as the human spoke up again.
"Yah, but I figured you were like, covering for the fact he was hung over or something." She chuckled, before taking a bite of her own sandwich.
"OH NO, MS. XENA, MY BROTHER IS MOST CERTAINLY ILL!" Papyrus cut in. "OR AT LEAST IS RECOVERING FROM AN ILLNESS. WORRY NOT THOUGH! HE SENT ME A TEXT JUST A SHORT WHILE AGO CONFIRMING THAT HE IS DOING MUCH BETTER AS OF TODAY."
Xena's grin widened a bit and she leaned back in her chair.
"Great, means I don't have to cover his shifts tomorrow." She replied with a shrug. "I'd much rather go back to recess duty. That bonehead makes all the stuff he does look so damn easy with all the napping he works in, but man, mopping the back entranceway took forever."
Danny was the next to speak, while still chewing a bite of some sort of fish he'd brought as his lunch. His tail swayed lazily behind him as he spoke.
"You know he uses like, magic shit and all that to help him do it right? He levitates stuff around and teleports from room to room, nearly made me leap outta my skin when he popped up behind me during my smoke break." The cat monster said, clamping his mouth shut in realization as those last few words escaped him.
He looked at Toriel nervously, and offered a weak grin.
"...W-which I definitely don't take anymore eheheheh…"
She narrowed her eyes a bit at him, trying to discern if she detected the stench of cigarettes from his general direction or not. There wasn't any, so she let him off with a warning glare this time. One of the conditions of her hiring him was that he give up that harmful habit. She'd been happy to give him a chance when he'd seemed so desperate for work away from Mettaton, but she couldn't very well have a regular smoker around the children.
"Language Daniel." She said sternly. "There is a child present."
Flowey, the child in question, rolled his eyes with a huff and curled up tighter. Usually he'd offer some snide comment, but he kept up his silence.
"S-sorry ma'am." Danny said, smile stretching wider but looking more like a grimace. The cat monster certainly had a knack for odd faces.
Toriel made a mental note to keep a better eye on him, and maybe talk to Sans about this incident Danny had mentioned later on. That is, if her weary mind could remember later. Stars, she was so tired… She finished off the cinnamon bunny with another bite, hoping that the sugar would give her some energy to get her through the day. In the momentary silence, a few eyes began to turn her way again. Not wanting there to be any chance of the conversation directing back to her poor state, she was quick to speak up with another re-directing question.
"So who is monitoring the children right now?" She asked, taking a mental note of who wasn't present.
Undyne noisily slurped up a noodle from hers and Alphys' shared ramen cup before answering Toriel's question, prompting quite the blush from the lizard monster.
"Don't worry bout it, Torch and Benji got it covered. The kids love those guys." She said, flashing one of her signature toothy grins.
Ah yes, the dragon and rabbit couple. Formal royal guardsmen if Toriel remembered correctly. Undyne had them assist her with PE class most days. They were quite the large and imposing pair, but Undyne was right, the kids did love them. Toriel nodded, content with that answer. Bonnie laughed quietly from the desk beside her.
"You did tell Torch he has to keep his shirt on right? Need I remind you of the incident from the field trip last month?" The rabbit monster asked with a knowing smile.
That brought a soft peal of laughter from most everyone in the room, save Flowey of course. That reflection on the humorous fiasco where a group of humans were horrified to find a shirtless dragon carrying multiple human and monster children through the museum sent the conversation into an amusing, comfortable direction for some time after that. Toriel was just relieved that the focus was no longer on her. Everyone finished their meals a short while later and began to get up to head back to their duties, especially Undyne, who would be handling the children next in PE class one recess was done.
Toriel bid them farewell for the time being, waving to them as they left and thanking them for their thoughtfulness. She was rather unsurprised when Papyrus remained in the room though, standing anxiously beside her desk. Her own uneasy emotions and weariness returned to her soul as well, and she had to mentally prepare herself for the inevitable conversation ahead. Turning, she met the skeleton's gaze expectantly, noticing Flowey eyeing them absently all the while. She did her best to ignore him.
"MS. TORIEL… MAY I UM… TROUBLE YOU FOR A QUICK CHAT?" He asked, wringing his gloved hands together a bit.
Truthfully she wanted to say no, to please leave and let her maybe put her head down for five minutes at least. She had had enough exhausting conversations for one day surely. But she couldn't do that, not to the endlessly sweet Papyrus. So she put on that forced smile and nodded as though unbothered by the question.
"Yes of course, my friend. What is it?" She asked, moving to her desk and indicating for him to sit down in the chair beside her.
He obliged with a small smile, sitting beside her as she did the same. He cleared his metaphorical throat and cast a somewhat uneasy glance at the eavesdropping Flowey before speaking again
"WELL… I'VE JUST... I'VE BEEN SO WORRIED! AND I WANTED TO CHECK WITH YOU ABOUT WHAT'S GOING ON WITHOUT THE OTHERS HERE, IN CASE IT'S... EASIER THAT WAY?" He said, still rather uncertainly.
Toriel blinked in somewhat feigned confusion, but kept her smile in place.
"Oh? Why is that? Sans texted you, did he not? He is doing much better. No need to worry, I am sure he will be back to his usual funnybones self soon enough." She assured him, clinging to some hope that that was indeed what he had meant.
But Papyrus shook his head, meeting her gaze more confidently. That confidence was not reflected in her own eyes surely and she felt her claws dig into her lap as her paws stiffened.
"NO, , MY CONCERNS AT THE MOMENT ARE NOT FOR MY BROTHER, AT LEAST... NOT THE MOST PRESSING ONES. I KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT WITH HIM. NO, MY CURRENT WORRIES ARE FOR YOU MS. TORIEL."
Well, there it was… No way she could get out of this now, with how tired she was she knew she wouldn't be able to think of any sort of convincing excuse. Her small grin faltered a bit, and she wasn't sure how to respond. The skeleton noticed her hesitation though and went on.
"YOU LOOKED LIKE YOU HAD BEEN… CRYING BEFORE WE CAME IN… AND EVEN NOW YOU SEEM TERRIBLY EXHAUSTED. I… I HAVE NEVER SEEN YOU LOOK LIKE THIS." He paused momentarily, then straightened up with a stronger voice. "AS YOUR FRIEND, I FEEL IT IS MY DUTY TO ASK WHAT IS TROUBLING YOU AND WHAT, I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, CAN DO TO HELP."
Toriel's breath caught in her throat a bit and she swallowed hard.
"I…" She croaked out, noticing Flowey now watching with piqued interest. The malicious glee was absent from his face now though, only leaving… curiosity.
"I am grateful for your concern Papyrus." She managed after a moment. "I assure you though, I will be alright. I have just been having a hard time with some personal things going on. I have not gotten the sleep i should have. And with what happened with Sans falling ill and getting hurt and all… It has me a bit out of sorts I am afraid."
Papyrus tapped a gloved hand against his lower jaw and narrowed his sockets a bit. He leaned forward slightly as if to get a better look at her.
