EPISODE SIX: HARVEST
There are two things evident about Jack. The first is that he is not socially experienced. The second is that his stupidity can lead to danger quite easily.
The harvest festival is the celebration held by the (unspecified name) townsfolk every fall, when all the people are encouraged to bring their own ingredient to add to a large stew pot which is later stirred and cooked thoroughly so that everyone can eat and enjoy it. Being a very clueless bunch, off in a secluded town where almost no one cares to venture, the townspeople are nearly as socially dense as our old buddy Jack. It is for that reason, that no one caught on to the dangers of inviting the young farmer to the festival this year.
"And be sure to be on time!" the mayor added cheerfully before leaving Jack's home.
"Yes, sir!" Jack barely paid attention. He had always wondered why he was the only one in town who seemed to lose track of time. This was because Jack did not own a clock or a watch. Idiot.
When Jack shut the door, he realized that this particular festival was going to be his one true chance of the year to prove himself as a capable farmer. A smile began to form across his lips as he imagined the looks on people's faces as he dropped his gorgeous crop into the stew. How jealous they would be, and how the girls would praise him on his efforts. This event could make or break him.
Another knock at the door came suddenly. It was the local fortune teller, come with news of the future from the great beyond. Seeing the familiar face excited Jack very much, and he gave her a big hug before any words could be spoke.
"I come with… let go, I can't breathe. News!" she said in an eerie tone of voice.
"No thanks, I hate reading."
"Not the newspaper, retard! I bring news of the future… stay away from the harvest festival tomorrow! Stay Away!" she warned as she walked away, still staring at the confused boy.
"The midget said to go… so I'm gonna go." Jack blinked his answer to himself. Time to choose a vegetable!
But when Jack looked into the fields, he realized that there were no crops. The idiot still hadn't learned how to manage them, or even where to begin. It seemed he would have to improvise… somehow.
It was a terrible situation, but with absolutely no effort put into his farming duties, it was no wonder he found himself in it. With Ruff by his side, Jack walked into town to try and figure out a solution.
Whence the boy and his dog found their way to the small park consisting of two trees and a garden, Jack sat down to think some more. There were always different things growing up in the mountains, perhaps he could take a look there. Or maybe the fisherman could teach him how to catch fish… (let's thank God that didn't come to pass).
Suddenly, a cloud of smoke circled around the young farmer and a mysterious man appeared out of nowhere.
"Hello, Jack… I've been waiting for you!" the small, crazy man giggled to himself.
"…Jesus?" Jack's mouth hung open in astonishment.
"Erm… not quite. They call me… the peddler!"
Intermission
"Oh, I know you! Didn't you fight Batman?" Jack bounced around excitedly.
"No, that was the Riddler. I am here to save you from failure, Jack. Think of me as a more masculine fairy godmother of sorts. I have something that will be of great value to you." The little man smiled widely.
"Gimme, gimme, gimme!" Jack held out his hands to the stranger.
"Uh, uh, uh! Not so fast, Jack. It wouldn't be fair for me to give these valuable items to you for nothing, don't you agree?"
"No."
The peddler now looked somewhat un-amused. "These Rare seeds cost 2000 gold. If you don't pay up, I'm afraid I cannot give them to you."
Jack considered this for a moment. If this man had been waiting for him, he must know a lot of things. If he knew so much, then why the hell didn't he know that Jack was broke?
"Something smells fishy." Jack crinkled his nose at the man.
"Oh? I don't know what you are talking about."
"I mean you stink. You should shower." Jack instructed sincerely.
"Yes, well… I guess I'll be off to go do that. Unless…"
"Okay, bye!" Jack turned away.
"Wait!" the peddler yelled. "Unless there were another way for you to pay me." He said, smiling ever so sinisterly.
Jack thought long and hard for an answer, but couldn't think of one.
"Tell me," the peddler continued. "What is your most prized possession?"
"What's that?"
"The thing of most value in which you own."
Jack was even more confused now.
"What's the bestest thing in the entire world?" the peddler was getting annoyed.
"Ruff!" Jack held his dog high in the air.
"Ah, well then perhaps we have a deal?" the peddler giggled again happily.
"What deal?"
"My seeds for your dog."
"How about you pay me 2000 gold for my dog, then I pay you 2000 gold for the seeds, and then we can sit down and sing a song!" Jack liked this idea better, it was much more fair.
"I don't have two thou… very well." The peddler used a chocolate coin in place of the gold, knowing Jack wouldn't know the difference at all. With that, he gave the rare seeds to Jack and disappeared into another cloud of smoking, laughing loudly to no one in particular.
"What a nice criminal." Jack began the venture home.
Upon returning to the farm, Jack buried the seeds under the soil and watered them in hopes that they would bloom into wondrous vegetables the next day.
Yeer: 1 Munth: 3 Day: 11
I lost mi dog but I got seeds 4 him. I feel bad but I no that u will bee praood uv me 4 it win tomoro I will b the bestest at the festvl.
