Mann Co. Headquarters

Miss Pauling's Office

It had taken her three days, nonstop, with no sleep and fifteen caffeine patches, but Miss Pauling finally cleared up the paperwork regarding the recent Bugler incident. Her office, normally crowded with papers, was finally cleared and clean, all the garish assignments stacked into a nice and neat pile. The assistant to the Administrator allowed herself a smile, as she sat down on her chair, leaned back, and propped her feet against her desk. Then the phone rang. The loud ringing startled Miss Pauling into kicking the stack of paper, and spreading the 72 hours-worth work all over the office. Groaning in frustration, Miss Pauling grabbed the phone, and answered the call.

"Whoever this is, it better be important!" Miss Pauling snarled.

"Looks like the Administrator is rubbing off on you," Said the smooth voice of a Frenchman. "Or we are. It doesn't matter." Miss Pauling calmed herself before continuing with her conversation with BLU Spy.

"Sorry, Spy," Miss Pauling apologized. "Just made a bit of a mess in the office. What's the problem?"

"My colleagues and I ran into a RED Soldier Freak," Spy explained. "He robbed Scout before taking off into the crowd, moving about in unnatural patterns."

"What was this Freak wearing?" Miss Pauling asked, hoping to get details.

"A military hat, a black neck-tie, and appeared to be very stupid and greedy." Spy recounted, based on Scout's description.

"Sounds like RubberFruit." Miss Pauling concluded. "He's a petty thief, but can be dangerous in the right circumstances. You guys are at Trade Plaza, right?"

"Oui, on paid vacation." Spy replied.

"Good. If I remember correctly, Saxton Hale stationed a relatively harmless Demoman Freak by the name of Demopan there," Miss Pauling explained. "Find him and he should be able to help out. He's not hard to miss, just look for a BLU Demoman with a pirate hat carrying a frying pan." Spy thanked Miss Pauling before hanging up, going off to diffuse the situation. Whilst Miss Pauling cleaned up the mess, she felt uncomfortable about the whole ordeal. Eventually, after making a large stack of papers on her desk, the assistant grabbed her scooter keys and pistol, and prepared to make an emergency trip to Trade Plaza.


Trade Plaza

Madness erupted as stalls and stands were turned over by the enraged Demopan in his rampage to bring an end to the thief Freak, RubberFruit. Whilst RubberFruit merely avoided and dodged every stall in his path, Demopan plowed through whatever and whomever was in his way. The gleefully oblivious smile plastered on RubberFruit's face was ignorant of his furious pursuer. Demopan wasn't the only one after stolen trade goods snatched by the Soldier Freak, Scout was hell-bent on recovering those keys for the WAY too many crates he had. The other mercenaries were trying their best to quell the chaos ensued by the two Freaks and Scout, assuring vendors and patrons that the situation would be dealt with swiftly. Inwardly, they all hoped their words would be true.

RubberFruit vaulted over a small info kiosk, but Demopan swung his frying pan into the table with tremendous force. The table flew through the air, bashing into RubberFruit's back and sending him sliding into a wall. Dizzy and disoriented, RubberFruit quickly found himself surrounded by Demopan and Scout, both glaring at him with vicious eyes.

"I am going to knock your teeth out," Scout threatened, cracking his knuckles. "Get rid of that stupid grin of yours."

"You're gonna be so bloody by the time I'm done with you," Demopan snarled, clutching his pan. "It'll take an entire soap factory to wipe the stains off the floors."

"Urp." RubberFruit said, suddenly became still, his cheeks puffing out and his eyes facing opposite directions. Demopan, realizing what he said, clamped his mouth shut and covered his face, while Scout just looked confused.

"Did he have a stroke or something?" Scout asked, scratching his head. The rest of the mercenaries (except for Soldier) and Polite Spy managed to join Demopan and Scout, each one of them gawking at the sight.

"Demopan, I see you caught RubberFruit." Polite Spy said.

"Yeah, but I accidently said that word." Demopan gulped. Polite Spy paled, waving away people staring at the mercenaries.

"What's the matter?" Sniper asked, "You caught the menace."

"He practically slipped away from me like soap," Scout said. "But we got him."

"Heheh..." RubberFruit chuckled. His cheeks stopped puffing, but his mouth formed into a wide, almost creepy smirk. Medic eyed the Freak carefully, taking notice of his current posture.

"He moved again." He noted. "Only when you mentioned a certain word."

"Oui, he did." Polite Spy explained. "You see, RubberFruit is a very unique variety of Freak, mainly having numerous unusual abilities compressed in a single form." He looked down at the frozen, grinning Freak sitting on the ground. "One of which is that he undergoes a dangerous transformation when a certain word is uttered."

"He becomes a bloody vacuum to another plane of existence," Demopan said. "Called the Penal Zone." Both Freaks visibly shuddered. "It's a black abyss of nothingness that can drive many a Freak insane... or more that they already are."

"So what do we do with him?" Scout asked, poking RubberFruit cautiously with his bat.

"I already contacted Miss Pauling," Spy said. "She'll send someone to collect this escapee." Everyone nodded in agreement, waiting around for the said escort to arrive. Then Soldier came with six bags.

