Family Dinner
Dojutsu Bunch #2
If there was an argument going on in the Hyuuga-Uchiha household, 8 times out of 10 it would be between Hinata and Sasuke. It was understandable, as they were the same age, best friends, and in the same class in all. But, alas, being so close to each other meant that even if they laughed together, they would cry and scream together.
1 out of the other 2 out of 10, it would be Sasuke arguing with Itachi, if you would count Itachi patiently listening to Sasuke's rants and Itachi being right most of the time as 'arguing.'
The last 1 out of 10 was between Sasuke and Neji. The older boy was pretty good at keeping his cool. 99% of the time. He had to act mature, being the 2nd eldest in their makeshift family, even though he was only one year older than The Two. And while Sasuke went on explosive rampages when angry, Neji simmered and steamed, his anger bubbling like a boiling pot, and if you got to close, you'd get burned for sure.
Oh, but when he let go of all his urges to be mature and levelheaded, he went at it. And no one could make him go quite like Sasuke did when he annoyed the shit out of him.
Right now was one of those times.
"You fucking idiot!" The expletive somehow still sounded like velvet in Neji's voice, whose veins protruded around his eyes in a deathly byakugan glare.
It looked like they were sparring in their courtyard, which was pretty normal for them. Sasuke and Neji were all agility, grace-even if they were beating the shit out of each other.
Hanabi peeked out of the sliding door into the coutryard. "You think they're gonna hurt each other this time, Nii-san?" she asked through sips of a strawberry milk box. She pushed an inch of her long brown hair behind an ear as she watched the spat.
Itachi kept his eyes on cleaning the fish they were going to eat for dinner. The rice was cooking in the cooker and the miso soup was just about ready. "No," he said smoothly, unphased by the commotion outside. His sleek glasses almost slid down his nose and he pushed it up with the back of his arm. "Are Konohamaru and his team still coming over for dinner tonight?"
Hanabi grinned "Yup!" She was nearly bouncing with excitement. Usually peers were too scared to befriend them, so having guests over for the youngest member of the Hyuuga-Uchiha family was a pretty big deal.
They chatted casually for a while, listening to the various sounds of blasts and explosions outside
Finally they heard the sounds of chirping birds stop abruptly and an, "Eight Trigrams Sixty-four Palms!"
Itachi sighed. "Ah, here it comes." A quick frown, then, "I hope they don't destroy the last of the tomato plants."
After the dust had cleared, Sasuke lay immobile in the dirt. Neji came over and bunched up the front of his shirt in one hand, pulling him up to eye level and slamming him against one of the walls.
Neji seethed in his ear, "Eat fucking dirt." He threw Sasuke on the ground and stomped off towards the kitchen. Sweat glistened as his chest rose and fall from the exertion. His long, silky hair flew out after him, its tie long lost in the fight. He entered the room with a bang of the sliding door, byakugan still active.
"B. F. F.'s," Hanabi sang, stepping lithely to the side to avoid her angry cousin.
"He's a fucking idiot." Neji growled, continuing his stomp past his family as they pursed their lips sympathetically and exchanged knowing looks. Hanabi passed him a glass of water and he snatched it quickly, gulping it down with one swallow.
Itachi allowed him to catch his breath before stating calmly, "If you're done, go clean up and get ready for dinner. I don't want you two smelling like ass when the guests arrive."
Neji froze and finally closed his eyes, deactivating his byakugan and taking a long breath to calm himself. "Yeah. Right. I forgot."
"Which means you need to help Sasuke shower, since he'll still probably be lying in the dirt when everyone gets here." Itachi finished salting the fish and glanced out the window to the heap that was Sasuke on the ground. "You know, if you don't."
Neji rolled his eyes and groaned. "Fuck."
Itachi raised his brow pointedly. "Your mess."
"He's his own mess," he grumbled in response. "UGH," Neji groaned again, slamming his forearms and the empty water glass on the counter next to Hanabi, who jumped and leaned away from her sweaty cousin. "Can I not come?"
"What happened this time, Nii-san?" piped Hanabi, swinging her legs on the counter next to Itachi where she had plopped herself.
Neji exhaled a quick breath. "I'll tell you later." He burst out the same door which he entered, stomping across the yard.
Itachi and Hanabi peeked out the window to see Neji snatch his younger brother up easily over his shoulder, that same severe scowl gracing his face. His lips were moving fast, and they could both tell he was still muttering expletives to the Uchiha, and vice versa, moving towards the back end of the house where their sleeping quarters were to help him wash up.
"Wow," mused Hanabi, the straw still between her lips as she sucked up the last of her drink.
