Author's Note:
Hi all, long time no see. I apologize for the ridiculous wait for the next chapter. Honestly I didn't mean to leave such a cliff hanger. I most definitely had a case of the winter blues. In addition, I am having issues with my hand/arm. I am going back to PT soon. Also, I have been dealing with some family issues stuff that involve my brother and the courts and restraining orders. By the time it came to writing I just didn't have it in me. I'm going to try to update in a more timely fashion.
I still have a story with Bella and Carlisle I want to rewrite and edit. Please just bear with me.
Enough of this, please enjoy the next chapter and see you soon (hopefully!).
Thanks for understanding-
Lisa
Chapter Six
Bella laid on the couch. She wore Edward's sweatshirt and covered up with a blanket. The day went on and was so long. It was the first one she was by herself since she lost the second baby. Edward had promised to be home by lunch. At ten thirty that morning, Jessica called and said Edward's schedule was filled to the brim since he took an unexpected week off due to personal circumstances. She sent her best wishes and hoped they were okay. She said she would lend an ear if Bella needed to talk. Listening to Jessica pretending to be sympathetic added to Bella's already melancholy mood. She just wanted her husband home with her, however, she understood he had to go back to work. Jessica promised his last meeting was at three and he'd probably be home for dinner.
As she laid in the dark waiting for her husband, the clock on the cable box read 9:15pm. She sighed as she closed her eyes and cried. She didn't know what was happening in her marriage. Was it falling apart because of her? Although it was just a week ago their little girl's heart beat went unheard at the twenty-week ultrasound, she felt so empty and alone. Edward was with her at checkup. They had found out three weeks before that they were expecting a girl. Having miscarried before and having high blood pressure, her doctor felt she was high risk and wanted to check in with her at least once a month. There was no warning of the miscarriage. Bella craved pickled beets and only freshly squeezed orange juice. Her pants here starting to get snug on her tiny frame. The basic symptom of a miscarriage, bleeding hadn't been there like it had been with their first lost child. When the tech went to listen to the heart beat there was silence. Bella could hardly believe it was seven days ago.
At ten-thirty the front door opened. Edward set his keys in the bowl in the hallway. He hoped Bella was fast asleep. When he turned the corner, he saw her silhouette on the couch. He took off his shoes and walked over. He kissed her head before lifting her. He held her closely and protectively. He wished he could have been home with her. She was having a difficult time. He worried when she didn't return her texts and was thankful that Jessica called to check in on her and tell her he was going to be late.
As he climbed the last step, Bella stirred. Edward carefully placed her on their bed and tucked her in. He went into the bathroom and got himself ready for bed. After he finished in the bathroom, he saw Bella who appeared to still be sleeping. He climbed into bed and shut off the light. He wasn't tired. He had so many things running through his head. The new clients he met today and their old client who demanded Edward took their accident case. That was why he was late. He had to meet them about an hour away. Their son remained in the hospital from a horrible tractor trailer accident. As Edward mentally made a mental note about taking care of things around the house, he heard.
"You were late tonight," Bella whispered.
Edward turned over and faced his wife. "I'm sorry about that. It's been a long day." He paused as he tried to pull her close. She pushed away.
"It was so kind of Jessica to call to say you'd be home around dinner time," Bella mocked.
Edward was confused. "She did call to tell you I was going to be late. I also texted you, but you didn't answer back."
"She said your last appointment was around three and you'd be home for dinner. I don't even know what time it is Edward. It's late," Bella scolded him.
Edward began to explain. "I think you misunderstood her. I had to meet The Johnsons at five thirty in Castle Rock. Their son was driving home from college and was hit by a tractor trailer. The driver shouldn't have been driving as he had been driving for the maximum amount of time allowed by law, but he had pressure from his company to get something delivered by a certain time. It's a mess. Then there was an accident on the highway on the way home. I called you. It went straight to voicemail, so I thought maybe you turned off the phone."
Bella was quiet. She changed the subject. "I have to go back to work on Friday. I was expecting more time, but they need me back. I'm not ready. I guess it's better than being here lonely."
That comment was a direct blow to Edward. Bella begged him to stay home but he refused. He had to get back into work. His uncle seemed impatient since this was their second miscarriage. "Bella, you know I would have rather have been here than anywhere else."
"Are you carrying on with Jessica?"
