Washington
"Mmhm…." I mumbled, opening my eyes to the familiar view of my ceiling.
"Good morning, little pup."
My head clocked sideways, taking in the sight of the Greek god that lay next to me. His head was propped up by his elbow as he greeted me with a warming smile; chocolate brown eyes so full of bliss, and I couldn't help but stare, wondering how I could've ever become friends with someone so magnificent.
"G'morning." I murmured, turning my whole body towards him. "Did you know you like to cuddle in your sleep? I woke up three times last night from being smothered by your arms."
He let out a light laugh, and I couldn't help but be memorized as the sunlight gently came in through the window to shine onto his already radiant face. Even if I had decided to not act on these feeling I was having, I could at least still admire how beautiful he was.
"What do you feel like doing today?" He sat up from the bed stretching his arms, making his shirt lift and giving me a peak of the smooth skin underneath.
"We're doing a part three?"
Paul let out a slight gasp. "Did you really think you were going to get away from me, Seth Clearwater?"
"Guess not." I gave an overexaggerated sigh, only to look over towards him with a slight grin. "You do realise if we keep this up my grades are going to get pummeled."
He dramatically whipped his head as if he were in a soap opera. "Are you calling me a bad influence?"
"Are you saying swimming in the ocean in thirty degree weather makes you a good one?" I cockily raised a brow.
"….Fair enough. Want breakfast?" He attempted to say casually, but the hint of eagerness was hard to miss.
"Yeah, sure."
We didn't bother to change out of our pajamas before heading down the stairs into the main area. As I walked towards the kitchen to greet my mother, she spotted me, a stern look plastered on her face.
"Seth Clearwater, why did I get a call from the school saying that you missed-" She stopped herself, noticing the figure next to me in the doorway. Her face then melted into a sweet smile. "Why hello, Paul. What are you doing here so early?"
"Hello, Sue. You're looking as young and beautiful as ever." Paul responded.
"Kiss ass." I muttered. My mother glared at me before turning her attention back to Paul.
"I actually slept over, I hope that isn't a problem." His sympathetic voice was obviously fake, but honestly, Paul could have killed a man in front of her and she probably wouldn't've cared.
"Oh of course it's not my dear, you are welcome here anytime you want." She then turned her attention back to me. "Why did you leave school at lunch?" She demanded to know. I simply gestured over my shoulder to where Paul stood.
Paul looked away, slightly embarrassed. "It's kind of my fault. I had asked him to."
To my surprise, her anger completely washed away. "Oh then don't worry one bit, it's completely fine."
Wait, what?
"Sue, would it be a problem if I stole Seth away from school today as well?"
"Oh sure! In fact, this works out perfectly. I just got a call to go into work so I'm going to need you're truck, Seth."
I looked at the both of them in shock. Not only did Paul get my mother to completely forget about me skipping school, he also got me another day off.
My mom began walking out of the kitchen. "Okay, I'll see you boys later. Don't burn down the house while I'm gone." She quickly peaked her head back in. "That last part was directed at you, Seth." I didn't have the chance to respond as she left the house without another word.
"Okay, how the hell did you just do that." I spun on my heels, pointing a finger at Paul.
"You just gotta have the charm." He flashed a grin.
"Hmm, I bet." I was unconvinced. "Breakfast?"
"Breakfast."
I walked over to the cabinets, taking out a frying pan and placing it on the stove. After turning on the dials, Paul snuck up behind me with three packs of sausage in hand and an eager look on his face.
"We need to cook these."
"And you need to go to the doctors for a cholesterol check." I retorted, poking him directly in his chest before taking them from his hands.
"I can assure you I am as healthy as a horse, pup."
"Whatever you say, dude."
"Now that was a good meal." Paul spoke, patting his stomach while looking at peace.
"Don't remind me." For ten minutes I had to sit through watching Paul scarf down sausage after sausage, only to feel sick half way through and lose my appetite. Paul of course then ate my meal along with his own, which made me feel worse than I already had been. "At this rate, you're gonna eat half of my house." I chuckled. "Whoever this 'love at first sight' person is, you better hope they can keep up with the black hole you call a stomach."
"Oh, I'm sure they'll be able to." Paul gave me a hellish grin.
"So, you still never told me who she was." I spoke, propping my elbows up onto the table and leaning into them, waiting to hear more about the person he seemed so infatuated with.
"Uhm, well uh…" He seemed to get a bit nervous.
