Is This Reality
Elizabeth sighed feeling every tiny hair on her body standing straight up. She loathed the feeling, unsure of whether the unease came from the approaching storm, or the dreams that refused to release her from their torment in her sleep. "Thank you, Atticus," she said over the breeze. "I still don't see how Sha're knew this storm was coming when none of the planet's scanners detected it."
"Oh, my child!" the old man chuckled. "I've learned that regardless of the wonders we're able to create, some of the old ways will always be the best. That's why I'm so glad you beautiful children have blessed my home with your knowledge. Now, tell me truly, why is it that you and Sha're insist on living on the barren lands and refuse to associate with any of our young men?"
"We've told you many times, Atticus, neither Sha're or I are free," she stammered, trying not to appear like a schoolgirl caught in a lie.
The old man let out a harsh grunt. "Then where are your men?"
"We don't know!" Elizabeth snapped, rubbing her temples. "Atticus," she spoke a hint of desperation coloring her voice. "You have to understand, the wars that separated Sha're and I from the people we love were on a scale that most people can't even can't imagine unless they experience it. This planet is blessed. It lies far beyond Wraith feeding territories, and I'm nearly certain the regular sandstorms shield the settlements from their ships. I know that the way we live is strange to you. It's still strange to me as well, but we have our reasons, and I believe that we have more than proved ourselves to be friends of you and your people."
"Now, my child, be more tolerant of an old man," he pouted. "You children must love those young men very much."
"Sha're and I just know that to try to replace the ones we have lost would only be unfair to ourselves and anyone else," she murmured.
"All I know, dear one, is that either of you girls were mine I'd search the universe to get you back."
Despite the humiliation burning in her stomach, Elizabeth couldn't help but smile at his words. "You're a kind man, Atticus, and more than a little meddlesome."
"A privilege of advanced age, Elizabeth," he chuckled.
"Okaydokey, folks we all heard the lady," Jack smirked. "Let's get into the tent before we're all baked to a crisp."
Sha're giggled at O'Neill's strange words. "Come, Sunbeam, you can help me with our guests," she instructed her son.
A smile tugged on everyone's lips as they watched the child scurry into the tent laughing with delight. "That's the first time I've ever seen him act like a kid," O'Neill laughed.
"It's good to see though, sir," Sam smirked, rolling her eyes.
"Indeed," Teal'c intoned.
Vala stared at the entrance to the tent as her stomach tightened as her heart sped up once again. "You're looking a little rosier there, Princess," Cam drawled.
"So are you, with that pale skin of yours, Cam. Will it go all the way down?" she jibed with a grin.
"Let's get inside," he murmured, offering his arm.
"Is it strange that I wish I was on one of Adria's ships right now?" she muttered under her breath.
Before Cam could say anything, Daniel took her other arm. "Vala, for once just trust me," he chuckled.
Daniel stepped into the tent and nearly collapsed by the feeling of walking into the past. The familiar smell of the stew, the sight of the few pieces of furniture arranged exactly as she would have on Abydos, made him nearly blind with tears. Just as his knees began to shake Sha're appeared before him with a large basin of water and a cloth. "Come, Dan'iyel, you know to take your boots off," she instructed, the tender shyness in her voice dancing through his ears and down his spine.
"Jack, we all have to take off our shoes," he ordered.
"Sha're, please," Jack begged. "You know I get embarrassed."
"O'Neill, if you wish to eat you will take off your shoes," she ordered in the same voice she used to scold Skaara. Looking around to all the others she sighed. "That goes for all the rest of you as well."
Teal'c raised his eyebrow, a half-smile curling on the left corner of his mouth. "To miss such a meal would be a mortal insult among my people," he said, bending down to remove his combat boots.
"Okay, I'm convinced," Cam grinned. "I hate to say it, but whatever's cooking might smell better than my grandma's pot roast."
"Cameron, BLASPHEMY!" Vala giggled.
Sha're blushed scarlet red as she knelt in front of Teal'c. "I'm not a good enough cook to deserve such words," she whispered in his own language, as she began to wash the mighty Jaffa's feet.
"Be not alarmed," Teal'c gently assured. "Colonel Mitchell often brings up his grandmother in conversation whatever the occasion, but I'm certain that your meal will far exceed the praise."
"You are not foolish, Teal'c, so do not speak as though you are," she chided softly as she finished drying his feet.
"Hey, what's the deal?" Jack groused. "First, you make me introduce you to people you haven't met, and now you humiliated Teal'c before me!"
"Teal'c freed me from Amaunet, O'Neill. The least I should do for him is make him comfortable in my home, temporary though it is," Sha're answered as she yanked off the older man's socks. A deafening silence descended on the home as Sha're finished with O'Neill. "The only reason you get embarrassed is because you're ticklish, O'Neill," she added.
"You're still the bold lass with the flashing eyes and a too-honest tongue," Jack grinned.
