Dustbowl, First Stage

After that whole fiasco with the cutouts, or MeeM as they were called, RED Team was going to do its best to win the mission, Freak or no. Everything was set in place. Demoman rigged the door with sticky bombs, Heavy and Medic were planted in the canyon for any of the BLUs to try and gun it, Sniper was hiding on the cliff edge, not taking his eyes off the door for a second, Pyro sat in the old shed, camping out until he… she… it could roast things, Soldier was on the shed directly above, providing backup for Spy, Scout was goofing around with his baseball, and Engineer was saddled in the back next to a Level-3 Sentry and Dispenser. This plan would not fail.

"Mission begins in thirty seconds." The Administrator's voice echoed throughout the canyon.

"Once those doors open," Spy said. "It'll be hell on Earth. Good luck, Soldier."

"Understood. Those maggots won't know what hit them." Soldier said, loading his rocket launcher, a newly received Direct Hit from Mann Co.

"Mission begins in twenty seconds." The clock was ticking.

"There can be only one!" Demoman shouted, swinging his Eyelander in the air. Within the BLU spawn location, the teams were prepped for battle.

"Mission begins in ten seconds."

"I'm fully charged!" Both teams Medics shouted.

"Five… four… three… two…"

"Hit charge!" Heavy said. Medic flipped a switch on his Medigun, which created a bright red glow around him and Heavy. Their bodies hardened like diamond, changing to a solid red color and their eyes glowed a bright yellow.

"One!" Sirens wailed as the doors open and the onslaught of battle began. The BLU Heavy and Medic weren't fast enough to activate their Ubercharge, and they were blown to smithereens by the Soldier. A BLU Spy snuck behind Soldier, but his head was blown clean off his shoulders. Soldier turned and gave Sniper a thumbs up, and the latter waving in return. Pyro was madly chasing a BLU Scout around, firing wildly with his Flaregun trying to his the fast little guy. Heavy charged headfirst into a frightened BLU Pyro, knocking his fire axe out of the way and using his fists to cave his skull in. After Heavy bashed the Pyro's head to bits, he saw that a BLU Soldier and Demoman run inside the capture point.

"The Eagle and the Drunk have landed!" He signaled. Just as Demoman took the head off a BLU Engineer, he reached for his sticky-bomb launcher and hit the detonator.

"Ka-BOOM!" Demoman roared, accompanying the following explosion. The room was filled with a burst of fire, and the luckless BLUs trapped within were reduced to nothing but a pile of limbs and meat. "They're gonna have to glue you back together, IN HELL!" The battle was going very well, in REDs favor. The mercs had a huge advantage, and the BLUs were unable to fight back. That is until….

"Alert! A Freak has entered the fray." The Administrator said through the speakers.

"Aw, damn it!" Scout shouted. "Not now!" Sniper looked through his lens to scan for any abnormal looking mercenaries, but saw nothing.

"HI!" Shouted a Russian voice. Sniper almost leaped out of his socks when Heavy startled him. He turned to browbeat him, but noticed something was off about this Heavy Weapons Guy. He was RED, but his limbs were slightly outstretched and were very slender, as if all the fat and muscle was removed. His face bore a weird smirk, accompanied by a small cigarette in his mouth and a pair of Summer Shades on his head.

"Are you the bloody Freak?" Sniper asked. The Heavy leaned forward and let out a strange laugh.

"I am Stu Pidface!" He said. "And my fists!" The Heavy brought up his fists level to Sniper's face. "They are made of flesh!" Sniper raised an eyebrow, confused that they would create a Freak like this. He turned and gave a signal to the other REDs.

"I found the Freak!" He shouted. "He looks harmless."

"So did Painis Cupcake!" Scout shouted. "Shoot him in the moneymaker!" Sniper shrugged his shoulders and raised his kukiri above his head ready to strike.

"NO!" Stu said. Sniper brought the blade down on his head, but instead he was giving him a slap to the face with a hunk of bologna. Sniper looked at the bologna in his hand, confused on how it got there and where his kukiri went. "BOLOGNA! It is tasty!" Stu grabbed the meat from Sniper's hand and stuffed it down his throat in one go.

"Erm… Piss." Sniper said. He leaped of his cliff edge when he noticed the BLUs mobilizing. He turned to Stu, and figured he'd leave him alone. He definitely was harmless, even if able to screw the laws of physics and reality. He sat next to Scout and Soldier, hiding behind the control point building.

"How's the new Freak?" Scout asked.

"I'd say a bit wonky." Sniper whispered. "Turned my blade into meat and ate it."

"But was he menacing?" Soldier whispered. "Did he try killing you and stuff your head up your ass?"

"Naw, mate. He just seemed… friendly."

"I like to whisper too." Stu said. Sniper, Scout, Soldier jumped as they noticed Stu Pidface sitting above them on the wall. Not only on the wall, but flat against it as if it were the floor.

"That Freak just gave me a heart attack!" Scout shrieked. Stu only waved and sipped a martini glass which spontaneously appeared in his hand. Soldier leaned onto the door and could hear the BLUs mobilizing in the room. The control point activated and began to transition from a RED Point to a BLU one.

