Chloe had always been a caring person, at least for as long as Beca knew her anyway and she was more than confident that Chloe had been like that her entire life. But, she just doesn't understand how her girlfriend can do it. She just knew what to do for each person at any given time. It was like a superpower, a superpower that baffled Beca in the most confusing way possible.
When Stacie had come down with the flu, and it was gross, it really was, she wouldn't let anyone in the room but somehow Chloe managed to worm her way in, insisting that she needed to take care of her. No one even knew she was in there until Beca had been exiting her own room when Chloe slipped inside. And after four days of being completely alone, the day Chloe went in was the day Stacie came out, stating she felt a lot better.
When Jess's mother had died, Chloe was the one holding her. Ashley had been visiting her own parents at the time-it was spring break-and Beca distinctively remembers only about 5 of them actually staying in the house those 2 weeks. And Jess had cried, God she cried so hard that Beca had to leave the room otherwise she herself would cry. But Chloe, Chloe had held her on that sofa, whispering sweet nothing's into her ear for God knows how long. And when the blonde had fell asleep, probably from exhaustion, Chloe carried-yes, carried-her up to bed and when Beca saw her taking the stairs like it was nothing-she won't lie-she was very attracted to her. But, what shocked Beca the most is when she had come to collect the redhead to take her to her own room, Chloe had turned towards Ashley's bed, whispering she would stay the night just in case. So, Beca had stayed too, tucked behind Chloe, against the wall so Chloe could easily get up. They had ended up sleeping in that bed for another 2 nights-just in case.
And then there was the little things. Like when Cee would get a bit too agitated and go off on one but Chloe, being Chloe, was always the one calming her down. Heck, she was the only one who knew how. Sometimes it was taking the girl to have a quiet chat somewhere in a soft voice or others it was sternly telling her to go for a walk or take a time out for an hour or two. And she just knew which approach to take. Or when Emily had first moved into the house, even before then now that Beca thinks about it, and the brunette would get so anxious and panicky that she was an inch away from giving herself a panic attack, Chloe would be there. Taking Em up to either one of their rooms-more often than not it was the captains-lying down with her and just slowly running her fingers up and down the girls back. Beca had walked in on it before, she'd been in the room when they came in before too, Chloe shooting her a look to just go with it and not ask questions-she would explain later. And now it was a normal thing.
But Chloe has those little things for all the Bellas, so Beca doesn't know why she's always so surprised when Chloe knows exactly what to do for her. And she can't believe this is what she's thinking about, led in her bed with the duvet brought all the way to her chin, being as close to the wall as she could get. But then her mind wonders, and Beca's not really sure if she even allowed it to. But it is. And all her attention is on this one crack on her wall and she's that close to it that she could probably wiggle her finger and just, just about touch it. She doesn't even know why she's so attracted to it, interested in it. But she is. So, she just let's her eyes go up and down this crack, memorising every bump and edge there is. Because, she can't bring herself to get out of bed, she just simply can't do it. Beca can't even remember the last time she had a day like this because sure she had had bad days whilst living here-in the Bellas house-but never this bad. Not to point where she couldn't get up. All she can seem to do is take shaky breaths and stare at this freakin crack. She knows that she's been there for a while, hours, and she knows she's missed her only class for the day, but she can't bring herself to worry about that right now.
Beca's not even sure how this happened, because she had got up, went to the bathroom and brushed her teeth but then she sat back down and just fell. Not just physically, because yes, she fell back into the mattress, catching her head on the wall as she went, but emotionally too. And she knows that Chloe will worry about the spot of blood on the wall from her head, which is probably all over her pillow by now. But it's not bleeding that bad, Beca knows that-she would have gotten up if it had been but she's pretty sure it's stopped now so she's not worried about it. Realistically though, she knows that Chloe's going to be more worried about Beca's emotional state because yes, Beca had told her about these days, but Chloe's never actually seen it. And Beca's almost tempted to lock the door so she can't. But she doesn't.
And that's when she hears it, just about. The other Bella's coming home, the loud voices echoing through the house and the front door slamming so hard that it makes her body flinch. It hits her like a ton of bricks then-it's Friday. All of them finish classes within 10 minutes of each other so naturally, they all collect as a group and walk home together. So Beca knows her absence will be noticed, more so than any other day of the week. But that also reminds her of just how long she's been led there-it's probably nearing 5 now.
