Waiting

Fiona picked up the letter from her nightstand again, it had arrived the previous morning and she had read it so many times she could already recite her husband's words. He had told her not to worry, the kids were with him and they were behaving. He had written quite a lot about them, he probably knew she'd be concerned. The relief she felt when she first received it almost made her knees weak, despite having already figured it out. She then decided that maybe it was a good thing she was getting a break from the triplets, Grimm knows she needed one. She hadn't been separated from them for very long before, no one would ever have them for any longer than a few hours. The two nights and counting was the longest it had been for their whole lives. On particularly bad days she would complain to whoever would listen about never getting a break. There were times where she swore if she heard someone call 'mom' again she could be close to throwing them all out, Shrek included. But she missed them, she missed them all so much.

It had been nice to spend a day and a half child free. She had a peaceful chat with her mother, which was wonderful to not have the continuous interruptions. She had also helped her mom run royal errands in Artie's place, and she could tell her mother loved having her there. Lillian had been telling her stories of when she was little and used to eagerly tag along. She reminisced about the first time Fiona walked down the halls without assistance and how she would laugh at the jester. They remembered the time the triplets were first brought to the castle and were allowed to roam through the giant halls. They had laughed together but Fiona could tell she was lonely without her father, she couldn't imagine what it must be like alone in the castle. Still, Fiona knew her presence brought her mother much joy, and it was good they could have some time together that didn't completely revolve around the children. Eventually though, the conversations ran out, and the silence was all too unusual for the ogress. She was bored, she'd done enough reading, sewing and other general pastimes to last her a lifetime in the tower. She didn't want to do more of that now.

What had been worse were the two nights she had to spend alone. Her mom went to bed far too early for her liking, and Fiona found herself sitting in her bedroom alone. She had requested more candles and made sure every single one of them was lit. Being stuck in her room with no one around felt eerily similar to the tower, she hated it. She had barely spent a night alone since she married Shrek. She had spent both nights tossing and turning before she eventually drifted off. Now, she watched the sun as it slowly crept over the horizon and read and reread the letter, to keep her assured that everything was okay. She wondered if they were sleeping, or if the kids had given Shrek trouble all through the nights. It seemed even though they were such a distance from her, they were still giving her trouble.

Fiona found herself jumping a little by an unexpected light knocking on her door, "Yes?" She pulled herself up, sitting in bed as a shy messenger crept into the room.

"A note for you, your highness," they bowed and placed it on the dresser and quickly left.

Fiona curiously left the bed and took it. It was so early, she didn't understand. She opened the small note and realised it was from Shrek,

Fiona. Things went wrong. You were right this whole time and I'm sorry for everything. I'm going to fix this. Shrek. We're going to be back late. I love you.

Fiona scanned over the tiny note several more times.

What?

The ogress wished her husband was with her so she could punch him in the nose. What went wrong? What had she been right about? What did he have to be sorry for? She couldn't think of any major argument they'd had recently to warrant an apology now. Much less something related to things going wrong on their journey. A thought then struck her. What if it was something to do with the kids? Again, she couldn't think of something they'd disagreed about, but in the last letter he had told her not to worry and he'd written a fair amount about them. This time, it was brief and there was nothing. Did that mean she did need to worry? I love you. She read those words again, in the last letter he had ended with We love you. What did that mean? He had put so much thought into the last letter, to make sure she didn't panic, and this, this was just painful to read for the ogress.

"Hey!" before she knew it, she was out her bedroom door calling for the messenger, "Do you know how long this would have taken to get here?"

"Uh," the messenger staggered back into view, "I'm not sure your highness, we didn't see how it got here, it just appeared."

"Oh..." Fiona was paused as the messenger scurried away. She looked down to the note she held in her hand. Who knows how long they had been in trouble, it could have been a couple of hours, or all night. Her children were on that boat, were they okay? She stood, unable to move for moment, she didn't entirely know what to do.

"Fiona?" her mother's voice called from the stairwell, "Darling, are you there?"

"Yeah, mom, I'm here."

Her mother appeared from the floor above, "I thought I heard you, you're up early, what happened?" Fiona watched her mom approach, she looked perfect, considering the early hour. She looked briefly to her own nightdress, she had other priorities.

"I got a note from Shrek, it's bad," she handed her mother the paper, "but they don't know how it got here..."

