The rest of the week after that night passed in somewhat of a blur, a strange blend of strained normalcy and lingering stirred emotion of all kinds. There had been a sort of unspoken agreement that passed between Toriel and her dear skeleton. After enduring so much that night back in the Underground, they made an effort to avoid being drawn into lengthy discussions about the past for a while, for both their sakes. They needed a break from all that, some time to recover before they were ready to address anything so heavy again. Especially Sans…
When they had returned home that night, they had been hit with a tremendous wave of exhaustion, as the adrenaline that had come with the events of the night faded. They didn't possess the energy to even bother checking the time before snuggling back up under the sheets. Before they knew it, they had ended up wrapped up in each other again, but neither could truly blame it on being an unconscious act. It was something they both craved, as his grief and pain still lingered within him even upon leaving that place, practically calling out to her soul to respond and soothe it. And she had without question, able to ease him into sleep with just a few minutes of gentle effort on her part. She had followed suit shortly after.
All the while Sans had kept that photo album close in his arms, unable to part with it for some time. When morning came though, through their expected haze of exhaustion, they had found a safe place to hide it beneath her mattress. He pulled it out and looked at it often whenever he was in her room during the following nights. She always made an effort to give him some time alone when he did. But when he'd noticed that, to her surprise, he invited her over to tell her more. He never went into too much detail, adhering to the unspoken agreement it seemed, but in time she had learned all of his lost friend's names and even a few of their personalities. It made looking over the photos more painful of course, but there was a warmth to the newfound familiarity as well.
His more comfortable willingness to speak about the terribly bittersweet memories of the photo album had not been the only sign of improvement from him either. Indeed, once he had found sleep again that night after they'd destroyed the cellar, no nightmare came to him. In fact, he reported not having any dreams at all. At first, both seemed to agree it was probably a fluke, likely due to just how short their rest that night had been. But then the next night came, and he slept through it yet again without any incident.
It had not been a flawless change, as there had been two nights where he certainly still had nightmares. One had even left him horribly sick again in its wake and she had awoken to find him vomiting into the bathroom sink and choking out something about everything being reset again, only truly calming after an hour or so of her consoling him. But even then, he had never become fully lost in his visions as he had before. He had been present the whole time, just terribly, understandably, distressed. There was no finding him seizing on the floor, eyelight ablaze as she had before. There was no summoning of attacks in his sleep or losing any recollection of where or when he was. Though he was far from cured of his night terrors, he was finally, blessedly, showing signs of getting better in that regard and Toriel was so incredibly happy for him.
Unfortunately, she could not say the same about her own situation. Granted, the memories that had returned to her over the next few nights were not quite as distressing as the last, but many still left her deeply shaken.
Visions of Frisk in the Ruins that repeated and overlapped, where sometimes they stayed with her for extended times and others where they almost ignored her entirely. Visions of Flowey taunting and tormenting her in the Ruins while staying just out of reach of her attacks, before apparently striking a killing blow on her by accident with some huge spiked vine and looking on with a mix of horror and intrigue as her soul shattered before him. Visions of a timeline where she'd returned to the castle to find Asgore's dust scattered about his throne room, apparently killed not by her child, but by the will of his own hand. Visions of timelines where she continued to fail her people, her children, everyone she'd ever cared about.
Not only that, but she had begun developing terrible headaches akin to migraines that flared up on occasion, and especially after she awoke from one of the returned memories. They did not last long at all, but they were agony to deal with in the moment, and often left her head lightly throbbing long after they passed. There was likely a connection, but the discomfort they brought her paled so much in comparison to the pain of the visions that she didn't dwell on them very much.
She was sure to tell Sans of each returned memory she endured, especially when she woke from one abruptly in a cold sweat, shivering all over. And just as she did for him, he'd talk her down, comfort her and do his best to explain what the memories meant, where they fit into everything else. By the stars, if he hadn't been there during those times to keep her grounded she would have surely lost herself in it all by now. It only added to her continually more insistent desire to tell him of her true feelings, especially since some anxious little part of her felt that now that he was truly starting to get better, he wouldn't need her anymore, and this wonderful closeness they'd forged between them would begin to disintegrate.
But she continued to hold her tongue, even as the true reasons why became less and less clear.
It was those thoughts that found her on Friday afternoon, the last day of the school week. It was a gray and rainy day, where the downpour was constant and heavy. There was no thunder or howling winds to accompany it, just a ceaseless deluge from above. Toriel watched the rainfall from the window of her classroom, eyes as hazy as the sodden glass.
The room was quiet apart from the sound of that, the students having been set up for a special indoor recess in the gym while they waited for their parents. She had stayed behind to finish grading daily assignments, a task she had just finished. But she found herself too preoccupied with her thoughts to get up and join the others just yet, not trusting herself not to look like an exhausted mess at the moment.
The room's only other occupant, Flowey, had again been left with her by Frisk, something that become an odd sort of trend. But at least he was not such a terrible a companion as before. He was entertaining himself on his little portable gaming system and staying quiet, rather good behavior on his part. She had given him a lollipop for that earlier, and though he had scoffed, he was now happily sucking on the sweet, the stick poking out of his mouth. Even with the benign, somewhat charming scene though, her thoughts inevitably turned to those darker visions of him she'd endured and she shivered slightly despite herself. Her mind had been wandering all day, as it had been any time she was alone with her thoughts.
She hated to be alone nowadays. Partially due to fear of ever feeling any amount of that despairing loneliness she'd experienced in the Ruins again. But also now because her mind tended to drift into dangerous, damaging territory when she had no distractions. Truly terrible thoughts of hopelessness and dread over the harrowing threat of an oncoming reset, a thought that grew more desperate with every day, with every step she and her dear skeleton took towards healing.
She broke from those thoughts with a soft sigh, taking off her glasses and rubbing idly at her forehead against the first throbs of another headache. She needed to stop, she couldn't think about that. Frisk was not going to reset. Her child was happy, everyone was happy. It wasn't going to happen. It just… couldn't, not now.
The sudden sound of the door to the room creaking open demanded her attention, something she was silently grateful for. When she turned to see who was entering though, that gratitude withered somewhat. She found herself facing the harsh gaze of Undyne, who was communicating with her stance that she was not here for any sort of friendly chat. Toriel knew then that the confrontation with the fish monster that she had been avoiding for days had finally come. Resigning to that fact, she summoned some of her old royal composure into her soul and met Undyne's gaze without flinching.
"Greetings Undyne." She said, in a pleasant if somewhat flat tone. "Can I help you with something?"
Undyne let out a little "tch" at that, and shut the door behind her without turning around. Her bright yellow eye rested briefly on Flowey, a sight that summoned an even more irritated scowl to her face, but then she looked back at Toriel with a huff.
"Yeah actually, but since you never seem to respond to anything I text you, I decided I better come talk to you in person. Wouldn't want you to ignore me again, right?" She hissed through only a vague attempt at a grin.
Toriel's more genial expression withered at that, though she did not flinch from the words. The fish monster was justified with her anger, and Toriel knew it. Her avoidance of all this had been cowardly, even with everything else going on. Guilt welled up within her, but before she could find the words to express it, Undyne suddenly marched over and brought her webbed hand down on the desk with a bit more force than necessary. It was enough to make Flowey jump a bit, though Toriel managed to hold her ground, willing herself not to be intimidated.
"Cut the bullshit, you know why I want to talk to you." Undyne said, darkly.
"Langua-" Toriel began to say back, but the fish monster cut her off again.
"Oh just drop it!" She spat, facial fins flaring out in annoyance. "The little weed has more of a mouth on him than any of us combined. Clearly you haven't heard him lose at Smash Bros."
Another angry retort welled in Toriel's throat, but she forced it back with a swallow. A vague frustrated thought about Flowey's apparent cursing habits drifted over her mind, but it was pulled back to the situation at hand when Undyne continued speaking.
"No, I want to know what the hell your problem is. I sent you those messages because I wanted to be civil about this whole thing, I really did. But you don't have the decency to reply back, not even with a simple "no"?" I held off making a stink about it because you've honestly been looking like shit lately, but I want answers Toriel." She demanded, pointed yellow teeth flashing.
The rain pounded against the windows in the following silence as Toriel worked up a response. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Flowey watching the unfolding scene with an interested twinkle in his eyes, as though enjoying the little spat. His behavior was anything but helpful. She let out a slow sigh, adjusted her glasses a bit, and faced the fish monster with a look of more obvious remorse.
"I do apologize for that Undyne. You are right, I should not have ignored you like I did… I am afraid I have been going through some things lately that have... clouded my judgement." She admitted, curling her claws into her lap a bit.
"What kind of things?" Undyne shot back, her single eye narrowing slightly.
Toriel stiffened, and her red eyes became a bit hazy again as she shook her head.
"I… cannot tell you that." She replied, in a dull tone.
"Why the hell not?!" Undyne burst out, facial fins flaring.
