"Hey!" Clarke greeted her favorite shy girl with a huge smile. "Glad you could make it!"
She took a moment to study Lexa. She was wearing dark grey skinny jeans, black converse high tops and a bordeaux colored hoodie. And she looked nervous, Clarke immediately noticed. Her eyes kept wandering between Clarke and her apartment behind her, and she shifted her weight once. The blonde held out her hand with a smile and beamed when Lexa accepted it.
"Raven and O are already inside," Clarke explained and noticed the flash of panic in the brunette's eyes, "they won't bite." She whispered with a grin and squeezed Lexa's soft hand reassuringly.
She led Lexa into the living room where Octavia and Raven already looked at them curiously. Them, or their still intertwined hands. Clarke noticed that the girls had switched from the couch to the two kitchen chairs she had carried to the living room earlier, so that she and Lexa could sit on the couch, and she quickly shot them both a thankful smile.
"Lexa, this is Raven," Clarke started introducing them.
"Clarke has told us a lot about you, it's a pleasure to finally meet you!" Raven said with a friendly smile and waved at Lexa, well aware that she wasn't too fond of touches. Lexa waved back and Clarke sighed in relief when she noticed that the girl's tensed shoulders already relaxed a little.
"And this is Octavia," she finished.
"Just O is fine!" Octavia said, copying Raven's earlier behavior of keeping a safe distance, and chose to wave as well. Lexa's lips curled up into a tiny smile and she nodded.
The two girls sat down on the couch and Clarke poured Lexa a coke since she didn't drink alcohol. She pulled out her phone and quickly typed in a message. A few seconds later, Raven's phone buzzed.
Clarke (8:06pm): Please behave Rae, please! Lexa means a lot to me and whatever you do, please please please don't scare her away! I don't care if you embarrass me or whatever, just… don't tease or bug her!
Clarke (8:07pm): Please Raven
Raven (8:07pm): chill, blondie!
Clarke had no choice but to trust Raven. Her best friend could be a handful, she knew that. But she also knew that Raven was one of the good guys, who would never harm anyone, especially not on purpose.
They chatted for a while, and Clarke kept checking on Lexa, but the girl seemed to be okay so far. Maybe a bit overwhelmed, and Clarke knew this was because her friends were so welcoming and friendly with her, and again, she thanked the Gods to have people like them in her life. They really made the situation so much easier.
"So… Lexa," Raven started, and Clarke felt Lexa slightly tense up at Raven's serious tone. "Clarke said you have a sister, 'but not really but kind of but not'?" She waited for a reaction and when Lexa nodded, she continued with a grin, "I was wondering how the hell that works."
Lexa shifted a little and cleared her throat before she answered. "Well, her name is Anya and we grew up together." She shook her head. "No, I mean I grew up with her. She's seven years older than me and when I moved in with them, she was a year away from graduating from High School." Lexa stopped when she noticed the changing faces of the other girls, unsure what it meant. Raven noticed and was quick to explain.
"What did you mean when you said you moved in with them? Is she your stepsister?" Raven asked carefully, well aware of the look in Clarke's eyes that said she already had an idea. While Lexa was talking, Raven had kept glancing at Clarke and she had noticed the change in the blonde's appearance. She was her best friend and she knew every little detail about Clarke's body language, so she also knew what Clarke was thinking. How little she really knew about Lexa, how much her heart ached for the shy brunette. She was pulled out of her thoughts when Lexa took a sip of her coke and cleared her throat again.
"No, she's my… Her parents took me out of the foster system. My parents," she sucked in a sharp breath and Clarke turned her hand, offering Lexa to take it in case it helped her, which the girl did, "put me in there when I was eight, because they… because of how I am. They said they couldn't deal with it anymore and thought it was the best solution, to have professionals take care of me or something. I don't really remember, it was a long time ago. So Indra and Gustus, they're Anya's parents, took me in when I was ten, and they were really nice to me. There were– are a lot of times where I have… where I am difficult, but I know that they accept me for who I am, and Anya has always been there for me."
Lexa stopped and finally looked up from Clarke's thumb that was still softly brushing over her own palm. Raven and Octavia looked back at her with a smile. She hesitated for a moment, not sure whether she should continue. Clarke squeezed her hand encouragingly, and Raven nodded at her, so Lexa continued.
"Um… well Anya moved out when she was nineteen." She started fiddling with the hem of her hoodie. "It was difficult for me without her, but we skyped everyday and I eventually got used to not having her around every minute of the day. So now… whenever something is going on, I call her and she always helps me. So she's like my sister, even if it's not biological." She finished with a shy smile.
The group stayed quiet for a while, each of them a bit lost in their own thoughts. Clarke tried to appear calm, but inside of her, a storm of emotions was raging. There was so much to take in, so much to process. For a while now, she'd had the feeling that the girl had been through a lot, but not in a million years would she have expected that Lexa's parents had abandoned her, that they had put her in the system only because she was on the spectrum; Something she couldn't change, something she hadn't chosen, something that was simply a part of her, just like her eye color. Clarke had to gulp down the heavy lump in her throat at the image of a little Lexa, lost, in an unfamiliar place, with unfamiliar people, sitting there with those puppy eyes.
She took in a deep breath. "Thanks for telling us, Lexa. Thanks for trusting us."
Lexa quickly shot her a small smile before she drew her gaze back to her hands. And then, something happened that Clarke had not expected, at all. Raven got up from her chair, walked over to the couch and, struggling a bit with the brace on her leg, she kneeled down in front of Lexa who eyed her nervously.
"I'm sorry you had to go through all of this. I've never told anyone about this before, not even Clarke," she shot Clarke an apologetic smile and looked back at Lexa, "so… when I was twelve, my mom died and I ended up in the system as well. I know, I have no idea how it was for you and how you felt, but I know what it's like to be all alone in such a place, where no one really cares about you. I wasn't as lucky as you, no one came to get me out, but somehow, I made it, graduated from High School and immediately started working so I could finally move into my own place when I was eighteen."
She paused for a moment, her eyes still trained on Lexa and Lexa only, but Clarke could see how hard her best friend was trying to fight back the tears.
"So, um… there's something I've talked about with Clarke," Raven continued, putting on a smile when she saw a hint of panic flashing the girl's eyes, to emphasize that this wasn't anything Lexa had to worry about, "she said you're struggling a bit with your roommate?" Lexa tensed up and slowly nodded.
"Okay… well look. I know this might be overwhelming right now, the whole situation here. You've told us your story, which I know was hard enough already. Now I dropped my own story like a bomb, on top of the already heavy moment, but I want you to know that with us, you have nothing to worry about. If you ever need to talk, we're here. All of us," Raven looked at Clarke and Octavia to make sure she was right about this, and was relieved when her friends quickly nodded, "and I think it would be good if you moved out of this dorm. I have a spare room and it's really boring to live alone," she laughed to take some of the tension out of the room, "so if you want, you can move in with me. You don't have to, of course," she added quickly, "but if you want, just know that you're welcome at my place, and you won't have to worry anymore about the things that bug you right now. What do you say?"
Raven ended her speech and one could hear a pin drop in the room. They all knew that this was indeed overwhelming for Lexa, so they gave her the time she needed.
Lexa shifted and Clarke noticed how her breathing picked up on speed, so she quickly took the girl's hand again to ground her a bit. They waited patiently for a long moment, until Lexa opened her mouth, closed it again, and then hesitantly began to speak.
"I… this…you…" Lexa paused and squeezed her eyes shut, trying to calm down and phrase her thoughts. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes. "I'd like that." She finally said with a shy smile.
