Chapter 42

Kahlan inhaled deeply as she stretched. She had slept wonderfully and she had a smile on her face. Her smile faded, though, when she realized Hotch's side of the bed was still neat signaling that he hadn't come to bed. She looked around the room with furrowed brows. As she looked at the alarm clock, she frowned even more. I've only been asleep for two hours? She knew she had gotten to bed a little after one, and the clock told her it was only 3:42.

She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and hit the light on her watch. Fuck! It's 3:42 pm? She threw the covers back, jumped out of bed, and ran to the window. As she pulled the curtains back, she winced at the harsh sunlight that filled the room. Son of a bitch! How the hell did I sleep over fourteen hours?

She sighed, pulled the curtains closed again, and then ran a hand through her hair. She shook her head as she went towards the bedroom door.

It opened before she got to it, and Hotch smiled when he saw her. He had a cup of coffee in his hand. "Morning, Beautiful."

She huffed and folded her arms across her chest.

"What?" he asked as he wilted a little.

"Why the hell did you let me sleep that long?" she demanded to know.

He gave her a crocked smile. "It's fine. I got the kids up and got them off to school, I called Chuck and he told me there wasn't anything going on today that he couldn't handle without you, and then I called Dave and told him I wouldn't be in."

She still looked at him. "That didn't answer the question, Aaron."

He sat the coffee on his nightstand and went to her as he took a deep breath. "You obviously needed it, Babe." She opened her mouth to argue, but he put a finger over her lips. "Even though you were trying your best to hide it, you were still shaky after taking your shower, Kahlan. Your body needed a chance to recover after what I did to you."

She sighed and slowly shook her head.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine, Aaron." He studied her trying to decide if really believed her or not, and she huffed. "You want me to do a backflip or a cartwheel right here to prove it?"

He grinned. "I don't think that's necessary. Your heart is finally beating normally again."

She rolled her eyes.

He leaned down and kissed her. "I was worried about you, sue me."

She leaned back and locked eyes with him and after a moment, she huffed. "You're still worried."

He let her go and turned to get the mug he'd brought up.

"Aaron!"

"What?" he asked as he held it out to her.

She sighed through her nose. "You still feel guilty about last night."

"You hungry? I should fix. . ." he started as he turned to the door.

"Aaron Jackson Hotchner! Don't you dare turn away from me and act like you didn't hear me!"

His shoulders drooped and he turned back towards her and she shook her head. "You weren't just worried about me and letting me sleep because you thought I needed it, you stayed home from work to fawn over me to try and make up for last night."

He tried to look shocked. "I was worried about you! After the way my feeding affected you. . ."

"And if you can hear my heart now, you could have heard it while I was sleeping and you would have known way before now when I was alright."

He bit his lip as his eyes cut to the side. He'd never admit it, but he had checked on her every hour all though the night doing just that.

"And once you knew I was alright, you could have gone to work, even if I stayed home."

He sighed. Why do I even try to deny it? She always knows what I'm thinking.

She went to him and caressed his cheek. "Why do you still feel bad about last night, Hun. I told you. . ."

He pulled away from her. "Because the more I thought about it, the more it scared me, Babe," he admitted weakly.

She inhaled deeply. "I am going to go to the bathroom, I am going to get dressed, and then we are going to talk about this, Aaron."

He nodded. "I'll fix you some breakfast first. You must be hungry."

She rolled her eyes, but gestured towards the kitchen. "Go ahead. I'm sure you won't leave me alone about it until I do."

He huffed. "Like you haven't hounded me about eating for years!"

She smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Yep. That's what people do when they love each other."

He smiled and kissed her the end of her nose. "Yep."

She giggled as she pulled away and started for the bathroom as she pulled her shirt off. He followed her with the intent of actually giving her the coffee he had made for her, but when she turned to shut the door, coffee erupted everywhere as Hotch's hand tightened involuntarily. "Oh my God, Babe!" he exclaimed as his eyes shot open.

Her face almost mirrored his she rushed to him and started drying his hand and arm off with her shirt. "What the hell, Aaron? Are you alright?"

His face was a mix of concern, pity, and self-hatred. "I am so sorry!"

"It's fine, Hun. It's not like we don't have plenty of mugs," she started as she bent to pick up the pieces of the shattered ceramic.

He tugged on her shoulder to bring her back upright. "Not for the mug, for those!" he insisted as his eyes filled.

Her eyes showed her confusion until she followed his gaze down and then winced at what had his attention: massive, deep purple bruises graced the front of both of her hips. "Aaron. . ."

He shook his head as he squatted down to get a better look at them. "I can't believe. . ."