Once the exclamation had left her though, she seemed to regret it somewhat, especially when Flowey gave an amused little chuckle from his place on the table. The knowing look the flower monster then shot Toriel's way sent a chill down her spine. If Undyne noticed it, she didn't give any indication. She simply composed herself as much as she could manage before going on, voice still thick with anger.
"If it's the reason you keep treating Asgore like shit, why you freaked out at him last weekend, then I want to know. I think you owe me that for blowing me off all this time."
Toriel felt the twinge of anger inside her burn hotter momentarily, shocked at the fish monster's gall. What right did she think she had to this information? Surely she must know that this was personal if nothing else. But her anger and those thoughts faded as another sort of idea rose to the forefront of her mind. She let it linger there for the moment, searching Undyne's gaze for signs to support it.
"I cannot tell you Undyne, I am sorry." She repeated, hating how almost robotic it sounded. "But no, it… it is not why…"
She trailed off for a moment, before deciding to redirect her words a bit. The still ever-present anger on the fish monster's features only solidified the suspicions she had about the situation.
"Undyne, I did attempt to talk to him earlier this week…" She insisted, expression becoming increasingly perplexed and a touch concerned. "Did he… not tell you?"
Undyne scoffed, crossing her arms in front of her. Her fierce yellow eye bored into Toriel and made her feel pinned in place somewhat, though she couldn't help but meet the gaze with resoluteness of her own.
"Oh he told me." She said, venom still lingering in her tone. "And yeah sure you made an attempt. But do you really think you solved anything? All this time and that's all you could manage? "I'm too messed up right now to even try and fix things?" As if he isn't ten times as messed up over what happened between you two, as if he hasn't been working his ass off to make up for what he did, to you, especially!"
Her words had the opposite effect Undyne probably expected. Instead of becoming angrier, Toriel only grew more concerned. From what she had learned of the former captain of the royal guard over the last year, she was aware she was often a hot head, and sometimes displayed a fiery temper. Hell, she seemed to experience all emotions at their "maximum power" as she would likely put it. Even so, this kind of vitriol did not feel right coming from her. Undyne was a monster of justice, she would not be doing this without purpose. And the one she had given, while justified certainly, just didn't sit right with Toriel. Now that she thought about it, she hadn't seen her ex-husband at all the past two days...
"Undyne… did something happen?" She asked, somewhat hesitantly. "Asgore made it seem like he understood when i spoke to him… He seemed pleased with my answer even."
Undyne's reaction told her that her suspicions had been correct, as the fish monster blinked in surprise then narrowed her one eye with renewed anger. Toriel could see her work her jaw as she sorted through what to say back. But before she could, Toriel spoke again, wanting to avoid allowing the situation to degrade further.
"Look Undyne, I know you care deeply for him… He is something of a father figure to you, is he not?" She asked, willing her usual gentle tone to enter her voice. "I understand your anger on his behalf. But this is something he and I must handle at our own pace… if something has happened though... I fear that-"
Her words were cut off abruptly as the door to the room began to open again, revealing Alphys tapping out something on her phone as she stepped inside.
"U-Undyne, are you in here? Th-the kids have all left and I thought we could…"
The lizard monster trailed off as she noticed everyone else in the room, and the less than jovial atmosphere. She retreated a step, curling her thick yellow tail in front of her shyly.
"O-oh, am I interrupting s-something?" She stammered, gaze flicking between each of their faces.
There was a moment where no one replied, the tense atmosphere continuing to hang. Then Undyne shot Toriel one final hard look before facing her girlfriend with an all too sudden bright smile.
"Nah babe, its whatever. What's up?" She said, quick to turn her back on Toriel and walk over to Alphys.
The lizard monster gave a little nervous laugh before relaxing again, fixing her glasses that had gone askew in her fidgeting. It was impossible to miss the blush on her face too as Undyne leaned down close to look at her phone, lightly brushing her girlfriend's scaly cheek with her facial fins.
"W-w-well um." Alphys stammered before clearing her throat and going on in a stronger voice. "Xena and some of the others are going to Grillby's a-and i thought we could go too. I kn-know its kinda early in the day to go to a bar, but apparently Grillby is debuting some new drinks there today c-called uh… "hot shots."
From her place at her desk, Toriel couldn't help but let loose a barely restrained bit of laughter at that. Oh what a genius name. She would have to write that down later for sure. Perhaps her dear skeleton's humor had been rubbing off on the bartender after all these years. When she recovered from the giggles, she found all eyes in the room on her. A brief spark of embarrassment burned in her soul and she cleared her throat in an attempt to regain her composure a bit. By the stars, she'd been hanging out with Sans a little too much it seemed. She was so used to being able to laugh freely around him that she was forgetting herself and giving into her childish side a little more than she should be.
Undyne gave her an odd look and Flowey just groaned and rolled his eyes. Alphys did not seem to mind at least though, chuckling into a hand along with her. The lizard monster took a few steps over towards the desk then, her expression cheerful. A sharp glare from Flowey withered some of that cheerfulness as she approached, and made an odd emotion flash in her eyes that Toriel didn't quite catch. But the lizard monster snapped herself out of it quickly, still managing to offer a smile as she looked up at Toriel.
"Y-you should come too, Toriel." She offered, recovering further from her little slip by the moment.
Toriel blinked in surprise, then let out a little sigh mixed with a weary chuckle, resting her head in one paw briefly.
"Oh dear, do I look that much in need of a drink?" She asked, hoping none of her true unease was present in her voice.
Alphys quickly became flustered again, tapping her claws together in anxious little motions.
"N-no!" She squeaked, before grinning sheepishly. "Well I just meant uh… w-we haven't got to hang out with y-you much lately a-and-"
Toriel moved to lay a paw gently on the nervous lizard monster's shoulder, causing her to stop talking abruptly.
"I was only joking Alphys." She assured her, cutting her off with a warm smile. "I appreciate the offer… I… suppose I could do that."
Usually she would have declined such an offer, not exactly wishing to set foot in that bar with all those staring eyes again. But Alphys had looked so happy at the idea, and Frisk did have plans tonight with friends after all. Who was she to reject such a kind proposition? Her sentiments on that note were further justified as Alphys' face lit up again and she excitedly lifted her phone back up to her face.
"G-great! And since its Grillby's i-i'm sure that-"
As was becoming a trend it seemed, Alphys was interrupted once more. This time though, by a monster who appeared behind her in a sudden bright blue flash.
"did someone say grillby's?"
Alphys jumped and spun around to find Sans there behind her, flashing his usual wide grin. Toriel was pleased that she had seen his abrupt appearance coming, perhaps better knowing all his little quirks after all they'd been through. He shot her a little wink before turning back to Alphys with a feigned expression of sadness.
"i was starting to think you were gonna leave me out al." He said in a wonderfully melodramatic voice.
Alphys sighed in a mix of amusement and exasperation. She rolled her eyes and gave him a playful swat with her tail as she turned back to her phone. He gave a soft chuckle in response, bright smile returning. The sight brought Toriel a stronger smile as well, finding that is stirred some relief in her soul. Sans had been rather quiet and withdrawn the days after they'd destroyed the lab, enough so that even his friends and peers here at the school had taken notice. She'd been asked many times if something had happened to him, or if he was still sick. And every time she'd had to lie, usually exposing the extent of her own weariness in the process.
But he'd been doing better the past few days, likely helped by the fact he had not suffered any sort of nightmare the previous night. That smile on his face then was genuine, something she could now tell with confidence, and it always brought her soul warmth to see it. But some of that true cheeriness there faded slightly as he looked up at Undyne as she approached from behind him. Toriel couldn't be totally sure, but she thought she saw a brief flash of anger in his eyelights as he looked up at the fish monster.
"heya undies." He said with a wink, though his posture remained a little stiff.
Undyne groaned low in her throat in response to the nickname, sending a withering glare his way.
"Sans, I'm really not in the mood." She growled, earning a shrug from the skeleton and a concerned look from her girlfriend.
Before Alphys could question her though, Undyne promptly reached down and picked her up, holding the lizard monster in one toned arm. Alphys' face flushed a dark orange color as she was held close, apparently banishing the words from her mouth for the moment. Undyne turned to leave then, speaking to Toriel and Sans without even turning to look back at them.
"We'll meet you guys at the restaurant." She said, flatly, before marching right out the door with her girlfriend in tow.
In the silence following the door swinging shut, Toriel and Sans met each other's gaze again. She quirked a brow at him, a somewhat suspicious look on her face.
"You heard everything before Sans, did you not?" She asked, though her tone indicated she already knew the answer.
His grin became a touch sheepish at that, and his eyelights darted away briefly.
"uh... well… yah…" He admitted, fiddling a bit with one of the drawstrings of his hoodie, his usual blue one today.
"You are quite the little snoop, you know that?" She said after a moment, allowing her tone to lighten a bit.