"HMM… ARE YOU SURE YOU HAVEN'T CAUGHT MY BROTHER'S ILLNESS?" He asked. "YOU WERE CARING FOR HIM DURING THE WORST OF IT, AND IT WOULD EXPLAIN A LOT."
Oh, if only he knew the irony of that question and of the true answer to it. In a way, she had caught her dear skeleton's illness. The great burden that ailed his soul now ailed hers as well. But Papyrus could not know that, not from her at least, so she shook her head. It worried her just how accustomed to lying she was becoming.
"No, I am not ill Papyrus. I have no fever or any of the symptoms he did. I am just really tired... I will be alright. Do not worry about me, okay?" She assured him once again, smile beginning to hurt to keep up as before.
His frown deepened and something truly sad and even… frustrated? showed in his expression before he let out a deep sigh. It was a sight that was so unlike the usually exuberant, cheerful skeleton that it brought a pang of pain to her soul. A melancholy smile appeared on his face then, and he met her gaze again.
"YOU KNOW… YOU REALLY DO SOUND JUST LIKE MY BROTHER." He said in a sad, softer voice. "I COULDN'T POSSIBLY COUNT THE NUMBER OF TIMES HE'S SAID THOSE EXACT WORDS TO ME… EVEN WHEN IT'S OBVIOUS HE IS MISERABLE OVER SOMETHING, EVEN WHEN I WAKE UP TO HEAR HIM SCREAMING OR TEARING UP HIS ROOM DUE TO SOME NIGHTMARE… HE ALWAYS GIVES ME THOSE SAME WORDS."
He let out a humorless chuckle, almost sounding like his brother as well for a moment.
"HONESTLY… I WAS HOPING YOU WOULD BE THE ONE TO RUB OFF ON HIM, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND…"
Those words hit Toriel hard, like a strike from some wicked set of claws… or a… slash from a knife. He was right of course, she had abandoned many of her own principles to keep Sans' secret like she was. And she really did sound like him… Saying pretty much the same words that he had to her that day when Toriel had first decided to get him to talk to her. Oh how the tables had turned. It hadn't really occurred to her until Papyrus had spelled it out for her. And her child had noticed it too… their words from the previous night came back to her.
(You look... Your eyes are sad. And tired… Like... Sans'...)
By the stars, Flowey was right. She really was a hypocrite, in more ways than one. But there was nothing to be done for it, she had already made her peace with that. Even with this realization weighing down on her, she would never break her promise. Still, the guilt she felt for putting Papyrus through this when he truly didn't deserve it was oh so painful, and it burned like a hot ball of flame in her chest. He was just as she had been, just genuinely wanting to help and be there for those he loved. Asgore had expressed similar desires as well, even though she didn't wish to think about it. This web of lies was hurting everyone caught in its sticky threads, but she could not be the one to free any of them from it.
"I am sorry, my friend." She said simply, the exhaustion leaking into her voice beyond her control.
She hung her head a bit and no other words would come. Her claws curled into the fabric of her dress as a wave of self deprecating thoughts washed over her. After a moment Papyrus got up slowly from his chair and closed the distance between them to wrap her in a tight hug. She blinked in surprise, not expecting it, but then gratefully reciprocated the hug, letting her eyes fall shut.
His soul held no contempt, only radiating out feelings of warmth that could rival sunbeams on a clear summer day. He really was too good for this world, that Papyrus. All the endless gushing over his brother Sans had done those early days at the Ruins door had not at all been an exaggeration. Papyrus was worthy of all that praise and more in her eyes.
"IT IS ALRIGHT, MS. TORIEL." The skeleton said in a stronger voice, though it still carried a faint defeated quality. "I THINK I UNDERSTAND... CAN YOU AT LEAST… TELL ME WHAT I CAN DO TO HELP? FOR YOU… AND FOR MY BROTHER?"
Toriel's smile became smaller, but far more genuine as she gave her friend a light squeeze. Her eyes slid open again as she replied.
"Just keep being yourself, my friend, that is truly the best thing you can do. Me and your brother are both going through some hard times right now, things that… cannot be shared, not yet at least. But your kindness and positivity are a great comfort to both of us. And for your brother specifically… You mean everything to him Papyrus, you really do."
More words building inside her seared her tongue like hot embers. And though it opened up a pit of anxiety in her soul, she felt she had to say something else, something that Flowey's words had resparked in her mind. Her tone sobered up to become more serious and she forced the words out.
"My friend… If Sans ever tells you something that seems… strange or even impossible. Please try to believe him regardless… alright? It would mean so much to him. Let him come to you when he is ready though... That is all I can say, I am afraid. I am sorry..."
Papyrus was quiet for a moment, somewhat of a rarity for him. Then he gently pulled away and gave her a small nod once he was facing her. He sank back into the chair before he spoke once again.
"ALRIGHT… I WILL BE SURE TO KEEP THAT IN MIND. THANK YOU MS. TORIEL." He said, looking a little placated at least.
She managed another small smile and laid her paws back in her lap. Her eyes were briefly drawn over to Flowey by instinct, wondering how he was taking all this. But the flower monster was again facing away, curled up in his pot as if asleep. Papyrus' voice drew her gaze back to him before she could think too much about that.
"I SUPPOSE I SHOULD BE ANGRY OR JEALOUS IN A WAY… THAT HE SEEMS TO HAVE CONFIDED IN YOU SOMETHING AND NOT ME… BUT I AM NOT! NOT… COMPLETELY ANYWAY." He said, voice now far closer to his usual tone.
Toriel tilted her head slightly with a questioning look.
"Oh? And why is that?"
His grin widened, and a faint mischievous glint was visible in his sockets.
"BECAUSE! IF IT WASN'T ME, IT WAS CERTAINLY GOING TO BE YOU, MS. TORIEL. HE IS… PROTECTING MY FEELINGS BECAUSE HE FEELS THAT IS HIS DUTY AS MY BIG BROTHER, BUT HE DOES NOT HAVE THOSE SAME RESERVATIONS WITH YOU. YOU… MAY INDEED BE MORE CAPABLE OF UNDERSTANDING HIS STRUGGLES THAN EVEN I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AM. THOUGH IT PAINS ME TO ADMIT IT."
His smile faltered for a moment, but then he managed to regain it, and that glint of mischief grew more pronounced.
"NEVERTHELESS! I AM GLAD. FOR IT SHOWS YOU TWO TRULY ARE GROWING CLOSER THAN EVER. AFTER ALL, IT IS ONLY NATURAL HE'D FEEL COMFORTABLE OPENING UP TO THE MONSTER HE LOVES." He said, drawing out that word in particular and shooting her a wink.
She had seen it coming this time, but she still felt her face heat up at that. Oh stars, did he have to be so blunt? At least he hadn't been using his usual volume of voice. If this had been a normal day, she would have shot him a feigned look of annoyance, if only to dissuade any potential further discussion on the topic. But she was far too tired for that, and truthfully, she felt like facing the issue rather than continue dancing around it. It was hard enough keeping Sans' secret, adjusting to having her entire perception of reality altered and dealing with regaining these lost memories. Keeping her not so hidden feelings under wraps with all this constant prodding was only more stress she really didn't need right now.
