Chapter 33

Freak Holding Facility

Insanity, USA

The streets of Insanity, USA, were unusually empty today, not very many Clones wandering about or Freaks on the prowl. Heck, even the average tumbleweed that strolls about had apparently taken the day off. The area was so quiet, it came as no shock that the loud rumble of a garage door near the edge of town. A lone house near the walled border of the Facility would appear unsuspecting, but the keen eye aware of the fact the house has an extended garage built into the wall would know that it housed a fairly obvious secret: a hidden entrance into Insanity, USA. The secret passageway is marked off the grid by HECU and standard Mann Co. personnel, but known only to a select four people (and one or twelve really inquisitive Freaks). The door lifted, allowing the nine heavily armed BLU Team mercenaries to enter the dangerous lair of the Freaks. Sniper took a moment to scan the area, taking note of the number of buildings usable for choke points and ambushes.

"Alright, here's the rundown." Sniper said, peering through the scope of his rifle. "We're in unknown territory, possibly surrounded by over hundreds of dangerous mutants, hunting down a bunch of small robot cameras with limited surprise." He brought the gun down. "Why did we take the job again?"

"They threatened us with permanent death." Heavy rumbled, hefting Sasha in his thick arms. "Plus added bonus of extra pay. Enticing offer, I say." Soldier shoved his way to the front, carting the Direct Hit launcher on his shoulder, and stood proud before the others.

"I don't care what maggots we face out there," Soldier proclaimed. "We will beat their asses in, destroy the possibly communist spy cameras, and then return to base for coffee and steaks!" He turned towards the city of Freaks and shouted at the top of his lungs. "YOU HEAR ME, FREAKS?! I AM NOT TRAPPED IN A FACILITY WITH YOU, YOU ARE TRAPPED IN A FACILITY WITH ME!" He raised a hand to his ear, awaiting a response. And waited. And waited.

"They're not going to respond, Solly." Engineer said. "Apparently the Freaks are dignified." The Texan reached into his pocket and produced the PDA the Agents gave him in order to track down the mysterious bugs. The device turned on with a quiet blip, a small dark radar illuminating with a gridline map of the area. "So this little wonder will point us to the bugs in this area, but the range is limited, so we have to get in close to squish 'em." He turned to face his cohorts. "Are y'all storage devices workin' like a dream?" About a year after the War Games started, Engineer had developed Australium based machinery that allowed people to carry objects inside standard packs by tapping into Hammer Space. The BLUs demonstrated as such, each briefly swapping out their weapons for one of their other options.

"Just get in and shoot the freakin' things." Scout said, his trademark smirk evident on his smug little face. "Sounds simple," He walked over to Engineer and peered at the device. "How many does the gizmo say we've got?" The radar displayed a number… with a rather displeasing amount.

"Two-hundred 'n fifty." Engineer frowned. "And given how apparently large the different Facilities are, they've gotta be pretty spread out." He stuffed the PDA in his pocket and gave his shotgun a quick click. "Well, fields ain't grazed by puttin' the cows in the field. Let's move out, boys." The nine men grouped up together and began wandering the eerily empty streets of Insanity, USA. The men took notice that the town itself seemed to be modeled after some of the larger cities in America, and even had a bit of Teufort thrown into the mix to give it a rustic sort of charm. Every once in a while, a shout or gunshot would ring out, putting the BLUs on edge, given that it could come from anywhere due to the Freak presence. Eventually, they came across the first bug, the odd robotic camera clinging to the side of a building, hiding in the shadows from anyone in the area. Spy simply pulled out his Ambassador Revolver, the silver sheen of the pistol glinting in the sunlight, and shot the bug dead on. The little robot exploded into pieces upon being shot, scattering upon the ground in little blue fragments.

"One down." Spy said, blowing the smoke off his revolver.

