A man will go to war, fight and die for his country. But he won't get a bikini wax.
-Rita Rudner

Chapter 18

As the schools building finally came in to view, Naegi sighed in relief and leaned against the tree to keep her upright. A groan of pain made her turn to see Hinata doing something similar. Naegi sent him a look of pity. She understood his pain, after all she'd gone through the same thing he had just yesterday.

A limping Komaeda made his way over to them and Naegi made room for him to lean on the tree as well. Chiaki followed a few minutes later, she was taking the smallest steps she could to get to school. Hinata reached a hand out and Chiaki took it gratefully to lean on the tree with him.

Soon after, Togami made his way over to them and scowled. "You're all pathetic, it wasn't that bad."

Hinata snorted. "If I remember correctly, you were screaming along with the rest of us," he pointed at Togamis legs and grinned, "I see your legs are shaking. Shall I make room so you can lean on the tree too?"

Togami sent him his fiercest glare and willed his legs to cease their shaking. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Komaeda sent him a small smile and patted the tree he and Naegi were currently using as a crutch. "Now now, don't be like that. You're clearly in pain; why not just lean on the tree? You'll feel a little better."

Before he could say something, a voice spoke up from behind them.

"Because he don't need a tree to support him And neither do I. Only pussies lean on trees for support." As one, they all turned to see Kuzuryu Fuyuhiko being carried bridal style by Peko Pekoyama, who wasn't looking too good herself. In fact, the poor girl was walking with her legs apart and sweating like crazy.

Chiaki frowned. "Poor Pekoyama, she looks so tired. Are you okay Peko?"

Pekoyama gave firm nod even as a beat of sweat ran down her cheek. Her legs were trembling, but compared to the others, she hadn't screamed once. She, Mukuro and Sakura had simply grunted once the process started, Naegi thought they were pretty cool. She and Hinata had cursed quite a bit, in fact so did Kuzuryu and Owada.

Speaking of Owada…he was currently making his way to them, a cane on his hand, Ishimaru and Fujisaki right behind him, both using canes to walk.

Owada took one look at Kuzuryu and snorted. "Only dick heads use girls to give them a ride. You call yourself a man? Stand on your own damn feet," he gave him a cocky grin, "Unless you cant." He challenged.

Kuzuryu smirked. "What no motorcycle today?"

Owada's eye twitched. "Shut it gangster baby!"

Kuzuryu turned red and ordered Pekoyama to put him down. As soon as his feet touched the ground, he crumpled to the floor. Owada let out a bark of laughter and Pekoyama offered to help him up. Kuzuryu refused and simply lay on the floor.

"I can get up on my own!" he barked at her. He tried getting to his feet before he crumpled to the floor once again. Everyone bit their cheeks to stop themselves from laughing. Kuzuryu finally huffed and just lay there. "You're all stupid. It's easier to just crawl."

Togami snorted and made his shaking legs walk over to his girlfriend where he leaned on the tree. His friends sent him an amused smile but he ignored them all.

Hagakure and Touko came crawling a few minutes later followed by Sakura and Asahina, the latter holding into Sakura for support. Maizono and Kirigiri came in later with their arms around each other's shoulders.

Soda and Teruteru came in after, both of them taking one giant step after the other. Tanaka and Mioda nudged them out of the way and followed behind them; if they were in pain they hid it well.

Koizumi, Saionji and Sonia were right behind them. Saionji was cursing every step she took, Koizumi couldn't keep a firm grip on her camera, she was shaking too much. Sonia walked in like a queen, as if she's done this before and wasn't bothered by it in the least. She probably had.

Celestia was being carried bridal style by Yamada who was sweating buckets at the effort. Leon came with his hands in his pockets, Mitarai and Tsumiki looped their arms through his, the Ultimate imposter beside them looking at them in worry. Nidai and Owari lacked their usual high spirits but managed to say hi to everyone as they slowly sat themselves on the floor.

A few other students passed by and stared at them until Kuzuryu and Owada bared their teeth at them.

The students left in a hurry.

"So," Kuzuryu asked, looking around the gathered faces, "Where the hell is she?"

As if summoned, Junko Enoshima came waltzing in and twirled before she waved at her classmates. Everyone glared and Junko pouted. "Touchy aren't we?"

Mukuro walked beside her and surveyed both classes. She didn't blame them for their anger one bit, but she certainly wasn't going to let them hurt her either.

Kuzuryu managed to put himself in a sitting position and let out a low hiss before he turned his blue eyes on Junko's innocent blue. "This is all your fault! Thanks to you, most of us can't walk!"

Junko moved a hand to her mouth as if scandalized. "You guys wanted to make memories, so I picked something we could all do together AND always remember!"

Silence.

It was true.

They had wanted to make memories.

But what Junko had them go through…Naegi shuddered and thought back to yesterday's events.