"Alert, the enemy is capturing our control point." The Administrator announced. Soldier peeped his head in the room and saw a BLU Scout, Pyro, and Spy huddled in the room, standing atop the control point. He took his head out and looked at Stu Pidface, who was still sitting on the wall and staring at a penguin doll. A smile spread across Soldier's face, and he turned to face his comrades in arms.

"Boys, I've got a plan, since this Freak seems to like us." Soldier said.

"How do we get the lard fat…?" Scout began before remembering how Stu looked like skin and bones. "I mean bone bag…."

"He said his name was Stu Pidface." Sniper said. "And I don't know how to get him in there." Time was running out, so Scout shouted one thing that came to his mind.

"Sandwich in the control point!" Scout shouted. Stu's face widened to an even bigger smile, dropping the cigarette he was smoking.

"SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANDVICH!" Stu shouted. He leaped off the wall, fell onto his face, and slid on his stomach into the room. What happened inside is as follows:

The BLUs are confused about Stu Pidface. The BLU Scout tossed a baseball into Stu's mouth, which turned into a potato and was eaten. Stu's mouth turned into a minigun head and shot out French fries which shredded the Scout to bits. Onto the BLU Spy, Stu merely slapped his butt and called him a 'baby spy princess'. Before the BLU Spy could deliver one of his trademark insults, Stu jammed several Ullapool Cabers into his mouth, proclaiming 'Mentlegen'. The BLU Spy sat ever still so not to trigger the explosive batons in his mouth, but the BLU Pyro was the only remaining victim of the Heavy Freak's reality bending attacks. For this, Stu turned around, bent forward, stood near the Pyro's flamethrower, and an explosion resulted later. After the smoke cleared, the REDs looked in and saw Stu Pidface happily eating his sandwich.

"And that, boys," Soldier said, with a smirk. "Is how to clear a room in style." Sniper began applauding Soldier, while Scout only looked at him in shock.

"That plan was genius!" Scout said, dumbstruck. "How did someone like you come up with it?!" Soldier stood in front of Scout, lifting up his helmet to give a full glare to him.

"Who's the idiot now, private?" Soldier let out a hardy laugh. "As I am clearly the better strategy-person, you shall promote me to team mother, and Lord High Raggamuffin." Sniper stopped clapping and gave an irritated look to Soldier.

"Not push your luck, mate." Sniper glared. "We've still got a mission to complete."

"Yeah, let's waste 'em!" Scout shouted, tossing a baseball in the air. Just as the three mercs got settled in, everyone was blown to bits by a stray bomb. Stu looked out and gasped at his friends dead.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Stu cried out to the heavens. He turned and saw the BLU Demoman, laughing and tossing a beer bottle in the air.

"When you meet the devil, tell him I'm coming for him next!" The BLU Scotsman shouted. That had to have been the worst move ever. The bright and joyful nature of Stu Pidface vanished, and he became angry. Very angry. Stu turned to the Demoman, and charged him. The poor sod could only look onward and scream.

Administrator's Security Room

All of the screens were abuzz with the images of the Dustbowl missions. The Administrator puffed a big cloud of smoke before putting out her cigarette just as the Heavy Freak attacked the BLU Demoman.

"Very interesting behavior." She said. "The Freak has decided to fully ally himself with those REDs that were killed by the BLU Demoman." Miss Pauling entered the room, carrying a large stack of paper into the room. She glanced at the computers, seeing Stu Pidface pummeling a BLU Demoman with… a control point.

"He looks furious." Miss Pauling said. "I thought Stu Pidface was just a happy-go-lucky nut bar."

"Even the most innocent of creatures become aggressive when startled." The Administrator said, lighting another cigarette. "But the fact that this Freak has allied himself with a team still stands. Several of the Freaks with his caliber of power don't care who they attack and ignore such trivial matters as…" She felt herself want to vomit at this last word. "Friendship…."

"Maybe this is a sign that we've good Freaks as well as bad. They could be used in the less lethal missions and some could be aid for the mercenaries."

"Off the battlefield, maybe." The Administrator got off her chair and examined a file tossed aside on a nearby table. "But during a mission, it is imperative that no team is to have a Freak on their side."

"But Stu Pidface chose to ally with the REDs," Miss Pauling interjected. "How do we fix that?" The Administrator grinned and activated a switch on the intercom.

"Send in Freak #2852010 to Dustbowl." A male voice replied with a prompt yes and the Administrator gave a mischievous glare at her assistant.

"You sent in him?! He's uncontrollable! We nearly lost fifty guards trying to contain him after the breach!" The Administrator only turned back to the computer, puffing a cloud of smoke. She connected her headset to the computers and proclaimed an announcement to RED and BLU.

"Another Freak has entered the fray."


Freak-Saurus

Stu Pidface

Stu Pidface is a RED Heavy Freak, created by Youtuber LEtheCreator. Stu takes the appearance of a deformed Heavy, being slimmer and his limbs slightly outstretched. He usually wears Summer Shades and occasionally smokes a cigarette. Stu Pidface, quite literally, has the ability to give the laws of physics and reality the middle finger. His abilities are limitless and almost without reason. His dialogue, which also accompanies his erratic attacks, is random and insane. Stu might be, in theory, the most powerful Freak in existence if his incompetence is ignored. Stu also has the ability to cheat death, granted how many timed he has died.