"Two hundred and forty nine to go." Scout grumbled, prepping his scattergun. Just as the Boston Batter rounded a corner, a small explosion rocked the building as a beam of energy nearly took his head off. Scout managed to dodge the attack, and the mercenaries joined up, weapons at the ready, spotting a trio of Freaks standing a little ways away. They were all RED Freaks, a Demoman wearing a pirate hat and wielding a sword and shield, an Engineer wearing a robotic helmet and sporting various cybernetic enhancements, and a Sniper with a wooden guitar in one of his hands.

"Look at this, lads." The Demo Freak said, digging his sword into the ground. "New batch of Clones for us to play with."

"Bunch of patsies ready to get their heads knocked around?" The guitar toting Sniper said, plucking at a random string. "Captain Demoman, let's get to it." The BLUs drew their weapons, ready to deal with these new Freaks.

"Hold on, Gravy Guitarman," Said the robot Engineer. "Mah scanners indicate there's somethin' a bit queer about these Clones."

"What're ya on about, Robot Engie?" Captain Demoman asked. Robot Engie pointed at the BLUs with his Gunslinger robot hand.

"Y'all know how Clones are apparently made is lower IQs to prevent them from doin' somethin' stupid, right?" Robot Engie remarked. The two other Freaks slowly nodded, not exactly getting the point. "Well, unlike the usual bunch of brain-dead duplicates running about for the big fish to chew up, they seem a bit more…" His red eyes flashed brightly. "Coordinated." Captain Demoman and Gravy Guitarman took another look at the BLUs before them, and did notice something seemed off. The way they stood, guns at the ready, looks of determination evident on their faces, ready to deal with whatever came their way. This wasn't the look of average Clones…

"Pah!" Captain Demoman scoffed. "Those lassies up in the Eye probably decided to bump their brains up a bit to give us more of a challenge!" He gave his sword a whirl. "So let's get to it before I scare 'em off with mah face-to-face MAN fightin'!" Gravy held his guitar above his head like a club and Robot Engie activated an energy ball in his hand. "Kill 'em all!" Just as the Demo Freak gave the order, Spy immediately shot with his Ambassador, knocking Captain Demoman's sword out of his hand. The Demo Freak looked at the BLUs, and saw the smug look on Spy's face.

"I'm sorry," Spy taunted. "Did I break your concentration?" Captain Demoman growled, picking up his sword again. "Let us move, gentlemen." Scout, Sniper, Spy, Soldier, Engineer and Pyro dove out of the way, while Heavy unleashed the wrath of his oversized gun on the Freaks as Medic charged him with a Medigun. Gravy Guitarman was torn to shreds, peppered red by the bullets and reduced to a bleeding corpse in twelve seconds, while Captain Demoman cowardly used Robot Engie as a shield, the robot's durable body repelling the blows.

"U-S-A!" Soldier shouted, firing three rockets from his Direct Hit. The nimble rockets flew through the air right at Robot Engie and Captain Demoman. Robot Engie was able to shoot two of the rockets away with eye-beams, but the third struck him in the chest, sending him and Captain Demoman careening into a wall. The two sat there, dazed for a moment, when Captain Demoman regained his senses and quickly threw Robot Engie towards the very angry Heavy Weapons Guy charging at them like a bull.

"I'M COMING FOR YOU!" Heavy bellowed. Robot Engie yelped as Heavy rammed him full force into the building, the robot Freak's metal frame unable to stand the sheer force of pissed off Russian mayhem. Heavy pulled his arm away, allowing the now bent in half body of Robot Engie to fall out of the wall in an unceremonious heap of scrap. Captain Demoman began frantically scrambling away from these 'unusual Clones', crawling on all fours to reach his sword and get the hell out of there. Scout saw Captain Demoman's escape, and decided to do a little work himself, pulling out his wooden bat and baseball.

"Batter up!" Scout shouted, tossing the ball and taking a swing. The ball sailed across the area and cracked Captain Demoman right on the head, dazing the Demo Freak into stumbling around like a drunkard after one too many. In other words, Demoman on an average Friday night.