"Oh come on, Paul, I'm you're best friend for crying out loud! You know you can tell me anything, I wont judge." I said with a cheeky smile. "You could tell me if she's… famous? Have I seen her in any movies?!" I turned it into a question. He seemed to find humor in it, which I took as a no. "Okay. Is… she a grandma?"
That seemed to hit his funny bone slightly harder. "No…no." He said in between laughs. "No, there's no grandma."
"Hmm…"
Why else wouldn't he tell me…
"Oh… Are you…" I couldn't get the words to leave my mouth. "R-related to h-her?"
Paul's laugh roared through the room now, as he began clutching his sides. "God no!" He shouted.
"Oh thank god." I said with a bit of relief. "What else could it be then!" I said, flinging my arms in exasperation. "Is she…" I felt myself gasp as a smile met my lips. "Is she a… he?"
It was an obvious joke, but Paul flinched.
Moment's passed, and he seemed to be no longer laughing. My mind flipped off for a second, as if it was unable to process what I'd just seen. Why isn't he saying no? I questioned. There was no way… no way that he would like a guy. Hell I watched countless times as he rejected a ton of them in his sophomore year alone.
The question make my voice falter.
"Is he a guy?" I asked, voice barely a whisper. His gaze was directed down at the empty plate in front of him, his eyes refusing to meet my own.
"Paul," I spoke, placing my hand over his own that was on the table. He flinched again, but he didn't move his hand away. "you know if… if it was a guy, I would be completely okay with that right?"
His eyes flicked up, as if he were surprised by what I had said.
"Really?" His voice croaked.
I felt myself let out a breath I didn't know I was holding in, realising that by him asking that question, it confirmed my question.
"Of course. You'll always be my best friend no matter who you love." I gave what I said some thought. "Actually I take that back, because if you fell in love with my sister, I'd have to kill 'ya." I smiled, and his heartfelt laugh returned once again.
His face expressed so many emotions, each one looking so fragile. Huffing out a shaky breath, he flipped his hand over to hold mine. "Thank you." His voice whispered, squeezing my hand with affection.
I smiled back, surprised by how the whole mood of the room changed so drastically within minutes.
"How long have you known?" I questioned, as it peaked my curiosity.
"About?" His brows furrowed, and I just rolled my eyes.
"About you liking guys, duh!"
"Oh," His eyes lit up in realization. "well, it was actually when I first… saw him. When I first saw him, I realised that I liked him without question." I gave him a puzzled look.
"Yeah, I was confused too." He continued. "It was like, all of a sudden, he mattered to me more than anything else in the world." His chocolate brown eyes were burning with intensity. "I almost freaked completely out, but I guess there was a little part of me that always known about my feelings for him."
"Known? But I thought it happened when you just met him?" I was confused again.
"No uh, known that I liked guys." It seemed like a backpedal more than a mistake, but I ignored it.
"Do you know how he feels?"
"Well, no, not exactly…" He scratched his face, avoiding my gaze.
"Oh, don't tell me that you're too nervous! What happened to all that overconfidence that you've always seem to have."
He chuckled. "Well it's not exactly that simple. I uh… I can't really tell him."
"Why not?"
"Beats me. Sam thinks that-" He cut himself off, freezing.
"Wait wait wait, hold up. You're telling me Sam wont let you?"
He guiltily looked away. It reminded me of that time on the beach where he refused to even face me as he spoke the words that would haunt me for weeks. I felt a sudden wave of irritation hit, realising just how tightly Sam had Paul in his grasp, and for whatever reason, Paul doesn't seem to be fighting back. I wondered if it was the same for his other followers.
"Paul… why are you listening to him? What could he possibly have on you that's forcing you to do… this!" I gestured to nothing in particular.
"Seth, it's more complicated than you know."
"Then tell me! Tell me how I can help – I want to help!" I pleaded.
"Seth please." He warned. "It's… not something that can be helped."
My frustration was building up, and I knew if I didn't calm down I would only make things worse. But I just couldn't stop it. I couldn't stop the immersive rage that seemed to just flare to life out of no where.
"Bullshit!" I shouted at him, making him jump in his seat in surprise. "What ever he has on you – what ever sort of blackmail or whatever – I can help. Stop thinking that I can't, because guess what Paul, I'm not some damn weakling that can't handle anything despite what you may think!" I felt hot. Something inside me was burning, and I didn't know how to stop. "And hell, even if-" I stopped.