Her senses kick in then, the stampede of feet on the stairs making itself known. She couldn't be more thankful that her and Chloe have the attic room-no one usually comes up unless they want something. But Beca knows the chances of them coming up-its high-so decides to close her eyes, trapping out her wall, and hoping, praying, that everything else goes with it. Including the opening of the door at the bottom of the stairs.
And she tenses, visibly tenses. Her breaths are still shaky but there's not a lot she can do about that.
"Becs?" Chloe's calling out before she even reaches the top of the stairs-Beca knows from the sound of her voice. She hears the creak of the landing step and then something's dropped. But then Beca hears the creak of the step again.
"Em, can you go get the first aid kit for me? Ask someone else if you can't find it," she hears Chloe say on her way over. The voice is getting louder, so she knows Chloe's close.
But then the bed's dipping down and she feels Chloe sit near the bottom of her back, facing her-she can feel it-and place her hand on Beca's arm, the duvet in-between their skin.
"Beca, can you open your eyes?" Chloe whispers, moving her hand up and down Beca's arm. Beca doesn't even know how to respond, because she can but she can't at the same time, but it's not like she can tell Chloe that. She doesn't even think to question how Chloe can tell she's awake because of course she can. Her body decides for her, letting out an exceptional shaky breath which shakes her entire body. "Alright Becs, you're okay, I got you," she continues, keeping her voice quiet. And that's when Beca knows. Knows that Chloe understands what's happening. "I'm just going to move the duvet down, okay?" Beca tries to nod, she thinks she does. It's small and hardly there but she's pretty sure she manages it. The duvet moves, uncovering her hands that had somehow intertwined in this whole ordeal, but Chloe makes sure to keep it as high as she can. Beca knows, in her hazy thoughts, somehow, that Chloe just wants to get to her hands. The thoughts confirmed when Chloe's own left-hand slips in-between hers and knots one hands fingers together. Beca can feel the coldness of the ring on Chloe's middle finger, one that she had bought her, and it makes her wonder how something so cold can be associated with Chloe. It's like polar bears in the arctic, Beca loves polar bears, they might just be her favourite animal, but they live in such a cold environment that she almost feels sorry for them. But then again, she wants that coldness, to ground her and keep things interesting. Even things out.
Her other hand shifts to the back of Chloe's and her finger's find the metal, playing with it and pushing and turning it in any direction she can on Chloe's finger.
And she can't stop. She feel's Chloe's hand still running up and down somewhere and she hears the door open again and the muffle of voices which she knows isn't Chloe but most, if not all, of her attention is on this ring on Chloe's hand.
The bed dips again and Beca can tell there's someone else in the room but she's not sure who and how many are actually witnessing this right now. Which kind of scares her. Because she definitely doesn't want all of the Bella's to see her like this. If any. But she knows that won't happen.
"Jess is going to look at your head a minute, Becs," Chloe explains, and Beca can only imagine the silent conversation they had when the blonde came in. "It might sting," she adds on. To be honest, Beca should have guessed it would be Jess. There was only 3 Bella's who actually had a first aid certificate-they're all on this bed-and there was no way Chloe could see to her head when Beca was like this. If they were the only ones home then yeah, she would have to, but Beca needed someone to hold onto right now and that was Chloe's first priority now. And Beca's thankful for that.
Jessica's fingers make themselves known on her head, she can feel them pealing her hair away lightly, obviously trying to actually see the wound. But Beca's not really paying attention to that. She's still fiddling with the ring, distracting herself from what's really happening around her. She's pretty sure no one else is in the room, but she knows, can just tell, that they all know about this. Things travel like wildfire in this house. Beca can remember when she had finally got the internship and, she hadn't even told anyone yet, walking into the house, she was immediately bombarded by Chloe and then the rest of them until they were in this massive group hug usually saved for special occasions.
The thing is, she knows she's safe around the Bellas, no matter how much banter (bullying) is thrown back and forth, usually at her, she knows she's safe and Beca's pretty sure everyone feels that way. At least, that's what her and Chloe have tried to provide between them, somehow, and she's almost completely sure that they've pulled it off.
So, she shouldn't be surprised when her eyes open on their own, without her allowance but somehow, she encourages it. And she feels dizzy and tired, keeping her eyes open, but she knows that it'll comfort Chloe and she figures she should give her something right about now.
