IMPORTANT NOTE!: THIS CHAPTER IS VIOLENT! If you have issues with adult oriented violence, proceed with caution! It's chapters like this that make the rating. Again, proceed with caution!
Chapter Eleven
I didn't even try going back to sleep.
It'd have been pointless anyway, with how anxious I suddenly was, so I took my time brushing my teeth. Considering my loose tooth bugged me a little more today and one poke loosened it considerably with a bit of blood, I knew it wouldn't last another week. If Emmett wasn't here to yank it like I promised he could, I'd kill him.
I made sure to rinse my mouth thoroughly to get rid of the bit of blood that escaped with the loosening of my tooth. I didn't want to take any chances.
I left the bathroom, wandering into the living room to find a cell phone had been left on the table for me. I nodded, picking it up. Even if my family was busy, that didn't mean I couldn't call someone else if I needed to. Out of curiosity, I looked through the names in the contact list.
Every number I'd ever need was saved in there. Every one of the family members, as well as Richard and even Heather.
"Thank you." I mumbled to the empty house, gripping the phone tightly. I'd keep this thing right here until they got back.
I didn't quite know what to do with myself. I had this entire house to myself, and I wasn't that excited like every other kid would be. I missed supervision.
"Oh, stop it." I told myself, suddenly irritated. I used to be alone all the time. I'd survive. I was acting like such a baby. I was nearly eleven years old. They should be able to trust leaving me by myself for a day without me falling to pieces. I could handle this.
I sighed heavily and flopped onto the couch. Staring up at the ceiling and listening to the silence in the house. I missed that sleep I was in when Edward woke me up. It felt like a really long time since I'd gotten sleep like that. I chose to take that as a good sign, the fact that those dreams didn't plague me all night. Yeah, I was exhausted, but there was sleep, and then there was sleep.
Out cold, sleep-through-a-hurricane sleep.
I was also comforted to realize my headache was gone. Like it finally had a chance to rest too, but being so rested made it easy to become restless. That wasn't a good thing to be when I needed to stay put and watch movies. I also noticed that I was now hungry.
I considered getting dressed, in something besides pajamas, but why? Pajama shorts and a t-shirt. I might as well stay comfortable.
I rolled off the couch and made my way to the kitchen and straight into the fridge. I smiled when I noticed that Esme actually had prepared my favorite meal and left it for me to reheat in the microwave. There was plenty for me to sneak a little bit for lunch.
"Yum." I smiled a little as my stomach told me to hurry up. It was loud today.
I dished some out, holding the fork in my mouth as I placed the plate into the microwave. I felt a guilty while it was heating up that I couldn't be this eager to eat before they left.
I ate right there in the kitchen, standing at the counter, not even bothering to sit down. In the silence, I realized I could focus more on everything about me.
I could just barely see the cell phone sitting on the table from where I stood. Heather's number was in there, and so was Richard's. I wondered if I could talk one of them into bringing my friends over.
I was leaning more toward asking Richard, but would he wonder why I was left here alone? I shook my head. I'd only use that number if I really needed it. Heather, I wouldn't call for obvious reasons. Plus she'd probably wonder the same thing.
There went that.
I wasn't dumb enough to try walking there myself. I was told to stay inside, so I would. I had no intention of breaking that rule, but I really wondered if that would change the longer I was here by myself.
I washed my plate as soon as I was done, setting it to the side to dry while I returned to the living room. It was too quiet, so I turned on the TV. That helped a little, especially when I found a movie I didn't really have to pay attention to.
I watched it, but I didn't pay attention to it. My thoughts were wandering. I knew it wasn't a good thing to let them wander the way they were, but with nobody here to distract me, I didn't have much choice. My thoughts did what they wanted.
I didn't really know what my family was facing when it came to the fight, but I knew it was bad enough to worry about. They knew, though, and once again, I needed to trust that they knew what they were doing.
I was genuinely surprised when the day passed uneventfully. Nobody showed up, nothing scared me into hiding underneath a sink. The movies I watched stayed funny and light.
I ate dinner when I was supposed to, more than happy to. If only for something to do, but as night started falling, so did my mood. It wasn't anything new. Whether I was alone or not, something about the night and the dark that came with it triggered that same response I always had.
As night fell, my anxiety grew.
Before it could get too bad, though, the phone rang on the table. Right around the time I usually started considering going to bed. I jumped, having forgotten about it.
I recovered, reaching out and picking it up. It was Carlisle, so of course, I answered it.
"I'm just checking in." He said. "How is everything there?"
"I'm okay." I answered as honestly as I could. "I even ate dinner."
"That's good. I'm glad to hear that." He really sounded relieved.
"I've been staying away from the windows, just like you told me." I went on. "I just miss you guys. How much longer?" I knew Alice had said noon, but I needed some kind of encouragement.
"Alice was able to get more of an idea about when they'll be here." He explained. "Her original time was pretty accurate. Maybe a little earlier."
"So about noon?" I asked, still disappointed.
"Yes." He replied. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay." I sighed. "I'll be okay. Maybe I'll read a book or something." I really didn't want him to be worried about me losing my mind here.
"That sounds like a good idea."
It was quiet for a second while I looked down.
"But there is something I need to discuss with you." He said. "I'd rather have waited, but I'm afraid it can't." I tensed a little, unsure. "Edward told me about your dream."
I took a breath, sighing. I'd been worried that he'd mentioned something else. Though I was a little irritated that he would worry them with that little detail, I was relieved.
"I think it was just a dream."
"I really think you should have told us about that." He scolded gently. "I would have made other arrangements for you. I've asked Heather to check on you in the morning. I told her we had something we needed to take care of, and you elected to stay behind. She'll be there sometime between nine and ten."
"Okay." I replied, and that thought actually relieved me. She now knew I was here by myself, so she knew I was a little vulnerable.
"And I must stress again." He went on. "Every door and every window needs to stay locked. That includes your bedroom window, as I know you like to have it open while you sleep lately. Stay hidden until Heather gets there."
"Okay." I agreed again, sighing. "I feel so stupid."
"Don't." He replied instantly. "This isn't something to take lightly. Don't underestimate him. I want to be sure you're taking every precaution possible."
"I will." I assured him. "I promise."
"Alright." He seemed satisfied with that. "We'll be home as soon as we can. Stay safe, Leandra."
"You too." I mumbled. "Don't worry about me so much."
"We always will." He replied.
As soon as the call was ended, I felt cold again. Carlisle was telling me to take that dream seriously. I couldn't really do that without panicking, but maybe it wouldn't hurt to double-check my window, just to be positive it was locked.
It was, just as Edward had left it.
I slept on the couch that night anyway. It felt safer to me, and I wasn't even tempted to sleep in my room. Oddly, it was easier to wake up after a nightmare, too, because of the unfamiliarity of it.
I was able to go straight back to sleep, though. It wasn't a lasting one, and damn sure not as real as the one I'd had the other night. Even if this one had been a memory.
The house was quiet, so I was positive I'd hear anything I needed to hear should anything come up. Nothing ever did.
I woke up really early, but sleeping in again was out of the question. I knew I was only a few hours away from safety, and Heather would come over even before that.
I was restless, though. Literally pacing through the house, and that feeling got worse the closer it got to ten o'clock. I just needed her to show up and distract me for a minute. I nibbled on some toast for breakfast, but that was about it.