As if on cue, an old man fell from mid air with a shriek. Shocked, Fiona and her mother jumped back as he landed in a heap on the ground. The ogress looked up at the perfectly intact ceiling, confused. As he gathered himself from the ground, grumbling unintelligibly to himself, she recognised him. Merlin. She had never seen him in person, but the inappropriate robe length, the socks, the sandals, there was no mistaking him from the stories.

"That," the man plucked the note from her mother's hands, "would be my doing." He studied the writing, "Ah good, it got here unchanged. Miracle really," he laughed.

She watched him incredulously as he bumbled around. "Do you know where my family are?"

"Well, he didn't want me to tell you," Merlin took a couple of suspicious steps away from her.

"Shrek didn't want me to know what's going on?"

"Yes, he really didn't. But my daughter and son in law convinced me otherwise, on account of my granddaughter, ah what a cherub she is..."

"I don't care about your family," her voice was flat. She felt the anger begin to set in, her husband was shutting her out again.

"Fiona." her mother chastised her quietly.

She shot a brief irritated glance to her mom before pressing on, "Where are my family?"

"Alright, fine, I'll tell you," he handed her the note and she snatched it from his hand, holding it against her. "Well," he chuckled, "There's good news and there's bad news, hm, now which would you like to hear first?" He blinked at her expectantly.

Fiona paused, taken aback by the wizard's odd mannerisms. "I guess, the good news first?"

"Ah, well, that's a shame because the good news doesn't make any sense without the bad news," he began laughing, "I shouldn't have given you the option really. Goodness, age is catching up with me it seems, three hundred odd years does take its toll... Or was that two hundred years. Ha, I lose count, I..."

"Where are my family?" Fiona demanded, silencing the wizard. Giving a side glance to her mom, though Lillian didn't want to correct her daughter this time, instead she nodded along with the statement.

"Ah yes, sorry," he laughed awkwardly, "Well the bad news is that the ship crashed..." Fiona gasped, interrupting him. He jumped towards her, "No, no, it's alright, your husband and friends weren't on it!"

"Oh," Fiona sighed in relief, shaking her head at the wizard.

"But," Merlin held up a finger, "your children were. They got carried away in a tiny little crate, and bobbed out to sea," he made a little wave motion with his hand, "Bob, bob, bob, just like that."

Fiona had frozen, she almost looked straight through him. The room almost seemed to become mute to her ears, "So they're gone?" she asked quietly, it barely felt like she had spoken. She just about felt her mother's hands rest on her shoulder as her entire body went numb.

"Woah, don't get ahead of yourself there," Merlin grinned at her, "There's still the good news, remember that, hm?"

Fiona felt the sparks of hope ignite within her, "What? They're okay?" She recalled the note she had in her hand. Now she really wanted to punch her husband in the nose. Why would he ever keep something so important from her? She couldn't wait to ask him when he eventually returned.

"You see, they all came to me, explained the unfortunate predicament and I created my famous answer box, I'm sure you've heard of it right?"

"No?" Fiona shook her head, confused.

"Yes!" he continued on with enthusiasm, "Your husband asked where your children were and it showed them. They're on an island, a magical one, everyone's on their way now!"

"They're going to be okay?" Fiona eyes were wide, she wanted to grab the man and shake the answers from him.

"Ahh, hm," the wizard's enthusiasm suddenly dampened, "I guess that does lead us to some more bad news..." he shuffled away from the ogress, "The island is operated by a terrible witch and chances are your husband is going to walk straight into her trap," he took another step back, "So to answer your first question, yes, they're gone."

The overwhelming need to collapse took over Fiona's body, she found the wall with her hand, and shuffled to it, leaning heavily. She could almost feel her whole world crash around her. She couldn't quite catch her breath, eventually taking shallow gulps of air past the giant knot that had just tied itself in her throat. She slid down the wall until she sat. Her glassy eyes trailed around until she found Merlin, "Is there nothing you can do to help?" she asked with a small voice.

"Well," he tapped his head, "I could make a serenity circle, those have helped me deal with a lot of negative emotions, almost nothing gets to me now," he thumped his chest and bewilderedly stumbled backwards.

"No," if she hadn't started trembling, Fiona was sure she would have thrown the old man down the stairs, "Isn't there anything you can do to help get them back?" she watched him, "I can't lose them," her voice was barely a whisper, tears began to fall down her cheeks, she sobbed quietly. Her mother was suddenly right beside her, firmly holding her shoulder. The old man whimpered a little and began mumbling to himself. Fiona looked down to the note she hadn't realised she had crumpled in her hand. I'm going to fix this. She read those words again. But Merlin had said it was a trap. "Wait," she caught the wizard's attention. She seemed to regain some strength as she felt the pulls of anger within her. She stood suddenly, glaring at him. "You said it was a trap, but you were the one who sent them there!" she stabbed an accusatory finger towards him, "Why would you do that? Why would you doom my entire family, rather than thinking up another way? You're supposed to be the wonderful wizard, aren't you?" she scowled, "Clearly not."