Itachi sighed and then peered over his glasses at her. "Are you ready for the guests?"
"Yup!" Hanabi said proudly as she chucked her drink in the trash from across the room with pinpoint accuracy and barely a glance. "Nee-san said she'd help me fix my hair."
"I can help you," Itachi offered.
"Tadaima," a sweet, familiar voice called out.
Hanabi's face lit up and she turned on her heel towards the front of the house.
"Okaeri, Nee-san!" Itachi heard Hanabi exclaim.
"You're getting heavy, Hanabi!" Hinata's voice sounded strained as Hanabi probably jumped on her.
"Okaeri, Hinata," the eldest Uchiha said as Hinata entered the kitchen.
"Tadaima, Itachi-nii," Hinata greeted with that pretty smile they all loved, her younger sister latched onto her arm.
Her presence always made the house brighter. He bent his head down so she could give him a kiss on the cheek. "How's Kurenai-san doing?"
"She and the baby are doing fine, thank goodness," Hinata sighed happily. "Ino's next on rotation, and then Shikamaru-kun, so I don't need to be there for a while."
Hinata's only maternal influence was with her sensei, and she in turn, was Hanabi's own maternal figure.
"Nee-san, can you braid my hair the way you showed me for tonight?" Hanabi bounced.
"Of course! Have you thought about what you wanted to wear?"
Itachi smiled as he listened to the girls chatter. It was soothing after listening to Sasuke and Neji fight for the past two hours.
"There's that dress I'm sure Konohamaru-kun would like to see you in one."
"Nee-san!" Hanabi hissed. "I don't care about things like that! Or what Konohamaru thinks!"
Hinata giggled into her hand. "Of course you don't."
"Do you need help preparing dinner Itachi-nii?" she asked, head turning to him.
"No, I'm finishing up here," Itachi shook his head. "Go on and get ready with Hanabi."
He watched Hanabi grasp Hinata's arm excitedly as they headed out of the kitchen, their heads close together.
"Now only if those boys would behave," Itachi muttered, as he turned to the cupboards to get the utensils ready for the table.
The dinner was going well. Or as well as Itachi could hope for. Besides the occasional mutterings of insults under Sasuke's and Neji's breath to each other, the younger kids were chatting happily. The food seemed to be delicious, as they had all cleaned their plates, and now they were enjoying some dessert, one of Hinata's homemade cakes.
The younger academy kids were swapping stories with each other on one side of the table when Neji and Sasuke had started arguing about something once again.
"Are you kidding me?" Neji's voice boomed suddenly. The others looked up in surprise, a fork or two clinking onto the plate. "To my fanclub? Really, Sasuke?"
"Neji." Itachi warned.
"W-what's going on, Neji-nii?" asked Hinata, who was oblivious to their earlier fight, though she too had felt the tension between the two brothers the entire night.
"This idiot is selling my stuff to my fanclub!" Neji seethed over at Itachi.
"What's one more article of clothing?" Sasuke shrugged.
"What's one more testicle after I fucking castrate you?" Neji mocked.
Itachi inhaled sharply, his eyes darting to Hanabi and her friends whose eyes were wide as they listened. Ooh boy, Neji was m.a.d. to have filthy language in front of children.
Sasuke snickered. "It's not my fault you're such a pretty boy."
"I'M the pretty boy?" Neji's head whipped around. "You're the prettiest fucking pretty boy if there ever was one."
"What exactly, may I ask, did you sell, Sasuke?" Itachi deadpanned, yet the venom directed to his youngest brother that dripped from his voice was completely audible, and effective enough to snap Sasuke back into place.
Sasuke mumbled something under his breath.
"Excuse me? What was that?"
Sasuke cleared his throat and said a little more loudly, "His, uh, boxers."
The table was silent.
"You're fucking dead." Neji's byakugan activated at once and they both jumped up from the table. "Again."
Sasuke's sharingan was activated as well and he snarled, "You're on."
"SIT the FUCK down," Itachi's voice was unheard as they disappeared immediately into the yard with the speed expected from a member from both clans. The now-empty chairs clattered to the floor. He shook his head.
"Sorry, Konohamaru-kun, Moegi-chan, Udon-kun," Hinata said nervously as she watched Itachi struggle to keep his composure, the only telltale sign of anger one vein popping up on his temple.
Moegi, Udon, and Konohamaru shook their heads. "It's fine," Moegi said.
"Bet you 5000 ryo that Neji-nii's gonna win," Hanabi grinned towards Konohamaru.
