Episode Two: Adjusting

(Revised version - 2018)

It had been a few days since Jack had first arrived at the farm, and the poor soul had never been so bored in his entire life as he was at this moment. It was 7am in the morning, and he knew that he should be up and about doing something… but he couldn't for the life of him figure out just what that was! Looking outside his window into the fields, he realized that perhaps it was time that he learned to grow vegetables. They were yucky, but he was pretty sure that not eating them was a sin.

As he opened his door, he was startled by a weak bark at his feet.

"Oh, I forgot about you again!" Jack smiled down at his dog, Ruff, picking the pup up from the ground. The dog stared motionlessly into the happy eyes of the unintelligible lunatic holding him; not quite afraid, yet utterly confused as to why this being had detached his paws from the safety of the ground below.

In an instant, Jack remembered what it was that he came outside to do and quickly tossed the young pup aside without a thought for the well being of the animal. Looking about, he thought wonderingly to himself, How do I make crops grow… if I don't even know where babies come from?

Poor Jack studied the fields hard. They were a mess. Logs, rocks, and weeds were all about them. Jack had decided that his grandfather must have grown them. What an odd choice of food, he frowned.

"Hey, Jack," a voice came from behind him. It was the shipper, a man that Jack had met not too long ago. "How goes the crop planting today?"

"I don't know what I'm doing!" Jack exclaimed excitedly.

"Oh, it's no problem! It's the easiest thing in the world, my friend. Why, all you have to do is clear the fields, plant the seeds, and water them day to day!"

Jack looked at the man in confusion and asked, "How do I do that?"

"Well, first of all, you must get rid of all of these rocks and weeds and logs. The logs go in that bin over there. You'll need to move the rocks out of the way, and then you'll need to chop up the weeds before they get any bigger. When the fields are all cleared out, use a hoe to dig up some patches, then plant the seeds." The nice man smiled warmly Jack.

After a few moments of consideration, Jack smiled back and nodded happily.

"I have to be on my way now, but please come by the bar later and meet me for a drink. Lots of the townspeople will be there, so it will be a great ol' time!" And with that, he was off.

Jack worked very hard for the rest of the day, slaving as best he could to move the rocks, store the logs, and chop the weeds. The rocks were much too heavy at first, so he focused more on the ones that he could carry. The logs were the most amount of work, and Jack had no clue that he was supposed to chop them into smaller pieces before storing them. This made it extremely difficult for them to fit in the log bin, and he eventually gave up and rolled them to the side of the house instead. He ripped the weeds out from the ground with his bare hands, unaware that with their roots still grounded, they would only end up growing back. Upon finishing, he took the weeds back to the house and and chopped them up like someone would a vegetable. Of course, Jack forgot to wash them before eating them. Mother had always told him that if he ate his broccoli he would get his desert, so perhaps the same was true with these weeds.

Intermission

After Jack threw up all his dinner, he headed for town in search of the "bar". Unfortunately, the bar could not be found anywhere. He searched high, he searched low, he searched everywhere; but alas, the boy could not find it. Up along the path, Nina could be seen coming out of the church. He was about to run away as he always did when in close proximity to one, but the girl called out to him.

"Hi, Jack. Where are you off to?" She smiled sweetly at him.

"I'm off on an adventure." Jack said secretively.

"Hahaha, that's funny. I haven't seen you in town lately. Has work been hard?"

Jack nodded sadly. There were so many things that he was expected to do, he just couldn't handle it all. He had so many questions, but he didn't know who to ask. Then he remembered, Nina's mother was a smart lady! She would know everything! He eagerly asked Nina to bring him to see her, and she politely complied. Together, they walked down the darkening streets towards Nina's house.

When they had finally reached their destination, Nina went to her room while her mother and Jack sat down to talk.

"Well, Jack, what seems to be the problem?" She asked with a very concerned look on her face.

"I have many questions," he answered promptly.

"Well, go ahead and ask, and I will answer to the best of my ability (cough)."

"…Where do babies come from?" Jack questioned intently. The woman stared back blankly. Quite frankly, she was stunned.

"Y…you're serious…?"

"I'm a very serious person," Jack blinked.

"Umm… uh, well…hmm. Okay, first of all, the act involves a man and a woman. They need to love each other very much, and then they need to do something…" She could see the confused look on Jack's face. "They, they need to have sex, Jack. Men have special seeds produced inside of them, and as well, women have special eggs. The man must spread his seed and impregnate the woman's egg… do you understand?"

Jack understood perfectly well. This woman was a con artist. She sold seeds for $3.95 each and every day to poor unsuspecting customers in the town, when all along the men of the village were producing them for free from their own bodies, never suspecting a thing!

"Any more questions, sweetheart?"

"I'm looking for 'the bar'." Jack glared coldly at her.

"Oh, that's on the other side of the town. I will summon Nina and she can take you there. Be very careful when you are there though, as bars can be dangerous places, if you know what I mean..." She gave a friendly warning.

With that, Nina was called and soon she and Jack were on their way.

"What did you guys talk about?" She asked him curiously.

"You're better off not knowing, Nina. But you may want to think twice before eating eggs again."