Sans gave a light shrug of his shoulders, smile briefly returning before his eyelights fell on Flowey, who was still watching them in silence from his flowerpot. The sight of the flower monster caused him to stiffen, though she could tell he was doing his best to hide it. She felt her soul pool with vague anxiety as Flowey noticed he was now the center of attention and willed up a wry little smile.
"Golly, and here I thought you both had forgotten I was even here." He crooned, leaning his head on one leaf.
Toriel sent him a hard, stern look, demanding that he watch his words very carefully. The glare appeared to work, as his bravado receded a bit, grin faltering as she spoke.
"Well... you are not much of a talker these days." She said, slowly. "Still… I apologize. I did not intend to ignore you."
Flowey chewed idly on the now bare lollipop stick, seemingly with a touch of indecision.
"It's fine Toriel." He said after a moment, that unnerving sickly sweetness creeping back into his voice. "I… enjoy observing, especially with all these interesting new developments unfolding."
As he said that last part, he directed his gaze back at Sans, who met it with an unreadable expression. The skeleton had been avoiding Flowey actively for a while now, for reasons she knew, and that made her soul pang harshly for him. The fact he could appear so calm and composed in front of one of the most damning sources of his suffering was shocking to her. Only the slightest wavering of his eyelights and his general stiffness gave away his true discomfort.
Oddly though, after another moment of staring him down, Flowey backed off. She didn't even have to send him another glare for him to do it. His smile fell and his expression briefly carried some emotion she couldn't quite recognize before it shifted into his usual crabbiness.
"Whatever, does this mean I have to go with you idiots to that greasehole bar?" He asked, before spitting out the stick and tossing it off of Toriel's desk." If i'm going, I am going to try some alcohol at least. I've always wondered why adults love it so much."
The statement had Toriel consumed by her usual maternal instincts, stepping towards Flowey and crossing her arms in a firm manner.
"Absolutely not." She retorted, tone indicating she'd hear no arguments.
Flowey stuck out his tongue at her and was about to say something else when Sans stepped up alongside her.
"yah, not happening. but don't worry bud-dy." The skeleton quipped in a feigned jovial tone. "i'll pop you over to frisk right now."
The flower monster hardly had time to protest. He only managed to recoil with a flurry of objections before Sans picked up his pot. Then in a bright flash, both monsters disappeared. Toriel blinked away at the spots of light in her vision that the display of magic had left in its wake, feeling anxiety well up inside her. For a few moments, she stood there alone, listening to the heavy pounding of the rain against the windows. Then the skeleton returned with another flash, brushing his hands together as if dusting them off.
"taken care of." He said simply, offering her a wink.
She couldn't help but look at him suspiciously, but he was quick to wave a hand in a reassuring motion.
"don't worry, i just dropped him off with frisk, the kiddo was still in the car with their buddies and the twin's moms out front." He assured her, expression sobering up a little.
It would be a lie to say that she was fully convinced by that, but she decided to trust him, releasing her anxieties with a little sigh.
"Very well then, though I do hope they are careful driving in this terrible weather." She said, beginning to gather up her things to leave. "We will certainly will be taking the longer, safer route to Grillby's."
"ya sure you don't wanna just take a shortcut?" He asked, walking over to pick up and hand her her favorite little snail patterned pencil from the corner of her desk.
She took it from him with a thankful smile, stashing it away in her purse along with the rest of her belongings.
"No, I would not want to leave the van here." She said, slipping her purse over her shoulder. "I will make sure to get us there safely… plus with how things go tonight, I fear that some of us may need an easy way for Papyrus to get us all home."
She said that last part through a bit of a nervous grin, and Sans' responding chuckle showed his agreement. The younger skeleton's firm declaration that he would be their designated driver in any and all trips to Grillby's had come after he seemed convinced that Sans' overindulgence of alcohol was what led to his brother's downward spiral. Even if he was not quite right about that, it was a rather noble thing for him to do, especially considering his open disdain for the establishment. Apparently though, Grillby had promised Papyrus all the milk he could drink the next time he came, so maybe that would lessen the displeasure he'd experience tonight.
"heh, good point. add that to the list of things we owe the coolest monster ever." Sans replied with a softer, fond smile.
Toriel nodded her agreement as the two left the room, Sans switching off the light behind them with his magic. As they walked down the hall towards Papyrus' office, a few realizations relating to what they were about to do sprung up in her mind. She turned to look down at him, her voice echoing lightly off the tall brick walls as she spoke.
"I guess I am finally going to get a chance to properly meet your friends." She said, a bit of her nervousness for that fact leaking into her voice. "Though… you have also not been back since…"
Sans grimaced somewhat at that with a nod. A sentiment was silently shared between them. It was hard to believe that day she'd gone to pick up him from the bar had only been a week ago, for life had changed so much for them since then that it felt like years had passed. The skeleton fidgeted his hands within his jacket pockets, eyelights drawn briefly to the floor.
"yah, hopefully they don't make a huge deal about it. grillbz oughta be cool at least." He replied in a somewhat dull tone, before looking back up to her. "you uh… really gonna be okay hanging out with undyne after all that? i doubt alcohol is gonna chill her out much, probably the opposite. you know how wild she gets when she's drunk."
Oh Toriel knew, for sure. One incident in particular that had ended with half the former royal guard naked in a fountain in the center of town came to her mind. The memory almost brought another giggle out of her, but unease still stirring in her from her earlier confrontation with Undyne restrained it.
"I… Do not think she would confront me further about this in such a public place." She reasoned. "Though, I feel I will have to talk with her further at some point. I was wrong for ignoring her like I did and… I fear something may have happened with Asgore that triggered all this…"
Sans hummed thoughtfully, eyelights briefly displaying an odd mix of emotions. But Toriel could see anger there again, faint and fleeting, but still enough to sharpen those little lights from their usual lazy glow.
"well, if that was the case, she coulda been up front about it." He said, grin stiffening at the edges as he did so. "she shouldn've laid into you like that. even if some-fin has gone down with fluffybuns..."
The pun was clearly a method to try not come off as too serious, and the unexpected nature of it did summon a few giggles from her, despite herself. She wasn't sure how she should react to his anger on her behalf, it was both worrying and admittedly a little touching. But by the time she looked back to him again, any sign of it was gone, so she was content to let the issue be for the moment.
They went to fetch Papyrus, who was indeed none too thrilled about the plans for the afternoon. But he held true to his word and insisted he come along, if only to "ensure their survival" as he put it. After a bit of a mad dash through the rain while trying, and mostly failing, to all hide under one umbrella, the three piled into the van and drove off at a steady, careful pace towards Newer Home's center.
The bar was abustle when they arrived, all manner of monsters mulling about to make merry and escape the dreary weather. It was true most monsters probably still enjoyed the rain far more than the majority of humans, still novel to them in its newness, but even they far preferred the blessed light of the sun. Inside there was a warmth to rival sunbeams though, and not just because of the fiery bartender. The place had a life and almost familial atmosphere to it, where everyone seemed to know one another. It was a wonderful thing, but Toriel couldn't help but feel like an outsider, an intruder in this place. That sentiment only worsened when her entrance into the bar drew all eyes in the place towards her, as it had before.
And just the same, a detectable hush fell over the place as the patrons all took in the sight of their former queen. Oh how she hated it. But she did not allow her expression to betray how much their staring eyes churned the magic within her soul. She held herself firm and swept the bar with her gaze, looking for Undyne, Alphys or the others, looking for her excuse to escape. Eventually she spotted them in a large booth near the back, her height making the task fairly easy. They had already noticed her of along with the rest of the bar of course, and Alphys was waving them over.
Papyrus rushed past her and through the crowd towards them, but before Toriel and Sans could follow, a monster stepped, or rather stumbled in their way. The monster in question was a tan colored rabbit monster with swirly eyes, and she was clearly very drunk. She practically flung herself onto Sans, throwing an arm around his shoulders and taking them both by surprise.
"SANNSSSYYY." She exclaimed, full of intoxicated giddiness. "Where hav' youuu beeenn?"
Sans gave a uneasy little chuckle, trying to, politely, step away from her. The sight of her draped over him like that made some sort of angry twinge run through Toriel. It made her claws itch to extend out and a faint spark burn at the back of her throat. On top of that she had the sudden urge to pluck up the small rabbit monster and promptly toss her across the room. The feeling was so odd and sudden that she banished it as quickly as it came, embarrassed she'd allowed it at all. Stars, where had that come from?
Still, this inebriated rabbit was only worsening the staring of the bar's other patrons that her arrival had already caused. She eyed the two, unsure of what to do. But then Sans shot her an apologetic look that seemed to indicate he was used to this situation. Though that idea also didn't sit particularly well with her, she didn't intervene, only watched the odd scene unfold.
"heya bun…"Sans said, partially through an exasperated sounding sigh. "geez you're this wasted already? it's not even dark out."
The rabbit monster giggled and swayed dangerously, only avoiding falling to the floor by holding on to the small skeleton.