"I just bought a month's supply of scented bathroom soap!" He proudly declared.

"Hah." RubberFruit chuckled. His head began to violently shake back and forth, his neck bones grating like metal with every movement. The mercenaries began backing away, while Demopan dove behind some boxes.

"Quick! Throw him into a closet!" Polite Spy ordered. On command, the mercenaries grabbed RubberFruit and tossed him inside an open closet, barricading it with boxes and junk. From within the closet, the sound of a loud vacuum roared as wind and other objects were pulled to the source. Luckily, the door was sturdy enough not to break, and held the Freak inside. After a good five minutes of waiting, the loud noise had finally died down, and the mercenaries felt confident to peek inside.

The room was practically empty. When they first tossed RubberFruit inside, it had been filled with janitorial equipment. All gone. Even the shelves and wall paint had been stripped off the walls and sent to the alleged Penal Zone. And amidst all of this was RubberFruit, laying on the ground, sound asleep. Miss Pauling had finally arrived on scene, gawking at the situation beforehand. As quietly as possible, Pyro walked into the room, picked up the sleeping Soldier Freak, and lifted his hands up so the assistant could put restraints on him.

Once RubberFruit was cuffed (and stuck in a strait jacket), Miss Pauling strapped him to her moped, waved the BLUs off, and drove away. For a moment, the mercenaries and two Freaks could breathe easily after that whole fiasco. However, the calm was broken when Scout realized something of critical importance.

"Hey..." Scout said. "That jackass still has my keys!"


Insanity, USA

Word traveled fast across the Freak Holding Facilities of Painis Cupcake and Weaselcake's victory over the Bugler at Well. Many of the Freaks who had known the wrath of that Vagineer and his pet felt this was a cause for celebration, while others (namely several Vagineers) wish to hold a shameful memoriam. In honor of the two Freaks' victory, many Freaks far and wide arrived at the local bar at Insanity, USA, and held a massive party. All around the building, drinks were being served, glasses were klinking against each other, friends were laughing, and everyone was just having the time of their lives. And at the very center of it all, at the rounded table, were the guests of honor, Painis Cupcake and Weaselcake.

"And so I inflated him once Snyphurr released his curse," Weaselcake explained, regaling the story of his and Painis' recent victory. "And Painis leapt up into the air, and pulled that katana out of his stomach. And... Who can explain the science on how he died? Dr. No?" The aforementioned RED Medic Freak swayed drunkenly at the table, a dizzy smirk on his face.

"I'm a surgeon, not a physician." He slurred before collapsing on the table, resulting in the whole table bursting into laughter. Another Medic Freak, one adorned in a white wizard robe and hat, leaned over with a chilled beer.

"It exposed the air inflated in his body," The Medic wizard said. "Popping him like a balloon!"

"Exact-a-matic, Medizard," Painis said, gnawing on a bloody leg. "Made a meaty skeet target outta Bugler! And that, Freaks of Mann Co, is how we killed Bugler and saved Well." The entire table erupted in cheers, raising their mugs in joy at the falling of one of the most feared Vagineers. Christian Brutal Sniper stood up in his chair, tankard filled with beer in the air, a joyful smile on his face.

"A toast to Painis Cupcake and Weaselcake!" Christian Brutal announced, directing everyone's attention. "The slayers of the Bugler and craziest of crazies!" Everyone cheered in agreement, banging their mugs together, followed by a very long swig. One by one, the mugs hit the table, and each of the Freaks belched loudly, while others collapsed on the floor. Sitting at the bar were a pair of Demomen Freaks, one RED with a sleepy look and the other RED with patched up clothing.

"You all..." The BLU Demoman Freak, Soupcock Porkpie, slurred. "All a buncha lightweight sissies. Am I right, Soupcan?"

The other Demoman Freak, Dic Soupcan, laughed heartily. "You got that right, Porkpie!" The two gave each other a high five, while Gentlespy drunkenly rose from his seat.

"Of course you could handle a dozen beers," Gentlespy muttered loudly. "You live in one, Pork-pig." Porkpie turned around, glaring at the Spy murderer with hostility.

"Ye got a problem with me livin' quarters, Frenchie?" Porkpie accused. "It's probably a lot better than that shack you split with your blade-lovin' boyfriend." Now Christian Brutal Sniper rose beside his friend, still somewhat sober, snarling at the Demo-Freak.

"Got yourself some fightin' words, there, don't you?" Christian Brutal angrily asked, cracking his knuckles. The two Demo-Freaks got out of their seats, ready for to fight.

"You want to go?" Dic snarled, picking up a beer bottle. "Let's DO IT!" And with a mighty throw, Dic hurled the bottle at Gentlespy, the latter quickly avoiding the projectile, but the Freak behind him wasn't so lucky. Now covered in beer and glass shards, Painis Cupcake growled furiously and leapt out of his seat.

"You're a dead man, Soupcan!" He shouted, pouncing on the Demo Freak and pummeling him. And thus... chaos ensued.

