'Something the matter?'
'I...I just can't take it any more. They are just so angry with each and they're not getting along. Not to mention what happen recently with Iggy.' A small pause 'I just want them to be happy...but at the same time I'm so angry. I don't like that they aren't getting along...I thought that intervening would help but...I think I only made things worse.'
'You've done no such thing.'
'I have! I thought that if I gave signs that I was there they would find peace, but I only made things worse.'
Another pause.
'I wish I could talk to them.'
'Well, we can help you with that if you want.'
'You can? Please let me talk to them!'
Ignis stirs blinking a bit against the sun's rays that spill into the room he wasn't fully awake just yet for the clutches of sleep still had her hooks in him. He blinks a bit despite the thick fog that lingers in his brain he knows he's comfortable, he knows he's warm, and with those those two winning points Ignis closes his eyes again.
He snuggles deeper into the blankets and hugs Barkley closer to his chest, with a sigh Ignis focuses on his breathing. It was easy to do for it was quiet in the room leaving him to assume the others left him alone. He was used to be being alone so it didn't bother him in the least, besides he has Barkley to keep him company and he was enough.
Ignis yawns softly before burying his nose into Barkley's neck. He'll sleep for just a few more minutes then he'll get up and face the world.
When Ignis woke up for a second time he simply lays there staring with blurry unfocused eyes. He can hear voices downstairs but he couldn't make out what was being said but part of him feels like they were talking about him. He knows it'll take a great amount of effort but he was willing to go and try and interact with his friends for he wants them to know he cares about them but at the same time he was afraid of how they will react to the news about him trying to kill himself.
Ignis sighs for he was also half tempted to just lay there a bit longer he even feels his eyelids drooping. He could feel himself starting to fall back asleep when something woke him up making him frown.
He hated the idea of getting up but he needed to pee. He huffs cursing the basic human need as he pushes himself up into a sitting position. He could that his body was heavy and that he was still exhausted from the lack of sleep. He sits there for a moment longer needing to gather his strength once more, letting out another sigh he pushes himself forward until his feet touch the floorboards.
Ignis stands stretching for a bit before moving towards the attached bathroom. His movements were slow and shaky and with every step he could feel just how stiff he was. Entering the bathroom Ignis didn't bother with the light for they have a large window several inches above the toilet which allowed sunlight to light up the room. Speaking of the window he never enjoyed using this bathroom in the morning for the others, when they were outside, could see him standing there. And it wasn't just him, Gladiolus too. And it was always embarrassing especially when he's spotted by Gladiolus or Noctis who loved making comments.
But right now it was okay for they were all in the house.
When Ignis finished and washed his hands, he found himself staring at his reflection. He has his hair completely down and his glasses were gone from his face. He hadn't worn them since the night the cabinet fell and part of him thinks that they are lost for he can't seem to find them anywhere.
Ignis lifts a hand to his face touching his eye. The under his eyes were puffy, red, with heavy dark circles under them reminding himself of a raccoon who has been crying.
He also noticed that he looks how he feels. Worn out, like he was brought back from the brink of death. Ignis sighs as he looks away from the mirror when he begins to feel tempted to examine his neck. Shaking his head Ignis moves to the dresser where his clothes were stored and pulls out a plain green tee shirt and a pair of baggy tan jeans.
Turning on his heels, Ignis looks at the nightstand where his glasses lay. Biting his lip he picks them up and unfolds the arms before putting them on. The eyewear feels heavy and uncomfortable on his nose from the lack of use making him feel like his nose was being pressed closed. He knew that wearing them again would make him used to feeling once more but at the same time he didn't want them. His eyesight wasn't to bad without them save for the fact he was farsighted. After a moment or so Ignis takes them off seeing no point in wearing them when he wasn't going fix himself up.
With a heavy sigh Ignis begins to move towards the door and exits the room. He isn't in the mood to be around others and act social just yet but at the same time he didn't want to be alone and he longed to thank Gladiolus for the medicine that allowed him to sleep and for also listening to his plight. Though his heart still feels heavy he isn't at that desperate level anymore.