"You're still the man who insists on using strange words and holding your gun too tight," she replied, kissing his cheek as she stood.
"Sha're you really don't have to—" Sam began stammering as the younger women knelt in front of her.
"Sam," Sha're interrupted. "This is the way my people honor those who journey far to see us. I think multiple journeys of life, death, and higher planes deserve to be honored. None of Dan'iyel's family had to come for me. According to the ways of the Tau'ri, I was just a memory. A sweet one perhaps, but nothing more. Now, I am the last of my people on this plane. I think I should honor my culture, even if it does seem strange to others."
"I'm sorry," Sam stuttered, embarrassed by trying to get out of the ritual.
"What for?" Sha're smiled. "I've always known I am very different from the women of your world," she stood and wrapped the golden-haired woman in a tight embrace. "I owe you all debts that can never be repaid," she whispered in Sam's ear.
"No, you don't, Sha're," Sam's voice hitched with emotion and she felt tears sting her eyes. 'We didn't save you,' she thought, remembering the dark days after Abydos, and again when Daniel remembered his wife after being exiled from the higher planes.
"I died free, Sam. You took care of him. That's all that matters," Sha're answered, moving on to Cam.
"Um, I'm sorry, Mrs. J— Sha're!" Cam yelped, feeling a hard pinch to his 'six.' He glared at Vala before continuing. "Something got caught in my boot and there's a nasty blister. You shouldn't bother."
Sha're shook her head. "Nonsense, Cam, the desert is very harsh, and blisters are common." Gently taking his injured foot in her right hand she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Cam gasped as her hand glowed releasing a warmth similar to a hot bath. In moments, the ugly sore healed leaving healthy skin behind. "You see," she smiled. "I am proud to serve you all."
"Holy Hanna!" Sam gasped.
"Daniel!" Jack snapped.
"No way… SHE KEPT HER POWERS!" McKay shouted.
"Why am I getting yelled at, Jack?" Daniel rolled his eyes.
"A woman needs every trick she can have," Vala grinned.
Sha're followed Teal'c's the three members of SGA-1's examples and ignored the outbursts. Once satisfied that Cameron's foot healed properly, she moved onto Vala. "I do so love a foot massage," Vala purred.
"I will give you one at the proper time, if you teach me how to color my toes in such a manner!" Sha're promised, enthralled at the other woman's sparkly silver pedicure.
"Oh, my darling, I am going to teach you everything I possibly can!" Vala squealed.
"Oh, my god…" Daniel moaned.
Just as Sha're opened her mouth to remind Daniel of his manners, the sound of a horn drifted into the tent. "Atticus has arrived, I must go to meet Eliz'a," she said. "Shifu, will you finish here?"
"Yes, mother," the boy smiled.
Turning to John she gave him a gentle pat on his shoulder. "All will be well if we keep fighting that which seeks to destroy us, be it an enemy or something inside ourselves."
Before he could reply she walked out of the tent so, he turned to Daniel, "Doc, I can honestly say she wasn't what I expected. Most ascended or pre-ascended women I've known are… how do I put it?"
"Full of themselves," Teyla suggested.
"Yeah that covers it," John agreed.
"Yet, you still slept with them," Rodney smirked.
"Yeah, we so needed to know that!" Jack scoffed. "Shut up, McKay!"
"Quiet, Jack, I'm trying to hear!" Daniel snapped.
John immediately bolted to Daniel's side at the entrance of the tent. "Elizabeth is at the boarders of the force field now," the archeologist said quietly. "Deep breaths, John."
"Welcome home, sister!" Sha're called out as she lowered the shield.
"The wind is starting to pick up I'm glad I got back now," Elizabeth answered, stepping through the shield.
Unable to hold back her feelings of joy at the events of the day Sha're threw her arms around Elizabeth. "SHIFU SENT DAN'IYEL TO US!" she shouted.
"He's here? Now? Sha're! Stop laughing and tell me!" Elizabeth gasped.
"Yes, yes, he is here with O'Neill and the others!" she cried out.
"Okay, obviously this is a good thing," Elizabeth chuckled. "However, if you don't calm down then you'll hyperventilate!"
"Yes," wrapping her arms around her middle to slow her breathing. "There is more," she choked out. "Your family has come as well: Colonel Sheppard, Doctor McKay, Teyla, and Ronan. They are here!"
Living under the desert sun had transformed Elizabeth's freckled skin into a light caramel tan, but at her friend's words she felt her blood turn to ice, leaving her skin pale and ashen. "You did throw a ladle of water in my face this morning correct?"
"Eliz'a, this is real!" Sha're insisted, taking Elizabeth's face in her hands to keep their eyes locked. "Has Sam, Daniel, Cam, Vala, or Shifu ever appeared in the dreams the machines gave you, or in your nightmares here?"