"Donn't juudggee meee" She slurred, the words coming out as if in slow motion. "Coome sit at myyy table Sanssy~"
With that, she attempted to lean in for a kiss, but he dodged quite easily, sliding out of the way as the rabbit monster stumbled and just barely avoided face planting into the hardwood floor. Toriel noticed then that the only reason she hadn't hit the ground was that Sans had taken hold of her soul, levitating her just enough to keep her upright.
"bun, we've been over this. i'm way too old for you. and you should have way higher standards." Sans said, expression flat.
The rabbit monster only laughed again, seeming to enjoy being levitated and waving her limbs a bit through the air as she addressed Sans again.
"Oh come onnn, i'm legall!" She insisted, tapping a paw against her chest before pointing at him with it. "and you're fricking hot as hellll."
Toriel eyes narrowed with irritation at that, finding this whole situation to be embarrassing on a concerning level. Why exactly it summoned that little bit of anger inside her again though, she couldn't be sure. Well no, that was a lie. She knew quite well now what that pesky feeling was, but she refused to acknowledge it or how it made her cheeks burn a bit. Sans seemed to find the rabbit monster's statement wholly unremarkable though, and gently set her down on the floor, keeping his hold on her soul.
"the alcohol must be going to your eyes." He shot back with a shrug. "why don't you just ask out that nicecream selling guy. he seems well, nice, heh…. and, y'know, in your age range."
His suggestion seemed to bring the drunken monster genuine pause, and after a moment of working it through her alcohol addled mind, she tilted her head at him a bit in confusion.
"Nathan? He's gaay Sansyy. Everyoone knowss that." She said, a little less slurred that before.
Sans blinked and then the grin on his face became sheepish.
"oh, well then sorry, can't help you there." He replied with an awkward little shrug. "just... go back with your buddies okay?"
With that, he slowly lifted her up again, clearly aiming to float her over to the table she'd come from. She didn't protest further, only crossed her arms with a huff. Toriel was surprised then to see the rabbit monster's gaze affix to her, an action followed by a pout. The rabbit monster vaguely waved a paw in Toriel's direction in an accusing manner.
"I seee how it isss…" She slurred. "your're into taller more eleegant types huhhh?"
That question seemed to be one too many for Sans, who promptly levitated the rabbit monster away then, dropping her lightly in a booth with some other young monsters a short distance across the bar. Of course, with everything going on, basically everyone in the bar was staring at them now. Even Grillby was looking their way, watching the scene with what might have been a disapproving look, though it was hard to tell with his lack of expressive features.
Toriel felt her anxiety rising as more and more monsters whispered to each other with their eyes glued on her. It was though their gazes were searing actual holes through her flesh and fur. She couldn't bare to meet their eyes, or any her friends' eyes from the back of the room. So instead she looked back to Sans, and the sight of him did indeed calm her fretful soul a bit as he returned to her side.
Unlike her, he seemed unfazed by all the staring, just as he had been unfazed by the drunken rabbit monster's advances.
"s-sorry about her, she's a little… much when she's drunk. which is most of the time, heh." He said with an apologetic look.
Toriel blinked at that, wondering what drove the poor girl to do to that to herself so often. Though she still felt that odd anger towards her, some of it melted away into sympathy. Another glance into the staring crowd broke her from her pondering and she drew herself up again with a firm expression.
"We should go meet with the others." She said quietly, glancing down at the skeleton.
She was immensely relieved when he nodded and helped her navigate through the crowd towards the back. Some patrons still stared, but most had turned away at this point, if only to be polite. A few more monsters greeted Sans as they walked and though he did return those greetings, he continued on all the while until they both reached their booth. The usual bar chatter started up again then and Toriel felt like she could finally breathe. She and Sans slipped into the booth across from Undyne, Alphys and Papyrus, and a familiar loud greeting from behind her told her that Xena, Danny and supposedly some of their friends were in the booth behind them.
It was all just a little overwhelming, but she dug into her old royal composure and told herself to relax. Her days of being a social recluse were over, she needed to get used to going out into crowded places again, even if it meant she had little choice in avoiding being the center of attention. She couldn't keep hiding away from her former subjects. If her absence from the throne was to ever be moved on from, she had to connect with them again, form a new sort of relationship with the public. Not as queen, but as one of them, just an ordinary citizen. She just had to… how did Sans put it?... Chill. Yes that was it.
So she did, as best she could at least. The five of them immediately launched into casual conversation. Undyne acted civil towards her, even if she didn't address her much. That was fine with her though, the others more and made up for it with their amiable chatter. Soon enough, the familiarity of it all began to calm her nerves. When Sans brought up the inevitable topic of drinks, Alphys flashed him a mischievous smile and informed him that she'd already ordered for them all. Toriel felt a bit suspicious about that, but was honestly craving any type of alcohol to the point she didn't argue. Who knows, maybe the lizard monster had good taste, and anything with as wonderful a pun name as a "hot shot" had to be special on some level.
With only poor Grillby, his daughter and two other employees handling the drink orders on such a busy night, she and the others knew it would be some time before their orders came. Except for Papyrus' of course, given priority as all designated drivers were, apparently. The skeleton was quite pleased by that fact and it thankfully lessened some of his general distaste for situation at hand, allowing him to start to enjoy himself too.
While the rest of them waited for their drinks, many monsters came over to the booth in order to talk to them, especially Sans, mostly expressing concern that he'd been away so long. He'd reassure them all in his usual fashion, cracking a joke or two in the process. It seemed to come naturally to him, and though she could tell part of him was worn out by it, there was a persistent glimmer of genuine happiness in his eyelights throughout it all. That fact alone made being introduced to these friends of his far easier for her. If they brought out that side of him for any reason, they must be monsters worth meeting.
They were certainly an odd bunch. A reddish bird monster with sleepy eyes who had a tendency to speak for Grillby, an aging fish monster who seemed just a bit too eager to discuss his romantic woes, a friendly plant monster with a mouth full of huge jagged teeth, but a winning smile nonetheless, a hamster monster wearing sunglasses who greeted her but didn't stick around to do anything more than that, an enormous white dog monster who was very very affectionate, a smaller white dog monster who nearly matched the bigger one in friendliness and who had stretched his neck over to them from the other side of the building, and finally another dog monster who was shifty eyed and curt but friendly enough, and made the odd comment that he hadn't been able to see that she was the former queen because she "wasn't moving."
She did her best to commit their names to memory, as she had often tried to do back when she had worn the crown. It felt like she owed it to them, for being kind and welcoming to her even with the fact that she had, in many respects, abandoned them and all her people long ago. All save for that hamster monster, but she was hardly surprised at least one of them wouldn't wish to speak to her. She didn't want to let the guilt fester in her soul and drive her away from making what amends she could, so she let it give her determination instead. In the end, the whole experience had made her soul feel warm with gratitude, and lessened that feeling of intrusion she'd felt before.
Those feelings only strengthened when a more familiar pair approached their booth, with bright smiles and wagging tails.
"Toriel! You came back!" Dogaressa yipped happily, as her husband spoke to Sans and the others.
Toriel was a bit taken aback by this, surprised the dog monster was so happy to see her after they had only met once. Still, she returned her warm greeting earnestly, grateful for it all the same.
"Greetings Dogaressa, you are looking well." Toriel replied, unable to keep herself from glancing at the dog monster's belly.
Dogaressa noticed the look and giggled lightly, pushing aside the hem of her cloak and laying a paw on her stomach. She was only showing a little bit of bump it seemed, not all that far into the pregnancy, but the sight still made Toriel's soul stir with old, buried feelings.
"That I am! And so are my sweet little pups. Though they certainly are giving me a hard time. Morning sickness is worse than I thought!" She said, ending her statement with a little whimper.
Toriel's smile warmed further at that, in a mix of sympathy and familiarity. She remembered what it was like to go through such things all too well. Without even really thinking about it, she offered some advice.
"It helps if you eat a lot of small meals throughout the day, instead of any big ones." Toriel said, meeting the dog monster's eyes again. "Bland foods like toast for breakfast worked well for me, and make sure you are drinking a lot of water between meals… Oh! And a little mint is good for when the nausea hits hard, and can help freshen you up a little after any bouts of it you can't avoid."
That last part escaped her with a playful, somewhat secretive tone and a light giggle.
"Oh thank you! I'll have to try all that!" The dog monster replied, tail wagging faster behind her. "It is so nice to talk to someone who has…"
Dogaressa trailed off, her expression suddenly shifting to something akin to guilt. It wasn't hard to guess why. Toriel knew that the story of the loss of her son and adopted child was well known by just about all of monsterkind by this point, spoken of like a legend. Everyone knew of her grief, and the extremes it had driven her and her ex-husband to. Unavoidable painful memories came flooding back at that point, but she set her jaw and focused on not letting them overwhelming her. Though her ruby red eyes clouded a bit, she managed to keep a small smile on her face.
"Yes well… you are welcome." She said in a softer voice. "And I wish you the best as you go through this Dogaressa. I truly cannot wait to meet your children once summer is here."