Flabbergasted, Edward sat up and turned on the light. This wasn't a new topic of conversation. Whenever Edward worked late, the conversation somehow circled back to this. For whatever reason Bella wasn't confident when it came to Jessica. "No Bella. I'm not interested in Jess like that. I never have been and never will be. She isn't you. You have carried two of my children. I love you."
Bella sighed. "You worked late your first day back. Why didn't Alice take the case?'
"Because the Johnsons asked for me specifically. I helped them after Mr. Johnson's mother fell at the nursing home. They said they could trust me and liked me. I couldn't say no. I had to be there," Edward explained. "How were you today?"
She shrugged her shoulders and finally rolled over. "I was fine. I think I am coming to terms that we aren't meant to be parents. I don't think I can do this again. Emotionally. Less than two weeks ago she was growing in me Edward and now she's gone. This is the second time this has happened. I can't go through it again. It hurts too much."
Edward reached for his wife and held her sobbing body in his arms. When they had the first miscarriage Bella was a mess but was able to come out of it quickly. This time she was sad and depressed. It had been only a week, but she was heartbroken. Edward was as well. He too was nervous to try for a child in the future. If Bella couldn't carry a child to term it would crush her.
"I don't want us to become one of those couples who tip toes around each other. I want us to be able to be honest. I hate you working these late nights. I really do. I know it's the first one in a while, but I know there are more to come," Bella honestly told her husband.
Bella finally allowed Edward to pull her into his arms. "Bells, you work late too, and you have your nights when you go out with the girls. It's not often but you still go. You still have to work late when I'm here. It's the nature of our jobs." Edward paused before he continued. "I think when you are ready we should go away for a weekend. A long one. Just you and me and we need to recharge and reconnect. Also, I don't think we will ever be one of those couples who tip toe around each other because we are always honest with each other and always communicate with each other."
Taking a deep breath, Bella knew her husband was right. "I know but this feels awkward. I hate it."
"It will but as soon as we are back in a routine we'll get back to where we were. We always do. Hey," Edward said as he turned to face her. He kissed her lips softly. "Three thousand miles couldn't keep us apart when we were in college. We'll get over this. We are still mourning her. We will recover and be okay. You'll see. We'll look back on this time and we will be able to say we made it through with battle scares and all. This is as bad as it gets for us Bells."
Edward shook his head. To say he was shocked was an understatement. "Wait a minute! You know them?"
Bella was startled by Edward's tone. She spoke back with slight anger in her tone. "Of course, I'd know my own father and brother."
Both Charlie and Jasper exchanged looks with Edward and Bella. Charlie spoke up first. He approached her bed and held her hand. "Honey, what is going on?"
Sitting up straight in the bed, Bella began to speak in a questioning tone. "Apparently my husband says I was in an accident five weeks ago, but I don't remember any of that. Dad, is this for real? I mean am I really married? Was I in a car accident? My head hurts and I feel very foggy and I don't remember anything."
Charlie looked at Edward's expression. Anger, confusion and sadness could be read on his face. He looked like a ghost who was going to break down and cry. Charlie swallowed as he began to answer his daughter's question. "Yes honey, you were in a car accident and yes you are married. Edward was telling you the truth." Charlie paused before he too started crying. He brought a hand up to his daughter's face and rubbed her chin with his thumb. He did the same thing when she fell as a child or cried as a teenager. "We were all worried that you wouldn't wake up Bells. You're in Seattle and Jasper and I have been staying at your house. Edward has been staying with you here at the hospital. Se-"
"Wait! We are in Seattle and I'm really married?" Bella questioned. She couldn't believe it.
Charlie couldn't help but smile. "I gave you away myself honey. The wedding was beautiful or too big as you told me. You and Edward wanted something smaller. You two threatened to elope. Esme had a field day with that. I thought she was going to kill you both. She probably would have disowned you both if you did that!"
Confused, Bella looked at her father. "Esme? Is she my mom?" Before anyone in the room could reply, Bella looked at Jasper. "I thought mom died?"
"She's Edward's mom," Jasper explained.
Stepping up, Edward looked at Bella. He spoke calmly and softly. "She's my mom. She has kind of taken you under her wing and loved you ever since you moved next door to us when we were children. She's kind of been like your second mom."
Bella raised an eye brow. She looked at Edward. "She's married to my doctor?"
Edward nodded. "Yes she and Carlisle have been married for thirty-eight years."
Bella went back and looked at her father. "And Sue? What happened to her?"
"Nothing happened to Sue," Jasper interjected. "She's our step mother. She and dad got married when you were six. It was before we moved to Forks. Sue's been visiting you with Emily. Right now they are helping cook food for all of us. You'll see them soon. They have both been worried about you."
