Author's Note:

Hi-

Thank you to everyone who read and left comments. I appreciate it! I am feeling a little bit better. Still really itchy and really tired. Good news, my arthritis isn't horrible according to x rays and my liver count is back to normal. Still waiting on some of the tests to come back. I'm still itchy and had to stop taking the steroid cream/gel because my hands were bleeding they were so dry and cracked. Good news for Cetaphil, I'm buy stock in their company! I am waiting on more test results. Some won't be back for over two weeks because they have to go to a lab in Boston to be tested and read. I'm still super itchy and uncomfortable. We shall see what happens. Thanks for the well wishes, I appreciate it.

Okay, back to our story. This chapter will make some of you angry. Keep your faith with Edward. He isn't a bad guy. He's a little all over the place and a little lost.

I'm not going to lie. The next chapter won't be out as quickly. This chapter was half done with I wrote the last chapter. I'll do my best but please don't think I'm giving up on this story because I'm not!

Lastly, if you are down in the south in the Carolinas or anywhere else the impact of the hurricane might hit, please be safe. My thoughts are with you.

-Lisa


Chapter Nine

"Edward, he's okay! Can you hear him?" Bella cried as the nurse took her son to check his health. She had just delivered their son. It was quick and she heard the newborn screaming which made her smile. He was seemed healthy.

Kissing his wife's head, Edward smiled. "I think everyone between here and Canada can hear the lungs on him. You did good baby. You did it! You kept him safe and took care of him for nine months. He's here because of you. I love you so much Bells!"

Bella cried. Tears of happiness fell for her son. Tears of sadness for the children she had lost. Tears of tiredness. She was just emotional. Her emotional journey with trying to carry to full term ended successfully, finally. Exhaustion soon took over.

"You can't rest now mom, someone wants to meet you," the nurse said as she rested the baby on Bella's chest. "He's a doll. Very handsome. You did a good job mom. Congrats to you and to you too dad."

Edward put a hand on his son's back. He too soon had tears in his eyes but excitement in his heart. "He's beautiful, isn't he? Bella, we made him! He's alive because of us! Look at how tiny he is! Hey buddy I'm your daddy and this amazing, beautiful, generous woman is your mom. You don't know how lucky you are to have her as your mom. She loves you so much. I love you so much. We've loved you since before we made you. Oh buddy, we are so, so happy that you are here. You have no clue how much we wanted to have you. Happy doesn't even start to explain how thankful we are."

Bella placed her free hand on Edwards and leaned up to peak his lips. "He's perfect Edward. Absolutely perfect." Bella paused and stared at her son who was fast asleep on her stomach. "Are you sure about his name?"

Nodding his head, Edward beamed at his son. They had discussed names back and forth for months. They decided they wanted the name to mean something. Together they had chosen to honor Bella's brother who died at birth. When they were discussing names, Edward had suggested that. His middle name came as a traditional name that every male for four generations had on Edward's side of the family. He hated the idea; however, Bella loved the idea of something being passed on from one generation to the next. "Yes. Seth Anthony it's nice to finally meet and welcome to our family. Everyone can't wait to meet you."

Soon Bella, Edward and their new son were escorted up to a post-partum suite. Edward called their families as the nurse helped Bella clean up. They were all surprised that the baby made his appearance a little premature. Both the Cullen's and the Swan's promised to visit in the morning. In a way they were thankful the baby had arrived early. He was supposed to be born in Seattle since Bella had a high-risk pregnancy. There was no time to get to Seattle, so he was born in Port Angeles. They would also learn his name tomorrow.

The nurses offered to take the baby for the evening while Bella and Edward got rest. Both parents rejected the idea. They finally had a child and they wanted him with them. Before they were ready for bed, a nurse came in to show Bella how to feed Seth. At first, he didn't seem crazy about the idea. Soon he latched and drank from his mother. It was so naturally easy for both mother and child. After his first feeding, Edward set an alarm on his phone to feed the infant again. Bella moved in close to the chair that made into a bed which Edward was going to sleep on. She watched as Edward placed the infant in the crib. He quickly got into bed and grabbed Bella's hand and kissed it. "This feels like a dream," he told his wife as he still held her hand.

"I can't explain how I feel. I know I should be exhausted and tired and I know I need to sleep, but I just want to watch him and make sure he is real. Edward, our baby is healthy, and we will make him happy. I think I got my second wind. I'm too excited to sleep. I feel like it is Christmas Eve," Bella beamed before a little yawn escaped her mouth.