Naegi and her friends had left her family that Saturday night to catch a flight back to Hope City. There were a lot of hugs given to everyone as they all said their goodbyes before Naegi and her friends boarded the plane home. Mr. Togami had left a few days before them once his secretary called him crying her heart out. Apparently he had not told anyone that he was leaving for a few weeks and his poor secretary had been ready to call the cops before Mr. Togami had finally decided that he'd made her suffer enough.

The sadist.

Byakuya had told him to get his ass back home and after much pouting and glaring from the older man, Mr. Togami had finally given in and boarded a plane within the hour.

Naegi's family had stuffed them with packets of food, souvenirs, and a lot of photos that they had taken over the past few days. Kazuma kept hovering over his oldest daughter all day, saying that it wasn't fair that they were being separated again. Yukiko had pulled him away by his ear but gave her daughter and her friends another goodbye hug.

Komaeda and Hinata stiffened and moved behind Togami when she let go. It seems Yukiko and Komaru had made good on their promise to do both of their hairs. Both of them had made the mistake of not locking their door one particular night, and both women had snuck into their rooms to braid their hair and do their make-up.

Naegi smiled at the memory, that morning she and everyone else had woken up to the two of them screaming. Everyone had rushed out to the living room with bats and bases as weapons only to burst out laughing once they got a good look at them.

Hinata's hair couldn't be braided, so they had put little bows and clips on it. They had put on mascara and eyeliner on him and a whole lot of blush. Komaeda's hair looked like he had dreadlocks and there were pink and purple bows on each little braid. They had put a little too much eyeliner on him, thus making his eyes stand out. His already pale skin looked paler than usual, but they had added a pinkish blush to his cheeks. In one of his cheeks someone, Komaru probably, had drawn the whole family as stick figures all smiling.

Naegi and her father had crumpled to the floor holding their stomachs as they laughed. Yukiko and Komaru wiped a tear from their eyes as they looked proudly at their work. Osamu had barked in laughter and taken out the camera to snap pictures and Byakuya was facing the wall trying to hold in his own laughter. It wasn't working too well, judging by the muffled laughter that could be heard.

Chiaki was trying to take a picture of them both but she was shaking and laughing too much to take a proper one.

Ever since that day, Hinata and Komaeda had locked their doors and just to be safe, they put a chair under the doorknob.


After giving a few more hugs to her family, Naegi and her friends finally boarded the plane. Togami had refused to ride coach and had upgraded their tickets to first class, which was good because Komaeda was able to freak out in privacy with his friends.

Naegi sat next to him again, and as he held her hand in his tight grip, Togami placed Naegi's headphones over Komaeda's ears before he took a seat on his right. Hinata and Chiaki placed a blanket on Komaeda and took a seat across from them.

Thankfully, Komaeda fell asleep soon after thanks to the music in his ears and his friends relaxed. The flight home went much quicker with Komaeda asleep.

When they finally landed that Sunday morning, various people in coats all carrying luggage passed them by. In the distance, children shrieked with laughter. As they maneuvered through the crowd to the waiting car, they were surprised to see Junko Enoshima and her sister Mukuro Ikusaba waiting for them by the limo with Hideki looking uncomfortable.

Togami walked ahead and crossed his arms. "The hell do you want Enoshima? Its too early for me to deal with you."

Junko simply stuck her tongue out at him before hopping off the limos hood. "Since we're all going back to school tomorrow, I thought we could all do one last thing together to ends things with a blast," Mukuro opened the side door and Junko climbed in, "So get in already! Everyone else is already on their way there!"

Hinata threw his bags inside and hopped in. "Fuck it, I don't care. Let's just go already geez."

The others simply shrugged and stepped inside, Togami was still frowning at them. Naegi reached her hand out and after sighing; he took her hand in his and stepped inside. Junko beamed and as soon as Mukuro stepped inside, they were on their way.

About thirty minutes later, the car finally stopped and after Junko practically slapped them to get them awake, everyone got out of the car only to see the rest of the 77th and 78th class waiting. They'd arrived at a spa building. It looked pretty nice; it was made out of wood. It looked homey.

Hagakure and Soda got to their feet. "There's gonna be food here right?"

Touko rolled her eyes. "It's a frickin spa! They probably don't you idiot!"

Owari bounced to her feet. "So there will be food right? I'm hungry!"

Kuzuryu rolled his eyes from where he was leaning on a tree. "Why are we even at a spa?"

Junko rolled her eyes and made her way to the entrance. "To get that stick out of your ass. You need to relax."

Kuzuryu gritted his teeth but made his way to the entrance as well. As soon as they all stepped inside, a petite woman approached them with a smile. The woman gripped Junko's hand and sent her a broad smile, "Ms. Enoshima. It's so nice to see you again. You're here for your appointment right?"

