Chapter 18 beauty in everything
AN: hehe, little greys anatomy ref here if you catch it 3
^Thursday January 12th 2017^
"So what did you want to talk about?" Garnet asked as she sat on Pearls bed with the skinny girl.
"My tumor shrunk..." Pearl said softly.
Garnet looked at her in surprise. She smiled wide and pulled Pearl into a crushing hug, "That's amazing!" She cheered.
Pearl smiled softly at garnets excitement.
"You don't seem thrilled..." she said, pulling out of the hug and looking into Pearl clear blue eyes.
"I'm just not sure what to do..." she whispered back, the close proximity of Garnets face throwing her off her game, not that she really had any game to begin with.
"'Bout what?" Garnet asked.
Pearl sighed and began explaining how she would need to choose between getting the surgery and all the risks that come with that, or staying on Chemo and Radiation and how horrible her quality of life is.
"I know you can't make this decision for me... I was just hoping you could... put it in perspective?" Pearl said when she saw Garnet start to shake her head. She knew what the tall girl would say. 'This is your life pearl, no one can make this choice for you but you, and if they do, and they chose wrong, it's not fair on them, it needs to be your own choice.'
"Well, from my point of view I wouldn't ever want to lose you, but I also know that I want you to be happy, and if getting the surgery could give you back the life you want I would want for you to get that." Garnet said calmly, stroking Pearls cheek with her thumb.
"But what if something happens and I'm... I don't know, brain dead or something...?" Pearl asked, she was more afraid to die than anything else in her life. It was in irrational fear really, everyone dies at some point, but it wasn't really about dying, in and of itself, more what it would do to the people around her.
Would they be crushed? Would they even care? The world would keep turning, yes. But her mother had no one else... She couldn't let that happen... Then again what kind of life is she giving her mother now, one where she had to wait on her hand and foot? Not to mention that she doesn't even see her friends anymore.
"I just-" she hiccuped softly, her eyes blurring with tears and she shook her head. Garnet said nothing, she just took Pearl in her arms and held her close, rocking slightly side to side in a soothing even manner.
A few hours later Blue walked in the room, a small BIG DONUT box in one hand and her cane in the other.
"Hello Darlings, how are we this morning?" She asked as she set the box on the side table along with her purse.
Pearl smiled at her aunt, "We are better now, Aunt Blue." This caught Blues attention.
"Oh?" She asked her eyebrow raised, but went about opening the box and offering a doughnut to the girls silently. "Have you come to a decision?"
"Yes I have."
X
"And you're sure about this Pearl?" Blanche asked as she paced around the room.
"Yes mother." The small girl responded as she followed her mother with her eyes, she shook her head, "you're making me dizzy mom, just come sit down."
Blanche stopped her pacing and moved to sit on the edge of Pearls bed.
"I just-" Blanche started but stopped and refocused herself. "I don't want you to feel like I pressured you into making this decision." She said after a moment.
"You didn't, I decided on my own, I just, want to try, I feel like if I don't try right now then I might loose the shot that I have to be better, and not suffer through this any more..." Pearl explained smiling at the white haired woman.
Blanche smiled at her daughter and pulled her in for a tight hug, "I'm so
Glad."
X
"So we have your surgery scheduled for Tuesday the 24th at Seven am, you'll already be here so we don't have to worry about you coming in, and we'll keep your chemo treatments until the 20th and then we should be good to go." Dr M explained. "Your surgeon will be Dr. Topaz, she may seem a bit intimidated when you meet her tomorrow but she's really a sweetheart and she is the best surgeon we have, you're in good hands Pearl."
Pearl nodded but added no comment, Blanche then started rattling off questions about recovery times, side effects, and whatever else she could possibly ask.
X
^Tuesday January 24th 2017^
"Alright, so everything is set, we will take you down to prep as soon as you're ready."
Pearl looked to her mother eyes wide and lip trembling.
"I'm scared mommy..." she whispered.
"I'll give you two a minute..." Dr. Topaz said stepping out of the room.
Blanche walked over to Pearl and placed a firm hand on her cheek.
"You are going to do great. You have never failed a thing in your life, and you're not going to start now. Am I clear?" She said, her tone firm but caring. This was just what she knew Pearl needed, a challenge. She nodded a determined look planted on her face as she got comfortable on the bed ready to be transported.
X
"So well take you down to prep and we'll get you right in and get this cancer out of you as soon as possible I don't want you to worry." Dr. Topaz explained, she was s very large woman blonde cropped hair and the muscle mass of a Mr. Universe competitor, but sweet, caring and gentle when you got to know her.
"I saw quite the crowd waiting on you girl, at least seven people." Pearl smiled as she thought of her friends and family waiting on her.
"You know," She said, looking up at the Dr who walked beside her rolling bed. "I read this study once, that if you stand in superhero pose for 5 minutes before some kind of difficult task you will not only be more confident but you will preform measurably better." Topaz nodded and waited for Pearl to continue. "Do you think that when we get into the OR I could... do that, stand for five minutes, like a superhero?" She asked feeling more and more self conscious as she spoke.
Topaz seemed to think on it for a moment and then a smile split her face.
"Of course."
X
And so they stood, five full minutes of standing still, hand in fists resting on hips, legs spread apart, chest puffed out, and Pearl could feel it, the confidence that came from this.