I wondered how my family was doing. I wasn't surprised when I didn't get a morning call, as I knew they needed to focus completely on what they were doing. I wasn't upset about that.
I came out of my thoughts at the sound of a knock on the door. I glanced out the window, spotting Heather's car sitting in the drive. 9:45. She was here almost a little late, but I was just glad she was here with the way I was feeling.
I didn't bother looking up at the door until I was just a few feet away. Sliding to a stop at who I saw there instead. Jack clearly saw me, but I froze. He rolled his eyes and gestured that I come let him in. He didn't seem mad, or even upset. I saw nothing of the anger in his eyes that I'd revisited every moment I slept.
He seemed calm, which was the only reason I even bothered to get closer.
"What?" I asked through the door. He gave me a look, and I sighed. He probably couldn't hear me through the door. The glass was thick enough. I shook my head. Though I was curious at how brave he was, I wasn't stupid enough to open that door.
It was so strange, looking at him just on the other side of the door, unable to reach me. He seemed almost normal.
He gestured at the door again, but again, I shook my head. I looked behind him. He must have taken Heather's car. Probably in hopes of tricking me, and it nearly worked. How did he even know she was supposed to be here? It had to be another coincidence.
I barely heard his voice when he spoke loudly.
"I'm not leaving here until you open the door." He said, and I thought. What would happen if my family got back to find him here? Even just standing here while I was inside would probably push Emmett to react. Again, I didn't want to be the reason he died. I hesitated for several seconds.
"I'll behave." He added, holding his hands up innocently. "I'm not here for you." There was just enough annoyance in his voice that made me believe him, but not enough to tell me he was pissed. I picked up on things like that.
Knowing I was going to regret this, I braced my foot against the bottom of the door and pulled it open just a little.
"What?" I repeated. Looking up at him leaning on the outside of the door frame.
"Your parents home?" He asked casually. He said the word like he was mocking it. "I just want a word with them."
I swallowed in nervousness, debating. Maybe if he knew they were coming back, he'd stop bothering me, and he actually wouldn't cross any lines.
"Not right now, but they're on their way." I mumbled. "Should be here any minute."
"Great." He smiled. "I'll wait." Crap. He called my bluff.
"That's probably not a good idea." I said. "Why don't you just come back some other time?"
"Well, I would, but it's pretty important.. So.." With no regard to my attempts to block the door, he shoved it open effortlessly, smiling down at me as he stepped passed me and into the house. My heart pounded, but I took a deep breath, closing the door.
Okay, maybe I was stupid enough to open the door.
"That was pretty rude." I commented, slowly trailing after him. I hated seeing him here. It bothered me deeply, especially considering I was here alone. I narrowed my eyes at the floor, forcefully reminded of the dream I had. It was starting to scare me.
"Nice place." He nodded, looking around.
"Yeah." I said. "Look, if they see you here when they get back-"
"Chill out." He said. "I'm just here to talk." He paused, slowly moving further into the room, still looking around.
"You tried to kill me, remember? I don't trust you. How am I gonna chill out?" He sighed, rolling his eyes. He lifted his jacket, turning in a slow circle. Proving he was unarmed.
"Search me." He said. "I don't have anything." When I didn't move, his eyes landed on me again. "Jumpy." I didn't see anything worrisome. "Besides. You let me in, remember?"
"I didn't-"
"Tell me about them."
I sighed, but let it go for now. "Well.." I muttered, moving until I had the chair between him and I. Just in case. "They're protective of me. Very protective."
"I see." He said. "I'm sure they know what I did to you."
"Yeah." I said incredulously. "And that's why they're protective of me, and every single one of them wanna kill you." He smirked as if that was amusing. "I'm serious."
"Why?" He chuckled. "For you?" I saw where he was going with that, so I didn't reply. "You must be one hell of an actress." I didn't feel like playing along.
He was quiet for several seconds, slowly pacing around the room. I kept my eyes on him. I could only hope he stayed this calm the entire time I was here with him alone. However long that was.
"What else?" He asked. "I don't know much about this family taking care of my property."
"I'm not yours anymore, Jack." I reminded him quietly. "I don't belong to you."
"You'll always be mine." He smiled, and I didn't like that. "It doesn't matter to me who owns you. You'll always be mine."
"They don't own me." I corrected. He chuckled, but was otherwise quiet. "I really think you should go. I won't tell them you were here, so if you just leave, and come back tomorrow or something-"
"Come on. What's the rush? They'll be back soon, right?"
I glanced to the clock. Not much time had passed. 9:55. I didn't know how far away they were or how busy they were, but I had about two hours to figure out what to do. The fact was I couldn't make him leave. If he wanted to stay, he'd stay. Maybe I could just keep him calm. Just until either my family got there, or Heather found a way here. Heather was closer.
"Right." I murmured anyway.
"Then there's no problem." He smiled again. "So what else can you tell me?"
"Why do you want to know?" I finally asked. I was getting irritated, unable to really tell what he was planning. He finally chuckled again. He knew he was getting to me.
"Just go." I mumbled. "And give Heather her car back."
"She has another one she can use." He replied. "Granted, it's at home and she's stuck at work, but.." He smirked. "So I'm curious. Why are you here, instead of with your mom?"
"She gave up her rights to me." I replied. "So did my dad."
He scoffed a little. "So she really didn't want you."
"It wasn't like that." I muttered.
"I've been telling you your whole life that she didn't want you." He pointed out. "Even with the proof all around you, you still don't believe me." He paused for a few seconds, looking around. "Well, where can I find her?"
"I don't know." I replied honestly. "She's never told me where she is."
"I'll find her." He nodded confidently.
"Why?" I frowned.
"She got away from me too." He reminded me. "I told her what would happen if she ever left. Just like I told you." I fidgeted nervously, looking down.
"I didn't know what would happen." I mumbled. "I mean.. I didn't know they'd.. Do what they did to you. I just thought.. I mean.. I wasn't trying to ruin your life, but I just wanted to stop hurting so bad."
"I went a little overboard." He admitted. "But that doesn't mean you didn't fucking deserve it."
"Why do you hate me so much?" I finally asked, and he seemed slightly surprised I'd ask that. He didn't answer right away. "What have I ever done? I wasn't born to ruin your life. I didn't ask for you to marry my mom."
"No you didn't." He replied, sitting down in the chair closest to him with a sigh. "You were two years old. Completely innocent, but I saw something in you I wanted. Your mom was just in the way of that, but I always get what I want. I make a way."
That was a surprising answer. I never expected to hear that much honesty, so I sat down too.
"It wasn't like I could just kidnap you." He went on. "That would have been stupid, even though I know Gina wouldn't have been able to stop me."
"What was it you saw?" I asked quietly.
"You were perfect." He said. "The perfect modelling clay, and the perfect pawn. I could turn you into anything I wanted, but I needed to marry your mom first before I could do anything. She needed to be backed into a corner. It didn't take very long at all because she fell for it out of pure desperation."
"Why me?"
"Like I said." He replied. "You were perfect, and the situation couldn't have been more perfect either. Young woman in a crumbling marriage, with a toddler to boot. I chose you the second I met you, and I'm a very ambitious person. I take what I want. All I had to do was turn her against you. Just enough to become the hero. I'm pretty good with kids."