At Junko's nod, the woman beamed and started leading them to a room. "You requested everything on the menu for you and your friends correct? We're all ready for you, if you'd all step inside you can leave your clothes in the lockers provided and we'll see you soon."


Both classes split up by genders and went to their designated rooms where they all stripped and changed into white robes. Some of the guys were grumbling but they changed anyway. Some of the girls were actually excited; even Kirigiri looked a bit intrigued.

When everyone came out he petite woman, Natasha led them to a room with flowers on every table. The place smelled of perfume and some of the guys fidgeted in their feet. Some women passed by with hands full of nail polish and some kind of green goo. Togami, Kuzuryu, Owada and Hinata immediately turned around only to be dragged back in by the scruff of their necks.

They immediately began to struggle and Junko stomped her feet. "You can't just leave!"

Hinata tried to get out of Chiaki's grip. "I'm not getting my nails done! I'd like to keep my manhood in tact thank you very much!"

Owada was trying to get out of Ishimaru and Fujisaki's grip. "I've seen that green goo before! I don't need a facial!"

Pekoyama refused to let go of Kuzuryu, despite his orders.

Naegi and Komaeda pulled Togami by his hands and made him stay.

Asahina and Maizono put their hands on their hips. "It'll be fun guys! Come on!"

Leon and Yamada didn't look convinced.

Nidai scratched his head. "Come on guys, let's just get this over with. We can try the sauna instead."

Mitarai mumbled something.

Hagakure slapped him on the back. "Speak up man!"

Mitarai took a deep breath and yelled, "I want to get a massage!"

Silence.

Soda and Hagakure wiggled their eyebrows, "I wouldn't mind getting one from a hot lady."

The girls groaned and Junko tipped back her head and laughed. "Just leave it to me! I have the whole day planned! First, we're all getting a massage!"

Natasha led them to two separate rooms and ordered them to strip. The girls did so quite easily and smiled at each other before they placed themselves on their bellies on the table.

The guys on the other hand…

"How come I have to see everyone's junk? I'm not into that shit!" Kuzuryu's voice could be heard from across the hall.

Owada groaned. "Jesus Christ! Just get it over with!"

"Wow! All of you are very impressive indeed!"

Leon and Teruteru shrieked. "Quit it Komaeda! You're making everyone nervous!"

"I'm not letting you anywhere near my junk!" Hagakure and Soda screamed.

There were a few muffled curses before everything went silent.

"I hope they're okay…"Fujisaki mumbled.

Saionji clicked her tongue. "Who cares? I just want to get massaged already."

A few minutes later, men came in to massage the girls. They all let out appreciative groans as the men began to massage every sore muscle they had.

A few pleased groans could be heard from across the hall and the girls inwardly smirked.

Nidai let out a small groan. "Feel free to add more pressure Miriam! I can take it!"

"Oh, god!" Teruteru screamed, "My dear, you have the most amazing hands!"

"Oh yeah, right there," Hinata said while moaning.

Naegi and Fujisaki let out a little groan.

"You better not t-touch anywhere else!" Touko yelled before it turned into a moan. "Oh my god. Nevermind, touch me anywhere!"

"A little more to the left," Sonia instructed, "Oh yes, right there."

Kirigiri let out a moan. "Has anyone ever told you that you have the most amazing hands?"

Junko gave Mukuro a high five and smiled as she let out another appreciative groan.


After that, the boys stopped their protests altogether and let themselves be led to the other areas of the spa. Komaeda in particular enjoyed the facemask that they put on him and the girls giggled. As soon as the women began to do their nails, the guys started protesting.

They only stopped when the girls sent them their fiercest glares. Naegi had insisted that Hinata wanted his nails to be done in pink. The woman working on him had giggled and complied. Hinata threw her a glare but he secretly thought that it didn't look too bad. Togami sent him a knowing look and he quickly looked away.

The mud bath was everyone's favorite activity by far. A simple curtain had divided the room; Hinata used the opportunity to throw some mud at Naegi who threw it back, which started a mud war.

The war was put to a halt as soon as Teruteru got out of the mud bath in just his birthday suit to go to the girls side. Tsumiki and Koizumi had shrieked and started throwing mud at him. Teruteru persevered and managed to dodge their attacks only to be tackled by Nidai and Komaeda. More shrieks followed after that.

Three hours later, everyone was calm and relaxed and were headed to the last activity on the list before Junko handed them all blindfolds. At everyone's raised eyebrow, Junko simply shrugged and said it was a surprised.

Togami and Kirigiri faces were blank, but their eyes were weary. Assessing. Nonetheless, they put the blindfolds on while they waited for one of the staff to lead them to their destination. Once again, they were split by gender and were told to get on the tables face up. Confused, they obliged.

Junko gave one of the staff members a CD and told them to put it on as soon as they began. The man snickered and gave her a thumps up.

