Character Appreciation: Edgar Bones

Showtime, Suddenly: "I'm so afraid of failing you"

Word Count: 396


"What are you thinking about?" Fabian asks, his thin fingers pushing gently through Edgar's dark red hair.

Edgar chuckles, but he's all too aware of how hollow it sounds. "What makes you so sure I'm thinking about anything at all?"

His lover sits up and leans close. His warm breath washes over Edgar, tickling his skin. Edgar shivers.

"You've got that faraway look," Fabian answers. "Like you're off in outer space or something. You only ever get that look whenever you're deep in thought. So, what is it?"

Edgar considers lying; it should be easy enough to come up with a believable tale. Still, Fabian knows him too well. He would see through Edgar in a heartbeat.

He offers Fabian a small, shaky smile. "I'm so afraid of failing you."

For several moments, there is only silence between them. Edgar swallows dryly, his fingers drumming impatiently on the arm of his chair.

It isn't easy to admit feelings, especially during such uncertain times. War is hardly the place for romance, but here there are. Part of Edgar wonders if it would be kinder to end things where they are and move along. Maybe there will be hope for them whenever the war is finally over.

But he knows it won't happen. Fabian is like an addiction he can't break.

Finally, Fabian breaks the silence with a sigh. "You could never fail me," he murmurs, wrapping his arms around Edgar and pulling him close. "I love you."

Edgar tries to smile, but the tug of his lips feels so wrong. "I love you too."


His heart feels as though it's being ripped to shreds as he stands over the matching headstones. Edgar wipes a tear from his eye, sniffling. "I failed you," he whispers. "I should have been there to protect you."

It's been a week since he had watched them lay Fabian and Gideon in the ground. In that week, he's felt the guilt slowly consume him.

He had tried so hard to keep Fabian safe. In the end, his efforts had been in vain.

Fabian wouldn't want him to blame himself; he knows that his lover would hold him close and whisper over and over that it isn't his fault.

But Fabian isn't here, and Edgar can only hear his own accusatory voice in his head.

Should have done more.

Could have saved him.

Failure.