"Papyrus…" She said, expression far more weary than flustered. "Why is it that you want me and your brother to... be together?"
Her lack of a more extreme reaction seemed to surprise the skeleton and his more playful expression dissipated. He blinked at her a few times before seeming to ponder the question.
"W-WOWIE, I WAS NOT EXPECTING YOU TO… ER... WELL..." He trailed off and tapped his glove against his lower jaw.
"I SUPPOSE IT'S SIMPLY BECAUSE… YOU MAKE MY BROTHER HAPPY MS. TORIEL, AND THAT'S NO SMALL FEAT. HE'S NEVER HAD SUCH A CLOSE FRIEND BEFORE, THAT I KNOW OF AT LEAST. YOU WERE THE ONLY OTHER PERSON BESIDES ME THAT HE SEEMED TO REALLY... INVEST TIME INTO YOU KNOW? EVEN WHEN I DIDN'T WHO IT WAS HE WAS SNEAKING OFF TO SEE EVERY DAY."
A fondness made the edges of his sockets crinkle a bit, and his smile softened at the edges. Toriel felt her soul warm slightly as well, somewhat amused at how he had phrased that.
"HE TALKS ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME YOU KNOW, AND HE SEEMS TO ACTUALLY FEEL MOTIVATED TO DO THINGS WHEN IT INVOLVES YOU. HE TAKES AN ACTIVE INTEREST IN YOUR INTERESTS AND WANTS TO LEARN THEM. LATELY HE'S REALLY BEEN STRUGGLING MORE THAN USUAL AND I DO NOT KNOW WHY… NOR WOULD HE ADMIT TO ME THE REASON… BUT HE DID TELL ME LAST NIGHT THAT YOU HAVE MADE WHAT HE'S GOING THROUGH EASIER."
Now that did make Toriel's eyes widen a bit, surprised Sans had told his brother that, with what questions that statement could had led to. Regardless, the sentiment behind it made the warmth in her soul increase and her weary eyes softened as her smile grew more genuine. Papyrus clearly noticed, and went on with even more of a grin.
"AND EVEN THOUGH I HAVE NOT KNOWN YOU AS LONG AS MY BROTHER, I SEE THAT BEING WITH HIM MAKES YOU HAPPY AS WELL! YET DESPITE YOUR GROWING AFFECTIONS YOU BOTH CONTINUALLY REFUSE TO TAKE THE NEXT OBVIOUS STEP IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP, WHICH WOULD ONLY INCREASE YOUR HAPPINESS! THAT IS WHY I DECIDED TO SUBTLY ENCOURAGE YOU TWO TO ACT UPON YOUR OBVIOUS ROMANTIC FEELINGS."
She had to bite her lip a bit to keep from laughing at that. "Subtle" indeed. Perhaps by Papyrus standards. He seemed to pick up on her amusement though, and went on with a slightly less bombastic tone. His expression took on some of the same mild irritation that he had often displayed when faced with one of his brother's many, many puns.
"PLUS, YOU ARE PERHAPS THE ONLY OTHER PERSON, MONSTER OR HUMAN, THAT SHARES HIS TERRIBLE SENSE OF HUMOR AND SINCERELY LAUGHS AT HIS JOKES. THAT HAS TO COUNT FOR SOMETHING RIGHT?"
The laugh she'd been holding back escaped then with a snort and she giggled lightly into her paw. Papyrus shook his head a bit with exasperation, but his smile returned.
"I suppose I cannot argue with that." She said, finally gaining a smile that was legitimate.
Papyrus' sockets seemed to sparkle a bit and he leaned forward expectantly.
"SO, YOU'LL TELL HIM OF YOUR FEELINGS? YOU WILL ALLOW THIS SPARK BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU TO BLAZE FORTH INTO A GREAT INFERNO OF EVERLASTING LOVE?!" He asked excitedly, dramatics on full display.
She blinked then quickly shushed him, feeling her cheeks heat up again and glancing at the door nervously. There was no sign of anyone outside the room and she sighed faintly in relief. She shot a quick look at Flowey as well, expecting another reaction of disgust, but he remained curled up and silent. Now assured no one had heard that outburst, she took a deep breath and composed herself, facing the skeleton again.
"Papyrus... I…" She swallowed, trying to find the right words and thoroughly cursing her exhaustion all the while.
"I do care for your brother deeply, you know that… and… yes… I may indeed have… those sort of feelings for him... But you must understand, my friend, he and I are both struggling with many things right now. Though I feel shame for it, I still have not recovered fully from what happened with Asgore. Such heartache is not easily mended, especially with how long we were together. ... And Sans… he is likely not in the right state of mind to consider something like that right now… It would not be right of me to spring such a thing on him."
She paused, eyes becoming a touch despondent.
"Besides… There is no guarantee that he feels the same way… he may not desire something like a committed relationship, and that is fine. Risking damaging our current relationship would be a terrible misstep on my part. Now is just not the time to fret over such… uncertain things. I hope you understand, my friend."
The disingenuousness of her words made her soul churn a bit as they left her. With her continual bold acts of selfishness on her part in regards to indulging the wishes of her lonely old soul, she really had no right to say any of this. But she couldn't let Papyrus catch on to the fact the two of them were skirting the line between friends and… something more, far more than he realized.
The skeleton stared back at her, looking frustrated but keeping his mouth firmly shut. Perhaps a little too firmly, as though he were struggling to keep himself from saying something. But then he relented with a sigh and frowned in a manner that was almost a pout.
"I DO MS. TORIEL..." He said in a quieter tone. "THOUGH, I MUST SAY, YOU SHOULD NOT GET TOO WRAPPED UP IN DOUBTS OF MY BROTHER'S FEELINGS FOR YOU. I HAVE… QUITE FIRM SUSPICIONS THAT YOUR WORRIES IN THAT REGARD ARE MOST UNWARRANTED."
There was more of that "Papyrus subtlety" at work and the implications reignited a flutter of somewhat mixed emotions in her soul. She did what she could to ignore them for the moment though, far too tired to give them the proper consideration they deserved. She allowed that spark of warmth to remain in her soul though, letting it quiet her anxieties and give her strength as she had before.
"Alright… I will remember that, my friend, thank you. Just... give it time, okay? When things have settled more for the both of us… There is a chance I will consider the possibility of-"
"REALLY?!" He interrupted her, sockets sparkling again.
Recognizing his inopportune volume though, he shut his mouth with a clack and shot her an apologetic grin. She offered another small, tired smile in reply and nodded as an answer to his question. It seemed more than enough to please Papyrus, who practically vibrated in place as he struggled to contain all his ecstatic emotion.
"WOWIE! THAT'S WONDERFUL! THEN IT IS EVEN MORE IMPERATIVE THAT WE GET YOU BOTH BACK TO BETTER SPIRITS AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!" He said, standing from his chair in a flash. "TO ACCOMPLISH THAT, I DECLARE YOU BOTH SHALL RECEIVE NO LESS THAN THREE GREAT HUGS FROM THE GREAT PAPYRUS A DAY! DOCTOR'S ORDERS!"