"It's a trap!" a man yelled.

"You'll never take me alive!" another man yelled.

The Ultimate Imposter gulped. "Should we be worried?"

A few of the others guys were starting to wonder the same thing.

Kuzuryu gritted his teeth. "Damn it, can we take of these blindfolds off already?"

"Not yet!" Junko yelled in the room next to them.

The guys yelped in surprise as their hands were restrained to the tables metallic rails. They immediately began to struggle until the blindfolds were finally removed. In front of them a male therapist was holding a strip with something brown on it.

Togami's eyes widened as he immediately recognized the items. Owada and Kuzuryu began to struggle as well.

"Oh hell no! I'm not getting a wax!" Owada screamed.

As soon as the words left his mouth, the rest of the guys began to panic. Some of the guys began to hyperventilate as the therapists began to approach them.

"Hit it!" Junko screamed.

And suddenly, Louis Armstrong's A Wonderful World began to play.

"Holy fuck!" Naegi screamed.

"Motherfucker!"Fujisaki yelled.

I see trees of green, red roses too

Hinata was shaking his head furiously as the man took off the strip and screamed.

I see them bloom, for me and you

Komaeda passed out after the first strip was removed.

And I think to myself

"WAKE THAT FUCKER UP! NO WAY HE GETS A PASS!" Kuzuryu screamed and suddenly cursed.

"OH SWEET JESUS!" Soda cried.

What a wonderful world

"Sweet donuts! Please noooooo!" Asahina screamed.

Sakura, Mukuro, and Pekoyama grunted once.

"YOU BASTARD! I'LL FIND YOU!" Togami cursed as another strip was removed.

I see skies of blue, and clouds of white.

Mitarai was sobbing.

"Get me out of these restraints you bitch! I'll cut you with my scissors!" Genocider Sho screamed; Touko had wisely switched places with her other self.

"I think I'm bleeding! You definitely tore skin! And-" Saionji was cut off as another strip was removed.

The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night.

Owari was laughing. "Bring it on!"

"You damn Neanderthal! Do you have any idea who I am?" Celestia was so angry she was practically foaming at the mouth.

"This is a conspiracy! You're all being fooled!" Hagakure screamed.

Ishimaru and Yamada had tears running down their cheeks.

Naegi must have eaten something weird because everything looked like it was in slow motion. "OH!" she jumped.

"Motherfuck! Holy crap! You bitch, oh you bitch!" Fujisaki screamed.

Naegi blinked slowly, surely she must be dreaming because there was no way sweet Fujisaki would curse like this.

Kirigiri let out a small yelp and clenched her teeth.

I hear babies cry, I watch them grow

Mioda and Junko were laughing through the pain.

"The demons have taken over you my good sir! Wake up! Don't-SWEET KINGS OF DARKNESS!" Tanaka howled.

"Sweet chili peppers! Oh mother who is in heaven…" Teruteru started praying.

"This never happened in video games!" Chiaki screamed.

They'll learn much more, than I'll ever know

"So how is your day going so far?" Sonia Nevermind asked politely. "Oh!" she giggled.

Koizumi and Tsumiki looked at her in shock before their faces contorted in pain and they screamed again.

Nidai laughed. "If you're a man, this is nothing!"

The Ultimate Imposter was trying to close his legs to no avail.

And I think to myself

"FUCK NUGGET!" Hinata cried.

"YOU SON OF A WHORE!" Togami wheezed, "I SWEAR I'LL FIND YOU!"

What a Wonderful World

Yes, I think to myself

"You can feel the despair!" Junko cackled.

What A Wonderful world

Oh Yeah


Junko grinned back in the present and started handing down pictures of yesterdays events before she and Mukuro passed them all and started heading to school. "We should do this again sometime! Let me know when everyone's hair grows back!" she expertly dodged the shoe that Kuzuryu threw at her and laughed and soon disappeared.

Utter silence.

"We're g-going to g-get her back for this, right?" Touko stuttered.

Everyone nodded firmly.

As one they all began to take small steps towards the school.

Naegi focused on her breathing as she clutched Togami's fingers to keep her from losing her footing.

Behind her, Hinata let out a hiss as Chiaki and Komaeda gripped his arms.

Everyone else had found a stick on the way and were using it as a cane to make their way to school.

They paused every now and then to catch their breaths.

And still they went onward.

"Look!" Teruteru pointed. "The school gates!"

Everyone sighed in relief.

"Come on guys!" Nidai encouraged, "We're almost there!"

Energy pulsed through their veins and they hid their groans as they pushed ahead.

As soon as they passed the school gates, everyone's eyes widened as they took the dozen men standing in various places around the school.

"I see you're all here," Jin Kirigiri said as he made his way over to them. He stopped in front of Naegi and Togami's hand tightened around her. "There have been some new security measures added. I'd like you to come to my office so I can explain."