"So.. For fun?"
"In a way." He allowed. "It wasn't like I wanted to just go make a kid of my own. I didn't want that either. I didn't have that much patience. No. You were my target, and I wasn't letting you go. I'm still not letting you go. I've put too much work into you to do that."
He was quiet, not bothering to continue. I sighed again, shaking my head.
I now understood what Jasper was trying to tell me awhile back. I was looking at what happened when someone let the hate they felt take over their life. If I didn't let it go, I would turn into Jack. I had to let it go.
"I forgive you." He looked to me, even more surprised, before he smirked. "Not for you. For me. I really hope you die someday, Jack, but I forgive you. I won't hate you anymore. Not after today."
"All the times you beat me for no reason.. It's because you hate yourself." I continued, and he wasn't laughing anymore. "Someone taught you to hate. You tried to do the same thing to me, but I'm not yours anymore, Jack."
This was the longest I'd ever had a chance to speak to him without him hitting me or interrupting me. I knew he was listening, so I continued.
"I forgive you, Jack, because my family is teaching me how to. They're teaching me how to be good. Not how to hate like you. They care about me."
He actually started laughing at that statement. I stood back up.
"They don't care about you." He laughed, standing up as well. "What a fucking joke. They care about the tax break. Or.. You just haven't been completely honest with them about what you are." I sensed his mood was darkening. His voice reflected that, and I backed up a step in response. "You haven't told them, have you?"
"Stop it." I muttered quietly, looking down. "I'm putting it behind me. You-"
"You haven't told them because you know what'll happen." He shut me up. "There's a reason why I'm the only one who'll ever want you. The second they find out about what you did and what kind of person you are, this little set up you've got going on here will be fucking history. They're not going to want someone like you dragging their name through the mud. Exactly like you've been doing."
"I'm still learning." I replied defensively. "At least I still can. It's not my fault you're a lost cause."
It was quiet for a minute, and I waited for him to get mad, like he usually did. He didn't. That gave me so much false confidence I probably shouldn't have let get to me. I should have shut up.
"If the way you treated me was the way you were treated as a kid, then I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't want to see you anymore. I'm done with you. I'm letting it go."
He was quiet for a second before he nodded. "Fair enough."
"You're not mad?" I asked nervously.
"Why would I be?" He asked. "I don't give a fuck what lies you're telling yourself. It just means that my job isn't done."
"It's not a lie, Jack." I replied, and his jaw clenched a little before he smiled again.
He held his hand out to me as he stepped closer. "I'll be on my way then." I could only hope, but I knew he wasn't going anywhere unless I shook his hand. "No hard feelings here. If you really forgive me, that is."
Hesitantly, I stepped forward, and stupidly, I gave him my hand. He was quick, I had to give him that.
Jerking me forward, he grabbed my neck in both strong hands, near my head, and lifted me off the floor. All I had time for was a whimper before I was suddenly spun around and slammed back into the brick of the fireplace. The second I felt that pain, I knew he'd snapped.
Defiance was one sure way to piss him off. Telling him he was wrong was another. I hadn't even realized what I was doing while I told him those things.
Holding me tight, and up off my feet. He shook me so hard, my head spun a little.
"You forgive me?" He growled through clenched teeth, shaking me roughly. "Huh? You forgive me?" I kept my teeth clenched. I kept my gaze on his. Refusing to let him know I was afraid, but I knew for a fact he saw it.
"Let's get one thing straight right now." His voice quieted. "You'll never fucking talk to me like that again." It wasn't an option. "I don't care what kind of shit they're filling your head with, but that ends now."
I couldn't breathe. My back hurt enough to steal my breath, but I had no choice but to pay attention.
"You forgive me?" Jack shook me harder before lifting me higher, turning and literally throwing me to the floor. I landed half on my side, half on my knees, looking up at him as I scrambled used the end of the couch to pull myself to my feet. "You ruined my fucking life, you filthy little bitch."
I knew instantly that I needed to get away from him. I'd pissed him off with my attempt at bravery. I could see that in his eyes, and I knew it, but I also knew it wouldn't be a good idea to make it obvious.
I stood there, unsure as he closed in slowly. "I made you a promise, and I fully intend to keep it. I treated you the way I treated you because that's how little bitches like you deserve to be treated. You're not going to let it go. You know why? Because that hate is in you, little girl, and it'll always be there. I know, because I put it there myself. That was almost a very convincing speech, but I'm not fucking buying it."
Don't keep talking back. Don't piss him off anymore.
"I'm sorry." I mumbled in a whimper, sitting down as he neared. Bringing my hand up in an effort to shield any hits he might decide to give me.
Not surprisingly, that seemed to help.
"Okay." He growled. "You might get away with that opinionated bullshit around here, but I fucking dare you to try that with me again. Next time, I won't be so damn nice, so think twice about being a smart-ass."
Really thinking about it, that was him being nice. I knew him and his personality better than anyone, and that was his nice.
He was about to leave, probably for my own safety, since I technically really didn't belong to him and he at least had to keep that in mind. He was just about to leave, when we both heard the front door open and he froze.
"Leandra?" It was Heather, and she was worried. Her voice carried far.
I tensed, my eyes on Jack. He paused for a second, glancing at me before forcing a humorless laugh.
"Look who made it to the fucking party." Jack called out, clearly still agitated.
"She was supposed to come over." I explained quietly, trying to calm him down. "Even before you showed up."
"No shit." Jack snapped, and I looked down.
"Leandra." I looked over as Heather entered the room. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay. It's not your fault."
"Are you okay?"
"I left the bitch alive if that's what you're asking." Jack snapped at her now.
"I'm okay." I replied anyway, glancing nervously at Jack. I'd be even better if she got him to leave.
"I'm getting sick of you getting in the way, Heather." Jack went on at her.
"Too bad." She snapped in reply. "You need to leave. Right now."
"Watch the fucking tone." He countered.
Heather gestured to me. "Leandra, honey.. Come with me." I immediately jumped up, more than ready to take her direction. Before I could take more than one step, though, Jack took a step to the side, blocking my way.
I stopped mid-step, looking up at him, but he was looking right at Heather. They were in the middle of a rather intense staring match, as if they were having a silent conversation.
"That's not a good idea." Jack finally told her, probably me as well. I'd never seen that look on her face before. Then again, I'd never seen them both in the same room at the same time.
"Leandra. Let's go." She gestured me forward again, but I was unsure about moving this time. All I wanted was for him to stay calm. "Let's go."
The tension was thick, but as badly as I wanted to just run toward her, I had to think about myself too.
"I told you." Jack replied to her. "I don't want this bitch around them. Ever." Them, probably meaning Josh and Zack.
"Good thing you don't have a damn say." Heather replied firmly. "I told you what would happen if you ever bothered her again." Her tone was still firm. "Leandra."
I took a breath and moved to the side. Attempting to step around Jack, but before I could, he caught the side of my neck in his hand. I yelped as he quickly pulled me back to him, sliding his hand around and gripping the front of my neck tightly.
Heather started toward us quickly.
"See." He reached into his pocket, stopping Heather's advance immediately as he pulled out a folded knife. The sound of it clicking open made me jump roughly and sob once in fear. "You really should care."