With that, she once again found herself wrapped in a hug from the skeleton, squeezed so tight it nearly stole the breath from her lungs. She still managed a somewhat shaky smile though and gave him a thankful squeeze in return.
"V-very well then, I am sure that will be a great help indeed." She managed, voice a bit strained from the lack of air. "Thank you, my friend."
He released her and Toriel tried not to make a show of gasping now that she could breathe again. Papyrus struck a pose as he stepped back, grinning and putting his hands on his hips.
"OF COURSE! IT IS THE LEAST I CAN DO FOR MY DEAR BROTHER, AND MY POTENTIAL "SISTER IN LAW" NYEH HEH HEH!"
She sighed in response to that, but her exasperated smile remained. Oh Stars, did he have to say it like that? She supposed it shouldn't surprise her, given that it was Papyrus, but it still managed to leave her fairly flustered yet again. She cleared her throat in a pointed manner, and the skeleton looked at her sheepishly, bravado fading somewhat. With his attention refocused, she was determined to take over the conversation.
"Anyway…" She cut in, deliberately moving away from the previous topic. "I did want to ask you something too Papyrus, if that is alright with you of course."
He sat down again as dutifully as one of her students, nodding quickly. She worked a smile back on her face, wanting to ensure her question came off as casual as possible.
"You mentioned you spoke with your brother last night. Did everything go alright with that? You were understandably pretty upset when you got home from your trip."
Truthfully she was fishing for any information she could get about that conversation she had picked up on just out of earshot the previous night. Had Sans been able to convince his brother of their ruse, or was there suspicion there like with Flowey? She knew now Sans had said some pretty risky things regarding her role in all this, in an effort to commend her of course, but still perhaps not the most careful approach. In the interest of keeping their stories straight, it would be best if she could find out what else had been discussed.
"YES IT WAS FINE." Papyrus said, thankfully seeming just as casual about the question. "WELL… HE DID TELL ME IN UNNECESSARY DETAIL JUST HOW ILL HE'D BEEN. I SWEAR HE CAN BE SO GROSS SOMETIMES! AND THEN EXPLAINED TO ME THE SPECIFICS ABOUT HOW HE'D BEEN HURT... AND WHAT YOU DID TO HEAL HIM AFTERWARDS… OH! AND HE TOLD ME GB WAS THE ONE WHO MESSED UP OUR BATHROOM!"
That last part made her ears prick up a bit, being that it was the only part that seemed new to her. Papyrus' expression became vaguely irritated and he crossed his arms.
"I'VE TOLD HIM TO KEEP THOSE PESKY BLASTERS IN THE POCKET DIMENSION WHERE THEY BELONG, THEY ARE NOT SAFE! NOT TO MENTION INCREDIBLY RUDE… EVEN IF IT WAS AN ACCIDENT, HE SHOULD KNOW BETTER NOT TO LET THOSE THINGS LOOSE IN THE HOUSE! I DEARLY APOLOGIZE FOR HIS LACK OF PROPER CONSIDERATION, MS. TORIEL."
She blinked, trying to put the pieces of this together in her mind. So Sans had claimed the damage to the bathroom was GB's doing? That seemed more than a little unfair, given that the blaster had been quite well-behaved and even vitally helpful throughout all this. The poor thing would be terribly saddened to be accused of wrongdoing like this. Though it was likely that Sans had used that excuse in a moment of feeling cornered. Perhaps he had even explained this to his blaster? She'd definitely have to talk to him about it later. Nevertheless, she had to ensure that she walked in step with what he said, so she just gave a small nod in recognition.
"It was only an accident, my friend." She replied with a smile. "GB is a truly kind, if clumsy creature. We have the funds to repair the damages, do try not to be too hard on him."
Papyrus huffed and Toriel saw some nervousness in his expression for a moment before he seemed to will it away.
"I SUPPOSE YOU ARE RIGHT… BUT STILL, HE REALLY SHOULD BE MORE CAREFUL. THOSE BLASTERS… THEIR POWERS ARE NOT SOMETHING TO BE TAKEN LIGHTLY…" He said, in an oddly serious tone.
It sounded quite strange coming from Papyrus of all monsters, much more akin to a tone his brother would use. But he was quick to bounce back to usual self again, deflecting from the topic quickly.
"ANYWAY! ENOUGH OF THAT TALK!" He declared, bringing his gloved hands together. "I HAVE ANOTHER IDEA OF HOW TO HELP YOU GIVEN YOUR CURRENT STATE OF CLEAR FATIGUE!"
He stood up and picked up her schedule from her desk before she could even react, looking it over with narrowed sockets before flashing her a smile.
"I SHALL ASSIST YOU DIRECTLY IN THE CLASSROOM TODAY BY AIDING YOU WITH THE SPEAKING PORTION OF THE LECTURE! I ALREADY THOROUGHLY STUDIED THE TOPICS OF DISCUSSION FOR THIS WEEK AND WITH THE TWO OF US WORKING TOGETHER, SURELY WE CAN MAKE IT MORE INSIGHTFUL FOR THOSE YOUNG MINDS THAN EVER BEFORE!"
In comparison to his rapid fire speech, Toriel's weary mind took a bit to process what he'd said. Once she did though, she blinked in surprise, truly touched by the gesture.
"Oh… really? That is so very kind of you Papyrus. Are you sure? I would not want you to have to neglect your other duties for my sake…" She said, now unable to keep a small smile off her face.
The skeleton beamed and nodded without hesitation, offering a hand to help her up.
"CERTAINLY! I HAVE FINISHED MY APPOINTMENTS FOR THE DAY, JUST HAD A CHAT WITH THE CHILD GOOBERT ABOUT HOW HE CAN RISE ABOVE HIS INCLINATIONS TOWARDS PICKING ON OTHERS TO MAKE UP FOR HIS OWN LACK OF SELF CONFIDENCE WITH PROPER SUPPORT. THE SUPPORT OF THE GREAT PAPYRUS OF COURSE! IT IS NO TROUBLE AT ALL TO ASSIST YOU WITH THIS."
Now standing, she felt her soul swell with gratitude once more. There was a prodding prideful part of her that wanted to reject the help as to not seem weak, but she was far too tired to deny it. Plus, she was enough of a hypocrite as it was. Refusing to accept the help she knew she needed would just be one hypocrisy too far at this point. She gave his hand a thankful squeeze before releasing it.
"Well I thank you then, my friend. I really appreciate it." She said, resting her free hand briefly over her soul.
His smile softened at that and then he, oddly, saluted her as though she were some army general, or a certain former captain of the royal guard. It was a gesture that did not sit all that well with her, well meaning as it was. She did not like being reminded of her past royal status, it came with too many memories and old sorrows for her liking. The brief moment of somberness that gripped her then drove her to again look at Flowey, who still had yet to say a word since their own discussion earlier.
