Chapter Sixty-Nine: More to Gain
Of course, Loki didn't need to walk all the way to the front door to see who was there. He had the ability to travel with his mind's eye, peek out past the barrier and know. Yet, at first he did not do this. He was stuck in denial. He wanted to stay locked in the cove with Eve and Sasha. He wanted the knock at the door to be some neighborhood kids playing a prank, or a confused, lost woman looking for directions. Possibly even the old owners back to negotiate with their ghosts. The real estate woman back for more nightmares. A fallen tree branch clacking against the door in the wind like a fistful of knuckles. As long as he didn't check, he could believe any or all of these things.
How could anyone have found them, anyway? With each step he took, it felt more and more unlikely. He had protections layered on top of protections. Auras and ancient spells he'd mastered, things he supplemented all the time, never leaving any gap or possibility for breach. Even if photos of them in their sand bed on the beach that first night had gone online and been spotted by facial recognition, it would be impossible to pinpoint them. How would anyone know to go to that small real estate office? To ask Alicia?
His breath was measured but it grew harder to keep steady. It was not impossible that someone could know where they were. If enough people went around with a picture of Loki, walked into every building on the outskirts of the city where they were, they would find Alicia indeed. She would have no reason not to tell them about the threats Loki had posed regarding this address. It was a convoluted way, in his mind the only way, but not impossible. With the proper manpower―and his enemies had peons to spare―it could be done.
The knock came again, ever louder, rattling the door on its hinges. Loki stood on the other side of it, eyeing up the peep hole, not wanting to look through. There was no way around it. He poised his eye in front of the small opening and saw, to his dismay, his brother. He searched the perimeter immediately, as quickly as his mind would allow. There was no one else with him, at least not at the house. He looked in every nearby car in every driveway on the street. No SHIELD teams with guns waiting for their go-ahead.
Loki opened the door, disguising himself as a frail old woman.
"Young man," he wailed, fussing with the belt of the fuzzy bathrobe he'd given this persona. "Have you any idea what time it is?"
"Ma'am, I think you may have an intruder in your home," Thor said, sounding exhausted.
"If I let you in, I will!"
Thor blinked at this short, shaky woman. "I'll look around and be out of your hair in no time."
"You'll do no such thing! I'll call the police!"
"That might not be a bad idea," Thor said, and moved the woman aside to enter.
Loki had shut the door to the cove and cast a spell that made it looked like there was no door there at all.
Thor went into the kitchen to scout. He did not shut the front door behind him. He turned on all the lights as he walked by.
Loki, as the old woman, picked up the landline phone and made like he was calling the authorities. "They say they'll be here in no time at all and they will make you leave!"
"They will not," Thor said. Though Loki knew he wouldn't fear a team of mortal police officers, he had to act the way a belligerent old woman would in this scenario. Still, he had no concrete plan. He had to know how his brother found him to prevent anyone else from doing so. It churned his stomach to be seeing a familiar face so soon.
"Who are you looking for? Who do you think is here? A criminal? I keep my doors locked, I'll have you know!"
Thor turned to the old woman and looked as though he had no intentions of giving her any answers. His gaze spun into suspicion before long. "Loki," he said, and it was half of a question.
"Who?" the old woman demanded.
Thor pursed his lips. "Loki, stop this."
Then, Loki noticed the raven perched on his brother's hulking shoulder. He laughed and returned to his godly form. "Which raven is that?"
Thor sighed but did not look angry. "I don't know," he said. "I can never tell them apart."
"Of course you'd happen upon something so lucky."
"Lucky?" Thor's eyebrows tilted in toward his nose. "I stalked the skies waiting for one of father's ravens to appear. Then I had to figure out how to communicate with it. Convince it to show me where you were."
"How does that winged rat know where I am?"
Thor rolled his eyes. "Do you think father's observatory familiars are susceptible to your illusions? That's even more audacious than what I'd expect from you."
"So you could have found me this way the whole time? Way back at the start of all this?"
"Possibly. I didn't want to tell father I'd lost you."
"If the ravens report back to him, wouldn't he already know?"
This stumped Thor. "I―suppose?"
"Yet he didn't clamor to aide you. Interesting."