"Bar brawl!" Ass Pancakes called out, swinging his fist into a nearby Freak's face. One by one, everyone inside the bar was duking it out, smashing bottles, throwing punches, flipping tables, swinging chairs, and tossing people about. Amidst the chaos, Intelligent Heavy stuck his head inside the room, about to say something, when he saw the beatings going on. To further drive him away, a RED Spy Freak wearing a sleeveless vest and a miner helmet powered by a potato battery crashed into the wall, his eyes dizzily flying about his head.

"Rainbows..." He muttered before collapsing. Intelligent Heavy slowly backed away from the building, knowing full well he could not win such a fight. In a matter of minutes, the entire bar was almost leveled as more and more Freaks fought without end. This battle ended, however, when the doors swung open as a Demo-MeeM hobbled into the room.

"MeeM!" He loudly called. "MeeM MeeM!" Everyone halted their fight, staring at this odd MeeM.

"What's the matter, boy?" Painis asked, amidst strangling Dic Soupcan. "Scuttlebucket fell down the well again?"

"MeeM!" The Demo-MeeM shouted.

"Wait, I know this guy," Magic Mann said, stuck inside a barrel. "He ain't an actual MeeM." With a snap of his fingers, the Demo-MeeM vanished in a flash of light and turned into a RED Demo-Freak wearing a top-hat. "What's up, Gentlemanly Demo?"

"You're going to pay, you weasel," Gentlemanly Demo snarled, breathing heavily. "I've got some horrible news: Doppelganger escaped!" A collective gasp echoed throughout the bar, as everyone's jaws dropped to the floor.

"Doppelganger's loose?" Weaselcake asked. "Are you sure?"

"I saw him attack Cryo and freeze him solid." Gentlemanly explained. "So yes, the Copycat Freak is on the loose!" Murmurs spread throughout the bar, knowing the problems of such a dangerous Freak running rampant once again. Major Scout Guy rose from his seat, a stern look on his face.

"We gotta stop him before he steals the powers of someone really dangerous and causes problems." Major stated. "I've still got a score to settle with that white-suited Frenchie, so I'm organizing a posse to take him down. Who's with me?"

"I'll join." Medizard said, lifting the collapsed table off himself. "Doppelganger many have bested me once, but I shall defeat him again."

"Me too," Magic Mann added, pulling himself out of the barrel. "That sneaky bastard won't get me twice. I'm going to take him down."

"I'll come, too," Christian Brutal Sniper said. Everyone turned their eyes towards the butchering Freak, surprised at his choice.

"You?" Major asked. "No offense, but you ain't exactly one of the good types of Freaks. Why do ya want to help?"

"To be honest, mate," Christian Brutal said. "I'm not really sure. But what I know is that Doppelganger is dangerous and must be stopped. You'll need a butcher like me on your side." Major smirked, clapping the BLK Sniper on the back.

"Glad to have you on the team, then." He said. "As for everyone else, stay in groups and keep an eye out for a Spy in a white suit." He turned to his comrades and waved as they all piled out of the room, searching for the dangerous Freak Doppelganger.


Hidden in the shadows, a white suited Spy stood behind the wall of the bar, watching as Major Scout Guy, Medizard, Magic Mann, and Christian Brutal Sniper ran outside to engage the enemy. He smirked to himself, glacial magic coursing through his hands.

"All according to plan."


Freak-lopedia: Medizard

Medizard is a WHT Medic Freak, created by Youtuber Kugawattan. Medizard is a cryomancer, a wizard of ice, able to create anything made of ice and use it as a weapon, ranging from icicles, frozen balls, ice walls, and even a frozen longsword. Medizard also creates frozen copies of himself whenever he teleports, usually to confuse enemies. Medizard has a pet dove, named Nieve, whom remains his constant companion.


Dic Soupcan

Dic Soupcan is an alcoholic RED Demoman Freak, created by Youtuber metabug. Dic Soupcan is almost 110% drunk, going about either passed out or on a drunken walk-about. However, he is not at all helpless. His alcoholism has granted him the ability to vomit a powerful and almost acidic vomit that can splatter in over a 10 ft. radius. Dic Soupcan also can make a devastating charge that can flatten an elephant, and apparently can survive decapitation. Dic Soupcan however, is very stupid, so most fighters can outwit him easily.


SoupCock Porkpie

SoupCock Porkpie is a RED Demoman Freak, created by Youtuber UntouchedShadovv. Porkpie lives in a scrumpy bottle, coming out to attack people and drink more beer. When encountering a victim, Porkpie introduces himself and proclaims to "glue" them. He then butchers his victims and uses their innards as a makeshift glue to glue the body parts to the walls and ceilings. He also can spit angry cats out at people when enraged.


Doppelganger

Doppelganger is a WHT Spy Freak, created by Youtubers AdmiralTrainstorm and Shirosaki97. Doppelganger is technically a normal Spy, but with the ability to copy the powers of other Freaks he touches. He can absorb up to 6 other Freak's powers, able to combine them with others and become a devastating force. However, once he overworks himself, all the powers are dispersed and Doppelganger is rendered helpless.