Chapter 72

Hotch took Sabastian and his 'family' down by the river knowing it would be deserted with it already being dark and cold. As they walked and talked, they explained to Hotch how they'd each been changed and Christian even told them a few stories from his and Sebastian's past. Once there was a lull in conversation, Willie looked at Hotch. "Alright, Aaron, I'm dying to see it."

Hotch stopped in his tracks as his eyes narrowed in suspicion. "See what exactly?"

Jenny laughed. "He's talking about your wolf form, Aaron."

"Oh," Hotch offered as his cheeks heated, and they all laughed.

"Seriously. Would you show us, please?" Willie pushed.

"Calm down, William, maybe Aaron doesn't feel comfortable doing that just yet," Sebastian offered as he looked at Hotch. Not knowing if Hotch had figured out how to do it, he was looking for a way to save him the embarrassment.

Hotch looked at the faces around him and he could tell they all wanted to see it. "I know how."

Christian chuckled. "Maybe he'd feel better about it if we did it first," he offered and then changed into his: a large gray and blonde wolf with darker points.

"Really, we're going to turn this into a game of show and tell?" Michael asked.

"Shut up and do it, Mike," Jenny ordered and then turned into hers: a red tinted, slim line wolf that looked more foxlike than wolflike in Hotch's eyes.

Willie chuckled in excitement and dropped into his form: a light wolf with a black nose that obviously still had some of its puppy features.

Sebastian looked at Michael and he sighed. "Oh, alright," he muttered and then dropped. His form was a perfect example of a timber wolf.

Sabastian smiled as he looked at the wolves around him and then took a step closer to Hotch. "Come on, Aaron. Let's have a private chat," he told him as he grabbed his elbow and then led him away from the others.

Once he thought they were far enough away, he took a deep breath. "You need to know, Aaron, that while in our wolf forms, we can all communicate telepathically."

Hotch studied him for a second and then looked toward the wolves. "They'll be able to read my mind?"

Sebastian chuckled. "No, but they will communicate with you, just like they were speaking. I just didn't want you to be surprised by it."

Hotch licked his lips. "How do I do that?"

Sebastian shrugged. "Just speak in your mind, we'll hear it." He leaned in a little bit closer. "But you need to realize that all those thoughts that are normally privately internal, won't be."

Hotch ran his fingers over his lips and whispered, "So if I'm thinking something along the lines of 'that Sebastian guy really annoys the hell out of me' you'll hear it?"

Sebastian laughed. "Exactly."

Hotch nodded. "Good to know, thank you."

Sebastian put a gentle hand on his shoulder. "You don't have to do this, Aaron. I can sense you haven't shared this with anyone else."

Hotch huffed. "You must be slipping because I have shared this with Kahlan."

Sebastian's brows rose and he smiled. "Of course you have, but this isn't like you are putting yourself on display, you're just joining us."

"I know." He sighed.

"But you're afraid that the others will be jealous?"

Hotch winced. "You're the one who told me to keep my abilities hidden from others. Isn't showing them my wolf form putting that on display?"

Sebastian smiled again. "But we already know how powerful you are, Aaron. You have nothing to worry about from us, I promise you."

Hotch considered his words for a moment and then nodded. "Alright."

"Then come on," Sebastian ordered and dropped into his form.

Hotch studied him for a second and then chuckled, but then he winced and shook his head. Stop it, Hotchner! They'll hear you. He ran a hand down his face and then changed.

Hotch's ears wilted as he walked towards them. Even in their wolf forms, he could tell they were staring wild-eyed and his mouth suddenly went dry.

Willie looked back and forth between Hotch and all the other men. I knew it! You're huge!

You are the biggest wolf I have ever seen, real or transformed, Jenny told him.

Hotch looked at her. Thank you, I think, or. . . shit, am I doing this right?

Michael snorted and then looked away and his chest vibrated with unheard laughter.

Yes, Aaron. We can hear you loud and clear, Christian told him.

Hotch frowned. I thought my own voice would somehow sound different or something.

Sebastian sighed and then looked around him. Are you all done gawking, or should we stand here looking like a bunch of dogs some more?

Dogs? Michael asked. We're wolves, and we're a pack. I say we run.

Christian's nose lifted to the air and he sniffed the wind. I say we hunt.

Hotch's head snapped to him. Hunt?

Jenny stepped forward. You can feed in either form, Aaron.

And the feeling of running, the hunt, the chase. . . it's invigorating, Michael told him and Willie quickly agreed.

And the kill? Hotch thought and then looked away from them. Sorry, I didn't mean. . .

Yes, Aaron, the kill. Hunting like this actually gives us the chance to feed that need which helps some of us refrain from hunting humans, Christian explained. We are hunters by nature.

I don't take part in the kill, though, so if you don't want to it'd be alright, Willie quickly put in. But I do like the run and the chase.

Hotch looked around at them all.

Jenny frowned as she studied Hotch. You've never wanted to hunt humans, have you?

Hotch licked his lips and then mentally cringed thinking that the motion might have been interpreted as something else. I did in the beginning, he confessed.

