Wrapped up in his embrace Lan Fan froze. Shu's arm around her waist, hand on the back of her head. His lips were warm, softer than they looked. He was gentle with her but deliberate in his affection. Whatever this moment was she was lost in it. As far as she could discern it was a good kiss. In fact it was her first kiss and he'd stolen it. Once a thief always a thief. The kiss ended with her completely flustered for the first time in she didn't know how long. No one had held her with like this since Ling by the fire in the desert. It felt like a betrayal. Ripping free of his hold Lan Fan fled the warmth and cacophony of the nightclub. Storm clouds swept across the sky obscuring the moonlight. The frigid wind tore through her silk dress. She'd left a glove and her jacket at the table, but she'd take the cold over doubling back for her belongings.

With hurried steps she walked without a destination in mind. She didn't want to return to the palace nor did she care to return home. More than anything she wanted to be small again. To return to the time when her only worries were training and keeping the young lord out of trouble. She had enough troubles without the burden of Shu's feelings. Behind her Shu called her name. Lan Fan refused to slow her steps. She didn't want to speak to Shu let alone look at him. When he caught her by the elbow her anger blossomed into fury. She turned and struck him across the face with her automail hand. The harshness of her slap was dampened slightly by her glove as well as her control but it still staggered the man.

"I suppose I had that coming," he laughed dryly. Shu worked his jaw for a moment and swore under his breath. She started to storm off again when he stepped in her path. "Lan Fan, stop. Just wait a second!"

Despite the strong urge to knock him to the ground Lan Fan halted. Drops of rain began to patter the ground. Shu slid his hands into his pockets and took a step back as he weighed his words. For a moment he looked at the ground between them before lifting his head. "I'm not going to apologize."

Lan Fan tried to interject but he held up a hand to silence her.

"I'm not finished. I'm not going to apologize for kissing you. I'm not sorry. I'm done keeping my feelings for you to myself. I'm not a fool. I know protecting Ling will always be most important to you. I won't ever ask you to give more than you're willing. You've given up more than enough pieces of yourself." Thunder rumbled overhead while the rain became steady. Lan Fan wondered how many times over the years she'd dismissed his lingering looks. Assumed the brush of his fingertips against her skin was accidental. He'd kept her handkerchief for years until he'd returned it wrapped around the best kunai she'd ever owned. Knives he'd made to keep her safe. Shu understood her far better than most.

I'm such a fool.

She thought of telling him there wasn't anything left of herself to give. All her passion she'd poured into protecting her lord. Every desire cast aside for those of her master. An arm was nothing. Without hesitation she'd cut the heart from her chest if the emperor wished it. Every part of her belonged to him. Ling Yao was her northern star. She'd be lost in the dark without him. Ling was far beyond her reach while Shu stood in the rain offering his own heart. Waiting for her to say something in return. His cheek was beginning to bruise from her blow. I shouldn't have hit him so hard.

Lightning illuminated the dark night; the accompanying thunder startled them both.

"What you're proposing…" she faltered. What was he proposing? An affair? A proper courtship? Whatever it was it was just another distraction from her responsibilities. She'd already been far too distracted of late.

"Don't you think it's a bit soon for a proposal?" he teased with that familiar, rakish smile.

"Be serious!" Lan Fan insisted. They were drenched by now. She shivered miserably. On top of being cold and wet her shoulder ached incessantly.

"When it comes to you I'm entirely serious. We could have something, you and I. Don't take me lightly." Removing his coat he wrapped it around her shoulders again. It was warm and the lining dry. "You're freezing. Let me walk you back. Or home. Where ever you want to go, Lan Fan."

She let him walk her home to her stepfather's estate. It was closer than the palace. Shu kept a respectful distance for which she was grateful. When they arrived at the gate he told her to return the coat later and waited until she was inside to leave. Lan Fan didn't have her key to the house. Dripping on the doorstep she debated whether to knock or find an unlocked window. With a resigned sigh she rapped on the door. Having expected a servant she was surprised when her stepfather answered the door.

