It's Monday!

For those who are wondering about Gray's interactions with Lucy while he's playing pretend fiance, here you go. :)

I feel a little bit bad actually...I have a really bad habit of using Graylu as a plot device. And it feels a little cheap to use them this way. But they're two characters that are so easy to pair temporarily because it inconveniences other characters. It's important for me to keep in mind that even though they're not one of my ships (not that I have anything against them either), but they're somebody's OTP.

I'm not always successful, but I try my hardest to be sensitive about other ships, partly because just about all of my friends IRL ship wildly opposing things...It's one thing to want to root for your ship and to be a fervent supporter, but it's another to flame or invalidate what another person likes. It's immature and kind of a jerk move...and I try really hard not to be that person. That being said, one day I hope to write Gray and Lucy a proper story. But this isn't their universe.

Anyways, completely off topic rambling there...

darling spider: Cana is one of my favorites! I didn't realize I'd like her that much, but I did. XD. Thanks!

- K. Chandler


Lucy's heart was heavy.

She wanted to believe in Gray. He had been so charming, asking for her to trust him. Asking for a chance to make her happy.

There was a little part of her that was holding out hope for a chance that they could be happy together. Then she'd catch his morose expression as he stared out at the horizon.

He didn't want to be here.

And in all honesty, neither did she.

Twice, Lucy almost said something to him about it. Almost asked him to call off their engagement. But then he'd give her that roguish grin and say something sweet. And she'd let it drop.

Sometimes she wished she was braver.

Lucy did have to admit that there was one good thing that came from this arrangement. Her father had ceased his dogged efforts at social climbing. Whatever Gray had told him seemed to have satisfied him for the time being.

"Is this okay?" Gray asked. He had taken her into town for a stroll along the promenade. She thought it was a good choice. Both of them could stand to get away from the castle for a while.

"Sure."

And for a moment, neither of them spoke. They walked in silence, and Lucy could almost pretend they were simply enjoying each other's company.

"What's the matter?" he asked gently.

Lucy leaned folded arms against the railing, looking out at the water. "It's not important," she said.

But it was important. They were four days away from making a decision with very permanent consequences.

"You're upset," he observed. "D'you wanna tell me what's bothering you?"

In the short time that they'd known each other, Gray had been an absolute saint. He was thoughtful and patient with her, even though she didn't always feel like being nice in return. He put up with her father's demands and gave her the space she needed to work through the news. He really did seem like a good person.

He didn't deserve this.

But neither did she.

"I'm just wondering if this is right," she admitted.

Gray's eyes were guarded as he looked towards her. "Any reason why it wouldn't be?" he asked carefully.

"I don't know," she said, her voice soft.

But she did know.

"Gray? Do you think we'll be happy?" asked Lucy.

Gray paused to consider this. "I think we could be," he said seriously. "Besides, I promised you I'd make sure you were happy, whatever that ends up meaning," he added. "So, the answer would be 'yes'," he said, flashing that grin at her, the one that made his eyes sparkle with mischief.

But she didn't smile back. Lucy knew that Gray was more than just handsome and well-connected. He was also clever, compassionate and loyal. By all rights, Lucy knew that she was lucky to be his fiancée. Captain Gray Fullbuster was the sort of man that any woman should have proud to call her husband.

But Lucy didn't feel lucky or proud. Gray didn't make her feel the way he did.

"You look like you don't believe me," Gray observed.

"It would be easier to believe if you didn't always look so unhappy," Lucy pointed out.

"Me? I'm not unhappy," Gray said quickly. "Why would you think that?"

"You just look like you're somewhere else," she said, feeling a little like a hypocrite.

Lately her dreams had been filled with another man. An exuberant sailor with vivid hair, olive-green eyes and a cheeky smile. It felt wrong thinking of another man this way when she was soon was to be wed. Yet thoughts of Natsu seemed right, in their own way.

