AN: Hello, Everyone, I just wanted to say this about Sha're... A lot of people like to Write her as a Prototype Post-Modern Feminist. I will not do so. Her culture, upbringing, and outlook on life is in many ways, fundamentally different to the other amazing women in Stargate. That said, I hope to show that although her values may differ, she is strong, capable, and a force in her own right.


Bittersweet

Sha're loved market day, because on market day she could imagine herself back on Abydos carefully choosing the foods that she'd prepare for her husband. His allergies had initially caused many problems in the first months of their marriage, but eventually she'd learned what he could tolerate. Her life had been simple and perfect. She took special care of the man she loved, giving him everything he didn't know he needed. In turn, he opened her mind to things that her mother had taught her as a very small child, and so much more. At first, she thought he only taught her things because he did not want a wife who could not talk to him about things he cared about. Fortunately, he cleared up her wrong thinking immediately. He passionately assured her that he taught her because he saw her hunger for knowledge and he wanted her to learn not for his sake, but for her own.

As she chose the meat for that night's supper she imagined making her Dan'iyel's favorite stew, the one meal guaranteed to make him tear himself away from work. She smiled as she slipped further into her dream world. She would make the stew, collect him from the pyramid, and help him wash. The harvest festival would begin at sundown, and she'd present him with the new robes she'd woven. For a moment, her dream world shook as she remembered that Apophos attacked before she'd finished the robes in reality. She forcefully banished the memory from her dream and continued. She'd give him the new robes dyed red from berry juice, and blue from the pulverized scarab shells. They'd dress, eat, and dance until the suns came up over the horizon. Finally, they would go to their tent and make love until sleep claimed them. In the morning she'd pray they would have a baby before the season ended.

The sound of a merchant screaming pulled her back into the real world and she wiped tears off her face. "Where did these come from?" she spat in Abydonian.

More time passed, and she continued watching and learning. She watched his battle with the machine in the form of his beloved Samantha where he died again, and her mother once again saved him. Then she learned the truth about Anubis, and with her husband her rage burned at the injustice and arrogance of the Ancients. Her righteous anger only grew when the Ori revealed themselves, and peace became prison once more. Then one day things changed, her son set her free. Joining her mother and the people of Abydos in battling Anubis reignited her will to truly live. She knew the others would never let her return to human form and to Dan'iyel, but she also knew that she could do things differently. Her time fighting Amaunet had made her mind more powerful.

Millennia of apathy, arrogance, and hiding from any challenge had stagnated the others' minds in ways hers was not. After helping to destroy Anubis, she left her son to confront the Orici; a woman she loathed for attempting to corrupt Dan'iyel. She would always cherish Adria's reaction when she realized who she was before dying. Shifu who had developed an affection to the Asgard that rivaled O'Neill's could not accept them becoming extinct. Although she could not understand time travel, she readily assisted hiding her son from the others as he gently inspired the Asgard scientists to the path they needed to save themselves. Of course, the others never hid their disapproval of these activities, but since they hadn't directly broken the collective will they didn't stop them.

As much as she wanted to be human again and have her Dan'iyel back, she cherished her time with her son. While she carried him in her womb she dreamed of the things she wanted to teach him though she knew she wouldn't be able too. Ascension gave her time to be the mother the Goa'uld robbed him of. They formed a deep bond and she relished the chance to teach and be taught. Finding Elizabeth changed everything. Shifu wanted to visit the Pegasus galaxy to try and understand why the others refused to take responsibility for the chaos they had created. Another shout pulled her out of her musings. To her relief this time her face remained dry. A shift in the wind made the fine hairs of her skin stand up. "A great sandstorm is coming," she murmured.

She hurried to through the market towards the school where Elizabeth taught as part of the exchange they had with the city elders for their dwelling. She smiled thinking of the deal she and her sister had negotiated with the people of this world. A brilliant diplomat, with the daughter of a former powerful Chief and a renegade Ancient made for an excellent team. She used her healing abilities and weaving skills, while Elizabeth used her teaching skills in exchange for a small plot of land outside the city for them to set up a dwelling. A smile stretched her lips as she remembered finding Elizabeth, one instant that opened a new path of both their existences. While she and her son searched for answers they came across the floating Replicators. Her son grew incredibly despondent, so much so that for the first time since being freed she truly felt fear.

"It is another wrong," he sighed.

"Tell me, my son," she encouraged tenderly.

He did, he told her of Elizabeth a woman she'd watched negotiate with the Goa'uld along with her Dan'iyel. He told her of the sacrifices she'd made for the city she'd loved and for her people, and what the machines had done to her. More righteous indignation filled her at the Ancients' not even trying to assist the woman who devoted her life to protecting their city and their legacy.

