CHAPTER TEN
LOOSEY LOVEGOOD
Harry awoke abruptly with Ron sitting on his face.
He flicked Ron's balls.
"I demand to go to King's Cross with a police escort," said Harry.
"You are Harry fucking Potter," said Hermione.
"Voldemort's going to try and me too me," said Harry.
"If only Arthur could have got us car service from the Ministry again," moaned Mrs. Weasley, "but Fudge wouldn't let him so much as hold his dick these days."
It took them twenty minutes to reach King's Cross by Uber.
They hurried onto the train.
"We have instructions from the Head Boy and Girl to patrol the corridors," Hermione said.
"I'd rather not, I'm not faggy," said Ron.
"I know you are," said Harry.
"Fucking homo," Ginny told him.
In the last carriage they met Neville Longbottom, the resident retard.
"Loosey Lovegood's in here —" said Ginny, who had peered into the compartment.
Neville mumbled something about being a bitch.
"She's the school slut," said Ginny.
She slid the door open.
The girl was a hot blond. She had big tits and a fat ass. Harry knew at once why Neville was a beta male.
"Who the hell are you?" Luna asked.
"You know," said Harry. "You all know exactly who I am. Say my name."
"Do what? I don't have a damn clue who the hell you are."
"Yeah, you do. I'm the Chosen One. I'm the boy who killed Lord Voldemort."
"Bullshit. Potter got Voldemort."
"Are you sure? That's right. Now, say my name."
"You're Harry Potter," said Luna.
"You're goddamn right," said Harry.
Luna turned upon Neville.
"And I don't know who the fuck you are."
"I'm Neville," said Neville.
"You're nobody," said Ginny.
Luna walked out on these sorry ass niggas.
"Guess what I got for my birthday?" said Neville.
"Some testosterone?" said Harry.
He pulled out a succulent.
"Get the fuck away from me," Harry said.
Fluid jizzed from the plant.
Harry received a facial.
Cho Chang was standing in the doorway.
"Oh … fuck," said Harry.
Cho closed the door. Harry was defeated. He was fucking lame.
Ron and Hermione turned up.
"We're supposed to give out punishments if people are being gay," Ron told Harry and Neville. "I can't wait to get you guys for something queer.…"