Paul was looking at me. Not with anger, and not with surprise, but fear. Abruptly, he stood from his seat, quickly hurrying over to me, and he crouched down in front with out a word, and pressed his hands to my face.
I didn't speak. Maybe it was from the realization or shock of what I had just did, which seemed completely out of character for me, but there was one thing I knew for certain. As I slapped my hand over my mouth, I mumbled into my hands four words.
"I'm gonna throw up." My voice didn't sound like me for some reason. And I pushed through Paul as I launch myself through the room and up the stairs to the bathroom. I flung the cover up just in time as my stomach began heaving. Paul close on my tail, soon arrived by my side as I spewed out the contents of breakfast. A sudden shiver went through me, and I felt myself becoming chillingly cold.
"Seth," Paul said to me, his voice almost scared sounding. "We need to get you outside, right now."
I recognized this voice now. It was the voice he used when he knew something serious was happening, and every time it was used, I always felt the spike of fear. Fear of what unknown lies ahead. But as I threw up again, the voice didn't bother me too much.
"Mmm, but the toilet is so cool." I liked the coldness of it, because despite how cold I felt on the outside, my insides felt as if though they were getting warmer.
"Seth." His voice came out powerful. "We are getting you outside this instant." And in that moment, Paul picked me up fireman's style, and started to sprint out to the fenced backyard.
"Put me down! Put me down!" I shouted as we were now out in the snow. He complied to my request, practically dropping me as I began heaving once again. But this time, I didn't feel any bile start to rise, and instead I felt a more intense heat. Something so fierce, like fire began running through my body. Every part of me began itching, and I wanted to scratch, but my arms began to feel so heavy, so i laid there, gritting my teeth through it.
Paul stood feet away now, looking like he was watching someone slowly die, as the pain on his face was unmistakable.
"G-G-GAH!" I gasped. The pain was unbearable now, and I couldn't help but be terrified as to what was even happening. "P-P-PAUL!" I shouted, but he didn't move. He simply watched me with desperation.
What was happening? How do I get this to stop? I had to do something.
I started forcing my erratic breathing to turn into steady ones, and I clenched my eyes shut. I no longer shook, as I stiffened my body to stop it from shaking uncontrollably. Moment's passed, the only thing I not being able to control was the grinding of my teeth as the fire seemed to fade out in a slow and steady stream, until eventually it was gone, and I was left lying on the ground, shaking from the freezing snow.
Paul was by my side now, and he was looking at me with confusion. "Seth?" He choked out.
"Mmhm?" I mumbled, not able to open my eyes as a sudden wave of tiredness hit me.
"Seth, wake up. Look at me." He demanded. I opened my eyes, seeing his frightened, tear-filled face.
"Why are you cryin'" I murmured, forcing my head to lift slightly.
"Jesus Christ, Seth." I heard Paul's choked up voice say. "How… how did you stop it?" He said, but it seemed that he was thinking aloud.
"Mm, stop what? Stop the fire?"
"Yes," He laughed, though it sounded more like he choked it out. "How did you stop the fire."
"I told you I was strong." I felt my mouth crack into a smile before I felt myself drift out of consciousness.
My eyes opened, and for a second, I felt confused as to where I was, though I quickly recognised the tv that was across from me. I slowly propped myself up on my elbow, only to have my other hand shoot out to my head as I registered the pain there.
"What the hell." I groaned out, only to feel the couch shift slightly. Then out of nowhere, in front of me was Paul.
"Just take it easy, alright." He said, holding onto my arms as I tried sitting up.
"Why does my head kill so much? What happened?"
Paul hesitated. "What… what do you remember?"
I sat there, trying to think of the last thing that came to mind.
"We… were eating breakfast." I paused. "You told me you liked a guy, and then…"
I couldn't remember anything after. What could I have done to have my head hurt this bad? "Did I slip and fall somehow?"
"Yes." Paul said. "You uh, you went t-to stand up from you're seat, and then you slipped and fell."
"Oh." I had no reason to doubt it.
"You gave me quite the fright." Paul laughed, but there was no humor in his voice.
"I'm sorry." I meant it, but he only shook his head.
"No apologies needed, little pup. Are you feeling okay?"
"Yeah. Yeah I'm good." I said, putting my feet out and trying to stand, only to lose balance slightly, but Paul was quick to steady me. "I'm good, I'm good, I promise."