"I'll take that bet," Konohamaru smirked back.
"Hanabi," Itachi gave her an exasperated look. "Do you even have 5000 ryo?"
Hinata glanced at her sister curiously for a moment. "You were the one who gave Sasuke Neji-nii's boxers weren't you?"
Hanabi rolled her eyes to the ceiling suspiciously. "Maybe."
Hinata put a hand to her face. "Hanabi," she sighed.
"As expected of President-sama!" Moegi squealed before catching herself and clapping both hands over her mouth.
Hanabi glared over at her and then looked guiltily at Itachi, who was frowning at her down his nose.
"Hanabi," Itachi said a little more sharply.
He waited for her to speak, once again ignoring the explosions outside.
"I might be... president of the four fanclubs," she mumbled with her head down.
"Four fanclubs?
"You, Sasu-nii, Neji-nii, and Nee-san?" Haabi said sheepishly, pointing her two index fingers together like her older sister did sometimes.
Everyone held their breath.
"You're grounded."
"Ehhhh? But Nii-san, it's the academy picnic-" Hanabi's face fell as she got up from her chair.
"You're grounded. And you're disbanding all four fanclubs."
"I can't just disband-"
"Then you're resigning as president." Itachi crossed his arms. "And you're cleaning up the courtyard every time those two fight for the next year. By yourself."
"But-" Hanabi looked crestfallen as she saw the sympathetic looks on her classmates' faces.
"But nothing. I'm sure you've sold one of each of our underwear. And Kami knows what else."
"Hanabi?!" Hinata asked in disbelief and embarrasssment, her face reddening.
"Sorry, Nee-san," Hanabi mumbled. Her hands were balled into tight fists and she turned to her guests, bowing in apology. "Thank you for coming. I look forward to your next visit." Then, to Itachi and Hinata, "Thank you for the meal," before she trudged out of the room.
"Ano... Maybe we should go," Moegi squeaked nervously.
"We'll walk you out," Hinata offered, rising from the table with Itachi. "I wished you could've all stayed a little longer."
"We do, too," Udon piped. "Thank you for the meal."
"Yes, thank you," echoed Moegi and Konohamaru as they trailed after the older shinobi.
"Sorry you had to see an ugly side to our family," Itachi smiled apologetically to his younger guests, as he showed them the door. "I hope you really enjoyed the meal at least."
"Not at all, Itachi-nii-chan!" Konohomaru said cheerily. "In fact, I think it's fun to be a part of your family. Except for maybe Sasuke-nii-chan and Neji-nii-chan, you guys aren't scary at all!"
"Yeah!" Moegi nodded. "You must all love each other a whole lot!"
Itachi chuckled. "Out of all that ruckus, you managed to get the impression that we all love each other, huh?"
"Of course! I can't wait 'til the next time we get to come over," Konohamaru beamed.
"Although..." Udon continued as he watched Konohamaru's face scrunch in disappointment. "It will be after Hanabi-san is done being grounded."
Hinata giggled and patted their heads. "It won't be for too long. Hanabi will do anything to make sure Itachi-nii is happy. Besides, Itachi-nii spoils our Hanabi. Can you find your way back okay?"
The big smiles returned to their faces and Konohamaru nodded. "Nn! Thanks Hina-nee-chan! I'll see you soon!"
Hinata and Itachi both waved them off at the front of the complex. The sounds of the fight in the courtyard had died down once again. This time, it sounded like there were no winners.
Itachi sighed. "I'll go talk to Hanabi. She's probably going to sulk if I don't see her. Hinata, please clean up for me will you?"
"Hai, Nii-san," Hinata smiled at him. "I'll take care of it."
"There's more healing ointment that you made in the cupboard for those two when they're done. Although, maybe you can make sure they learn their lesson for fighting in front of guests," Itachi called as he went towards the bedrooms.
Hinata mustered up her chakra to carry Neji and Sasuke one by one into the house and on to couches.
"I will block the tenketsu points in your mouths if I have to listen to you cursing each other out," she had threatened. "So sit quietly while I clean the table and wash the dishes and then I'll heal you."
Itachi came later with Hanabi on his back. She looked like she had cried a little in frustration. She hated when Itachi scolded her because she didn't like to disappoint him. Hinata looked up from cleaning the scrapes and bruises on Sasuke's and Neji's skin and applying ointment.
"Did you make up?" she asked her sister gently.
Hanabi nodded as Itachi put her down next to her injured brothers.
"They did too," Hinata pointed to the boys with her chin.
"Sorry we ruined your dinner, Hanabi," Neji grunted.