Edward laughed. "Not tired? You could have fooled me!" He kissed the back of Bella's hand once more and looked up at her. "We need to get rest, I mean we aren't going to rest for the next eighteen years. My as well get used to it now. Isabella, I can't even begin to tell you how much I love you and appreciate all of your hard work. You carried him for nine months. You took care of yourself and did everything by the book and your doctor. Even in the delivery room you were like a champ. The doctor and nurses were all surprised how quickly you progressed with the birth. You are a super hero, no you are a rockstar. No, you are my hero. I know you were scared to love Seth when you found out you were pregnant because you expected him not to develop. You never showed it at all. You just did what you had to do and you did it like a champ."

Bella smiled. "You knew I was scared? I never told you that."

"There is so little that I don't know about you Bells. Sometimes I feel like I know you better than I know myself."

"I love you so much Edward."

"I love you too Bells." They laid in silence and in the dark for just a few brief seconds before Edward spoke up again. "Hey Bella?"

"Yes."

"Do you remember the delivery well?"

"I do. Why are you asking?"

"Well, it's just that you said something in there and I didn't know if you meant them."

"I did? Like what?"

"Well, you said and I quote, 'if you think you are ever going to have sex with me again you are insane.' Did you mean it?"

Bella burst out laughing. "Oh yes. We are done, at least for a while. I am so appreciative of having Seth here but the thought of going through it again so soon scares me. So sorry honey."

"I can appreciate that. Can I still keep my balls?" Edward asked seriously.

Not being able to contain her laughter, Bella sat up. "What?"

"Well, you threatened to take those."

"Oh Edward! You silly, silly man. I love every inch of you. I'm not going to change you at all. I don't want them. You are better off having them."

Edward sat up and leaned over and kissed his wife. "You do know what is mine is yours. If you ever change your mind about that sex thing I can share."

"I'll remember that." Bella paused for a moment and looked at Edward. "I don't remember threatening your balls. I'm sorry if I was over emotional in the delivery room."

"Oh Bella, don't apologize. You did all of the work today. You deserve to make what I hope are empty threats," Edward explained. He looked up and noticed Bella was fast asleep. He once again kissed her hand and squeezed it. "I love you so much. You and now Seth are my world. I love you both more than anything else in the world."

After being released from the hospital, Bella returned to her childhood home in the sleepy town of Forks Washington. She remembered some things from her life before the accident. Once she arrived home, she recalled her room being a lilac color at one time. She even told her father and step mother the former room arrangement and the color of her bedding. Long vacant after Bella left for college, the room had been turned into a guest room and had gold and beige tones in it.

Bella spent a lot of time with her younger sister Emily. It was lucky that Bella was recovering during the summer. Emily, who was a teacher, had the summer off as they got reacquainted. Emily introduced Bella to Sam, her fiancé and a good friend of the family. Sam and his brother Jacob were the sons of Charlie's best friend and fire chief Billy. The boys had grown up with his girls. Emily and Sam's romance was much like Bella and Edward's. They had grown up together and were each other's first loves. Jacob had always been a good friend to Bella. Edward admitted several times that he didn't like him. Edward told his wife that Jacob just wanted to get into her pants. Bella used to tease Edward that he was just jealous. Edward of course denied this countless times through the years and never gave Bella a concrete reason why he disliked Jacob.

The second week of Bella being home Jasper had to go back to his job in Seattle. He knew that she was being left in the good hands of their family members, but he wanted to help her. Emily promised to keep Jasper updated on Bella's improvements throughout the week.

"I feel stupid. Like you're using flash cards people I should know," Bella said as she sat cross legged on the couch looking at Emily go through a stack of pictures.

"It's only temporary. Bells, you're going to get your memory back. You've done amazing so far." Emily paused as she looked at a picture of their father with his first love. They were in college. She slowly turned it around and looked at Bella. "Do you know who this is?"

Bella took the photo and stared at it. She shook her head. "That's Renee, right? My mother?"

"Yes it is. Good job. Do you, well, do you know where she is?"

Sadly, Bella smiled. "She died after I was born. I never met her. Mom, our mom is the only one I know."

"You're right Bells," Emily praised her as the door bell rang. "I don't know who that could be. I'll be right back."

Bella heard Emily laugh and Edward's voice. She slowly walked him into the room. Bella politely smiled at him. "Hi Edward. Where is Seth?"

"Hi Bella," he said sitting across from her. "Mom took him food shopping so I thought I'd come over to see you. How are you?" It broke Edward's heart that his lover still didn't know who he was. Sometimes she would remember events but he was erased from her memory. He was waiting for her to come back to him. He didn't care how long it would take, he just wanted her back.