The dog monster's face lit up again at that, though some small trace of that sympathetic sadness lingered in her eyes. After a moment, she stepped a little closer and gave her a stomach another gentle, meaningful pat.
"Would you like to… feel?" She asked, voice gentle."The puppies aren't kicking yet, but their souls have grown enough that you can feel the magic from them."
Toriel's eyes widened at the offer and was briefly struck silent, unable to formulate a response. Pain rose up once more in her soul, more insistently this time. Due to the sudden lump in her throat, she only responded with a little nod before slowly reaching to rest her large paw on Dogaressa's lightly distended stomach. It took a moment for the sensations to register. But sure enough, she began to feel soft waves of magic thrum against her paw, resulting in a warm, almost tingly sensation. Each wave was individual, already having traits and subtle differences to make them stand apart from one another.
Eight little souls, all sharing warmth and love with their mother's soul and now Toriel's own, as though sensing her presence. At this age there was no hesitation in it, no fear. They knew no reason to be distrustful or show reluctance, not yet. Toriel wished beyond reason that they keep that innocence, that freedom. The comparison to her own, worn, weary and terribly wary soul was almost too much to bear. Her mind flashed back to when she had felt her son's soul in her belly for the first time, how it had been just the same. She let her paw linger a little longer before finally willing herself to pull it away.
The light familiar burn of tears crept into her eyes, and she took a deep steadying breath before looking back up at Dogaressa. The dog monster met her gaze with a kind, understanding smile.
"Thank you…" Toriel murmured, unable to say anything more.
Dogaressa nodded, and looked to be thinking of something else to say, when Papyrus suddenly spoke up loudly from across the booth. Apparently everyone had been watching the little scene unfold, quite enraptured.
"OH, M-MAY I ALSO FEEL THE LITTLE PUPPIES' SOULS DOGARESSA?" Papyrus asked, sockets sparkling.
Undyne piped up in agreement from beside her friend, flashing a wide eager smile.
"Dude! Me too!" She exclaimed, matching his volume.
Dogaressa giggled in delight and after shooting Toriel another soft, meaningful glance, she happily sauntered over to them and allowed them to take turns touching her belly. Dogamy hovered over her the whole time, nuzzling her cheek and practically in tears himself from pride. Papyrus went first, and his expression was one of wonder and joy the whole time. Undyne's usually fiery spirit was sobered up when she did the same, bringing a softness to the fish monster's eye Toriel had not seen before. Finally Alphys, after a bit of prodding, also partook. She was wide-eyed the whole time and was sweating a bit, but she managed a little smile by the end, taken in by the experience just as the others had been.
As this was going on, Toriel had slipped back into the booth a bit, trying to reign in her stirred emotions. She almost forgot that Sans was there beside her, and had witnessed the whole thing. The feeling of his hand gently resting on her arm quickly reminded her.
"hey… you alright tori?" He asked, though his voice betrayed his understanding.
She let out a soft, empty chuckle at that, running her sleeve over her eyes to rid them of the offending moisture before facing Sans with a weak little smile.
"Yes… Thank you, Sans." She said softly, not wanting the others to be distracted from their moment. "It is just… difficult for me to..."
She gave up on finishing that statement, not trusting her emotions to remain contained if she did. Instead she scooted back a bit, inviting him to get out of the booth.
"You should try it as well Sans." She insisted, warmth returning to her eyes. "It is truly… one of the most incredible things this world has to offer."
Dogaressa seemed to agree, hearing Toriel's words and stepping back over to them with a bright smile on her face.
"Yes Sans, please do!" The dog monster yipped, offering out a paw to him.
Sans blinked, suddenly pinned under everyone's eyes. His grin became a bit strained and a few beads of sweat formed on his skull as his eyelights darted between them all. When they rested on Toriel again though, he finally relented.
"uh... o-okay…" He said nervously, sliding past Toriel for the moment and sitting on the edge of the booth.
Dogaressa took his hand and laid it against her stomach, pressing it there lightly. Toriel watched the skeleton's eyelights as the sensation became apparent to him. They were uncertain at first, then brightened with surprise then softened into something truly warm and lovely. Soon enough, they had taken on that star shape again, shimmering brightly. Toriel was finding that such a thing was a rarity with him, only ever happening during moments that brought out his purest happiness or excitement. She made a little commitment to herself then, that she'd find more ways to make it happen more often.
"that's… pretty damn cool." Sans said, finally pulling his hand back. "uh... congrats again to you two, heh."
Both dog monsters thanked him then happily embraced each other, pressing their noses together in another round of nuzzling. Sans chuckled and returned to the booth, eyelights still shining a bit as he slipped past Toriel back into his original spot. The dog couple left then, bidding them all a good evening and Dogaressa shot Toriel one last heavy look before following her husband to the table where the rest of the dog monsters were sitting.
Undyne, Alphys, and Papyrus all chatted excitedly about the experience they just had, with Sans jumping in here and there. Toriel stayed quiet though, and it seemed none dared question her about it. She didn't miss the sympathetic glances that they shot their way. Even Undyne seemed to feel a little sorry for her, facial fins drooping slightly whenever she'd look her way. Sans did not give her any of those sad looks however. Instead, she was only a bit surprised when he pressed close to her in the seat, at least as much as he could without it looking… suspicious. He then laid a hand tentatively over her own in a silent show of support.
It was something that had become normal for them, but it was only now that they were in public did she realize how intimate the little acts could be seen as. He was sneaky about it, but that didn't stop her from feeling a touch nervous as she tried to look unaffected in front of the others. But her reservations did not stop her from feeling as though he'd pulled her back to herself, and she turned her paw around a little in order to give his hand a gentle, thankful squeeze. He squeezed back, and it felt like her soul had lept up into her throat, buzzing with a nervous but excited energy.
She was both grateful and disappointed when poor Grillby finally walked over with their drinks, flames looking a little weak from the apparent stress.
"I… apologize for… the wait." The elemental's soft voice crackled, like a low burning fire. "So very… busy."
He set down the drinks on the table in front of them, apparently knowing whose order was which already. He also slid Sans a bottle of ketchup, much to the skeleton's delight.
"aw grillbz, ya shouldn't have." The skeleton said with a grin, opening up the condiment first. "and ya gotta quit working so hard, you'll end up burning yourself out at this rate."
The fire elemental sighed softly in response, a curl of white smoke escaping the faint shape of his mouth. Toriel poorly stifled a giggle, and Grillby shot her a look that was both exasperated and maybe a bit amused before looking back at Sans.
"please... no fire puns tonight… or i'll put that on your tab…" He rasped out in his usual slow manner.
Sans shrugged in response and tilted the bottle back to take a nice big gulp of it. The rest of them thanked the bartender and Toriel in particular slipped some money to Alphys, telling her to make sure the poor elemental got a substantial tip for the night. Then they all turned their attention to their drinks, and they certainly were quite a sight.
All of them had received a tall glass and a smaller shot glass, an odd set up for sure. The tall glass was filled with a liquid brimming with magic that caused it to bubble with a light hissing sound. Curls of ethereal, colorful smoke curled up from the glass as well, also lightly sparkling with magic, and clearly the reason for the name "hot shot". Just what kind of strange concoction had Alphys ordered for them? It was unlike any magical drink Toriel had seen before. Each one of them had received a different color, Toriel's being a light purple that faded into a soft orange within the wisps of magic. She eyed it somewhat warily, as Alphys spoke up from across the table.
"Th-these are the hot shots." She said in a somewhat dramatic voice, waving her hands around her yellow colored drink. "Basically from w-what I've heard, the tall glass is essentially bottomless and y-you can refill the shot glass from it as many times as you dare to… th-though Grillby said you probably shouldn't have more than ten eheheh…"
It took a moment for the lizard monster to realize it was the wrong choice of words in Undyne's case, who only took the proposed limit as a challenge.
"Well, we'll see about that!" She said with a fierce grin of pure determination before, rather aggressively, pouring herself her first shot of it and downing it in a moment.
Her yellow eye went wide and her grin stretched even wider as her facial fins flared out to their full length.
"Woah Al, this stuff is crazy!" She said, quickly refilling her glass. "You sure you don't want to try some Papyrus? It's awesome as hell!"
The skeleton only shot her a hard look from behind his milk glass, taking another sip before replying.
"NO. THANK YOU." He said, firmly. "AND AS YOUR DESIGNATED DRIVER AND VERY COOL FRIEND I SHALL NOT ALLOW YOU TO GO TO EXTREMES HERE. YOU WILL FOLLOW THE LIMITS SET BY GRILLBY OR I SHALL BE FORCED TO TAKE ACTION."
Undyne let out a hearty laugh before downing another shot and flashing him a toothy grin.
"Try it punk!"
