A/N: Oh hey guys, what's up? This story may include some AUs you've never heard of before, just to let you know ;). If you're curious about any of them I'm sure you can look them up online. :P

On to the story!


Sans woke up the next morning lying face down on the carpet, a couple empty ketchup bottles beside him. There was a throbbing in the back of his head that wouldn't seem to go away, and he felt disoriented and dizzy. The floor was cold and the rest of his body was still half-asleep, unmotivated to move. One of his pink slippers had fallen off in the middle of the night and his hoodie was sprawled haphazardly on his body, the right sleeve having come off his arm. His white shirt was stained with ketchup.

Sans used his telekinesis to slowly lift himself to a standing position, but the use of his powers caused his headache to spike and gave him a sudden sensation of vertigo. He stumbled back and forth a couple times before tripping over one of the bottles and falling onto the couch. He gagged a couple times, spasming every time.

"looks like i ain't using any of my powers today." Sans stood himself up from the couch, this time without telekinesis. He slowly dragged his feet towards the door to get a bit of fresh air, but when he opened the door a huge wave of snow surged into the house, taking Sans with it. He grabbed the couch and held on for dear life, waiting for the snow wave to calm down. By the time it did, there was about three inches of snow on the floor, and he could see that last night's blizzard had dropped about three feet of snow down on the town. They really were a new snowed in town.

"oh you have to be kidding me." Sans hurried up the stairs and opened the door to his room, the flames disappearing as he entered. He slid open one of his drawers and grabbed a long hose, inspecting it for any possible leaks.

"eh, this should do." Sans took one end of the hose and snapped it onto a latch that was bolted into the wall next to the tornado, pointing it towards the whirlwind of air and trash, and took the other end down with him to the living room. He used the hose to vacuum up the snow, sending it through the trash tornado. He hummed Megalovania to himself as he worked his way through all the way to the kitchen. When he was finished, he brought the hose back upstairs and rolled it back up to put in his dresser.

Sans pulled his phone out of his hoodie pocket to check the time, but the battery flashed on the screen; his phone was dead, and he didn't have a charging cable or block on him since Papyrus had decided to take all two of the cables and block pairs they had on the trip. Since there was three feet of snow outside and he couldn't use his powers without doubling over and vomiting, there was only one place to go to get his phone charged. He glanced to his left to check the time on his alarm clock and saw it was 11:37 AM. He had slept in, but not nearly as much as he wanted to or needed to.

Sans sighed to himself; he had not been to that place in quite awhile, and he didn't even know if his method of entrance was still functional. However, between staying comfortable and having Papyrus yelling at him…well that was a no brainer there. Literally.

Sans snatched his missing pink slipper out of the tornado and fixed his hoodie jacket so it looked at least somewhat nice and tidy. He quickly ran downstairs to grab a bottle of ketchup for the trip and put the quantum physics/joke book back on the table while he was at it. He decided to stop himself at his door.

"okay, here we go…" Sans stuffed the ketchup bottle and his phone in his left pocket before setting up in a running stance.

"let's see if i still have my agility…" Sans took off sprinting towards the tornado, Megalovania playing in the background as he charged towards the whirlwind. Right when he was about to enter the tornado he tripped over some object and flipped, sending him spinning into the storm. Just when he thought he was going to slam into the wall, the tornado began to fade away and was replaced with dark and light purple swirl as he spun controllably through inter-dimensional space. Unfortunately for the skeleton, this didn't help his headache or his dizziness.

"i got some chills in my bones-BLEAAHHHHH!" Sans vomited forwards, launching spewed projectiles from his stomach (or magical representation of what would be a stomach) in rippled around him as he continued to do infinite numbers of backflips. The spinning pattern of purple began to intensify, and Sans' vision was now tinted dark purple, almost as if he was high or something.

Out of nowhere, the purple spirals disappeared and Sans crashed into a marble-tiled floor, creating such a loud crunch that it echoed throughout the entire hub. His head had cracked all the tiles it had landed on and his body ached everywhere, the headache still lingering. Surprisingly, he hadn't broken any bones during the encounter.

"ughhhh…oh god." He slowly brought himself up to his hands and knees and checked his pockets. It seemed like the ketchup bottle hadn't ruptured and his phone had not cracked. He shook his head a couple times to clear up his vision, but he still didn't feel the best.