Thor looked at the raven perched on his shoulder. It was fidgeting and pecking his cheek. "I suppose you're free to go, you evasive, beaked nuisance."
The bird made a dissatisfied squawk and took off, zooming so quickly that the resulting wind slammed the door behind him.
Loki frowned. "Won't you need him to find your way back?"
"No," Thor said. "I'm not going back."
"Excuse me?"
"I can't stay there any longer. Knowing you're out here, plotting, scheming―it was driving me mad. Knowing that I lied to everyone, that they were still in danger. Jane, especially. How could I look at her? She deserves my honesty. They all do."
Loki was flummoxed. "And you think they're going to accept this? You think your lady love is going to accept this? Did you say goodbye?"
Thor avoided his brother's eyes.
"Good lord. They will come looking for you! You'll lead them right to us. How many people do you think saw you parading across the sky like a monstrous pigeon on your way here? Photos? Photos that will make it into newspapers?"
"Photos of you make the front page. Photos of me do not. Not anymore. You are far more interesting to them than I am."
"That's not the point."
"I have to stay here, with you, and make sure you do not hurt another soul." Thor looked around into the dark parts of the house he had yet to get to. "Where is your woman?"
"She's not here," Loki said. He was going to convince his brother to go home, and then Eve would have to pick a new house in a new country. They'd leave even less of a trail this time and hide their appearances constantly. Even Sasha would have to look like a different dog. He was planning it all out, but first he had to persuade Thor to leave. "Brother, I have no evil plans. I simply want my solitude, my earthly extravagance. I am happy with just these things, you need not worry."
Thor ignored all that. "Where is she if she is not here?"
"I don't know. She opted to leave me before I came here, she is still in New York somewhere."
"What did you do that made her want to part ways? When I saw you last, she seemed determined to stay with you."
Loki made a displeased face. "I'm shocked you didn't predict that she would leave me. Of course she did. I'm surprised she didn't find her way back into Fury's clutches yet."
Thor sighed. "I can't trust a single word you say. You would say or do whatever it takes to get what you want."
"Yes, perhaps. Did you ever stop to think it might because there's nothing I could do or say to get what I wanted from the beginning? A shot at the throne."
"Again with this, Loki? Honestly?"
"Am I meant to be over it so quickly?"
"Frankly, yes! You've had your tantrum. All you've done is make things worse for yourself time and time again. It does not matter. Say or do as you please, I will be here to watch you and make sure you hurt no more innocent people."
Loki groaned. "And what of all the other threats this oh-so-innocent world faces? If the Avengers come across a new challenger, will you not be there to help them? No, you'd rather be my chaperone, I suppose. It's a position you're better suited for than Asgard's ruler, if I do say so myself."
"I am tired," Thor said. "Exhausted. I am not interested in arguing these points with you, I need to rest. Pack your things and go as I sleep. Be my guest. I will stalk the ravens and find you every day. I will learn to live on less and less sleep so my eyes may always watch you. I made the wrong choice. I should have never let you go. I truly believed you may kill Jane, I really thought you hated me that much and would do anything to spite me. I am infuriated with you but I still respect you as my kin. I respect you enough to take away the shovel you're using to dig this colossal hole."
"I have accepted that I am not welcome back home or here. I plan to just exist, as I said before."
"Even if that's true, your interests will change when you get the slightest whiff of power. You will wait for the right opportunity, that's all."
"If you want me apprehended, go back and tell your teammates where I am and that you know how to find me if I leave. Let them all come and drag me back, bind my wrists again, perhaps with something stronger this time. Send me back to my false father so that he may deal with me. Yet we've just figured out he's known where I am all along and has done nothing to intercept me."
Thor rubbed his forehead. "I'm sure he knows I'm handling it. You have not killed anyone else since we captured you last. I hope." Loki neither confirmed nor denied. Thor wiped at some imaginary residue on his lips. "Now. Where may I sleep?"
Loki led him to an upstairs bedroom and dejectedly gestured to the bed. His brother stripped off his red cape and heavy armor, revealing a simple cotton tank top and athletic pants underneath it all. He sat down on the bed and relaxed right away, turning his body into the plush mattress and groaning out the aches in his muscles. He had flown for the better part of a full day to get here, trailing along behind that ill-tempered raven. He suspected the bird took some pleasure in bringing him so far. He lay with his back turned to the door, where Loki was watching.