He was curled in the same position he had been, face hidden beneath drooping petals. She knew not if he truly slept or simply had lost the will to interact with them. Either way, it brought an small pang of confused emotion to her soul. Papyrus followed her gaze and looked as though he wished to say something to the flower monster upon looking at him. But as his mouth opened, he seemed to think better of it and shut it again, expression difficult to read. He then shook his head and shot her another grin before leaving her side and beginning to move the desks back to their proper places.
The task was completed so quickly that Toriel barely had enough time to formulate what she wanted to say next before he had finished, reflecting back on that earlier uneasy feeling as she spoke.
"Oh… and Papyrus?"
He paused in response, resting his hands on the chair of the last desk he'd returned to the rows.
"YES, MS. TORIEL?"
She offered a smile that was more bittersweet than before, but still mostly legitimate. Her tone softened as she went on, adjusting her glasses as she did.
"You do not have to call me that." She said. "I am Ms. Toriel to my students. You are my family, you can... just call me Toriel if you would like."
That seem to take Papyrus by surprise, and his grin faltered somewhat as though he wasn't sure about the idea. It was likely that, like many monsters, detaching from his image of her as a figure of authority was difficult. But eventually he nodded, smiling brightly once more.
"OKAY THEN TORIEL! SOUNDS GREAT TO ME! NOW LET'S GET READY TO ASSIGN THAT READING ASSIGNMENT! I CAN HANDLE THE MAIN PORTION OF THAT NO PROBLEM!" He declared, moving back to her side.
Again, a wonderful warmth surrounded her soul, making her scarlet eyes shine slightly. With everything that had happened today, from her friends' displays of thoughtfulness, Frisk's attempt to cheer her up after her discussion with Asgore, this enlightening talk with Papyrus and even the conclusion of her confrontation with Flowey… It all made her feel as though she had gained love, the good kind. After living alone for so long and losing everyone in her family one way or another, it had been a very long time indeed since she'd felt that way. Those feelings mixed with her exhaustion nearly wanted to bring tears to her eyes again, but she funneled them into a newfound spark of energy instead, giving the skeleton a nod.
"Yes, let's do it my friend." She said with more confidence, with a rare contraction leaving her lips as well.
With that, the two of them set to work preparing the next lecture of the day, returning to a more normal routine and forgetting their heavier discussion for the time being.
The rest of the school day went by in somewhat of a haze for her. With Papyrus' help, she was able to get through the final lectures of the day, allowing the skeleton to take over for her enough to keep herself from becoming potentially overwhelmed with exhaustion. It became more and more clear as the hours stretched on that her friend's help was more of a potential necessity then she had previously considered. By the stars she was just so… tired.
Some of the more attentive students seemed to notice too, sending glances her way that were full of concern or confusion. But she managed to finish off the day's lessons and assign the week's homework without a hitch. Some part of her worried it was partially due to her poor state that even the more occasionally rowdy and disruptive students were on their best behavior, as though out of sympathy for her. By the time the school's bell rang and signaled the school day's end, she was about ready to pass out where she stood. Not unlike how Sans did now that she thought about it, though she doubted she would be able to remain on her feet while asleep like he could.
Her eyes felt painfully heavy as she waved goodbye to the last student at the front entrance. A small Whimsun child named Vim, who had been waiting with Toriel and Papyrus for their parents to fetch them at the front steps. Now they were fluttering off alongside two Whimsalots, offering a shy wave back to her before they all flew away. Assured then that the students were all safely seen off, she sluggishly turned to head back inside, intending to straighten up the classroom and meet with the staff before she departed like she always did. But Frisk and Papyrus stepped in front of her, blocking her way. She stopped, looking between the two of them in confusion.
"TORIEL, I INSIST YOU HEAD HOME NOW AND GET SOME REST." Papyrus said, crossing his arms firmly. "I WILL BE HAPPY TO FINISH UP THINGS HERE."
Frisk nodded in agreement, holding Flowey's pot against their chest. The flower monster inside still refused to meet her gaze, hanging over slightly so that his petals hid his face. He had kept up his silence for the rest of the school day, driving Toriel to feel more true concern for him. But Frisk had not seemed surprised by his sudden sullen behavior when they'd returned to the classroom. That struck her as somewhat odd, but it lessened her anxiety regarding the flower monster as well.
Even though she wanted nothing more than to just agree with them and head home, she couldn't help but feel bad about all the trouble Papyrus and the others were going through at her expense. So some of her stubbornness remained, driving her to press forward.
"I appreciate your concern you two, but you have already done more than enough for me today. I can handle locking up at least." She said, cursing the strain leaking into her voice.
Both of them looked a little less confident at that, not usually ones to openly disobey her, but held their ground regardless. Exhaustion born frustration wished to sharpen her tone in response, but she controlled it as best she could.
"Come now, stand aside, there is no need for this. I will be fine." She said in a slightly harder voice.
The two shared a nervous glance, and she could tell her order was close to withering their resolve. Before they cracked and heeded her words though, another voice spoke up, slightly startling them all.
"Go home Toriel." It said, and her eyes were drawn downward to see it had come from Flowey.
He drew himself up a bit, finally facing her with a dull expression. She could see some of her own mental weariness in his small black eyes.
"You look like you're going to keel over any second now." The flower monster grumbled. "Stop being an idiot and go rest before you make even more of a fool of yourself than usual."
Toriel blinked down a him in surprise, his words working their way through her weary mind for a moment. They were harsh as always but… somehow seemed to her like some form of… concern? At least the most that would pass for concern coming from Flowey. It confused her deeply, not helped by her current poor state, but it still was enough to snap her out of her posturing and see the reality of his words. He was right of course, and they all knew it. She sighed and crossed her arms.
"Very well then, I see i have been outvoted here…" She sighed, closing her eyes briefly before glancing at Frisk. "Will you and Flowey be coming back with me then? Or would you like to stay here until Papyrus goes home?"
Her child met her question by reaching up and tugging on Papyrus' scarf, prompting the skeleton to lay a hand on their head.
"I MAY HAVE PROMISED TO TAKE FRISK TO GET NICECREAM IF THEY ASSISTED ME WITH LOCKUP DUTIES." Papyrus admitted with a somewhat sheepish grin. "I WILL TAKE THEM BOTH STRAIGHT HOME AFTERWARDS TORIEL, OF COURSE."
An exasperated little smile appeared at her face at that. There they went again, conspiring in secret in regards to her. It wasn't something she could truly reprimand without once more acknowledging her own hypocrisy, but it still vexed her even so. Now that Papyrus was aware of her feelings regarding his brother, she could only imagine what kind of potential mischief they may get up to. She knew he wouldn't divulge what she'd told him to her child, nor do anything too drastic, but she doubted he had the self control to cease his prodding completely. Defeated, for better or worse, she gave a small nod.
"Alright, have fun then, text me if you need anything or if anything comes up with the others, okay Papyrus?"
The skeleton gave her a dramatic thumbs up and ruffled Frisk's hair a bit with his other hand.
"YOU GOT IT!" He assured her, before turning to look back down at the human child and Flowey.
"ALRIGHT YOU TWO LET'S GET TO WORK TIDYING THIS PLACE UP FOR TOMORROW, OKAY?"
