BLU Barracks
Things were a little bit different at BLU base than the mayhem at RED base. Instead of a mixture of fear and distraught, there was a blend of confusion and festivities. Most of the mercenaries were gathered around a table where Spy was sitting, while the latter told of how he survived.
"It was simple, really." Scoffed Spy as he puffed out a cloud of smoke. "I used my Dead Ringer watch to feign death by a RED Sniper. The Painis freak had seen me die, so he assumed I was already dead. While he ran to clear out survivors, I snuck into the emptied RED base's intelligence room, stole the briefcase, and snuck back into BLU base unnoticed." A rupture of applause echoed the room, but it was immediately halted when the Sniper ran into the room, holding some files in his hands.
"Take a look at what I just received from one of the Administrator's television men!" He franticly sputtered, tossing the file onto the table, spilling the contents everywhere. Engineer picked up an envelope and read the letter inside.
"For winning the first ever Freak included battle, I, the Administrator, have been told to send you this information regarding our project, in addition to…"
"Hey, this is a list of all of the possible Freaks!" Scout said, snatching one of the papers from the file. "There are over 300 names on here!" Engineer let out a low growl.
"Son, you're lucky I don't blow that dumb lit off of your head for interrupting me." He continued reading the letter. "-In addition to all of the registered Freaks, and some listed weaknesses. May it serve you well in future missions, as more Freaks are injected into battle. P.S: Due to unforeseen circumstances, several Freaks have broken containment and are running loose. Do not kill these Freaks unless deemed necessary." A quiet hush fell over the room over this news. Freaks on the run? That's bad news.
"We can easily handle those free Freaks," Scout said. "Especially with the names of some of these bozos: Fadkiller, Dic Soupcan, Medizard, and hell, there's a guy named freakin' GAYPENIS!" Scout began laughing at these bizarre names.
"Painis Cupcake is strange name," Heavy muttered. "And we know how dangerous he is!" There was a sudden knocking on the door. All of the mercs froze in place.
"Mmph mmph mmmmph." Pyro mumbled. He stepped forward and slowly opened the door. If anyone could see what lay behind that gasmask of Pyro's, they could see gaping wide eyes, and they would too when they saw what he… she… it… saw. Beyond the door were several Spies, all a mixture of RED and BLU, and all crouching in a crab-like pose with their disguise kits over their heads. Demoman joined the Pyro at the door, his single eye bulging from his head in shock.
"Ay, Scout," Demoman called. "What does that list say about Spies that look like crabs?" Scout began to scan the list in the 'S' section.
"Seeman, Slender Mann, Spyper, Snyphurr, Spyder… Spycrabs!" He narrowed down the list until coming to a picture of a Spy standing in a crab-like position. Medic snatched the list out of Scout's hands and read it over.
"Spycrabs are a migratory species of Spy-freaks." He read. "Zey travel in packs to new locations to thrive und populate. They are non-hostile, behaving like ze crabs, but will attack if provoked." He tossed the paper on the table. "Vell comrades, ve should just let zem go." As if the Medic ordered them to, the Spycrabs began to scuttle across the floors and swarm the room, standing atop random objects and wandering around. It was all good and peaceful until…
"Spy sappin' my sentry!" Engineer shouted. Sure enough, some of the Spycrabs were placing sappers on the Engineer's buildings. Just as he ran over to smack the sappers off with his wrench, the Spycrabs reacted. The disguise kits in their hands had transformed into knives, poised over the Texan's head, waiting for the preemptive moment to strike. Engineer backed off, and so did the Spycrabs.
"Get off!" Heavy shouted. One of the Spycrabs was sitting on his head, and would not let go. "It is like unwanted hat! Get off!"
"Hold still!" Sniper said, his rifle poised to kill. Heavy tried to remain calm, but the thought of a Spy/crab hybrid Freak sitting on his head was unnerving. Sniper fired a single round into the Spycrab's head, and it slumped to the floor dead. All the Spycrabs turned towards Sniper, their eyes normally calm and collective now filled with shock and hatred. Looks like Sniper stirred the hive. The Spycrabs exchanged their disguise kits for knives, let out a loud scream, and went into a full on frenzy. They began scuttling amok, like furious crabs, wildly stabbing at the air. The mercs panicked and gathered in a large cluster, randomly firing at the swarm of Spycrabs. Most fell prey to Heavy's minigun and Pyro's flamethrower, but they were on full onslaught, showing no signs of weakness of fatigue. Just as the Spycrabs clambered over the mercs, ready to kill, a high pitched beeping caused the Spycrabs to stop and look at the door.
There stood Miss Pauling, holding a megaphone and a small revolver.