"You've caught me," said Gray, raising his hands in symbolic surrender. "Lucy, I'm a sailor," he sighed. "I belong out there. Not here. That's all it is."

"Really?"

"Out on the waves, sea air in your face, it's the best feeling," Gray confided with a grin. "Freedom at its finest."

"Freedom?" asked Lucy quietly. "Is that what it looks like?"

Gray let out a slow breath. "I think it might look different for everybody," he said slowly.

"What does it look like for you?"

Gray gave her a curious look. "The open sea," he said, his eyes drawn toward the docks. "My ship. My command. My crew. And the woman I'd like to spend the rest of my life with, of course," he added, almost as an afterthought.

"Of course," she echoed. "Although that does sound lovely," she said softly.

"What about you?" he asked. "What does your freedom look like?"

Gray's question startled Lucy a little. She hadn't honestly given it any serious thought before. Her father had always told her what she would do and how she should act. There was never room for her opinions, her dreams.

She had, at one point, considered running away. Going out and finding someplace that she could be herself. Someplace to belong. Someplace really and truly hers.

But she never did.

It wasn't like she would be able to simply start a new life somewhere. Without money or skills, she'd never survive. Besides, even if escape were possible, she knew that wherever she went, Jude Heartfilia would be able to find her. With her father's unlimited resources, Lucy knew that there'd be no future for her if she left.

So instead, she kept her mouth shut and put up with her father's demands, even when she didn't agree with them. Not that this was any kind of future either.

Lucy shrugged. "I wouldn't know. I've always done what I was told. What was expected of me. The good daughter," she said, her voice almost mocking.

Sometimes, Lucy wished she had the courage to stand up to her father. But she couldn't just say no. No one said no to Jude Heartfilia.

"It's not wrong to be a dutiful daughter," said Gray carefully. His eyes had a far-away look. "Y'know, somebody once told me that we don't all have the luxury of choices. Sometimes we have to do what's expected of us."

"Even if you don't think what you're doing is right?"

The words hung heavy between them, stretching into silence.

Finally Gray responded. "Some days you gotta decide whether it's more important to do what's best or what's right." There was a flicker of self-loathing in his eyes that passed so quickly Lucy almost thought she was mistaken.

Lucy felt a tug of connection in her chest.

Gray was just like she was. A prisoner of circumstance. In another time and place, she might have felt a surge of empathy for her fellow captive. Another poor, choiceless soul. But at the moment, it was nice to have a kindred spirit who understood.

"I never realized just how alike we are," she said. "If things were different…"

"What does that mean?" he asked sharply.

"It's nothing," she said. If things had been different, then… "Maybe we could be happy," she said, echoing his earlier words.

"And we're gonna be," he assured her. "Trust me."

And in her heart, she willed herself to believe it.


Poor Lucy...

Aside from the fact that she needs to take the reins and take charge (which, she will; she just needs a little push. Can anyone guess who's going to be the one who gives her that motivation?), I kind of like this angle for Lucy. In the original Hans Christian Anderson version, the prince's other woman was a princess from a neighboring country and the first person that the prince saw when he woke up on the beach. She was, coincidentally, his arranged bride. There was no scheming on her part and the prince had no reason not to say yes.

Similarly, Lucy doesn't have any malicious intent here. She doesn't know anything about Gray or Juvia, and the only thing she's at fault for is not sticking to her standards and calling off a wedding that she doesn't even want. Of course, if she did cancel the wedding at the get-go (like our sassy canon-Lucy would have), there wouldn't be a story. (And our culprit would probably make another attempt on Lyon's life, possibly murder Gray too, and maybe take over the kingdom...not really sure here, but Lucy's silence is not necessarily a bad thing.)

Next time, in Silence, Gray runs into Juvia and it is not a happy time: But how he wanted to reach for her. To hold her. To tell her the truth.

Stop back next Monday for the next installment, or just follow me, Karine of R011ingThunder.