"No," she admitted, nearly choking on the word.
"They are all here. It is your choice to believe what you see, Eliz'a."
"What about what they see?" Elizabeth snapped, rubbing her temples to forestall the dull pain the throbbing behind his eyes. "The last time I saw them they saw a Replicator, not me; even though everything inside the F.R.A.N. shell, my emotions, my mind, everything that makes me what I am, was the same as it is now."
Sha're gently stroked her sister's cheek. "All I can tell you is that what they choose to believe is theirs alone but standing out here in a storm will not give you the answers you need."
"I don't want them to accept me because I have my old body back," she whispered.
"No, you do not want John to accept you because you now have your true form back," Sha're retorted. Elizabeth's mouth opened to deny it, shut it, and opened it again. "Eliz'a, I cannot tell you what to do, but we cannot stay here, and you cannot hide anymore."
"I want to go home," Elizabeth whispered, tears falling down her cheeks.
"First, we eat dinner, then we move on to the next step."
As Elizabeth stepped into the tent her eyes immediately landed on a small boy between eight and ten years old, washing John's feet. She'd only met Shifu in his non-corporeal form. She adored the sweet child who welcomed her back to her first moments of human existence. She tore her eyes away from him to lift her head covering off. "We've been waiting for you, Daniel," she said with a shaky smile.
Pain flooded John at the sound of her words. 'God, I'd rather let Todd feed on me again, and again!' his heart roared. Here before him stood Elizabeth in brighter glory than he'd ever seen. Her dark chestnut curls fell half-way down her back. The painful thinness brought on by overwork and stress had disappeared leaving only the soft gentle curves of her elegant body and face, making her look younger then she had when they first met. 'Then again, technically my body is nine-and-a-half years older now,' he thought, the bitter taste of adrenaline filling his mouth. She glowed with health, but he couldn't see her eyes. To hear her say she'd been waiting with Sha're for Daniel not anyone from earth, but Daniel made him physically sick. 'Be logical,' his brain argued. 'She knew we had no reason to ever go back for her, Daniel did.' His heart had another argument, 'You blew it, John!'
"It's always nice to be needed, Elizabeth," Daniel replied with a kind grin. "But I think you should be thanking your team for getting us here so fast."
Elizabeth bit down on her lip so hard that she worried she might draw blood but managed to force herself to speak. "They're not, 'my team,' anymore, they haven't been for a long time."
What little remained of John's control nearly snapped when suddenly Teyla came forward and greeted Elizabeth in the Athosian way. "We may not be under your command any longer, Elizabeth, but we most certainly are still your friends and family. Nothing has changed that!"
"We came as soon as the kid contacted us," Ronon added in what passed as a gentle tone for him.
"He even gave us fifteen Zed-P-M's, Elizabeth!" McKay chirped, invading her personal space. "That means we can all come back here and finish what we started! Oh, you probably don't know—"
"Atlantis is back on earth, I know Rodney," Elizabeth cut in. "Sha're found me a little over a year ago. It took seven months to recreate my human body, and we've lived the past six months here. We've been rather well informed thanks to Sha're's family in the higher planes, and an old friend of Doctor Jackson's, Ganus Lal."
"But did you know that the IOA is holding Atlantis hostage, and that they fired Woolsey today?" Rodney huffed.
Elizabeth's grew wide and she pursed her lips together at the unwelcome news. She whirled around to face Jack, her hands clenched into loose fists. "Do you know who's replacing Richard, General O'Neill?"
Jack rolled his eyes and on a whining pitch to break the building tension. "Hey, it's Jack to you, sister! You know I'd have thought you being a diplomat would have made you mind your manners. Sha're forced me to introduce everyone and even washed my feet! Can't I get a 'hi, it's great to see you?"
The younger woman felt her face grow hot as guilt kicked her in the stomach. "Of course," she whispered.
Sam came forward gently putting a hand on Elizabeth's shoulder. "I'm sure you must be overwhelmed, Doctor Weir. We all are, just take deep breaths and keep your eyes on the people they didn't use to hurt you."
"Thank you, Colonel Carter, I know you're one of the few people who can understand what happened to me," Elizabeth answered, letting out a huge sigh of relief.
"Shifu, have you finished tending to our families?" Sha're asked, ruffling her son's hair.
"All except father," he answered tossing, a wink to Daniel.
"I'll handle him. Greet Eliz'a and help her prepare for dinner."
"Yes, mother!" he skipped to Elizabeth and hugged her tightly. "This is the only time I'll ever get the chance to hug people again. I'm making the most of it."
"Oh, you're a charmer!" she laughed, crouching down to his level. "It's nice to see you in person. Thank you, for all you've done for me," she whispered, dropping a kiss on his forehead.
"I only did what was right," the boy answered solemnly. "I am looking forward to eating dinner, I haven't had opportunity to have one."
