Author's Note: Ok, I lied. I had to do another chapter. Also, MAJOR angst warning! The happy fun times aren't starting just yet as I realized I had one more chapter to go before then. Also, major warning for abuse and character death. If you don't want to read this, it's ok. You can read up the parts where it goes all in italics. The italics are super sad! You are warned! Also, the italics are memories. I knew I was going to show them eventually, and I knew for sure that the beginning one and the ending one would be in there, but I didn't realize that all the rest would be so.. depressing. I promise I'll have something happier up for the next chapter after we get through all the angst.
As for reviews, I like the idea of Jamie and Jack bonding and that will definitely happen soon. Since Twister was a drabble idea, that won't come until after the end of the story, but I can definitely squeeze that in somewhere. :)
Remember, if you want to avoid the sadness, don't read the italics! It'll explain a bit in the next chapter what happened, if you don't want to read the specifics of it.
Chapter Twenty-Seven: Dreams & Memories
Jack flew through Burgess, headed straight for Pitch's lair. A grin lit up his face as he thought.
Finally, finally things were back to normal. No more Pitch acting strange and no more sad Lillian. No more avoiding Pitch.
He couldn't wait to get back to the lair. Maybe they would all have tea!
As these happy thoughts filled his head, he suddenly noticed all the golden streams of dreamsand that were flying through the air.
His heart swelled as he took in the sight.
Sandy was nearby spreading dreams again.
He had really missed Sandy.
His grin faded a bit as he remembered Sandy dying.
That look on Pitch's face as he stood there, mocking Sandy who was dying...
"Oof!" Jack exclaimed as he flew straight into a certain golden cloud with a thud.
He landed unceremoniously on the cloud on his back, looking a little dazed.
As he blinked, the worried face of Sandy filled his vision as Sandy leaned down over him.
Jack sat up and rubbed his head.
"Sorry Sandy, I uh.. I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going," Jack admitted.
A golden question mark appeared above Sandy's head, as he was curious what was on Jack's mind to distract him.
Jack, guessing at what Sandy wanted to know, shook his head looking very somber for a moment.
"..It's.. it's nothing," he lied.
He shook his head and hitched a smirk on his face, but Sandy recognized the smirk finally for what it was. It was the look that Jack got when he didn't want anyone to know how he was really feeling.
A defense mechanism.
Why hadn't they noticed it before?
He remembered that Jack often got that look when he was interacting with the Guardians and he internally winced.
It made him feel like a failure, like they hadn't been there for poor Jack at all.
And little Lillian, living all this time with Pitch Black and they didn't know!
Sandy gave Jack a piercing look and Jack looked uncomfortable, realizing that Sandy was probably going to scold him for him rejecting the Guardians.
Several golden symbols appeared above Sandy's head: A snowflake, a spring flower and finally a golden Pitch with a big question mark following it?
Jack blinked in surprise, not expecting that at all. He looked at the symbols and frowned a bit. The meaning was pretty clear: How do you two know Pitch?
Jack shifted his gaze from the symbols back to Sandy. How much should he tell? Pitch had expressly forbidden them from telling anyone, but now Lillian let the cat out of the bag..
With a sigh, he began to explain their relationship with Pitch.
"Pitch is the one who found Lillian first," Jack explained. "He saw her become the Child of Spring, a new spring spirit. He was waiting for the Guardians to come help her, since she was a child spirit but nobody ever showed up, so he took her in."
Sandy's shoulders slumped at that. He remembered the night that Manny's moonlight had lit up on the symbol for spring, but they hadn't been able to figure out what he meant.
"Shortly after that, Lillian accidentally met me at my lake. It's hard to explain, but.. Pitch is different with her. Lillian didn't have anyone else and she seemed very childlike when she was first turned into a spirit." Jack looked to the side, looking very vulnerable at the moment. "She was my only friend besides the wind at the time. She was the first person to really believe in me."
Jack's words were like a slap to the face to Sandy. For hundreds of years they had ignored Jack, assuming he was just some terrible trouble maker and that he wasn't worth their time.
They didn't just neglect one child either, they neglected two. They would have done exactly the same thing to Lillian if Pitch hadn't come along.
