"I know more than you could possibly imagine," Shu whispered. The implications set her heart racing nearly as much as his propinquity. He pulled back enough to look at her. "I hold as much power over you as him. Do you know the difference between us?"
Thoughts whirling she found herself unable to summon a response. How many more of her secrets did he have up his sleeve like an ace? What would he do with them if provoked? The wind picked up and made a hollow sound; moonlight broke through the clouds. She could see his face once more. Anger smoldered in his eyes.
"I've never chosen to wield it."
Shu raised his hand to touch her cheek. His fingertips barely made contact before Ling Yao seized his wrist in a merciless hold. The two of them were so embroiled in their vehement discourse neither had seen nor sensed his approach. How much of our conversation did he hear? What more does he suspect? Malice flashed across Ling's face. He threw Shu up against the wall, holding him there with his arm across his throat. He cut a sharp look at Lan Fan and she couldn't breathe. Dismay washed over her like waves breaking upon a shore. Ling directed his gaze back to the man he held pinned.
"Something you need, my liege? I was just having a word with the commander." The constriction of Shu's airway gave his voice a breathy quality. A wolfish smile played across his mouth. Either he didn't realize the severity of Ling's present disposition, or worse, he didn't care.
"My lord-" Lan Fan found her voice only to be immediately cut off.
"I do believe you've been making advances on Lan Fan all evening. Unwanted advances by the look of it," Ling seethed.
"We both know that if I'd done anything untoward she'd already have cut my throat." Raising a brow in amusement Shu let out a dry laugh. "Do you mind? You're wrinkling my shirt."
"How long has this been going on?" Ling demanded.
"If you were any other man I'd tell you it's none of your fucking business," Shu responded. "But seeing as how you're emperor it's none of your damn business, Imperial Majesty."
Ling Yao threw him and it was no small pleasure to him when Shu landed face down in the snow. Wiping slush from his eyes Shu got back on his feet only to be abruptly punched in the mouth. He careened from the blow, blood spattering from his split lip. Shu straightened, no longer affecting an air of amusement. Anticipating a fight Lan Fan stepped forward to intervene.
"Do not speak to the emperor with such disrespect," she warned. Shu seemed undaunted by her words. Adrenaline coursed through Lan Fan like poison. In her peripheral vision she saw Qiyin emerge out of the shadows, his hand already resting on the hilt of his sword. She'd chosen her second in command well. She had to stave off further confrontation at any cost. If Shu assaulted the emperor he'd end up maimed or dead.
"Did you think she belonged to you?" Shu's tongue darted out to lick the blood from his lip. "That if you kept her in the shadows no one else would see her? No one else would want her?"
"That's enough!" Lan Fan insisted with a wavering voice she hardly recognized as her own. They finally looked at her and she felt she might shatter. Silence descended over them as the wind died down. Ling's face was a mask of anger and hurt. Meanwhile, Shu looked more bitter than she'd ever seen him. Unable to bare looking at them a moment more she bowed. If Qiyin was merciful he would strike her head clean off. She deserved nothing less for the anguish she'd caused with her omissions and indecision. "Please, I do not wish to be a point of contention between you."
"I'm afraid on this matter we are firmly at odds," said Ling. "Get out of my sight."
Lan Fan felt her heart seize in panic and she jerked her head up. However, it was not her but Shu the emperor addressed. Shu glanced at Lan Fan once more, giving her a look that spoke volumes, before taking his leave of them. An eternity passed it seemed before Ling looked at her. He seemed to be struggling to hold his temper in check.
"When did you start keeping things from me?" he ask in a low voice. When she'd arrived at dinner he'd looked like she was something wondrous and beautiful. She wished she could go back and preserve the moment. Encase it like a blossom in resin. Now he regarded her with discontent. She felt like something wretched. Lan Fan lowered her eyes to the ground, wishing for her mask, certain her shame was written all over her face.
"I didn't want to burden you with my troubles. You have far greater concerns," she answered. Lan Fan hadn't had the courage to tell him about her parentage nor Shu's fledgeling courtship. Even now she still didn't know how she felt about it all. All her life she'd walked the same path. Now it branched before her and she didn't know the way.
"After everything we've been through how can you possibly believe your troubles are beneath me?" He'd never been so infuriated with her. Stepping closer he took Lan Fan by the shoulders and shook her. "Look at me!"
Lan Fan raised her head.
"What's he holding over you?"
Lan Fan parted her lips to answer then glanced at Qiyin. While she trusted her fellow guard to keep silent about anything he heard in the emperor's company she'd never chosen to divulge her own personal matters. Ling caught on to her hesitation.
"In private then," he relented, dismissing Qiyin with a wave of his hand. Trusting the emperor's safety to Lan Fan, Qiyin bowed and set about patrolling the garden out of earshot. Ling noticed her shivering and scowled.
"You'll catch your death in this weather."
The sheer stockings she wore did nothing to warm her legs. Without a hat or scarf her nose and ears were already numb and her shoulder ached ceasely from the cold. Her lack of consideration for the weather seemed to worsen his mood if possible. There was no end to his displeasure. Expecting her to follow he departed the garden for the warmth of the indoors. Once they were shut inside his study Ling took his coat off and threw it fitfully to the floor. Lan Fan considered leaving her own on. By now she was entirely self conscience about her attire. But the wool was sweltering. She removed her coat and carefully to lay it over the arm of a chair.