"Hey, you," Chloe whispers, squeezing Beca's hand and running her hand up and down her upper back from where the duvet had to be pulled down.
"Hi, Chlo," Beca croaks, or at least she's pretty sure she does. It could all be in her head for all she knows. But Chloe squeezes her hand so she's relatively sure she's been heard.
Chloe starts talking about the time they had went ice skating for the first time-and naturally Beca sucked. But Chloe loved to skate and when Beca finally revealed that she had never even stepped on ice, her girlfriend has insisted they went. She had basically dragged her there.
But right now, after the fact she acknowledges the story, she lets her eyes drift to Chloe, whose speaking about it so animatedly that Beca can almost imagine it. But she doesn't let herself, she just wants to stare at the redhead for a while, taking in her beauty. Because, yes, Chloe was beautiful-anyone can see that-but Beca got to see it on a whole new level. The kind of beauty that comes around once in a blue moon when it came to people. The kind that cares so, so much about everyone else that they're just so…selfless and Beca wonders how something as innocent and beautiful as Chloe can even be put on the earth.
Chloe's eyes catch hers as she finishes her story, comforting smile on her lips, and Beca takes a moment to really, truly look at Chloe's eyes. They're just so…blue. But she's never seen a kind of blue like that before and it amazes her how comforting a colour can be. Because right now, she's fairly certain that those eyes, blue eyes, are the only thing keeping her here, grounded.
She can vaguely feel Jessica's hands on her head, one going off every now and then and Beca can tell that it's not a small cut-Jess would be done and gone by now if it was.
And she almost expects Jessica's hand to stray off somewhere and return-it's been happening in a rhythm that Beca didn't even know she was keeping track off-but what she didn't expect was the sting that came with it.
Her face scrunches and her hand squeezes Chloe's and she can briefly feel Chloe's hand rub her back with a little bit more force now. It might, just might, be the reason she whispers "Chlo," a bit louder than last time.
"It's alright, sweetie, it's almost done now," Chloe leans towards her as she says it, kind of awkwardly leaning on Beca's hip and waist. Because Beca still hasn't moved. But, she also can't remember or even recall a time when Chloe called her 'sweetie' because sure, she had heard her say it on numerous occasions to a handful of the Bellas, but never to her. And it kind of hits her then how serious this whole thing is. Because, she can't recall something like this ever happening in the house before. She would know if it had, all the details behind it too-being captain made her privy to those kinds of things.
The sharp sting feeling's been replaced by a numb version of itself now and Jess's hands retreat for a bit longer this time.
"Chloe, we should really wrap this around to…umm protect it for the night," Jessica's whisper echoes in the corner they're all in. Beca takes note of Jess's voice-how unsure she sounds-Beca doesn't think she's ever heard it like that before.
Before she knows what's happening, her hand disconnects from Chloe's to let her elbow lift her up and her body twists, so she can fully sit up. Chloe holds her hands out for Beca to take, helping her up the rest of the way as Beca's legs become crossed and the redhead's right in front of her. She knows her movements are slow, probably too slow, but Beca's just glad that she's actually moving.
By the time she looks into the redhead's eyes again, she's dizzy and lightheaded, while the rooms lightly spinning. Her head droops down to face her lap and she tries to take deep breaths, in and out, like she's had to tell the other Bellas countless times before. She can feel Chloe's hands on her forearms now, rubbing soft circles with her thumb and Beca knows that she must be shitting herself right now because although Chloe doesn't show it most of the time-she worries a lot.
Beca plans on lifting her head, giving both Chloe and Jess some relief, but Chloe beats her to it. Her peach painted fingers, number 027 if she remembers correctly, coming up to Beca's cheeks, and slowly tilting her head to look at the redhead. She sways slightly but then Jess is wrapping something around her head and there's a slight pressure where the sting was once, but her attention stays on the blue eyes in front of her and the thumbs gently stroking her cheekbones, back and forth.
All Beca can think is how she hates this. Actually, hates it. It's like she's lost all control and she's not even sure why or how it happened, how she got here. It's like she just had a complete shift since last night. Because last night she had been fine-Amy sliding down the stairs on that freakin sledge, stating she was 'teaching Legacy how to do this shit properly'. And then her and Chloe had gone to bed, admittedly earlier than usual, but they just led there-in this bed-and talked while lying in one another's arms. Because that's what they did. That's what they both liked to do when the time came to calm down for the night. All the Bella's have their things and it's gotten to the point where everyone knows everybody's before bed things.