Walking down the stairs he can see the others at the table talking. It sounded like they were talking about what to have for lunch but then again from where he stood and their hushed whispers he couldn't be sure, he know however that he hoped that they weren't talking about him and his 'moment'.
Gladiolus was the first to spot him. With a wave in his direction, Ignis joins them and sits with the others.
At first no one said anything to him making Ignis feel like it was a mistake coming down. The look on Cor and Iris's face was that of disappointment while Talcott and Noctis couldn't even look at him.
As for Dustin and Monica, they looked furious.
No one said anything making Ignis feel uncomfortable and unwelcome.
Ignis opens his mouth to speak but he is beat by Monica slamming her hands onto the table silencing him. Ignis bunches up his shoulders as his head hangs and his gaze goes elsewhere, he couldn't help but be reminded of the times he was reprimanded by King Regis and his uncle as a small boy.
"How could you-" Monica shakes her head "What's wrong with you!?" She screams angrily.
"How do think it will look on the kingdom if the King's advisor. The man who is supposed to be the level headed one, the one who thinks clearly, the one who he is supposed to count on, trust, and go to for advice if he kills himself!? How will that look!? If you can't handle this job perhaps you should quit." Dustin snaps.
Ignis only quakes as he wipes at his eyes sniffing.
"Why did you do it Ignis?" Iris asks softly "I...just never- you seem like the type that would..." she falls silent shaking her.
Ignis doesn't know how to respond, what was he supposed to say?
He shakes his head "So you don't have an answer? You ain't gonna tell us why you tried to kill yourself. We just supposed to act like that never happened?" Noctis says sounding frustrated.
Ignis only shakes and when he speaks his voice is tight "It's not that I can't handle my job" Ignis says softly "its not that at all." He whispers.
"Then what is it? What could it possibly be?"
Ignis bites his lip, he could feel himself shutting down, and Gladiolus could see it on his friend's face that he was wishing he stayed upstairs.
Not liking how this was going Gladiolus speaks up "This ain't what we practiced. I told you guys to not attack him." Gladiolus looks at Ignis who was frowning.
"Listen, Iggy...we're here for you. I'm here for you."
"I know..."
"Ignis, maybe you should try getting out more." Dustin says "It's always beautiful out here.:
Ignis wasn't sure how to respond, he wasn't going to deny that Caem was beautiful because it was but he just didn't see it that way in his current mood. "I want to get out and be around you lot, but...I just don't feel like it. I haven't the strength...the energy...nor am I emotionally prepared for what is to come...I just. I just feel like its best to just lay down." He admits. He was being honest, he just can't handle all of this in his current state.
"This all sounds like it's in your head. You are stronger than this Ignis. I seen you in action back when I would visit the Citadel. You were constantly on top of everything, never missing a beat. You would never let a little hurt feelings slow you down." Monica says crossing her arms "You need to think about how this is affecting Noctis." Dustin adds on.
Ignis looks at Monica and then to Dustin, yet the look on his face was that of betrayal and hurt. He has always taken Noctis' feelings into consideration even as a small boy Ignis would consider Noctis' feelings which often left him giving up various items he wanted or loved just because he feared hurting Noctis' feelings.
"I have always considered Noct's feelings. I'm sorry I'm feeling sad but am I not allowed to grieve for my best friend? I loved Prompto just as much as he did but- why am I the one called out for acting out in grief?" Ignis cries out he starting to shake out of anger.
"He wasn't the one trying to kill himself! You are a coward if you choose that. And if you can't handle something as a little sadness you have no business being in politics or the King's advisor." Monica says her voice cross.
Noctis looks over at Monica his eyes holding something akin to disbelief. He looks over at Ignis and the look on his face was one he never seen on his brothers' face, but only on Prompto's. To be more exact when he was pouring his heart and soul out to his best friend a moment that Noctis knows Ignis hadn't seen.