Frisk nodded with an affirmative sound, but Flowey just shot one last long glance at Toriel before settling back in his pot with an irritated groan.
"Whatever…" Was his only verbal reply.
With that, Frisk and Papyrus said their goodbyes to her and headed back inside. The great black doors shut with a deep, resounding noise, leaving her alone outside. She lingered for a few moments, gazing up at the insignia of the delta rune on the doors. The soft spring breeze ruffling her fur and dress snapped her out of her momentary trance and began the walk back to the van, willing up enough energy within her to safely drive herself home.
Thankfully, their home's location outside of Newer Home's main center meant that there was little traffic to worry about. The drive went by in somewhat of a blur, and she found herself parked at home before she even seemed to realize it. She trudged up the driveway and opened the door, feeling heavier with fatigue by the second. It was only a little past three in the afternoon but she felt like she had just endured an entire week of school days already. Once again, it seemed her loved one's concerns were right after all.
It made negative emotions boil within her soul once again, but her own weariness kept them from truly taking hold. Once inside, she kicked the door closed behind her with a foot and headed straight for the living room. She didn't even want to make the trek to her own bed at this point, she just wanted to head to the nearest acceptable sleeping location and collapse, making the couch her current target. She was so wrapped up in that mission, she nearly didn't notice the couch's other occupants until she was right in front of it.
"h-hey, tori…" Sans said looking up at her with a somewhat surprised expression. "you're… back early."
His voice and the sight of him snapped her back to the present and she finally took in the scene before her. Sans was sitting against on the couch under one of her throw blankets, remote in hand. He definitely looked a lot better than he had last night, eyelights fairly bright and his signature grin looking rather genuine as he gazed up at her. Two empty pie tins sat on the coffee table, along with a bottle of ketchup.
She could hear the sounds of a news broadcast coming from the tv behind her, going on about "concerns" regarding monsters potentially moving into high class human neighborhoods. But what was most surprising to see was that a familiar small white dog was sitting on Sans' lap, tail wagging wildly at the sight of her. She blinked then forced her mouth to work again, meeting the skeleton's gaze.
"Oh, sorry Sans… I… Yes, I am back early." She said, hating how absent and weary she sounded. "Good to see you looking better…"
Her eyes drifted back to the dog and he let out a single happy bark.
"I see we have a… guest."
Sans' grin widened at that and he gave the pup a scratch behind the ear.
"yah sorry, he kinda just… showed up when i dozed off earlier. woke up to this little rascal's tongue all over my face. didn't have the heart to kick him out." He said, eyelights shining with amusement as the dog's eyes closed in contentment.
She was unsure how to feel about the animal's presence in her home. He had gained the nickname "The Annoying Dog" for a reason after all, he tended to get up to all kinds of mischief around Newer Home. He also had a strange tendency to appear without warning and disappear just as quickly, no matter the location. She remembered well how he had stolen and presumably eaten her phone back in the Underground, despite there being no real way for a dog to get into the Ruins. He was a strange one, that was for sure. But Sans did seem happy for the animal's presence, so she decided there was no harm in letting him stay for now. She didn't have the energy to protest much anyway.
Sans clearly noticed her poor state and scooted over on the couch a bit, patting the cushions beside him. He kept a grin on his face, but she could see concern in the lights of his eyes. She didn't need any further invitation. Without a word, she all but fell back onto the couch. Relief flooded through her the moment she relaxed into the plush cushions and her eyes fell shut almost immediately. They fluttered back open though when Sans' voice spoke up from her side, and she felt his hand rest cautiously against her arm.
"hey... you alright tori? you look exhausted…" He said, moving a little closer and laying part of the blanket over her lap.
Stars above, she really didn't want to try and have another conversation right now. She just wanted to let sleep take her, strange nightmare memories be damned. But upon turning her head to look at him, she felt some strength return to her soul, washing over it like a wave of cool water. Though it was a struggle, she pushed herself up a bit to face him and managed a weak smile.
"I am just… very worn out…" She admitted, sluggishly leaning forward to set her purse on the coffee table in front of them. "A lot happened today… and on top of everything else I am afraid I am rather drained at this point. I apologize for my lack of a... proper greeting."
Sans' grin waned a bit at that and she could see traces of guilt in his eyelights again. As she settled back against the couch, she was surprised when he hesitantly moved towards her to rest his hand against her forehead. She blinked in surprise, but then her smile warmed a bit in amusement, realizing what he was doing.
"I am not sick, Sans." She assured him, weary eyes shining a bit. "The universe is not proving to be quite that ironic yet, thankfully."
That placated him somewhat and he pulled his hand back with a small grin, resting it back on the dog's head again.
"yah well, can't blame me for checking." He said with a small shrug of his shoulders. "still, sorry to hear that you had such a ruff day."
He said that last part while squishing the dog's cheeks, resulting in quite an amusing look on the canine's face. Toriel let out a short, soft peal of laughter, sounding somewhat hoarse. Sans' smiled back in response, but then his expression slowly sobered up, concern returning noticeably.
"seriously though tori, you shouldn't push yourself so hard, especially… right now, y'know?" He murmured, eyelights dulling slightly and looking away. "you said it yourself, we are both going to be "struggling" for a while…"
Toriel just nodded, too tired to really argue. Being reminded of the terrible burden they both shared only made the urge to pass out all the worse, so she did her best not to focus on it. There were things she should be telling him right now, but just the mere idea of trying to properly explain it all made her eyes threaten to fall shut again. When she didn't offer any verbal reply, Sans glanced back towards the direction front door, as though expecting to see someone. When he didn't, he turned back to her with a somewhat questioning look.
"did you… come back by yourself?" He asked, as the dog stepped off his lap and climbed over into hers.
She nodded again, smile strengthening as she gently rubbed the animal's small head with her large paw. The dog playfully nibbled at her fur, wiggling all over from the attention. She supposed she could see why Sans enjoyed his company so much.
"lemme guess, my bro made you go home early, huh?" He asked, a knowing gleam to his eyelights.
This time she forced herself to speak her reply, feeling all the nodding was making her look ridiculous.
"Yes, he and the others were quite aware of my fatigue. Despite my efforts to keep it under wraps." She paused as a yawn escaped her, covering her mouth with her paw as it did. "He insisted I go home and rest while he locked up for the day. He really was a wonderful help though, it is thanks to him everything ran smoothly in the end. He even decided to take the children for nicecream afterwards. I certainly owe him for it all."
Sans' smile grew warmer, fondness showing in the lights of his eyes. He scooted over closer and leaned against her a bit before replying, prompting a fluttery reaction from her soul. She tried not to let it show on her face, well aware that her weary state may hinder her attempts at restraining those feelings. Not to mention it brought her conversation with Papyrus back to the forefront of her mind and all that had entailed. If he noticed her reaction to his actions, he didn't show it, going on without missing a beat.
"sounds like my bro alright. that guy really is the coolest." He said fondly, before looking up at her again.
He seemed to recognize now all the inner turmoil she was feeling at the moment, perhaps seeing it reflected in her eyes. His expression turned sympathetic and he pressed a little closer, suddenly looking rather tired as well.
