The two girls ordered shakes at an outdoor, late night ice cream shop. They sat sucking them up through twizzled straws with red and white stripes. Matsuri thought they were cute, and Harumi didn't mind.
Harumi was still meditating on her home situation, and Matsuri felt bad for her. What could she do for her friend? Here she was boiling over with the whole fiasco with the letter, not knowing how she should regard her sister anymore.
"I'm sorry about pinching you on the butt," said Matsuri first, finally breaking the ice. Harumi just looked narrowly at her, "Why do you always do that stuff to me. Always teasing me, testing me." Matsuri narrowed her eyes back, and kicked the end of her foot up next to Harumi's knee, tapping it with her shoe, "Don't you know why?"
Harumi just rolled her eyes and looked in a different direction, avoiding the whole thing in an obvious show of denial. Matsuri hated how she could never get anything out of Harumi unless she was proactive, but if that's what it was going to take then she would do it. She decided to be bold and tap Harumi on the shoulder. The girl looked back her way, and Matsuri looked her straight in the face.
"Hey, Haru-miiiiiiiiin," she said in the cutest way possible, mimicking Yuzu. Harumi was shocked and spit out her ice cream. She laughed out loud and made a mess on the table in the grossest way. The two were always tense like this, with constant highs and lows. It annoyed Matsuri but it was fun. She always wanted to make more of a connection but couldn't jump across some theoretical wall Harumi had put up between them. A chasm of distance floated between them, teasing Matsuri about what could be and whether there was a future to their constant flirting.
"Knock it off Matsuri, geez." Harumi tried to sound disgruntled, but the pink haired girl had done an excellent job of knocking her out of her isolated meditation. "Don't let it get to you down too much, alright?" Matsuri tapped her on the bottom of the elbow, "Your sister might just be going through a phase you know?"
Harumi looked away, back to feeling sorry for herself. Matsuri nudged her with her toe, anguished and fed up now, "C'mon, don't feel bad, okay?" kicking her lightly, "It'll all work out, you'll see. Don't be afraid to go home. If you're that concerned, just ask her." Harumi looked down at her hands, contemplating the letter and Mitsuko and this morning. "What, are you afraid of having a L-E-Z in the house? Haha!" Matsuri laughed cheekily, and nudged Harumi a little more with her foot.
Harumi grunted in reply and balled her fist into her cheek. She lay desperately on the horizon between caring and not caring about what her sister would or wouldn't tell her. "I just never got that sign from her, is all." Matsuri looked genuinely interested by now. Her friend was talking again, and she always liked it when Harumi spoke her mind. "I never thought of her sexual orientation before," she said, "and I don't know how I feel about someone at school preying on my sister, especially all these years later."
"Preying…" Matsuri said the word out loud, emphasizing its strangeness in this case. She didn't like where this was going. "Harumi, is that what you think Kayo might be doing?"
Harumi looked steadily at Matsuri and she thought about her words carefully. She sheepishly decided she was off course. "OK, that wasn't the right thing to say, sorry. Preying sounds weird, like she might eat her." Matsuri's eyes got bigger, then she just looked away again. Harumi steadied her chin on her fist, "It's just…" she sighed a little, Matsuri looked with big wondering eyes, a bit speechless at what her friend might say next. It wasn't her usual style to confess and meander, "I love my sister, and I want her to be alright. I don't want…" Matsuri spoke up, "Like, if it's love. What then?"
Harumi looked bizarre and affected by this realization, "I don't want her to get hurt," and she left it at that. Matsuri was a bit stunned.
The pink haired girl reached up and caressed Harumi below the shoulder on her left arm, "Don't be afraid, if they like each other then there's nothing you or anybody can do about it." Matsuri subconsciously rubbed her hand but didn't notice. It seemed like the friendly thing to do.
Harumi retrained her focus on Matsuri, getting out of her daze for a second, noticing the rubbing. "You're always touching me," she flipped the hand away and giggled in a coy manner. It had taken so long just for Matsuri to get Harumi to this point, she was not the warmest person. Before, she was cold and distant-especially if Yuzu wasn't around. Matsuri was always afraid to approach her. She thought it was her antics when they had first met that had poisoned the well with Harumi, or just annoyed at her being an underclassman. She wanted the girl across from her to know that everything would be OK. She felt it deep within her that she had to do that. Matsuri genuinely wanted to be Harumi's other good friend besides Yuzu, she just wasn't as good with people.