I stood tense, locked in place.
Her voice was a warning now. "Jack."
"What?" He barked. "What are you going to do about it? Get the fuck out of here before I do something you regret."
It really seemed like she didn't know what to do.
"You wouldn't." She finally glared.
"Watch me." Was his firm reply. "I don't give a fuck what kind of claim you think you have to this little bitch, but she's mine. You've been warned to stay away from her, but you just don't listen." I tensed even more as he pressed the very tip of the knife against my neck between his fingers. "I can put an end to that right now."
"You've lost your damn mind." She snapped. "Let her go. Right now."
"Nah." He replied. "I think I'll just.." He tightened his hold around my neck, forcing me back against him. My whimper was cut short as he squeezed, and I immediately reached up, trying to pry his hand loose.
"Jack." She was warning him now.
"Get the fuck out!" Even unable to breathe, I flinched at his shout.
"Not without her." She countered firmly.
"Stupid choice." He replied evenly. I squeezed my eyes shut as he looked at me, pressing the knife tip just a little harder to my neck.
I cried out as the hand he was holding the knife with was suddenly jerked away, but not before adding a bit more pressure to it. I felt my skin give just enough. I flinched, sobbing loudly as Jack quickly threw me to the side and bolted forward.
I hit the floor, rolling to my knees and nervously watching as Jack caught a hold of Heather. I didn't want to see anything happen to her, so I did the only thing I could think of. I jumped up, and sprinted right for my room.
I squeaked in fear as I heard him following me. He couldn't resist.
I listened to him clearly following me, and I choked, whimpering loudly. He was faster, his arm circling me. Just outside my bedroom door. My fingers barely managed to touch the knob before I'd been lifted off my feet. The door next to me was thrown open and Jack dragged me into my room.
Slamming the door right in Heather's face and locking it.
He lifted me off my feet by my neck, pressing me painfully against the wall beside the door. Heather was trying her hardest to get in, but it wasn't working that well.
Jack chuckled, ignoring her. One hand holding me up by the neck, and the other reached up, covering my mouth and pinning my head back against the wall. He stood closer to me now, so it was nearly impossible to do much of anything. Not to mention, I couldn't breathe.
"Scary, isn't it?" He chuckled, and I opened my eyes. "Your heart pounding, your head spinning.. That's called suffocating, sweetheart, and that's what you're doing right now."
I gave a sudden hard twist, and he lost his grip. I reached for the knob, but didn't get it in time. He laid a rough slap against my face, sending me to the floor. I fought back to my hands and knees, ignoring the slight dizziness.
I whimpered, trying to crawl away. I tasted the blood in my mouth, but I immediately noticed that my tooth had fallen out. I spit it out, surprised by the blood that followed. It really didn't feel like he'd hit me that hard.
I looked down at the carpet for a second, watching blood hit the pale carpet, and I knew my nose was bleeding as well. I immediately reached up, covering my blood. I didn't want it to get everywhere.
He stood there for a few seconds, watching me, and now we both clearly heard Heather's attempts to get the door open.
"What do you think?" Jack asked me quietly, chuckling. "Should we really give her a reason to worry?"
I fought to my feet, and ran toward my window. He followed easily, jerking me away from it before I could even get the lock open.
I was dropped onto my bed, and he kneeled over me, pinning me roughly. My wrists pinned beside my head. My legs were useless, and I lost my breath under his weight. He sat on my hips, making it impossible for me to raise my legs very high. I didn't know what to do. The throbbing pain in my nose and mouth was making it hard to focus on anything besides crying.
I'd probably never forget the sound of his growling chuckle.
One of his hands found my neck again, holding me still, and though I clawed at him this time, it didn't phase him. I knew he saw my blood, but that only seemed to make him even more determined.
He leaned down, letting me breathe and pressing his forehead against mine. Though I could breathe for now, I knew that would soon end. I turned my head as much as I could, if only to get a breath away from him. He was suffocating me with his presence. It was something he loved to do.
"Let's get one thing straight." He murmured to me, ignoring the weak struggle I gave. "If you're not mine, you're not anybody's." I opened my eyes, looking up at him. "Nobody is going to tell me I can't have you. Not my fucking sister, and for damn sure not some piece of shit family that took in my trash. Do you understand me?"
That seemed to get through to me. I felt those words like they were physical hits, and I was even surprised when they pissed me off. I was used to the things he said about me, but when he talked about my family like that, I felt defensive. Even toward him.
"They're better than you." I snapped through tears. He pushed up enough to look at me. He paused for a few seconds, studying me.
"Did you really just say that?" He sounded incredulous. "Are you that fucking stupid?" He forced a laugh. "Fucking really?"
I fought to catch my breath.
"Do you not see me?" He continued. "Am I not making an impression on that empty fucking head of yours? I'm right here, and where the fuck are they?"
I didn't know how to answer that. I could only glare at him. Heather's attempts at the door stopped, but I barely noticed that.
He sighed, lowering back down over me. Right back to suffocating me. I felt like just his weight would suffocate me if his hand didn't.
"I want you to listen to me." He growled, squeezing my neck again. "Life is so fucking short. Can you imagine that? Being alive one minute, and then someone like me comes along, and.. Poof. Suddenly it's over. That is exactly why you shouldn't waste your time pretending someone actually fucking cares about you."
I jumped at the sound of Heather returning. Except this time, it was louder as she completely knocked the door knob off the door with something heavy. One more hit knocked the door open.
She must have been more focused on getting into the room than she was about getting help, and her determination showed.
"Don't you move a goddamn inch." Jack growled against the side of my face, pushing himself up as Heather made it into the room. I bounced as he climbed off the bed to face her, hardly daring to move. She was pissed too it seemed, because she wasn't trying to talk.
I couldn't help it. Sitting up and preparing to run again as I watched him easily overpower her. He had yet to hit her, but I could sense it coming. I'd seen it enough times to know.
He backed her right up against the wall, and I looked over as he took a firm hold of her hair next, the knife now at her neck. The open door was just right there. Why didn't she run away as soon as she could?
"You won't hurt me." She told him, but even I heard the way her voice wavered.
She looked right passed him, and right at me. I understood exactly what she was telling me, but I couldn't move. I was way too scared, terrified as I watched her right back.
"What do you think, little sister?" Jack sneered. "Huh? Are you gonna be the brave one? Are you going to save that worthless little whore?" He pointed back at me with the knife.
"I'll always save her." Heather countered firmly. "Every time, because she's not worthless. This has gone far enough." She was still trying to be brave, but I could tell his grip was hurting her. "I don't want to hurt you."
He laughed.
"Right." He snorted. "Like-"
He cut off with a loud grunt as she clearly punched him in the stomach, and he immediately released her. She punched him in the face and scooted away from him before he'd even finished doubling over. She leaned down as quickly as she could, taking the knife from his hand. She then sprinted right for me, and I felt every ounce of her fear, on top of my own, the second I looked into her eyes.
I'd never seen anyone this scared. Including my own mom, and I responded to that now by stupidly freezing up.
"Baby." She whispered. "Come on." I was stuck. I didn't know how to move. I knew exactly what she was telling me to do. She needed help, she needed me to run with her, but I literally couldn't move. My terrified trembling the only part of me that moved, along with my shallow, panicked breathing.