Despite the overwhelming sense of the world crashing down on her, Elizabeth laughed. "Okay, let's get things set up so your mother can feed us and not nag me like she usually does every night."
"I wouldn't have to if you'd just remember that breakfast isn't the only meal to the day! You're worse than Dan'iyel was when we first met," Sha're chided, kneeling in front of her husband.
"I eat dinner now," Daniel muttered, blushing like he hadn't done in eighteen years.
"Only when he's off-world, or when we drag him out of his dusty old office!" Vala objected, with a wicked smile.
"Which most of you do every night, so I eat dinner now!" Daniel stuttered as Sha're massaged his feet.
"I don't know Walter said you skipped three nights last week," Jack chuckled.
"He stayed behind while Teal'c, Vala, and I went to Cimmeria to help them set up a new irrigation system," Cam affirmed.
"SG-13, needed help with translating some ancient rocks," Vala grimaced. "What do you think they said? Just a lot of dull science stuff, not one hint of a tiny treasure."
"I can't believe that you have Walter spying on me!" Daniel sulked.
"Dan'iyel, if you splash me you'll not get one mouthful from my cooking pot," Sha're warned, lowering her eyes so he wouldn't see her heart in them.
"Some best friends they are, trying to get me on my wife's bad side before I can even ask if she still wants me!" he muttered in Ancient.
Sha're stopped breathing and her heart skipped a whole beat hearing his words. When she first laid eyes on him she'd come to life again, but he'd taught her his ways well. She knew that the Tau'ri wouldn't consider them married. They'd both 'died' according to his people she had no right to him at all. To hear him call her 'my wife' shattered the tenuous control she'd forced on her emotions. Before she could try to stop herself a flood of tears released from her heart.
Daniel felt Sha're's tears before anything. Water in the desert never felt cold unless drawn straight from the well or the water in the oases. Storing it in clay pots kept it from becoming lukewarm, but never cold. That's why when he felt hot drops hit the top of his foot leaving the sole feeling cool he knew they were tears. "Sha're, are you all right?" he whispered in Abydonian as his gut knotted itself in terror.
She quickly finished drying his feet and swallowed back the painful sobs lodged in her chest. She stood lifting the basin and started to move to the kitchen when Daniel reached for her arm and stopped her, repeating his question. She couldn't embarrass him with her worries and tears, so she raced out of the tent to dump the used water. She didn't realize Daniel followed until she turned and found him standing right behind her, his beautiful blue eyes clouded with worry. She felt her chin quivering so badly she worried she couldn't form the words she needed to speak. Pulling her shoulders back she held her head up high and forced her question out using his accursed English. "Am I truly your wife?"
Daniel blinked, wondering for a moment if he'd heard the question correctly. Abydonian custom didn't expressly forbid remarriage after the death of a spouse, but it wasn't considered a common practice either. Several reasons made it a rare option: first, the short life expectancy pre-Ra's defeat. The naquadah mines were a deadly trap, where both men and women routinely met an early death. The second reason came from the religious beliefs that the society still observed even though they had no love for Ra himself. Most people believed after death, they'd be reunited with their families in the afterlife. He knew for a fact, neither Sha're, Kasuf, nor Skaara clung fundamentally to the old ways, but if he knew Oma, and he did, he knew that she'd sown the seeds of pointing them all to ascension. The only real reason Kasuf insisted on performing the old rites for her burial had been politics. The final reason for neglecting remarriage hung on more practical concerns. Abydos, unlike the world Sha're had sought refuge on, didn't have many oases. With limited resources came a need for strict population control for most villages. On average, people spaced their children three or more years. Families rarely had more than three children each. People with children who remarried risked more children who could potentially drain needed resources. Sha're had bluntly informed him that he would be her only husband if he ever died, that one-and-only time she'd vented her full wrath on him. He couldn't understand why she felt the need to ask him such a question.
Shaking himself from his musings he looked at her feeling his heart flood with all the love he'd held onto so tightly for years and something new; something he couldn't name. She stood before him tall, strong, and proud, with tears drying on her face. Her eyes still burned with life, passion, and the righteousness he'd always known, but beyond that he saw something else. He saw that if he told her 'no' she could accept it and thrive. She loved him, that hadn't changed. He could feel it deep within a place where reason, logic, even instinct couldn't reach. He knew she loved him in the same way he knew he knew the difference between male and female; he could also feel the change in it. Before, she'd loved him in a way she couldn't let him go. Now, she could let him go because she loved him that much more. The weight of fear that had settled in his mind since being told she lived evaporated like mist. For hours, a whisper in his skull kept taunting him. 'After eighteen years how can you believe a marriage will work? You've changed, SHE'S changed! You can never have what you had on Abydos again.' For hours, he'd searched his heart for an answer that would silence the whisper in his mind. Now, he had it. 'I don't want what I had on Abydos. I want Sha're as she is now! We started out blind the first time and it worked. At least now we have a foundation to work from.'