"Captain Demo…" Captain Demoman slurred, his vision blurred by the recent concussion. "Most feared swordsman of Insanity, USA…" He shook his head, regaining his senses, and glared angrily at the mercenaries. "Oh, I'm going to hit you so hard, you'll have a twitch!" He drew his sword and charged at the BLUs, bellowing a war cry unlike any other… only for the Mercenaries to sidestep and get his shield arm stuck in the wall behind him. "Ach, cripe." He looked around and saw the nine mercenaries all crowded around him, sporting downright bemused looks. "Err… Can we call it a draw?" He was instantly silenced by Engineer striking him across the face with a wrench, knocking the Demo Freak clean out.

"That was way too easy." Engineer said, holstering his wrench. "Didn't expect the first Freaks we see here to be such pushovers." Medic nodded, then glanced to see that another witness was in the area, much more intimidating than the dumb trio that had just fallen

"Vat about him?" Medic asked, pointing towards the newcomer. Standing little ways away from the group, hiding in the shadow of a building, was a BLU Scout Freak. Compared to the other Freaks out there, he seemed fairly normal, dressed in a blue military shirt and baggy jogging pants and carried a pair of sleek black pistols with him, and his face bore a strong, stern feeling. Sniper took notice that there was a faint scar across the newcomer's neck. The Scout Freak walked over to them, holding up two fingers in a show of peace. The Mercenaries reluctantly complied, lowering their guns as the Freak approached.

"Non-hostile Freak…" Engineer mused. "Well, howdy, I suppose." The Scout Freak didn't say anything, but instead made several quick motions with his hands, attempting communication.

"He's speaking in Sign Language?" Spy remarked, glancing at Scout. "I didn't think you were smart enough to know a motion based language."

"I don't." Scout admitted, ignorant of the insult. The Scout Freak continued to sign, looking a bit more annoyed. "Anybody wanna translate?" Soldier immediately stepped forward, but was shoved back by Engineer.

"Ah know a bit of the lingo." Engineer said, with slight confidence. "He's congratulating us on taking down Captain Demoman and his cronies, but said they were weaker than most Freaks." The Scout Freak nodded, continuing to sign. "He also knows we ain't Clones."

"Nothing can beat the originals!" Soldier proclaimed loudly.

"He knows," Engineer translated. "He's the guy that found the bugs the Agents were goin' on about, calls himself Epic Scout." Both Spy and Sniper snorted in laughter. "He's gonna help us out in taking out the rest of the bugs while also keeping the more dangerous Freaks off our backs." Epic Scout shook his head, repeating his motions. "Oh, whoops, got it wrong. We are gonna help him take out the rest of the bugs here, and he's forced to babysit us."

"And dat is where I draw the line." Scout said, storming up to his Freak duplicate. "I dunno where you get off tellin' us what to do," He jabbed a finger on Epic Scout's chest, the Freak's face remaining a mask of apathy. "But you are a mutant clone of me, and the original is always better." He poked Epic Scout in the ribs. "So take your 'silent protagonist' attitude, roll it sideways, and shove it so far up your ass it reaches your brain." He poked him again. "Got it?!" Scout blinked for a moment, and found that Epic Scout had vanished from sight. "Where'd he- GAH?!" A powerful blow struck him on the back of the head, sending the young mercenary flying onto the ground. Scout moaned in pain, the blow disorienting his vision and giving him a possible concussion, but he could clearly see his own furious face looking back on a Freak's body. Epic Scout leaned down towards the downed Scout, until he was inches away from his ears.

"We may be the same," Epic Scout hissed, his voice incredibly raspy and almost pained. "But we are nothing alike. So shut up and you'll live to see another day." He pulled Scout up off the ground and walked over to the others, resuming his signing.

"He says we've gotta keep a move on." Engineer translated. "He ain't the only one who knows we're here, and the others ain't as friendly as he is." Epic Scout started walking off, motioning for the others to follow. Scout shot an angry, yet confused, glare at his Freak counterpart, but a pat on the shoulder by Spy told him to let it go. The nine men of BLU team followed after their new guide, ready to exterminate the rest of the mysterious bugs.


