Chapter Eighteen: Flattered
Natasha was visibly annoyed as she drove, her face stern like an upset school teacher. Sam would have much preferred being scolded over the accusing silence she was creating. He hadn't done anything wrong. He hadn't contacted Eve to warn her. He hadn't contacted anyone, for that matter, since the bugs were installed. Yet here he sat, reaping some silent punishment, feeling like a failure.
"Did Director Fury ask you not to yell at me so he could do all the yelling himself?" He asked as calmly as he could, though a pinch of resentment slipped through.
"Yelling? Why would either of us yell at you?" She remarked quickly.
"Because this plan went to shit."
"Is it your fault the plan went to shit?"
"No, it's not, I didn't do anything wrong," he sprung to defend himself.
"That's odd," she said, "that you haven't done anything wrong, yet you're expecting to be reprimanded. I find that inconsistent. You're not thinking the way innocent people think."
"Sure I am! Don't start profiling me," he groaned, "because I don't want you thinking I had a hand in this. I know why you'd think I did, but I didn't. I'm simply assuming that you're assuming I had something to do with this."
"Again, Sam, not the way innocent people think."
He sighed and leaned forward in his seat. "I don't know how she found out, maybe she really did notice them while taking out the trash."
"Please stop thinking about this like her friend. I was confident in your ability to be objective from the start. I suppose that was my mistake, but maybe it's just that you're not trying hard enough. Do me a favor and take just one step back. What she said made very little sense. The two of them were locked in a moment maybe three minutes before she called you. She seemed to be enjoying herself in said moment. So, let me tell you from experience, that you don't stop in the middle to take out the trash." Natasha thought back on how she had abandoned her last romantic interaction for her boss, and it seemed entirely different.
"But..what if she wasn't in the mood, or...feeling unhappy? Maybe she's second guessing entering into this fling-"
Natasha held up her hand to silence him. "You may not have done anything wrong here. Not intentionally, anyway. But you keep doing this. Looking for things that you want to see instead of accepting what's there. I asked you to take a step back and you took two forward. You're trying to think like her, be in her head, rationalize her actions because she can do no wrong to you. She has done wrong to you, and if she's cooperating with the enemy-she's done wrong to a lot of people."
"Why would she be cooperating? Maybe she-"
"Stop. This is why we installed the bugs, to get more insight. I don't know the answer to questions like that and neither do you, so stop pretending. Be reasonable. What she said didn't make any sense, and that's cause for alarm-end of story."
"But-"
"Sam. Stop."
"But-!"
"Sam!" She exclaimed. The point she was trying to make became irrelevant. If he really couldn't see it clearly, if he couldn't be objective...he was no longer useful. She set to brainstorming-how could she change that? She couldn't change his mind, so she would have to play into the mindset he was stuck in. If he acted the way he had at the initial interview again, they could potentially capture an argument before all the devices were removed. Anything Graham, or even Eve, said could prove useful. So she concocted a small, nasty statement to get under his skin. "You need to accept that she doesn't want you."
Sam's eyes hardened and wouldn't meet hers. As the seed she'd planted grew and engulfed him, a trap of truth, not once did she lean toward regret. For him to learn this and know it now instead of holding onto self-serving delusions would do him more good than he knew. Better to break his heart in one harsh movement than chip away at it until he crumbled.
Elsewhere
Eve opened the door with stony animosity. Seeing Natasha gave her a completely different feeling, unrelated to her anger. "Had to bring someone with you, Sam? Are you not authorized to do this yourself?"
"Well, I didn't install them," Sam snapped and it became clear he wasn't going to take his verbal punishment lying down.
"Had to have someone more qualified do that for you?" She glared until they entered and Natasha got straight to work without a word. Loki stood across the room, observing.
"We each have our own areas of expertise," Sam replied smugly, "yours seems to be in abandoning friendships when you've got a new boy toy."
"Oh yes, of course. I'm not at your beck and call for the better part of a week and that means I must have abandoned you. You say that like we didn't speak at all." If she was being held hostage by a normal psychopath with no magic powers or heightened senses, the recording devices would have been a great idea. They'd have been able to drag him out by his ankles within minutes. Was SHIELD unaware that Loki could sense their technology? Sense their presence? Maybe they didn't know any more about him than she did. "And besides, how does that mean you get to install spy gear here?"
"Go ahead, Eve. Misinterpret this as me not trusting you. Take it like I had any say in the matter-"
"I refuse to believe you had no opportunities to object."
"Fine. Fine, you're right. I could have gone against my powerful supervisors, told them it was a bad idea. But you know what? I would have been lying. This was a great idea. Furthermore, it has nothing to do with you-"
"Nothing to do with me?!" She interjected, her voice raised to a shout. "This is my home!"
"It's your mother's home, first of all. Second of all-we're only interested in him."