"All Spycrabs leave the barracks immediately." Miss Pauling said through the megaphone. "We will take you to your breeding grounds if you halt all attacks on BLU." The Spycrabs became calm once again, and those that survived the onslaught scuttled out the door, leaving the dumbstruck mercenaries… well, dumbstruck.
"Thanks for the help, Miss Pauling." Soldier said, giving a salute. "We'd never encountered these Freaks before, but they were worthy adversaries."
"They're a Freak Species that was created by pure accident." Miss Pauling said. "They broke containment after your last mission…"
"Yeah, yeah!" Scout said. "We got that in the file you sent us." Miss Pauling had a very confused look on her face.
"We didn't send any information on the Freaks." She walked over to the table where the papers lay. "What does it say?" Soldier began to explain the letter received from the Television Man, all the information, and the list of the Freaks, all the way up to the Spycrab attack. Miss Pauling tapped her chin, as if in deep thought.
"Do y'all have any idea who sent the files then," Engineer asked. "And why they used the Administrator's name?"
"It could be for…" Miss Pauling looked around, her eyes darting across the room. "A prank." Another knocking on the door occurred, but everyone was reluctant to answer it.
"Is that another Freak?" Scout asked. Miss Pauling gave a nervous nod.
"When the door opens," She said. "Heavy, I want you to run up and grab him, and be careful." Heavy nodded and walked to the edge of the door. "Spy, go and answer it." Spy shrugged his shoulders and reluctantly walked to the door.
"Bonjour?" He asked. Standing in the doorway was a RED Scout, although he was absolutely filthy and was wearing a Ghastly Guibus.
"You got anything for me, Spy?" The Scout asked, with a pitiable face. "Hats, accessories, or cash?"
"Now!" Miss Pauling shouted. Heavy yelled and grabbed the RED Scout by the collar of his shirt. He struggled in the Russian's grip, but with no avail. Miss Pauling walked up to the Scout and gave him a stern look.
"I figured you broke containment just to do your dirty pranks," She said. "Magic Mann." The Scout smirked, and snapped his fingers. In a burst of smoke, the Scout's appearance changed. He was wearing an elf's cap, an Egyptian Ankh, had pointed ears, and a wide grin.
"Got me all figured out, didn't ya, babe?" Magic Mann said.
"Little Scout is magic man?" Heavy asked.
"The Magic Mann, big guy." Magic Mann said.
"He's a Freak prankster." Miss Pauling said. "He disguises himself as a beggar, waiting for people to give him something. If someone does, he'd pull several mean pranks on the hapless victim either to death, exhaustion, or insanity. I still feel sorry about what happened to that one Demoman Freak…."
"Did the magic come from Merasmus?" Soldier asked.
"No, your old roommate wasn't involved."
"Hey, he gave me a beret! That deserves punishment!" Magic Mann grunted. Soldier ran up and smacked the Elf Freak with his shovel.
"And what's so wrong with berets, Freak?" Soldier growled. "I was in the Green Berets!"
"I though all of the American militia rejected you." Spy snidely added. Soldier growled again, before walking away. Miss Pauling pulled out some handcuffs and put them on Magic Mann.
"These cuffs will restrict your magic," Miss Pauling said. "So you can't teleport out of here." Heavy let go of Magic Mann, the latter being taken into custody by Miss Pauling.
"Hey, if you're gonna be all touchy on me, let me buy ya dinner first!" Magic Mann joked.
"The only place you're going is back to containment." Miss Pauling said, carting the Freak out of the room. "Good luck on your next mission, tomorrow!" As the doors slammed, all the mercenaries looked at each other. If any of the other Freaks they'd fight were anything like Painis Cupcake, Magic Mann, or the Spycrabs, what would the much more dangerous Freaks be like?
Freak-Saurus
Spycrab
Spycrabs are a Freak species, created as a Team Fortress community add-on. Spycrabs are Spies of varying colors, standing in a crouched position with their arms above their head in a crab-like position, disguise kits in hand. They're a migratory species, constantly traveling across the maps. Spycrabs are a primarily passive species, but will resort to violence if provoked.
Magic Mann
Magic Mann is an insane RED Elf Scout, created by Youtuber OluapPlayer. He has unbelievable magical abilities that can be used to benefit himself or harm others. Magic Mann takes on the disguise of a dirty, homeless RED Scout in order to lure in victims. If a person nearby helps him, Magic Mann will reveal himself and begin playing pranks on his benefactor: Ranging from faking out rewards to downright harming them. Magic Mann is incredibly fearless, but that can lead to his downfall. Another fault is that he never kills his victims, but only tortures them.