Ashley and Jessica would sit on the couch having a chat about their day, the lights low and usually cuddled against one another in some way, and sometimes the odd person or two would join them. Stacie, if she was even home, always made a hot chocolate, took it to her room and sat in bed reading for an hour or two. Everyone was a bit shocked when they had learned that one. Even more so when they all found out that Stacie wore glasses. Emily either wondered around the house, looking for something to do, or she'd come up to their room for an hour to just chat. And Chloe and Beca were fine with that; as captains it was kind of their duty to look after the youngest. Flo would sit on the back porch or grass, a cup of tea in hand, and just took an hour to herself. And anyone else would think it's weird how Beca can automatically just know what the other's do, but they live together, so she just sees it as a normal thing now.
She's still questioning what triggered this when she hears the first aid box close with a click and then some shifting on the bed. One of Chloe's hands are still on her face, the other now placed on her upper arm.
"Thank you, Jess, do you think you could tell Stace to order our usual please?" Chloe asks as Jessica stands, box in hand. It's Friday-movie night-which automatically means Chinese takeout, that Chloe or Stacie usually end up ordering because they're the only ones who can remember everything. So, obviously today it would be the latter. Beca guesses Jessica nods as Chloe mutters a brief, "thank you," before turning back to Beca.
"Thanks Jess," Beca manages to mumble as the creak of the floor board sounds again. She hears a quiet, "no problem" before the click of the door sounds.
And then it's just her and Chloe.
They just look at each other for a moment, trying to silently access the situation and what's happening next between them. Chloe leans forward slightly, pressing her lips to the brunette's forehead before moving back an inch, still staying close.
"Are you okay to move?" Is the decided approach they're taking. Beca only offers a slight nod-she's pretty sure, with Chloe there, she could manage it.
So, Chloe moves slowly away from her, standing at the side of the bed and waiting for, Beca can only guess, her to move and join the redhead.
On shaky hands, Beca leans back and extends her legs, shuffling to the edge of the bed, gripping the mattress each side of her when she gets there. Beca doesn't even know why. But she's not sure how this whole standing thing will go, and she knows Chloe's there, but it still scares her, somehow.
She takes a deep breath and goes for it, rising to find Chloe waiting for her and an arm wrapping around her waist almost immediately. Like Chloe knew she was apprehensive about this.
The arm around her loosens slightly after the first few steps, obviously seeing she was fine by herself, but it always lingers, never strays. Beca's sure Chloe's trying to guide her to the opposite bed but all she wants is to go splash some cold water on her face and just hope that it pushes her a bit more towards reality. Because Beca's hella missing it. "Can we go to the bathroom, please?" Beca asks, tilting her head towards the redhead on her right. Her right hand is on Beca's forearm, the other hovering around her back.
"Yeah, of course," of course, Chloe replies with a smile on her face, Beca doesn't know why she even questions it anymore.
The creak of the floor board sounds again and Beca can't think of a time, other than now, that she actually appreciated the noise. Usually-and by that she means every day-she'd complain that it needed to be fixed and it's ruining her life. And that's putting it lightly. She had even had a full-on tantrum about it once and sure, she had been pissed anyway, probably with Amy, but that didn't make it any less significant. The worst part was that she hadn't calmed down until Chloe had full on tackled her onto the bed, straddling her while pinning her wrists down, and threatening to either tickle her to death or send her to a therapist for her weird outbursts. Beca still doesn't know which one would be worse.
But, right now, it's reminding her where she is. That she's in the Bella house and she's safe. And maybe that's the reason that she actually finds the strength to walk down the stairs, admittedly with Chloe's help-and the wooden poles-and make it to the bathroom. Because, Beca's fairly certain that if nobody(Chloe) came home, she would still be in that corner, not having moved an inch.
"I'll be up in a bit?" Beca whispers just as they make it to the door, Chloe's arm securely around her waist now. But it's not there for protection or help-Beca knows that-it's there for comfort and for Chloe to remind Beca that she's there and she's not going anywhere.
