Story I – Chapter 15
Hotch sat his pajamas down on the counter by the sink and placed his hands on it as he leaned in and sighed as he looked at his reflection in the mirror. After a moment, he looked back towards the door and thought about the woman on the other side of it. He bit his lip as he closed his eyes and focused on listening to his own heart. It was beating really slowly. What if this makes me where I can't perform? He thought of all of the normal bodily functions needed to make love, and he cringed. God, what if I can't? Maybe that's why Sebastian is alone. Shit!
He shook his head as he got undressed and then moved to the shower. He stopped, though, as he looked back towards the door. I guess there's only one way to find out. He took a deep breath and tried to stimulate himself. After several minutes and not feeling anything, he closed his eyes and imagined the last time he and his wife had made love, but that didn't help either. No!
"Everything alright, Hun?" Kahlan asked as she opened the door.
He turned towards the shower as his cheeks heated at being caught. "Yes. Why wouldn't it be?" he asked as he stepped into the tub.
"Well, I didn't hear the water come on, so I wanted to make sure you hadn't fallen asleep in here," she offered with a grin as she moved closer to him.
"Sorry," he offered quickly. "I'll hurry. I know you have got to be tired."
She studied him. "No more than you, I bet."
He shrugged and bent down and started the water.
She didn't like the way he wouldn't look at her. "Are you sure you're alright, Aaron?"
He took a deep breath and finally met her eyes. "Yeah. I'll just be a moment."
She sighed. "Take your time."
He tried to give her a small smile, but he didn't quite pull it off.
She turned towards the door and then stopped and turned back to him. "You still can."
He frowned. "What?"
She stepped closer and locked eyes with him. "You can still make love to me, Aaron."
He took a shuddering breath. "How do you know?"
She gave him a crooked smile. "Because I asked Sebastian."
He balked as turned the water off and stepped back out of the tub. "You asked him?!"
She sighed. "Calm down. I didn't come out and ask him if you can still get it up, Aaron. I do have a little more tact than that."
He cringed. "What did you say?"
"All I did was ask him if we would still be able to be as close as we've always been, but I think he understood." She put a hand on his chest. "And he assured me we could."
He wilted, though, as he licked his lips. "But I just tired. . ."
She knew he had because she could see how red a certain part of his anatomy was. She shook her head. "Damn, Aaron. Cut yourself some slack! You've had enough stress in the last couple days to put any normal man in a mental institution! It's no wonder your body doesn't want to respond."
He took a deep breath. "You really think that's it?"
She smiled as she cupped the side of his cheek. "Yes, Aaron, and I'm sorry if I pressured you. I just thought it would help you relax, but we both know your brain needs some time to process all of this. Give yourself a chance to get comfortable in your new skin so to speak, and you'll be fine."
His eyes searched hers. "I really hope you're right."
"I am," she insisted as she bent down and turned the hot water back on for him. "No stop worrying about that, get your ass under the water, and try to clear your mind. The rest of the night is for relaxing. After everything you've been through and everything you've learned, you need it."
He smiled as he grabbed the sides of her head with gentle hands. "I love you."
She returned the smile with one of her own. "And I love you."
He pulled her to him and kissed her, softly. Once she pulled away, he gave her another smile. "You know, for some who is so impatient in so many ways, you sure do offer your dumb shmuck of a husband a lot of slack."
She looked at him as if he'd lost his mind. "Shmuck, maybe. . . sometimes, but dumb, never!"
He chuckled. "I don't deserve you."
She huffed. "Ok, now that's dumb!"
He pushed her towards the door. "Get out of here and let me take my shower."
She giggled as she went back out the door and shut it behind her. He sighed as he looked at it. Please let her be right!
XXX
Once he was done, she lifted up the covers and he climbed in beside her. She nestled into her spot and sighed as she started rubbing little circles on his chest. "Feel any better?"
He reached over and cut off the light. "Yes, actually. Thank you."
She smiled against him. "Good, now try to go to sleep, Hun."
He took a deep breath and squeezed her. "Goodnight, Babe. I love you," he told her and then leaned down and kissed the top of her head.
She squeezed him. "Night. I love you, too."
After a few moments, she shifted and he started rubbing her back. After a few more minutes, she shifted again and he frowned. "You alright?"
"Yeah," she offered as she moved and laid beside him instead of on him like normal.
He sat up. "What?" he asked as he turned the light back on.
She shook her head. "It's nothing. Lay back down."
He shook his head. "It's not 'nothing'. I can see it in your face, Kahlan. What's wrong? Am I uncomfortable or something?"
"What? No!"
He cupped her cheek. "Then what is it? Talk to me."
