Author's Note:
Blaine's point of view again, and as usual, he's being so oblivious that you will roll your eyes and sigh in exasperation.
A heartfelt thank you to my wonderful beta VoyageAsia/hkvoyage for looking this chapter over for me and suggesting additional scenes :-)
Have you noticed the new cover art for Puppy Eyes? Isn't is just perfect?! It was made for me by the lovely RoxyMusicAndLayers, and you can find a bigger version of it on Tumblr (I'm lilyvandersteen there, too).
Clarification for the guest reviewer who was confused: Kurt knows Blaine as Professor Anderson. He doesn't know that Blaine is also Devon, the dog he looked after. And Blaine is scared that Kurt will somehow notice the similarities between Professor Anderson and Devon.
Chapter 4: Enlightenment
New York, January to April 2012
Ashton did have questions, of course, and Trent saw no other solution than to tell him the truth, once Blaine had turned human again, so they sat him down and explained about the curse Blaine was under. At first, Ashton laughed, but when he saw the both of them were serious as a heart attack, his grin disappeared.
"Really?"
Blaine sighed. "Yes, really."
"I thought you'd adopted a stray without telling Trent first."
Blaine shook his head. "It's a bit more complicated than that."
"I'll say. Does this happen often?"
"About once every two months," Blaine said. "Sometimes there's less time in between, but usually I get a two-month reprieve."
Ashton nodded. "I see. Trent, babe, the second half of March, you're staying at my place. No offense, Blaine, but I don't deal well with dogs. You can arrange for a dog walker to come, right? Like last week? That worked out great, didn't it?"
Blaine agreed, and that was the last word Ashton said on the topic, switching instead to the upcoming exhibit at the gallery where he and Trent worked. Apparently, the artist featured was a pretentious jerk, and ran them all ragged because his work had to be presented just the way he envisioned it, only he kept changing his mind about the right presentation, and had them change this and that, cussing them all out royally for not 'getting it'.
Blaine sympathised with Trent and Ashton, and made them laugh by suggesting polite but cutting retorts for the next time the artist showed up at the gallery.
"I wish I could really tell him that," Trent giggled. "But I'd get fired for it. The client is king at our gallery. Or, dictator, in this case. We're supposed to nod and go along with everything he says. He better be worth it, though. If he doesn't sell at least half of the monstrosities he's made, he'll find that our gallery is booked solid next time he wants to exhibit his works."
"Even if he sells all of them, I don't want to see him ever again," Ashton said.
"If he's that much of a cash cow, you know Vernon is going to book him again," Trent sighed. "So let's hope he does only well enough for us to make a tiny profit, so that all that work won't have been for nothing. That bouillabaisse was great, Blaine. What's for dessert?"
K&B
Blaine strode into his classroom, greeting a few students he already knew, and setting everything up for his lesson. He was stoked to finally get started. He knew he could have made a lot more money as a designer for one of the big agencies, but he much preferred teaching his skills to a new set of students each year, and watching them blossom and grow.
He gave a short welcome speech and started up the slideshow he'd prepared, a general introduction to making logos. When he was all the way through explaining what a good logo should consist of, he took his grab bag and paired off the students for their assignment: creating a logo for a fictional company they'd receive a description of.
"Maizie Williams? This is your assignment. And you will be working with… Kurt Hummel."
"Over here," said a clear, high voice, and Blaine, who'd been reaching in his grab bag again, dropped the bag, and then bumped his head into his desk and lost his reading glasses when he crouched down to collect all the slips of paper that had fallen out.
"Are you okay?" Maizie asked, her hand on his arm.
Blaine smiled at her. "I'm fine, just clumsy."
He straightened up and accepted his reading glasses from another helpful student, almost dropping them again when he realised who it was, standing right in front of him. Kurt! He'd known when he heard his voice that it was him. The dog walker who'd taken care of him all week. What were the odds?
Please don't recognise me. Please don't recognise me!
Blaine grabbed another slip of paper and continued to read out names, trying his hardest not to follow Kurt with his eyes, and managing to only stutter once when Kurt made eye contact with him during class.
Kurt didn't seem to recognise him at all, to his relief, and formed a good team with Maizie. The logo they came up with was excellent work for two beginners: understated but striking. Blaine told them so, and they both beamed and thanked him.