Ganus Lal, known to Elizabeth and the Tau'ri as Morgan, helped them come up with a way to save Atlantis' chosen leader, and hid them from the New Lanteans. The weeks spent with her son at the outpost as she worked tirelessly to restore Elizabeth still confused her. While she'd learned things watching through Amaunet and the prism of the others, she still could not explain them in the words of the 'scientists' of her husband's world. Elizabeth often told her not to worry about this, but she knew if the Tau'ri ever found them they would want answers with the scientists' words, words she could not give them. Even at the outpost she only had to think what she wanted to do into the computer and it happened. She didn't use science in the way she'd seen Samantha use it. How could she explain it?

"Sha're, why are you here?" Elizabeth asked, startling her from her thoughts.

"A sandstorm comes," she answered. "You have an hour maybe two before you won't be able to get home by yourself. I wanted you to know. Maybe Atticus will bring you home on his equis so you can finish your last class before it reaches us."

"I'll talk to him thank you," Elizabeth smiled. "I don't understand, none of the scanners have picked up anything."

Sha're laughed. The Aridusian's had technology slightly more advanced than the Tau'ri, less so than the Goa'uld. In her opinion, they depended on their machines far too much. Still, Elizabeth trusted machines, while her own instincts often proved them wrong. Providing one of the many reasons they lived outside the village. "All this time and you still can't feel the changes in the sands," she teased. "I will go home now, be safe."

"Yes, mother," Elizabeth pouted, sticking out her tongue.

Sha're shook her head at her sister's childish display that reminded her so much of Skaara. For a moment she could hear his laughter, and she wondered if he'd touched her mind. Knowing he couldn't tell her she left the school and continued her journey. They made their dwelling less than half a kilometer, or klick as Elizabeth called it, by the old well the first settlers had dug upon coming to the planet. At first, the people had thought her mad for requesting to be allowed to make a dwelling outside the village, but she knew that she and Elizabeth were far too different to live as one with them. Eventually, they would leave this place. She didn't know how or why, but she knew it as surely as she knew the storm would come.

Besides, neither she, nor Elizabeth wished to be besieged by suitors. Both them belonged to their men, whether their men knew it or not. Their 'rustic and primitive' ways kept most people away, except curious children and a few who still went beyond the oases for research. The elders had been very generous, supplying them with everything they needed for her to make a dwelling similar to those on Abydos, as well as providing them with materials for her to build Goa'uld shields and a modified hand device. Although she could not use the language of 'scientists,' she'd learned all she could about Gao'uld technology. While she could not claim to be an 'expert' as her husband would say, she could draw what she wanted to build, and the Aridusians crafted the pieces, and she put them together. Elizabeth warned her to be very careful, and she heeded the warning. She made sure that the people who fabricated her pieces did not know or trade with each other, and she suspected her mother had guided her to find the correct stones to find the proper crystals she needed. Despite the 'rustic' nature of their temporary home, she and Elizabeth were well protected.

"Hello, daughter," a gentle voice laughed.

"Mother!" Sha're gasped. She held on to her purchases through sheer instinct. "What are you doing here? What will the others do?"

"Calm yourself, my child. I've only come because the others are so incensed at our Sunbeam that they're forbidding him from ever taking corporeal form again," Oma answered, tears filling her eyes.

Sha're stiffened as a burning anger filled her blood. "Why?" she growled.

"He's bringing Daniel to you, and the Elizabeth's family as well. The others have never wanted you both to be together, you're both too advanced on the path too soon. You, because of my blood, and Daniel because his mind is unique and spirit pure. Even the depths of his hatred of the Goa'uld and the Ori were based on the destruction they caused for the innocent. What terrifies them most is that you and Daniel can ascend on your own if ever either of you choose to do so. You must understand—"

"They think Daniel is too backward, and I'm an abomination," Sha're whispered.

"No, they think Daniel is unable to keep from changing the course of the universe, and you are too backward," Oma spat. "If that weren't bad enough they really fear your potential children. Forgive me, my child. My reckless ways have nearly ruined your life, Daniel's life, and now our Sunbeam will never live as a human even if his mental barriers get strong enough to resist the genetic memory."

"No, mother," Sha're sighed. "Although you are not perfect, nobody is. You gave me life, and despite all that has happened, and what will happen, I am grateful for my life on all planes. I am grateful for my son. Promise me that you will keep him safe and loved," she choked on her words.

"Always, my love," Oma swore. "Come, finish your chores. You will be feeding more than Elizabeth tonight."

A small smile touched her face, reminded of the times her mother spoke similar words in her girlhood. "I've missed you, mother."