Sitting on a rooftop, overlooking the area where three Freaks lay dead at the hands of unusual Clones, stood the three grey garbed henchmen of Dr. Schadenfreude, bearing witness to the entire battle and the sudden arrival of Epic Scout. Razor saw everything through his binoculars, right until the BLUs vanished from sight with the aid of their new bodyguard. The Sniper Freak growled, bringing his binoculars down and facing his comrades, with Shriek doing warm ups and Golem simply sitting down in thought.

"Targets just got backup." Razor said. "The single-most augmented Clone-made Freak in the entire Project, Epic Scout." Shriek scoffed, stretching his leg muscles.

"Eh, I can take Epic Scout down no prob!" Shriek boasted. "He may be fast, but I'm the fastest Scout Freak ever! Nothin' can beat the speed of sound."

"I don't doubt your abilities," Razor admitted, adjusting his sunglasses. "But Epic Scout is more dangerous than our old target, Soldine. Just watch your ego, I don't want to botch this up and get the Doc pissed off again."

"I will crush leetle men." Golem intoned, clutching a rock in his hands. "Bury them alive." Razor leaned over the building again, spotting the BLUs further down in the city.

"Let's move." Razor said, clutching the binoculars tightly. The metal in his hands warped and molded like clay, until taking shape of a long metal hatchet. Razor jumped off the side of the building, digging the hatchet into the wall to slow his descent. Shriek and Golem followed, with Shriek running down the building while Golem simply jumped and landed on the street, forming a massive impact crater upon landing. The grey Freaks took off down an alley, unaware of the black clothed Sniper hiding in the shadows, etching an upside-down cross into the building with a jagged blade.

"New quarry to bag." He snickered, his bearded face glinting off the side of his blade. "Hopefully I'll have more fun here than with Necroborg." Christian Brutal chuckled, slowly stalking down the street, ready for a real battle.


Freak-lopedia

Epic Scout

Epic Scout is a BLU Scout 'Freak', made by YouTuber Crash Maul. Formerly a standard BLU Scout Clone, there was an incident in his creation that caused him to have enhanced reflexes, heightened senses, and higher intelligence. He moved and thought faster than most other Clones, and after an astounding victory in a simulated battle, Epic Scout was bumped up to Freak status, the only other Clone given this honor being Rabid Heavy Taming Engineer. Epic Scout became one of the strongest pseudo-Freaks to date, but suffered his first 'defeat' at the hands of Rabid Heavy and his Engineer Tamer, which left him with badly damaged vocal cords, forcing him to speak in sign language. Epic Scout, in addition to his heightened skills and intelligence, has incredible reflexes and stamina, able to move at absurd speeds before his Freak augmentations. With his new augmentations, Epic Scout can move in the blink of an eye, and has been able to dodge even the fastest bullet coming his way. He is a master at improvising, able to use any weapon he gets his hands on in combat to defeat his foes, but prefers to stick with a pair of automatic pistols. Despite being a Freak, Epic Scout still has low durability, but can still take quite a beating, and has even managed to survive an explosion caused by Rabid Heavy. Epic Scout is often very cold and distant, but will not hesitate to turn help away from others, and can form strong friendships with those whom he trusts.


Author's Note: Captain Demoman and Gravy Guitarman get no Freak-lopedia introduction because they suck... SO MUCH! I mean, why are they even considered Freaks?! They are the weakest Freaks out there, heck Scuttlebucket, the Freak that is literally just a bucket with hands and a face, could beat these two. Robot Engie is actually STRONGER than they are, WHY DOES HE WORK WITH THESE TWO?! *pant* *pant* *pant* Okay, rant over. So, we're onto the new threat, Epic Scout and Scout clearly have issues with each other, Razor and his cronies are on the march, and the return of my personal favorite Freak appears! What will happen next?! Only TIME. WILL. TELL!

~IDA Official, Head Writer Mask