As Alphys and Papyrus tried to talk reason into the fish monster, Toriel and Sans were a bit slower to take their first drinks. Toriel would be lying to say she was all too confident in the what she'd been served. As someone with a history of being something of a lightweight, and with how strong the drink in question was being hinted to be, she felt a faint sense of dread grip her then. But her still quite insistent craving for alcohol won out in the end, and she poured the magically tinged drink into the glass. She drank it, not in the traditional way one was supposed to down shots she supposed, but in a more dainty little extended sip.
The rush of magic that met her tongue and warmed her throat as she swallowed made her eyes widen just as Undyne's had. Some of her fur stood on end as well as something like a shock went through her. It was surprising, but not unpleasant, more… exhilarating, in a sense. Not exactly what she was used to feeling when drinking, but something she felt she could get used to. The flavor was also very nice, sweetened with just a bit of heat to counter the bitterness and help it live up to its name. As the initial effect wore off, she looked over to Sans to see how he was taking his.
He looked to be having the same sort of experience she was, sockets wide and hints blue of yellow flickering in his left eyelight as the magical effect of the drink took hold.
"hoo boy, pretty uh… intense stuff huh, tori?" He said, giving his head a little shake in an effort to clear it. "that grillby really is a master of his craft."
"He certainly is." She replied with a somewhat giddy little smile, deciding to wait a bit and see how she was affected before indulging further. "Just be sure you do not have too much, you remember what happened last time, do you not?"
Sans let out an nervous little chuckle at that, eyelights darting away. Before he could reply, Papyrus seconded Toriel's statement, pointing a demanding gloved finger at his brother.
"YES SANS, YOU MUST CONTROL YOURSELF!" He ordered, currently forcing his former boss to take a break by holding her shot glass away from her. "I WILL NOT STAND TO SEE YOU BECOME SO ILL AND UNLIKE YOURSELF AGAIN. NO SILLY DRINK IS WORTH THAT. I ALREADY HAVE TO DEAL WITH UNDYNE'S POOR LIFE CHOICES TONIGHT, DO NOT MAKE ME HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOURS TOO!"
The words actually seemed to sting Sans somewhat, guilt and other emotions making his eyelights go a bit hazy for a moment. But then he regained his composure and forced another one of his usual shrug and wink combos.
"yah yah don't worry papyrus, i'll beer careful, i'll just have a martini bit, nothing to wine about. i wouldn't want to get drunked on after all."
Oh that just wasn't fair, a quadruple hit? Toriel had to cover her mouth with both paws to keep from laughing out loud, unable to keep a few snorts from escaping. Even Alphys chuckled from across the table, as she finally got to take a drink of her own. Undyne was not amused, and Papyrus, even less so.
"GAHHHH ALCOHOL ALWAYS MAKES YOUR PUNS EVEN WORSE!" He lamented, slapping a hand to his face in exasperation. "IT TRULY IS A CURSED DRINK, I VOW NEVER TO TOUCH IT FOR THE REST OF MY DAYS."
His declaration was met by another shrug from his brother, but Sans seemed to decidedly wait awhile before drinking further, favoring his ketchup bottle if only to avoid upsetting his brother. It went on that way for a bit, Toriel, Sans and Alphys being far more responsible in their alcohol consumption, while Undyne downed six more shots before Alphys had Grillby take her drink away. The fish monster had grumbled, but was decently content with the flavored sparkling water she was given afterwards.
In the end Toriel decided to only have a four shots of the special drink, fearing any more would make her more tipsy then she'd like to be. Sans settled on five, and Alphys only had three, perhaps seeing the effect it was having on her girlfriend and deciding against indulging further. Afterwards they all ordered some notably non alcoholic beverages to sip on while they continued to talk, some feeling the effects of the "hot shots" more than the others. Undyne was the only one that could be considered drunk, but everyone save Papyrus was at least a little tipsy. Toriel honestly found she was at an ideal level of mellowed out and giddy from it, her soul pleasantly warm from the newly absorbed magic.
It helped her chat with the others without the same anxiety as before, no longer noticing the looks the other patrons sent her way or lingering on the old pains the encounter with Dogaressa had stirred up. She was actually able to regain some of her old social confidence, and the next hour or so passed with amiable discussions about life, work and other, sillier things that managed to even gets laughs out of Papyrus and Undyne at times. It felt wonderful to hang out with all of them again and feel at ease all the while, even if the alcohol had been a big factor in that. Unfortunately the comfortableness that had been maintained all that time eventually can crumbling down, all because of one well-meaning question from Alphys.
"So T-Toriel, I-I hope you don't think i'm prying but… I just have to ask. Is everything really okay with you? Y-you seem so tired and s-spacey lately… I know you said you've j-just been having trouble sleeping b-but… it seems a little more uh… serious than that?"
The question had immediately made it feel as though the air thickened a bit, especially when the inebriated Undyne sent a slowly forming dark look Toriel's way.
"Yeah Toriiiel… Why don't youu tell us?" She said with a heavy sarcasm through her slurring.
Toriel's claws tightened around her glass of water, tension returning to her body and soul. The tension was clearly felt by everyone else, who eyed her and Undyne with sudden worried looks. Alphys especially looked confused and guilty, clearly trying to work through her nerves to say something. But Toriel let a sigh before she could, setting down her glass and crossing her paws on the tabletop before speaking.
"Undyne, I told you. I cannot tell you the details. It is a…" She paused, resisting a glance at Sans but taking in the abrupt feelings of unease she could feel coming from his soul. "A… personal matter."
A heavy silence amongst the group followed that, and Toriel took another little sip from her glass, trying to look anywhere but at Undyne. Alphys sputtered out a concedement to try and defuse the situation, and Papyrus gave his friend a little consoling pat. But Undyne still growled out something under her breath, harsh and full of alcohol fueled rage. The muttering irritated Toriel more than it usually would, perhaps due to her own inebriation.
"What was that?" Toriel asked, likely against her better judgement.
Undyne teeth grit together in something of a snarl, the question being what set her over the edge.
"I SAID THATS BULLLSHIT!" She outright shouted, facial fins flaring out as she slammed both of her fists down hard on the table. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO ASGORE?!"
The outburst had been loud enough to stun their whole side of the bar into silence. The music and general noisy chatter of the rest of the place kept it from being a complete spectacle like her entrance had been, but Toriel could feel all the eyes of the nearby tables on her along with those from Xena's table and the rest of her own group. An unsettling chill ran through her, feeling fainter than it should have perhaps due to her intoxication. Alphys and Papyrus stared at the fish monster in stunned silence, and Sans went totally stiff beside her. Toriel's soul thrummed quickly in her chest, and nobody moved or spoke for another few moments.
"He's been a wreck the past two daays." Undyne went on, venom coating the words. "He called in sick at the capitol building and has barely left his room since then. He's hardly eaten or talked to us noo matter what I say. And he won't tell me what happened, buut I know you had something to do with it! You just can't help but make him feeel like shit whenever you have the chance! So fesss up already! Stop being a cowaard for once in your life and tell me what you did to him!"
More silence followed, the eyes of her friends and the surrounding patrons now firmly shifting to Toriel in anticipation of her response. Undyne's words confirmed Toriel's suspicions in full about what had been bothering her. But she still had no idea what to say, the alcohol and sudden confused, conflicting emotions welling within her made it hard to focus, not to mention those damn staring eyes boring into her from all angles. Sans shifted a bit beside her, as if preparing to say something, but she spoke before he could, moving to lay a paw gently on his knee beneath the table in a thankful but firm manner.
"Undyne." She said in her usual gentle tone, knowing getting angry or bewildered in any way would only make things worse. "I did not do anything to Asgore. I have not even spoken with him since Monday, and we ended that discussion on fairly good terms. If he is distraught over something, then it likely is due to some other matter he does not wish to discuss."
A brief flicker of confusion and hesitation showed in Undyne's expression before it hardened back into anger, no doubt bolstered by the alcohol.
"I don't believe you." The fish monster growled, facial fins flattening against her cheeks. "I knoow you have something do with it, you are juust too much of a coward to admit it! You actively enjoy watching him suffer oover how much he misses you. You treat him like dirt, as if what you did back then wasn't just as terrible."
Her anger was building then, rising in her along with things she had clearly been dying to say for a long, long time. Toriel could see it coming like the receding of the ocean before a great tidal wave, and all she could do was hold her ground and let that wave of rage filled words wash over her.
"Yah he killed thoose human kids. I won't defend that, especially now thaat I know Frisk. Iff they were anything like them, then what he did was inexcusable. But you abandoned your kingdom and everyone in it! You left us all behind like we were nothing and left Asgorre to rule a withering hopeless kingdom alone. You chose the humans, the ones who imprisoned uss, and youur own selfish morals over the monsters that you swoore to serve!"
More eyes turned their way following Undyne's words, and out of the corner of Toriel's eye, she could see Grillby watching as well, though she could not make out his expression. If Toriel had worried over the ire her former subjects had for her before, she could only imagine how their souls were twisting with hatred towards her now, spurred on by these words. She could voice no defense for herself, not like she would have in the old days. Because, for in all reality, Undyne was right.
