This is an alternate beginning for Dick's first day out as Robin in the YJ verse. Major angst warning.
It was what he wanted to do. It was what he needed to do. Make Zucco pay for what he'd done.
Now maybe if he said it enough he'd believe it.
He had meant to kill Zucco. He had. Then Bruce - Batman - had arrived as Dick held Zucco over the building. And Dick had dropped the rope keeping Zucco up.
The sound of Zucco's shriek and his body hitting the cement seven stories below should have made Dick feel better. It should have made him happy. It didn't.
Now he was sitting next to Bruce in the Batmobile being driven back to the Manor. Or the Batcave.
"I'm not sorry," Dick said, looking out the window at the city going by. "He deserved it."
"You're nine years old, Dick," Bruce said. He sounded angry. "You don't get to decide who deserves anything. That's not your job."
"You do it every night," Dick said, finally turning to look at Bruce. "You beat up people every night. You throw them in jail."
"But I know what they've done. And I don't choose whether they live or die, Dick. That's not for us to decide."
"I know what he did," Dick snarled. "He killed them! He's the reason I don't have my parents! He's the reason for everything! I hated him and he deserved it!"
"Dick, people who kill go to jail," Bruce said. "It doesn't matter why most of the time. They go to jail."
"I'm nine," Dick said. "If you brought me to the police you'd give away who you are. I could tell them. And they would believe it was self-defense. I could just tell them he was going to push me off and I dodged and did it to him instead."
"Think about this, Dick," Bruce said. "You took someone's life tonight. You don't come back from that. I'm not going to turn you in. And not because you know who I am. Because you need help."
"I don't need help," Dick said stubbornly, ignoring the tears welling in the corners of his eyes. The sinking feeling in his gut. "I don't need anything."
"Did it make you feel better?" Bruce asked. "Killing Zucco?"
Dick froze. Harsh, angry words died on his lips. Did it? Did it really? Had it made him feel better at all? Just as Bruce pulled to a complete stop in the Batcave, the dam broke and Dick started sobbing.
Dimly, he felt a warm, big pair of arms wrap around him in an awkward, stiff hug. Dick put his arms around Bruce, squeezing tightly and sobbing more. He was only nine. And he'd killed a man.
"Robin. Robin. Robin!"
Dick shook his head. "Sorry, what was that, guys? I wasn't paying attention."
"I said it was your turn. What was your first time out as Robin like?" Wally asked.
And it had to be Wally. Wally knew Dick was Robin. He knew his secret ID. Wally didn't know who had killed Tony Zucco. Like everyone else in the world except for Bruce and Alfred, Wally thought Tony Zucco had just fallen off the building by a stroke of bad luck or suicide. Wally had no way to know what had happened that first patrol. None of the Team did.
"It was boring," Dick said simply. "How about you, Conner? How was your first time going out with Superman?"
My thought process was that Bruce didn't turn Damian to the cops when Damian beheaded someone, so he's not going to turn a traumatized nine-year-old to the cops. Let me know what you think!