"Are you going to leave?" Thor asked.
Loki took note of how different his brother looked to him now. Without all the accessories, the helmet, the plated armor, and with Mjolnir on the ground out of sight, he could almost be mistaken for a normal man. An overzealous gym rat. It reminded him of simpler days when they were children and wore colorful pajamas to bed. When they would sneak into each other's rooms late at night to play fight or plot funny pranks for the next feast.
Loki said, "I haven't decided," and shut the door.
He went down to the pool's entrance on the first floor. Eve was peering out into the false sight he'd set up for her with worry in her eyes. She couldn't see him. Then her forehead wrinkled in suspicion. She blinked, remembering she could see through such illusions, to witness him standing right in front of her. She gasped.
"What are you doing?" She laughed nervously. "Is this a joke? I don't get it."
Loki let himself into the pool and shut them in.
"Who was at the door?"
"My brother."
Eve's stomach dropped. "Whatever sort of trick this is? It's not funny."
"I'm not lying. My brother was at the door. Thor. Hammer and cape and all."
Eve moved to look down the hallway. "What happened? Where is he now?"
"He's sleeping in one of the rooms upstairs."
Eve tried to make eye contact with him but his gaze was fixed on nothing. She watched his face carefully, looking for some telltale sign this was all a lazy, unplanned rouse. That maybe after that deep, alluding discussion about his past he sort of wished his brother had been at the door.
"He wants to stay with us."
"Wha―Loki, you can't allow that."
Loki sighed like all of his troubles had caught up to him at once. It all felt so anticlimactic if it were true. "Eve, listen. I told him you were not here."
"And he believed you?"
"He's exhausted. He flew here from New York. And I mean flew, with the hammer out in front of him."
Eve had to take a step back. "Why would he do that? How did he know where we were?"
"My father has this pair of ravens called Huginn and Muninn. They check on everything in all the realms and report back to him nightly. I guess they can see through my protections and Thor managed to get one of them to lead him here."
Eve scooped up Sasha, who was splashing in the puddle Eve's wet body had made. "You said he's sleeping? We should go, then! Somewhere else, somewhere even more secret!"
"Where even the Allfather's mystical familiars can't find us?"
Eve bit her top lip. "Yeah. Yeah, I guess. Sure."
Loki laughed lightly. "Such a place does not exist."
Eve hugged Sasha into her chest. The dog squirmed, eager to get back to playing. "What do we do?"
Loki glanced at the puppy and pursed his lips. "I think I have to take you home, now."
Eve's grip on Sasha loosened until she was hugging the pup under the belly with one arm. The atmosphere all around them shifted so severely that the dog stopped fidgeting and looked to her owners in turn, worried.
"Home? What home?"
"Eve, I'm sorry."
"If you take me back there I'll be locked up and questioned."
"Better that you claim you severed your ties to me before I left, say I had you under some spell."
Eve felt weak all of a sudden. She set Sasha down. "What has changed now that you're looking to get rid of me?"
"He says he has no interest in apprehending me or calling in reinforcements. He simply could not go on knowing I was on the loose and may hurt more people. That's his lion heart for you. He's a do-gooder through and through. I remember a time when he used to be far more selfish. He has grown and I―Eve, there's a part of me that wants to make things right with him. A large part. I don't think it's doable with you here, too. It will do nothing but remind him that he left something behind and my deviousness is to blame for that."
Eve studied his all-too-sincere face. Then she said, "Bull shit. You're gonna have to do better than that."
Loki cast his gaze down. "The last time my brother came looking for me, you could have died."
"Because of your disorientation spell."
"Yes, exactly. Ordinarily my brother would never harm you but―"
"No. You're not going to send me away for my own safety. No, it's silly. You realize you don't have to fight your brother, right? That you can solve your problems with words instead."
Loki couldn't help but laugh. Then, he reached out and took her hand to shake it. "Hi, I'm Loki, I don't believe we've met."