"Sans…is that you?" Sans turned his head to look above him and saw the silhouette of a figure wearing a scarf and a hoodie around their waist. They seemed to be holding some sort of thick staff and had eyes that kept changing color and shape.

"ink buddy old pal, help me up, wouldya?" Ink's eyes turned into purple semi-circles and his smile turned into a slightly annoyed frown. He reached out with his left hand, which Sans grabbed. He pulled Sans up and gave him a smile.

"Sans, it is you! You haven't been back in awhile, why are you here?" Sans shrugged, his hands back into his hoodie pockets.

"papyrus and the others went on a trip without me and my phone is dead. papyrus took all the cables."

"Wait…Sans…did they leave you or did you lose something and you couldn't go?" Sans laughed and winked.

"you know me too well ink."

"Ahhhh, that's a classic. Nice to have you back bud." He slapped Sans on the shoulder and turned him around.

"You know, you really have to work on your landings again. You're really rusty."

"i tripped over something going in ink, that's not my faaauul-" Sans' voice trailed off as he looked away from Ink and saw what was actually in front of him.

"Yeah, it's magnificent, isn't it?" Sans' eyes disappeared in awe as he took in the sight.

"you guys have…well…done a few 'expansions' since the last time i was here, huh?"

"I guess you can call it that," chuckled Ink, swinging his paintbrush around. Sans was standing in a forty-foot-wide marble circle suspended in the exact center of a giant glass sphere that seemed to stretch a kilometer in every direction he looked, connected to pathways that spanned the inside of the ball. There were numerous other similar marble circles located at different elevations, some with buildings or tele porters located on them, or pathways leading to enclosed rooms built on the side of the sphere. On the larger marble circles were elevators that could take you down to a lower level or up to the roof where you could view the sky from the outside. The glass itself was built in a triangular pattern, gridded together to form the outside of the sphere. The light refracted through the prisms and illuminated the place with both rainbows and solid light.

That wasn't the only thing that surprised Sans. No matter where he looked, he could see him walking around on the pathways or sitting talking to himself at a restaurant. This combined with the vast proportions of the structure ran chills up Sans' spine. The last time he was here he remembered being able to see him everywhere he went, but it wasn't nearly the size it was now.

"damn, sans central really is something now."

"Yeah, no kidding Sans. We invited you here for opening, but you never came. Or RSVP'd. Or even responded." Ink blinked, his eyes turning to polygonal shapes.

"oh, that's what that was?" Ink facepalmed.

"Sans…"

"hehe, oops." Ink waved his hand, dismissing the statement.

"Whatever, it's all fine and dandy now. Come on, I'll take you to Bone Appétit and we can meet up with some of the others." Sans' eyes brightened as he scratched his head. That was his favorite place in Sans Central. The food was great, and the comedy they had were real bone ticklers. Even he did some stand-up there back in the old days.

"it's still open?" questioned Sans. Ink's eyes turned into yellow suns and stars.

"Of course it is! The food's amazing, why wouldn't it be?" Ink led him down one of the pathways leading to another large marble circle. Leaning over the steel railings, he could see all the way down to the bottom, crisscrossing pathways and circles going in and out of his view. He continued to look around, hands in his pockets, as he followed Ink to an elevator. They both stepped in and the door shut closed. Ink pressed a button and he slid his feet into some straps located on the floor.

"why would you need that?" Ink brought his scarf up and held in a laugh.

"Oh, you'll see. I recommend doing the same.

"ink, it's just an elevator, why would I need to-" The elevator dove straight down, going from zero to something really fast almost instantly. Sans slammed into the ceiling and Ink burst out laughing.

"holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit-."

"Hahahahaha Sans! What did I tell you?!"

"i regret all my life decisions!" The elevator slowly came to a halt, dropping Sans to the floor. He laid there for about thirty seconds, absolutely drained of everything.

"Come on Sans, we're almost there." Ink grabbed him by the hoodie and dragged him out by the elevator, his eyes now red scribbles. Sans' eyes had vanished from the sockets and his face was frozen in a stunned expression. His feet and legs squeaked along the marble flooring, unleashing a terrible sound that would hurt to hear. After about three minutes of dragging, Ink dropped Sans' hoodie and looked to his right. Sans, noticing he was no longer being dragged, got up and looked at Ink.

"what are you looking aaaaaaa-."

"Sans, are you going to continue to do that or what?"