"If I didn't leave you and Skaara, the others might have punished you all. I did what I had to do to protect my husband and my children," Oma whispered.

Sha're bowed to her mother. "As I will do what I must to protect my husband and my son."

Oma allowed herself to become fully corporeal and wrapped her arms around her daughter. "Just remember one thing, Daniel and his family are coming. You won't have to endure alone anymore, let them take care of you."

"I will," Sha're whispered, melting in her mother's embrace. "However, I worry for my Eliz'a. There are times when she says the only way she knows this is her reality is because her family, particularly Colonel Sheppard is not here. I'm afraid for her mind. I can heal non-lethal injuries, thanks to the powers your blood and teachings, and I can heal illness and lethal injuries using my powers with my hand device, but I cannot heal a mind."

"That is why you must trust her family!" Oma insisted. "However, be cautious. Colonel Sheppard is a great man, but he constantly tortures himself for perceived failures, and he will not understand Elizabeth's rage until he understands the true nature of his love for her. You must pay attention so that you do not speak out of turn, nor stay silent when you must speak."

"Yes, mother. Dan'iyel will help me, he understands the Tau'ri warriors more than I ever will."

"I must go now. Our Sunbeam wants permission to take corporeal form one last time when Daniel comes. Your father and Skaara already argue before The Elders."

Tears fell down Sha're's face. "Mother, tell them I've never held my son in my arms. I only ask for the privilege once."

"I will, my daughter."


The jumper came through the Pegasus stargate directly in orbit around a desert world. John muttered a particularly filthy curse in Arabic. "I hate deserts," he growled under this breath.

"That's obvious by your choice of words," Daniel chuckled. "My wife is a child of sand and sun. If I had to guess, she begged to be allowed to descend and take Elizabeth some place she knew she could hide and protect them both best."

John smothered the scowl fighting to break out on his face. "Elizabeth isn't meant for such a harsh life," he murmured.

"It's a good thing we're bringing them home then," Daniel replied. He tilted his head, so he could stare at the other man without him knowing. "Although, you have to admit the desert is far less harsh then floating in the icy vacuum of space in the technological equivalent of a coma."

"That was Elizabeth's choice, Doctor!" John growled in the same dangerous, deadly hiss Jack used for his enemies.

"I know it was, John. I read every report Atlantis has ever sent to earth," Daniel soothed. "You know, out of all the crazy things I've gone through since we figured out how to open the stargate nothing has scared me this badly."

John turned to look at his companion, confusion clouding his eyes. "Why? You're getting your wife back. What's scary about that?"

Daniel sighed, rolling his eyes as he did when Jack or Cam asked him a question with a blatantly obvious answer. "I've believed my wife was dead for fifteen years. Even disregarding the first three and a half years she spent as a host, we've grown so far beyond what we were on Abydos together that it's entirely possible no matter how much I love her we won't be able to get that relationship back. I don't think I could survive losing Sha're like that," he finished with an anguished gasp. "Before her I literally had nothing! No family, my so-called 'friends' in the academic world shunned me, no money, no home, nothing. Then I went to another world, and she connived her way into being presented to me as a gift. Somehow, I got a family, a home, a place where I could explore for several lifetimes and never learn it all… or so I believed at the time. I went from just existing to living. When I lost her, I lost a vital part of myself. I didn't return to who I had been thanks to Jack, Sam, and Teal'c, Cam and Vala have also added a lot to my life, but Sha're… I speak almost thirty languages, read and write in dozens more," he chuckled. "I still don't know the words that describe what she is to me."

John swallowed a lump that closed his throat and settled deep inside the pit of his gut. Hearing Daniel describe his life before Sha're showed him the eerie similarities of his own before Atlantis. Estranged from his entire family, considered an untrustworthy renegade by the Air Force, he loved Antarctica because he could hide from all of it. Then he'd sat in a chair and his life changed. Elizabeth Weir decided she wanted him for the expedition and she'd connived, schemed, and called in every marker she had to get him there. Unexpectedly to all she'd given him a home where he belonged, a cause to believe in and fight for, a family he could respect, and true friends. She'd earned his trust, his complete allegiance, and his respect. Somehow, they'd formed a bond he couldn't categorize despite being smart enough to join MENSA, and since losing her he'd lost something inside himself he neither recognized, nor understood.

Could it be that the bond between them had been irreparably broken by time and the Replicators? A violent shudder pierced straight through his chest. "Are you worried your wife will be a stranger?" he asked as he scanned for an appropriate landing site.

"Yes, in some ways I am," Daniel honestly answered. "However, I think the fact that I may have become a complete stranger to her is vastly more terrifying."