Back during that time it hurt the King to Prompto looking sad and vulnerable, but now seeing Ignis looking the same way with how he held head down and the slight curl of his back and the tremble of his shoulders. It all angered Noctis. He watches the change in Ignis focusing on the telltale signs that what was being said was upsetting him.
From where he is sitting he could see Ignis' ears turning bright red.
This makes Noctis grit his teeth and clench his fists. He knows he is still angry at Ignis but that doesn't change the fact he still cares about him and to hear someone putting him down was filling him with rage.
But before he could voice his thoughts Cor stands up and places his hand on Ignis' shoulder "Let's go for a walk." He says softly getting Ignis to stand and follow after him quietly.
So naturally he didn't hear Noctis defend him.
Cor leads Ignis from the house, their steps in sync as neither say a word to one another. Cor looks over at Ignis and he is reminded of Prompto. The way he slowly drags his feet or kicks a small rock.
Prompto stumbles out of the training ground his eyes downcast as he follows three other trainees out of the gate.
'Man did you see that new guy? Talk about a real screw up.'
'I heard Cor hand picked him. I guess Regis is desperate for people to protect the Prince.'
'Tsk. I heard its because Prince Noctis is friends with him. Just wants his friend around I guess...kinda stupid move on his part.'
Prompto looks at them before looking away. He sighs, he knows that he isn't as good as the others. He knows that his aim is off and that he can't yet shoot anything that looks remotely like a living thing. He sighs as he rounds the corner 'Who am I kidding? Noct should go with someone more qualified like Tidus or something. Do they really need a gunmen?'
Dragging his feet Prompto didn't see nor did he hear Cor call out to him. Only when he rounds the corner did he see him.
'Prompto, how did it go?' Cor asks.
'Eh...it could've gone better.' Prompto says his voice shaking a bit.
'How so?' Cor asks looking curiously over at Prompto who shrugs. This makes Cor nod a bit 'I take it someone said something.'
Prompto frowns shaking his head.
'You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. But know I'm here for you if you need to vent or talk.'
'I know...'
Cor looks over to the blonde nodding. He knows that something is up and he was wanting to make him feel better for he couldn't bear the idea that Prompto was feeling upset. With that Cor places a hand on Prompto's back 'Follow me, I'll cheer you up.'
He leads the young gunmen in training to an ice cream parlor where he gets him a banana sundae.
The frozen treat having done the trick.
Cor smiles a bit at the memory turning he faces Ignis "How about I take you somewhere to cheer you up?" He suggests getting Ignis to look up at him.
"I doubt that there is anything that can make me feel better?"
"Don't be so quick to assume things. You'll be surprised, once you're in the moment you may start feeling better."
Ignis shrugs as he follows after the Immortal to the Regalia.
Cor opens the door and allows the younger male to enter the car. Cor climbs into the driver side of the Regalia and starts it up, pulling onto the road the Immortal heads to the one spot he hopes will bring a smile to Ignis's face.
They ride in silence for a good thirty minuets before Cor looks over to the younger boy. Ignis sat slouch in his seat with his head in his hands shaking slightly. Cor returns his eyes to the road "You look different with your hair down and glasses off."
Ignis doesn't respond.
Cor nods having patience with Ignis, he simply turns the radio on allowing it to play not caring what it was for he didn't want Ignis to feel awkward or pressured into talking.
When they arrive at the location Ignis still had his head down and his eyes closed. Even when Cor turned off the engine he didn't budge. Seeing how Ignis wasn't aware of the fact that they had stopped Cor reaches over and lays a hand on his shoulder gently squeezing it.
This gets Ignis to look up at him.
Like this Cor can see just how red Ignis's face was. He could also see that his eyes are bloodshot making his green irises stand out more. It was painfully obvious that Ignis was suffering.