"probably."

"Yeah, I thought so." Sans looked at his favorite restaurant, "Bone" Appétit, which was run by various Sanses from cooking AUs. It was a two story building that looked like your stereotypical coffee shop or Panera (not French, cuz ha), with the name of the restaurant glowing above the front door. The outside walls were made of brick, and there was a bit of a green roof extension where the first floor met the second floor. A giant glowing sandwich sign was rotating on a pole located at the top of the building; Sans supposed you'd have to make a statement like that in a place like this.

"jesus, they must have made a lot of money." Ink pulled out his phone and opened the Yelp: Sans Edition app.

"Yeah, it's rated 4.5 bones out of 5 Gaster Blasters."

"what the-"

"Don't ask." Sans went quiet.

Sans followed Ink as he walked up to the front door. Sans read the sign placed on the glass near the door:

Bone Appétit
Open Literally Almost All Day, Hours May Vary
A Hotpot of AUs coming together to come up with creative new dishes
Sanses only
pun

Sans had seen two of these things already in the past two days. Maybe it was becoming too much.

The bell rang as Ink swung the door open and entered the restaurant/coffee shop place. Sans quietly followed in suit. CookTale!Sans came out from behind a wall and went up to the seating station.

"Oh hey Ink, were you here to-" CT!Sans noticed Sans next to him.

"Oh hey Sans, long time no see! How have you been?" Sans shrugged again.

"got a bit of a headache, but besides that and slamming into the floor multiple times, i'm all good." CT!Sans burst out laughing.

"He didn't put his feet in the straps, did he?"

"Nope," replied Ink, a huge smile on his face. They both started laughing at Sans.

"haha, very funny guys. now, 'sand'which one of you would be kind enough to show me where i'm sitting, before i get myself deeper into this 'pickle?'" CT!Sans looked at Ink.

"You're taking him to?" Ink nodded.

"Yeah, you two, come this way. And I will presume you want the regular, Sans." The two followed CT!Sans through a labyrinth of seats filled with Sanses, up the stairs to the second floor, to a booth where two other Sanses were already sitting, not really talking to each other. CT!Sans left Ink and Sans standing in front of the booth, waiting for something to happen.

"…Ahem," coughed Ink. The two looked up.

"INK! HOW ARE YOU TODA-" Blue noticed Sans. "MWEH HEH HEH! IT IS LAZY ME, FINALLY BACK HERE AT SANS CENTRAL!" Sans smiled awkwardly. He didn't deal very well with Blueberry's enthusiasm.

"Well it's fucking classic, isn't it," mocked Edge/Red, looking back down at his phone.

"Why do you two keep dragging me into this shit?"

"HEY, DON'T USE THOSE WORDS AROUND ME OR MY BROTHER WILL COME AFTER YOU!" Red shrunk back into his hoodie, causing Sans to snort a bit.

"Can we sit down?" inquired Ink.

"Sure, whatever." Sans took the seat next to Edge and Ink the one next to Blue.

"So…" began Ink, "what have you two been up to?"

"I INVENTED A NEW RECIPE FOR TACOS TODAY!" shouted Blue, "I THINK IT'S BETTER THAN BEFORE!"

"If you mean edible, then yeah, it's better," muttered Edge. Sans chuckled a bit at the remark.

"Edge?" He looked up from his phone for a moment, the red eye in the back of his socket glowing brightly.

"What the fuck do you think?" he spat, "I'm being dragged around by you two idiots, especially since nobody else can tolerate my 'bullshit' for an extended period of time." He made quotes in the air with his hands, causing Ink's eyes to change and him to cover his mouth with his scarf. Sans leaned back in his spot and his eyes dimmed a bit, trying to relax despite the incessant headache.

"Sans?" He perked up a bit.

"yea?"

"I thought you needed something…" Sans thought for a bit.

"oh yeah, that's right. do either of you have a charger?" Blue shook his head.

"Yeah, I got one, but you have to do one thing for me," laughed Edge. Sans' eyes disappeared; this never ended well. Edge got a piece of paper from his pocket and wrote something in red ink with a bone pen he summoned. He handed it to Sans.

"Say that to your Toriel." Sans glanced over it.

"i like watching goat p-" He punched Edge in the shoulder, who started laughing.