The arm retracts as the brunette's hands push the door open and she hears a quiet, "Okay," before turning, kissing Chloe once on the lips, giving her a small smile, and closing the door.
Her first order of business is to pee, because God she had been bursting for about an hour now and she was fairly confident that pee would come out any second. So, she sits and for some unknown reason, her thoughts go to Jesse. She feels kind of bad because she hadn't given him one thought for what must've been months, but then she reminds herself why they hadn't talked for months, maybe a year now. It's not even like things had ended badly, it was mutual, and they had both agreed to stay friends-more than agreed-they had wanted to stay friends. At least, that's what she thought. But, then Jesse started rejecting her calls, not answering her texts, even blocked her number after a while. And it hurt, hurt like a bitch, because she had loved Jesse, probably still does. And just because she's in love with Chloe, it doesn't make the fact that she loves Jesse any less significant. There was nothing she could do but accept it, Jesse obviously found it too hard to be friends so sure she respected that, what she didn't respect is the fact he completely shut her out without a word. Chloe had tried to reassure that he was probably hurting and that if he didn't realise what he was missing and come back, he wasn't worth a second. And Beca had nodded and agreed. But then he didn't come back, and she should have been prepared by then but God it hit her hard, like the time Amy had started a pile on and Beca was suddenly on the bottom of it all. But he still wasn't here, and she hadn't given him a second. Until now.
The thought quickly evaporates as the sound of maybe a game of…tag, Beca's fairly certain it's tag, can be heard from downstairs and she finds herself smiling because of course they would be playing tag in the middle of a house on a Friday night.
She quickly washes her face and finds her way back to the room, which had been fine until the steps were involved because she can do them, Beca knows, she just really doesn't want to right now. "Chlo, we need a stair lift," she mumbles as she reaches the top.
"Even though I 100% agree with you, I don't think that's in the budget, Becs," Chloe bounces back, her back towards her as she throws the pillow down from changing the sheets. Beca shuffles towards Chloe's bed, sitting down, and lazily smiles because, yes, that is definitely 100% true. She can see that Chloe's changed into some sweats and an old band tee now, which Beca's sure used to be hers. She's pretty much given up on separating her and Chloe's lazy, lay around, clothes now; they both just grab what looks comfy at the time. "How you feeling?" Chloe continues, coming to sit next to Beca, her hand resting on her thigh.
Beca just takes a deep breath because God how does she explain this to Chloe? She's never been good with words. "I…umm…I don't know. Kinda shaky?" Chloe nods in understanding, moving her thumb in circles across the fabric of Beca's sweats. "Like I can't relax-well no not relax…umm…I don't know how to explain it," whispers are blurted out, which actually makes Chloe smirk a little.
"I think I get what you mean, don't worry babe," Chloe interjects, pulling Beca's head onto her shoulder. "Do you feel up to going down? If not, we can stay here, but I really think you should eat something." Her hand has moved to Beca's back now, rubbing circles across it and Beca feels stupid for actually admitting that it's comforting.
"I think so, we're only watching a movie, right? Because I don't think I can deal with anything too crazy tonight," Chloe's nodding throughout and Beca physically can't love Chloe any more than she does in that moment.
"Don't worry, any crazy business I'll take responsibility of shutting down for you," Chloe's smirking and Beca just thinks it's simply beautiful.
"I need a hoodie before we go, I can't go down like this. Fat Amy is down there, Chloe, I don't want to die thanks," she's actually proud of herself for making it sound serious but thinking about it, Beca's not sure if she's acting. Because, sure no one would dare to say anything tonight, but Beca can guarantee she'll hear a million and one jokes about this stupid bandage around her head.
"Okay, hold on," Chloe walks away laughing. She knows it's true; somehow all of the jokes and 'banter' gets aimed at Beca.
Chloe soon walks back in with her own grey hoodie, which she was wearing last night-Beca's pretty sure that's why she picked that one. It's comforting to wear something Chloe has recently wore and Beca hadn't actually said that out loud but apparently Chloe knows, somehow.
Beca removes her own short sleeved top, throwing it across the room somewhere, and replacing it with Chloe's hoodie, leaving the hood over her head in an attempt to hide the bandage. Of course, a lot of it still showed, even with the drowning hoodie, but she lets Chloe loop their arms and lead her to the stairs regardless.
