Hello friends! I apologize a thousand times for not updating for so long. I know I hate it when authors do that but life and school happens. Ugh. Regardless, I have returned with two more chapters. On the bright side, I have a general outline for this story now (before I had no idea where it was going) I will try a bit longer chapters after this one and hopefully more consistent. This story is more of fluff than intricate plot, I admit, but oh well. Here is the first of two chapters for the moment. Enjoy:
The following morning, Fanny took her usual walk early in the morning. The gardeners were amazing and each garden seemed to come together in perfection. One was what Fanny thought of the enchanted garden, which had less flowers and impressive plants with large, magnificent leaves. The trees reached over the path so that sunlight danced through the trees. The dark garden was further down where the vegetation became thicker and it had a dark breathless sort of beauty. This morning she had chosen the bright garden, which was closest to the house and had the best defined paths. It featured beautiful and bright flowers of all colors. There was still dew on the plants as she walked the path.
She breathed the crisp air and thought of her husband. He had reappeared with Edmund last evening. Both had been very civil, but distant. She guessed they had spoken of the postponed wedding so she did not pry. Instead she kept the conversation on trivial subjects such as the weather. Edmund contributed with updates on Mansfield Park.
Henry had been strange. His mask had returned but it seemed to be more difficult to keep in place than before.
Fanny was troubled, but she recalled his games. He played with her heart the way she had vowed never to allow. She never thought she would be in the same position as Maria and Julia.
"What thoughts could be disturbing you so, gentle cousin?" The sudden appearance of Edmund on her garden path shook her from her thoughts.
"Petty things," Fanny smiled. Edmund looked much refreshed after a nights rest.
"Fanny, you are the only creature alive that is not petty." Edmund said.
Fanny laughed, thinking he teased, but upon looking at his face, she noted how serious he was. She inquired after his night and he reassured her of his rest and complete comfort in the room set up for him.
"Edmund, something troubles you?" Fanny placed a hand on his arm but quickly pulled it back.
"Fanny…" Edmund was outright frowning now. "Fanny, are you happy?"
Fanny smiled at his concern. "I am perfectly happy, Edmund, whatever more could I complain of? Look at these flowers!"
These were particular favorites of Fanny's. There were brightly colored blue, brighter than anything in England. They had five petals each and they changed to green the closer to the center. She was unsure of their name but they always looked so cheerful, even when it rained.
"Fanny, I ask that you be honest with me." Edmund pleaded. Fanny looked over at him, her hand still on the flower. Why was he so serious?
"I am honest, Edmund." She said. "Look at this flower. I am blessed with such a life that I can see this beauty every day."
"You have always been so easy to please." Edmund shook his head.
"Easy to please?" Fanny frowned. "I may take pleasure in simple things, but I am not easy to please. These gardens bring me pleasure because they are beautiful and they ease my heart."
"Why must your heart be eased, Fanny?" He took her hand and pulled her closer to him. "Are you happy here, married to Henry Crawford? Do you love him?"
"Edmund?" Fanny searched his face. What was the purpose of his questions? She had never known Edmund to be unclear or ungentle. Right now, his grip was tighter than she was comfortable with.
"Fanny, do you love Henry?" He repeated his question, with a slight tone of urgency. Why was there urgency?
"Edmund, why must I answer this question?" Fanny tried to pull her hand back, but he kept a stern hold.
"Fanny," His voice dropped to barely above a whisper. "I know your feelings back in Mansfield Park. If you would allow me, I could bring you such happiness."
Fanny was stunned into silence. This was not the righteous Edmund she had known a good part of her childhood. The mediator to all his siblings' arguments, the level-minded son and advocate for the downtrodden. What he proposed, completely tarnished his good image in her mind.
"Do not look at me so, Fanny." Edmund shook his head. "I would never bring shame to your good name. I have spoken with Henry, the legalities may be difficult and society may be scandalized for a time, but what is most important is your happiness."
At this Fanny finally repossessed her hand from Edmund's grip. Henry knew of this? Was Henry attempting to be rid of her? Her heart, still raw, felt a whole new pain.
"Henry," She gasped, trying to stabilize her voice. "Henry, allows this?"
"He was completely enraged," Edmund mistook her emotion and took her hand again. "But when I presented my case, that it was selfish of him to keep you, he finally conceited. He gave me until noon to present my case to you."
"Selfish?" She was extremely confused now.
"Yes," Edmund gave her one of his gentle smiles. "You were pressured into a loveless marriage, but Fanny how can that be possible. You are too good, too gentle to be trapped in this way."
"Edmund," Fanny took her hand from him again, this time carefully. "I was not pressured, I made my choice."
"Yes, but-"
"I made my choice. Perhaps it was not what I believed it was going to be, but we all make our choices,"
"Fanny-" He said in disbelief.
"Edmund, please respect my choices. I made a promise to Henry the day we married. I choose to keep that promise."
Edmund was struck speechless for a long pause, his smile gone.
"Shall we continue in our walk," Fanny motioned to the path, and began following it, without waiting for her cousin.
"Fanny, do you love Henry?" Edmund called.
Did she love Henry? She was unsure. Her heart had been clouded with betrayal and sorrow these past days, she could not clearly identify what was in it.
"My feelings are my own." She finally answered. "I have a right to keep them from you, forgive me. I do not owe you, or my husband, or anyone an explanation of what I feel. I may share or not share as I fancy."
Edmund gave a humorless chuckle. "You have changed, my dear cousin. You have always hidden your feelings. Before because you were afraid, now because you wish to. Very well I will not speak of this if you do not wish it."
"Let us not ever speak of this again," Fanny told him, looking down at her hands. Had she been brash? "I wish to enjoy the day with my favorite cousin."
"As you wish," Edmund hid his shaking hands behind his back and followed Fanny down the path.
