EPISODE FOURTEEN: STORK

(Revised Version - 2018)

"Jack!" Eve called as she entered the room of the newly rebuilt farmhouse. Jack had allowed her enough money to spend on upgrading the entire farm because he didn't know how to do it himself, and the result had been quite good.

"I'm busy." Jack answered, annoyed.

"I wanted to talk about… you know, what we said we would last night."

Jack did not have a clue what she was talking about, but this was no different from any other conversation they had together. He simply ignored her.

"Jack! I want to talk about it NOW!" She yelled.

"Then talk." Jack plugged his ears.

"And I want you to listen!" she pulled his hands down to his side.

"I told you, I'm busy!" Jack yelled back.

"You aren't even doing anything!"

"I'm busy doing nothing! Haven't you ever done it?" Jack didn't care to listen to her answer, but knew from experience that she would give it to him anyway.

"That isn't being busy at all! I want to talk about having a baby!"

Jack looked at her oddly. He remembered asking Nina's mother where babies come from, but he had finally concluded that she was crazy and could not be trusted. He had also remembered overhearing the village children talking about it... something about a stork was mentioned. Yes! Eve must want him to make a visit to a stork and ask for a baby!

"I'll get one tomorrow." He stated.

"What?" Eve asked, confused.

"I'll go get one tomorrow!"

"And how do you suppose you are going to do that?"

Jack had no idea where to find the stork, or even what it looked like. He grunted something, hoping she would leave him alone for the time being, but this did not happen.

"Jack!"

"I'll ask one of the girls in town." He said, knowing that she would understand that the women in the village were the smartest.

"Y…You! I hate you, Jack!" She stormed off, thinking he had meant something entirely different.

Not knowing what had caused this sudden outburst, Jack decided that perhaps the time to visit the stork should be now, rather than later. He called to Ruff once he'd got stepped outside, and soon the two were on their way into town.

Intermission

Jack asked around all day, but it seemed that no one knew of any stork living near the town. He thought long and hard about his predicament. It was a rather odd situation to be in. To think that his having a child should involve some big-beaked bird was more than a little peculiar.

Giving up on his dependency others, Jack decided it was time to take a look through the mountain pass to see if any of the animals knew where the stork may be.

First he asked the sparrow. Being a bird itself, it was the most logical place to begin his search.

"Hi, bird. Take me to your leader." Jack commanded.

The sparrow turned its head to the side and chirped once before flying away. Jack ran after the bird in an attempt to track it, but the creature disappeared into the trees where such a task would be impossible.

"I can't keep up!" Jack complained into the sky just as his little dog started biting at his pant leg.

Next, the boy spotted a rabbit. He tried his best to catch the rabbit and ask him where a stork could be found, but the rabbit was also too fast for him.

"After him, Ruff!" The dog took off in a flash and soon returned with the rabbit between his teeth.

"Where can I find a stork, Mr. Rabbit?" Jack asked the prisoner.

The rabbit was dead.

"Hmm, not talking? That's okay, we have ways of making you talk," Jack smiled to himself. "Apply pressure, Ruff."

The dog shook his head wildly from left to right, shaking the lifeless rodent at terrible speeds.

"Still not talking?" Jack inquired, giving the rabbit a chance to speak. It never did. "It seems you can withstand quite a lot of pain, rabbit!" Jack said angrily.

Losing interest in the dead animal, Ruff dropped it at Jack's feet and continued on his way down the path to find a nice spot to mark his territory.

Soon after, Jack spotted a parrot (wtf?).

"You! Tell me where the stork is!" Jack yelled accusingly.

"You! Tell me where the stork is!" The parrot repeated.

"Aha! So animals CAN talk!" Jack had caught the bird red-winged.

"Aha! So animals CAN talk!"

"Stop that!" Jack yelled back.

"Stop that, Squuuaaackk!"

Jack walked away, "Jerk."

"Squuuaaackk! Jerk!"

Jack continued down the path in search of his dog, it was not long before he was found.

"I know your secret," Jack looked down at the dog seriously. "I know you can speak! So out with it! Where is the stork!" He yelled down at Ruff.

It was then that the dog decided Jack's leg would be the perfect spot to mark his territory. Jack punted him hard.

"I thought we were friends!"

The rest of the day was spent in the mountain areas, but none of the animals seemed to want to give Jack any new information regarding the whereabouts of the great stork. The situation was beginning to seem hopeless, but then Jack remembered someone who may be able to help him.

Jack went to the goddess pond and prayed to the Harvest goddess for a stork. Or, at least, a hint as to where the stork could be found.

"What do you want, Jack?" Jack looked up from his praying position and stared into the eyes of the harvest goddess herself.

"Hi! I almost married you, remember?" Jack smiled in greeting.

"Yes… and I've regretted meeting you ever since." She admitted coldly.

"I have a problem." Jack continued with his mission.

"A big one. Oh... you meant a situation."

"A sit-you-what?"

"Nevermind, Jack. What is your problem?"

"I need a stork."

She looked at him oddly, what in the world did he need a stork for?

"Is this a joke?" She was getting angry.

"No… it's for my kid!"

"You reproduced! God save us all." The goddess said a prayer of her own.

"I dunno what you mean by that, but I need a stork badly!" Jack pressed on.

"Why do you want a stork, Jack?"

"Because then Eve won't be mad at me anymore, and she can be happy, and she won't hurt me, and things will go back to being okay again, and then…"

"Okay, okay! I get it, you married someone just as dull as you are and for absolutely no reason at all she wants a stork… much the same way you want chickens all the time." The harvest goddess concluded.

"Do you have any? Chickens are fun too!" Jack bounced to his feet eagerly.

"Which is it, Jack? A stork or a chicken?"

"A chicken… inside the stork's beak!" Jack was being clever now.

The harvest goddess was not amused, "Good-bye, Jack." And with that, she was gone.

Suddenly, a stork appeared from out of the sky and flew down towards Jack and his little dog.

"Great stork! Gimme a baby, or I'll chop you in half!" Jack threatened.

The stork stood at attention for another moment longer, and then flew away.

"Crap."

Intermission

Jack had finally given up hope. Defeated, he walked slowly back to the farm to face Eve. The girl was found sleeping in their bed, and he walked over and kissed her on the forehead.

Yeer: 3 Munth: 1 Day: hoo nose

I tride my bestest 2 git the stork but I cudint find it. I donnt think the harvist godis lix mee eneemore eether. Eev wonts a babee but I cantt git wun fer her evin tho I wont 2 hav wun 2.

As he wrote in his journal, Eve had awoken and was reading from behind him without his knowing. She noticed two things: one was that Jack had some serious spelling issues, and secondly, he loved her very dearly. She did not know what the story about the stork was, but she knew that at some point during the day, Jack had changed his mind and now wanted to have a child just as much as she did. And it was all because he wanted her to be happy.

"Jack…" she said quietly, trying not to startle him. She failed.

Jack panicked and ran under the bed. Realizing that he was safe, he poked his head out and listened to what she had to say.

"I think that it is time we had a baby."

"I…" Jack was about to tell her he already tried that, which wouldn't have been a good thing for her to hear, but she cut him off instead.

"Come to bed, dear."

"… You have a stork in the sheets…?"

THE END