Now Cor wasn't dissmising Noctis' or Gladiolus' grief but out of the three of them Ignis was the one screaming out to him. And two the way Monica and Dustin had tossed his feelings to the wind Cor knew was weighing on his mind and the fear that Ignis may try to hurt himself was a possibility to the older man.
And he didn't want to take any chances.
Ignis sat staring at him for a heartbeat longer before looking away. "Come, follow me." Cor says climbing out of the car.
Ignis doesn't say anything in protest as climbs out of the car. He was honestly afraid to speak for he wasn't sure how Cor was going to react. It honestly scared him because Cor might react the same way Monica and Dustin had and seeing that he was alone with the man Cor may not hold back on the tongue-lashing that he may feel Ignis deserves.
So Ignis thought it was best to pretend that he was invisible. He knows it was childish but he hoped that if he stayed quiet the whole 'out of sight out mind' would apply to him.
"Ignis come on."
It wasn't working.
Ignis shuffles along as his mind fills with the many possibilities of lectures that Cor could be thinking of.
The fear he was feeling mixing with the anxiety he had leftover from that mornings lecture was making his stomach cramp up leaving him feeling nauseous.
Ignis reaches Cor's side his eyes elsewhere as if looking at the Immortal would prompt a conversation he wasn't looking forward too. So when Cor lays a hand on his back sending a blossom of warmth and reassurance through Ignis.
The young tactician shudders slightly his mind still unsettled. As he couldn't help but assume that Cor was blessing him with false hope and reassurance.
"Come on now Ignis, try to relax at least a little. Look I didn't bring you here to make you feel worse, I did say I was gonna take you somewhere to make you feel better didn't I." Cor says not looking at the other. "Now, what is your favorite flavor of ice cream?"
Ice cream?
Ignis looks up only to see a large pink display menu with a red boarder. It had a curly black font with many pictures of toppings and sizes along with a added drop down listing a flavor of the month which was 'Cactuar'. Which was more or less a pickle in watermelon ice cream.
"I..." Ignis starts he hadn't expected Cor to take him for ice cream. Honestly Ignis didn't think he deserved the frozen treat with how he was feeling.
Cor looks at him curiously with a raised eyebrow "You do have a favorite flavor, right?"
Ignis shrugs "I've never really had the chance to experiment with other flavors outside of chocolate."
Nodding Cor gets an idea, he'd surprise Ignis with one. "Well how about I get you a chocolate one and you go sit down. I'll be there with you in a second."
Ignis doesn't argue as he makes his way to the back of the parlor with booths lining the wall. He slides into the side of the booth and crosses his arms over the wobbly table and lowers his head into his arms. He was certain that Cor was going to unleash maelstrom of lectures onto him along with the whole 'What would your uncle think'. And to be honest Ignis knew he couldn't handle that.
Ignis was so caught up in his thoughts that he hadn't heard the soft click of the tray that Cor had brought nor did he hear his voice when he felt something lightly thump against his head did Ignis look up. The first thing he saw was a boat shaped waffle cone with two scoops of chocolate ice cream, toasted marshmallows and gramham cracker pieces sprinkled on top, and chocolate syrup drizzle in front of him.
Confused, Ignis looks at the man as he sets down a cup of broken chocolate bar next to the ice cream.
"Marshal?"
"Eat up." Cor says handing Ignis a spoon.
"But..."
"I used to take Prompto here when he was upset or having a bad day. It would always bring a smile to his face, after several helpings of Boat o S'mors he'd be back to normal...I figured you could use something to bring a smile to your face. Everyone needs a pick me up."
Ignis frowns "But I-"
"I know what you did. And unlike them I'm not big on lectures. If I see something that I am able to fix I'm gonna do what I can to make it right. Right now you don't need someone screaming at you. You need a gentle touch, a shoulder to cry on, someone to chase away the darkness that is weighing in your heart and mind." Cor explains as he pulls out napkins from the dispenser "What they were doing wasn't going to work. They had hoped that by telling all that they were trying to for a lack of better words wake you up snap you out of your depression. When in reality they only made you made you feel worse, right?"