"PFFFFFFFFFFFFF, your face was good enough. Here." Edge grabbed a block and cable out from his left hoodie pocket and tossed it to Sans, who plugged it into the outlet on the floor.

"MWEH HEH HEH! WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO LAZY ME?" Sans laid back once again.

"well, i was supposed to go on a trip with the others, but i lost my tickets-" Edge snorted loudly.

"Ha, you fucking idiot, I can't believe you did that."

"MWEH! WATCH THE LANGUAGE!"

"Yeah, and what are you going to do about it?" Blue summoned a bone staff.

"THE MAGNIFICENT SANS WILL BEAT YOUR SKULL IN WITH A STICK!"

"Bring it on you piece of-" Ink grabbed both of them and they both froze.

"Jesus Christ, no more of this fighting, please." They both slumped back, upset.

"So immature," whispered Ink to Sans as he was drawing a unicorn on a napkin.

"yea…right…" CT!Sans returned with a BLT and a bottle of ketchup on a tray. He gave the sandwich to Ink and the ketchup to Sans.

"Undercooked!Sans says hi. This is on the house." CT!Sans tucked the metal tray under his arm and walked back down the stairs. Ink's eyes turned into stars as he took a bite out of the sandwich.

"This thing is always good." Sans took a sip of the deluxe ketchup and smiled. It had that same ol' taste.

"So, Sans," mumbled Ink between bites, "since you're alone for awhile, what are you going to do?" Blue and Edge were also looking at him, curious to see what he would say. Sans shrugged.

"i dunno to be honest. i don't really have anything planned." Edge slammed the table.

"Since when did you have anything planned?"

"fair enough." Blue raised his hand and started jumping up and down.

"OOH! OOH! THE MAGNIFICENT SANS HAS AN IDEA!"

"What is it you little fucking maniac?"

"LETS ALL HANG OUT AT LAZY ME'S PLACE!"

"WHAT?" shouted literally everyone else.

"Are you insane?" asked Ink. "Remember the last time that happened?" Sans tried to remember what happened the last time. From what he could recall, it involved exactly fourteen dumplings, a fire hydrant, and two-and-a-half tons of deodorant.

"Pff, I smelled good for about a month," said Edge. He paused for a moment before his eye brightened up.

"It wasn't good thing, you dumbasses. Don't get any wrong ideas." Ink laughed.

"MWEH! WE HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING LIKE THAT IN AWHILE, WHY CAN'T WE DO IT AGAIN?! I'LL BRING TACOS!"

"what do you mean we haven't done something like that in a while? there was a sans reunion a couple years ago."

"Sans, we had to fight off Error from eating all the cookies," grumbled Ink. "It was much more a food fight than a reunion." He shrugged.

"I mean Sans, in the end it's up to you. It's your place; you can do what you want to do with it." Ink touched the tip of his paintbrush, which was leaning against the seat, and cleaned it off with a bit of water from a vial.

Sans thought about it a bit while looking out the window of the coffee shop/restaurant. He watched as multiple Sans walked to and fro around Sans Central, talking to the other Sans as they went. He kinda missed that. On the other end, it tended to get a bit crazy whenever he had other Sanses over. Especially if you had Papyrus in the equation. Fortunately for Sans, Papyrus was gone on vacation. He did have alone time to do whatever he wanted…right?

Sans shrugged and smiled.

"you know what? i'm in. i mean, i can't get into any trouble if i'm just hanging out with myself, right?" Blueberry did a fist pump.

"MWEH HEH HEH! NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!" Blueberry jumped over the seat backing and ran down the stairs, almost running into Geno, whose white glitch buzzed a bit. Edge's eye dimmed a bit.

"OH you have to be fucking kidding me here-," Ink blocked Edge from speaking anymore with a napkin ball. Edge shouted intelligible expletives with the napkin gag.

"Sure, I'm in if you're in."

"MRRMFMFMRPFMPMRPMFMF!" shouted Edge. Ink laughed.

"No more cursing."

"Mrmph." Ink dissolved the napkin gag and Edge took several deep breaths.

"If you ever do that to me again, I swear to god…" Ink laughed. Sans got up to let Edge out of the booth as he stomped away. Sans turned to Ink.

"I hope you know what you're doing with this…" Sans shrugged.

"like i said, i can't get into much trouble if i'm hanging out with myself." Ink's eyes turned into a series of dots and lines.