"Lan, what are you doing out in this storm?" Liwei ushered her inside. The house was warm. Though it was late he was still dressed. He was often the last one to bed in the Zhang household. "Go change out of those wet clothes. I'll make tea."

Save for the rain on the roof the house was quiet. Lan Fan stepped out of her sopping shoes and went straight to her room. She traded her cheongsam for a pair of soft black pants and a dark blue shirt with frog clasps. Making her way to the kitchen she ran her fingers through her rain-tangled hair. Her shoulder still ached from the weather and her automail needed attention. The kitchen was empty but she found her stepfather waiting in the parlor for her with tea. On the seat next to him was one of her mother's handmade quilts. Lan Fan bundled the blanket around her and sat next to him. Liwei poured a cup of tea, oolong by the aroma, and passed it to her. As she sipped it he placed his wrist against her forehead to gage her temperature.

"I'm fine," she mumbled avoiding eye contact.

Liwei poured another cup for himself. For a while they sat in silence. The sound of rain and warmth of tea were soothing. She glanced at him sidelong. There was more silver than black in his hair these days. The lines around his eyes and mouth more pronounced. She wondered what cares her face would show at that age. If she lived so long. Lan Fan worried her lip between her teeth. Did she still call him stepfather? Did he think of her as a proper daughter? He had the answers to the questions she was so afraid to ask.

"Did you ever meet my father?" Lan Fan asked. Lord Zhang was still a moment before setting his tea cup aside. He turned in his seat to give her his full attention. Feng Liu was a subject Lan Fan never brought up. Not with him nor anyone else. Not even her own mother.

"Feng was one of Lady Xue's personal guards before Prince Ling was born. He often accompanied her to the capital for court functions. I never met him formally. What I know of him I Iearnt from Suyin."

"You wanted to adopt me from the start. I overheard mother and grandfather arguing about it. Why?"

For a moment Liwei was far away. He stared at the rain streaked window as he contemplated his words.

"Not from the start. Suyin accepted my proposal of marriage on the condition that I adopt you. She needed assurance that you'd never be viewed as less than any other children we might have. I agreed because I wanted Suyin. You were the spitting image of your mother, but you were as different as night and day. I'd never met a more severe child. We had so little of you in our lives. When you were with us you were always frowning. It was a struggle to love you. Fu put his foot down about the adoption and I thought that was that."

Liwei's words cut deeper then she wanted to admit. The hurt unexpected. She'd spent so much time not wanting to be a Zhang that she hadn't imagined he hadn't wanted her. Lan Fan stared at him and bit her cheek hard. "But you did adopt me."

Tension wired it's way into his posture.

"How long have you known?"

"Not long enough." No point in ratting out Xiang now. "Grandfather didn't change his mind easily. The matter was settled so how…?"

"It wasn't something that came about suddenly. I found myself missing your frowning face between visits. When I came to know you it was impossible not to love you. It was unfathomably hard letting you grow up with another clan. Fu wrote to us of your progress. I was in awe of how determined such a young girl could be. I never wanted to take your father's place in your heart, but you were as much my child as Xiang. The night of Prince Junjie's party was the first time I could introduce you as my daughter. It was one of the proudest nights of my life."

"But why wasn't I told? How could you hide the truth for so long?"

"Fu asked that we delay telling you. I can't know for sure but I believe he intended to tell you once you'd returned from your journey."

"That still doesn't explain how you changed his mind. I was already pledged in service to the Yao clan. If anyone learned the truth I could've been exiled!"

"Lan Fan, you were a Liu the day you swore your oath of fielty. It wasn't by chance that we waited. I was the one who convinced your grandfather. Regardless of my marriage to your mother you weren't of noble birth. It complicated the matter of inheritance. You didn't have equal standing with your brother. Besides we could see you were fiercely devoted to Prince Ling. It would've been devastating for you to fall for someone above your station. I never imagined he'd become emperor..."

The color drained from her face. Had she been that obvious for so long?

"You returned from the west having accomplished so much. The emperor made you commander of the guard for which we were so proud. We had you in our lives properly after so long. Suyin was afraid telling you would only drive you away. Don't think ill of her. Your mother wishes only for your happiness."