Ignis nods.
"The approach they needed to take was this one. Sitting you down and talking with you in a clean positive atmosphere. That house only has negative energy. And when they talk they can't scream at you nor put you down because you already feel like the world is against you."
Ignis refuses to say anything for Cor was hitting the thoughts and feelings he was feeling on the head.
"And Noctis wasn't making things better either was he?"
Ignis shakes his head.
"People are odd things. We are the only creatures in the world that can talk, we feed and thrive off of one another and yet at the same time we don't hesitate to hate one or disown, mistreat, and even kill one another. For a species so advance and dependant on each other we sure do know how to mistreat one another. And royalty is no exception." Cor gestures for Ignis to eat and he does, taking small bites here and there.
"We throw the title 'royalty' onto a family and we think they are special, that they can do no wrong. Yet they are still people. Noctis is the obvious example here. You known him since you both were little, you two grew up together and are basically brothers yet, he still has his flaws. He even hurt you. And in his anger he said things that had driven you to that place, to go to that mindset where you became desperate to heal and be free of the nastiness that Noctis was spouting. He, who claims that he loves you made you pick suicide."
Ignis was finding it hard to swallow down the frozen treat due to the burning in his throat. He wasn't sure if Cor's goal was to make him cry or not but if it was he was doing a good job at it.
"I know how the others reacted. Please understand that they were just upset and scared. They were just scared of losing you, though they could've went about it in a different way. But know this, they love you. Gladio and Noct love you, it may not feel like it right now but Noctis cares deeply for you. You know Gladiolus loves you, he gave you something that will help you sleep and he gave you that cat toy. They just didn't understand the path you had chosen."
Ignis swallows down another spoonful of ice cream but in his current state went down tasting bitter.
He sets the spoon down and he fisted his shirt.
"You must think I'm weak or unable to handle my position."
Cor shakes his head "No. No I don't."
Ignis looks up at him, his emerald eyes shine with uncertainty.
"You don't?"
"No. I think that you are just really sad, as in your emotions. I think you are just wanting us to acknowledge you're hurt and pain, cause right now you're just needing someone to listen to your plight. But like Gladio said...you aren't a coward nor are you weak. You are just upset and we are sorry we let you get to this point. We'll work with you and help you get to a point that you are comfortable and at piece once more. But know this, its the same thing I told Prompto, if you need to cry go ahead, there is nothing wrong with shedding tears when you need to. Its all part of healing and getting stronger." Cor sits back "Now eat your ice cream before it melts."
Ignis nods as he takes a piece of graham cracker and scoops up some ice cream and marshmallow "What of Noct?"
"Don't worry about him, I got someone who will talk some sense into him."
Aranea stood outside the cottage door. She had knocked and was now awaiting entry. She was heated, she understood the brothers current situation but hearing that a certain royal pain in the tail was being rather unprincely and cruel to his brother she had to do something. Because even though she would never admit it but she loves them, they were like her little brothers. And hearing that they were having issues she knew she had to fix it.
The door clicks open and reveals Iris who looks up at her smiling "Oh Aranea." She says as she steps back allowing the mercenary to enter "Hey kid." She says patting Iris on the head before turning her attention to the top floor "Hey Royal Pain in the Butt, I know you're up there get down here!" She growls before quickly adding "Or I'll go up there and throw you down the stairs and kick your butt into next week!" She snaps nearly screaming.
Almost instantly Noctis emerges from one of the bedrooms. He peers down and his eyes narrow to slits.
"I see you, get down here!"
Noctis rolls his eyes as he stomps down the stairs.
"What." Noctis says flatly.
His tone irks Aranea, and she automatically knows the best way to deal with him. She wastes no time in scooping up the now bratty king and slings him over her shoulder and carries him outside. She carries him to spot where they fought the dread behemoth and easily tosses him into the frigid waters as if he weighed nothing.