She grabbed his chin and made him look up at her. "It's fine, Aaron." She gave him a devilish grin. "Just next time you want to take me on your desk like that, give me a pillow first."

He cringed as his eyes shut, knowing the force he had to have been using as he slammed into her over and over again had to have been extreme to leave bruises like that. "I'm. . . Babe. . ."

She grabbed the top of his hair and pulled roughly until he looked up at her again. "It's fine, Aaron! Get your ass off the floor and stop!"

He sighed as he pushed himself up, but then he spun her to get a look at her completely. She had several other bruises that were clearly where his fingers had dug into her and she was still littered with faint ones from the first time they had had sex. While the bruises were bad, the bite on her shoulder worried him even more as it was welted up and angry red. He swallowed hard and pulled up on her right knee to inspect the bite on her thigh and it looked even worse. His whole body wilted. "I should never ha. . ."

She grabbed the sides of his face and forced him to look her in the eyes. "I don't want to hear it! Jesus, Aaron, I look better than you did after that time I used and abused you at the hotel while you were still on your case!"

A tear trickled down his cheek, and she wiped it away with her thumb. "Please stop, Hun. You didn't do anything wrong, and you didn't do anything that I didn't want you to do."

"But I've put more marks on you since this whole thing has started than you. . ." He shook his head. "You're just lucky I haven't seriously injured you or something!"

"Stop!" she insisted and then took a deep breath. "I am going to go in there, do my thing, and get dressed. You are going to clean up this mess and then go fix me another cup of coffee and then we are going to sit down and talk about this, Aaron."

He sighed as he nodded. "Yes, Ma'am."

She reached up and kissed his cheek and then went into the bathroom and shut the door. The main reason she wanted to get ready was so that he would look at her and not the wounds she had scattered all over her.

He bent down and picked up the pieces of the mug as he looked at the closed door between them. "Put something on those bites," he demanded loud enough that he knew she would hear him. "It'd be my luck they'll get infected or something," he added more to himself.

The door cracked opened and she fixed him with a hard look. "Do you want me to smack you?"

He huffed as his eyes locked with hers. "I deserve it."

She shook her head. "One of these times, Aaron, one of these times. . ."

XXX

Once she had finished with her morning routine and got dressed, she found Hotch in the kitchen mixing an omelet. She walked up behind him, saw what he was doing, and huffed. "I said we were going to talk about this first, Aaron." The whisk stilled in his hand as he drew in a breath and she knew he was about to argue so she cut back in. "The kids will be here anytime, and I want to discuss this before they get home." Once she finished she looked at her watch and frowned. "Actually, they should already be here. Where the hell are the kids?"

He turned to her as he held up a hand. "I had Jessica pick them up from school. I wasn't sure how long you were going to sleep, and I wanted the house quiet to let you get all you could."

She sighed as she shook her head. "Aaron. . ."

"But you need to eat, Kahlan. You haven't eaten for almost nineteen hours. You need nourishment just as much as you needed sleep." She went to argue but he smirked. "I can hear your stomach growling, Kahlan."

She folded her arms across her chest and stared him down. "Then I will agree to eat whatever you want to make me after we sit down and discuss this."

His eyes narrowed as he studied her. "Everything I make?"

She could tell it was going to be a large amount, but she was hungry, so she smiled and nodded. "Promise."

"Alright," he told her as he moved the bowl he had been mixing to the fridge and then handed her a cup of coffee. She took it and moved towards the island, but he wrapped his arm around her waist and steered her to the family room. "You'll be more comfortable on the couch."

She sighed, but let him led her and she settled herself in the middle of the couch and waited for him to sit down next to her. Once he did, she grabbed his hand and looked at him. "What about last night is such a problem, Aaron?"

He cringed and shook his head. "Kahlan. . ."

"Did you lose control?"

He huffed. "No. I remember every. . ." A shudder ran through him, and she had to bite back a smile. He took a deep breath. "Every detail about last night is very clear, unlike that incident when I protected Dave. I still can't remember throwing that man against the wall, but I remember everything I did to you."

"And?" she asked as she tried to lock eyes with him but with the distant look in his eyes that he wasn't really seeing anything except memories.

After a moment, he shook his head and shrugged. "And I don't like the way I acted last night."

"Why?"

"Babe. . ."

She moved so they were looking at each other more directly. "I pushed you into that, Aaron, and you didn't do anything I didn't want you to do."

He snorted and got up. "But what if you wouldn't have?"

She frowned. "What do you mean?"

He turned to her. "What if you didn't like the way I acted? What if you had wanted me to stop and I didn't?"

She sighed. "Aaron. . . I told you that I thought it was hot as hell. I told you. . ."

"But what if you didn't?"