By the time they've reached the bottom, Chloe's wrapped herself around Beca's arm, holding her hand, and Beca just can't get the idea of Chloe being perfect out of her head. Because she 100% was.
"Food's here!" A chorus sounds from downstairs as someone runs towards the door, and Beca can't stop the eyeroll-it happened every week, like a routine.
Emily comes into view as they round the corner of the stairs, handing over the money and taking the bag from the delivery guy. She feels Chloe squeeze her hand as the brunette closes the door and faces them, half way down the stairs and smiles as they reach the bottom before making her way to the kitchen.
Chloe goes to follow, still wrapped around Beca's arm, but Beca stays put, pulling Chloe back to a standstill. "You'll be alright, I promise," Chloe whispers against the side of Beca's head where she's leaned in.
"She wouldn't even look at me Chlo," Beca whispers, slightly disappointed. She doesn't know why, but she expected things to be normal-for them not to treat her differently. But what happened, is happening, is disorientating for everyone, including her and Chloe. Which is why she feels as though she needs to give this whole movie night situation to Chloe, to just pretend like this isn't happening for an hour or two-three if she's lucky. And Beca honestly can't remember a time when she had wanted movie night this badly, to just cuddle up to Chloe, surrounded by the Bellas, carelessly watching some crap that Beca herself couldn't care less about. But that apparently won't happen.
"Becs, they just don't want to upset you, that's all. Come on, I won't leave you, I promise," Chloe squeezes her hand as she says it, lightly dragging her through the door. Beca can't help but think how sad it is that her girlfriend has to say that to her, just to get her into the room. But Beca finds it strange how she wants to be in there, she really does, but there's just that little something in the back of her mind that's making her second guess herself. And fucking hell she just wants it to just piss off.
But Chloe's still there, holding her hand and wrapped around her arm and that's giving her what she needs right now. They make their way through the vacant living room to the kitchen where all the Bellas are trying to find their food in the pile of takeaway boxes.
"Okay, this isn't working!" Stacie shouts from the emptier side of the table, seeming to take charge of the situation. Beca and Chloe just stand at the doorway, admiring how the usually playful brunette can take charge when the captains weren't around to do so. It was a kind of refreshing that neither could explain. "Okay, everyone form a line behind Jessica!" And then everyone's in a line and Stacie's handing out their food, never getting a persons order wrong. No one's noticed either of them at the doorway yet, taking the other door to the living area, but then the lines gone and Stacie's left looking at them.
"And there's the owners of number 24 and 13," Stacie smiles, piling the boxes up on one hand and handing them to Beca. Because, yes, Chloe's still wrapped around Beca like a koala.
"Thanks, Stace," Beca says, following the brunette into the room.
They've lived in this house so long that there's an actual seating arrangement now. It's not an official thing but everyone subconsciously just sits in their space-like a seating plan. When Aubrey had come to visit she had been so shocked, it almost confused her. Beca can remember how it amused Chloe to the point of laughter how she had no idea where to sit. Stacie had ended up pulling her to sit on her lap-but even that was after about 5 minutes of watching the blonde stand awkwardly.
So, Beca automatically guides them to the end of the corner couch, the end with the chaise lounge on-they were the captains after all. They were both surprised when the Bellas actually let them claim that seat as theirs, it was the best after all. And sure, it was a tad bigger than a one-person seat, but if anyone else, bar Ashley and Jessica, had claimed the seat, only one of them would fit. No one else really cuddled to the point of sitting on top of one another so Beca just tells herself that it's to save space.
Everyone's already in place when Chloe's pulling Beca onto the couch. Beca's legs end up bent diagonally over Chloe's, her back against the arm of the chair while Chloe's against the back cushion. Emily passes two forks to Chloe from beside them, like she always does now, and then Beca has one in hand as Chloe takes a box from her. It almost seems rehearsed.
But it's not.
Conversation flows easily through the room, like it always did, and Beca can clearly see that it's a lot calmer than it usually is-something she thinks is purposeful. Maybe Jessica or Emily told them what happened, what they had saw, and they had agreed as a group to keep it down for the night. And Beca feels this weird sense of pride in that moment, because she wasn't too sure if she could pull this whole captain thing off but here they all were, being the amazing people that Beca had tried to encourage. She knows though, that if it did get too rowdy, too nuts, Chloe would put her captain voice to good use and wouldn't bat an eyelash about it. Because that's what Chloe did.