The sudden action causes the young King to warp out of the water landing inches from the silver haired woman shaking uncontrollably "W-What the heck Aranea!?" He spits his words laced with venom.
"I think I should be the one to ask you that." She fires back "Care to explain why you been a jerk lately!?" She asks flatly.
Noctis narrows his eyes "I haven't been a jerk." He growls.
"That's not what Cor and Muscles told me. I was told you been making Ignis upset. I was told you were picking fights with everyone. And that you been in a foul mood."
This makes Noctis look up at her with a defensive glint in his eyes.
In return she looks at him sympathetically "Look. I know you miss your friend but, you can't go taking that anger out on your other friends. Instead you need to focus on the ones that are still alive." She says trying to sound gentle.
"But Prompto would still be alive if Ignis wasn't there."
Aranea rolls her eyes "Okay how about this, what if Gladiolus was the one on the ground instead of Ignis. Or what if it was Iris, or Cor? Would you be blaming them? Or what if they had to choose out of you and him?" She gets in his face "Or perhaps its the fact that Ignis won't fight back, he won't yell or scream at you. The fact that he won't lay a hand on you."
Noctis looks away from her.
"You can do and say whatever you want to him or about him and he'll just take it. Yet he would never do or say anything to hurt you."
Noctis frowns he knows this and he hates that its so true. Sure Ignis may roll his eyes or sigh but he would never do anything to harm Noctis. But Noctis has countless times had hurt Ignis.
"It's a shame really. I gotta give it to him, if I were in his shoes I don't think I'd let a day go by without me pounding you into the ground. Especially after what you done recently."
Noctis remains silent.
"Look right now you may not care but know this, you're not doing anything good for your relationship with him. You're just showing him that he can't count on you. If you don't make things right between you both you can kiss this friendship goodbye." Aranea says as she walks away.
Leaving Noctis to sit alone in the grass.
When Cor and Ignis return it was around four in the afternoon, the young tactician was looking a bit more happy than he had from the time he left sparking an idea in Monica.
"Why don't you boys hit the road, I think spending to much time here isn't good for you three. This place is only a birthing ground for negativity and you need to be away from it."
Gladiolus nods "Yeah, lets do that."
Taking Monica's advice, the remaining brothers decide to get out of the house and back out on the road. They gathered their things and climbed into the Regalia, with no real destination in mind they just set off.
However, they weren't entirely sure what to expect when the three of them were crammed in the car. With Ignis at the wheel and the other two in the back they drove in near silence, save for the radio which was playing the newest song Choosing Hope.
Ignis looks up at Noctis through the rearview mirrors. The ash blonde looking tempted to say something but nothing came to his mind for he he feared that he would upset Noctis if he said anything. Yet this silence was going to make him scream.
Gladiolus seeing that Ignis was looking discouraged begins to speak "This song, it's really nice...kinda fits us, don't you think?"
Noctis huffs.
Ignis nods a bit "I think so."
Noctis rolls his eyes and leans back crossing his arms.
At this point no one said anything birthing another wave of awkward silence over them.
"So is this it? Is this all we're doing?" Noctis asks, it was obvious that the king was trying his hardest to sound friendly even if his question came out like a hiss.
"Well yeah, we were told to get out. So why not just drive around and them camp out." Gladiolus says with his nose deep in his book hoping that this was going to distract him.
It does little to help him. He can still pick up on the tension making it hard to focus on the story. He sighs as he closes the book "Maybe we should just go set up camp and spend the day relaxing instead of driving around. I was just thinking about it and with how things are right now I know we're just gonna end up fighting with one another if we go someplace and end thinking about him. And besides it getting late the daemons are gonna be comin' out too." Gladiolus explains.
Nodding in agreement Ignis decides to pull off on the side of the road "Vennaugh Haven is right there...we can set up camp here." Ignis mumbles.
"Why not just go all the way to Galdin?" Noctis questions.