I'd never been this scared in my entire life. No dream or nightmare could come close. Every other experience paled in comparison. I was too scared to move. Instead of waiting, she glanced back to see Jack shaking off her hit, and pulled me off the bed herself before she rounded to face him.
She faced him, knowing as well as I did that running wouldn't get us very far.
"Now you listen to me." I'd never heard that tone come out of anyone before. Heather's voice was so firm, it trembled. Not with fear, but with anger. "I'm done. This is not a negotiation. You have about three seconds to get out of here before they'll need to identify you by dental records. I swear to God, Jack. I'm done. I told you once. If you ever lay a finger on her again.."
He smirked, chuckling.
"It's just like you to toss empty threats." He replied easily.
"It's just like you to ignore my threats, Jack." She countered. "Get out. While you still can." He only laughed again.
"Really." He said. "What are you going to do? We both know you're the weaker one of us."
"Am I?" She asked pointedly. "I have a life, Jack. I made something of myself. What do you have? Nothing. Nothing but the fact that dad still owns you."
"You shut the fuck up." He wasn't laughing anymore. Both her arms were behind her, holding onto me, and she moved us a step to the side. Toward the door.
"I tried to help you." She went on anyway. "I begged you before I left home to get yourself straight. Now look at you. You know what doing this will do. You're not escaping this time."
"As you say, what the fuck do I have to lose?" He asked. "I could kill you both and die happy."
"You wouldn't do that." She replied, way more confident than I could be. "You're nothing but talk."
I whimpered, and she squeezed me gently. Taking another side step toward the door.
"I want that bitch behind you." He was losing his patience, and I could tell now that he was beyond reason. If I knew it, Heather had to know it too.
"Too bad." She snapped back. She let me go, giving me a nudge. I got the hint, and finally remembered how to run. I bolted the rest of the way to the door, running faster as I heard him try to follow me but Heather stopped him.
I was beyond terrified. Just enough beyond terrified not to feel it now that my mind remembered how to make me move. I was running on pure adrenaline at this point, it was amazing I hadn't passed out yet with the way panic kept my throat closed.
I couldn't do that, though. Where was my fight? The same one that had helped get him released in the first place. I needed to find that. It was the only language he spoke. A language he didn't even know I knew.
I stopped. Just thinking about it like that sort of changed the way things made sense in my mind. Everything shifted back, and something new came through.
I considered possible weapons, the possibilities scrolling through my head before I could even stop on one. I'd stopped in the middle of the living room and looked around me desperately as I heard the sound of a loud slap and a thud.
Somehow, I knew to look up.
I caught sight of a baseball bat, the same one Emmett wielded that day, just sitting up on a high shelf. As quickly as I could, I dragged a chair over and climbed up onto it.
"Leandra." Jack called from my bedroom doorway, and I figured out that Heather was unable to help me now. I clenched my teeth, biting back the panic until my hand closed around the handle of the bat. I dragged it to me, leaping off the chair and heading for the stairs.
The drying blood on my face was starting to bug, but I just wiped it with the back of my hand. Ducking into the linen closet and closing the door silently behind me.
My entire body was tense, but I was ready. Forcing my breathing to slow down, but keeping it quiet. I heard every one of his slow steps up the stairs, trembling as my heart pounded painfully. Blinking tears from my eyes in an effort to steel myself.
I couldn't let my fear make it easy for him to finish what he started. I just needed to stall. Just long enough for my family to get home.
"Leandra." He called again, and I realized he was further than I thought he was. He was in the hall, passed the door I hid behind. "You're just making it harder on yourself."
Fuck you, I thought, I'm making it harder on you. Which was exactly what I was intending to do. A determination I'd never felt burned in my stomach, thawing me out just enough to push me out of that closet. I peered around the door to find him just walking into the bathroom across the hall.
I sprung across the hall on my tip-toes, moving silently and parking myself right outside the door. I had to time this just right, or I'd miss and only piss him off. He wasn't allowed to just show up and take everything from me. Not anymore. It wasn't my fault.
It wasn't my fault.
It was his.
I tensed hard and swung the bat as hard as I could in the direction of his head right as I saw his reflection in the mirror, coming back out. It wasn't high enough, and I only hit his shoulder, but it was enough to send the knife out of his hand and rolling away.
He ducked away, reaching for me with his other hand right as I swung again, and missed again. I was pissed now, accidentally dropping the bat. He managed an angry grip on my shirt, jerking me violently forward. I immediately lost my balance, landing against him.
Once I felt his arms close around me, I lost it. I dropped down, breaking his hold easily since he wasn't expecting that and he lost balance for a second. I reached out, laying a solid scratching slap against his face, digging my nails in as hard as I could. Through a shout of pain, he reached for me again, but again, I dropped. Rolling away, and scrambling back across the hall.
Of course, he followed me.
I slammed my back against the wall, bracing myself tensely right as he reached me, but before he could get a good grip on me, I brought my foot up. Aiming for his knee, but where I hit was a lot more significant. Right between his legs.
He dropped immediately with a loud, drawn-out growl of pain, but I wasn't done.
I kicked him like he used to kick me. I knew I wasn't doing nearly as much damage to him as he had done to me, but it didn't hurt to try. One kick landed right in his face, but it seemed like all that did was piss him off.
He caught hold of my ankle, jerking me off my feet. I landed hard on my butt, and he turned his head to deflect my hard-as-I-could punches as he crawled over me. He gripped my neck, and slammed me down. My head landed hard against the floor, and that was all it took to still me.
I must have blacked out for a second, because the very next thing I knew, he was now standing over me. He was sort of bent over, catching his breath and for the first time, I saw pain in his grimace, but he now had the bat.
Despite my dizziness, I saw the damage I'd done to him in such a short amount of time. The scratches across the left side of his face were trailing blood down the side of his neck, and his nose bled quite a bit more now.
I felt so bad for causing blood-shed in their house, but Jack had started it. I was pretty sure they'd understand.
He shook out his arm a little in pain as he stood upright, and as hard as I tried, I couldn't focus.
"Oh, you.." He chuckled, still out of breath, reaching down and picking up the discarded knife. He used the end of the bat to turn my head back up to look at him. "I underestimated you. You just keep surprising me, so I guess I need to try harder."
I laid there, fighting to catch my own breath. Sobbing, struggling to accept defeat as he reached down and took a hold of my hair. He dragged me toward the stairs on my back while I held onto his wrist.
"One day, you'll fucking learn not to fucking run from me." He was mad now, and I knew it as he dropped me, squatting next to me. He gripped my neck with my head hanging over the top step. Whatever was coming was going to hurt.
I hung on desperately to his wrist, really not wanting to fall.
"You gonna behave?" He barked, and I nodded immediately. "What do you say? Do you still forgive me?" I just sobbed. No. I hated him. So much more than I ever had before. "I didn't fucking think so."
He hauled me to my feet, forcing me along with him down the stairs.
I glanced at the clock on the way passed it. 10:37. I wasn't done stalling, but I didn't have enough energy to keep it up much longer.
The phone on the table started ringing. My focus was taken by it, and so was Jack's. He stopped long enough to pick it up and look at it. From my position, I could just see Esme's name on it before Jack chuckled.
He answered it. "She's busy."
Throwing the phone across the room, it shattered against the wall before he continued on. He returned us both to my room.