"Well, my friend Carson—"

"I've met Doctor Beckett," Daniel cut in. "He's a great guy."

"That's right, I forgot you were at the outpost in Antarctica," John chucked. "Elizabeth was really pissed she couldn't get you."

"I'm never forgiving Jack for that!" Daniel growled.

John raised his eyebrow, making a mental note to get that story out of his companion before they went their separate ways. "Anyway, after a few good pints or shots of good scotch he gets very poetic about genetics. We've spent many an hour discussing what makes us who we are. He believes our personalities, everything we're capable of being, good or bad, is written out in our DNA. What determines how we turn out, is a complicated mix of the circumstances and the choices we make. So basically, you two have always been capable of becoming who you are now, and you should both still have what makes you two love each other. I'm not sure I understood the theory correctly, I was usually drunk during those chats."

"I hope you're right, John… OH CRAP!" Daniel exclaimed staring at the planet. "There's a sandstorm brewing, one of the worst ones I've ever seen."

"Dammit!" John snarled. "I don't want to land the jumper anywhere near that!"

The bright light that signaled an ascended being filled the jumper. "Neither jumper can land, so beam down!" Skaara laughed.

"Skaara!" Daniel laughed, hugging his young brother-in-law. "John, this is Sha're's brother. Skarra, this is Colonel John Sheppard—"

"If you think I don't know who the guardians of Atlantis are, Dan'iyel, you're crazy," Skaara chided, shoving the older man playfully.

"Just being polite," Daniel muttered with a good-natured smirk.

John faked a cough to grab attention. "Nice to meet you, Skaara, but jumpers don't have beaming technology," he groused.

Skaara grinned and slapped the grouchy Colonel on the back. He waved his hand over the console and smirked. "Now it does. Okay, I'll go set up O'Neill's jumper. The location of their dwelling is in the computer, you only have to think 'beam down' when you're ready. Sheppard…" the young man addressed the older man with a gravity that made the humans' hair stand up. "My sister had taken your Elizabeth as her own blood. If you don't like what you find be careful that you point your anger in the right direction. My father and I are watching."

Daniel's eyebrows rose at his brother's blatant threat. "Skaara—" he snapped in a firm voice.

"Its fine, Daniel!" John cut in. He turned fully to face the young man glaring at him. "Fortunately, I'm not as dumb as I look, and I've put a few things together," he spoke in a soft, harsh voice. "Your sister's number one priority is obviously her son and rightfully so. The way I see it, he's managed to piss off most of the bigwigs in glow-land by coming to earth and leading us to them. If I were you, I'd stop worrying about me pissing off your sister and protect your nephew. If you ever decide to come after me and mine—" he trailed off and allowed his lips to crack a malevolent grin. "I don't care what you do to the weather, I'll find a way to hurt you."

Skaara winked at his pale brother-in-law and grinned. "You misunderstand, Sheppard, it is not me you need to fear. We are brothers now. My father and I are watching to make sure Sha're won't hurt you if you anger her. She is as fierce as you when she claims someone as her own. If you don't believe me, ask Dan'iyel what she's capable of."

John's jaw dropped open, but before he could speak Skaara had vanished. "Sorry about that, John," Daniel stuttered a red blush creeping up on his face.

"You know, he's the third person that's warned me not to make your wife angry," John sighed. "Should I be scared, Doc?"

Daniel ran his fingers through his hair, making it spike up and took a deep breath. "Let me put it this way… she's the sweetest, kindest, and gentlest person I've ever known. It's not easy to get her angry, but when it happens, it makes that storm brewing look like a breeze. She has very few limits if she believes she's fighting for the right thing and someone she loves."

John nodded, filing the words away as tactical Intel. "Did you ever piss her off like that?" he asked with a smirk.

Daniel shuddered at the memory. "Once. I lost track of time and worked for two days straight, and I forgot to tell her where I'd be. She found me and wouldn't let me leave the house for a week. I made sure I never gave her a reason to be angry again. Sure, we bickered and argued like any couple inevitably does, but like I said, it's difficult to make her truly angry unless you put someone she loves in harm's way physically, or emotionally."

John raised his eyebrow at Daniel's last words his inference all too clear, 'upset Elizabeth at your own risk.' "I'll keep that in mind, Doc. Let's do this."

A warm, soft smile touched Daniel's lips, and his eyes filled with gratitude for John's attempt to offer him reassurance. "I understand. The thing is, the man I was then could barely bring himself to hold a pistol. Now, I've become someone responsible for committing a genocide of an entire race of ascended beings, and a forced mass conversion of most of the Milky Way away from Origin. Sometimes, I find it impossible to believe I ever was the man Sha're married."