"You want to drive the rest of the way?" Gladiolus questions as he climbs out of the car. Noctis just sighs as me makes his way up to the haven.
Once camp was set up and ready to go very little conversation was had and very little interaction was had. It was almost like they were afraid of triggering one another.
It went on like this up until Ignis decided to try his hand at cooking. Everything was going fine and he found his rhythm in which he was comfortable in. He was so caught up in the moment that when he began to plate the meal he accidentally added another plate.
"What the heck Ignis, again!? You did it again!" Noctis snaps his blue eyes narrowing. Ignis blinks shaking his head to clear it for he was lost in thought "Excuse me?" He asks sounding distracted. However this only angers Noctis further as he throws his hand towards the plate in Ignis's hand "You made a fourth plate, there aren't four of us anymore." Noctis hisses through his teeth. Ignis looks down his face falling slightly "I- old habit...it won't happen again." He says softly.
"Yeah." Noctis let's out a irritated laugh "Thats what you said the last however many times it happened."
"Noct, please...it was an honest accident." Ignis responds sounding exhausted "I meant nothing by it."
"Yeah like you didn't mean to collapse on the battle field that day. You know if it wasn't for you he'd still be here! If you weren't so weak then Prompto would be here with us, everything would be just fine. Then I wouldn't be calling you out on making a plate." Noctis smirks as another through crosses his mind "Better yet, if you were never here then Prompto would be okay and alive. If you had stayed in the Crown City then he would be okay you know what I wish-"
"Noctis!" Gladiolus booms cutting off the young king who glares at him "Don't you dare finish that sentence." the Shield threatens, yet the raven haired boy ignores him "I wish you were the one dead!" Noctis spits "Noctis!" Gladiolus roars "Oh shut up! You're thinking the same thing, I hate you and I want nothing to do with you. You killed my best friend-."
BANG!
Noctis is cut off by Ignis slamming the plate against the camper table, he stands there for a moment pinching the bridge of his nose before he storms towards the tent. He reaches the tent door before stopping and spinning on his heels "Now listen here, I had fought just as bravely as Prompto...I apologize for not being equal in strength as Gladio or as Ravus but-" Ignis's voice begins to break "but throwing all the blame for his death on my shoulders is not fair" Ignis sniffs and lets out a shaky gasp, when he starts talking however his voice wobbles causing it to go a bit higher "You don't think I feel that? Every night I go to bed I find myself asking 'Why me? Why wasn't he saved?' I know I shouldn't but I blame myself." Tears gather in Ignis's eyes "When I close my eyes, I can see him...I think back to the battle...how he was so-..." Ignis feels his shoulders quaking and he hugs himself "I hate this feeling...I hate it so much...I often-..." he closes his eyes sending the gather tears down his face.
"That's why I tried to end my life." Ignis opens his eyes his tone steady "People keep nagging and pressing and chastising me over it...but you try to go on everyday with your own grief shoved down, a mask in place to be strong for others...the heaviness in your heart due to the knowledge that you're partially to blame..." Ignis sniffs a small gasp leaving him "And then to be told its your fault over and over and over after being told it wasn't. And then being told to die when you already feel like dying, it just strengthens ones belief that they will make the ones they love happy with their death." Ignis explains.
Noctis simply narrows his eyes "What are you saying. That me and Gladio are to blame!?"
"I'M SAYING ITS NOT JUST MY FAULT!" Ignis screams his voice ringing out into the night as hot tears stream down his face, he let's out a sob "Its all of our faults, if only we been better prepared... if only we checked our supplies...if only we been looking after him." Ignis keens tears continue to roll down his face a strangled sob rips from his throat as he turns his back to Noctis and hand goes up to his face as he gives in to his grief.
Gladiolus shoves pass Noctis purposely slamming into him as he makes his way to Ignis "It's okay, hey I'm not blaming you." He says gently as he pulls him into a hug "I'm not blaming you. You're right, its not just your fault...we're to blame too." he says softly prompting Ignis to turn and bury his face in Gladiolus's shoulder as he continues to sob.