"Well?" Ling snapped. Not sure where to begin she lowered her eyes to her feet. The gold heels Madeleine had loaned her were damp from traipsing through the snow. She thought of the day they went through the ice. How cold she'd been with her boots soaked through, desperately trying to stay awake before a dying fire.
"Do you remember when my mother came to the Yao Estate? After the incident at the lake?"
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"Do you remember?"
"How could I forgot? Your mother has loathed me ever since," he scoffed. Lan Fan let the remark slide. It was no good arguing on Suyin's behalf at the moment. It was beside the point.
"She came to take me away to the capital to live with her and my stepfather. I was supposed to be adopted into the Zhang clan. You said yourself a Zhang could never… If I'd gone with my mother I would've lost any chance to serve the Yao clan. I chose to stay with my grandfather and become your guard." Ling, his arms crossed over his chest, listened with an intense expression. When he didn't speak she continued. "A few weeks ago my brother and I were arguing. He was upset and let it slip that my stepfather adopted me with Fu's consent."
Whatever Ling had expected her to tell him it clearly hadn't been that. A look of befuddled surprise replaced the anger on his face. He opened his mouth to speak then closed it again. The corners of his mouth pulled down into a frown.
"That doesn't make sense. Why would Fu allow such a thing?"
Lan Fan's mouth went dry. If Liwei and Suyin had guessed her feelings for the prince Fu must have known. She licked her lips in a nervous gesture.
"Liwei wished to see me taken care of in the event of his passing. He did the convincing. Before we left Xing grandfather signed the papers. Whatever the reason he didn't want me to know."
"But Shu knew about this?"
Lan Fan nodded.
"He's known for years and never told anyone. Not even me. I was the one to approach him."
"Why would he keep that a secret for so long?"
"Out of loyalty."
"He's loyal to one of us at least. You used to confide in me. Now you push me away and you turn to him. Behind my back the two of you-!"
The emperor cut himself off looking away with a grimace.
"My lord, please, you misunderstand. Shu and I-" she tried to explain to no avail.
"Did I have it wrong this whole time? Are you only by my side because of a childhood promise? Shall I release you from it?" Ling threatened. If his aim was to hurt her he succeeded. Lan Fan's composure fractured at his words. She blinked rapidly, trying to hold back tears. One trailed down her cheek and she hastily brushed it away. The fingers of her glove came away stained with makeup. Desperate not to be banished from Ling's service Lan Fan prostrated herself before him. The beading on her dress clinked softly as she pressed hands and forehead flush against the mat.
"No, your highness. Please I beg you to reconsider."
"Believe me I have much to consider, Lady Zhang."
Lan Fan was left all alone as he swept from the room without a backward glance.
"Are you going to tell me what happened last night?" asked Margot. They'd arrived at her family's household before daybreak. For the sake of discretion it was decided that Lan Fan's maintenance would take place at home. Her mother welcomed them with a warm smile and offers of breakfast. The automail mechanic chose to subsist on coffee while Madeleine joined Suyin in the kitchen. Lan Fan didn't have the stomach for any of it. She said nothing as Margot uncoupled her automail. These days she hardly noticed the weight of it but it's absence was an odd sensation.
Margot tilted Lan Fan's chin up to get a good look at her. She frowned at her visage. Heaving a sigh she moved over to the makeshift workbench.
"You look like hell." Margot was never one to mince words. "If you're not going to talk then get some sleep."
Lan Fan laid down on her bed facing the wall. The night before she hadn't slept a wink. She didn't think she'd sleep now, but didn't have it in her to argue. At least Margot would allow her to be heartsick in silence. She placed her hand over the empty socket of her port and curled into a tight ball. Before long the comforting sound of Margot at work lulled her into sleep.
Ling cancelled all of his appointments for the day. While he could avoid his advisors as emperor he still had matters that required his attention. After the confrontation of the night before he wasn't eager to revisit his study. Instead, he secluded himself in his private rooms with enough work to keep him distracted. He sent his breakfast and lunch back to the kitchens untouched. That afternoon Wei brought the emperor's tea himself along with rice and a plate of jiaozi. He set the food unceremoniously on top of Ling's paperwork.
"You'll faint if you don't eat something," Wei said. Ling gave him a withering look. Wei ignored it as he poured the tea. After a moment Ling picked up his chopsticks and began to eat.
"Are you all right?" Ling paused with his bowl of rice in one hand and chopsticks in the other. Steam rose from the sticky substance. Across the table Wei looked concerned. "Whatever is troubling you-"
Ling set the bowl down with a clatter and saw Wei flinch in response.
"Keep your own counsel," he told him in no uncertain terms. The last thing he wanted was to discuss his troubles, especially not with one of Shu's cohorts. Never mind the fact Wei was just as much his friend as Shu's. Ling made a show of pushing aside the meal Wei brought and resumed his work. At Ling's dismissal Wei grew indignant. He held the tea tray over his chest and tapped one finger against the wood.
"As you wish. Will there be anything else?" Wei asked with a curt bow.
"No," answered Ling.
Wei departed without another word. He didn't need to say anything for Ling to sense his disapproval. After he'd gone Ling picked up the tea. A faint aroma of peaches rose from the cup. Wei had taken care to craft a simple yet comforting meal for him. He regretted his callousness, but he was too prideful to do anything about it.
It was the same with Lan Fan.
There was no doubt now about Shu's feelings for her. That he hadn't realized it before now was an embarrassment. Whatever their relationship Ling hadn't wanted to hear it. He'd shouted her down when she was so desperate to explain. Now he didn't know how to even begin repairing the damage he'd wrought.
Or if he could.