Sandy looked uncomfortable at that thought as Jack continued.
Jack hugged his staff to his chest as he spoke. He wasn't sure why he was telling all this to Sandy, but Sandy was the only other spirit (besides Pitch and Lillian) who was sort of his friend, and he was so relieved to have Sandy back alive again.
"There was an accident at my lake with Lillian's powers, and I had to save her from drowning," he shivered at the thought, "and she got sick. I started visiting her at Pitch's lair and things.. kinda evolved from there. Pitch barely tolerated me being there, and then he kinda.. I dunno, we talked. He started being kinda.. nice to me."
Sandy looked pretty surprised at that. Pitch Black, nice?
"So we started hanging out more and more, and then.." Jack shrugged, looking embarrassed. "We became a family. That winter, Lillian and I made a mess of Pitch's globe room because Lillian wanted to decorate for Christmas. Pitch was pretty upset, but when he saw how important it was to Lillian, we cleaned up the mess and decorated with real decorations. After that, we started celebrating all the holidays together."
Jack smiled at the memory, his eyes shining.
"I never had anyone to celebrate with before." He looked up at Sandy, suddenly serious. "That's why they can't take her away from Pitch, Sandy. Pitch is like her dad.." Jack blushed and ducked his head a bit. "He's been like a dad to the both of us. Without him, we don't have our family."
Sandy was shocked. He knew something was going on with the three of them, but he never suspected that! Although now that he thought about it, he should have realized.
"You won't let them take Lillian away from Pitch, right?" Jack asked. "I know they care about her more than me, but it would break her heart to be taken away forever. Pitch would never hurt or scare her. She's the one kid that he protects and looks after."
Sandy gave Jack a sad smile. Golden symbols appeared above his head to tell Jack that the other Guardians cared about him too. He explained that everything was probably just one big misunderstanding and that things would work out.
Jack looked away at that.
"You weren't there.." he whispered brokenly to Sandy. "You didn't see the looks on their faces. They.. they wouldn't listen to me and Bunny-"
Jack stopped as his voice broke.
Sandy was startled to see unshed tears in Jack's eyes.
Jack shook his head and stood up.
"I have to go, I'll be late getting back."
Without a backward glance, Jack called the wind and flew away.
Pitch was wandering around the lair, absently looking to see if anything was out of place. It seemed all was in order, except for a particularly dark room. He had looked inside, but he couldn't find anything other than it felt like something evil had been in there.
With a shiver he would never admit to having, he quickly closed the door and reminded himself to tell Jack and Lillian that that room would be off limits. He went into a shadow and appeared in his globe room. He nearly stumbled over something and looked around in dismay.
He and Lillian had gotten rid of all those wretched cages, but the little fairies had remained behind. They were too small to carry any of the tooth cases, so they all remained there, touching cases here and there, making them glow for children.
He ran a hand over his face with a sigh.
How on earth was going to get rid of them?!
How had he gotten them all there?
He frowned as he tried to remember, but all he could remember was something about darkness, and using that to transport the tooth cases.
He threw his hands up in the air in disgust and stomped over to the globe to check it out. Thanks to Sandy and the little tooth fairies, the golden lights on the globe were all reappearing. He noted with satisfaction that the two blue lights on the globe were glowing. They had flared brightly when they shed the darkness, but now they were back to their usual dim selves.
Pitch shrugged at that. That was the Guardians' problem, not his. If they wanted the two children spirits to believe in them, they would have to deal with it. He certainly wasn't going to do them any favors.
A cold winter wind suddenly whipped through the globe room as Jack Frost flew down through the hole under the bed.
He came to a landing near Pitch and hitched his smirk on his face. A part of him was sad that he had to do this with Pitch, as he usually didn't, but he didn't really feel like talking about the Guardians' betrayal at the moment and he didn't want Pitch to know he was sad.
"Where's Lillian?" he casually asked.
Pitch took in Jack's expression with a slight frown. His eyes weren't lit up in mirth or mischief as they usually were. Instead they seemed rather sad. But he realized that if Jack wasn't bringing it up, he probably didn't want to talk about it, so Pitch decided to humor him.
