Mann Co. Underground Tunnels
Many secret maintenance tunnels ran under the various Mann Co. complexes. From the many dustbowls and mining sites of RED and BLU, to the Shipping Facilities, to the Freak Holding Facilities, to even the Eye in the Sky itself. Spanning like a labyrinthine structure for miles throughout New Mexico's underground, it would be easy to get lost in these dimly lit metro structures. It was through the underground tunnels that Mann Co. Freak Handlers would transport Freaks to different Facilities, to even join the mercenaries in battle, via train carts equipped with dedicated sentries armed with stun sticks and sleeper darts. Two trains ran at the same time at this moment, both heading to the same location: Well.
A heavily armored train, plated in thick metal with guards constantly at arms, ran its way from Insanity, USA, escorting and watching dangerous cargo. Painis Cupcake and Intelligent Heavy sat in a somewhat luxurious train cart, with red painted walls and blue carpets. Intelligent Heavy sat quietly to himself, drinking a bottle of water, while Painis began practicing pushups and curl-ups, shotgun clicks emitting every time he made a movement. Right when they got on the train, Painis insisted he be prepared to take on the Bugler, working out to build up muscular strength to overpower the Vagineer. While Intelligent Heavy knew Painis was fully capable of defeating the Bugler, after all, he saved him and Spyper from him on his quest for vengeance, but he knew Painis would wear himself out if he continued to over-train. Being too meek to speak against the dangerous cannibal, Intelligent Heavy just sat in his seat, waiting for the train to arrive at Well, and worried of Painis' reaction to the Freak Polite Spy was bringing.
A second train, also equally armored, drove on the tracks from the Crazed Countryside, also transporting a pair of Freaks. Weaselcake and Polite Spy sat in a somewhat fancy dining cart, with Polite Spy merrily eating a sandwich at his booth. There had not been much in the way of conversation, as Weaselcake chose to mentally prepare himself for the conflict at hand, getting spiritually and physically in tune with his many abilities. Happy to leave his friend to his own machinations, Polite Spy just sat idly by, waiting eagerly to see who Miss Pauling said Intelligent Heavy was bringing.
The two trains pulled to a stop, side by side, at the cargo lift to the surface zone: Well. The guards marched up to the doors, and in mirroring sync, opened the carts and releasing the Freaks. Intelligent Heavy casually stepped out of his cart, nervously drumming his fingers. Painis slithered out of the cart, stretching his aching limbs from the vigorous exercises. On the adjacent cart, Polite Spy stepped out, a small grin etched on his face, as Weaselcake floated beside him, a serious expression replacing his cheerful face. However, when Weaselcake and Painis Cupcake saw each other, the reaction was... less than pretty.
"YOU!" The two dangerous Freaks shouted.
"Oh, no." The two helper Freaks muttered. Painis and Weaselcake came nose to nose with each other, glaring angrily into each other's eyes.
"What the hell are you doing here, mutant?" Painis snarled, his teeth grinding against each other.
"I should say the same, pastry." Weaselcake sneered, his elongated tongue slithering in his mouth. Intelligent Heavy knew that the two would not react well at first sight. Painis had a bad habit of attacking random people and Freaks with no provocation, before Polite Spy taught him self-control, and Weaselcake was one of those people. He beat Painis once, and the two have been at each other's throats ever since, even during Painis' vengeance quest. Even if they both had a hatred of the Bugler, how could such hated enemies work together?
Miss Pauling walked down the walkway, clutching a clipboard in her hand and refocusing her glasses. "Glad to see you two can make it, Painis Cupcake and Weaselcake." The quarreling Freaks turned towards Miss Pauling, an explosion destroying a nearby support when Weaselcake turned his head.
"You called us both here?" Weaselcake questioned. Miss Pauling nodded, Intelligent Heavy and Polite Spy flanking her sides.
"I assume Intelligent Heavy and Polite Spy informed you on the reason why I did?" She asked.
"The Bugler got loose," Painis answered, pounding his fists together. "And you want me to knock his ugly face in?"
"She wanted me to take him down," Weaselcake interjected, pushing Painis aside. "With my astounding powers." Painis shot up, growling at the crippled BLU Sniper Freak.
"Actually, I want both of you to defeat the Bugler Vagineer." Miss Pauling said. Painis and Weaselcake's jaws dropped at the aspect. Them? Working together? Surely she was joking. The expression on her face told a story of seriousness. "You're both the only Freaks to actually face the Bugler with any seriousness and kill him in battle. That's why we chose you. If you two can put aside your differences, and kill that Vagineer, you can do anything."
Painis and Weaselcake gave suspicious looks to one another, having a mental debate to actually fight alongside the other. In a sense, the plan was actually perfect, combining Painis' raw strength and Weaselcake's powers, they could easily defeat the Bugler. The two nodded in agreement, standing side by side before Miss Pauling.
"Let's go and kill that bugger." Weaselcake said.
"I will eat that Vagineer, make no doubts." Painis said. Miss Pauling smiled, activating a panel to allow Painis and Weaselcake to ascend. As the platform rose higher into the air, light pouring in from the surface, the image in light almost made the two Freaks look like divine heroes.
"You know, I could make a dozen sex jokes about you and him." Weaselcake said. "Just on that line alone."
"Shut it, or I'll bite your useless legs off." Painis growled. As the platform finally reached the surface, covering the ceiling yet again, Miss Pauling hoped that they could defeat the Bugler, and save everyone from the wrath of a Vagineer with the might of a God at his side.