She had abandoned them, a kingdom she felt had betrayed her and her beloved Chara as much as Asgore had. She had decided to pursue her own morals and act out of desperation and pain instead of staying and trying to reason with her ex-husband further. She had done all that and more. Her soul carried that terrible guilt and the weight of all her resounding sins. She'd never truly, fully regret what she'd done, knowing she'd hate herself far more if she had even considered giving into Asgore's plans of genocide. But that didn't mean her actions weren't harmful, It didn't mean that she could escape the consequences, or the justified hatred of those her choices had hurt.
Undyne jabbed an accusing pointed finger at Toriel, jagged yellow teeth flashing. Alphys and the others seemed to only be able to helplessly watch.
"Stop tryying to act like you don't deserve the same shit that you give him. Stop treating him like gaarbage all the goddamn time! You are no better!"
The words struck like a blow to her soul, crushing and deep and letting all her darker suppressed guilt seep from the wound like blood. She still could say nothing, only stare into the pained depths of the enraged fish monster's eyes. Then her gaze drifted over to all of the other patrons of the bar, most of whom were drawn into the situation at this point, and were staring back at her. None of this was truly new information for them, but hearing it like this may indeed be a first for them.
Looking around at all those faces, all those mixed reactions of anger, concern, fear, confusion and so much more from her former subjects, letting Undyne's words sink in and dig their ruthless claws into her soul, listening to that venomous voice of self-hatred in her head gleefully berate her, she knew what she had to do.
With little warning, she took a deep, slow breath and then stood from the booth, eyes dull and heavy. Then she slid out took and two steps away from them all, just enough that her intentions were clear. As she expected, Undyne's rage reignited in an instant.
"Where the hell arre you going?!" She shouted, standing from the booth as well and almost immediately swaying to the point that Papyrus had to steady her.
She could hardly bear to meet their eyes then, but did nonetheless. Alphys looked nervous, fiercely apologetic and was shying from the all intense gazes as much Toriel herself wished too. Papyrus looked almost ready to cry, so conflicted and unsure of what to do as he strained to keep his angry, drunken friend upright. And Sans, oh how she feared to meet his gaze. But to her surprise, he was not looking at her. Instead he was glaring at Undyne, eyelights sharp, and the left one perhaps carrying just a hint of light blue and yellow magic. When he did turn to her, it was with a nervous and sympathetic expression, with no hint of the newly realized anger towards her she had feared would be there.
Honestly, what had she ever done to deserve such a monster like him in her life?
"I am going to speak with my ex-husband." She announced, in her old projected royal tone, so that all could hear. "If his state is as poor as you say, then it could affect all of monsterkind if he continues on this way. He is needed, especially in times as uncertain as these. If he will not speak with you about what is troubling him, perhaps he will speak to me…"
She bowed her head then, probably looking as far from her past regal self as she ever had. She kept her tone as strong as she could manage through the alcohol in her system and her swirling emotions. But perhaps it was only thanks to her intoxication, and a few other notable factors, that she was able to go through with this at all.
"And you are right Undyne, I have been cowardly. I have stewed in my resentment and hidden from my pain long enough." She admitted, having to fight back her pride's attempt to silence her." I… will do what I can to make things right. Or at least… start to. You have my word on that, for whatever it is worth. That goes for everyone here… and all of monsterkind."
She dared another look at the fish monster then, to find the fire in her eye had faded and she was looking at Toriel with genuine surprise, clearly unsure how to feel. That brought Toriel some faint flicker of relief, but she did not dwell on it, quickly turning to look at Alphys.
"Thank you for inviting me out Alphys…" She said, genuinely. "Despite everything, I enjoyed it and I am glad I came. Please do not feel badly about any of this. Perhaps, you all should stay out a little longer, try and enjoy the rest of your evening. This is something I feel me and Asgore will need time alone to solve."
The lizard monster blinked, shrinking down a bit further as many eyes turned to her. But then she nodded, expression softening up somewhat as relief and understanding shone in her eyes. With that settled, Toriel turned at last to look at Sans, unable to keep her eyes from warming ever so slightly as she did.
"Sans, would you be willing to shortcut me to Asgore's home? I feel Papyrus is certainly going to need the van to get the others home later." She said, turning her body slowly towards the door.
Sans almost seemed to be expecting it, not flinching quite as much as Alphys when the center of attention was placed on him. Though his eyelights wavered slightly and a few beads of sweat dripped down his skull, he kept his gaze locked with hers.
"s-sure tori…" He managed with a weak, somewhat bewildered little grin.
He wasted little time in slipping out of the booth and walking to her side. He turned back once to face the others again, rubbing the back of his skull in a nervous little motion.
"guess i'll uh... catch you guys later… heh."
It was a rather poor attempt at levity, but it somehow managed to cut the tension a bit and Alphys and Papyrus managed small, nervous smiles of their own and waved him goodbye. Some of the other patrons began to softly speak to each other again around them as well, as though a spell had been broken. Toriel may have been focusing on the door the whole time she walked, but she was surprised by what she heard amongst the mutterings as she and Sans headed for the exit.
There wasn't much anger to be found in their tones. There was more concern than anything. For Asgore, for Undyne and most shockingly, for her. Indeed, one voice she recognized as Dogaressa's was near fretful with worry, voicing what sounded to be nearly tearful concern to her husband that Toriel may be so hurt by Undyne's words that she'd never come back to Grillby's again. It was as though the actual vitriol and message behind Undyne's words had not phased many of them at all.
The confused relief she felt almost summoned tears to her own eyes, but she didn't allow herself to think too much of it. For if so many of them were truly this forgiving, it only made her past betrayal of them all the more shameful.
Once outside, beneath the little overhang that sat above the door, she found herself faced again with the dreary gray sky and the continual downpour. She found it something of a comfort now, feeling as though the world were reflecting the inner turmoil of her soul. There was a beat where she and Sans remained silent, just watching the rain, then he laid his hand on her arm and looked up at her.
"tori... are you okay?" He asked hesitantly, eyelights surprisingly soft.
She chuckled humorlessly, the sound almost lost to the pounding of the rain.
"I thought we agreed that was a foolish question to ask in times such as these, did we not?" She replied softly, running a paw down her face.
Sans mirrored her little chuckle, shutting his sockets briefly and slipping his hands back into his jacket pockets.
"right, sorry…" He said, smile becoming a little strained. "geez… that was real shitty of her… to say all that i mean. don't… take it too hard okay? i'm sure the others get that she was just angry and drunk… they won't..."
He trailed off, only the sound of the sky's watery assault on the world below filling the air for a few moments. Then Toriel let out another sigh and forced more strength into her voice.
"Undyne's words carry truth with them, harsh as they were." She reminded him, red eyes hazy. "Did nothing she said… resonate with you? Make you feel differently about me? I understand if they did. You do not have to lie to spare my feelings."
She kept her eyes on the pouring rain, but she felt his gaze snap up to her, and then his hand resting on her side again shortly after.
"tori... i'm in no place to judge you." He said, voice heavy. "i have no idea how i would have reacted in your situation. i think we've all done some pretty awful, messed up stuff, and that we're all pretty messed up people. but... that doesn't mean we aren't… uh... still good, right?"
He seemed to cringe a bit at his own, almost Papyrus-like sincerity there at the end, covering his face briefly with a hand in exasperation.
"ah geez, listen to me… sorry, i'm pretty tipsy right now, not exactly making much sense, heh." He said, flashing her his usual, inebriated, wobbly smile.
Toriel managed another soft laugh, far stronger than the last. The warmth blooming in her soul from his response kept the terrible ache inside soothed for the moment. She reached over and gently rested a paw on top of his skull.
"Your words are always a comfort dear, do not fret. Thank you, truly. I will be alright." She assured him, feeling a small, more legitimate smile work its way onto her face. "I must ask that you take me to Asgore's home now though, before I… how did you put it back then? "Lose the nerve to do this.""
Sans' eyelights had warmed with her first statement, but then dulled with unease again at her last, eyeing her nervously. But after a moment he nodded, forcing back up a small grin.
"alright, just beer warned, this might be a bit less smooth of a ride than usual, on account of alcohol." He quipped, shooting her a wink.
It was such a little, normal thing, offering her a pun to cheer her up. But in that moment it just felt so meaningful to her that the genuine giggles that escaped her came with a flood of that warm feeling of love, guarding her soul further from the pain that wished to tear at it. After taking out and opening her large umbrella in anticipation and Sans giving her some proper time to prepare herself, the two vanished from the front stoop of Grillby's with a flash, briefly sending dancing colors across the sheets of falling rain.
The alcohol's effect on his system did indeed cause the shortcut to be a bit more intense than usual. It haphazardly dumped them with a bit more force than what was ideal onto the end of the stone walkway that led up to Asgore, Undyne and Alphys' shared home. They both had to right themselves quickly to avoid falling onto the sodden ground, huddling together under the umbrella as the dizziness and faint twinge of nausea wore off. Thankfully, Toriel found she was getting more used to enduring the strain of teleportation and was able to get her head to clear rather quickly.
