"Lex?" Clarke stored away the glasses and opened a window to get the scent of their dinner out of her apartment, then turned around to her favorite shy girl. Lexa was sitting at the kitchen table, absentmindedly fiddling with a page of her notebook while she, as Clarke guessed, was trying to come up with a solution for this highly complicated math problem.
"Lexa?" She tried again and finally, the brunette looked at her. "Hey," she smiled, "are you… can I talk to you for a second?" Lexa nodded and closed her book.
"We uh… we should talk about yesterday." Clarke reluctantly approached the topic. This was the last thing Lexa wanted to talk or even think about, Clarke knew this, but the police were waiting for their statements.
"I don't want to talk about yesterday." Lexa frowned and started fiddling with her bracelet.
"I know, Lex, I know. It's just… look, the police need your statement, the sooner the better, and I thought if we talked about it before–"
"I don't want to talk about it!" Lexa exclaimed loudly and slammed her fist onto her leg. Clarke was at her side in record time, kneeling down next to her. She had never seen her like this, and she low–key panicked that the whole situation would overwhelm Lexa, again, but Clarke was sure that with the police around, Lexa's reaction would be even more extreme. She sighed and softened her voice.
"Lexa, this is important. I know you don't want to talk about this, but I think it would be better if you talked to someone about it first before you talk to the police, and since I'll be there too, maybe you could… talk to me, so I know what to expect?"
Lexa slowly started rocking and shook her head. Clarke waited patiently, and gently laid her hand on the brunette's thigh. After a few minutes, Lexa hesitantly nodded.
"I um… I don't really…," she flicked her fingers a few times, desperately searching for words, "I don't know what to say."
Clarke nodded understandingly. "Would it be easier if I ask some questions?"
"I think so."
"Okay…" the blonde paused, hundreds of questions flashing through her mind. How had Quint Woods found her? What did he want? Why had Lexa's reaction been so extreme? What had happened that her parents sent her away? Clarke didn't know where to start.
"Have… have your parents visited you while you were in the children's home?" Lexa shook her head. "Have they ever tried to contact you after they sent you away?"
"No, never."
Clarke frowned, thinking about the other things she wanted to ask. Letting out a soft breath, she continued. "You recognized his voice, didn't you? Even before we saw him. You knew it was him when we were sitting outside the office, right?"
She carefully watched as Lexa blinked a few times, and knew the answer before the girl even spoke.
"I may not be good at many things, but I would n– um. I don't forget voices."
Clarke noticed the slip. She knew what Lexa had stopped herself from saying. She took a long moment, considering her next questions, and whether there was a way to leave this out, but there wasn't, really. Clarke turned her hand, offering Lexa her palm and the brunette took it without thinking.
"Lex… did they really send you away only because of the syndrome?" She asked softly.
"They… I wasn't… I don't know, they…" Lexa struggled to control her breathing and Clarke watched helplessly as the girl raised her hand and hit her forehead a few times, before she jumped back to reality and quickly stopped Lexa.
"Hey, hey… it's okay. You don't have to answer that if you don't know. Don't worry, it's okay," Clarke assured her while keeping the brunette's hands in place in her lap. "Lex, look at me," she said gently, but firmly enough and sighed in relief when the girl reacted and turned her head to look at her.
"I'm here, Lexa. It's aright, you're okay."
Clarke followed Lexa to the couch where the girl snuggled into the blonde, and Clarke protectively put her arms around her girl. Everything was so much worse than she had expected, and Clarke knew that there was no way that Lexa would just march into the police station and give them a statement. She felt anger boil up inside her again. About Quint Woods who had had the audacity to knock down the door back into Lexa's life, and especially about how Lexa's father had looked at her when she was on the ground, panicking; Like she was a pathetic, overreacting little child.
It took Clarke a long while to calm down but eventually, she relaxed when Lexa's soft breathing tickled her neck. Kissing the top of Lexa's head and pulling her a little closer, she decided to call Anya and the police the next day, to ask what to do and to find a solution.
The next two days were unspectacular for the most part. Clarke was busy with school work, and, more often than not, she caught herself wishing she was like Lexa. Not like Lexa in general, because Jeez, falling in love with yourself like that would be utterly awkward, but she wished she could focus on her homework and not get distracted by that extremely interesting spot on the wall next to her laptop every two minutes.
It was Friday afternoon and she was sitting in her living room, debating whether it would be easier to hang herself or just jump out of her window. With an expressive yawn and an even more expressive eye–roll, she closed her laptop and pressed the home button on her phone. No new messages.
After she had tried to talk to Lexa, they had decided to drop the topic, at least for a while, at least until the statements for the police weren't avoidable any longer. Clarke and Anya had exchanged some messages, discussing what to do, and they figured a few days off for Lexa would be a good idea, and for the first time in her life, Clarke thought that Thanksgiving had a perfect timing this year. Lexa would spend the days with her family, and although Clarke dreaded visiting her mom, she mostly felt hopeful; She was sure that Lexa would calm down and be able to relax soon, and that was all that the blonde needed to know.
She unlocked her phone and opened the chat with Lexa, but paused. They both had been incredibly busy and hadn't really talked much since their discussion, and she didn't really know what to say. Taking a deep breath, she slowly began typing.
Clarke (4:09pm): Hey sunshine :) I just wanted to make sure you're okay. When is Anya picking you up today? Hope you're having a good time with your family, feel free to write me anytime! … I really miss you. Maybe we can skype later? xx
She released a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding and closed her eyes, anxiously awaiting a reply. There were so many things she wanted to tell Lexa, so many things she needed to tell her, but she knew right now wasn't the time. First, they had to find a solution for the Quint Woods issue.
Lexa :) (4:16pm): I'd like that. Anya will be here in 14 minutes. I miss you, too. x
Clarke's cheeks immediately twitched into a wide smile. Lexa missed her, too.