"She's in her room, cleaning up the tornado that seems to have hit it." Pitch said with a shake of his head. "She's supposed to be grounded, but perhaps you can go help her clean it. It'll take her days to get it straightened out at this point."
Jack nodded in thanks and took off for Lillian's room. He soon reached it and whistled softly when he saw the horrible mess it was.
Instead of cleaning it though, Lillian was sitting on her bed with her tooth case in her hands. She had tucked it absentmindedly in her pocket when she and Pitch were moving all the cages, and had felt it there when she had started to clean her room. Curious about it, she had brought it out and started to examine it.
Jack picked his way around the mess and sat down by her on the bed. He reached into his hoodie pocket and brought own his own tooth case. He could see the picture on the side was of a boy with brown hair and brown eyes, smirking. Was that really him?
"How do we see our memories?" Lillian asked softly as she continued to look at her case.
Jack shrugged.
"I'm not sure."
He was going to say more, but there was an excited tweet from his hood as Baby Tooth finally emerged from it. She smiled happily at both Jack and Lillian as she flew down and touched both the cases in the center.
Lillian and Jack both gasped as the cases began to glow. They looked at one another in shock and then looked back down at their cases.
Baby Tooth nodded at the pair of them encouragingly.
With a deep breath, Jack reached out with his free hand and grasped Lillian's tightly. He set the glowing tooth case down in his lap and reached out to touch the middle.
Lillian felt Jack's hand grasp hers and she looked over to see what he was doing. Realizing that Jack just wanted some support, she squeezed his hand and then mimicked him.
She reached out with her other hand and touched the tooth case. A picture seemed to unfold from the case and suddenly, she could see she was somewhere else.
Somewhere very familiar..
There was darkness as if Lillian had her eyes closed, but she could clearly hear a young woman humming a lullaby softly. Lillian felt arms wrapped around her from behind and felt a woman stroking her hair. Lillian leaned back in the woman's embrace, feeling loved.
Lillian was smiling happily as she was in a small room. The furniture was very worn and the bed was tiny. The bed frame looked it was on its last legs, but she didn't take any notice of this. She looked about three and half years old and was bouncing on the balls of her feet excitedly.
"Daddy's going out today, right?" she asked a young woman. The woman had curly hair just like hers, but this woman's hair was dark. She had the same gray eyes as Lillian and she smiled for her daughter, but her eyes were weary. Her dress looked a little frayed at the edges and it had a few patches.
"I think so," the woman said softly. "What do you want to do?"
"Plaaay~!" Lillian said excitedly as she twirled around. "Let's go to the park!"
"LILA! Shut that brat up!" a harsh voice could be heard coming from downstairs.
The woman flinched at the tone and went over to her daughter.
"Lillian, let's play a game right now." she whispered to her daughter. "Let's see how quiet we can be."
Lillian looked up at the woman, her mother, and tilted her head.
"Why?" she asked curiously.
"Please," the woman said a little desperately. "Let's sit down and I'll brush your hair. If you're a good girl, maybe we can go to the park later."
Lillian smiled happily at that and promptly sat down on the bed. She didn't notice the look of relief on her mother's face as her mother fetched the brush and sat down behind her.
Lillian was around the same age and she was running about the park near her house, playing happily.
Her mother was perched on a bench nearby, and kept nervously checking the time.
Lillian looked a little older and looked out the window jealously as kids began to walk to school.
"Why can't I go to school?" Lillian complained to her mother.
They were both in the kitchen and her mother was making them breakfast. As her father was a late sleeper, he wasn't awake yet to complain about the noise.
"I told you, I can teach you what you need to learn for now," her mother said quietly. "School is expensive, and we don't have the money right now. Besides, you're still too young for school."
Lillian gave a dramatic sigh as she could see kids cutting through the neighbors' back yard, carrying their school books.
"When can I go to school?"
Lillian seemed to be the same age and was wearing her favorite pink dress and her frayed coat. Other kids ran around with baskets, but she didn't have one. With a smile, she found an egg by the bush at the park and picked it up.
She loved Easter!
It was later in the year and Lillian was looking so sad.
"But if we don't have a Christmas tree, Santa won't know where to leave the presents," she explained to her father.
