Chapter 3. A comet

I sat by the window and examined the sky that was changing its color. The day was cold, so the colors have been saturated today. At least, for my eyes.

Everything looks different for a vampire.

Twilight has dissolved in the darkness, making way for the endless night. I could see how the purple color turned violet, changed into bilberry and only then got rich blue shade. I liked that period of time. Too fragile, twilight will always amaze me with its beauty. My name is Edward Cullen. I've seen lots of endless nights, but twilight was an inexplicable wonder to me.

Our house was situated not far from Vancouver, on edge of the forest. My family moved here about eight months ago. Properly speaking, turned back, because we have never stayed for too long at one spot.

However, half of my family was absent at the moment. Emmet and Rosalie were in Europe, enjoying their new honeymoon. Father was out too. Carlisle participated in the medical conference devoted to cardiac diseases. He was going to arrive in a country at night. I have heard Elis shift to the living room, preparing to wait for dad there. All family members were planning to hunt after Carlisle's arrival.

Everyone except me. I arrived at Canada a few days ago and hunted before the others. I don't actually visit the family very often, but I have promised Esme to come back time after time.

I have visited many different places for the last seven years. After spending a year in Alaska with the Denaly family, I started to wander around the world, visiting the wettest places on globe. I didn't care where exactly to go, but the distance was my privilege. My dwelling here was almost a record. For the first time I was so close to…

Alice's thoughts changed. I could see her vision as clear as she was watching it. Alice sighed. Carlisle wouldn't come home this night. We could see the future that hasn't happen yet, but was going to happen very soon.

Carlisle must meet one of old colleagues at the airport. The grey-haired plump man would call to him in a crowd and ask for help immediately, without hiding nervousness. A difficult case, he would say, and a hospital had lack for professionals. The vision was finishing on that, but we knew what decision Carlisle would take. He would prefer to risk, but to save human life. Alice was frowning, trying to see the future, but nothing worked. I shook my head. It is going to stay misty until the meeting happens in the real life.

I could bet the family had nothing to worry about. Despite the potential risk, everything should be fine. Meetings with people from out past were very rare. Carlisle's colleague was too confused in Alice's vision, and it was great. At the moment of stress people don't usually pay attention to details. Carlisle will do his job and vanish into thin air before they start asking questions.

Alice stood up.

'Esme!' she cried, going upstairs. Alice wanted to tell our mother about Carlisle's delay and offer Esme to go hunting immediately, without waiting for dad. Alice knew how thirsty Jasper was. In my opinion, sister's decision was absolutely right. I was sick of Jasper's obtrusive pictures inside of his head. It's better for them to hunt now than wait till the last moment. Jasper seemed to support that idea. Having heard the latest news, he breathed freely and got up, ready for hunting.

There was no point to stay in the empty house. Instead of this I jumped off from the open window. The landing appeared to be very quite, almost noiseless, but I knew the others would notice that. As an evidence of my theory Esme turned her head to my side and sighed. I could read true concern inside of her thoughts. It became mum's constant feeling since our departing from Forks.

I was ashamed. Esme was the best mother I could ever imagine. The memories of my real mom, Elizabeth, have been almost deleted. My human past was too vague. Mother's face was reflecting in Carlisle's memories that I had seen in his thoughts. He came back to that reminiscence recently, recalling their last conversation, Elizabeth's pale face and her piercing green eyes I had once too.

Save him, save him!

Carlisle recalled that moment, justifying himself. I couldn't blame him for that. In the end, he fulfilled the promise made to my mother. He saved my life, and I should thank Carlisle for that. Now, hundred years later, I still had parents who cared about me. Parents I have never deserved, in my opinion.

I needed to hide from another's thoughts. I picked up speed in a few minutes, retreating to the depth of the forest. The voices left my head, making room for my own thoughts. I continued increasing my run. Everything was dividing into colorful stains flickering before my eyes. It fancied me formerly. Unfortunately, I stopped to enjoy my life and notice that kind of trifles. I continued to see only one picture, and it was impossible to get rid of it. That was my main problem, actually. I still saw her face, and couldn't do anything to stop it.

I almost reached the American border. Forced to slow down, I peered into the distance with distrust and easy nervousness. Leaving Bella, I promised never disturb her again. I kept my promise, but I was so close to her now. It was so easy to loose my temper. That's why I travelled so far away. It's not because of me – because of my fear. When you're away, it's getting hard to give up everything and come back to the old place.

I made myself comfortable on a field stone and started to examine stars, hoping that it could help me control myself. Old memories filled my head. They were stronger then another's thoughts. It was the reflection of my own feelings.

Hello. My name is Edward Cullen. I didn't have a chance to introduce myself last week. You must be Bella Swan?

I remembered every day that I had spent with Bella. Now, when we broke up, I was counting the days of our parting.

My family reacted to our moving from Forks in different ways. Rosalie was the happiest, at least, in the beginning. Despite the necessity to start a new life, my sister didn't hide her joy about coming back to our old lifestyle. Her jealousy exceeded all other feelings. Not for too long. Quite soon Rosalie became irritated by my discouraged look. The train of her thoughts changed, so I started to read pity and shame in them. Rosalie finally realized that my tortures would never stop. It meant the end of our old life. We couldn't just make a new start by moving from one little town to another and begin a new circle of lie again.

Emmet missed Forks too, in a way. My brother considered that period of time as funny, but short adventure, and remembered Forks with grief, regretting that he couldn't repeat it again.

Parents' reaction was more complicated. Carlisle has known the rower of love and saw how much it had changed me. He also knew that I have never fall in love again.

It upsets him. Neither Carlisle nor Esme can help me, but they share my grief with me, as far as possible. In exchange I try to visit them frequently. That's all what I can do for them.

The most difficult part was Alice. We stopped speak about Bella. I forbade my sister to look into her future, and sister' visions vanished soon after that. We didn't know what happen to Bella after all these years. Perhaps, she became a college student, left Forks and forgot about her first love. Or she could marry. I didn't know that, but I knew something for sure. There was no place for me in Bella's life any more.

We left Bella in our past. But we weren't humans. We couldn't forget our memories. Alice doesn't speak of it, but I know: she misses her too. Noticing a fragile girl or long-haired brunette on the street, she immediately starts to think of Bella. Alice sees her in every little detail that surrounds us. Just like me. We both endure this pain over and over again. This wound will never skin over. But, in spite of having this pain, Alice can move on, because she always will have Jasper. They're made for each other. It's sad I will never find out what's like – to have someone who can always be near.

I continued examining stars. My life was a full night, ceaseless and dark. When I met Bella, everything has changed. The darkness gave place to the light. Bella burst into my life like a spark, she was a comet that had lightened up my heart and gave hope to find my soul. But that light couldn't shine forever. Blind, I destined to stare at the sky without noticing the shining of beautiful stars.

I still saw the comet before my eyes, but it had burned down. It's all over. You can't change the past. All what I can do now is to live day after day, waiting for death. My life is empty, just like a place in my chest where my soul must live.

I sighed, got up and turned round. It's time to go home. I need to run away. I need to stay away from Bella, from Forks and from my love for her.

There was no place for me in Bella's life any more.

That thought encouraged me, and I run faster, trying not to look back.