"Who, me?" Loki jumped in, sounding shocked. "Well, I'm flattered."
Sam rolled his eyes. "Whatever. When Agent Romanov is finished, we'll be on our way and you two can go back to whatever it was you were doing."
Loki grinned and took a menacing step toward the angry man. "I think you know very well what we were doing, seeing as you were listening in."
Eve looked from Loki to Sam and examined her friend's face for telling clues. When he didn't respond, only frowned, she gasped. "You were...you were…" she started, unable to catch her breath now. Her thoughts escaped her one by one, slipping swiftly down a metallic drain of bitterness. The thought had crossed her mind, of course it had, but she never believed he would agree to listen in. She began to wonder if she knew him at all. He had this completely different life than what he'd told her, some secret government job, attractive Russian co-workers-and a bit of a temper. "You were listening? That is just sick."
"No, Eve," he responded before looking back to Graham, "you're sick." He ignored her statement's validity, blinded by his own personal vendettas as usual.
"What have I done to deserve this?" Eve asked, voice high.
Sam turned to face her again. She stood tall and confident, her eyes glowed with a dramatic flare. He got close to her and fought his instincts to buckle and apologize, try to make her feel better, try to salvage their relationship. He could do those things later, if the time arose, but now it seemed more prudent to be honest and clear. "Eve. Whether you'll admit it or not, you've been dishonest with me. Whether it be about something small or something large, there are things you aren't telling me. I'm your best friend. Forget about the fact that maybe I'm hopelessly in love with you, forget about my baggage for just this one moment, and remember that I know you better than anyone. Arguably better than your own mother, though that's a different train of thought. If you think you can hide something from me and get away with it, you're sorely mistaken. The fact that you think you can pull the wool over my eyes sickens me more than one hundred rejections and dozens of one night stands with dipshit men."
Loki watched Eve's hardened exterior slowly erode with each brutally honest word. He saw in her a dangerous potential for failure and moved to her side swiftly to build her back up. He put his arm around her and made eye contact with Sam-the most threatening eyes he could muster. "I'm sorry, but, did you say you were in love with her?" Sam couldn't reply. He tried to look away, but Loki's eyes demanded his attention. "What a thing to say when she's here with her lover, when you've heard us together for however long you've been listening. Does she seem unhappy?" Sam opened his mouth to respond, Loki did not allow him to. "Do you aim to make her unhappy? Why, because she doesn't want to be with you? That seems one long step to the selfish side of things, doesn't it?" Eve clung to him and looked up, repeating in her mind, Please stop, please stop, please stop. If he was listening, he ignored her. "You'd better go help your comrade get the rest of those things. If you say one more harsh word to my Eve, you'll regret it."
At this time, Natasha strolled back into the front door. "No need for that, we're done here," she declared emotionlessly. Sam turned without another sound and left. Natasha smiled curtly at the couple before following him.
Eve and Loki stood in silence until the car sped off. Then she allowed herself an exasperated sigh.
"He wasn't lying," Loki chuckled, "he is hopelessly in love with you."
"Do you have to be so cruel?" She spat as she wriggled out from under his arm.
"What? Firstly-yes, I do, it's the only way I know how to communicate. Secondly-you were being equally mean to him."
"I'm allowed to do that. Besides, I didn't stand there and pick at his insecurities!"
"I was merely trying to shut him up. You seemed distraught, and I didn't want you saying something foolish and blowing our cover."
"Our cover?" she spat at him in disbelief. "Like we're in this together or something? Don't make me laugh. I've been a part of this against my will, and you know that very well."
"You didn't seem so unwilling on the counter this morning," he sneered with an evil grin.
She bit her lip and let sorrow overtake her. "It really is all just a game to you..." She remarked in a near whisper. "How can you tell where your fabricated emotions end and your real ones begin? I certainly can't tell the difference. I suppose that just speaks to your talent." She brushed past him and headed into the hall. She tried to extract the memories of his hands, his tongue, his body from her brain but they were too stubborn and kept springing back to sting her.
Loki followed her and grabbed her arm, holding her back. She refused to turn to him and just kept her arm taut, hoping that maybe he would release her. "Eve," he spoke and her name on his lips was like heaven, relaxing her, "I know it must be hard for you to see what's real and fake with all this hiding, all the falsehoods I've presented." He tugged gently on her arm and she faced him. "Let the other things fall away for now. Think your most private, honest thought. Don't lie to yourself and don't lie to me. Underneath the stress and panic, what's there?" He drew her in and touched his forehead to hers. Her thoughts filled his brain in a flurry, worries and hesitations, resentments and regrets, until one solitary notion remained.
I want you.
He smiled. "I want you, too."
A/N:
Okay so the next chapter is going to be sexually explicit. No plot development except for the Avengers segment which will be at the end. So, if you're not comfortable with reading the sexy bits, skip to the Elsewhere. Don't skip the chapter entirely!