"Yes," he affirmed.
One word and the walls carefully constructed to keep her mind and heart from collapsing under the incredible strain of oppression, loneliness, and torture over the years crumbled. Every moment of pain, fear, and devastation flooded her mind, along with overwhelming relief. Her long nightmare had finally ended. "My Dan'iyel," she sobbed, falling into his arms.
"I'm here, I'm here," he whispered, pressing kisses in her hair. "Shush, my love, you're making yourself sick," he pleaded, as her body convulsed against his. "It's over, sweetheart. You don't have to be so brave anymore, but you have to calm yourself."
"I- I- I-" she sputtered, trying to speak but the tears kept flowing.
"Shush, just breathe," he answered, rubbing long strokes up and down her back.
"Hey, do you think we should do something?" Cam asked, frowning at the sounds of distress coming from outside.
"Idiot," Vala snapped, punching his shoulder. "Leave them be. After eighteen years I think that they're entitled to a grand display of emotion in relative privacy!"
Cam grunted in pain. "Okay, listen, hitting people when not in self-defense is wrong! If I had done the same thing to you, there'd be outcry of battery and assault," he growled. "Well, let me tell you something, missy," he snapped, glaring hotly into her eyes. "What's good for the goose is good for the gander! If you hit me again, I hit you back. Since you don't want me doing that, we'll call a spade, a spade, and from now on, nobody hits anyone, unless under the influence of an evil alien."
"How long have you been waiting to say that?" Vala giggled.
"Too long!" he snapped.
John reluctantly tore his gaze from Elizabeth and Shifu puttering around the cooking area of the tent. "The ladies on your team must be using you for their personal punching bag, hey Cam?" he teased.
"Shut it, Sheppard!" Cam, sulked.
"Man, I don't see how getting beat up by two beautiful women is a bad thing," Ronan shrugged.
"Did you not hear what I said? I… CAN'T… HIT… BACK!" Cam enunciated, jabbing his finger with each word. "This ain't a sparring match, Ronon. This is just them hittin' me. Now, I know guys who are into that sort of thing, and I don't judge. It's just not my thing."
"Your loss," Ronon shrugged.
Shifu giggled at the antics of the 'adults' in the main living area. "You must be happy to have your family back, Doctor Weir," he said, gathering the cups they needed.
"You should call me Elizabeth, Shifu. After all, without you I'd still be floating out in space as a Replicator," she replied, gathering the bowls.
Shifu sighed, worried about Elizabeth's lack of reaction to being reunited with her family. "You are not happy?" the boy asked.
"I am," she assured. "It's just that I'm not entirely certain this isn't a dream. If it isn't, my return will be much more difficult than your mother's. There's a lot to consider, and I wasn't prepared for it."
"If I could have offered some advanced warning for you, I would have."
Elizabeth flinched hearing the uncertainty and faint guilt in his soft voice. "Hey, listen to me," she ordered, guiding him back into the main room. "You've done a wonderful thing, and you did it the only way you could. I'll always be grateful." Turning her attention to the group she pasted on her best 'diplomatic smile.' "Alright, people, if you'll just gather your gear into a corner we'll set up the trays."
Teyla smiled. "Can we assist in any way?" she asked.
"No, thank you, Teyla. Shifu and I know our jobs," she answered, ignoring the scowl John tried so valiantly to hold back from appearing on his face.
'This reunion might be worse than the last one,' the tactical voice in John Sheppard's mind rumbled. 'How? Last time she gated herself into space, and you didn't even try to stop her!' his heart responded. "Her choice," he reminded himself, whispering under his breath and hoping Ronan and Teal'c were the only people who may hear him. At least they'd mind their own business. "I protected Atlantis. That's what she wanted." 'Then why do you feel like crap right now?' his conscience accused.
Elizabeth and Shifu finished laying out the trays, bowls, and cups. Going through the motions she felt John's stare never wavering from her; its oppressive weight making her skin feel far too tight. She knew that stare well, he used it when assessing a threat. It felt like nothing had changed since the last moment before she stepped through the gate. 'Well, you didn't want him to accept you back for your human body,' her voice of reason reminded her. She tried very hard to hang on to that voice, because it held everything she had once been inside of her. Unfortunately, those fateful words uttered by the one person she'd trusted above all others threatened to destroy her hope once more. 'You may think you're still Elizabeth Weir, but you're not!' If John didn't believe she was the 'real' Elizabeth Weir, how could she expect anyone else to believe it?
A deafening roar exploded in their ears as the storm hit. Teyla covered her ears, pale with fear. "I have never heard such a noise before," her voice shook with terror.
Elizabeth rushed to her friend gently taking her hands in hers. "The shield will keep us safe, Teyla. We've had storms like this since we arrived, there's never been any danger."