"Okay…if you insist." CT!Sans came back up and Ink grabbed a giant gold coin out of his pocket and flipped it to CT!Sans, who caught it.

"Here's a tip, not that you needed it. Just a motion of gratitude."

"Thanks Ink. Have a good one." Sans followed Ink back down the stairs and out the door, the bell ringing as it swung open. He tapped Ink on the shoulder as they walked back to the elevator.

"Yeah Sans, what is it?"

"i forgot my phone."

"Hey, no worries. I'll wait here." Sans turned around and his eye burned as he teleported back up to the booth. Unfortunately, he forgot about his headache, and the pain seared throughout his skull as he exited the teleportation.

"aw carp," he said, having landed next to a cooked carp. His vision suddenly blacked out and he felt himself emotionless in space. When his vision returned, he saw a figure wearing a black turtleneck resembling a skeleton.

"g-gaster? what do you want?" Gaster was silent.

"g-gaster?" Then, he spoke.

"SHOOBY DOOBY DOBBY DABBY DOOBITY WOW, SHA SHOOBY SHOOBY SHOOBY DOOBY SECRET SECRET!" Sans facepalmed.

"that was very helpful." Gaster dissipated and Sans found himself standing in Judgment Hall, the kid at the other side, knife in hand, ready to strike. Premonition began to play in the background.

"why am i seeing this now?" Frisk struck with the knife, Sans dodging out of the way, his eye glowing as he blasted the kid. However, Frisk had the Chara smile, without the Chara outfit. This can't be possible, unless…

Time froze, and Sans landed softly, the kid preparing to rebound for another strike. He watched as Gaster emerged again from behind a pillar.

"please tell me you aren't going to make that hideous noise again," he muttered. Gaster shook his head and spoke, but Sans couldn't decipher the wingdings.

"hold up, let me change my thought process…" Sans focused hard as he transferred from regular language to wingdings, allowing him to communicate with Gaster.

"what is it you want?" Gaster paced around the pillar.

"Sans, you have to be careful out there. I hope you realize what this means here." Sans glimpsed back and forth between Gaster and Frisk, who was still frozen in time.

"gaster…this isn't my timeline is it?" Gaster nodded.

"Correct."

"then why am i seeing this-."

"Because if you are not careful Sans, you could seriously alter several timelines," he remarked. "You could get yourself permanently integrated into them, or worse render them dysfunctional."

"i thought carrot handled this-."

"Sans. This is a possible future, right here. One simple slip-up in your fun, and you could change everything. Especially with Error, who will likely figure out about your party and try and 'join' the fun."

"well that's great gaster."

"Sans you have to take this seriously." Gaster's form began to fizz into static.

"It seems my time is up Sans. Be careful." He completely dissipated and the real world smashed back into him like a sledgehammer. Probably because Blueberry had swung a sledgehammer and missed his head by about two inches. At least his headache was gone.

"HEY! WATCH THE FLOOR!" shouted Undercooked!Sans, who had left the kitchen. Sans drowsily looked up to see Blueberry bring the hammer back up for another swing.

"THE MAGNIFICENT SANS WILL WAKE HIM UP!"

"oh shit!" Sans rolled out of the way to dodge the sledgehammer and found himself standing on a seat.

"blue, i'm awake, stop!" Blue dropped the sledgehammer, which bounced down the stairs and landed with a crunch, all three Sanses watching cringing.

"Ow, my foot!"

"That's gotta suck for GB!Sans," muttered Undercooked!Sans, who looked at the cracks in the floor.

"You're going to have to pay for that at some point," he scolded, pointing at Blueberry, "but I'll just put it on the tab for now. Be careful next time." He left the room, mumbling something to himself.

Ink appeared out an ink puddle on the ceiling.

"Sans, what happened?" Sans scratched his head, just as confused as Ink.

"honestly, i don't know." He saw his phone and Edge's charger out of the corner of his eye and grabbed it. "i found my phone though."

"Okay, good. Let's go. Blue, don't forget your sledgehammer." The other two walked down the stairs, Sans trailing far behind. What did Gaster mean? Why did he show Underswap? What did those weird lyrics represent?

Sans shook the questions off. Anyways, he had a party to prepare for.


I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter of Sans, Sans, and Sans. If you liked this story or have constructive criticism for me, please let me know.

All AUs and the original Undertale belong to their creators, I do not own any of these characters.

See ya next time!

-Blox