"That's okay," Hanabi said. "Sorry I sold your stuff to your fans, Neji-nii. You too, Sasu-nii, Ita-nii." She met the eyes of her brothers sincerely, and then to Hinata. "Nee-san."
"Why would you be the president of our fanclubs?" Sasuke coughed, straining to talk under his injuries. "You're our family."
"Because! I'm the biggest fan of all of you, duh!" Hanabi stood up a red Hinata-esque blush on her face. "I love you the most out of anyone! Those people think they know you when they have no idea, it's disgusting sometimes!"
They all froze in surprise, their eyes wide and jaws open.
Itachi burst out in laughter. "What's with that, Hanabi?" He reached down and tucked her head under his arm. "You don't need to be president of a fanclub to be our biggest fan! And yet you still have the nerve to sell our clothing."
"Better than taking your pictures and selling them or giving them our address so they can harass us! It's better this way!" Hanabi protested. "I can control those nasty fangirls!"
Sasuke and Neji were snorting to themselves as Hanabi struggled under Itachi's arm, trying to pull her head out. "Stop making me laugh! It hurts," Sasuke managed.
Hinata reached out to squeeze her sister's hand once Itachi had released her. "We already know you love us the most out of anyone, Hanabi."
"Thank you, Hanabi." Neji gave her a soft look from the couch. "I hope we didn't scare your friends away."
"Just the opposite," Itachi reassured. "It seems like they had fun. I'm sure they'll be coming over soon."
Hanabi's eyes brightened and she hugged Itachi's waist happily.
"But if you two start fighting at the dinner table again..." Itachi's mangekyou flashed threateningly to the boys on the couch who flinched in response as they got a glimpse of themselves being tortured in a brief genjutsu. "And I don't want to hear anymore of this fanclub nonsense." His eyes turned to Hanabi, who shrunk away from him and towards her sister.
"G-got it!" Hanabi exclaimed, squeezing her eyes shut and burying her face in Hinata's arm.
"Now, can't we just relax with each other for a bit?" Itachi asked as he sank down on the couch next to where Neji lay. "You and I all have missions in a row."
Hinata sighed. "That's right. We won't be able to spend time together like this for a while." She settled onto the couch with Sasuke.
Hanabi climbed up onto Itachi's lap like she was a younger child. "Does that mean I have to stay with Kurenai-sensei while you're all gone again?" She made a disappointed face.
"Aa," Itachi nodded as he patted her head affectionately. "Only for that time Sasuke, Neji, Hinata, and I are all out."
"Can we plan the next dinner when you're all back?" Hanabi pleaded.
"Alright, what do you want to eat next time?"
"I want omurice!" she announced.
"What about beef curry?" Hinata suggested. "Or katsudon?"
"I'm good with omurice," Sasuke said, gaining more feeling in his face.
"I want korokke," Neji stated.
Sasuke scowled. "Why korokke?"
"Because I want it, got a problem with it?"
"Didn't I just say to relax a bit?" Itachi nudged Neji sharply, who sucked in his breath in pain. "Beef curry and korokke sound good. Omurice, too. We'll just make it all."
"Is there anyone else you want to invite?" Hinata asked Hanabi.
"We can have the same people, or more of your teammates, if you like," Itachi went on.
"Hell no, I'm not having Naruto over," Sasuke retorted.
"Or Lee," Neji agreed.
"And I don't want anymore loudmouths like Kiba, or Ino, or Sakura either," Sasuke continued.
"You're right," Itachi rolled his eyes sarcastically. "We already have enough loudmouths as it is here at home."
"I'm not loud!"
"At home, all of you are loud and annoying. I don't care how cool, calm, and collected you look in front of your friends." Itachi shot back to his blood brother. "Can we please go two minutes without fighting, for once?"
"Let's just have dinner then, just us!" Hinata said, trying to prevent another argument.
"...pain in the ass," Sasuke muttered over to Itachi. "You and Neji."
Hinata sighed, shaking her head as the boys all got into it this time, Sasuke and Neji raising their head from where they lay and arguing from across the room. "Forget it."
Hanabi laughed over the heated verbal exchange from across the room. "You know, Nee-san, I like it like this anyway." She put her head against Itachi's and winked at her sister, giving her a peace sign and sticking out her tongue.
Her older sister grinned and placed a hand over Sasuke's eyes, shoving him down back onto the couch and earning a yelp and a "What the fuck, Hinata?" from him and effectively ending whatever tirade he was on at the moment.
"You're right, Hanabi. It wouldn't be home without it."
I: 21
N: 17
S/H: 16
H: 11