He laughed – this time a real one – and I felt myself join him.
"There's…" I wavered my finger back and forth. "There's two of you now, right?"
He laughed again. "Yeah."
The rest of the morning went by in a blur. I slept for a little whiles again, and Paul sat at the end of the couch, refusing to leave my side despite me telling him that I really did feel alright and was just a bit tired. When Lunch arrived, Paul of course got food – boiled hot dogs, which somehow managed to get burnt. That I would never understand. At one time, Paul's watch began beeping, and he announced that he had to leave to do some errands, which he promised over and over that he'd return as quick as possible. I had to practically push him out my door and lock it in order for him to leave, but I did feel the tinge of disappointment after I was alone. I roamed up to my room, and seeing the pictures that I had taken yesterday, I quickly remembered that I still needed to take a few more for tomorrow's class. My head still pained, so I took some aspirin to ease the pain before grabbing my keys and roaming out to the truck, bag in hand.
I drove around the reservation for a while, looking for places that would get me good shots, but alas, I couldn't find anything worth taking, so I made the decision to drive up to Forks. I put one of my favorite CD tracks in the stereo, and I felt myself relax more as I drove up the worn-out road. One of the songs that played – my favorite – made me feel some sort of emotion as it reminded me of the exact day I sat in the passenger seat of this truck while my father drove up to Forks. We were headed to a funeral – my grandpa's.
I was ten years old then, so I was old enough to realize I wouldn't be seeing him again soon. It was a sad day, but in a sense, it was still beautiful. I remember on that day, it was the warmest time Washington had been for a decade. The sun had shined so brightly, with such warmth, and I couldn't help but think how it was even possible for such a sad event to happen on such a beautiful day.
I drove around Fork's aimlessly, hoping at least something would catch my eye, but with no such luck. I strayed out of bounds for a while, and was soon about to give up until I spotted a slight opening by the road I was on – which I almost completely missed. It looked like it went on forever, but having nothing else to do, I decided on exploring further out of my comfort zone would be fun. I turned up onto it, which I almost immediately felt claustrophobic as the forest that was so close to the small road was extremly thick.
The drive felt somewhat eerie, but also peaceful in it's own way. The sky was an almost cloudless blue, and the sun was bright in the sky – something very rare for Forks. The road seemed to go on forever, but soon enough something came into view.
It was a house. One that looked to be three stories tall. As I got closer, I began to think that it looked somewhat abandoned, and I only confirmed my suspicion as I looked into one of the huge windows to see absolute emptiness. I parked the truck before stepping out with my bag.
Up close, it was incredible. It had to be at least over a hundred years old, but in a strange way looked to still be in mint condition. I walked to up the front door, but didn't even think about entering. It was bad enough I was probably on private property, let alone commit breaking and entering. I walked around to the side, and then to the back, taking in the magnificence of it all.
The back side of the house was almost entirely made of windows, and you could easily see straight into the haunting emptiness. I opened up my bag, pulling out my camera, and began snapping photos of it, not caring whether if I was doing the correct things for my project or not.
A wetness ran down my hand, and I looked at the tiny streak of water, questioning where it came from. My eyes shifted skyward, and my question was answered.
It was snowing. The sky so blue and clear, with barely any clouds within sight, and it was snowing. I felt myself stare in awe as to how such a thing were possible, and what were the chances of such things happening.
"Incredible." I whispered.
I began taking pictures of the sky – trying my best to angle it perfectly so I could get the camera to pick up on the faint snowflakes that were falling. My film soon ran out however, and I was left sitting there, in the back yard of some strange one hundred year-old home, gazing at the sky with the same expression of awestruck. I don't remember how much time passed, but as it did, so did my thoughts, as one of the first things that I remembered was the words Paul spoke to me.
"Well, it was actually when I first… saw him. When I first saw him, I realized that I liked him without question."
Paul liked a guy. For some reason, the fact that Paul liked guys hadn't fully registered in my brain until that moment, and as it did, my wandering mind began to think. Think of scenarios of me and Paul. Ones where we were… together. I couldn't help the smile that crept up on my face when I did so.
Being with Paul forever. That was something I could get on board with.
But, he liked someone else.
He loved someone else.
The depressing thoughts soon came, and I all to quickly stood up from the ground. I glanced around, seeing the once blue sky now a warm orange. I questioned how much time had passed, and when I hopped back in my truck, I looked at the stereo to see that I had been there for a few hours. Paul was probably freaking out.