"I don't expect to make it out of here free." He told me in a conversational tone. "But I only need five minutes."
He threw me right back onto my bed. I immediately flipped over onto my hands and knees, attempting to scramble away, but he was faster. He grabbed the back of my shirt, pulling me back and flipping me back over.
Defeated, I could only lay there. Squeezing my eyes shut and turning my head, hating the way my mind spun. I felt the bed shift as he got closer, and I felt his hand slowly grip my neck.
"I told you I'm taking every single second of the last year out of you, and I meant that. If I'm going back, I have something to take care of first."
My breathing tight, I looked toward the door at Heather's form on the floor.
From what I could see, she was unconscious, but breathing. I'd never actually seen anyone unconscious before, so it was strange to me, and I had no idea what to do to help her. Even if I could.
He laid the bat across my pillows, and I looked at it as he settled more over me. There was blood on the end of it now from where he'd pressed it to my cheek. It looked scary against the aluminum of it.
As badly as I wanted to reach for it, I couldn't. I was too weak now. This time making sure both of my legs were pinned together by his knees. One of his hands gathered both of my wrists, pinning them hard to my chest.
"It's only fair." He growled into my ear, and a second later, he bit my cheek. I sobbed out loudly, my hands instantly fighting to get free, but he squeezed them tighter together, hurting my wrists too. After seconds that felt like years, he released me and he looked down at his handy work.
He chuckled again, leaning back down and biting and nipping painfully at my neck this time. I cringed away, but he held me still, his free hand coming up and gripping my hair tightly with all his strength.
I still sobbed loudly, completely unable to move. He pulled back enough to turn my head up, ignoring my weak attempts at freedom. I hated this so much, but I couldn't look away. Every time I tried to close my eyes, he pulled harder on my hair until I got the hint.
Releasing my hair, his hand reached down, and up the back of my shirt.
I fought at the heat of his hand against my skin, but that fight intensified as he dug his fingernails in right between my shoulder blades and dragged them down the entire length of my back. Just as hard, if not harder than I'd scratched him. He did it much slower, more painfully thanks to me being pressed into my bed, and he laughed at the burning pain I felt instantly.
I was completely trapped.
"I guess I'm almost out of time." He whispered to me through my loud sobs. "But just remember my little visit today. Hmm? I'll get out again. I'll be seeing you again. I'll keep coming back."
He brought his hand up, and I was surprised by the amount of my blood that covered his hand from the scratches he'd just given me. He used that hand to grip my face, holding me still as he pressed a kiss to my lips. Just a quick, very brief one, just enough to seal my fate, but it was painful in so many ways.
"I'm so glad I called your fucking bluff." He smiled. "So much for a few minutes, huh? Where are they now?"
"Right here, you son-of-a-bitch."
I jumped at Rosalie's solid voice suddenly in the doorway, and Jack actually did too. He pushed up, looking back. Emmett was directly beside her, and the look on his face, from what I could see in the dim light, was absolutely terrifying. Alice was helping Heather up off the floor, but I wasn't looking at them.
"Welcome home." Jack chuckled quietly.
Jack got up and I fought my way up, sobbing as Esme pushed her way in between Rose and Emmett. Despite the mess I knew I was, she wasted no time in coming forward, meeting me halfway and immediately drawing me into her arms, even as my legs gave out. I closed my eyes, choosing not to pay attention anymore. Hiding, in a way.
The back of my shirt was wet, but I tried not to pay attention to that.
I didn't pay attention as Emmett moved forward. The thunderous growl he gave scared me even more as I gasped for breath, but Esme's comforting hand coming up and covering the side of my head helped more than I was sure she knew. I felt her trembling, and I knew how much blood I was covered in was bothering her. Especially at the fact that she didn't say anything. None of them did, which told me none of them were breathing.
Except for Emmett.
"Where the hell do you think you're going?" Emmett's demand had me glance over.
Every single one of Emmett's movements screamed murderous rage, so I didn't fight Esme's hold around me as she pulled me further into her arms. I was still in panic mode, though, and it was taking me a moment to fully realize that I was safe again.
Alice stood up, watching with murder written in her own expression as we all watched Emmett drag Jack toward the door by his neck. Paying no mind to Jack's struggles on his way out of the room, right passed me. I didn't need a gift to know what was about to happen.
So suddenly, Emmett was dangerous. I'd known that before, but to see it..
Esme gave Alice a firm nod, and Alice didn't wait to be told twice.
I had no idea it was coming, but with no warning, everything just stopped. With no warning, I lost consciousness right as Alice was walking away.
The very next thing I knew, I was fighting. Kicking and twisting under hands attempting to stop me from getting away. My eyes were open, but I wasn't seeing anything yet.
"Leandra." It took several seconds for me to recognize Carlisle's voice. "It's okay. You're alright."
I found myself holding tight to his hand so hard my own shook. I recognized immediately where I was, and I noticed that hours had passed. Night had fallen, and I was still in my room. That wouldn't do.
I fought my way passed Carlisle, off the bed and falling to my hands and knees. I retreated backwards, and made it to the open door before I stopped and looked at him.
He seemed confused, and fairly concerned. He didn't know that I couldn't be in here. I couldn't concentrate on that right then, though, as I drew in deep lungfuls of air, coughing it out.
My head suddenly spun, and I looked down. Just like that, I'd narrowly escaped death, and maybe something far worse, once more.
"N-No." I managed, even as my voice shook. I was trying to tell him to go stop Emmett before he killed Jack, even though I knew it was far too late half a second later. Carlisle kneeled beside me, ignoring what I'd said.
"Just breathe." He told me gently. "Give it a minute." I needed to catch up, so I gladly took his advice. I trembled roughly, trying to calm down.
"J-Jack.." I shook my head. "Don't.. I-I tried, b-but-"
"Breathe." He told me, and I stopped trying to convince him. I couldn't anymore anyway, because the more I was able to breathe, I began to cry. Pulling me into his arms, he just held me, and that only helped me. I ignored the pain that flared down the length of my back at the slightest contact, because I needed to be held more than I cared about how much it hurt.
Soon enough, before I could break down too much, I started to calm down. Forcing tight breaths, but they started to slow down. This time, I did recognize Jasper's help.
"I've never been so scared in my entire life, Leandra." He admitted quietly, and that only broke my heart in another way. His entire life was a really long time, and I knew he was being truthful.
"Me neither." I whimpered, keeping my eyes shut.
I suddenly remembered. I sat back, reaching up and feeling my lips and chin for the blood I'd had there.
"It's alright, Leandra." He assured me, knowing what I was looking for. "Esme cleaned you up." I sighed, looking down. With my tongue, I felt the new gap between my teeth. I felt so horrible for it now. I knew an adult tooth would fill it in. I knew it'd be okay, but for right then, it was a solid reminder that Jack had been the one that knocked it out.
"How did he get inside?" He asked quietly. "What happened?"
I knew they needed to know, but I kept my eyes down shamefully. How would I admit that I'd been the one to let him in? After he'd stressed the importance of keeping everything locked, I'd been the one to let him in.
"Leandra?"
"I-I.." I whimpered, closing my eyes. "He seemed calm enough, so.. I-I.."
"You let him in?" He asked, and I nodded, sniffling. "Leandra, that's exactly what underestimating is."