"Doctor Weir, how did you get the shields?" Sam asked, unable to hold back her confusion and curiosity any longer.
"I'm not, 'Doctor Weir,' here, Colonel Carter," she whispered. "Elizabeth is fine, it's what everyone but Sha're calls me."
A bittersweet smile pulled at Sam's lips. The fragile, frightened woman before her, bore little resemblance to the savvy, confident leader she'd once threatened to save Jack's life. "Elizabeth it is then," she said brightly. "Call me Sam."
"Alright, Sam," she agreed, feeling the aching knot inside her stomach loosen just a little. "Sha're built the shield generator from memories she had of both Goa'uld, and Ancient designs."
Sam's eyes bulged out in shock. "Wow!" she gasped.
"That surprises you?" Elizabeth asked, arching her eyebrow in that special way she had to ferret out the truth from someone.
"A little," Sam admitted. "Abydos, wasn't a technologically advanced culture. Even with memories I can't imagine how difficult it must have been to put the generators together without a background in engineering."
"Difficult?" McKay scoffed with distain. "It's amazing Mrs. Jackson didn't blow herself, and you, Elizabeth, to kingdom come!"
"McKay!" Daniel groaned, as he re-entered the tent, gripping his wife's hand.
"Look, I'm sorry, but without proper training the danger of working with anything that requires the amount of power to protect us from this storm is insanely dangerous and stupid!"
"Doctor McKay, you are absolutely correct," Sha're agreed, giving the flustered scientist a gentle smile.
"Sha're," Daniel sighed, squeezing her hand.
"No, Dani'yel. He is correct, I am not a scientist. What I did was dangerous. Even now, I could not explain how the generators or anything else I made from my memories work. I only know what they are and that they do what I wish them to do," she insisted. Turning her attention back to the group and wrapping her arm around her son she continued. "The food is ready and we all should eat. Tomorrow we will need our strength. While we eat, Eliz'a and I will answer any questions you all must ask."
Rodney stood with his mouth hanging open, gaping at the young women bustling around bringing food to the eating area. Normally, his lack of tact didn't bother him too much. He almost never had time to reflect on how he talked to people. When he did, they certainly never found his harsh words justified. Sha're Jackson made him feel uneasy with her smiles and soft words. Watching Elizabeth sent chills down his spine, she'd shown almost no interest in their arrival. She barely looked at John or Ronan, and the only spark of life she'd shown centered on the boy. He wanted to get back to Atlantis. Once there, Elizabeth would feel better. He had to believe that, the idea that she wouldn't be the same made him sick. 'I should have never re-activated the nanites,' his conscience chided. Death would have been better than everything she'd been forced to endure since his rash choice. Seeing her help lay out food for them as if she'd never led the greatest expedition earth had ever known made his stomach roll in revolt.
"Stop sulking, Rodney," John growled softly into his ear.
"She's a shadow, Sheppard!" McKay hissed, trying to keep his voice low.
"She didn't expect to see us any more than we expected to see her today," John answered.
"Who are you trying to convince, me or yourself, John?" Rodney challenged.
"Alright, gentlemen let's sit down and eat before the food gets cold," Jack chirped, slapping each younger man on the shoulder. Leaning in closer he whispered. "There's a time and a place for this discussion, but it's not here or now."
"Yes, sir," John replied.
Rodney just nodded, knowing that antagonizing O'Neill would only bring trouble. The three men joined the group in the center of the tent as Sha're and Elizabeth carried the huge pot with a pole threaded through two loops on either side. "I just heard Eliz'a's stomach roar," Sha're giggled. "I do not know if the meal will be as pleasant as Cam's grandmother's cooking, but if it makes Eliz'a hungry I know it is good."
Elizabeth blushed as red as the shirts she once wore on Atlantis. "Keep that up and I'll tell some stories about you," she muttered, giving the other woman a dirty look.
Sha're rolled her eyes as they set their burden on the sandy floor. "Explain to our family what we're eating," she commanded, forcing her dear sister to interact more with the group.
Elizabeth looked around the seated group marveling at the truth of the old saying, 'the more things change, the more they stay the same.' Sha're, Daniel, and Shifu sat closely together soaking up the happiness that each quietly radiated. The members of SG-1 crowded on Daniel's side, split in two pairs with Teal'c in the center. SGA-1 made her ache with bittersweet joy that they'd remained as close as ever. Teyla and Ronon both flanked Rodney, both to support him and to ensure his proper behavior. John... her heart seized as she let her eyes rest on him for more than a moment. He held himself just a little bit apart from the others, but not enough to be noticed to anyone who didn't know him well. 'Do you still have the right to think you know him when he doesn't believe you're really Elizabeth Weir?' her wounded heart asked. A chill danced over her skin that had nothing to do with the air.