She pulled her hand away from him. "I think it'll be even better for the two of you to have me here as a buffer. You've already said he would never dream of hurting me, so it's actually you who needs reining in. Who better for that than me?"
"Do you think you soothe me? Calm me down? Only over the past few days have we been able to peacefully coexist."
"Let me out of here," she said, suddenly, heading for the door.
Loki watched her go. "No," he said. He did not take down the barrier.
"Loki, I am not going home. I have no home, I have nothing left there. You don't want me to get hurt? SHIELD will hurt me. Fury will hurt me."
"I'm sorry," Loki said, a stillness about him, a calm that made her want to throttle him.
Eve was feeling weak in every sense of the word. Her muscles had had their fill for today. She longed to be back in bed. She was struck by a horrible notion that the next bed she rested in would be in her old room in the SHIELD building, where she could be confident that Loki would not come looking for her. This trip overall, were it to end this way, would amount to a short-lived and foolish exercise. They'd spent more time bickering than anything else. That was true of their whole relationship.
She sat on the slick tile, her back pressed up against the doorway that would not let her through. If she was going to go, if he was going to make her leave, she wanted answers. She found herself worried most of all about being left wondering.
"If I go, will you miss me?"
Loki paused in thought. "No," he said.
Eve donned an expression of disgust. "Oh, is that what we're doing? You're going to make this easier for me by pushing me away?"
"You asked and I answered."
"I know that. I also know that desperation makes you cruel."
Loki took his time in answering, the space behind his eyes all turning silver gears. "Did you understand my allegory?"
"With the princesses?"
"Yes."
Eve tried to decide what answer would best placate him, which answer gave her the best chances.
"Don't lie," Loki said. "Don't try to decipher my intentions in asking. Tell the truth. Did you understand the allegory or not?"
She exhaled, defeated. "No. No, I didn't."
"Exactly. You can't possibly understand how important this is to me. I need to do what is best for my future. I have more to gain from repairing my relationship with Thor than―"
Eve laughed. "Oh, is that what you foresee happening here? Someday he'll thank you for being such a nuisance that he left his hopes behind to babysit you."
Loki's eyes went sharp. He straightened out so his posture was beyond perfect.
"I have more to gain from spending time with him than I do with you. I am lifetimes your senior, Eve, did you ever think of that? I've had aquatic pets longer than I've known you. I've read beneath trees that grew from saplings in my youth, trees whose legacies span far longer than your oldest living relative. I don't care to explain myself any further. You have already admitted that you can't comprehend my struggles, my strife."
She had her eyes closed and she was focusing on her breathing. "Loki," she said. "Please come be close to me. Please come sit beside me. Please, let's talk and be calm and really sort this all out. Your brother is sleeping, there is no chase at our backs."
He observed, face expressionless, as her eyes flickered open and pleaded to him. The hot tub jets made a constant cackle of bubbles the soundtrack for this conversation. Despite how inviting her figure, despite the sight of the dog nuzzling into her bent knees, he did not go to her.
"Please," she said again, quiet, praying that if she could get him close, remind him of their connection, that he may put thought into a plan where she could stay.
This echoed request jostled him. "There is simply nothing you could offer me. Nothing you could do to help repair centuries of resentment. You were a side quest, always, a tool to taunt those who were unable to capture me."
"You're talking like you did at the start of all this, you know?" Her stomach was weighed down inside her, like she'd swallowed liquid metal. It felt like any progress she'd made with him was all burnt to ash. When she really considered it, how much progress had there been? What did she consider progress? Even at their best, their dynamic was far from healthy. She believed that, had Thor not shown up, she could have continued feasting on small victories. This setback was astronomical, drawing Loki's guard up higher than she could climb. Higher than she was willing to climb.
"Are you scared to be close to me?" she prodded. "Scared that if you come over here you'll remember how you feel about me?"
"I feel ashamed," he spat. "Ashamed I let you slow me down like this."
"Loki. Don't."
"No, if you want to pressure me, you're going to hear the truth. I feel like I've wasted so much time trying to embolden a version of you that does not exist. I saw in you a woman with fight and spunk and power. That was what I wanted, and I projected those things onto you. It's not real. You are useless, and I've been a fool."
The only thing keeping Eve calm was a certainty in her gut that this was all him lashing out.