"I know." I mumbled. "I'm sorry."
"What happened?"
"He said he just wanted to talk to you." I replied. "I-I tried telling him to go away and come back later, but he wanted to wait here. I didn't mean for him to come inside, but he just.. Sorta did."
"So you opened the door to talk to him?"
I nodded. "And I wasn't strong enough to keep him out."
"You could have done that from a window, Leandra." Jasper's voice calling up the hall had me feeling even more guilty. I hadn't even thought about that.
I knew they were all waiting to scold me, but I just kind of sat there.
"How is Heather?" I asked quietly.
"She's fine." Carlisle answered. "She'll have quite the headache for a little while, but she'll be alright. She's got quite a bit of confessing to do to her husband." I nodded.
"She came over, like you asked her to." I explained. "She pissed him off to get him off of me, but.. When she tried to get me to run, I couldn't. I was stuck. It's my fault she got hurt."
"Don't do that." He replied gently. "Mistakes are made sometimes, Leandra. Nobody is perfect."
"This mistake could have cost her her life." Jasper was bringing the scolding to me. I kept my eyes down. He had to know that there was no way I could feel any more guilty for what I did.
"Leandra, we could have lost you today." He told me. "Do you understand what that would have done? It's bad enough to find you the way we found you, but it could have been so much worse."
His tone told me that he wasn't completely mad at me. I looked up, seeing that he was worried too. Scared to even consider the fact that I was in such danger alone.
"I'm sorry." I mumbled again. "I should have been smarter."
He crouched in the doorway to be more on my level. I looked down again, bringing my knees up and rubbing my tearing eyes. I felt so horrible, but I didn't want him to think I was only crying to get out of being scolded. I knew I deserved it. There was no question.
I glanced over at Jasper's sigh, but the rest of my attention was taken by the rest of my room. I didn't see any hint of blood on the carpet anymore, but at the same time, I still saw it.
"I can't be in here." I whimpered, standing up. Unable to help it, I let a few sobs out as I stepped around Jasper and left the room. I crossed the hall, straight into the bathroom and closed the door.
The emotions that were coming back to me were a little overwhelming. Nothing I couldn't handle, but it was enough. Especially as I looked at my face in the mirror. There was no trace of blood, but I did have a pretty decent circular bruise on one of my cheeks in the shape of his teeth. I looked closer at it, making sure he hadn't broken skin. It looked like he had in one little spot, but other than that, it was just bruised.
A handful of smaller bruises down one side of my neck due to his smaller bites and nips. The other side of my neck holding just a tiny cut from the knife. My bottom lip was slightly swollen, and I felt the reason behind most of the blood in my mouth with one pass of my tongue. I'd bitten it when he slapped me.
My nose looked fine, thankfully, with no hint of a reason behind gaining that bloody nose. I sighed and turned my back to the mirror, raising the back of my shirt to get some kind of look at the deep scratches there. As if I needed more scars, I thought sadly.
They weren't too deep, but they were definitely sore. They were four wide, trailing down the length of my back and pulling slightly to my left.
I knew I'd be okay, but being unconscious for a few hours had to have worried them. Just as much as finding me like that. I had tried my hardest, and the only comfort I had was knowing I had fought back at all. Something I never would have done before.
I knew Carlisle had said Esme had cleaned me up, but I didn't feel like it. I still felt his weight on my chest and the memory of the panic underneath. I sobbed quietly, and turned on the sink. The cold water felt amazing against my face, but no matter how hard I rubbed at it, the bruise wouldn't go away. I was probably only making it worse anyway.
When I was ready to accept more scolding, I left the bathroom.
The second I entered the living room, Emmett picked me straight up. Lifting me off my feet as easily as he would a toddler. He inspected my face while I just sort of hung there.
I expected that, so instead of being surprised, I looked away.
"Yup." He finally said, setting me back down. "Still no guilt."
I knew what he meant by that, so I just moved over and sat down on the edge of the nearest couch cushion. I couldn't lean back. Esme immediately joined me, settling beside me and hugging me into her side. Alice stood with Rosalie back near the open doors, looking my way as Emmett sighed, shaking his head.
I glanced over as Carlisle and Jasper entered the room, making it official. Everyone was here.
I hated knowing that they were looking at just how close Jack had gotten to me. I hated it for many reasons.
At least I wouldn't have a scar, I thought to myself.
I honestly didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to tell them. I had no explanation other than the one I'd already given, but I knew they wanted more. How could I be so stupid?
"Leandra." Alice ended the stretch of silence. "You could have been killed."
"I know." I mumbled quietly.
"What I don't get is why." She stressed. "You knew what would happen."
"I thought.." I trailed off with a sigh. "I don't even know. I-I thought if I opened the door and told him to leave, he'd leave. He asked if you guys were home, and I said no, but-"
"That's exactly where you went wrong." Jasper scolded. "He wanted to be sure you were alone. What would you have done if he had shown up last night? Or yesterday? We wouldn't have been here."
I hadn't thought that far yet. I winced, looking down.
"What I mean, is your gift." Alice went on gently. "You were warned." She wasn't wrong. I literally couldn't argue or deny it anymore. It was eerie now how similar it was, between the dream and what actually happened.
"I thought that was just a stupid dream."
"Do you believe us now?" She asked.
"I don't even know." I sighed.
"Well, you don't have to worry about him anymore." Emmett spoke up. "He'll never be a problem again."
I closed my eyes. That didn't make me happy, but I'd have been lying if I didn't feel at least a little relieved. I was silent as I let that news sink in. He definitely deserved it, but in a way, it was my fault anyway for letting him in at all.
It also bothered me deeply. I could only imagine what they put him through the second they had the opportunity. I didn't like imagining that. Not in the least bit.
"Shorty?" Emmett asked.
"You were supposed to stay cuddly." I mumbled, now staring down at my hands.
"I still am." He replied. "Just not when it comes to people like him."
"I'm like him." I pointed out. He seemed surprised.
"You most certainly are not." Carlisle murmured, and I looked back at him shamefully.
"Yeah I am." I argued. "At least a little. I hurt people because I hurt."
"The difference is that you see it." He replied. "Leandra, the guilt you feel over what you do when you're upset is proof enough that you're nothing like him. Men like him don't do these things and feel bad for it. They do them because it makes them happy to do them. Do you feel happy when you hurt people?"
"No." I replied immediately. "I hate it."
"There's your answer." He said. "You recognize that it's wrong. All you need is to be taught a way to express the way you're feeling without causing harm to other people, because you were never taught how. That doesn't make you a bad person. That doesn't make you like him at all. You only need some guidance."
That surprised me a little, because he was right.
I thought about the conversation I had with Jack before everything broke, and the things he told me just after. It was heavy in my mind, like they weren't just normal words, but I knew for a fact that I'd never felt like that a single second in my life.
I closed my eyes, recalling more of the conversation. Jack had been right. I hadn't told them. I hadn't told them everything because I did fear what would happen, but they also did deserve to know. They needed to know what I was.
"Leandra." I looked over, actually surprised to see Edward here as well. "I think now would be a good time to come clean."
He knew where my head was. The last conversation I had with him. He was referring to the darkness and all the stuff in it.
I immediately shook my head. "I can't."