"Things are good. I'm remembering more."

Edward reached for Bella's hand and smiled. "That's excellent. I'm very proud of you."

Bashfully smiling, Bella looked at him. "Thank you."

They continued to chat about nothing when the door bell rang again. Emily walked back into the room with Jacob.

"Hey chica! How are you today?" Jacob asked picking up and hugging Bella. Jacob was a police officer, like Charlie. Sam had pressured him to join the fire department like he and their father. Jacob chose the law enforcement field. Bella had remembered Jacob when she saw him. This added fuel to Edward's fire.

"You're looking good Jake. Nice outfit," Bella laughed.

"Make fun all you want to. I had a few minutes before my shift and I thought I'd visit you, you smart ass!" Jacob turned and looked at Edward. Jacob liked and respected Edward. He had no idea about Edward's insecurities with his relationship with Bella. "Hey man, how are you doing?" He asked as he extended his hand for Edward.

"Good, thank you Jacob," Edward politely replied and shook Jacob's hand

. "You?"

"I can't complain. So how is our patient doing?" Jacob asked returning his attention to the woman who was like a sister to him.

"She's doing great," Emily began. "She is remembering more."

"That's awesome B, good for you. It'll all come back, you'll see."

"I hope so. I'm remembering things more and more but there is so much I still don't remember. I hate it," Bella said frustrated.

Jacob walked in front of her and bent down on his knees. "Hey, calm down. Things are going to be okay. Things won't go back to normal today or tomorrow but someday they will and you will look back at this time and know that you are strong and can survive anything."

With tears in her eyes, Bella nodded and leaned into Jacob for a hug. He held her tight as if she needed protection. Edward glanced up at Emily, who knew he didn't care for Jacob. Emily patted Edward's arm sympathetically.

Jacob pulled himself away from Bella and placed his fingers under her chin. "I have to get going before your father yells at me for being late, but I have the day off in two days. Maybe I will come over and hang out with you."

"I'd like that, thank you Jake."

Jacob kissed Bella's check and Edward looked away. It killed him that his wife was so openly affectionate with Jacob and still did not remember him.

Emily walked Jacob to the door as Bella looked at Edward. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Edward tried to smile. He tried to hide his emotion. He didn't want to upset Bella.

Bella looked at Edward curiously. "You don't like him, do you?"

"What? Why would you say that?"

"Because you were uncomfortable around him and cringed a little bit. Why don't you like him?"

Edward took a deep breath. Even without her memory Edward didn't think he could fool Bella. "It's not that I don't like him. It's just that, well, it's just frustrating Bella, that's all."

Softly, Bella spoke. "I'm sorry."

"Sweetheart," Edward began as he walked over to Bella. Just as Jacob had done before he knelt in front of her. He grabbed her hands and kissed both of them. "This isn't your fault. Jacob has always frustrated me. I've never been a big fan of his. Okay?"

Bella nodded. "You have been so sweet to me. So kind and loving. I'm sorry I don't-"

"Don't you dare finish that statement. We're going to be fine. I know you'd do the same thing for me, if not more if the situation were reversed. We took a vow that stated in sickness and in health. Right now I need to help you to get better."

Bella smiled as the tears stopped leaving her eyes. "I think I have to add amazing to that list. I'm lucky we were so happy together."

"There, I love that right there," Edward said looking at her. He let go of one of her hands and cupped her face.

"What are you talking about?"

"That smile. Your smile makes me happy," he leaned forward and kissed her head. She wasn't comfortable with kissing him due to the fact she didn't remember him. "I know you'll come back to me Bella, I just know it."

"I wanted to go out for a little bit," Edward told his mother was he walked down the stairs. He was staying with his parents so he too could help with Bella's recovery efforts. He wanted Bella to take care of herself and get better. He didn't want her to be stressed out. He didn't want to go home without Bella. "Seth is sleeping in my room. The monitor is on. Would you mind watching him for a few hours?"

Esme worried about her son. He put on a good show but she knew he was hurting.

"Where are you going?"

"I just want to go out by myself and do something. I won't be out late."

"Okay. Edward, I love you honey."

"Thanks mom, I love you too."

Edward got into his car and drove around. He didn't have a particular location in his head but he didn't want to sit around the house either. He wanted to get away from his life at the moment. He decided to stop at a little bar. He parked his car and went in.