I drove back home, not letting my mind wander again, as I knew I'd only make myself sadder than I needed to be. Soon reaching the outskirts of La Push, I turned onto the road to my house, and the sight in front of me made my eyes narrow.
There was a crowd on my front lawn. I slowed the truck down a bit, as I stared at the driveway to see a few vehicles, along with…
Sam Uley.
Sam was on the porch, his gaze now lingering on me, and I stared back, questioning the look he was giving me. There were others. I recognized Jared almost immediately, along with Embry Call. None of them were wearing shirts, and only had on a pair of denim shorts – like what Paul wore yesterday.
Something ran out in front of the truck, and I luckily slammed on the brakes before anything happened. I watched as Jacob Black, who too was only wearing denim shorts, run around my truck and into the woods by the road; I staring after him, wondering where in the world he was going.
I slowly turned into the driveway, the front door to the house opened, and out came Paul. His eyes almost immediately landed on me, and as I saw the look on his face, my stomach flipped. My hands which almost immediately began shaking, turned off the truck. I didn't bother to pull the key out of the ignition as I stepped out. Paul was almost immediately in front of me. My gaze shifted to the boys behind him; every single one with an expression i couldn't fathom. I looked back to Paul, not saying a single word despite the many questions I had. He let out a large breath, before his mouth began forming the words which I knew I was dreading.
"Let's go for a drive." He said, with the exact same expression he wore on the beach that day. I knew what was coming, but I didn't know if I would be able to bare it again.
I knew it was too good to be true. I knew that what ever happened in these past few days weren't enough to rekindle any kind of friendship that had reformed. The look on his face said it all.
We were in the truck before I even realized, and we were driving somewhere. I didn't know where. I didn't ask. The silence was horrifying, and I couldn't help but try to fight back tears as we made our way to whatever destination.
We ended up at the beach. I almost was surprised that I felt somewhat shocked that he picked the same stage for the re-enactment of this little play. He switched off the engine, and the silence that followed was deafening. He didn't speak first – just like last time – so I knew I had to be the one to start.
"Why are you doing this." I whimpered out, hearing just how pathetic I sounded. "You promised you wouldn't do this again..." He turned to me, and the expression that haunted me was no longer there, and was just left with confusion with a hint of sadness.
"Why did you climb into my room that day? If you knew we were gonna end back up here days later anyways?" I wasn't directly asking him more so than almost asking myself.
"Seth…?" Paul's confusion only worsened, and I couldn't understand what he could possibly be confused about.
"You're doing this again." I hissed through my teeth. "You begged for my forgiveness and friendship, and now you're gonna end it – again."
"Seth, no that isn't-"
"I don't get you!" I shouted, now turning fully towards the boy.
"Seth, I-"
"You know what, enough!" I was exasperated. "After everything we've been through, years and years of friendship, you're now just… Just doing… THIS! AGAIN! You know what, I can't even believe-"
"Seth!" Paul cut me off, putting both of his hands on my face. "I'm not here to end our friendship."
A second passed, and all I could let out was a simple "Oh." My face turned a bright red from absolute embarrassment. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have assumed that… "
"No, I should be apologizing. You had every reason to assume that, and bringing you here for this was completely stupid of me."
My brow furrowed. "This?" What was 'this', And why did he seem so saddened by it.
His face was pained again, and he stared down at his lap.
When he spoke, his voice was low and careful.
"Seth, what I'm about to tell you might…" He sighed with sorrow. "I just want you to know that I love you, and I am here for you." My stomach dropped, and I tried to prepare myself for what was coming.
"O-okay just tell what's wrong because you're really staring to freak me out right now."
He looked up, and when his eyes finally met mine, they looked like they held the weight of the world – my world.
"Seth, you're father had a heart attack... and he didn't make it."
AN: HEY so I don't usually do author's notes but I figured why not. Sorry this chapter took so long, but man I had complete writers block for the past month, and had no ideas on how to advance the story to where I wanted it to be, so sorry if this chapter is a tiny bit short. Luckily I think it turned out okay, and I'm glad I'm passed it, as I now am able to get into the chapters I'm really excited to write about.
Seth almost phased! Whoa that's something cool amirite,,,,
I really just want to thank everyone for continuing to read this sub-par story, and I hope you continue to do so!