She swallowed the lump in her throat and imagined making a speech at one of the tens-of-thousands of diplomatic dinners she'd attended. "In the pot we've got a meat stew. The Aridusians have a domesticated animal called an Ovris sort of like a large ram. The meat takes like a cross between Kobe beef, pork, and lamb."
"Holy cow, that sounds fantastic!" Cam exclaimed.
"It is," Elizabeth answered with a small smile.
"The fluffy stuff looks like couscous, sort of," Rodney remarked, casting a wary eye on the black grain-like substance in a smaller bowl.
Elizabeth felt her nerves ease with Rodney's familiar quirks. "Don't worry, Rodney, there's no citrus on this planet," she assured him with a wink. "It's called Kasip, its actually the seeds of the fruit that grows on the native cactus plants here. It actually tastes like a sweeter version of barley."
"Is the white stuff like yogurt or crème?" Sam asked.
"A little. I find it more like buttermilk with less tang," Elizabeth answered.
"Eliz'a made the bread this morning!" Sha're interjected with a proud gleam in her eye.
"Enough talking let's eat!" Vala demanded. She felt Cameron's glare on the back of her neck and quickly changed tactics. "Not that the bread doesn't look delicious, Doctor Weir. I never could cook."
"According to Sha're I still can't!" Elizabeth retorted, with a smirk. "It's supposed to taste a little like pita with the texture of naan, but mine is a little firmer than it should be."
"I have a question," Shifu piped up, his eyes glittering with excitement. "How do I eat it?"
The look of utter devastation and agony that passed over Sha're's face caused everyone even Ronon and Teal'c to flinch. Quickly forcing a smile on her face, the young woman kissed her son and ruffled his hair. "Let me serve your elders, and then I will show you how to eat it, my Sunbeam!"
Elizabeth blinked back her tears of empathy for her friend and helped serve the food. She piled food on the platters and bowls, passing gigantic portions for Ronon, and adding extra Kasip for Rodney remembering his sweet tooth. Teyla smiled when she passed her, her tray, and she found herself smiling easily in return. John reached out as she pushed his tray toward him forcing her to meet his eyes. Longing and grief cut through her as their eyes locked. The fine lines around his eyes had grown slightly deeper, she could see tiny silver hairs just beginning to encroach into his temples. The memory of how he'd aged the first time Koyla's captured Wraith had fed on him flashed before her eyes. 'Stop it!' the voice that still sounded like the strong leader she had been commanded. 'It's been five years since you last saw him, of course he's aged. He looks strong and healthy, nothing at all like a man who's been fed on.' His eyes once so familiar and easy to read were closed off to her and it felt like a physical blow. 'Will nothing convince him I am Elizabeth?' her heart screamed. 'Start acting like her,' the voice answered.
"Now, pay attention because if you do not you will burn your fingers, Shifu," Sha're instructed. "First you tear a piece of bread like this," she demonstrated tearing a bite sized piece from her own tray. "It must be big enough to hold your food, but small enough to fit in your mouth without making a mess. This is good manners, something your uncle Skaara never understood," she added, wrinkling her nose in mock disgust.
Shifu giggled and Daniel burst into laughter. "I will mind my manners, mother," the boy assured.
"Hey, let's not pick on the kid when he's not here to defend himself!" Jack objected.
"Oh, Jack it's not like you're much better," Daniel teased with a wink to Sam.
"He's got a point, sir," Sam agreed with her brightest smile.
"Et tu, Carter?" Jack sighed. "I think my heart is broken," he whined, placing his hand over his heart.
"Your uncle is O'Neill's favorite," Sha're continued affection filling her voice. "Now, first you dip the bread into the stew, but be careful not to soak it so much it burns. Then if you want you eat it, or you dip a tiny bit into the kasip and lacinus. Once you have all that you want you eat!" she finished, holding out her hand for him to taste.
Shifu gently ate the bite from his mother's fingers. As the flavors exploded in his mouth the sensation of the new experience overwhelmed his mind and senses. He chewed slowly, afraid to miss an instant of the euphoric bliss that would be denied for him before daybreak came. After he swallowed he realized that his eyes had fallen shut. When he opened them, he saw his mother fighting tears and her bottom lip quivering under her teeth. She gripped Daniel's hand hard enough to turn both his and her knuckles white. Daniel's eyes held more pronounced shadows of pain and grief. He understood, the others would call for him soon, much too soon. He leaned forward touching his forehead to his mother's and entangling his smaller hand with their entwined ones. The others gasped as he began glowing, pouring reassurance, love, and contentment into his parents. "God, grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change. The courage to change what things we can. And the wisdom to know the difference," he said softly as the energy he gave slowly dissipated.
"Amen," Daniel whispered.
Sha're kissed his dimpled cheek and sighed. "Eat now, I'll not let you leave me without a full stomach."
"Yes, mother," he answered with the same crooked half-smile Daniel used on Jack when he humored him.