Lan Fan heard the sliding of the study door and turned her head. In the doorway Suyin stood looking concerned.

"I heard raised voices. What's wrong? Lan Fan, you're pale as snow." Suyin hurried to her daughter, kneeling and cupping Lan Fan's face. The worry on her mother's features stayed her tongue. "Is your arm troubling you?"

"I got caught in the storm. Only a little," Lan Fan answered.

"You're chilled to the bone. Come let's draw you a bath."

"Suyin-" Liwei began and met Lan Fan's eyes. He looked afraid of what she might say or do next.

"A bath would be nice…"

Suyin guided her daughter from the room to the bath. While the large tub filled with steaming water Lan Fan undressed. To her surprise Lan Fan accepted Suyin's offer to wash her hair. Sitting with her knees drawn up to her chest she closed her eyes. Suyin's hands were gentle and she was careful not to get suds in Lan Fan's eyes when she rinsed the shampoo out. Lan Fan finished washing up on her own. When she climbed into the bath her mother sat on the edge. The ache in her shoulder was deep. She rolled it a few times to no relief. When Suyin placed one hand on the edge of her port Lan Fan looked up at her.

"It's been so long since you were examined by an automail doctor. I worry something's wrong. Perhaps you've outgrown this one? You were so young when you got it…"

An objection was on the tip of her tongue when Madeleine came to mind. If she could get Margot Fontaine to come to Xing certainly Madeleine would insist on joining her. Lan Fan missed them terribly. Besides if there was anyone she could confide in it was Maddy. In her head she ran over the cost of travel, potential replacement parts, lodging, and the matter of travel visas. A great expense but well worth it. Infrastructure between Amestris and Xing had improved since the trade agreements. They could take the train across the desert.

"Perhaps you're right. It's been too long… I could write to my engineer. See if she's willing to make the trip to Xing."

"Tell this lady engineer of yours to name her price. We will cover the cost."

"What? No, mother, I don't need you to do that," she protested.

"Let me anyway?"

Lan Fan could argue the point further, but in the heat of the bath all her fight was seeped away. She was tired and couldn't bring herself to have one more heated discussion tonight. Already she had enough to think on with Shu and Liwei's words heavy on her mind. Suyin was always trying so hard and it was exhausting.

"Thank you."

"Do you want breakfast in the morning or will you be gone early?"

"I have to be back to the palace before dawn."

"Don't be up too late then."

Suyin pressed a kiss to her temple before leaving.

Steam hovered in the air. Lan Fan sank deeper in the bath and brought her fingertips to her lips. The kiss weighed on her mind along with her stepfather's words. He'd gotten it all wrong. Couldn't he see that no matter what her title, even if the prince hadn't become emperor, she'd still be an unsuitable match for Ling Yao? Unworthy no matter what words the prince had whispered under the cover of night. Lan Fan Zhang still belonged in the shadows.

True to her word Lan Fan rose an hour before dawn. She dressed in one of her spare uniforms, but she'd need to collect her armor at the palace before reporting for duty. Before any of that there was one person she needed to see. Silent as ever she slipped into her little brothers room. A beam of light fell across the bed from the cracked door, but Xiang didn't wake. Only the top of his head was visible from under the blankets. Lan Fan crouched next to his bed, taking the time to observe her sleeping brother; breaths coming slow and deep, long eyelashes fluttering from dreams. She hated to wake him. He looked so peaceful. Being gentle she swept his messy hair from his eyes. Lan Fan pulled her hand away as he stirred.

"Wake up little brother."

Xiang squeezed his eyes tightly shut and mumbled a protest. He'd never been much of a morning person.

"Xiang," she said a bit louder and his eyes blinked open.

"Lan Fan?" Xiang rubbed his eyes and then snapped them open in realization. "You're home."

"I can't stay. I'm sorry for the other day. You were right."

"About what?"

"We're the same blood." Lan Fan clasped his hand and looked intently into his eyes. "You were looking out for me. I won't forget that."

The near suffocating hug Xiang pulled her into was unexpected, but she returned it all the same.