Fumbling with her blanket a little bit, Bella looked down as she asked, "Who is Emily?"
Taken back, Jasper held his little sister's hand. He wasn't prepared for her memory to be in pieces . "Emily is our sister, half sister I guess, but we don't look at her like that. Sue had her a few years after she and dad were married."
"Dad you are too old to have a baby. How old is she?"
"Twenty two," Charlie answered.
"Oh," Bella sad looking away. She felt like she was a prisoner in her own body. She didn't know what was happening around her and she hated it. She looked up as she saw Edward storm out of the room. He looked like he was going to be sick. Bella looked up with concern in her eyes. "Was it something I said?"
"No honey, don't worry about it. Edward has just been a little stressed. I'm sure he'll come back," Charlie explained. He held Bella's hand and offered a kind smile.
Letting frustration take her over, Bella finally allowed herself the opportunity to cry. She placed her head in her hands and began to sob. It was only a few seconds later when the door open.
"Hey! You're awake! It's great to have you back with us in the land of the living!" Emmett said as he let go of Rose's hand and went to hug Bella. "As soon as dad told us you were awake we rushed in here! You scared everyone Bells!"
"You're our neighbor, right? You and Jasper are friends." Bella asked cautiously as she looked from Emmett to Jasper. "Why are you here?"
"Wow! What kind of shit do they have you on? I might need some of that the next time Rosie and I get into an argument." When Emmett saw no change in expression on Bella's face he looked around. "Neighbor? What's with the not so funny? What's all of this?" Emmett asked pointing to Bella.
Jasper took a deep breath and began to speak. "Bella just woke up a little while ago. We haven't talked to your dad yet, but it seems that she doesn't recall a lot of things. Her memory seems choppy, at best. She remembers somethings but not other things like Edward and your family apparently."
Emmett shook his head. He was unsure of what to say. The woman lying in the bed in front of him had always been like a sister to him. He always had felt protective of her. "For real Jazz?" Emmett waited for Jasper to confirm before he shook his head. "Oh shit.i mean shoot. I mean I'm sorry. I'm sorry Bells. I-I had no idea. I thought you were just being silly."
Again Bella just shrugged her shoulders. "No silliness here. Nothing to be sorry about really." She paused to wipe the fresh set of tears that had escaped her eyes. "Don't you have a brother? Younger I think. Anthony is his name, right?"
In a hushed tone, Emmett answered. "No, that's his middle name. My brother's name is Edward."
"Edward? Isn't that my husband's name?" Bella asked confused as she looked at Charlie and Jasper.
"Yes," was the only reply Emmett could give. He had no how idea where his brother was or how he was feeling with this development in Bella. He wanted to talk to him.
"Bella, Emmett is Edward's brother. His parents are Esme and Carlisle."
Offering a faint smile, Bella looked up. "What a small world, right?" She changed her focus on the blond woman standing in front of her. She shook her head and spoke with a small smile on her face. "Hi, I'm Bella, which you probably already knew."
Rose was taken back. She fought to keep he mouth from dragging on the floor. Not only was Bella one of her best friends, but she was her cousin. Rose reflected on the memories of their childhood. She also thought about how beautiful Bella looked when she was her matron of honor two summers ago when she married Emmett. It was because of her and Edward Rose got together with Emmett. She swallowed but put on a smile as she looked at Bella. "I'm Rose. Emmett is my husband and you, Jasper and I are cousins. My mom was Elizabeth, your dad's sister."
"Right, I'm sorry." Bella said sadly. She turned her focus to her baby in the carrier. He was awake and just smiling. "Your baby is adorable. He is a perfect looking baby. How old is he?"
Emmett and Rose exchanged looks. They were in shock. Rose stepped back and stood with Jasper. They held hands. Jasper turned his head on Rose's shoulder and tried not to cry. Rose was a tough woman and tried not to cry. She then looked at her Uncle Charlie who was also lost for words. She held his hand too. Emmett finally spoke up. "He actually isn't ours Bells. He's yours."
"What? I have a baby?" Bella questioned feeling shocked. "I'm married and have a child?
Emmett nodded. "Yes, he's a boy. This is Seth." Emmett set the carrier down on the chair and unbuckled the infant from his seat. Seth was smiling, and his eyes met his mother's as his uncle began talking. "He is five months old. He is doing extremely well eating his food. My mom has been making sure of that. He loves bananas. Would you like to hold him?"