She wasted little time then in heading towards the house, expecting Sans to teleport back to the others now that they had arrived. But he didn't, he stayed and walked right alongside her, pressing close as to share the safety of the umbrella from the heavy rain. Toriel again felt a surge of gratitude and the inevitable flutterings of her soul, certainly bolstered by the alcohol in her system. But she had to push all that aside for now and focus on the task at hand, or at least… try to.
After being silent for a bit, Sans finally spoke up and Toriel could now more clearly sense the unease radiating out from his soul.
"are you sure about all this, tori? seems a little… sudden. you don't have to do this just because undyne said all that, y'know?"
Toriel's smile softened at his concern, and that old selfish part of her voiced its own agreement, but she smothered it and pressed on, replying without taking her eyes off the house.
"It is just as you said of your need to destroy your old lab." She said, elevating her voice over the pouring of the rain. "This is something I have to do, and have been avoiding for far, far too long. Undyne's words only made that more clear. If me and Asgore are ever to truly move on and begin healing from what happened in our past, then it must be done. As terrible… horrific as his actions were, he deserves that too. And Undyne is right, my own soul is far from guiltless in all of this. We cannot continue to let all this pain and resentment fester, for it is only a poison for everyone involved. You understand, do you not?"
"yah… i understand, tori." He said, in a dull, but earnest tone. "but… are you really sure you're up for this right now though?"
She knew the true meaning of his words, this time sparing a heavy glance down at him for a moment. Her own soul gave an uneasy churn, but she hoped it was from a simpler matter than what she feared, and she carried the same hope for the nature of his question.
"If you are referring to the alcohol, worry not. It might not be ideal to have in my system while handling this, but I will be fine, dear. It is not enough to impair me. I can handle this."
She didn't come quite as confident as she wished, but her resolution was evident enough. Still, Sans' unease did not wane. In fact, she swore she felt it worsen, meeting her own unsettled magic in somewhat erratic waves.
"i... didn't just mean the alcohol, tori…" He said, tone suddenly serious.
Toriel abruptly stopped then, just a few feet from the steps of Asgore's home. She was quiet for a moment, his words and their implications stinging her soul harshly for a few moments. The rain pounded down around them, unyielding, endless.
"I know." She said quietly, deflating a bit. "My issues with him still linger, that fear, that sick feeling of dread. The… PTSD as you were right to call it. I may never be fully rid of it, but I know it certainly won't improve by me going on the way I have. This is something I must do. And truthfully Sans… you are the one who helped me realize that."
With that she turned to face him, angling the umbrella so they remained beneath it. Sans blinked up at her, faint confusion etched on his features. Her smile turned warm again, as the admiration in her soul was willed into her words.
"You have shown so much bravery throughout this, dear, no matter how much despair and pain it has forced you to relive, you have found the strength to push on with it, and do what had to be done regardless. It is high time I start learning a thing or two from you and do the same, is it not?"
He blinked again, then seemed to accept the truth of her words and managed a weak, empty little grin, along with a light blush across his cheekbones for the praise. A slow nod in response was all he gave to her question, but Toriel could tell he was wishing to say more, so she waited, hoping to encourage him. He shuffled his now sodden slippers a bit and his eyelights darted to the house, carrying a hint of anxiety and something else she couldn't quite catch.
"do you, uh… think you two will…" He started to ask, but quickly trailed off, losing the will to finish.
There was something like resignation in his voice, a kind of sadness. But it was a sadness overshadowed by guilt, as if he did not feel justified in feeling such an emotion, as if his sadness was something he felt deeply selfish for. And soon enough it all just burned away to shame, as he forced a weary, fake grin back into place.
"uh, n-nevermind… heh… just good luck, y'know?" He said with feigned casualness, giving her a little wink.
He took a small step back, probably preparing to shortcut himself back to the others, or even back home perhaps. But it mattered not, for Toriel reached out then and gently laid her free paw on his arm, stopping him with her touch. He blinked up at her again, and those little lights within his sockets seemed to look through to her very soul.
She knew what it was he feared, though she found it so surprising, almost laughable, that she almost couldn't believe it. But those feelings were unwarranted, for with how she'd been restraining herself from telling him how she felt, of course there would be some part of him that was plagued with such doubts. She had been plagued with the very same doubts on a regular basis, had she not? Her poor, dear skeleton, if only he knew.
But in that moment, she found that concept ridiculous. Why couldn't he know? What was stopping her now? Clearly his feelings for her were deep enough that he'd worry over such things, that the thought of her with another would hurt him, even if he wouldn't admit it. Her original fears had been that sharing her true feelings would overwhelm him, strain their newfound bond and be an unneeded, even debilitating stress on him during a time where he was struggling with so many things. But if she was wrong, it might just be the opposite. Perhaps, as she had considered before… this could be what help gave him hope for the future again.
That idea, the boldness granted to her by the alcohol flowing through her magic, and the fact her own feelings were practically erupting into a blaze within her soul, was what finally broke her resolve. The words themselves did not feel appropriate for that very moment, but there was something she could do that would serve the purpose well enough.
Before any doubts had time to creep in again, she knelt down to his level, heedless of her dress becoming wet in the process, pulled him close with her free paw and pressed a kiss against his teeth, as she been wishing to for so very long. Both their souls spiked with emotion, almost making it feel as though time had stopped. Sans inevitably reacted in surprise, but all the uneasy emotions she'd felt from him melted away mere moments later, leaving the magic flowing from his soul wonderfully warm and radiant as it met her own. He couldn't quite return the kiss obviously, but he did at least press back into it, reaching shaky hands to lighty grip at the sides of her face.
Their magic seemed to leap and flow between them and all around them in that moment. Their souls reached out to each other by effortless instinct alone, giving the sensation their emotions were shared equally between them, as though feeling everything as a singular entity. For the moments the kiss lasted, all Toriel could hear was the roaring of the rain and the roaring in her ears. It was bliss, pure bliss she hadn't dared to dream she'd experience ever again. Then reality had to stick its claws in her once more, reminding her of what she had come here to do. Though she wished more than anything to just stay with him, to revel in what had just happened at long last, she knew what had to be done.
She allowed her lips to linger a few more moments, before reluctantly pulling away and meeting his gaze again. To say her dear skeleton looked about as flustered, happy and confused as could be would be an understatement. The cyan coloring on his face was enough to rival the sea of echo flowers in Waterfall. His grin was wide, wobbly and downright giddy and his eyelights were shimmering, perhaps brighter than she'd ever seen them. Most striking of all regarding them though was that they were not the star shape she somewhat expected but heart shaped instead, something she had not even known was a possibility with him.
He wished to say something, perhaps a million different things but Toriel knew that this was not the right time to have that conversation and that if he did start it, she may not be able to resist the urge to be drawn into it right along with him. So with a gentle motion, she covered his mouth with a paw to halt any potential attempts at speaking, scarlet eyes nearly matching his with their deep, shining warmth.
"I must go now…" She said, surprised at how strong her voice was. "But I hope… that was enough to banish whatever worries weighed on your soul."
She removed her paw and his wonderful smile remained as he tried to formulate a decent reply, reduced to a rather stuttery mess.
"y-y-yah…y-yup... s-sure was." He finally managed, before letting out a breathless, exuberant little chuckle.
He met her gaze one more time, that same reluctance to leave that she felt shining there in the bright lights of his eyes. But understanding washed that away, accepting her words with a somewhat shaky nod.
"i-i guess i'll uh… s-see you l-later then, h-heh..." He stuttered out, the enduring elation in his expression making her soul soar within her.
He sobered up somewhat then, the shock wearing off into a comfortable sort of bliss. But he still put some of the necessary weight into his final words before departing.
"good luck tori." He said in a stronger voice, and perhaps with one of the warmest smiles she'd ever seen from him.
Then he was gone in the usual flash, leaving her alone with her own swirling emotions. It was only once he was gone that the true weight of what had happened set in and she briefly felt her entire face burn in the wake of that realization. They had crossed the threshold, the line that had previously defined their relationship as platonic, leaving the future to be uncertain surely but so very full of possibility. Possibilities that made her soul seem to overflow with a giddy sort of excitement.
That bitter, mocking voice in her head was silent and the sting from Undyne's outburst had dulled to the point it barely registered, unable to possibly take away from the satisfaction and joy of the moment. But she did have to repress those feelings somewhat after a bit, knowing that she needed to tackle what she was about to do with a clearer head than one of a silly, lovestruck lady who had clearly worried too much.
It took some time, but eventually she was able to ride out the little wave of euphoria and focus again, allowing the joy of the moment to shift into the strength that she required for the task ahead. She took one last deep breath before climbing the stairs to the house and standing before the door. Today was set to be a day of beginnings, of steps, and of endings it seemed. All equally important in finally coming to fruition.
Toriel resolutely raised one paw and knocked on her ex-husband's door.