The pattern continued the following weeks. Whichever team Kurt was on produced the best work. Where the others were happy to stay close to the examples they'd been shown, Kurt took the general idea and technique and flipped it upside down. Made it his own. He was never scared to take risks, and that paid off. He produced content that belied his novice status and that even the biggest and best agencies would have been proud to claim as their own.
Paula noticed this, too, of course, and regularly popped into Blaine's office to show him the outstanding designs Kurt had made during her class weeks.
"Don't you have that contest coming up?" she asked. "Make sure Kurt submits an entry. He could win that thing! I want him to realise his potential and take this further. He's not studying graphic design, but I think he should. He's SO good. He could do great things. Maybe he's brilliant at designing clothes, too, but there's a lot more job opportunities in graphic design, especially for someone as talented as he is."
Blaine laughed. "Aren't you a bit biased? You just want him to keep coming to your classes, that's what this is all about!"
"Of course I'd love having him in my classes, but it's more than that," Paula huffed. "He has real talent. I would hate to see it go to waste."
So Blaine hung up a big poster for the design contest and put flyers everywhere, and a week later, he found that Kurt had taken the hint. Kurt came to his office during his consultation hours to discuss the contest, and as usual when Blaine was taken unawares by Kurt's presence, he dropped everything he was holding and behaved like a bumbling idiot until he got himself back under control.
Kurt decided to go for it and send in a design, so he regularly dropped in with questions he had. After a while, they started talking about other stuff, too. That had come about when Kurt had mentioned being from Ohio, and very glad to have escaped from that state. Well, they had that in common, and Blaine told him so. Before long, they were discussing getting bullied for being gay, and losing a parent, though Blaine had been an adult when his dad died, and had been anything but close to him.
Kurt was just so easy to talk to, and Blaine didn't think twice about having him in his office for hours, chatting about anything and everything under the sun.
It wasn't until another dog spell had come and gone that it dawned on him their closeness might be misinterpreted.
Paula brought it to his attention. "Your boy came to look for you last week. He was sad you weren't there."
"Uhm, what?" Blaine asked, frowning.
"Kurt," Paula clarified. "Came to see you during your consulting hours. I helped him out with the practical question he had, but he was so disappointed that he couldn't talk to you instead."
Blaine cocked his head to the side. "What are you getting at, Paula? He's a student coming to me with graphic design questions. We sometimes talk about other stuff, too, but there is nothing inappropriate going on, I promise you."
Paula raised an eyebrow. "He's always in your study for hours, what am I supposed to think? You better stop with the long chats, or another admirer of yours will get jealous and report you."
Blaine squared his jaw. "Oh, for the love of… Paula, we're just TALKING. There's nothing wrong with that. Stop making a mountain out of a molehill, please."
"The boy is crazy about you," Paula said softly. "I'm pretty sure to him it means more than just talking."
"Wh… What?" Blaine spluttered. "Now you're reaching! We get along well, that's true, but we're friendly, nothing more."
Paula rolled her eyes. "For someone so intelligent, you sure are dumb when it comes to reading others. Kurt has been making moony eyes at you for weeks. How can you not notice that? He's beyond obvious about it, too. You should see his face light up whenever someone even mentions you! For now, the other students in our class don't mind his crush on you, because he gives off such pining vibes that it's clear nothing has happened between the two of you. But be careful. You don't want to break his heart, nor do you want to lose your job over this."
Blaine opened and closed his mouth a few times without any sound coming out. Paula patted him on the shoulder and walked away.
He looked after her with disbelief. Surely, she was overreacting. She must be. He was certain that Kurt liked talking to him because they shared the same background and had similar tastes. Nothing more than that. The rest was all in Paula's head. She was too imaginative by far.
Blaine chuckled when he thought about that guest speaker from the R/GA design agency Paula had once invited. What was his name again? Smith or something? Blaine had attended the lecture, and afterwards, the guy had walked straight up to him and started chatting, because he seemed to think that Blaine was the one teaching this class. Blaine had gently set him straight and brought him to Paula, but afterwards Paula had sworn up and down that the guy had been flirting with him. "It wasn't a mistake at all, Blaine. He was totally into you. I saw him checking out your ass!"