"Hmph," her father grunted as he sat in his favorite place, in the armchair where he continuously drank and complained about how little money they had. He had been bouncing from job to job, but couldn't seem to find any steady employment. "Presents are for kids who were behaved themselves," he said nastily to her. "What makes you think you'll get any?"
Lillian flinched as if he had slapped her.
"..I've been good.." she said, tears beginning to form in her eyes. "Santa will come for me."
Later that night, Lillian was lulled to sleep by good dreams of Christmas trees, decorations and Santa leaving presents just for her. In the middle of the night, she never heard the sounds of her parents arguing, boxes being stomped on and paper torn.
Lillian woke up bright and early the next morning and bounded downstairs before her mother could stop her.
She looked around their living room that was sparsely furnished excitedly for the presents that she knew that Santa had brought her. Her happy smile faded a little when she didn't see any, but then she realized that Santa was confused because they didn't have a tree. Maybe he wanted to hide them like the Easter Bunny hid them?
Half an hour later, Lillian sat in her mother's arms sobbing her heart out.
"H-he didn't come..!" Lillian said, her voice muffled as she buried her face into her mother's dress. "I'm bad..!"
Lillian's mother tightened her arms around her daughter with a defeated look on her face. She had several bruises hidden badly by makeup, but Lillian never seemed to notice. She wondered what she would say when Lillian finally did start noticing.
"I'm sure he'll come next year," Lillian's mother said softly to her. "You just have to believe."
Lillian shook her head sadly as she pulled away a bit to look up at her mother.
"He didn't come last year either," she said sadly. "..I don't think there is a Santa Claus.."
It was just after the New Year, and Lillian was happily skipping towards the stairs, her prize clutched tightly in her hand.
Annoyed with the exuberance that his daughter was showing, her father reached out with a hand and roughly grabbed her shoulder to stop her.
"What do you think you're doing?" he said gruffly to her.
Lillian was whirled around to face him and her smile faltered.
"I lost a tooth when I was eating lunch," she explained. "I was gonna put my tooth under my pillow so the Tooth Fairy could take it."
"Let me see that," her father demanded.
Lillian reluctantly held out her hand and he snatched the tooth away.
"Hey..!" Lillian exclaimed, but was silenced when he slapped her across the face. Tears filled her eyes as she touched her cheek. He had never hit her before.
"There's no such thing as the Tooth Fairy," he said harshly to her. "Stop believing in that nonsense and grow up!"
Tears spilled down Lillian's cheeks as she saw him throw the tooth away.
Through the beginning of that year, Lillian's father and mother continued to fight. One night, Lillian lay buried under her covers, shivering in fright. She could hear the booming voice of her father and her mother's timid reply.
As she started to cry, she didn't notice the pair of golden eyes watching her from the shadowy corner.
She also didn't notice the look of pity that was flashed her way as apparently the golden eyes decided that she didn't need a nightmare that night.
That Easter, Lillian spent the day gloomily looking out her bedroom window as she watched other kids collect the eggs. Her father told her that she shouldn't be taken in by that nonsense and had ordered her to read her Dick and Jane books.
Dick and Jane could see Spot run. She wished she could too.
That Christmas was very quiet. For the first time ever, Lillian didn't bother hoping Santa would come. She didn't pester her mother about decorations and she didn't annoy her father at all. That night, she looked outside her window at the snow and told herself that it didn't matter anyway - there was no Santa Claus.
The next Easter, Lillian hadn't bothered asking if she could go outside. She diligently read her children's books (what little she could read of them) and told herself it was alright. If there were eggs, they probably tasted crummy anyway.
It was that October that things seemed to go downhill. Lillian's parents were arguing more than ever and everything seemed to come crashing down near Halloween night. It was late at night and Lillian groggily opened her eyes. She heard the sounds of her parents arguing again.
She was going to close her eyes when she heard the panicked sound of her mother pleading. Curious, Lillian quietly got up from bed and crept to the door. It was open a little and she gently pushed it further open.
The soft sounds of her footsteps couldn't be heard over all the yelling and she paused in the hallway as she saw her father facing her mother at the top of the stairs.
Her father was screaming at her mother and her mother had her arms raised as if in defense.