The two stay silent-admittedly kinda in their only little world-as they start eating. Chloe's right hand's come up in-between Beca's knees and stroking her lower knee. Every now and then the other brings a fork full of food to the others mouth, and of course no one questions it-it was what they did. Beca can remember when they first started this whole Chinese thing, the first Friday when they had all eventually moved in, and after that it had just become a thing. Chinese night was Friday. And after a while, after the whole seating situation had been introduced, Chloe had asked to try Beca's order and then silently returned the favour. Now, all Beca had to do was nudge her and open her mouth and Chloe delivered the food. It had just always happened like that.
Beca can feel eyes on her every now and then-to be fair, she doesn't exactly look like her usual self. Her stomach had prevented her from eating anymore a while ago, her Chinese box abandoned against her bent legs, and her body leaning into Chloe, her head on her shoulder. Every now and then, Beca lets her eyes droop closed and Chloe place's a kiss on her forehead in between eating and call Beca cheesy or whatever, but she honestly doesn't want to be anywhere else. Okay, maybe that's a lie. Because Beca can think of a few other things she wants to do with Chloe right now, but she was content. Happy.
"You okay?" Chloe whispers against her head, red hair curtaining them off from any wondering eyes as Chloe's head bends to rest lips against the Brunettes head. She can tell Chloe's concerned and she probably should be but other than feeling slightly shaky and sick, Beca's okay.
"Yeah." Beca raises her head slightly, up off of her girlfriend's shoulder, to look at Chloe properly. "I'm okay," Beca matches Chloe's volume, keeping their heads close together to make up for the loss of volume.
And Beca can 100% tell that Chloe nowhere near believes her, at least not completely. But she doesn't say anything in that moment, something Beca's thankful for. They just simply look at each other, the side of their head's resting against the back cushion of the couch and the room noticeably pauses around them. All conversation stops. But it seems as soon as it stops, it quietly starts again, Amy making her way to the stairs to retrieve blankets 'so you skinny bitches don't freeze to death' or something similar, Beca doesn't really care.
Conversation flows up again, enough that no one would hear their whispers to one another if they dared to speak. Chloe's diverted her eyes to their hands, which had somehow found their way together, laying in Chloe's lap between her and Beca's bent legs. Beca spends a minute just looking at Chloe, her ginger hair flowing over one shoulder from where she had pulled it away to the other side of Beca, and her lips doing that weird twitching thing when she's not really paying attention to anything or deep in thought. Or both.
Beca leans forward slowly, placing her lips on her girlfriend's cheek, kissing lightly, and moving back just enough to whisper, "I love you." It all happened in slow motion, like every move was calculated beforehand. It wasn't. It's just that Beca was still a tiny bit drowsy and she really didn't want to think about fast movements right now. Like at all. But Chloe gets that.
Blue eyes turn to join Beca's, and Chloe leans forward ever so slightly to place a soft kiss on Beca's lips. "I love you too." Again, it's all a bit slower than usual. But then again, everything in their relationship happened slowly, it was how it went from the start. Whenever they were in bed at night, it would be slow, especially kisses, which were usually sleepily placed on shoulders and foreheads. Even their make outs were usually slow. Don't get Beca wrong, they had their desperate hook up as much as any other couple, that was to be expected, but usually it was slow paced and meaningful. Even doing new things happened slowly and when both were ready. They didn't rush. Like when they had slept together for the first time, both were unsure and nervous, so they had waited, and it ended up being 6 months into their relationship when they had eventually done the deed. They didn't rush for anything, they were patient with one another and understanding. The same applied to this situation.
That in contrast to the fast pace of living with the Bella's didn't always have the best outcome. Like right now.
Threes a loud bang…and another…and another…and another, until Amy's voice can be heard, "crushed it!" It sounds guilty and you can just tell that she rolled down the stairs on the blankets. Beca didn't need to look to know. But apparently everyone else did, bombarding out into hallway to check on Amy, laughing and screaming. Everyone but Chloe. Because Chloe had felt Beca visibly jump at the first sound of a rolling Amy and pulled her closer, kissed her forehead as everyone scrambled out to the hallway and now rubbed her knee with her thumb as the volume decreases and they're all heading to the kitchen for something. "You know, its supposed to be really cold tonight." Beca can't help but smirk at Chloe's suggestive tone. "I'm not quite sure what you're referring to Beale," Beca's just as playful in her reply. "It means," Chloe draws out the s, "that we can cuddle, silly." Beca just gives her a knowing smile, because, yes, they already did cuddle pretty much every night, before shuffling down to rest her cheek on the redhead's shoulder. Chloe starts to play with Beca's fingers in her lap while they wait on what is bound to be the movie choosing process in the kitchen.