"Oh but you misunderstand, Princess," he looked her up and down, frowning, "If that's what you're supposed to be, hm."

"What?"

"They're not completely doomed, I mean," he chucked, past distress forgotten, "I'd be lying if I said there was a one hundred per cent chance of death. There is a chance, a small chance, they'd end up okay... maybe five per cent, perhaps three."

Fiona suddenly stood up straight, ears perking up, "Can you help them?"

"I already have," he stated, "And I am not involving myself any further, that island is where I draw the line," he drew an invisible line with his sandaled foot, pointing at it.

Fiona paused for a second, last time Shrek had met this man, he had teleported them back to Far Far Away. Perhaps he could do something similar to her. She let herself hold onto the hope, it was all she had now. She took a breath, "Send me there." Merlin did a double take at her instruction. "I want to join them, I want to help."

The wizard suddenly laughed, "I don't think you understand how dangerous it is," he wiped at his eyes, "Take me there she says, oh."

"I don't care how dangerous it is, I want to be with them," she demanded, "I know you can do it. Let me join Shrek."

"I guess I could try and send you to him," he put a finger to his chin in contemplation.

She nodded at him in encouragement. If they were walking into a trap and doomed to fail, at least she'd be with them. She knew she'd rather go down with her family than have to spend a lifetime without them.

"Fiona?" her mother's reasoned voice came from behind her, "Are you sure, darling? You're shaking."

"No, mom," she shook away Lillian's hand, "I'm not going to just sit here and wait," she turned to her, looking her in the eye. Lillian stepped back, her lips curling downward. Fiona turned back to Merlin, prompting him once more.

"I'll need to check my things first, I'll get back to you... soon," he wandered away, mumbling to himself unintelligibly.

Fiona began to go after him, but her mother caught her hand, "Fiona, you need to think about this carefully."

Fiona stared incredulously at her mom, "What?" she scoffed, "Just leave them there? They're your grandchildren!"

"And you're my daughter," Lillian firmly replied, "Darling, they have a whole party of people rescuing them-"

"I'm their mother!" Fiona interrupted her, she was almost shouting at her mom, "You want me to just sit around and-and do nothing?" the ogress dropped the breath she took, only for a second before continuing, "I've had my turn at needing to be saved, now it's theirs? Yes?"

"Fiona-"

"I'm sorry, mom, if you can't understand," she lowered her voice, but the bitterness still came through, "I'm not like you, I can't just sit and wait while my children are trapped. I will do anything I can to free them," Fiona then turned away from her mom and began walking back towards her room.

"Fiona, you know that's not the same..." Lillian trailed off into silence.

The ogress paused in the doorway, her anger broke down a little at her mother's silence. She sighed, putting her head in her hands. She shouldn't have said that. She slowly turned back, "I'm sorry." Lillian's face had creased up, but she remained silent. The pair hadn't really discussed anything about her departure to the tower, or any feelings Fiona may have had whilst there. She knew in theory why her parents sent her, she knew that they were tricked, she knew they believed it was for the best. She had believed it too for the most part. But of course she questioned their motives, and there were days in the tower where she hated them more than anything. Fiona had spent countless hours over the years pacing around her room ranting about how unfair the situation was. But it did work out well in the end, after all. So Fiona had always stayed silent, she had never really felt the need to say anything, or let any of that surface. Her mother had apologised several times over the few years they had been reunited, but it had never gone further than that. No more than an apology and returned forgiveness. "All I had ever done, my whole life, was wait. Helplessly wait. And I'm sick of it," Fiona let her voice soften, "I can't tell you how much I've hated waiting these past couple days. My patience was used up in that tower, I can't do it anymore. I need this, mom."

Lillian's face creased up further, for a second Fiona thought she was going to cry. But she didn't. "Okay," her mother nodded. She walked towards her and laid a hand on her cheek, "Darling, I love you, and you know what's best."


AN: This was definitely not supposed to be an entire chapter on its own, but I get too carried away. Fiona's great, she deserves a chapter to herself dammit.