Jack woke up bright and early the next day and ran outside as fast as he could to see what had happened in his fields. To his surprise, something had actually grown overnight… flowers. Studying them hard for a moment, Jack tried to think of any sort of situation in which the townsfolk may let him put any sort of plant into the stew. Even Jack wasn't that stupid.
"He… took my puppy." Jack had tears in his eyes now, never before had he seen this dark side of life. He was duped. There was only one thing he could do now, and that was to get even with the mysterious stranger he had met the day before.
With no dog at his side, the sad boy walked back inside his house to plan his revenge.
Intermission
The harvest festival began in the middle of town square, where most of the yearly festivals were held. As expected, the evil peddler had shown up to try and talk the citizens into buying his rare seeds; but Jack was ready for him.
As the day went on, the people chatted and laughed and drank while the newly arrived guests dropped their offerings into the large pot of stew. The peddler, ofcourse, had nothing to offer of his own, nor did the little weasel think twice about his rude gesture. Most of the townsfolk were smart enough to walk away from him when offered a bargain, but it was Nina that fell victim to his lies first, angering Jack from behind a wall as he hid away from the eyes of the people.
Seeing that the peddler had caught the attention of the cute girl, Jack knew that this was the time to strike. Jumping from out of his hiding space in a costume he had been saving for Halloween this month, Jack surprised his enemy.
"Stop, villain!" he called out to the peddler. The people all stopped what they were doing to look at Jack in his ridiculous outfit, consisting of his regular everyday clothes, a small mask, and a cape.
"Who are you?" the peddler inquired.
"Oh, for the love of all things holy…" the fortune teller could be heard from the crowd. "Son of a bitch just won't listen! I'm going home!" she stormed off.
"I am the great… Farm Boy!" Jack announced. " I have come to get my doggy, my mean, my dog back!"
"Oh, it's just you." The peddler laughed. "You look ridiculous!"
"No, you look ridickis!"
"Jack, is that you?" the mayor stepped forward.
Darn! Farm Boy thought to himself. My secret identity has been found out! I have to think fast!
"Nope."
"Prove it!" the mayor cocked his eyebrow in suspicion.
In one almost fluid motion, Farm Boy kicked the mayor in his special area and watched as the poor mayor fell to the ground in pain.
"It isn't Jack!" the mayor announced, shocking the townsfolk into loud gasps.
"Clever move, hero! Let's see how you fair against my bag of wonders!" the peddler threw his sack of mystery at Farm Boy, which he then tripped over and fell to the ground helplessly.
"It has been a pleasure, Farm Boy, but I really must be leaving." The peddler said as a ball of smoke exploded at his feat.
"Not so fast!" Farm Boy ran into the smoke to catch the evil fiend before he could get away, but alas, he was too late. It was impossible to see through the thick blanket of smoke, and Farm Boy swung wildly about him.
"Ow, who hit me?" Nina whined.
"Sorry, I mean… it was the bad guy!"
"Farm Boy?"
"No, the peddler!"
"Why is he the bad guy? Farm Boy kicked the mayor in the balls." Nina said angrily.
"I just don't like him." Farm boy dismissed her.
Out of the thick fog, Farm Boy was kicked hard in the stomach and fell to the ground once again, this time in pain.
"You don't give up, do you, Farm Boy?" the peddler laughed.
"You took my dog! For that you must die!" Farm Boy lunged at the shadowy figure with all his weight, knocking the villain down.
"Ahh! You have found my weakness, physical violence!" the peddler cringed in hatred. Farm Boy held him tightly, refusing to let go.
With all of his strength, the peddler wiggled free and got up to run away. Farm Boy reached out and grabbed hold of the evil man's foot, tripping him. He fell right into the boiling pot of stew which he knocked over, spilling it all over the church-going boy from down the street.
"Wahh!" the boy cried as the stew burned his skin horrifically.
Phew, Farm Boy sighed in relief. Good thing no one likes that kid.
Farm Boy then continued to beat the living crud out of his enemy until the peddler finally gave in and swore to return the dog to him immediately.
"I'll bring him to Jack's farm, just don't hurt me any more!" the peddler cried and ran away.
The crowd cheered for the new hero and Farm Boy took a bow.
"Whenever there is trouble… don't bother calling me. I'm busy." Farm Boy disappeared.
Minutes later, Jack returned to the festival in without his disguise on. The people were all talking about the events that had just unfolded, and everyone was eager to tell Jack the amazing story. Bored, he walked away. As usual.
Intermission
Upon his return home, Jack was happy to find that Ruff had been returned safe and sound. He hugged him tightly and promised he'd never pawn the poor animal ever again. With the stew being knocked over, no one had realized that Jack had forgotten to bring anything for it, and the rest of the festival had been a fun celebration. He chatted with all of the girls, ignored most of the elders, and enjoyed thoroughly his run in with the evil peddler.
Jack had established himself as a true hero amongst the town, and even though they didn't know it was him, he was satisfied.
Tired out from the long day, Jack picked up his journal and began to write in it.
Yeer: 1 Munth: 3 Day: 12
Batman aynt got nuthin on me.
THE END
(Perhaps we'll be seeing more of Farm Boy in the future…)