They're both spread out, legs stretched out and intertwined, when the other girls return stating that they would be watching The Last Song, not that Beca's ever watched it. But apparently Chloe has, as she lets out an "awh, cute" before a blanket's thrown at them and she's spreading it over herself and Beca, making sure it covered as much as her girlfriend as possible. "Comfy?" she asks Beca once they're settled, Fat Amy trying to actually start the movie as it sits on the home screen. Beca only gently nods her head against Chloe's shoulder as she slips her fingers under the redhead's top and rests her finger across her hip. Chloe kisses her forehead at the action, rubbing her back lightly. She knew Beca wasn't feeling well; she wouldn't usually be this cuddly unless they were alone. But all that went out the window when she was feeling in any way negative. And all the Bella's knew it too.
As the movie started, the light chatter in the room automatically silences and someone, Chloe doesn't catch who, flicks the lights off.
They're half way through the movie when Beca shifts for the first time, only slightly, readjusting her leg on top of Chloe's. Chloe had Beca's hand, that had previously gravitated to her hip, in her lap with her own hand, fiddling with Beca's fingers and running her thumb in soothing circles. She didn't even realise she was doing it until Beca had moved. "Okay?" Chloe whispers to her. Just to check. Beca just tucks her head into Chloe so no one could see it. She was avoiding the question and Chloe honestly had no idea what to do. She had only ever heard of Beca like this, from Beca herself, never seen it. And it petrified her. She kept her eyes on the younger girl, running her hand slowly up and down her back, until Beca's head swerved to face the tv again, a little more sunken into Chloe this time.
From then on, Chloe's attention didn't leave Beca, glancing down at her every 5 minutes or so in between watching the movie. She didn't let go of Beca's hand, nor did she stop the patterns on her back. She knew if she did, Beca would just feel that fraction worse. Beca didn't usually show her pain-any type of pain-so when he did, she must be feeling pretty bad. And that killed Chloe a little. Chloe remembers when Beca had fell down the stairs of the house, quite literally rolled and bumped into every wall possible from top to bottom. Everyone obviously rushed to her, hearing it, and asked her if she was okay, some saying not to move her. It was crazy. But before anyone had actually done anything, Beca had got up, stating she was fine, went to the kitchen to grab her orange juice and returned to their room. Everyone watching on, mouths hung wide in amazement. Because Beca had taken a beating, and she's not exactly the biggest of them all either. Chloe ran after her, checking that she was actually okay and found the girl wrapping her ankle of their bed. She didn't cause a fuss, didn't ask for help to get upstairs. Nothing. And Chloe say the bruising that appeared that night. But that was Beca for you.
When the movie was over, it was quite late. Sure, it was early for a Friday night, about 10, but everyone was quite tired and a few of them weren't actually staying in the house tonight. If Chloe remembers right, Amy were going to Bumpers, Stacie was going to pick up Aubrey and bring her back to the house for the weekend, Lily would most likely disappear, and Cynthia Rose was actually going to catch a flight to Maine to visit her girlfriend. So, no, it definitely wasn't a regular Friday night for them.
Everyone kind of drifted off in their own directions after a few minutes, leaving Beca, Chloe, Ashley and Jessica left. The two couples. The other two were in their own little world, whispering and giggling to one another on the other couch, while Chloe just continued doing what she had been doing for the entirety of the movie. She let her eyes drift close and leant her head fully into the cushion behind her. Before she knows it, Chloe hears the door click close and opens her eyes to reveal the room empty. Beca shifts again, picking her head up to look at Chloe. "Wanna go up?" it comes out as a rasp from Chloe's shoulder. Ginger curls shuffle across her shoulders as Chloe shakes her head. "Can we just sit here for a bit longer?" So, Beca lowers herself down to rest on her chest again and they sit, the only movement being that of entangled fingers.