Blaine had scoffed at that. The guy was a head taller than he was, very handsome and well-dressed, oozing charm and old money, and working for one of the biggest design agencies in New York. Why would a guy like that be interested in a dowdy short teacher with glasses and a beard? The very idea was laughable.
Now, too, Blaine dismissed Paula's concerns without any further thought. She was fantasising again, he was sure, and if she ever brought up the subject again, he'd shut her down and tell her to mind her own business.
K&B
The following weeks, Kurt seemed off, somehow. Skittish, and sad. He didn't talk to anyone in class, he left the minute it was over, and though he paid attention and produced good work, his usual brilliance and spark were lacking. He didn't come by during Blaine's consultation hours, either, so Blaine had no idea what was going on, and he couldn't help but worry.
In the end, his concern won out over his determination not to pry, and after class, he asked Kurt to stay for a minute and asked him outright what was wrong. He'd thought maybe that Kurt's dad was doing worse again - he'd been diagnosed with cancer and was reacting well to treatment, last Blaine had heard, but he wasn't in remission yet. But he was thrown for a loop when it turned out that Paula had taken Kurt to task as well, making him feel guilty about talking to Blaine.
Blaine gritted his teeth and assured Kurt that he had nothing to worry about and hadn't done anything wrong, but it was plain to see that the damage was done. Kurt would barely look at him and rushed away as soon as Blaine had said his piece.
When he barged into Paula's office five minutes later to chew her out for making Kurt feel uncomfortable, she just looked up at him with a barely there smile. "Missing him already, are you?"
He glared at her and stomped back out of her office without saying another word.
More weeks passed, and Kurt stayed sad and silent, keeping his distance. Blaine hated it. Though he would never have admitted it to Paula, he did miss Kurt, and the easy rapport they'd had. They'd become low-key friends, and he missed his friend.
Yes, he had Trent at home, and Ashton now, too, and both of them were great company, but often they were so wrapped up in each other that Blaine felt like a third wheel. Also, their newly-in-love vibe threw Blaine's loneliness in stark relief, and made him feel it keenly.
Blaine had never minded being single much, because he had the companionship of Trent, who was in the same boat. Now, though, he realised that apart from Trent and Paula, he had no-one he was close to here in New York. The rest of his friends all lived far away, and the most contact he had with them was a Facebook message now and then. Maybe that's why he'd befriended Kurt?
He decided to talk to Kurt again at the award ceremony for the contest, but just when he was putting on his tux for the occasion, another dog spell hit him, and all he could do was push his alarm button and lie low until Trent arrived to help him.
Trent was there in ten minutes. He put the tux back into Blaine's closet and called the jury president to make Blaine's excuses. He contacted the dog walking agency too, and arranged a week's worth of walks again.
"I'll have to take you out myself tonight," Trent sighed. "The dog walker isn't available today."
So they went to their usual park, and Blaine made sure to do his business quickly.
Back home, Trent put the television on. "You want to watch the ceremony you're missing? Or will that bum you out even more?"
Blaine nodded, and hopped onto the sofa.
Trent brought him his Wagg remote and busied himself in the kitchen, doing the dishes, taking the trash out and setting out Blaine's food and water bowls.
As the jury members were stepping onto the dais, decked out in their finery, Trent came to sit next to Blaine on the sofa. "Blaine, I'm going over to Ashton's, okay? You've had your walk, you've got your remote and there's food and water for you in the kitchen, so you should be all set until tomorrow. I'll pop in before work to see how you're doing. If there's an emergency, use your button and I'll be right there."
Blaine knew the drill by now, and didn't protest when Trent got up and left. He glued his eyes to the television screen again, and saw Kurt make his way to the stage to accept his award, his expression radiant, and Blaine was so proud of him he could burst.
He hadn't seen Kurt this happy and glowing in a long while, and when he saw a girl in a hot pink dress bounce up to him and give him a long hug, whispering excitedly into his ear, he felt a fierce stab of envy. He wanted to be there, with Kurt, and congratulate him. And hug him too, yes. There was nothing wrong with that, was there?
The next morning, when Kurt came to fetch him for his walk, the urge to congratulate Kurt and show him how proud he was hadn't abated yet, so Blaine couldn't help jumping up on Kurt excitedly. That was as close as a hug as he could get, and when Kurt laughed and cooed and petted Blaine in all the right places, Blaine closed his eyes and felt happier than he had in weeks.