The initial hunger doesn't count, Michael put in. Have you had the urge to hunt humans after that first week?

Suddenly, Sebastian changed back into his human form. "Go. We'll catch up," he instructed as he gestured towards the trees.

Knowing that he wanted to talk to him, Hotch changed back, too.

Willie looked at them, but then Christian took a step and then they all took off running. Hotch sighed. "You can go, Sabastian. You don't need to babysit me."

"I know that, but we haven't really had the time to discuss how you've been handling everything and I thought we could do that now."

Hotch rubbed the back of his neck. "I've been doing pretty well, considering."

"Have you had the urge to hunt humans, Aaron?"

Hotch's head snapped to him. "No!" He drooped. "I didn't mean for that to sound so. . ."

"Condescending?"

He sighed. "Yes, and I'm sorry."

"You haven't even had a tiny bit of an urge, and I'm not suggesting that you would ever act on that urge, I just want to know."

Hotch turned to look towards the river. "There have been times blood has made me want to feed, sometimes so badly that I changed and couldn't change back," he confessed weakly. "And it's even happened right after I have fed, so I know it wasn't because I was hungry." He shrugged. "I haven't learned how to control that yet."

Sebastian sighed and placed a hand on Hotch's back. "But that's the blood and it even still does that to me and Christian sometimes, so you shouldn't be ashamed about that, Aaron, but that's not what I asked you."

Hotch took a deep breath and turned to face him. "Then I don't know what you mean."

The detective studied him, and after a few moments, he licked his lips. "Like when you're out walking and someone's heartbeat gets your attention. Has that ever made you want to hunt them and feed on them?"

Hotch's brows knitted as he thought about it and then shook his head. "No, other than that first day before you finished the changing process."

The shock was evident in the old vampire's eyes. "Not even once, not even just a slight urge that you tamped down instantly."

"No." He cringed. "And that's not normal either, is it?"

Bartles huffed. "I've never met any vampire, my family and friends included, who has never wanted to hunt. Even Willie, with as strong as his feeling are against harming any living thing, has the urge to hunt humans. He never would, of course, but sometimes he has a hard time fighting it."

Hotch looked towards the trees the wolves had disappeared into. "Did Michael and Jenny kill humans in the beginning?"

"Yes. It normally takes a while to learn to fight it." He swallowed. "Jennifer has even gone back to it a time or two."

Hotch ran a hand down his face. "And these hunts, these wolf hunts, what are they hunting?"

"Ah," the detective offered as he appraised him. "You're worried they might be hunting a human?"

"I could see where someone might have themselves convinced that killing a human while in the form of a wolf isn't murder."

Sebastian sighed. "I've never hunted a human while in wolf form and they never have while with me or that I've heard of, but I honestly couldn't say whether they have done it on their own at another time or not." He took a deep breath and walked down to the shore of the river. "What the wolf hunts do for me, what Christian was trying to explain to you, is that it allows us to use those hunting instincts that are within us. Killing something that way whether it be a deer or a squirrel, helps keep that hunting instinct sated so it isn't so hard to fight in everyday life." He gave Hotch a small grin. "You never know, you may actually enjoy it."

Hotch sighed. "That's what I'm afraid of."

"What do you mean?"

"What if it wakes those instincts up? My vampire didn't even come to the surface until Kahlan forced it out by cutting herself. What if I do this, and I like it, and it makes those instincts come out in me where I want to hunt humans? I couldn't live with myself it I hurt an innocent," he told him and the seriousness in his tone and in his eyes wasn't missed.

Sebastian sighed and then shrugged. "I don't know, Aaron. I wish I had an answer for you. You have been the first one I have changed that I haven't been able to help, and I'm sorry." He turned to him and put a hand on his shoulder. "But I can offer you my opinion."

Hotch nodded.

"I don't think you need to be worried about that." Hotch went to say something, but Sebastian cut back in. "With the control and power you have, even if those instincts wake up, you will be able to control them."

Hotch ran a hand along his jaw as he considered his words.

"But you are welcome to join us just for the run. It really is something special." He smiled. "It's a feeling of freedom like you've never experienced before, I promise you."

"I guess I can try it, but if you all start howling at the moon, I'm out of here."

Sebastian laughed. "Come on," he told him and then changed back into his wolf form.

Hotch took a deep breath and did the same, and then Sebastian took off running and Hotch took off after him. He had to immediately pull himself back, though, to keep from running the ancient vampire over and instead got in beside him. Do you know where they are?

I can sense them, can you not hear them?

Hotch's ears twitched as his eyes roamed the forest ahead of him. I can smell them, I think.

Sebastian's eyes cut to him and then went even faster to try and catch up with the rest of them, and Hotch kept easy pace with him.

Hotch wasn't even paying attention to where they were going. He was lost in the steady rhythm of his heart, the feel of the ground beneath his paws, the wind in his ears, the harsh but not labored breaths escaping his nose, and he had to admit it; he did feel free, more free than he'd ever felt. This could get addicting.

Yes, it is, Sebastian agreed.

Hotch almost startled at the man's voice in his head. He was so lost in the run that he'd forgotten that he wasn't alone.