"Ensign Q reporting for duty." He stepped into the sickbay wearing the teal and black colored uniform marking him look as one of the science officers on the ship.
"Ensign? Since when?" The Doc scoffed and turned his back on Q.
"Since I got on my knees and begged Kathy...Captain Janeway to give me a position on the crew. I know Starfleets manual back to front, all standard stuff, easy to follow, I know starfleet protocol like the back of my hand, and I am more than qualified to be a science officer." He stuck his chin up in the air trying to show off some superiority but the Doc was not buying it.
Handing Q a hypo spray the Doc replied with a sassy tone. "You are a glorified nurse, now please administer this to Ensign Jates, they sprained their ankle." he paused and looked back at Q wondering if he would need to explain the procedure more to the newcomer. "You do know how to administer a hypo spray correct?"
Q took it like a cat swatting as string, his fingers clutching the spray tightly. "Of course I do, don't insult me."
"That would be yes sir to you, don't forget Ensign Q I am your superior."
Now that got under the ex super beings skin which made the doctor all the more giddy. "Yes, Sir." Rather slowly he walked over to the patient, a rather annoyed looking Ensign Jates. No one really likes him on Voyager, even Kathy didn't like him sometimes. He had this superiority complex that bothered them and sometimes the crew questioned his respect for the captain and more so his intentions with banded up behind her and loved her up, standing in defense for her honor like a bunch of school children defending their favorite school teacher. She might have been their teacher but she was his equal and that was saying a lot from him. Even before he became human Kathryn had been his equal, it's why he had picked her to be his mate. Pressing the hypo spray into the patients neck he pulled back on the trigger and looked back to the Doc. "What is this for?"
Kes glanced over at her good friend with a little smile on her face trying to hide the fact she thought it was a little funny to see the Doctor actually turn a little red. Kes might have been the only person who thought Q was a real feeling human being now. She was more patient with him than others and when he went chasing after the captain she called it sweet rather than pathetic. "You just injected the patient with an unknown substance? You didn't even bother to ask me about it before?"
"Well you didn't tell me." Q replied and cocked a brow.
"I thought you would have known, ex super being and all...do you see what they send me to work with." He huffed and let his hand fall to his side. "At this rate people will be dying from hangnails and sprained wrists. I gave you diclofenac, and anti inflammatory medication to help with the swelling in her ankle and ease the pain. Next time you don't know what you are giving the patient ask." He caught his artificial breath and rolled his eyes to show his annoyance.
"Go easy on him Doctor he's new to this." Kes added with one of her bright little smiles. He could actually see himself liking Kes. Perhaps one day he would sit down and have lunch with her when he wasn't so busy following Kathryn around and telling her to sit down and give some more tasks to Chuckles so she could relax.
"Well then, there you are, all better you can run along for duty or whatever it is you people do." Q sassed at the Ensign who gave him another one of those disproving glances. "If it's alright with the Doctor that is."
The Doc raised a brow and set down one of his tools before picking up another and looking it over. "She can be excused but come back tomorrow so I can be certain it's recovering."
"This is so boring, when do we start on something exciting? Like saving someone from the brink of death?" Q moved away from the beds. "Isn't this a Starfleet ship? Shouldn't it be full of injured and dying people from some warp core accident or plasma burns? Maybe a wound to the chest from phaser fire."
The Doctor slammed down another instrument and glared at Q. "It's not all about treating fatal injuries. Most days it's treating a minor cut, an upset stomach, even the occasional common cold. We are not in constant threat of death on this ship. I would like to think our captain is a little more capable than that. Don't you agree?" He raised a brow and glanced back at Q knowing the ex god being wouldn't want to say anything bad about Captain Janeway. He might get locked up in the brig for the remainder of the ride home.
"Oh, I would never underestimate her abilities to run this ship. I question her crew though." He crossed his arms and glared back at the Doctor. "Picard got the best of the best, Captain Janeway got...you lot. I'm impressed with how far she has come with this crew. I commend her on her skills and control in any situation." Wouldn't she be so proud of him kissing her ass. The Doctor gave him another dissatisfied glare but at this time that was the best Q could hope for from anyone on Voyager.
"Doctor if I may. I could take Q over the instruments we use and give him a catalog of things he might need to know while working in sickbay. That is if he decides to stay in sickbay with us." Kes interrupted with her sweet calming voice and warm smile.
"If it gets him out of my sight, then please do. Thank you Kes." The Doc growled a little something under his breath afterwards. He had taken an oath to never harm anyone or anything but in this case he might make a pass for Q.
So for several hours Q slaved away learning about the simple primitive tools used by the humanoids to correct silly things like broken bones and illness. They truly were fragile creatures, a simple sneeze could become fatal for them it seemed. With each new disease and ailment he learned about it amazed him that he now counted himself among these creatures. What was going to kill him first he wondered. A hormonal Captain or a scrape to the knee? Looking over a little more information Kes had given him while she worked on bacterial cultures he was pulled away from his work when he noticed no one was near the Doctors terminal. Snooping around a little never hurt anyone and looking at a few medical files felt like snooping into someones diary. It gave him a better idea about the crew as well. Cracking into the terminal was child's play, even without his powers Q retained his brilliance and cunning. Nothing in this universe could take that away from him. As his fingers played across the screen he leaned back glancing over some little medical incidents with Paris and and interesting file reported on Vorik and Pon Farr. "I shouldn't have expected anything less." The Doctor spoke up as he walked to the door again. "Half an hour late? But I'm not surprised. She's always the last person to report to sick bay, she could be close to death and still find a way to get out of coming here. I am starting to think the Captain dislikes me."