She stood up and advanced to him. "If I had wanted you to stop, Aaron, you would have stopped."

He licked his lips as he looked away from her. "I'm not so sure."

"You would never hurt me, Aaron. I trust you with my life."

He looked at her and the doubt she saw in his eyes made her heart clench, and he rolled his eyes. "And yet, the only other time I have ever been aggressive you wanted me to stop and I didn't and you had to knock my ass out."

She stepped back from him as shock filled her face. "And you were drugged, Aaron! That can't even be counted!"

He stepped to her and put his hands on her waist. "But you were able to make me stop then, Babe, and now you couldn't. If you had wanted me to stop, and I was so caught up in it that I didn't hear you, or didn't care, or. . ."

Her brows shot up. "Oh my God! That's what this is about?"

His eyes narrowed as he studied her.

"You think I'm defenseless against you now, that I couldn't stop you from doing something I really didn't want you to do?"

He smirked. "Well, really, Babe, you wouldn't stand a chance against me now."

She nodded in acquiescence. "I know, beyond a doubt, that if you wanted to that you could hurt or even kill me, Aaron. Your speed, your strength. . . I wouldn't stand a chance. I know that."

He cringed, but he nodded.

"I said if you really wanted to," she pointed out as she moved towards the door.

"What are you doing?" he asked as he followed her.

She moved her back up against her door and raised her arms up over her head. "I was sort of like this, right?"

His eyes trailed up and down her and he bit his lip obviously remembering.

"Right?" she asked again.

He blew out a breath because he knew what she was doing and he wanted to prove his point, so he was to her in an instant and had her pushed up against the door. "Yeah," he started as he held her hands in place. "And you couldn't get away from me if you tried."

She rolled her eyes. "You weren't holding my hands most of the time last night, Aaron, and you didn't tie me up. I could move them just fine."

He licked his lips as he studied her, but he nodded and let her hands go. "But you still couldn't move me," he told her. "And I'm not even putting all of my weight on you right now. Last night, I had you pinned."

She nodded her agreement. "But if I didn't like what you were doing," she started as she reached down to his shoulders and pushed on him. "I would have waited until your focus was elsewhere."

"Alright," he offered as he went to his knees. "But I was still holding you," he pointed out as he grabbed her like he had the night before. "You still couldn't get away from me."

She smiled. "Not while you were conscious," she offered lightly as her hand moved to his shoulder, and before he knew it, she pinched his neck and he went limply to the floor. She sighed as she knelt down next to him. "I'm sorry, Hun, but you wouldn't have believed I could do it so I had to prove it to you," she uttered as she stroked his hair and her eyes watered. I can't believe I have done that twice now.

She reached up to wipe a tear away and he suddenly flinched awake with a hiss in full vampire mode causing her to startle so badly that she fell back into the door. "Son of a bitch!" she uttered as her head connected with the wood with a bang and she winced.

He shook his head as he sat up forcing himself to change back and then noticed what had happened and was to her. "I'm sorry. I didn't to scare you, Babe," he assured her as he ran gentle fingers over her head.

She forced his hands away. "I'm fine. I just wasn't expecting you to jump up like that." She wilted as she looked at him. "I'm sorry I did that. I jus. . ."

He smiled, though, as he pulled her up. "No! I'm glad you did it. I'm glad you still can!"

She sighed. "Aaron. . ."

"No, Kahlan. I spent most of the night and today so scared that I had forced you into that, and you were lying when you said it was alright because you didn't want me to feel bad. Knowing you can still protect yourself from me. . ." He smiled even more as he took her face in his hands. "That really takes a load off my mind. Thank you."

She rolled her eyes. And then I am not about to tell you that didn't even last for a minute. "I would never have to go to that extreme, Aaron. If I had wanted you to stop, you would have. You would never hurt me consciously." He went to argue, but she put a finger over his lips. "You would have sensed I was scared, Aaron. You would have known, and you would have stopped."

He half shrugged. "And I tried to convince myself of that last night, but knowing you can still stop me makes me feel even better."

She smiled. "So no more guilt?"

He grinned. "No."

"Good," she told him and leaned up and kissed him. "Then now you can fix me breakfast, or a late lunch, or hell, I guess it could even be considered an early dinner."

He chuckled as he grabbed her hand and led her towards the kitchen. "Yep."

He frowned, though, once he opened the fridge to retrieve the bowl of beaten eggs, and he looked at her. "How did you know that would still work?"

She giggled as smiled. "It's only logical that if your pleasure points still work, then your pressure points still do, too." And apparently your healing powers help you recover extremely fast, she didn't add.

His left brow rose as he thought about it and then smiled. "That makes sense."

She shook her head.