Well
RED Base
The halls of the RED complex were silent, completely empty, save for the lone BLU Engineer. He didn't like wandering about enemy territory alone, mostly due to his paranoia of Spies sneaking up behind him and jamming a knife into his spine. However, he had no choice, as Sewer Medic ordered him to get the REDs to help against the Bugler, lest he destroy them all. The fighting in the sewer below had grown quiet, leaving Engineer worried about the outcome. Sewer Medic was indeed a fighter, but the Bugler was something else. He hadn't seen that much ferocity out of a Freak since their first encounter back in 2Fort... with Painis Cupcake. He even questioned if the Bugler was as strong, if not stronger, that that cannibalistic Soldier Freak.
Working his way to the very back of the base, Engineer entered the semi-circular white room, where the final control point sat on an elevated platform in front of the RED Primary Respawn room. Steadily walking his way through the room, the Texan noticed several brutally damaged sentry parts and bullet marks along the walls, and a distinct lack of blood and gore.
"Maybe the REDs got away?" Engineer quietly asked himself, stepping up to the large door. He leaned to the metallic garage door, and quickly gave three knocks. "Hey, y'all alright in there?"
"Laborer?" Responded a startled Frenchman, most-likely the RED Spy. "Is zat you or the BLU one?"
"If Ah was the RED Engineer," Engineer explained. "Ah would've entered the damn room already." For a while, there was no response. The door quickly opened, and Engineer found himself staring directly into the barrel of the RED Spy's revolver.
"What the hell do you think you're doing here, BLU?" RED Spy snarled, pressing the gun into the lens of one of Engineer's goggles. Slowly, Engineer raised his hands, shaking nervously in his worker boots.
"We were attacked by that new Freak," Engineer explained. "It tore through us like a harvester in a crop-field." Looking through his unobscured lens, Engineer peered into the room, seeing that a few other REDs were in the room, and they were injured. "Ah see you already met." Spy looked back at his injured comrades, and sighed woefully.
"Oui, we met." RED Spy said. "It attacked us in the front of the base, and separated us. Medic, our Engineer, Demoman and Pyro fled to the second floor, securing themselves in a meeting room. Soldier, Heavy and I managed to escape here, with severe injuries. Scout, the little fool that he is, took off after that perverse Freak. He hasn't respawned yet, so we can only assume he is still alive."
"Well, it got us in the Central Control Point," Engineer said. "Demo and I bailed into the sewers, forgetting about the whole 'Sewer Medic' issue." He let himself give a chuckle at the memory. "Believe it or not, that Freak actually saved me. Told me to come and get y'all so to regroup with the other BLUs. Mah guess is strength in numbers."
Spy blinked rapidly, confused by the situation. Namely the statement of the Sewer Medic, the Freak with the power to blow heads up with a vicious scream, helped them escape the genital-headed Freak, and wanted him to get the REDs to work with the BLUs. For a moment, Engineer sounded as crazy as Soldier, especially after that time he teleported mutated bread.
"You are aware how insane that sounds, right?" He queried. Engineer sighed, steadily backing away from the door.
"Ah know how crazy it is, but it's better than waiting around for that Vagineer to kill us." Engineer extended his right hand, waiting for his RED foe to make peace. RED Spy didn't know what to do, as he had never attempted negotiation or even a peace talk with the BLUs, just stabbed them in the back or shot them in the head. He turned to his comrades, looking at the huge chunk of flesh torn out of RED Heavy's arm and the caved in helmet of RED Soldier, hoping to find a solution. Eventually, logic gave in over instinct, and both RED and BLU shook hands.
The speaker inside the respawn room crackled to life, as the sound of someone heavily panting echoed from inside the communication box.
"Hey guys?" Panted a breathless RED Scout. "I, eh, think I got in over my head." RED Soldier hobbled over to the speaker, limping on his left leg. He pressed the red button on the box, and leaned his face close to the speaker.
"So you found that Freak?" He asked. "Are you bathing in the blood from his bleeding face that deserves a censor?!"
"Would that count as being on a 'period'?" Engineer muttered, RED Spy chuckling at the remark.
"I found him, yeah," RED Scout replied. "In the sewers. Thought I could get past him and the Sewer Medic. Got there and..." There was a pause so to draw breath. "It was dead." Everyone in the room perked up at the sound of that statement. RED Soldier grabbed the speaker with both hands and began furiously shaking it.
"Who was dead?!" He shouted.
"I saw two halves of Sewer Medic floatin' out of the sewers." RED Scout answered. "Freak-face was chewing him up like raw beef." Engineer's heart sank, as did his head. Although he knew Sewer Medic wouldn't be able to kill the Bugler, inside he hoped that the aquatic Freak would at least survive.
"Did it see you?" RED Spy asked, pushing his American ally out of the way.
"It didn't so much as see me as much as heard me." RED Scout breathlessly replied.
"You screamed like a little girl, didn't you?" RED Spy snorted.
"Go to hell, Spy," RED Scout hastily retorted. "It heard the water splashing in the sewers, and chased after me. I couldn't go around him, so I just ran back..."
"You lead it back to the BASE?!" RED Spy exclaimed.
"Sorry! I panicked!" He squeaked. "I'm hiding in the lofts, and that Freak is just wandering the halls." A loud crash resounded in the speaker, leading to RED Scout babbling incoherently and the dreaded Bugler bellowing at him. The call disconnected and left the REDs and single BLU in static. They all sat in undisturbed silence, shocked at RED Scout's mistake and horrified at the aspect of the Bugler returning. RED Heavy summed it all up perfectly in the final statement.
"Oh, this is bad."