"Yeah only if..." Noctis shakes his head "That's all you can say...only if you hadn't been there then yeah he would still be here." Noctis grumbles as he returns to sit in the camper chair.
Shaking his head Gladiolus turns his attention back to the weeping man in his arms. He needs to talk to Noctis for he was sick of this tension. But for now he'll comfort Ignis and put him to bed. With a small squeeze he guides Ignis to the tent and ushers him inside. Ignis sits down on the side which Gladiolus sleeps on, kneeling beside the younger male Gladiolus summons the medical kit and pulls out the packet of medicine that Sania had made.
He opens two of the squares and hands them to Ignis. "Here. Take these Iggy. One's for your nightmares and the other is for your mood, it'll make you feel better." Gladiolus explains softly. After swallowing down the pills Ignis lays down and Gladiolus begins pulling off Ignis' shoes setting them outside before he covers Ignis up with his blanket.
"Go ahead and get some sleep." Gladiolus mumbles softly earning him a look of uncertainty from Ignis "I'll stay with you till you fall asleep." He adds causing Ignis to close his eyes.
Once he was one hundred percent positive that the tactician was asleep, the Shield confronts his King.
"Enough is enough!" Growls Gladiolus "Are you so bent on this anger and hatred that you can't say something nice? Say something that will reassure Ignis. I don't care what you say to me, or how feel or treat me." Gladiolus snarls as he glares at Noctis "But don't you ever, EVER make Ignis feel like he is less than you. Don't toss his feelings to wind when he just told you how he is feeling. He put up with you this long taking on your burdens and your hardships and you don't even have the heart to return that." Spits Gladiolus making Noctis roll his eyes.
"I never asked him to do any of that!"
"You didn't have to. It was his job but more importantly it was because of the simple fact he loves you and cares about you."
Noctis doesn't say anything.
"You should at least feel some need to see him smile again. This what you're doing to him...he would never do to you...and you know it. You know that he would never lay a hand you, yet you have hit him. He would never tell you to die or wish that you were the one in the ground, yet you have many times."
Noctis bites his lip as he crosses his arms.
"He would never call you out on taking drastic measures if you were hurting, yet you have. He never ridiculed you for crying and yet you have...don't you see a pattern here? Ignis shows you love and that you can trust him. But you have constantly shown him he can't trust you." Gladiolus explains.
"Maybe if you had been the one to sit with him in the middle of the night or stay up with him until he fell asleep you'd understand the toll you have put on him."
Noctis looks towards the tent where he could see Ignis huddled in the corner where Gladiolus usually lays.
"I...I know I haven't been nice to him. But speaking for myself, I can't look at him without getting mad or feeling hatred. I just see him and I can't help but think 'You should've done more to stay alive.' or 'You made me choose. Why did you make me choose.' and every time I think that I feel myself growing angrier and angrier." Noctis explains.
Gladiolus nods "But you remember how it was back in the Citadel, he could keep up and he was agile but certain hits would floor him. Ignis is strong but he isn't built for certain kinds of combat. We're all different and we all have different fighting styles and skills and limits but we also have our limits. You and I both know that Ignis and Prompto are weaker than us. And as their friends it was our job to make sure they were keeping up."
Noctis knew that already and he didn't need Gladiolus reminding him. Shaking his head Noctis turns to the tent and lays down against the other wall wanting to be farthest away from Ignis.
Gladiolus, unsure if what he said to the King got through or not. He figured that it didn't leaving him shaking his head as he enters the tent as well hoping that tomorrow will be a better day or at least see some improvement from Noctis.
As the last of the brothers enter the tent for the night neither of them were aware that in the distance a pair of glowing yellow eyes flash glowing brighter and brighter for a few seconds before dimming to nothingness.
'Looks like I gotta be the one to fix this...'