She winced. "I can hear your heart beating."
"And that's nothing new."
She bit her lip. "But it's beating too slow and mines trying to mimic it like always."
He cringed as he wilted. "Shit! I didn't even think about that bothering you. It must be like lying next to a corpse almost."
She grabbed his hand. "It'll just take some getting used to. I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you."
He sighed as he ran his hands down his face. "I am so sorry I've screwed everything up so much."
She smacked his chest and he flinched in surprise. She fixed him with a hard look. "And you know what? I don't care if I never get used to it! I don't care if I have to sleep on the damn floor! I'll do anything I need to do because at least I still have you! If we have to make a few adjustments, then so be it! That's a small price to pay compared to the alternative!"
He took a deep breath and nodded. "You're right." She sighed, and he pulled her into a hug. "We'll get this all figured out."
She nodded against his shoulder and after a moment, he released her and she grinned. "So lie down and roll onto your side. We haven't spooned in a while."
He chuckled. "Yes, Ma'am," he offered and did as he was told and she snuggled her back into his chest. "This work?" he asked as he nestled his chin on her shoulder.
She took a deep breath and he felt her body releasing some of its tension. She nodded. "This feels good."
He reached over and turned out the light and then pulled her even closer to him. "I am sorry for putting you through all of this, Babe."
She rolled over to face him. "You're the one going through it, Aaron. I'm just happy to be along for the ride."
He sighed. "No. You're the one who had to suffer through thinking you'd lost your husband, then him coming back to you, and then finding out why. I can't imagine having to go through something like that." She went to open her mouth but he put a finger over her lips. "All I did was wake up confused and find out what happened. You definitely had the raw end of the deal."
She smiled. "Well. . . What's happened is far better than me getting here and you staying dead. I just pray that this is real and I'm not going to wake up alone tomorrow and find out this was all a dream."
He gave her a small smile. "Me, too."
She pushed on him. "Now be quiet. I'm tired."
He smiled and she rolled over and snuggled back up against him. "I love you, Hun. See you in the morning," she offered and then stifled a yawn.
"Love you, too, Babe. See you in the morning," he agreed and then closed his eyes. Once he felt and heard her heart move into a slower rhythm, he knew she was asleep. He sighed. He was tired but he couldn't get his mind to shut off. So many things were running through it that he almost felt like he was riding a merry-go-round with one of the kids.
The kids. . . He mentally shook his head. What the hell are the kids going to think about this? He huffed. Joey will think it's cool just like her mother, Wyatt might, too, but Jack. . . I'm not sure what Jack will think. As he thought about it, though, he smiled. Although, Jack has learned to love all that stuff just as much as them. He smiled even harder when he imagined all of the kids' reactions and he finally felt his mind clearing. We'll get it all figured out. He told himself and then drifted off to sleep.
XXX
At one point in the night, Kahlan awoke to Hotch twitching and moaning softly. She rolled over and cringed knowing he was having a nightmare. She moved closer and started stroking his hair. "Shhh, Aaron. You're ok," she whispered. She wasn't sure what it was about, but she figured it was Zimmerman's attack. Maybe Sebastian should block that memory again.
She continued to stroke his hair and whisper to him until he calmed down and she smiled as she smoothed out the wrinkle in his brow with a gentle thumb. Even a mighty vampire needs a little comfort now and then. She rolled back over and when he unconsciously pulled her to his chest again, she smiled even more. "Sleep peacefully, My Love."
XXX
When Kahlan awoke again, she was alone in bed and she panicked for a second until the bathroom door opened. Hotch saw her awake and gave her a smile. As he stepped closer to her and when he heard her sigh in relief he was to her in an instant. "I'm sorry. I thought I would be done before you woke."
She smiled. "You may be super-fast, but I can still sense when you're not lying next to me."
He ducked his head sheepishly. "Sorry." He pulled her into a hug and when he released her he smiled. "You want me to run and get you breakfast while you get ready?"
"Get ready?"
He frowned. "You're going back to Sebastian's with me, aren't you?"
"Oh? You want me to go? I thought maybe you wanted some privacy with him."
He huffed. "How would it not be private with you there? We're in this together, Babe."
She smiled. "Alright, I'll go," she agreed knowing he probably wanted another set of ears to help him remember everything. "You want Dave to go, too?"
He smiled. "That'd be nice."
She smiled again. "Then you go make sure he's up, go grab the coffees, and I'll be ready by the time you're back." She got up and pulled on his sleeve as he turned to the door. "But don't actually run. Use the SUV."
He chuckled as he shook his head. "I was planning on it."
She giggled as she grabbed her clothes and headed to the bathroom.