He sat at the bar and ordered a whisky and a beer. Two drinks turned into three, which then turned into just a whiskey. He was having a pity party for himself. Edward was nursing his beverage when he looked up. He saw a girl from high school. Kate was friend with Jessica. Edward remembered seeing a picture of them on Jessica's desk at work.

"I'll have a Captain and diet Coke please. Oh hi Edward, how is it going?" Kate asked with a grin.

Edward shrugged his shoulders. "It's going Kate. How are you?"

"I'm good. Are you here alone?"

"Yep. I'm having a little me time tonight. The baby is asleep and I'm here."

"How is Bella doing? Jess told me all about the accident. I'm sorry."

"Bella is great. Doing awesome thank you," Edward sarcastically laughed.

Kate reached out to pay for her drink when Edward stopped her. He looked at the bartender. "I'll pay for it. Can I have another whiskey please?" He saw Kate smile at him and he looked at her. "What?"

"Well, you didn't sound so convincing Edward. Something is wrong with Bella?"

Edward, who had a pretty good buzz going knew that Kate was trying to get information for Jessica and he didn't want to get into much detail. Jessica was the one who caused the situation and she didn't deserve any details. "Bella is just having a hard tell remembering things. She has some memory loss."

The bartender came over and placed the drinks in front of Edward and Kate. "Thank you for the drink. I'm sorry Edward. This must be so difficult for you."

Edward and Kate continued to talk for another hour. Edward shared more details about Bella's situation as well as his frustration. He wasn't sharing any incriminating information, just the basics. Even with a buzz he knew not to give too many details. Kate was always very friendly and nice to him however he knew whatever he said was going to go back to Jessica. He didn't want to risk her trying to coming back into his life.

As predicted, Kate played the part of supportive friend. She became very flirty with Edward. She reached for him and patted his knee. She rubbed his hands. She sat too close to him. It was something Edward would normally push away but it had been a long time since Bella showed him any affection. It felt nice to be close to another woman.

Kate placed an arm around Edward's neck and made him chuckle with whatever she had said. Edward politely smiled and pushed himself away. He knew it was wrong to be this close to another woman. He went to speak when someone came over to the table.

"Edward, hey man. It's nice to see you and your, friend?" Jacob asked as he sat across from Edward.

The last thing that Edward wanted to do was put up fucking Jacob Black. "Hi. This is Kate. Bella and I went to high school with her. We're old friends."

Jacob nodded. "Hi Kate, I'm Jacob."

"Hi," Kate politely said as she shook Jacob's hand. She felt uncomfortable and felt tension between the two men. "You know Edward, it was really great to catch up. I hope to see you again."

Don't hold your breath. "Yea, it was good to see you too. Take care."

Kate smiled and walked out of the bar without another word. Jacob looked at Edward and didn't say a word at first. Edward looked away from him. Jacob leaned into the table and looked at Edward. "What the hell are you thinking?"

"What?"

"What is going on in your head? You have a wife and you are sitting here all nice and cozy with the town's slut? I thought you were better than that."

Edward started laughing. "We weren't cozy."

"Are you drunk?" Jacob asked as he sat at the table with Edward.

Shrugging his shoulders, Edward answered. "Maybe?" Edward snapped back. "What's it to you anyway?"

Jacob shook his head. "Look, I know you have never liked me and that's fine. I think you are a decent guy who has treated my best friend as a princess. I know you love Bella. I can't even begin to fathom what you are experiencing now."

Again, Edward laughed disgustedly. "You're right. You have no idea what it is like for the person who you love more than anything else in the world have no fucking idea who you or your child are. I go, I sit with her, we laugh. She gets nervous and fidgety around me and has no clue who I am. She has no fucking clue! " Edward paused as he looked at Jacob. "I am going to get going. See you around," Edward went to stand up and tripped over his own feet. Jacob shook his head.

"I can't let you drive home," Jacob told him.

"Fuck you. I'm going home," Edward replied.

"Edward, don't make me pull the cop card because I will do it. I will have you arrested for driving under the influence if you start your car. You could kill yourself or someone else. You can pick up your car tomorrow morning. Your family is already under so much stress. I can't add to it."

Edward rolled his eyes as he stumbled. "Fine. I guess I'll be walking home."

"I can give you a ride. Do you hate me so much that you can't sit in my car for less than twenty minutes?"

Edward sighed. He felt defeated. "No I guess not, thank you."

Jacob helped Edward out to his car. Edward sat and looked out the window.

"So can I ask you a question?"

"Sure Officer Black," Edward responded sarcastically.