K&B
The week flew by in a blissful blur, and on Saturday, Blaine turned human again. He spent the rest of the afternoon holed up in his room catching up on his work, until he felt a hand on his shoulder.
He turned around to face Trent, taking off his headphones to listen to what his friend had to say. "Is it dinner time already? We'll have to order take out, I'm afraid. I haven't got the time to cook, 'cause I'm so far behind on everything. Just tell me what you're in the mood for, and I'll place the order right away."
Trent shook his head. "I don't care about dinner."
That made Blaine chuckle. "Since when do you not care about dinner, Mr Foodie?"
Trent's eyes flashed. "Since I've got more important stuff on my mind."
Blaine, not used to being snapped at by his usually so soft-spoken and good-natured friend, raised his eyebrows. "Oh… Work trouble or love trouble?"
Trent sighed. "Love trouble."
"Want to talk about it?" Blaine offered.
"Yes."
"Okay."
Trent bit his lip. "The thing is, Ashton asked me to move in with him."
"Riiiight," Blaine drawled. "Isn't that a bit early? You've been dating for… what, two months now?"
"Six, almost seven, actually."
"Oh. Okay."
"And yes, maybe it's a bit early, but for Ashton it's safer to be away from you."
Blaine frowned at Trent. "Safer?"
"He's allergic to cats and dogs. When you're in your dog form, he really suffers whenever he comes here."
"Oh. I didn't know that."
Trent rolled his eyes. "Of course you didn't."
Blaine crossed his arms. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Can we get back to the main issue please? The thing is, I'm going to have to move out of here, or I will lose my boyfriend."
Blaine's mouth fell open. "So you're just going to up and leave? What about me? What am I supposed to do when I turn back into a dog? Aren't you being a bit selfish right now?"
Trent glared at Blaine. "Oh, I'm being selfish?! That's rich!"
Trent balled his hands into fists. "You know, I used to think you'd gotten a rough deal, with this dog curse, but I more than understand Alex by now. You're the most self-absorbed guy I 've ever met. You can hide it really well, and seem friendly and helpful and whatnot, but you never so much as notice anyone else."
Blaine, taken aback by his friend's animosity, opened his mouth to ask what had brought this on, but Trent shouted, "NO! You're going to shut up until I've said my piece!"
Blaine nodded and sat down on his loveseat, looking up at Trent, who sighed and raked a hand through his hair.
"I've been helping you out for years and years now. Living with you day in day out, covering for you any time you needed it, looking after you. Always on standby. Never going home to visit my parents or even going out at night without you just in case you turned into a dog and needed my help. And trust me, I did it with love."
Blaine smiled at Trent, but that seemed to make him even angrier.
"But you've never appreciated anything I do for you. You take it for granted. Like this is just a normal thing you can ask of any regular friend. Well, let me tell you, it's not. It's me putting my life on hold for over a decade, in the hopes that you'd finally get your head out of your ass and NOTICE me. As more than a friend."
A feeling of dread stirred in Blaine's stomach, because this sounded so horribly familiar. Trent let out a humourless chuckle.
"Oh, that's news to you, is it? Everyone else but you has known this for YEARS. Even your mother knows. I have been in love with you since sophomore year in high school. That's right. Eleven years I've waited for you. And I am done waiting. So done."
Blaine winced at the pain in Trent's voice. Had he really been so blind?
"I kept hoping for a really long time, because you were always so attentive, so affectionate. Also, you never dated anyone else and you spent all your time with me. But I guess that had more to do with the curse than with me, right? You didn't want to risk turning into a dog while your one-night stand was balls deep in you?"
Blaine bit his lip and looked down, because yes, that was his reason for not dating.
Trent nodded, his eyes sad. "I wasted so much time. Did you know that it took Ashton two years to ask me out 'cause he was convinced you and I were married? 'Cause I always take you to every work function, and we've lived together for years, though we both make enough money to have an apartment of our own. But then luckily, he overheard you telling Janice that you were single, yes, but gay. And that's when he plucked up the courage to talk to me."