"You were a waste of my time," he said, digging into her ever further.
"Stop," she said, on the verge of breaking down.
"Right, I wouldn't want to hurt your fragile mortal feelings. Listen to me," he said, his tone turned cruel, a threat imminent, "I'm going to send you back and there is nothing you can do about it."
Eve looked up at him and blinked.
"When I succeed, when I lower my brother's guard, I will return home and take my rightful place."
"That will never happen," Eve insisted.
"Maybe so. But it's what I want, and I know that I wouldn't want to take you with me. Imagine the ridicule. A god with a mortal on his arm."
Eve stood, a surge of anger fueling her body. "If you do this, if you send me back there, I will do everything in my power to help them catch you. I will tell them all of your tricks, I will let them use me to check for illusions and I will join their ranks. I will work tirelessly to keep you from that dream."
"My brother is the only one who can truly locate me, and he is already here."
Eve balled her hands into fists. "When you alienate him, when you fail and anger him and end up on the run again, he will come back to New York and I will tell him everything. I will wait. I will bide my time. I will ruin this for you."
"Why be so petty?"
"Because you ruined my life! You took everything from me." She exhaled through her nose. Her breath wavered, unsteady.
"I didn't force you to―"
"What fucking choice did I have? Go along with it all or die? Naturally I've got feelings for you now because my brain is trying to turn this into something good. Even so, it's all over. I always knew you would discard me at a moment's notice. You can't expect me to just let it happen. This was the life you wanted me to fight for, right? You wanted me to steal this house, take what I want, be selfish, like you. Well, this? Promising to put your dreams to death at your feet? Threatening to live my life in spite of you, in the hopes of ruining you? This is me emulating your truest self. I am only doing what you would do, what you would have me do."
Her harsh words echoed off the enclosure. The fake plants and ivy that adorned the cave seemed to shiver.
"Fine," Loki said, all too calm. "You can stay."
Eve faltered, her fingers falling away from her palms, her brows confused. She watched him like he'd just hit a baseball and she was waiting for the catch.
"But you're staying in here. You won't be able to see my brother or speak to him. The barrier on that door will stay up at all times. Thor will not know this area exists."
Eve looked around. She looked at the water, the lawn chairs, the high ceiling and walls with all glass windows that showed the sky and the yard.
Loki left. He passed through the door and it shut behind him. She ran to it, pulling at the handle and pounding on the glass. He went into a bedroom and reappeared in the hallway, floating a twin sized bed out in front of him like a parade balloon. He waved one hand and Eve was thrust away from the door while he brought the bed in and set it off to the side, tucked in a corner.
He brought bowls for the dog, next, with food and water, but nothing for Eve. He fixed the comforter on the bed and said, "Sleep well."
After he left, she didn't go and pound on the door again. There was something so decisive about his movements, something immovable about his face. She sat down on the bed, listening to Sasha crunch away at her food. There was nothing else to do, so she watched the clouds above her and hoped that he would calm down and return, change his mind about all this. Yet she knew his actions were not the result of anger. He hadn't returned to true form with threats of sending her home in a body bag or missing some of her vital parts. On the surface that seemed better, but in all truth she couldn't tell. The threats would have felt like he didn't care about her. This way, it felt like he did care, just not enough for it to sway him.
She listened for his footsteps. They never came.
A/N:
Oh wow hey guys! It's been almost a year since I last posted. My book is done and I tinker with it constantly. I also moved to a new state. I knew that it would be a lot of work to get back into the groove of the story, especially since I've worked on so many other projects in the meantime. In order to get back here, I reread the last 10 chapters (thanks to those of you that saw the update on my profile and sent me words of encouragement!) and noted everyone's progress and whereabouts.
Since I'm coming back from a long hiatus, I figured I would give you guys a chapter that is all Eve and Loki related. I sincerely apologize for leaving you guys on a cliffhanger for that long. I always say "I'm going to update more often, I promise!" and then I update twice and fall off the face of the earth, so I'm not gonna make any promises this time. Just know I love this story and I want to give it the attention it deserves. Please send love in the form of reviews and PM's to help keep my momentum up! I love hearing from you guys, and I appreciate your patience!