Smiling, Jacob looked at Edward before he started his car. "Why is it that you hate me so much? I have respect for you and think you are pretty likable. I don't understand why you never liked me."

"It's simple Black, I don't like your relationship with my wife. For years you've been trying to get into her pants. You don't respect me."

"You think I want Bella?" Jacob watched as Edward nodded his head. "Seriously?"

"Yes. You've always been flirty and hands on with her. She loves me, well," Edward stopped and looked at his hands. "She used to. Now she doesn't know who I am and I'm not too sure how she feels about me."

Jacob took a deep breath. "Edward I promise you I don't want to sleep with Bella. She has been a very good friend to me over the years."

"I'm sure she has."

Jacob sat up and looked at Edward. "She is the person I can be most honest with and she doesn't judge me."

"She has a heart of gold, even now" Edward truthfully told Jacob. "I'm still not convinced that you don't want her. I know you do."

"Bella is special and I love her."

Edward scrawled as he looked at Jacob. "Watch what you say about my wife!"

"Bella is like a sister to me." Jacob paused as he looked Edward in the eye. He took a breath before he spoke. "Edward, Bella was the first person I ever told that I am gay."

Silence filled the car. For a moment Edward didn't have a witty comeback. Edward stared at Jacob. He was confused. "Gay?"

"Yes, gay."

Silence filled the car. Edward never took his eyes off of Jacob. "Gay? Gay gay, as in you like guys and Barbara Streisand?"

Jacob couldn't help but start to laugh. "Yes I like men and no to Babs, she does nothing for me."

Edward sat back in his seat. Even drunk he realized that he had been wrong about Jacob. Jacob was caring and wanted what was best for Bella because he loved her and respected her, not because he wanted to sleep with her. "When did you tell Bella?"

"Right after we graduated from college."

Amazed that it had been so long Edward was shocked. "Really? Do other people know?"

Sadly Jacob shook his head. "No. She is the only one besides Emily and Sam, but she's known the longest. I'm working towards telling my dad. I think he'll be fine, but it's kind of scary."

"Dude, Billy is a good guy, he cares about you. He'll be cool with it."

Jacob nodded. "You're right, I know. I have to tell him soon because I met someone I really like. He is opposite of everything I am, but I really care about him."

"Good for you," Edward said as he leaned back in the seat. He closed his eyes as he spoke up. "Make sure you let this guy know how you feel. If you love him, tell him. You never know when it might be the last time you tell him."

Jacob understood what Edward was saying. Silence filled the car until Jacob spoke up when he was more than half way to Edward's house. "Edward?"

"Yes?"

"I know you love Bella and you are upset that she doesn't remember you but you have to man up."

Edward perked up. "Excuse me? What the hell give you the right to make any assumptions about me or my family?"

"Just listen before you have a conniption. If I were you I'd be doing everything in my power to try my hardest to make my partner try to remember."

"My father is the best doctor and-"

"I'm not taking medically. I'm talking about doing something."

Edward laughed humorlessly. "All right Mr. Know It All, what do you propose I do?"

Jacob shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. Make her remember why she fell in love with you in the first place. It's time to man-up."

Edward rolled his eyes. "Any suggestions on how I should do that?"

"Play music for her from when you guys dated or your wedding song. Take her out to places you guys went out to when you dated." Jacob paused as he pulled into Edward's driveway. Edward wasn't quick to get out of the car. He was thinking when Jacob spoke up again. "Edward, I'm not trying to be rude or disrespectful to you. You have done everything you can think of to try and make Bella remember. It's time now to up it. Make her remember why she loves you."

Slowly Edward unbuckled his seat belt. He leaned forward and raked his hand through his hair. He nodded. "Thanks Jacob for the ride. I'm sorry I've misjudged you all these years."

"No worries, you didn't know. I hope I gave you some things to think about."

"You sure did. I'm going to get going. Have a good night," Edward said as he extended his hand to Jacob.

Smiling, Jacob took Edward's hand and shook it. "Thanks, you too. Take it easy."

Edward walked into the house and was happy that everyone was sleeping. He stumbled up to his room where he got dressed. He laid in bed but sleep had a hard time finding him. After tossing and turning for almost an hour Edward shot up. He didn't want to wake up Seth so he quietly went into the bathroom with a pen and paper. He started a list: Operation Regain Bella's Memory. He quickly began to list all the different ideas going through his mind. When he was done he studied the list. He was satisfied with what he had written.

Lastly Edward made a note to thank Jacob for his encouragement.