"we can uh… talk about the other stuff that happened later, i'm gonna have to agree with my bro and say you should snooze for awhile. don't worry about it for now okay?"
His insistence fell on somewhat deaf ears, as the other major conversation she'd had came back to her then. Flowey's cruel, mocking voice seemed to echo within her mind, sending a faint chill down her spine. Sans clearly noticed and she could feel tension beginning to grip his body.
"unless... it was something… really bad?"
She could hear the nervousness and touch of guilt in his tone, and Flowey's voice only seemed to raise in volume inside her head. Even though the flower monster had said he had no intention of telling Frisk what he had figured out, it didn't lessen the anxiety she felt over the situation very much. Telling him about her conversation with Papyrus could wait, Sans deserved to know about Flowey at the very least, even if it hurt him... She swallowed hard, praying she could deliver this news properly.
"Flowey... he… he was able to see through our ruse… He knows that I… know about the resets." She rasped, curling her claws into her dress.
Sans froze and his eyelights shrank to mere pinpricks of light, clearly not at all ready to hear something like that. Seeing him look so distraught, even for a moment, made her soul feel as though it were being squeezed and she was quick to continue before he grew too distressed.
"I-it is okay Sans…" She said, wrapping an arm gently around him. "H-he said he has no intention of telling Frisk. And I know it is hard to believe… but I know he meant it. He…"
She paused, worrying her lip with her fangs. Oh stars, if only her mind didn't feel like it was in a fog at the moment.
"He was… trying to tell me about what… the things he did to you back then. Gloating I suppose... I made him stop though, kind of lost my temper actually... and I managed to get him to see reason somewhat. I... I told him what you asked of me… to not turn my back on him and Frisk… and that seemed to bring out something in him I have not seen before… I think it actually meant a lot to him."
Sans blinked up at her, relaxing by degrees but still remaining rather rigid. The fear in his eyelights remained, though it was tempered a bit by confusion now. Toriel kept talking, feeling bad she was preventing him from weighing in on all this but knowing she had to get it all out before her exhaustion made it impossible to continue.
"I am so very sorry Sans, this was my fault. I… I was not able to hide all the stress this has been causing me, and he already had suspicions from the beginning apparently. If you are angry with me for this… I understand. But please do not let this worry you too deeply. Flowey told me he had no desire for Frisk to reset either... and again, I know he meant it... please believe that. He will not cause everything to reset… okay?"
Ugh, if her mother had heard that pathetic excuse for a speech she would have given her quite the tongue lashing. Stars, why did this have to be happening when she was so tired? She may of just sent Sans back into another spiral of panic and she wasn't in the proper state of mind to properly console him. Her head spun. trying to find something, anything else she could say to make this better, but it all just resulted in a splitting headache.
"tori…" Sans' small voice snapped her out of her brief reverie, drawing her attention back to him.
He still looked mildly distressed, but not nearly as much as she had expected. And there was no anger in the lights of his eyes, only a bitter mix of fearful and concerned emotions. He gripped her arm that was looped around him with one of of his hands, drawing in an uneven breath before speaking again. Even the dog let out a soft, concerned whine, laying down in her lap with a soft plop.
"i... i believe you. it's alright… i'm not... mad." He said, voice suddenly quiet. "it isn't your fault... i shoulda known that... kid... would figure it out. he knows us all better than we know ourselves at this point…heh..."
That last part caused him to shudder, and if Toriel wasn't so tired she may have done the same. She tightened her grip on him slightly and he pressed back against her at the same time. It was a small gesture that quieted her anxieties for the moment and let her focus what little energy she had into what was important here, ensuring that he was okay. With how much better he'd seemed today, it was even more painful to see him slip back into that unstable, fearful state, even if it wasn't nearly as bad as before.
"but if you say he really won't… won't threaten all this… then i believe you. i owe you that much for all you've accepted as truth from me." He murmured, voice evening out more as he did. "plus... it isn't fair to expect you to be on my level with the whole poker face thing y'know?"
He managed a small, forced grin at that, before letting it slowly fall again. Toriel wanted to say something, but her mind was moving too sluggishly. By the time she began to find the words, he was already continuing on.
"if… if it's just flowey for now… it will probably be okay..." He said softly, seemingly more to himself than to her. "still… i might not want to be around that guy for a while… especially if..."
He shut his sockets briefly, before looking back up at her with a nervous, weary expression.
"h-how much... did he tell you?" He asked, voice shaking ever so slightly.
Toriel blinked at the question, and then her eyes grew heavy with heartache. Her soul clenched up inside her as she pictured in her mind the tortures Flowey had put her dear skeleton through, the apathy and brokenness the child's actions had driven him to. Her expression must have been answer enough to his question, because his sockets went dark and he looked away with another shudder.
In the silence that followed, she still failed to find the right words, but she could always rely on her instincts for situations like this. Slowly, as to ensure he was okay with it, she pulled him close into as much of a hug as she could manage, resting her cheek on the top of his skull. The dog cuddled up into the embrace as well, oddly somber and quiet as. The guilt she felt from his soul was overpowering, the guilt of a monster who'd once been driven into such a state of despair, he had watched his loved ones die without any will to even attempt to stop it.
All the words she'd been stockpiling through her haze of exhaustion finally escaped her then, as she held him close to her and tried to offer him comfort through both her words and the weakened magic flowing from her soul.
"I am so sorry, dear…" She murmured in a strained voice. "It was not your fault… please, remember that… no one could have possibly kept up hope in such a situation… no one could have kept fighting for so long, with no end in sight. No one, Sans. We would all like to claim we would, but any soul would be driven to apathy if subjected to what you were. It is not fair to hate yourself for what happened then, it does not reflect who you truly are. It was not your fault."
The words came easier that time, love and concern giving her energy where all else would fail. She was still forever unsatisfied with what her words could accomplish though, wishing more than anything they could heal the metaphorical and quite literal cracks in his soul, like her magic could heal his physical wounds. But ailments of the mind could not be conquered with any sort of healing magic or medicine.
When faced with such a magnitude of suffering, all that one could really offer was their condolences that they ever had to endure such a thing, and a promise to remain by their side. It was all beyond her understanding, as she herself would never know the true horrors of what he'd lived through. Despite the lack of power her words had to heal, she still felt they needed to be said, for it was almost certain he had never heard them before.
Sans did not say anything for some time, and Toriel had to actively fight with every fragment of energy she had left not to fall asleep right then and there, head pillowed on his skull. It was his soul that ultimately let her know how he had taken her words. The guilt was still there, along with some vague shock and disbelief, but more than those was a building feeling of gratitude… and the now unmistakable feeling of love, warm and wonderful like a cozy fire on a cold night. Those feelings told her what he could not say with words, and she returned that warmth without question, too tired to really consider restraining it.
"i... i don't think i can just… a-accept that as true." he admitted at last, shakily. "but... thank you tori… i don't know why you b-believe in me so much, but... thank you… i-i'm sorry… i don't know what to say…"
With that, he fell into silence again, tightening his grip on her arm. Toriel, somewhat delirious at this point, leaned over and sleepily nuzzled his cheekbone without even thinking about it. She felt wetness there as she did so, and it caused another dull ache in her soul, but her weary mind was still too caught up in working on a response to really acknowledge it.