Bella nodded. She was speechless as Emmett handed the infant to his mother. Immediately, Seth found comfort in Bella. He rested his head in the crock of her neck. He laid there and seemed perfectly content. "He's really mine?" Bella asked through the tears.
Emmett nodded as he smiled. "Yes. You and Edward waited a long time for him. You went through a lot to have him. You really wanted him."
"And who wouldn't? Look how adorable he is. He's so small," Bella said finally with a true smile on her face.
"He's a lot bigger compared to when he was born. You delivered him a little on the early side, but he is healthy," Emmett explained.
Tears once again formed. "He's really mine? I mean, I'm a mom?"
Emmett couldn't help but smile. "Yea, yea he is. And Edward too. Well, Edward isn't a mother but you two are this little guy's parents. You are the greatest mom Bella. My mom has been taking care of him for the most part while Edward stayed here with you. Rose and I have been helping mom as well."
"What's his name again?" Bella whispered. She felt ridiculous that she couldn't remember her own son's name.
"It's Seth. You named him after your baby brother who died," Emmett added.
Bella regained the confused expression. "I had a brother who died?"
Charlie cleared his throat and continued. "Yes. Sue had a baby after Emily. You were twelve. He died in the delivery room. His name would have been Seth."
"It was Edward's idea to name him after the baby," Emmett added.
Bella took Seth from her neck and stared at him. She burst into tears again. Jasper let go of Rose's hand and walked to the side of Bella's bed. He began to rub her back slowly. "Bella, I know this is hard on you. I can't imagine what you are feeling but we will get through this somehow. I promise. You will be all right. We will move pass this."
"I hate not knowing anything about anything! I hate this confused feeling," Bella explained as she held her sleeping son close.
Charlie squeezed Bella's shoulders. He too had tears in his eyes. "I know honey. I know."
Before Bella could say another word, the doors opened. In walked a doctor. Bella assumed this was her father in law.
"Hi Bella, how are you doing?" He asked with a bright smile.
"Hi -what do I call you? Edward mentioned we're married-I mean Edward and I are married. You and I aren't married. Edward called you by your first name. I know you're Edward's dad. Edward told me but- and it's just, I don't really know what to call you. I don't remember."
Carlisle offered a comforting smile. He rubbed his sleeping grandson's back as he began to speak. "It's all right Bella, I know what you mean. You call me dad."
Bella nodded sternly and looked at the doctor. "Okay dad, what's going on with me?"
"Well your vitals are good, excellent if I say so myself. Physically you are in incredible shape for everything you have gone through. Your body healed nicely. I think the physical therapy helped you a lot. I'm glad we did it. Maybe later tonight or tomorrow we can get you up and walk a little bit."
"Right, I'm in excellent shape if you ignore that I have no idea what is going on and my memory is shot, and I don't recognize my family," Bella sarcastically added.
"I wouldn't say that. You remembered your dad and brother from what I hear."
"She kind of remembered me too. She remembered me as her neighbor. She also remembered that I had a brother. She thought his name was Anthony and not Edward."
"Really?" Carlisle asked. He watched as his older son nodded his head. "That's something." He didn't know what to make of that piece of information. He paused again as Bella situated the baby in her arms. Carlisle began to run Seth's back again. "He's precious, isn't he?"
"He is." Bella paused before looking up at Carlisle. "Do I like kids? I mean am I good mother? Am I doing it right? Was I doing it right before the accident?"
Rose stood in front of Bella's be and spoke before anyone else had the chance to. She knew that this was just explained to Bella, but she wanted to reiterate it. "You are the best Bella. You and Edward had a hard time having a baby. You had a few miscarriages and you just about gave up becoming a mother. When you found out you were going to have Seth you quit your job to rest. You did everything by the book during your pregnancy. You measured everything and never indulged." Rose paused as she reflected on Bella being pregnant and laughed. "It actually drove Edward a little batty that you wouldn't eat junk food occasionally or eat the stereotypical foods that women crave when they are pregnant. You ate so many strawberries and watermelon. If you indulged in anything you would make a frozen yogurt made it out of bananas and was convinced it tasted like the real thing. It really didn't! You went through the pain of natural childbirth because you didn't want any drugs in your system to enter his. When you went home Seth slept with you because you were afraid you wouldn't hear him cry. You breast fed him because that was what is best for him. Edward was a huge help too. He took time off from work and stayed home with you for almost two months."