"I'm right here to help you." He pointed out. "But I know for a fact that it'll only help you to see just how much you don't need to hide those things anymore."
I shook my head again, but I really had to think about what he was saying. Maybe if I brought some light into that dark, the memories there would stop hurting me so bad.
"Now?" I asked, my voice breaking as I looked over at him.
"Closure." He replied softly. "And trust. Remember?"
"But.. You can hear what he said." I mumbled. I recalled for him the part of the conversation with Jack that I was talking about. The fact that I hadn't told them yet about me, and the second I did, they'd hate me.
"He's wrong." He replied. "And the sooner you see the proof yourself, the sooner you'll start to believe it."
The proof. The proof I needed, but didn't have, which was the reason why nothing Edward tried to tell me the night before he left with Bella would stick. Everyone was here. He was saying I'd see proof.
What if Edward was wrong? What would that mean for me?
But what if he was right?
I could finally take a step forward. If I could just admit to this one thing, the rest would be easy in comparison. Maybe I wouldn't have to feel guilty or ashamed anymore. I wouldn't have to hate myself so much. Hiding it, keeping it to myself was only letting it hurt me, and Edward was right. Now was the best time because with everyone here, I'd never need to repeat it, but how would I even begin?
"What is it, shorty?" Emmett asked, concerned by my silence.
My silence continued.
"Give her a moment." Edward replied for me. "Leandra, perhaps you should start in the dark."
I closed my eyes again, understanding perfectly. As much as I appreciated his prompt, it hurt me. That reminder pulled me right back into it. I hung my head, drawing in until Esme rubbed my arm gently. Comfortingly.
She pulled me to her, holding me securely and resting her chin on the top of my head. "Honey, no matter what it is you need to tell us, believe me. It will not change how much we care about you."
The real question was did I want to risk it? After what happened today, I needed them more than I'd ever be able to describe. I couldn't bear to lose them.
"I can't." I sighed, keeping my eyes down.
"Leandra, you were very brave." Edward tried a different approach, and I glanced up at him. "The situation got away from you, but I can honestly say that it was your effort and your courage that bought us enough time to get back."
"You messed him up, shorty." Emmett seemed to agree. "He would have had a hard time explaining those injuries away."
"I didn't want to." I mumbled. "But I had to. I just knew I had to hold on, and I don't think I would've been able to if I didn't fight back like that."
"You were very brave." Edward repeated. "Please just remember you have that fight in you, even if you don't want to believe it."
He wanted so bad for me to see what he saw, but I felt too low to believe him. He was trying to give me the boost of confidence I needed to get passed my fears and just tell them. I was out of confidence, though. I needed to rebuild.
"Richard is on his way over." Alice murmured, and I looked over. "He needs to talk."
"Let me guess." I said. "I should hide." I was a little grateful for that. I didn't want to face anyone right then. I really did want to hide.
"It would probably be a good idea." Emmett nodded. "Come on, shorty. I'll keep you company." I nodded as well, standing up with a wince. I rounded, looking at the hallway, but I couldn't make myself go any closer.
A problem had just become clear to me. I couldn't stand the thought of being in my room after what had happened and almost happened in there. I didn't even want to try, so I just sort of stood there for a second.
"Out back is a better bet, Emmett." Edward muttered quietly.
That was fine with me. I kept my head down as I followed him outside, through the back door. I was actually confused about why I never spent more time out here. I liked it better out in the back yard instead of the front. It was somehow quieter.
"I'm sorry." Emmett said as soon as the door was closed.
"Are you gonna get into trouble for what happened?" I asked instead of replying.
"No, shorty." He replied. "We'll be fine. There can't be that many people who'll miss him anyway."
I sat down carefully. Just taking a second to breathe in the summer night's air. It helped so much, and I briefly wondered how often they'd let me sleep out here.
"I guess I should thank you." I mumbled, ignoring the way my voice shook gently. "I mean it. I've never had anyone help me like you did."
"Then why do you look like a kicked puppy?" He asked quietly.
"Because I feel like one." I answered. "I just can't believe how stupid I was. He said he wasn't gonna leave until I talked to him, and stupid me.. All I wanted was to make him leave. I didn't want him to.."
"Don't tell me you're blaming yourself."
"No." I immediately denied. "I'm not. I know it had to happen. He wasn't listening, and he was hurting me. I tried, but.. I just wasn't strong enough to do it myself."
"Shorty, you stayed alive." He sighed, sitting in the chair next to mine. "That's all any of us could have asked for. I'm not mad at you for opening the door. I can kinda get why you did it."
"Aren't you gonna tell me how I could've been killed?"
"I think you know that better than anyone." He pointed out. "I think that's part of the reason why you look like a kicked puppy."
"I'm just sore." I replied. "I guess I haven't really had a chance to think about the little things yet. I'll be okay."
"Are you sure about that?" He asked, looking over at me.
No.
I didn't reply. Falling quiet as I looked over the thick patch of trees just beyond the yard ahead of us.
"I'm not sad he's gone." I finally said. "It just sucks how it happened."
I tensed instinctively as I felt him gently smooth my hair, looking over at him. I knew he saw it, letting his hand fall. I felt bad, because he'd just been trying to comfort me, and now he thought I was afraid of him.
"Square one?" He asked sadly. I thought about it.
"Nah." I eventually said. "It's nothing like square one. You'd know square one when you saw it." I paused again, looking back down. I really had to think now. How much had I grown since square one? In every possible way.
I'd learned so much since square one. I'd seen so much, and changed so much since square one. At square one, I never would have even dreamed of taking just a little bit of that power back. Jack had been stronger today, but I fought back, because I knew I could.
I remembered that conversation with Edward. Knowing my family knew I was even a little nervous around them bothered me on a deeper level now. They'd given me so much, and done so much for me today. I needed to let them know I was trying.
I compared that to my thoughts days ago, convincing myself that now was the time to let them in on just a bit of what I held back.
"Promise you won't hate me?" I asked quietly.
He seemed concerned. "I'd never hate you, shorty."
I closed my eyes. I let that comfort me. I let that in, and give me that ounce of confidence I needed to get through this. I just needed to force myself. To open that door, to open that room, instead of barricade it in the depths of my anger. To light that candle, and expose it to light and warmth. I fought tears, bracing myself.
"I gotta tell you something."
END
A/N: Okay, there's a lot to say here, so bear with me.
1) I know the fight was rough. I toned it down as much as I could, so please be kind(ish). This chapter took a lot of effort, because nobody was cooperating. :( I could probably spend another week going over this, but instead, I decided to release it.
2) There was originally a place for an explanation of what's in the dark, but I took it out because it's a very, very sensitive thing. It's not something I want to put out there just randomly. I haven't decided yet if it'll come up later or not. I guess we'll see where she's at next story.
3) I realize that this story was left with a lot of open places, but I liked this spot as an ending. Everything here will be focused on in the next story.
4) THANK YOU! To all the reviewers that have stuck with me throughout this series so far! As well as the new ones that have been kind enough to join the review club this story. I appreciate every single review I get, even if they're not always that good. I love you guys so much!
5) Next story shouldn't be too far away. I'm really excited to start that one, but I do want to take my time and figure out what needs to be where.
Well, I think that about covers everything. I hope you guys enjoyed following along so far.
Until next story, my friends!