She sometimes thought that in ways, Harumi and herself were similar: lonely, cold and disaffected, even conniving. Yet Harumi had something Matsuri lacked and wanted, more emotional control and personability for instance. Matsuri yearned to be accepted and deal with people in a closer way. Her brains and temperament got in the way of many friendships, but she was always ready to risk doing more for her friends. She was always willing to go a little further with Harumi, especially. Touching her subtly. She wanted to hug and tease her, because Harumi never said no, and that made her dear to her. Matsuri adored not Harumi's psychology and her body, she longed to pour her love into someone like Harumi. She would be damned before giving up on it being Harumi for real.
Before Matsuri had noticed, their shakes were gone. The two girls suddenly found themselves looking at each other eye to eye. Matsuri removed her grip from Harumi's arm and looked away. "Sorry. I know I get carried away. I like you, though. You're the only one who's always willing to put up with me. You're willing to hang out with me, and that means a lot." Harumi blushed, "Otherwise I'd be lonely."
Matsuri smiled happily which was rare for her. Harumi grasped Matsuri's hand, "It's okay, Matsuri. I would be lonely too, heck," Harumi rifled through her purse for something, "Yuzu is crazy! She's never here. I don't know what she does. Is it boyfriend trouble? Why can't she confide in me at least a little? It's like your best friend is dead to the entire world or something."
Matsuri knew she couldn't and blow Yuzu's cover. As much as Matsuri was jealous of the things Harumi could do, she couldn't believe her ignorance in love. It was cute but at the same time nauseatingly simple.
Matsuri couldn't tell Harumi that Yuzu liked girls or anything about Mei either. She couldn't even reveal the breakup. She suddenly remembered when Harumi swaddled her in her breasts after she found her crying. The night she learned that Mei would betray Yuzu. That bosom was warm. She looked over at Harumi, whose chest was heaving as she breathed. She looked down at hers and compared, flat as a pancake. 'Boy, if only I could catch up a little!' she thought.
She exhaled, "Gyarus."
"Hm?" asked Harumi. "Nothing," she replied, "Well, I guess you gotta' get home, right?"
"Yeah," she said warmly, touching Matsuri on the elbow, "thanks a lot for helping me today. You can be real mature when you put your mind to it. You're usually so spoiled." Matsuri almost got mad, but that comment alone was enough of a win to let it go. "Thanks, big boobs. I know I can always count on you guys." Harumi lowered her brows in anger, "Yeahhhh," and she got up from the table in a huff.
Matsuri suddenly thought to put her arm up around Harumi's back. As they walked together to a crossing, she reached up behind the taller girl. The massive warmth radiating from Harumi's body affected her, and Harumi blushed. "Don't worry about it, OK?" she said in a cheery way. Matsuri looked up into Harumi's lovely eyes. She was being a mature underclassman today for her friend.
Harumi strode ahead a little, breaking the brief connection, "Don't worry. If I ask her about it, then I'll worry. If I don't, then I don't. I'll just have to prepare myself for whatever comes my way." She winked and smiled back at Matsuri and waited for her to catch up. She put her hand on Matsuri's shoulder. "Thanks, kiddo. If you acted like tonight all the time, we'd be real buddies."
Matsuri blushed like a kid and they smiled at each other. Matsuri looked up into Harumi's eyes, "But you wouldn't have half the fun you did if I didn't always tease you and get your goat!" said Matsuri playfully. "Haha," laughed Harumi, "My goat is unattainable."
Matsuri huffed, "Okay. Bye then, Harumi!"
"Bye, Matsuri," Harumi said wistfully, knowing that now she would be confronting her sister. They waved at each other, Matsuri noting the sad ending note. They went their separate ways.
A couple meters from Matsuri, Harumi got a sudden chill walking towards the station. What was with Matsuri tonight? 'Growing up, I suppose', she thought to herself. Matsuri wasn't always like that, so affectionate, cute and warm. She was even empathetic. She could be a galling, subhuman monster, but tonight she was a friend. She always picked on Harumi's insecurities and it was endless and tiring. But tonight might have symbolized a change.
She picked a hair off her coat and noticed it was pink. 'Hm, little rascal', she thought.