"Wow," was all that Bella could manage to say. "How did Edward get so much time off? That seems like a long time."
Carlisle chuckled. "My brother was his boss. It can happen when you are working for one of the most sought-after law firms in all of Seattle."
"Who aren't we related to?" Bella asked as the room chuckled.
Quietly, Edward slipped into the room. He walked with his hands in his pockets and stood by his father. His eyes were fixated on Bella holding their sleeping son. Carlisle patted Edward's back. All Edward wanted at that moment was to be alone with his wife. He wanted to hold her hand and tell her things were going to be okay.
Startled by Edward standing at her side, Bella smiled shyly at him.
Carlisle cleared his throat and looked around. "Bella seems to have had enough excitement for right now. Visiting hours are almost over, plus I think she should rest some."
With that everyone said their goodbyes. Bella kissed her son's head before handing him off to Edward, who did the same thing before placing him in the car seat and buckling him up. Everyone made the promise of coming back later to check on her.
"I'm just going to walk them out; I'll be back in a little bit, okay?" Edward asked as he kissed Bella's head.
"O-okay," Bella replied.
Bella's mind went into a tail spin. She didn't know half of the people in that room who came to visit her. She couldn't get over that she was a mother. Overwhelmed didn't even start to explain how she felt. On the plus side, the people she couldn't identify seemed to be nice and caring. She sipped her water and leaned back on her pillows. Nothing made sense to her.
As promised a few moments later, Edward walked back into the room. Bella looked to be sleeping. That gave Edward time to gather his pajamas and get ready for bed. He came out and began making the chair up as if it were his bed. Bella looked over at him and watched him before saying a word.
"So that is my-our family?" She finally asked softly.
Edward nodded. "Yes. Sometimes they are all a little crazy and a lot to take in, but they are ours. They are good people. They love us, and we love them. Speaking of family, my mom called. She was stuck in traffic in a meeting and couldn't make it before visiting hours ended. She did tell me to tell you that she loves you. She is happy you are awake. She will be here some time tomorrow to see you."
"Thanks. That's sweet. I guess I'll have a room full of people again tomorrow. I think it's good to know that so many people care. I just wish I knew who they were." She paused as she watched Edward pull the chair next to the bed. She looked at him curiously. "So, are you going home tonight too?"
Edward was shocked. He had been at Bella's side every day for the last five weeks. He never left the hospital. "I was planning on staying here, with you. This is where I've been since you were admitted. There isn't anywhere else I would want to be." Edward paused. He struggled to ask the next question. "Do-do you want me to go?"
Tears erupted from Bella's eyes again. "I don't know. I don't know anything! We've known each other for so long yet I don't remember a single thing about you."
Edward stood up at her bedside. He tried rubbing her back to soothe her. He placed a lingering kiss on top of her head before looking into Bella's eyes. "You must be so scared now. I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I hate that you are going through this. You are so brave Isabella, so incredibly brave and don't forget that. Don't forget that I love you with all my heart and everything I am. We're going to get through this together Isabella." He paused as he wiped her tears away from her eyes. He places a sweet kiss on her forehead. He was dreading the next question. It made a pit in his stomach. "Do you want me to stay?"
Bella fiddled with the blanket for a moment. She avoided eye contact with Edward. "I think it would be best if I had some time alone for a while so no, I don't want you to stay."
Moving slowly, Edward nodded. He didn't remove his hand from his wife's cheeks. He had already made up his mind that he wasn't leaving the hospital. He was going to crash in his father's office. He had promised Bella that he wouldn't leave the hospital without her and he intended on keeping that promise. "Okay. I understand. I'll see you in the morning, okay?"
"Yes."
"Okay," he said not wanting to stop touching Bella. He finally did. He placed a kiss on her cheek. "Get some rest beautiful. I love you and will see you later." He began to walk out but stalled. He turned around and walked back to her. "One more thing. If you don't need this its fine but I want to leave my number for my cell for you. If you are scared or need anything call me. I have no problem being here for you. I'm just going to sleep in my dad's office. I'm not leaving you Bella. I'm always going to be here for you. Even if you never remember me again, I will be here for you."
Bella nodded. She watched as he wrote down his number and leave it on her tray near the phone. She felt sadness as she watched him gather his pillow and a blanket. He looked back one more time and then slid out of the room. From the other side of the door, Bella heard his muffled cries. She turned over and squeezed the blanket in her hand. She too had tears seep from her eyes.