Kes laughed behind him and tried her best to put his mind at ease. "It's not that she dislikes you. I am sure she is just busy is all. The Captain is a very busy woman."
"A very busy woman who still hasn't come in for her weekly checkup. I told her I wouldn't bother her if it wasn't important but there are plenty of reasons for concern. One being this is her first pregnancy, the second being that the unusual abilities that little, creature, displays takes a toll on both of them. She needs to be closely monitored for her own safety." Q huffed and looked up another file, as if little Q was going to somehow harm her own mother. Even accidentally little Q didn't have it in her. Certainly she could blow up picture frames and make the electrical fields of tools destabilize but she was hardly dangerous, yet. Looking around the terminal again he got a devious grin on his face. Oh goody, something interesting.
"Besides I thought you looked at the Captain a few days ago." Kes added.
"I tried but it's difficult when one of your patients can shut off a medical tricorder with it's mind."
Turning away from the terminal he quickly went back to where it had been left before his tampering. "I could help with that." He raised his voice as he stood up and moved away from the terminal. "Q is a little shy."
"Shy?" The doctor snapped. "She projects her conscious self outside the womb so she can say hi. That's not what I consider shy."
"That is true but she only does that because she's as curious as she is shy. After all you can't expect something who is half human to just magically obtain all the knowledge of the continuum. She has to start her learning curb early to catch up with the rest of us. If we just let her know it all the instant she existed well, you would be scooping tiny brains off the walls."
"Comforting." The Doc interrupted wondering if that had disturbed Q as much as it had disturbed him.
"I would say for something that started out with the IQ of a pickle she's done well for herself. Still trying to grasp the concept of a cup but...smart." He paused and looked over his fingernails as if he was debating trimming them or getting a manicure. "I could get her to cooperate with your scanning and tests. She won't let you otherwise, she doesn't trust you. Not since the Vidiians. I don't blame her, the hostility this crew shows against me, she's a sensitive little thing, it would only seem expropriate she feels the same hostility against herself." Honestly little Q was as naive as a potato chip, she wouldn't know if crew members disliked her even if they said it to her face. That was perhaps one of the better parts of innocence. The other being she could say things that would get him slapped but because she didn't know better it was forgivable.
"Now the real miracle would be can you get the Captain to sickbay?"
Q gave a devious little grin before glancing back to the Doctor. "Now that you mention it, I think I can."
Q gallivanted into her ready room not bothering to knock before or even announce his presence. He never did so why bother starting now that he was mortal? Certainly it was less fun when you couldn't just appear and disappear. "Hello my beautiful vibrant rose. You are posativly glowing today. With the light of a thousand stars she sparkles, the breaths of a thousand winds she moves my heart." He rested a hand on his chest hoping he had softened her up enough. Kathryn was ignoring him as usual, likely fearful he was going to suggest she eat something before it was the end of the world and everyone on the ship died, or go lay down because she seemed snappy and needed rest. "How are you today Kathryn? I mean Captain?" She was allowing him to be a member of the crew for now, an Ensign even. The captain had said he would likely never get a promotion or a real career at Starfleet because of his personality but one could hope. "And Junior?"
Shifting in her chair she sat back resting her arm on her desk and partially closing her eyes as if the light in the room was too bright. "Exhausted, you snore."
"I do? I'm sorry."
"Loud enough Chakotay could hear you in the hall when he walked by. He asked me when we let a bear on the ship."
"Very sorry. I have never been human before, I haven't needed sleep before." He stopped himself from getting too distracted by an apology and remembered why he was here. "Oh yes, Kathryn, Captain, as a possible new member to the medical team I am here to inform you to report to the Doctor in sickbay immediately. You don't look too busy right now so it shouldn't be a problem for you."
Suddenly she went from leaning back in her chair to sitting upright and trying to look busy. "I have so many reports to fill out. Maybe another day." If he didn't know better she was avoiding sickbay just like the Doctor had said.
"Do I have to remind you Kathryn, speaking as someone who cares about you and not just a member of your crew, this is your first child and the Doctor is concerned." He stopped and tilted his head to the side. "Or is it."
"What?" She looked back at him when he asked the question. What was he talking about.
"Is this really your first child I mean? If not then maybe you don't need to keep up with these constant checkups. I mean at your age, being a first time mother there are risks but if it wasn't your first time the risks would be a lot lower."
He got that death glare from her, it was in poor taste to talk about her age. As far as everyone on the crew was concerned she didn't have an age. Still he was up to something devious and she didn't like where it was going. "I don't know what you are getting at Q."
"Oh but you do Kathy, I have two words for you. Paris, lizards." Just like that he had surprised her a third time. He was getting very good at this. "So I understand if you know something the rest of the class doesn't know. This is clearly not your first child, in fact I think if I read correctly it's number 4 for you. Skip the checkups, who needs them anyways. You are clearly already an expert on child rearing..." Kathy got up quickly and walked over towards the ready room door. "Where are you going?" Q grinned.
"Sickbay." Maybe he wasn't sensitive but he got results.