"Nonsense, you are more than worth believing in, dear. You have a skele-ton of people who love you and would agree as well. Do not, uh… let Flowey's cruel remarks… um… rib you the wrong way.
Despite it all he let out a soft legitimate chuckle at that, wiping idly at his sockets with his free hand. Though his amusement seemed to be more for her increasingly delirious demeanor rather than her clumsy puns. The dog even tilted his head at her, as though perplexed by her behavior.
"geez t, you've really goat to get some sleep." He said, smiling weakly through a bit of sniffle. "you are getting loopy at this point."
She shot him a bit of a flat look through half-lidded eyes.
"Loopy? What does he mean loopy? Is that supposed to be a pun?" She thought, among other such ramblings of a similar caliber.
She blinked in vague surprise when he carefully stood up then, easing out from under her arm and laying it back at her side. Her eyes drifted over to him with a bit of a concerned look, but he was quick to ease her worries.
"give me a sec, just grabbing something real quick." He said, giving her head a pat.
It felt strange for him to do that, for anyone to do that really. She had not had her head patted since she was a child, and given that she was so tall, it never happened now that she was grown. Maybe it was only because she was so out of it, but it felt… nice. All of those years of isolation may have indeed left her a little touch starved.
She may have dozed off for a few moments, because it seemed to her he had reappeared in front of her after a single blink. He was carrying a large pillow from one of the other chairs, and he laid it against the armrest of the couch.
"come on tori, you should lay down." He said, patting the pillow with a soft smile. "you'll be more comfurtable that way."
It was an offer she was happy to accept, moving over to flop down against the pillow, unable to keep her eyes from falling shut. She mumbled out a thanks as she did so, but it wasn't very coherent. The skeleton's soft wheeze of laughter met her ears then, a sound that sent her weary soul all a flutter again. The dog trotted over and cuddled up against her side, and she sleepily gave him a grateful pet, eyes remaining closed.
She was somewhat surprised when she felt Sans gently take off her glasses and heard him set them on the coffee table. Her eyes fluttered back open to see him standing in front of her, the image hazy from exhaustion that wanted so badly to claim her. But somehow, another burning question rose in her throat, and she forced it out before the urge to sleep stole the will to speak from her completely.
"Sans…" She murmured in a rather hoarse voice, taking him by surprise. "why... why did you ask me to not give up on Flowey… when he had done so much to you? When he is responsible for so much of your suffering? I can somewhat understand it with Frisk… but why... that flower?"
Her blurry vision of him meant she couldn't tell exactly how he was taking her question, but she could hear him drum his phalanges against the edge of the couch and the soft sigh that escaped him before he spoke again.
"i'm sure he didn't tell you his true origins, but there is… more to that kid than meets the eye. things that, as i said, i can't be the one to tell you…" He said, voice dull.
There was a pause, and she could practically feel his indecision about what he wished to say next, as well as hear his bones rattle as he lightly shuddered.
"but... also because…" He went on, in a quieter, more pained tone. "i was one mistake away from becoming just like him tori, or pretty damn close at least. there was a time when i was a kid, back in ol g's lab… where i had the chance to absorb the human souls that been collected. and i wanted to do it, to make my father pay for what he'd done, to ruin his plans just to spite him. i didn't end up doing it of course… thinking about pap was what stopped me. but if i had gone through with it… well… i can only imagine what that kind of power would have done to me… mixing a vengeful child's mind with the form and abilities of a god..."
He trailed off after that, lost in thought and she could vaguely make out a forlorn expression on his face. The words settled into her mind and she attempted to reflect on their significance. But then she yawned again, her eyes falling shut against her will. She was too tired to focus anymore. Another weary chuckle came from Sans and she felt him pull the blanket over her and the dog a little more.
"but uh… let's save that story for another day…" He said, sounding relieved to abandon the subject. "you should really get some sleep now. i'll talk to the others when they get here so don't worry about that." He said, and she heard the shuffle of slippers as he stepped back.
Subconsciously, she reached out and searched for him with an outstretched paw.
"Sans…" She all but mumbled, unable to force her eyes open again at this point. "will you not... stay?"
There was a pause, and then she felt him take her paw in both his hands and give it a light squeeze before tucking it back under the blanket. She was then faintly aware of him at her side again, speaking near where her head was resting.
"yah… course i'll stay, tori..." He said, sounding somewhat surprised and a touch flustered at her request. He quickly regained his usual casual tone though. "i'm not the kinda guy to uh... refuse a chance to nap after all… heh"
The laugh that left him then was somewhat forced, but the sentiments behind it all were not. A small smile appeared on her face as she felt him begin to climb up on the couch.
It was large enough that he was able to sit beside her once she had mindfully pressed herself against the back cushions. He sat back against the armrest and settled in under the blanket at her side, letting her tuck her arm around his waist. She weakly pulled him close, resting her forehead against his side and feeling the stirred emotions flowing from his soul. If she had been more present minded at that moment, she would have picked up on how flustered and faintly amused he was feeling at the whole situation, but all her dwindling focus could hone in on was that wonderful warm feeling of love.
After a few moments, she felt his phalanges begin to run gently through the fur on her head, careful not to let the joints of them snag any of the thick white hairs as he did so. They swept slowly between her horns and along the top tips of her ears, causing them to twitch ever so slightly. It all felt so very nice… Her previous thought corrected itself then, she definitely was touch starved, for sure. She lavished affection on others, it was just who she was, but she was very rarely the receiver of such affection herself.
Something like a soft purr escaped her as he continued, a sound that was normal for boss monsters but not quite so normal for her anymore. If she hadn't been slipping into sleep as it happened, she would have never allowed herself to do such a thing. But she truly felt loved and at peace in that moment, with no anxious thoughts to keep her mind awake. Not even the fear of the returning memories that sleep would surely bring could ail her then. She finally drifted off, taking comfort from the feeling of her dear skeleton's soul nearby.
Both were asleep by the time the others got home, Sans still sitting up with his arm looped around her head and Toriel laying down with her arm around him. The dog was curled up between them, ears and tail twitching occasionally in his sleep. It was likely that Sans had intended to leave once Toriel was asleep to avoid any unwanted questions from the others, but in the end he had stayed where he was, perhaps simply unable to make himself go back on his word. Neither of them were aware of how Frisk and Papyrus smiled at the scene once they arrived or how they had laid the blanket more properly over the two of them, trying to contain their giggles.
They also didn't see Flowey watching them from where he'd been temporarily placed on the coffee table. If they had, they likely would have been surprised to find he was no longer looking upon this sign of their increasingly close relationship with scorn and disgust. Instead he simply stared with a rather blank, unreadable expression, his eyes especially locked onto Toriel's sleeping form.
No, during all that, Toriel was already becoming lost in another memory that had been stolen from her, and all she could do was let it unfold and see what secrets it wished to reveal to her.