Trent smiled. "And he's amazing. And I'm happy. So happy. I've never had this. I never even thought I would. And if he weren't allergic to dogs, there would be no problem. But he is. Very allergic. And it's horrible. It gives him an asthma attack to be around you in your dog form, though you don't even shed all that much. He goes blue in the face, Blaine. He can't breathe because of you. And if he wants to avoid that, he needs to take medication that makes him feel groggy and lousy all day. So it's not selfish of him to ask me to move in with him. And it's not selfish of me to consider it. He's my boyfriend, not you."
Trent rubbed a hand over his face to wipe his tears away, and Blaine wordlessly handed him a handkerchief. Trent rolled his eyes, blew his nose in it and then continued. "I've looked after you for years, even though I'm not your boyfriend, not your brother, and not your parent or guardian. All I am to you is a friend. Well, you can find another friend. And if you can't, you can pay for that dog walker that's also taking your class to come live with you 24/7. The way you've been talking about him and his many talents the past few weeks, I'm sure an arrangement like that would suit you way better than living with me."
Trent sounded bitter. Had Blaine really been talking about Kurt that much? He was one of the most talented students Blaine had ever taught, that was true. But why would that make Trent angry? It wasn't like Blaine fancied Kurt.
Trent shrugged. "So I've made up my mind. I'm going to pack, and I'm going to be out of your hair by this time tomorrow. Have a good life, Blaine."
Trent turned around, walked into his bedroom and slammed the door closed.
Blaine stared after him, stunned. That had been a lot of information to take in. Why hadn't Trent said anything before? Blaine was slow to take a hint, that was for sure, but Trent could have told him outright. Why had he let this fester for years?
Blaine put on his shoes and his coat, and went out for a walk, figuring it was pretty safe to go out by himself, seeing as he'd only just turned human again. It had been years, and Alexei didn't think of him often nowadays. It wasn't like his junior year, during which he'd had to drop out and be home-schooled after Alexei had cursed him because there was barely a day between his dog weeks, and he couldn't attend Dalton as a dog, now, could he? If he hadn't had his mom's and Trent's support, he'd have gone completely nuts back then.
Blaine wandered around aimlessly for hours, and ended up on a bench in a quiet little park, his head in his hands, and thinking hard. He'd have to contact his mother, as soon as possible, so that they could adjust the emergency plan for when Blaine turned into a dog. With Trent out of the equation, they'd need to rethink it.
Blaine toyed with the idea of asking Kurt to come live with him so that he'd have someone to look after him. But for that, he'd need to share his secret with someone else than his mother and his best friend, and that thought was scary. A bridge too far. He decided not to make any rash decisions and to wait until he'd talked to his mother.
A quiet voice distracted him from his thoughts. It sounded familiar. When Blaine looked up, he saw that the park had attracted two more visitors in spite of the late hour. A tiny dog that seemed upset for some reason, and a man trying to calm it down by squatting next to it, petting it gently and speaking to it in a soothing tone. Looking more closely, Blaine realised that it was Kurt, and that he was looking right at him. He sent Kurt a smile that probably looked more like a grimace, and then broke the eye contact to go back to reviewing his options and mourning Trent's departure.
No, he wasn't in love with Trent, and never had been, but he'd miss him. So much. His best friend. His confidant. The one person he could always depend on.
Trent would leave such a large hole in his life. Blaine didn't even know how to live without him. No-one to say hi to in the morning and at night. No-one to eat with and watch trashy TV with. No sympathetic ear, no-one to give him sound advice and to arrange all the practical stuff that muddled and overwhelmed Blaine. No-one to talk and laugh and cry with, and no-one to hug and cuddle with.
Only now did it dawn on Blaine how much he'd come to depend on Trent, and how much it felt like a relationship, yes, minus the sex aspect.
Blaine winced as he thought of all the gestures he'd made that could have been misunderstood. He'd always presented Trent with a gift on Valentine's Day, seeing as they were both chronically single, and he took him out every year, too, usually dinner and a show. He brought Trent breakfast in bed on weekends, seeing as he was a morning person and Trent was not. He mothered Trent whenever he was sick. He tended to remember Trent's preferences in chocolates and pastries, and regularly brought home a box of Guylian seafood or fresh cannolis for him. He cuddled against him on the sofa while watching television, and hugged him several times a day.
Put that all together and it was no wonder Trent had hoped for more. No wonder people thought he and Trent were a couple.
Blaine had, once again, been an oblivious idiot, and he'd hurt the best man he'd ever known.