Lillian's eyes widened as her father raised his arm and she flinched at the crack as he backhanded her mother.
Her mother was at the top of the stairs however and as she lost her balance, her arms flailed helplessly.
Lillian's father watched impassively as his wife tumbled down the stairs. She lay very still at the foot of the stairs, her neck bent at an unnatural angle as a pool of blood began seeping from her head.
"Mommy!" Lillian's scream rang out and she brushed past her father as she flew down the stairs.
She knelt down by her mother and shook her shoulder.
"Wake up! Mommy, w-wake up..!" Lillian sobbed as she kept shaking her mother's shoulder.
Lillian's father's face darkened and he stomped down the stairs.
"Daddy..!" Lillian wailed as she looked up at him desperately, with tear filled gray eyes.
"SHUT UP!" he roared at her and before she knew what was happening, she was thrown to the floor as her father backhanded her too. "She's sleeping and she's never going to wake up! Now get upstairs to your room! NOW!"
Lillian got to her feet unsteadily and awkwardly climbed around her mother, careful to not step in that strange red puddle. She hesitated as she climbed the stairs. The hallway was so dark..
"GET MOVING!" her father shouted from the bottom of the stairs.
Lillian gave a muffled shriek and bolted for her bedroom. As she lay in bed shivering with sadness and fright, she could hear strange sounds.
She didn't realize they were the sounds of a body being dragged and then later, the sounds of a shovel in the back yard.
Nobody thought anything of the new flower garden that appeared in the backyard, and no one really took notice of the young wife that ran out on her husband and child.
That Christmas, Lillian wrote a letter to Santa Claus. She knew deep in her heart that Santa wasn't real, but she wasn't sure who else to turn to. Tears fell down her cheeks as she wrote, asking Santa for the impossible.
She asked Santa to wake her Mommy up and bring her back.
The next Easter, Lillian was more cheerful. She had endured the last six months with her father reasonably well, and she was allowed outside this Easter since he preferred to have her out of the house so she wouldn't bother him.
She giggled as she found an egg with a picture of an Easter basket on it. The Easter Bunny was so silly!
She wandered farther into the forest, not noticing that the temperature was dropping and the snow getting thicker.
She lay in the snow, not really feeling the cold any more. She looked up at the unfamiliar man with the golden eyes as he spoke soothingly to her. She had said softly that she was tired and he told her to rest.
The man didn't realize that these were the first words Lillian had spoken to anyone since her mother's death. After that terrible night, Lillian hadn't spoken one word.
Her eyes fluttered closed as the man began to hum, and his humming was the very last thing that she heard.
Lillian gasped as she opened her eyes and she heard a similar gasp from Jack. Jack grinned at Lillian happily.
"Did you see that?!" he exclaimed in glee. "I had a sister! I saved her!"
Lillian looked down at her tooth case as her green eyes filled with tears. She hugged it close to her as she remembered all the pain and sorrow. She felt as if she were six and a half again and she closed her eyes as tears fell down her cheeks.
Jack stopped in mid-exclamation as he finally noticed Lillian was upset.
"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked in concern.
"..I..I want.." Lillian said softly. "I want my Mommy..!" she suddenly cried out and burst into tears.
Jack looked at her, completely stunned.
Author's Note: Yes, I'm evil for leaving it there. But the chapter was already pretty long for me, so I figured that's a good place to stop. If you'll notice, Lillian's dialogue is the same as when she was calling out for Pitch at the beginning of the fic. It was sort of a way for me to bring things around full circle. Pitch did suspect that Lillian had sad memories, and no, he wasn't really going to let her see them, but he got distracted by everything else and forgot that she had them. The beginning part of the next chapter will be sad, but then we'll cut to some Jack and Jamie bonding time for something happier.
And maybe I'll throw in something with the other Guardians as they get some newfound info from Sandy and figure out what to do with it. I might have a few more holidays as after all those horribly sad ones, I want to see some happy ones with Pitch, Jack and Lillian. If you have any suggestions for further happy scenes I can throw in the next couple chapters, it would be much appreciated. And sorry for all the angst, but Lillian's always had this sad story in the back of my mind.
Edit: Fixed a horrendous typo. It's nice of you guys not to point them out. :)