The meal progressed without much conversation as they all enjoyed themselves. The men all dug in with gusto; even Rodney conceding that his beloved MRE's couldn't approach the deliciousness of the meal. The woman watched with varying levels of bemusement as seconds and thirds were requested, but any snickering on Vala's part ended when she lunged for the last of the kasip before Ronon or Teal'c could stake their claims. When all had eaten their fill, John felt the need to ask a few of the questions that still buzzed around his overstimulated mind.
Carefully avoiding Elizabeth's eyes, he kept his voice calm and neutral. "May I ask what happened to the other Replicators?"
Sha're's forehead crinkled in a frown at the question. "They no longer exist as machines, Colonel. Why do you ask? They are of no importance to you now that Atlantis is on earth."
Elizabeth answered before John could. "John wants to tell you that the Tau'ri are just curious, but he doesn't know you well enough to know you'll see through that answer. He needs to ask the question because they first found Atlantis because of me. I might not have known the location they moved the city to when they re-activated my nanites, but anyone who knows me well enough would know I could probably figure out where Atlantis is given enough time. He's worried my compassion might compel me to help them again now that I'm flesh and blood."
John felt a hot spike of irritation stab him as Elizabeth acted like she considered him a reluctant ally. He'd seen her in full-on 'diplomat' mode with men like Ladon Radim. "I won't deny that. I just thought it might be impolite to put it that way right after dinner," he retorted. His voice taking on the edge it often did when they disagreed.
A cold smile formed on Elizabeth's lips when he rose to her bait. "How gentlemanly of you, Colonel! That certainly is a big change in the past five years."
He returned her cold smile and leaned back supporting his weight on his hands. "Well, once I made Full Bird Colonel, they made me start using my manners."
As much as she resented being assessed as a potential threat again, Elizabeth couldn't smother the pride that welled up inside her heart. She'd known he was a born leader from the moment they'd met, and to hear that he'd continued to advance and thrive in the career he loved made her feel unspeakably relieved. "Congratulations, John. I know you deserve it and much more," she said softly, dropping her guard long enough to let the others see her sincerity.
The moment didn't last nearly long enough for John, but he forced himself to put aside the conflicting riot of feelings stirring in his gut. He had to look at the situation as a soldier, not a man. The consciousness in the F.R.A.N body had deliberately exposed Atlantis to a lethal threat. The Elizabeth Weir he knew, the Elizabeth he'd given his complete and unconditional loyalty to ('where was the loyalty when you sided against her about the first strike that started this disaster?') the Elizabeth he could communicate to with a mere glance, would have never done such a thing, even if it meant sacrificing her life. 'Which she did by gating herself out in space!' his heart inconveniently shouted to the soldier. 'After she brought the threat to Atlantis!' the soldier fought back. 'She never told anyone what made her do it,' his gut squirmed at the whining tone his heart voiced inside his head. Unfortunately, the soldier had no rebuttal.
"To be fair, Elizabeth," Jack drawled with his most charming grin. "If Sheppard hadn't asked, I would have. I think you understand why the situation merits concern."
Elizabeth nodded to acknowledge his point. "Of course, and I'm well aware that you have no reason to trust that I am 'real' again."
Jack straightened, pulling his body into as dignified a position as one could sitting on a rug laid out on sand. "I wouldn't say that. I trust Sha're and Shifu. Granted, I'm not that keen on the glow-club, but I fully admit the few rule breakers I've met had good intentions if nothing else. If Sha're and Shifu say you're human, I take their word for it."
The corners of her lips turned up into an almost smile. "I believe you. Underneath the uniform you're completely willing to accept I am who Sha're says I am, but you are wearing a uniform, General O'Neill, and that's why Colonel Carter and Rodney keep trying to scan me. Unfortunately for them, the storm is creating too much interference to get any readings."
"Well, so much for being subtle," Rodney whined.
"Don't worry, Rodney, you're no less subtle than Ronon has been with keeping his gun trained on me," she answered.
"It's set on stun," Ronon shrugged.
The Satedian warrior's bluntness made her chuckle. "Thank you for that, Ronan."
"You do realize that if my son and I have deceived you, and if Eliz'a still possessed the machines in her blood, your weapons would have no value," she challenged, glaring at this stranger who appeared to be challenging their honor.
"Sha're, I promise you, they have an ARG with them. It isn't that they don't want to trust you, or Shifu. I told you when I stepped through that gate that I left Atlantis because they could not trust me, nor could I trust myself. I'm was a threat and having my own face again doesn't erase that for my people," Elizabeth stated.
Sha're's dark eyes blazed with indignation and she bolted to her feet. "Shifu, come help me with the rest of the chores."
"Yes, mother," the boy answered. He stood and began gathering the empty trays from his companions. Leaning down to Daniel's ear he whispered. "I think mother is angry."
Daniel repressed a grin. "Don't worry. I'll handle it later."