Soon they arrived at their new destination and entered through the small door eagerly.

"Well, have a nice time. I'm tired, and so I'm heading home to go to bed. Goodnight, Jack." She bade him farewell and left.

How rude of her to give up on the adventure like that, he thought to himself. Looking around the room, he noticed that there weren't very many people there. There was the old drunk man that Jack had played with on his first day in town, the bartender, the shipper, an ugly girl that gave him his dog but he couldn't remember the name of, and… the most gorgeous girl he had ever seen!

With all the grace and style of an angel, the beautiful blonde vixen walked slowly towards him.

"You're the new guy in town." She gave a half smile. "My name's Eve. I work here, my room's in the back. I'm not outside all that much, but I'm always here at nights. Don't be a stranger!" She winked at him and walked on by.

How did she make her eye do that?

"Jacky boy!" The annoying shipper shouted, once again interrupting him on his quest. "Come and sit over here, I'll buy you a drink!"

"I can't right now, I need to find the *bar*."

"You just walked into it, buddy!"

Jack stared at him in confusion. He rubbed his head, but he could feel no bump. This man was a liar, just like Nina's mother!

Sidetracking him once more, Eve tapped him on the shoulder, grabbing his attention completely.

"What was that? You wanted something from the bar?" Jack could do nothing but stand stupidly in place as she spoke. "That's no problem at all. Since you're new in town, it's on the house." Smiling, she walked over to the bartender.

Waking up from his trance-like state of mind, Jack thought back to what had just unfolded. It's on the house. "The roof!"

Running like a madman, Jack blazed past the old drunkard, knocking him flat on his bottom and sending a glass to the floor in shatters. Looking up to the rooftops, Jack wondered how on earth he was going to get up there.

"Jack, are you okay?" The shipper was suddenly standing in front of him, blocking his view of the pub. Without further thought, Jack began to climb the hulky man's arms, shocking and confusing the poor bystander. "Wh…what are you doing? Jack!" Jack had gotten on top of his shoulders and was now getting ready to attempt his leap to the roof of the building. "Ow, what is the meaning of this?"

With all his strength, Jack leaped!

Jack fell.

"Jack, are you alright?" The blurred vision of the man could barely be seen through Jack's shaky vision. He lifted his head slowly, dazed by the force of the collision.

"What did you do to him?!" Eve cried as she ran out and tended to the injured boy.

"I…I…I didn't do anything, he just…" The shipper stalled.

Just then the bartender rushed out to Eve's assistance.

"That's it, bub, you've had enough to drink. You could have seriously injured this young fellow. And don't bother coming back!" Hurt by the words of the bartender, the shipper walked away, unable to speak or deduce what had just taken place.

"Are you alright, Jack?" Eve asked him. The angel sent from heaven was the first thing he could see clearly now. How he loved the sound of her soft voice. Forgotten was his quest for the bar, the man who had sent him on it had now gone home anyways.

"I'm okay, Eve." He smiled.

With that, they all went back inside the pub and sat down. Jack and Eve talked a little while, and she believed that he talked in his odd ways because he had been drinking already that night. Poor boy, it must have been lonely being at that farm day after day all by himself. It was no wonder he was resorting to alcohol.

"So what's up for tomorrow?" She asked him.

"I need to use a hoe to dig up some patches in my fields, then I can plant my seeds in them," he smiled proudly. "Bet you didn't know I could do that!"

"Is that a tool?"

"The seeds? No, but I have a feeling that they may come out from one..." He looked down at his pants.

Ah, she thought. How far technology has come... seed dispensers for gardens. I was referring to the hoe, but he's a little too drunk to tell the difference.

Now, one wouldn't think that Jack was smart enough to know what a hoe was, but luckily for Jack, his father had let him stay up some nights and watch the B.E.T. channel with him.

"Hey, are you busy tomorrow?" He asked.

"I don't think so, why?"

"I need you to come do something for me in the fields."

Intermission

Jack felt quite weird coming home. Beer didn't taste very good, but it was better than those awful weeds he'd had for lunch. Looking down at his feet, Ruff was fast asleep. The cute little dog must have been all tuckered out after a long day in the hot sun.

"WAKE UP, RUFF!" He shouted into the dog's ear, sending him jumping to his feet in alarm. "Hahaha! Good puppy!"

Satisfied with himself, Jack went to his bed and decided once again to write in his journal. It had, after all, been a very productive day.

Yeer:1 Munth:1 Day:4

2day I saw the most beootifll gerl in the werld. Her nam is eev. And I moovd the rox, I rold the logs, I cutted the weeds and I ated them. Mom donnt bi egs evr agan! I git seeds fer free! Tomoro I hav a ho cuming ovr to mak paches, and she iz also the beootifl gerl I wuz toking about.

PS- sumday I will find the BAR! Its on the roof!

With that, Jack went to sleep.

After finishing his rounds after his drinking break, the shipper showed up at Jack's house. Perhaps he could get some kind of closure on the situation and what had happened by talking to the young lad... or perhaps the kid was just an idiot. Looking into the produce bin to make sure there was nothing that could be sold, the shipper got his answer.

"Rocks?"

The End