Harumi was looking through her dresser cabinet for her favorite hair pin, disgruntled at the way nothing could ever stay organized in her room. "What a mess, I should organize all of this!" She stressed, looking through all the loose objects that a girl keeps around in her main desk drawer, doodads and other colorful little things. There were scrunchies, keychains, and streamers, perhaps from elementary school. 'God,' she thought, I should throw some of this stuff away. "What a mess. Ugh." She painted her nails that morning and was afraid of doing damage by scratching or chipping anything. She was getting desperate and wanted the thing she was looking for. Being late was not acceptable at school, and the thing should've been easy enough to find. Luckily, the two internal minds of dreariness and tiredness of that morning came together, and her eyes finally noticed what she was looking for. "Her you are," and she pulled it up with a claw like grip. Today would go smoothly now with her lucky hair clip with the leopard print that deviously hid in her bun.

She tied her hair up into one big knot. She didn't like going to school messy like Matsuri, or Yuzu these days, who was so hang dog she was barely there. It was good to show a little fashion, even in a girls' school. She dressed very neatly in her uniform, and she looked everything over in the mirror before realizing she was ready to go. She walked out into the hallway and saw where her sister had left her door open after heading off to work. Her TV was still on, with some wonky yoga program where the ladies were doing planks and sit-ups. Harumi quickly walked in to shut it off and put Mitsuko's yoga mat away. Her parents hated it when her older sister left a mess in the morning. Maybe she was late.

On top of her sister's dresser, she suddenly noticed a picture of both her and her friend Kayo. Mitsuko had her arm around Kayo's shoulder and a smile with a peace sign. The long arm was draped around her shoulder, normal, but something was just a bit off. It was uncharacteristic of her controlling sister to be so chummy in the first place. Harumi had no idea her sister was this close with Kayo, a former classmate on the student council. She didn't doubt her sociability around her, since Mitsuko had always been a very loving sister. But Mistuko was also known for never acting friendly. Kayo had her glasses on, it must have been during summer break, it was at a beach she knew that was close. Grey skies and big clouds made the image very clear. They both had bathing suits on and zip-on sweatshirts over their shoulders, which surprisingly were matching greys with blue athletic logos. The sweatshirts looked new. Both had grins on their faces, but there was a detachment to the veneer.

'That's weird,' Harumi thought, 'When did Mitsuko have time to go to the beach? And with Kayo?' Her sister was usually so taciturn that she barely even said hello to classmate or strangers. It was practically a wild side of her sister that she had barely known. Harumi thought of the moment when her sister had angrily slapped a note pad out of a girl's hands when they were both still at school, Mistuko being student council president. Her sister longed to control and manipulate people, but she did her best to avoid her when necessary. 'Buddies' and friends had never been her deal. It was progress, but still there was something.

She stuffed her sister's yoga mat into the closet and noticed one of her coats leaking out with a piece of paper hanging out. Harumi couldn't help snooping and tore the letter out immediately. Her curiosity was burning. She couldn't ever reconcile the masterful sister at school with her friend at home and was sniffing an obvious trail right now. There was a big red lip stain on the bottom of the page that stood out, a kiss from a lover. Today was the day she would reinvent her sister.

"Dear Mitsuko,

It was wonderful to see you after all this time. Do you remember the days we spent in student council? You used to barely act like I was there. It felt good to feel you embrace me last Sunday. Your hug was nice. You kissed me on my bare neck and it felt A-MA-ZING. (;

I know your family responsibilities stress you out. Your mom has been stressing about a partner, so don't let this letter fall into the wrong hands. I wanted to write this all out because I knew you were busy at work in Kyoto and wouldn't have time to see me for a few weeks. Your kiss meant everything to me. Hanging out with you again, and finding out that you loved me, scared me. I've always been scared of you. But I always had a crush on you too. You've acknowledged me again, and I'm so proud of you for showing your interest in me.

I thought about you a lot after we graduated, I even took pictures of you in your gown and saved them in my phone. They were my treasure. When you contacted me on Facebook, and suddenly we were meeting again, it brought a warm feeling to my chest.

I ache to call you a lover, because that is what I want to be. I long to see you again,

My love,

The seasons will change soon, and it will be warm enough to go to that beach again, where you held me so tight and kissed me for the very first time. Please keep working hard and focus on your career, catching my attention after you graduated took bravery. Please, don't feel bad for not mentioning it when we were both still in school. I long for you to crane your long neck to my level, and to feel your lips upon mine,

When I meet you again, I might not be able to control myself.

But I will wait, like always, because you are so worth it.

Hoping to be your close lover soon,

Kayo."

Harumi had a look of express regret and remorse. Reading this secret letter had just changed her life, and she couldn't begin to guess how much. She had always suspected her sister was different in a controlling way, a mastermind even. But girls? Liking other girls? She put her head down and sobbed, the letter was utterly gorgeous and heartfelt. It was like graduation day all over again, with girls explaining their feelings to each other in secret nooks of the hallway, caught amongst the shadows. Secret affairs being explained, loves and adorations. Harumi thought of the arranged marriage she knew her mother was planning for Mitsuko. This letter was light a death stare. The lipstick kiss at the end was a huge hint, her sister was likely in love. Was she caught in a snare? Was it honest? She couldn't have ever imagined this.

Just then her mother called out to her from below, down in the kitchen next to the bottom of the stairs in their house, "Harumi, you'll be late!" Harumi's eyes shocked open, she looked down at her watch and realized the time. Forty-five minutes until school. "Crap." She breathed in, and exclaimed, "OK!" She waltzed out of the room, her feet had fallen asleep in her dread. This was crazy, and she was having a tough time breathing at all.

Just then she realized she still had the letter in her hands! She was sweating over it profusely, like her world had broken. She folded it up rudely, not thinking of the new creases she was leaving over the original folds, "Crap. Shit crap." She didn't want her sister to know she knew about everything. She carefully undid her idiotic, stream of consciousness emergency strains against the words in her hand and rolled it back out flat on the desk with her palm. She tried not to smear the words and handle it at the corners. She refolded it as nicely as possible—bit of a bull in a china shop with her clumsy hands though. She stuffed it all back into the jacket with a huff and rushed downstairs. The utter romance of the letter had left her confused. Kayo had written such beautiful language to her sister who was a woman, that she was having a challenging time walking. She didn't wonder that Mitsuko had likely through the same—they were sisters after all, and both women, with obvious things that still got to both of them. If it had affected her like this, then there was no wonder how the letter had become stained and held onto for an entire year. Harumi stooped to collect her bento and umbrella. "They said it might rain later!" chortled her mother, waking Harumi out of her daze. "Alright," replied Harumi sheepishly, making her mother eye her suspiciously, and hurried out towards the station.

It was windy and sunny. She would have enough time if she hurried.